:::::: "I have found my voice again..." are the words that escape his heart softly by way of his newfound voice. He walks down the trail that leads towards the beach as he decides to head towards his home. The darkness, somewhat diminished by his soul-freeing song, is still there... only now tempered with the shining light of one person..one beautiful person..Rowsy. His thought, as they always seem to do, turn towards her as he walks. He wonders to himself what she would think of him if she knew the truth, the truth of the things he had done. Surely he was not proud of these things, and he had giving each of the rigands he hunted down a fair chance, more than they had allowed he and his wife. Yet still there is... shame. Shame of the atrocities commited in the name of Justice. Bah... Justice in this case is simply a nicer way of saying Revenge. He stops dead in his tracks and leans against a nearby rock as he thinks. Finally he feels he must put his thoughts down to make sense of them. So there, as he stands, he pulls out his journal and his ink and quill and begns to write furiously. ::::::

I have realized the reason, finally, that I have not been able to give of myself fully to Rowsy. While I love her more than I ever thought I possibly could love again... I hate myself an equal amount to that love. I am no better than the fiends I have written about. Men who kill for their own reasons and no matter what they are they believe themselves right. I believed I was right to do what I did. In many ways I still do. However, I am finally beginning to realize just how wrong I was.

I killed. I took a life... I took 6 lives. Did these men have families? Sons? Daughters? I cared not.I only knew that they must pay for killing my wife. I was patient. I was wounded and left for dead myself. It was months before I could even pick up a sword. They say that revenge is a dish best served cold... the coldness in my eyes as I watched each man draw his last breath was more frigid still. Yes... I gave each man a chance to protect himself and then bested him in combat... much more of a chance than they had given me or my wife on that darkened path. The fact still remains that I hunted them and too their lives.

Then, to find out that it was the Baron... the same little toad of a man that had scarred me for life... he is the one who sent the men. I guess he felt he had not yet caused me enough pain. If he only knew. My soul died that day before that man. My heart died a week later with my wife. The Baron succeeded in what he had hoped... He killed Camden Frost. No more did he exist, there was only.. Lord of Masks. But now... now I find my heart and my soul have been given new life, resurrected in the eyes, the smile,the touch or Rowsy Sinclair. Maybe... just maybe... Camden Frost still lives and will return, someday.

Perhaps today.

:::::: He blinks at the words he just wrote and whispers softly to himself, "Perhaps today...?" Then, without another thought, he oses his journal, not even caring that the Ink may smudge, and turns back... walking with a purpose towards Rowsy's cottage. As he comes up over the last hill, he catches a glimpse of her as she makes her way inside but is still too far away to call out. He assumes she's been to the Dome or somesuch as he makes his way to her door. He raises his hand to knock then stops, a thought crossing his mind even as a small smile crosses his lips beneath his mask. He takes a step back and slowly, reverently, removes his mask for the first time outside in years. As he looks towards her door, istead of knocking he begins to sing. His rich, bass voice carries through Rowsy's door and into her ears, he hopes, as the words seem to come to him, naturally... ::::::

:::::: As his voice trails off with the final, sweet, words... he stands stoically before her door waiting...watching...hoping...ready. Ready to love, ready to be loved, ready to be... Camden, once again. If only she'll answer... He waits. ::::::

--Journal Entry, 28 November, Lord of Masks

::Standing at her table in the sitting room, she attempts to pen an entry into her neglected journal, still a bit sore to sit:::

Well, lets see, what have I learned over the last few days? 1) Dont tell Uncle Alterio to 'bite me'. That was a bit of a...painful lesson. I was kidding, I didnt think he would take me seriously. That damned overlong bamboo shoot hurts. Especially when it breaks over your bottom.

Everything has resumed its craziness, it seems. Mamma Bears paying restitution to Uncle Alterio. She wants Charquin's head on a pike. Over a mix-up. ::sighs:: Sometimes I just think its better to stay home.

Ben, he and Neo got into it. They fought, and Ben did a pretty good number on him. Neo was all bruised. Ben kept telling me I wouldnt understand, and, hes right, I didnt understand why he lit into Neo like that. Even Uncle Alterio didnt get mad that I had returned from the terrordome bloody, and cut up. I sparred..that sort of thing happens when people spar. Thats one of the risks a person takes. I knew that, Neo knew that. It was just a simple spar.

