I decided to give my heart to you,
Now you can decide what to do.
As i look into your soft, deep, eyes,
I see angels in heavenly skies.
What else could I do,
My broken heart, i completely give you.
All i want to do is be with you.
My heart wants to be able to trust you,
But I dont want my heart broken again.
How i feel, i can't pretend.
My mind races, my heart beats so fast.
I know your intentions are only good.
But all i can think of is, will it last?
I hope it will, i know it should.
So I took a chance and gave my heart to you.
Now you, you are to decide what to do.

--Journal Entry, 3 December, Vixen

**sits down to write a few notations within her journal, her feathered quill dips into the inkwell, as it then slides along the outta rim to drip off any excess ink, Chastity then presses the tip to the journal, while her thoughts stray surpassing her mind, and onto the page simultaneously**

Dearest Journal:
As I sit here in deep dark thought, many things come to mind. I am not sure if it is mine soul still in mourning, or if it is I am ready to move on. Never will I truely be rid of Nemesio's soul, it was so intertwined within my own. I find it so hard to accept anyone who comes close into range, in fear they will capture my heart and hold it captive as Nem did, I do not think I can bare that...even with his death he still towers over me, making me feel as if I were a child and he were my master, I so wanted to make him happy, smile, laugh..I wanted to be the one, the only one. Was I? I never got to tell him goodbye, nor to hear if I was the one he wished, or if I should be proud, was he proud of me? would he be proud now of me?...all this time, I spent alone with his memory. Sure their was Mumphra, he was more of a respectful teacher type. It was not a love thing, I loved him as if he were master in teaching, his skill, his mind, his devotion. Sinister is just that, Sinister. I think I am ready, but a clue..just one clue is alls I need...the wall I have built sturdily up wont come down easily, but with the right person..it will tumble. I plan to do alittle more shopping to finish up the furnashings within the manor.

Sincerely,
Chastity D. De'Kartan

Journal Entry, 3 December, Lady Chastity.

*she sits down at the desk, determined to get her holiday shopping done in a timely fashion this year. Raising the quill to the paper, she mutters to herself as she writes*

Entirely too much money and what to spend it on?

Bah.

Calhin- blessed gods, what to get him? He'll claim he doesn't need anything. Perhaps a diamond-tipped quill, since I keep breaking all of his, and some good paper, or something for the boat, or... hells. I don't know what to get.

Jane- I suppose I could get her something for the baby. She'll be needing baby clothes, surely, the way children tend to go through those things..

Sylver and Ara- furniture, perhaps? Something for their new home together. Unless they already have enough.. I'll have to check the registry.

Everyone else can have a bottle of rye each, formality be damned. They mostly sit around and drink anyway.

This list is the property of Casi Flynn.

*writing the final n, she breaks the tip of the quill again, and groans... picking up the list, and tucking it into her pack, she heads off to the market for yet another trip to buy writing supplies*

Journal Entry, 3 December, Casidhe

::sits in his study and writes in his journal teary eyed::

Alas, she has broken my heart the -last- time! I saw her leave with another man, Hire I think his name was... That is why I am heading to the mainland for a month or so. I will be leaving in a week so I can say my good-byes.

::shuts his journal close nd exits his home to walk to the pleasuredome::

Journal Entry, 4 December, Lord Neo

"grumbles after tossing and turning most the night and slips out of bed, she grabs her journal and goes out on the balcony to write"

Amazing how much the isle is starting to look more and more like the mainland every day. Most of the reasons and and people that I left the mainland to get away from, somehow are right here now. I didnt stay at dome long last night. Even -I- can take only so much and left for home. Val didnt even ask why I suddenly wanted to leave but he said he was going to when I told him I was heading home.

"smirks" thought it was best to just go home than bite my tongue off to keep quiet or say something and get shit started. So I chose to just go. I think im starting to perfer quiet evenings at home. May just start going straight home from the Boutique bypassing the stop at dome altogether for a while. IF Val doesnt like quiet evenings at home, well then I dont know what to tell him. He will just have to go to dome without me.

Damnit I still havent had the new furniture delivered. I was to busy yesterday to think of it. Maybe will do that today if im not to busy.

Lets see... Draco almost got himself killed last night. Looks like most are tired of putting up with him and they attacked him last night, after he attacked Chas.

THe night before that -i- wanted to kill Attrie. But by the time he came back to dome, after hiding, I had calmed down and just got even instead.

Well Got things to do "she takes the journal back inside and leaves it on the desk and gets ready to try to get through another day"

Journal Entry, 4 December, Vix

*Sighs as he decides to write another page to his journal, seeing as he has nothing much else to do since Azorah has confined him to bedrest with his ribs still mending*

Well alot has happened these pase few days while my ribs have been damaged, Azorah brought Ros to heal me, and she did though it was quite painful and she did the best she could but it still pained me severly to move. I will have to find someway to repay Ros, tis now the second time she has healed my ribs.

*sighs as he stretches with a wince*

Azorah brought Bria in to see me, what a joy that was. She is so full of life and she's nearing her birthday, well what she believes is her birthday. She is already hinting for presents, from what I gathered and what Azorah told me she wants a dragon like Azorah. *chuckles to himself before wincing* I dont know if I can do that, but I will get her some books at the bare minimun since she seems to have wanted them aswell. Gods I miss seeing my daughter, twas truely wonderful to see her again, hug her talk to her, I knew she was going well at school on the mainland but for her to be that happy to tell me all about what she is learning, Oh she will be a smart one when she a lil older, not that she isnt already smart.

