*after searching all around the house for another quill to use, she retakes her seat at the desk*

Wrote so hard, I broke the tip off the quill.. I'll have to buy more, I'm using Cal's now and if I break this one, he'll have nothing left to use.

*that done, she returns to her former diatribe*

Alterio I can understand, to some extent.. his womanizing is notorious, but at least he's had the decency to treat most of them equally. Perhaps decency's not the word, but at least he does not profess to love one woman, then turn around and go a-whoring behind her back. Vixen on the other hand: it's clear she still loves Alterio, if you can call that infatuation love. Yet whenever she pleases, she lures a new man on, dancing in the 'dome like a common cage girl. For the sake of the gods, her children visit the 'dome! To see their mother dancing so.. 'tis a shame indeed.

An isle full of drunken women and drunken men, stumbling in and out of each other's beds. I don't know how much longer I can bear witness to it all. Funny, I sound so moral, a common thief.. but some things I cannot understand.

*she signs the entry, before going to return Cal's quill*

--Journal Entry, 8 November, Casidhe

::Arriving at Carazzi Manor to get a few things he's been allowed to store, he pauses and talks to his father awhile, and leaves with a large sum in a satchel. Back to the Guildhouse he goes, contemplating the future, which he records in his Journal::

Not a day's gone by that I haven't been haunted by things I've seen or thought I've seen. The night the jewels vanished.. I know I saw figures cloaked in black run past my darkened guildhouse. Why I kept that information to myself, I don't know, perhaps fear of reprisal, or that I might not be believed. Or worse yet, maybe accused of the thefts myself. I could almost hear possible cries of "He's trying to live up to his Father's roguish reputation" or even worse, "Off with his head"..

I still haven't gone out much among them. Father told me that Jane's taken to shacking up with some man, and surely she wouldn't have waited 'round for me anyway. So with his blessing, I'm going to further my departed Uncle Axalon's work awhile. Exploring and traveling. Father's given me 20,000 gold to fund this trip, one which he hopes will yield another Island to claim in the name of the House of Carazzi.

And if I don't find it.. I won't come back. He didn't say I couldn't, but I still feel the tension. It's victory or nothing. I will not return a failure.

So off I go on this trip. I won't stop and bid goodbyes, only Father needed to know I was leaving, anyway. Until I return, I will leave the Guildhouse secured and my manuscripts locked in the safe. Father has the keys.

Farewell for awhile.

--Journal Entry, 8 November, Breuse Carazzi

THIS is my testimony. If you can call it that. *she grins at these words* Yes, my testimony. I don't care if it's the wrong noun. I say it's a testimony, so it is. Hence TWO DAYS! Two days, and a decision shall be made. *she giggles helplessly* I think a man in the dome thought I was going to commit suicide. Please! Am I so base? *she pauses to laugh outright* No way! I'm Jane Shayla! Janie! CJ the Great! Jane the Mighty! Suicide is highly illogical and entirely impractical!

Testimony...right. Well, first, Alterio can go fall on his head again. "Oh Jane, are you sleeping with Gaidan? Oh, Jane...if you're not a virgin anymore I'll kill him." *she silently mimicks him rudely* As if it's any of his business. Do we even talk anymore? Not much. Every time we start he gets distracted. Do I sit around going, "Alterio, you spend too much on Dock whores. Alterio, who's that woman I saw coming out of the manor?" No, no I don't. Next time, I'll throw something at him. He's back to his old self, this is no lie. I think I've outgrown his "charm". Now I just point and giggle at all the girls that bat their lashes at him in his gods-awful sharkskin trunks.

My testimony...what was it again? Right, the decision. But that waits two days! Twoooo daaaays. Then away the letter goes! *she smiles, nearly giddy* I'm so excited about this. Conviction! Triumph! And nobody knows what's going on! *she laughs* That's okay. I'm only half-sure here, but hey, flying by the seat of my pants is what I do best.

Testimony! CJ's back! In spirit, anyway. No black hair-colouring. No name-changes. Maybe I should become a tavern wench again. Oh, the days of the breakfast clauses. Intimidation? I may be short. I may be young, but I'm no fool, contrary to popular belief. *she snickers to herself* Let 'em come. Let 'em say it to my face. I'm ready. I am honestly and truly Ready! Cheers, Wesley! Prost, and all that good stuff! A shake of the hand, a salute and whatnot. Here I go!

