"she rubs her temples as she leans against the door of Thirlias room,praying silently to Khlamar for her to get better..she sighs heavily and goes to his rooms upstairs, this being her first time to even attempt to enter these rooms since that night she spent the night with him so many weeks ago, she goes in slowly holding her breathe as she glances around as her eyes fill with tears she turns and runs back out of the room and down stairs to her own room and throws herself on the bed and cries til the tears finally stop none left to cry..she reaches under the bed and pulls her journal to her and tries to calm before she writes"

I can feel his presence everywhere. I can feel his presence strongest in his room but yet i know he is gone, gone from the house, gone from the island. Even though i had agreed to let his father take his body back with him, when it came time for them to leave last night I wanted so badly to scream at him. But i didnt, i held my tongue but i couldnt say good-bye to him. I know its not good bye. I have placed all faith in his father that what he has told me will work. I know it will and we will be together again. I only wait and count the day, the hours, the minutes til I can see him again.

Last night...i returned to dome after they had taken off. Im trying so hard to keep sane. Removed the black cloth from the windows with lyrias helping and burned it in the trash can. Donk is to clean the dome today or else he looks for another job. I wont have the place let go. I had to leave suddenly upon a messenger delivering the news of the sudden sickness some of the guards at the estate had suddenly come down with. And a maid recalls seeing a strange woman pretending to clean. I blew when i heard this. The house keeper was fired on the spot for letting someone into the house. She knows our help live in their own quarters at the manor. "smirks" I will not put up with imcompetence. Luckily only a few of the guards were ill last night. Upong further investigating we found the foul food and it was dumped out. This will not happen again.

This is my home now, not by choice, but Im living here and overseeing that the manor and everything runs smoothly. And it will run smoothly and I be damned if i will tolerate intruders. Next time whoever tries will be killed on the spot. No questions asked. From this point on no one gets past the gate unless the guards know them and I have already approved their entry.

I cant believe Thia had the nerve to show up here yesterday to 'pay her respects', she knew how Alterio felt about her, he told her she was a whore and the last time he saw her at dome, he wanted to kill her. He was still in a rage the next day. Well now she has no reason to come back but if she does I will personally throw her out on her ass.

Luckily for her I wasnt home yesterday or she wouldnt have been allowed into the house. I will have to take inventory tomorrow to make sure everything is still here since she is a thief. Sir Carazzi assured me he did not fall for her reasons for being here and was not foolish enough to confide anything to her. That old man is smarter than some give him credit for. And he is the only man I have ever -ever- curtsied to. But he has my respect. I know about his reign of terror over his wife and children but somehow age has changed him. When i heard of his arrival on the isle i was kinda leery of meeting him again after all these years. I wasnt sure if he would approve of me or that he would remember me at all. It took him a little while but he did remember. I think we hit it off pretty well while he was here. And he knows he is welcome here anytime. And last night seeing them off, I didnt know if i wanted to stay here without Alterio. The old man made it easier by telling me i was welcome to stay at his manor any time on the mainland. Well the old coot may get tired of seeing me cuse I have a feeling he is going to be seeing me more than he thinks. I think he knows how much I love Alterio. I cant leave the island permanently cuse I know how much Alt loved this island. But if i go to the mainland and theres little doubt I wont go as soon as i hear I can go, I know i will be there more than here. But I have people I can trust to keep the businesses running smoothly and to oversee the estate. I cant stay away from Alterio for long. I never could.

Have to open the boutique back up soon. Yule is almost upon us and i hope and pray I hear from Father Carazzi before then. Hearing that Alt is ok would be the only thing i want for yule. Possessions, money they mean nothing to me. He means everything. A part of me died with him that night. I went into a rage when I saw 'him' attack Alt that final blow. I saw nothing but I could hear Alterio's voice in my head telling me over and over to kill him. I couldnt have -not- killed him. He took the life of the man I loved most of my life. I was to stand there and let him walk away? I think not. Not as long as Im alive and can possibly move. I would have killed him with my bare hands if nothing else. eh well all will be well in time. I know it will be.

Vixen

"she signs it and gets ready to make rounds to make sure things are fine before she leaves for the Boutique"

--Journal Entry, 17 December, Vixen Blade

::Foregoing breakfast, he takes a 'medicinal purpose' brandy in his study. His son's casket was laden upon backs of his servants, and brought into his parlor just a few hours before, when they arrived home. Too anxious to sleep, he's been in the study some time now. Too restless as he waits, he writes in his old journal, the one that he took to the Shores. He looks over his previous entries and begins to write::

Well, for the first time in years, he is home. The mages will be over this afternoon; when the winter sun is highest in the sky, the attempt will occur.

Quajinx warned me of several problems that could be encountered, problems I dared not tell Vixen of. Things like partial loss of his memory; infection of the wounds, even though they were packed with herbs and wrapped, no one can ever guarantee one hundred percent clarity from toxins; and mental infirmity. Whether that is long- or short-term, I know not. But weighing these possibilities, and Quajinx' reassurance that these are not definites, but again, simply risks, I still have to try.

He owes it to the children, he owes it to me. He can work here; he can send gold back and support them. Now while I can't give him his Isle, where by reading his tawdry journal and seeing this running around in sharkskin trunks ::Smirks and an image of Attrei pops in his mind. Grumbles "pantaloons":: he can live a proper life. And those he held dear in life can come here. I don't doubt that if this is successful, he'll soon take the adjacent property and build a more glorious Manor than this. He could never be satisfied with something if he had it within his grasp to have something more luxurious to the point of gaudiness..

::Chuckles:: But that's our way, isn't it? This Manor was built in deliberate flaunting of my earnings, to show my father that I'd come into my own. I reap what I sow.

This had better work..Damned flying on dragon backs is not for the faint of heart or the aging. I'm sure it will become a necessity but I will never again eat before doing that again. Was green all the way back to Achethe, bah.

--Journal Entry, 17 December, Alterio Carazzi I

"she works at the boutique late then heads for dome ..didnt stay in there but a couple minutes then headed home.. to much has changed its just not the same any more"

I thought I could keep going...pushing myself. But now im not so sure. To damn much has changed here. Its just not the same. I need to think or rethink i should say. I really dont know if i can stay here, on this island. To much has happened lately. Screw Yule im not celebrating it. I cant fake being in a joyous mood when right now I just want to die.

"shoves the journal over and collapses on her bed in tears"
--Journal Entry, 17 December, Vixen Blade.