I ventured out the dome a night or two ago I saw lyri, and my heart came crashing down to see her in such pain and turmoil, she has some problem with Neo, and now this with Ben loosing his mind. I did my best to comfort her as a friend would, but I fear twas no where near enough. I told her if she needs me to talk to or such to just come to me, she is one of the few who knows where I live, I know azorah made her the same offer. I hope her life gets back on track again soon. Even if I cant be with her, I would rather see her happy, than like she is, but I will do all I can to help, even if that means staying away from her totally.

*sighs as he feels tears starting to run down his cheek's, he lays his quill down before picking it up for one last line*

Lyrias Dreams, I love ye more than I thought possible, I hope one day we can return to what we once had.

*with that he lays his quill down the journal being left open to dry as he goes to lay down and try to sleep*

Journal Entry, 4 December, Taeliesyn.

Dearest Journal,
These last few days so many different thoughts have been whirling around in my head and nothing is helping me to come to any conclusions. The other night Attrei tried to show me what it was like in his village that he lived in, and I told him about the way I was brought up. They are so different and I tried to explain to him that I am having a hard time understanding why his culture did the things they did, I just don't know.Seeing that however has made me understand why Attrei is the way he is though, he want's to be family with everybody it seems,the way it was back in his village. He asked me how I feel about him, and I am not even sure enough of that answer to tell myself, he told me he cared for me very deeply but he didn't know if it was love or not.

He told me that he is waiting for me to make the next move in this relationship even though I don't know what that move should be.I think some think me to be a bit more naive than I am, I am just shy about things like that I don't know that I could make the first move even if I knew what it was. It seemed to me the othernight that he wanted to stay in my room, he lingered by my bed for a few minutes more than usual, and I didn't know what to tell him, Am I ready for that type of relationship with him? Won't it only make matters worse when he is flirting with women at the dome, I would think it would make me upset if we were in a more intimate relationship. *sigh* Ah, well I didn't get to stay long at the dome last night, I had some matters to take care of here at the house. I wonder what went on. I'm sure Char will tell me. I suppose that is all I shall write to you dear journal, until we meet again.

Journal Entry, 6 December, Rosalyn Lovine

~Shortly after the imps drug him out of the Pleasuredome last night, he made his way home and sat down at his desk, sighing slightly and opening up his journal, which he hasn't seen much of on a regular basis lately. He picks up the quill, arching a brow as always, and begins to write, titling this entry with the date and a subject: 'Love and Animosity'~

Dear Journal,
The title of this entry is a bit strange, but I will explain. It's not that I feel love and animosity towards the same person, no. I feel it towards different people.

Vixen, how I love her so. Our relationship has reached new levels as of late...we both seem to crave being with each other. It's as if the to 'Is' are turning into 'we'. All we do all day is work at our prospective shops all day, or other projects, then meet at the Pleasuredome later and spend time with each other. It's as if that being with each other, is our pastime. Some people collect things, some people learn games and such, but all we do is be around one another, for it's all we'd rather do.

Furthermore, our conversations lately have gone beyond 'How was your day' and 'Would you like something to drink'. A few times in the past week or so, subjects like 'marriage' and 'children' have popped up. We both know that neither of us are -quite- ready for either, but the fact that we are speaking of them now is almost scary, if not absolutely beautiful. I think, that right now, if I chose someone to be with for the rest of my life, without hesitation, I would say Vixen. No doubt. But at the same time, we both know that we rushed things before, and that only caused problems. We both takes this relationship for what it is, a relationship. Other guys may flirt with her from time to time, and I don't mind nearly as much. First, I trust her more now. Second, I don't fight them anymore, I just turn them into an ass or something.

And the thing with Charquin, she has forgotten about as well. She teases me about it now and then, but she didn't seem to mind. She knew that I was more of a man than to actually do anything with Charquin while I was with her. She knows that I am an upstanding man, quite possibly more than most men here. And she trusts me. That's the main thing.

And now, this relationship doesn't circle around physical attraction like it did before. We really enjoy spending time with one another, talking to each other, and just hanging out. Now, I will never deny that she is the most beautiful woman on this isle, at least to me, but her personality is something special as well. She's strong, yet compassionate. Slightly stubborn, yet compromising.

Now look how much I've written about her alone. I must really be whipped.

Anywho, to the second part of this entry's title, the animosity. Lately, a certain dragon has been getting more and more rude and, well, evil by the second. Dracored. For some reason Alterio has designated him a slave, but he does -not- act like one. He makes rude comments to nearly everyone, and has a temper shorter than a midget. Plus, he seems to have alterior motives that drive his actions. What those goals or motives are, I am not sure. But I have been wary of him since the day he nearly tore me in two.

I was about ready to fight him again last night, when he threw Sylver through the door, nearly injuring him. Attrei seemed to calm him down, so he didn't do anything more. But the day draws nearer where I will be completely sick of his drovel, and that day may be sooner than even I expect.

No one, especially a slave, should treat others like he does. He keeps this up, and I may not have a chance to fight him, someone else will kill him first.

I hate to end this entry on a note like that, but I grow weary and must sleep. It's great writing here, I can explain my thoughts better in writing than I can in speech. And nothing listens better than a blank piece of paper.

Till next time...
Valyndor Heslam Lyndrae

~Val sets down the quill and leave the journal open, allowing for the ink to dry. He stands and goes over to his bed, and lies there, waiting for Vixen to return home before going to sleep.~

Journal Entry, 6 December, Val Lyndrae.