Janie the Mighty

~she slams her journal closed and sprints out of her room, hooting and hollering and waking Aidan up with her yell that's she's going for a swim, and sharken can kiss her blade~

--Journal Entry, 8 November, Jane Maichen

For the past two days, I've been wandering the forest, and this isle...no sleep, no food, no drink, I just wandered, thinking. Thinking about Vixen, about the people here, about my life. And seemingly, I didn't get nowhere. I still love Vixen, very much, but now, it seems almost pointless. Almost. There's still a little grain of hope left in me, and I cling to it like it's the last thing I have. Sure, I have a house, and many new friends in this new land, but I have/had something special with Vixen.

From what I understand, I think I tapped something in her that no one else really has. Maybe I'm self-centered about this, but I think it may be true. She seemed so happy...but she kept pushing me away, as if she didn't know what she was doing when those incidents occured. If any possibility of our reuniting is zero, I certainly don't know it.

Also, when I came back home, I noticed a few things. First, my house had furniture in it. I certainly didn't pay for it. This perplexes me...was it Vixen? Or Alterio? Or someone else, trying to befriend me? Confusing. Also, there was a painting...of Vixen...hanging on the wall. Now this is disturbing. I don't think she'd do something like that...she knows it would mess with my head. Who knows?

Perplexing...

--Journal Entry, 8 November, Valyndor Lyndrae

I know naught what caused me tos tart the fun this eve. I cant believe the others climbed up in the cage and threw cake at everyone...was so much fun. And then after all was said and done...not a one of us got into trouble. and that new person Eyas...cleaned up after us...what a gentleman.

I am begining to think more and more Alterio must hate me...Oh well there are worse things that could happen. At least he blames me instead of getting made at Lyrias which is a good thing. And now he is squeezing the Charquin....I give up I have tried being nice and then just myself ..and he doesnt care for me. I guess it is a fault wanting to be liked by all.

Bah I guess I need to work on other things and starts to think of what advice I need to dish out to others and gets a slow smirk on her face

--Journal Entry, 9 November, Magdelennya

:::sits outside, near the beach, journal open and across her lap, as she begins to write, simply thinking:::

Why do I let this bot'er me? I 'ad all these emotions in check, until I received tha letter from M'Lord Carazzi. M'usband is dead. Aye, 'e doesna draw breath any longer. But, tha I am a disappointment tae 'im...it cuts through me like 'ot knives through but'er. Tae think tha I 'ave disgraced 'is memory....

::she gets off that particular subject, knowing it will do her no good to dwell on it, as she cant change a thing about it:::

Tis nae wonder tha M'Lord Carazzi looks upon me so shamefully...aft'r finding out tha nae only was 'e with Xanthia, and Torence, but, ot'ers as well. I fooled m'self intae believing tha 'e 'ad cared for me. Aye, and only for me. Benjamin said 'e was beginning to care for me alot...if tis wha 'e does when 'e cares for a woman, then I donna want, nor need 'is care. Tis nae wha I wanted. Nae tae be part o'a stable o'women tha 'e can pick and choose 'is way through. Nae. I wanted tae be...forget it. Tis o'er. I willna let 'im near me again. I opened m'self up tae 'im, I let the wall down..and now, it will be rebuilt, again. It 'as tae be. I refuse tae walk around and cry o'er 'im. I refuse it. I willna be the weak-minded woman tha I was with m'usband.

:::her thoughts, once again, turned to her husband, she writes, still the one line runs incessantly through her mind:::

I miss 'im so. I miss the tenderness 'e always 'ad with me. I miss jus 'aving 'im near. I donna think tha I shall e'er fully get o'er 'im. Things tha people profess tae 'ave knaen about our relationship...tis nae always wha they believed they saw. M'usband's time was nae for me...twas for the Knight'ood 'e Commanded. I canna count the number o'nights I spent alone, waiting for 'im tae come 'ome. Ahh, but, tae be a Knight's wife..aye, I knew it would 'appen. But, I ne'er expected 'im tae take 'is own life. Ne'er. It eats at m'soul tae 'ave someone tell me tha I 'ave disappointed m'usband's memory. I canna get past tha.