Oh well, much to do today, time to go down and finish up at the Shoppe.

~Lyrias~

:::pens her name in the flourishing script, leaving her journal open to dry, as she makes her way to the bazaar to finish her work:::::

--Journal Entry, 28 November, Lyrias

I have to remember to write more often....bah, things have been crazy of late, so I suppose that's at least some measure of an excuse...

Draco is really getting to be an annoyance...and I thought it was a stressful experience trading with merchants back home. He seems to be running his mouth quite a bit at everyone he can. He's annoyed ben to the point of drawing his blade, and if it weren't for the efforts of Neo and Val, I don't think they would have stopped until one of them was dead. Hmm. Maybe I should've let Ben kill Draco, would've saved a lot of trouble later. He only ended arrested for a few days, after which Alt paid for his release. I thought he learned to watch his tongue, but then he threatened one of my friends, and was excused for it...for a slave, that dragon is sure being held on a long chain. I think Dan is right...I wonder who is truly the slave in this relationship.

My brother Attrei has gone off and vanished, apparently. I know he can take care of himself, but like me, his tongue can sometimes get him in trouble. I am beginning to worry for him...at the very least he could have left a note, or sent a letter by now. Ros seems to be getting more and more lonely as his days of absence continue...I should hope Attrei returns and she feels better.

Char has been going through some rough, and very stressful days. It seems Vixen had thought she was bedding Val, or at least trying to. Mags was troubled, thinking she was bedding Dan. Then again, Mags thinks everyone is bedding Dan, though I still think that's no excuse to go on a wild, sword swinging frenzy. *scratches at the wound Mags left him* Bah...next time I stand up to mags, I'll have to attempt to disarm her with more finesse...and maybe some skill and luck would help as well. I offered Char my opinions, and told her not to worry about it, but I fear she takes to heart her friends, or those she thought were her friends' opinions too closely to heart. I stayed a second night there as she didn't wish to be alone, though I suppose I can't blame her. Having been accused of such things by people she trusted such, she probably felt as though no one supported her.

And the reason for my first night? I can blame that on Jian...the damned fool has followed me here. I suppose I was naive to think I could escape him, but still. *chuckles as he rubs his sore shoulder* He gave me quite the thrashing when I met him...next time I'll have to fight on my terms instead of his...then we'll see who receives the thrashing. Hmm...I should be off now...I'm losing clothes to blades by the dozens, and I'm in need of some more.

*signed*

Eyas "Night" Hawk

*with that he stands, dons his cloak, and promptly walks out the door, leaving the ink to dry*

--Journal Entry, 28 November, Eyas

::sits in dan's office sulking a bit and feeling contrite:: He says that everyone on this isle is fond of me...Bah I nay see it...but I guess it must be thus because he decreeded it so. I am truly sorry and I will be sending him 5000 gp as part of the compinsation. I also ordered 3 cases of rye for him and one for Char though I dont think they have been delivered as of yet. I dont know how he wants me to act....I didnt talk to him this eve I even left his dargon alone when it picked me up by my throat....I shall miss what company I did have of his though for he was one of the few people on this Isle tht I liked to argue with...the man does have a brain besides the one in his pants.

::grumbles a bit and throws down the pen leaving a large ink blot on the page::

Damn it I must need to bed a man ...thats what they all say I need to do.....but I dont know if I am ready though dan did scrub my back in the bath earlier rather well.

::Pens a short note to Alterio asking him for forgiveness and gets 5000gp out of the pouch she was carrying and sends it off with a messanger::

Bah I hate this. ::leaves the note sitting on dan's desk and rejoins the dome::

--Journal Entry, 29 November, Magdelennya

:::sits on the bartop at the dome, writing as everyone around her goes about their own business:::

I bloody well give up! I refuse to spend my time with someone who I will have to bury before anything else. As though I havent been surrounded enough by death lately. Neo just cant quit his fighting. I refuse to be a part of it. Just tonight, he battled Mags. A few nights before, he and Ben. ::shakes her head::: I simply will not be a part of it.

I like to fight too, its what I do. But, to fight constantly...even I dont do that. I have sense enough to let all my wounds heal, at the very least. I thought all those years ago I taught him better control than that. I obviously failed him somewhere, miserably. Its too much. If he cant control his temper, then, perhaps its better that I not spend time with him until he can. In fact, I think thats the brightest idea Ive had in a while.