::: her thoughts now turn to Alterio as she writes:::

Aye, I 'ave watched 'im for a long time now. Though, I 'ave 'ardly e'er approached 'im for anything. And now, I doubt tha I e'er will. 'is charm, it mystifies e'en me. But, now, tis gone. I would likely 'ave a bet'er chance o'seeing m'usband than I would 'im. 'e 'as nae idea 'ow deeply 'is let'er 'urt me. Tha line...cuts straight through tae e'erything tha I am. Twas all I could do when I saw 'im tae nae leave, in a fit o'tears. Though, I willna let any see me tha way, e'er. Nae, I shall nae let 'im knae tha 'is words could 'urt me so.

Tikaris Kyra Flynn

::::having little else to say, and tired, beyond all reasonabilities, she stands, walking back into the tiny place she calls home for the time, leaving her journal open to dry, and, still, fully clothed, lays on her bed, tossing, and turning until sleep finally takes hold of her:::::

--Journal Entry, 9 November, Tika Flynn

"after she managed to get Alterio home and into bed without to much trouble just a few hours ago, she places a maid right out side the door with instructions to peek in on him every little bit and to come get her in Mia's room if he awakens or If she is needed, she then went to Mias room,grabbed a blanket and pillow and curled up on the floor and tried to Sleep, tossing and turning, she just gives up and sits up, lights a candle and reaches for her journal"

Why is he so stubborn? On the beach last night, he whispered to me what was wrong and told me to not say anything. Well I didnt but kept watching him and sent for Jane mighty fast when he fell over. Damn it He has to settle down or he is going to kill himself. Bah and he calls me a murderess. Didnt want me to come home to take care of him thinking i wanted to sleep with him, saying that would be sure to kill him. But sex wasnt even on my mind and still isnt. I just want to make sure he rests like he has to do. Why does he fight against Jane's healing him? I wanted to smack him last night for resisting it.

I know im going to have my hands full with him. And telling me sex with me would kill him, I know him and he will be sneaking off to the docks or hitting on someone at Dome to come home with him. Hmm Maybe I should drag his ass back to the manor and then kick it good and hard for him IF that happens. Aye I just might, Im getting tired of standing by and watching him trying to destroy himself. He may say its none of my business but by gods it is. He is the father of my children and he reminds me constantly of how -my- actions reflect on them, every time I say what I do is none of his business. So i think -his- actions of trying to kill himself reflects more on them. Damn him I wont let him die.

And Thia... what the hell was she trying to pull last night? From what i understand she agreed the night before she would run that shoppe. He gets the paper work drawed up and after hearing that he is to stay calm -she- tries to get him upset with trying to back out of the shoppe. Maybe she thought she would come home with him to discuss it? Where does he find these stupid ass bitches at? Oy, they get worse every day. Some times I wonder if some of these women didnt arrive on the Ship of Lemans.

Well Im going to do me damndest to see him rested and feeling better... might have to beat some these whores down with a club to do it though."smirks" that would be one way to get rid of some of my anger eh? Ara was right. For someone that kicked the First Knight in the balls, knowing Id have the whole knighthood looking for me to remove my head....Lately I just let everyone shove me around and I say nothing. Am I afraid of punishment from Alterio if i stand up for myself? Hell, I usually end up getting that anyways. Why does he always try to find fault with everything I do? Yet others can get by with everything.

Like swimming nude. It was fine for Thia to peel her clothes off the other night. If i do that he says im a whore. Gods, If only I were then i could just shrug him off and ignore his comments. Im not a whore and he damn well knows it.

Bah enough of this thinking. I have to go check on him and make sure he gets breakfast in a little while. And i need a bath, i still feel sticky from that cake throwing last night.hmm Think I will soak in the tub after I check on him. I will get Lyrias to stay with him while i go check on Alkane, might be better to bring Alkane here to stay since Im staying here to look after his father. Aye, that would be better I think. Then i have to go to the shop for a while.

"she lets the journal dry then closes it and shoves it under Mia's bed and rises to go check on him"

--Journal Entry, 9 November, Vixen Blade