I dont expect someone to be a doormat, but, starting trouble all the time, getting cut all to hell. Having more wounds than even either of us had as Knights, is simply outrageous. I will not constantly be sitting, wondering, what new wound he will have next. I am simply not patient enough with this sort of thing. He knows it, hell, he should know it. It was one of the most important things I tried to teach him...patience and self-control. Not to mention the fact that it makes me look bad all the time, thats all I need. Ive been in enough trouble of my own lately. I dont wish to add more to the heap.

::::nods, thinking to herself it makes perfect sense, continuing her writing:::

This is what I shall do, then. We'll see what happens from here.

~Lyrias~

::::leaves the journal open to dry, climbing into bed beside her Lia, cuddling her gently, as she, herself falls off to sleep::::

--Journal Entry, 29 November, Lyrias

"slipping out of bed so not to wake Val up, she sends for coffee and sits at her desk to write"

Char just doesnt understand. I may be only 20 but Iv have seen quite a lot in that short time. Ive lived through more than most on this island can imagine. Rumors? Bah, people can talk about me all they want. My virtues..what a laugh that most of these people think they can judge my virtues. At least im honest and I sure dont hide what ever I Do.

When they are nothing but two-faced backstabbing arses. Let them talk but twould be nice to see them get a little backbone and say it to my face. Eh, well jealousy will get them no where. Im rich and im beautiful... i dont need them. Im rich because I have worked my butt off and I have earned what I have. I sure didnt get it sitting on my ass on a stool at 'dome..drinking til all hours of the night and gossiping about people I know nothing of.

And she thinks im insecure. Insecurity has nothing to do with it. I have nothing to be insecure about. Men come and go. IF Val wants Char, he would be with her and not me. I trust him or I wouldnt still be with him. And I know the flirting with her on his part was innocent. But she is wrong about one thing. IF i was insecure and really had thought they had done more than flirt, I wouldnt have said anything to him, I would have just killed her.

Hmmm I waited for that whore to come back with her promise of knowing my name and I would get it now?? what the hell is that? I waited and no one showed to try anything. And Yes I say -try- ...Bah I will send her to the docks in pieces if i see her again. I wont waste my time or dirty my hands on a whore. Wants to strut her 'fine looking ass' into dome and call me a wench and a whore. ha! Mine is the only fine looking ass on this isle and will remain so. Then she runs when I slap her.

"shakes her head" next time I will slit her throat soon as i see her. And I wont forget what that whore looked like. She wants to live, she better return to the mainland on the next ship out...if she hasnt already.

I usually judge people on the first time I see them. Maybe a fault but so far my judgements have always been right. I was right about Char from the beginning. Hell, even Alterio has figured her out. But then, he hardly ever sees past the part of them being a female.

I learned one thing on the mainland. I wasnt placed in a guild there above others, for nothing, who had to start at the bottom as apprentices. It pissed a few of them off and I was accused of sleeping my way into that title. I didnt sleep with anyone to get there. I worked and earned it and i didnt earn it on my knees or my back.. Placed in a position of Investigator because he knew I could do the job. I watch and Observe people. They think Im lost in my own little world "smirks"... Thats where they are wrong.

If i sleep with anyone its because I want to and -not- to get something from them. And if people wants to think that makes me a whore, then so be it. But they should keep in their little Minds, i dont sneak around and bed men and lie. I dont pretend like Im seeing others do lately.

The title of "lady" is nothing but a way of hiding they are a whore and a cheap one at that. Ive have known to damn many so called Ladies that were nothing but whores, sneaking around and sleeping with any man they could get into their bed. But pretending innocence the whole time. Innocent my ass. They were about as innocent as Leahman. They can lie to themselves all they want. But they forget men -do- talk.

Im a woman, yes... a lady, NO. I can -act- the part of a lady when I want. But Im finding that most 'ladies' are only acting the part. So why pretend?

I didnt pretend to be something I wasnt when I met Val. And I havent lied to him about anything. He knows i was a dancer and he knows about men in my past.. And yes I still flirt with some of the guys. But its nothing serious and he knows it. When I go home at night, he knows where i go and he knows I go alone. And besides my flirting never lasts more than a few minutes if that, cuse I get bored fast.

"curses the maid wondering whats taking her so long to bring the coffee, she leaves the journal open and decides to go find out"

--Journal Entry, 29 November, Vixen