Well even as I travel further and further, searching back and forth for more information regarding my brother, and for someone who can decipher this darn peice of parchment I have been told has the location of my brother I find my thoughts drifting from my task at hand and towards the woman who has made my life liveable when I am around her or think about her. Lyri, she is calming influence in my life, she has already more than once reminded me that searching for my brother is not a hopeless task as I seem to think it is at times, and even though this last time I was back at the isle, she was distant for most of stay we did manage to talk.. talk like we used to, well should I put that more correctly and not talk like we used to we just sat in each others company, a few words exchanged here and there, but nothing that could truely be called conversation, we just sat. Happy to be in each others presence like the way it used to be. How I long for those days to return, and they will.. albeit eventually.

**a muttered curse as the scribe drags half way down the tablet due to turbelence**

There I go doing it again, letting my thoughts drift onto lyri, when I should be searching for my brother, but honestly I dont mind. She is the strength that has kept me searching. I will find my brother one day, and I hope on that day I wont be alone when I do, and I dont mean alone as by myself because I know azorah will most likely be there, but be married, with lyri by my side and in my heart. Even if she cant physically make the journey with me when I finally find him, she will be there in spirit and I will bring my brother back with me for her to meet. Twould be only fair.

**the scribe once again jaggeres across the tablet as the turblence hits again, instead of signing off he just slides it away into his pack. Once again trying to concentrate on the search for his brother.**

Journal Entry, 13 December, Taeliesyn.

::sits in her chaise, near the window, taking in the nights little offered breeze as she writes, sighing softly:::

Its almost time for Taelie to reappear...I think. I sometimes loose track of when he is supposed to return, and when he will remain gone. I can almost always tell when he is to return, I begin to become anxious.

I tried, I honestly did, for Uncle Alterio's sake, and Ben's sake to leave Taelie. But, I just cant do it. I love him. Its unmistakable. I think about him constantly, even while Im working the metals at the jewelry shoppe, I think of him. Eventually, we will be married. I know we will. I cant think of it being any other way. He means so incredibly much to me. I know he loves me. The last night we spent together proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt for me. Spending the night there with him....

:::smiles softly, letting that thought linger a while longer before continuing to write:::

I have most of my Yule shopping done. For a few people, it was personalized gifts that I had made while hoping for someone to come by the shoppe. For others, it was off to the other shoppes. I just hope everyone is happy with what they got. As for Taelie's Yule gift....I have absolutely no idea what to get him. Nor Ben.

Ahh, well, it will come to me I suppose.

Journal Entry, 13 December, ~Lyrias~
::::signs her journal, leaving it on the chaise to dry as she rises, making her way to the sleighbed to curl up around Lia, drifting to sleep::::

::sits on his balcony just coming back from the dome, and reading the Notice::

Aha! The day has come! I will turn in Ben for his murderous crimes upon other people. Yes, they were hated, but it IS murder. *grins* My day for revenge has come.

On a lighter note, Eyas and Attrie has stolen back my money That Gyanins had ripped off. Of course after paying htem for the job, I only got a fraction of what I used to have. Oh well. I payed them what I saw fit for the job. I tried to help them, but I was caught. I am not a thief after all, I am a Warrior. I will not go into details of how I got caught by the SSAG, its a little odd. Then again, so is life here...

Journal Entry, 13 December, ~Neo~

::sets his jounral down, and heads out of the door towards the dome to try and get Ben arrested::

*Sits down within her silent aura of retrospect, Chas reaches her hand back to adjust the pillow inwhich she sits upon. The mahogany desk set up very much as if she were running a business; neat, tidey, and very organized. Her fingers reach out taking the feather tipped quill carefully, and dipping the tiped end into the small inkwell, the quill rises from the well running the tip along the outter rim of it, inorder to remove excess amounts of ink. She takes a deep breath, whispering a small cantrip enchantment upon the un-lite candle, making it instantly burn with a fiery inclination. her left hand swaddles against her temple as she adjusts her elbow slightly upon the desk top in a comfortable position.*

Dear Journal:
Whilst I was galavantly about, I noticed the new guards, stanced directly upon the exterior door of the Dome. 'What could this possibly be about now?' as I curiously thought to mineself. Much to my surprise, as my storm cloud eyes engulfed the men, The bulkier of the two...reached out and grabbed my arm rather harshly pulling me off to the side, we exchanged stares before he spoke "You..what you doing? Do you know Nemesio Canales?" of course I then blinked...and mayhaps made a quirky facial expression, "Yes of course I know him....why?" well then my heart began to flutter thinking mayhaps his death was staged...was he alive? could he be looking for me?? then the guard shoved the scroll as me "Read this girl~!" I nodded slowly and compliant notating that the insignia he bore, was indeed one from Nemesio's Knighthood...Yes, it was about Nemesio..~my~ Nemesio. At that moment my heart dropped as it felt as if it stopped beating, I knew right then my face drained of all conceedable color, the writing, was familiar and I knew..he wasnt coming home to me, he was indeed dead.

After all these months, I had hoped, maybe more wished that this was not true...but seeing the Knight Trione's script...set the icing upon the cake of death. Had I been so cruel in belief to try and frame Ben? was I unjustifiable for wishing the man's death? Yes I tried to sway him into my torid weaved alluring web, I dazzled him with sweet seduction...well I had a plan, a very good plan, a plan that would make it all go away, the pain, the hurt, the longing...I thought if I could get Ben close enough to my heart, that I could kill him and show him what he ruined for me...but it didnt quite work out that way, now did it. Oh damn it Nemesio, how can you let someone like CalKane kill you?! Damn you....god damn you. Never will that spot be filled, all will be voided and now my torment only begins...a lost cause because I am nothing without him. After grasping the letter the guard and I exchanged looks again, within his eyes I might have picked up sympathy, or mayhaps pity...was it that noticable? was I not good at hiding my feelings? maybe I am just paranoid...maybe. Well as you can see Journal, I am indeed confined to the hidden covets of the manor, I do nae feel the energy to go to the Dome and prance about petaling good will, humanity, and a fake smile...when it is mine heart and soul that frowns...the hell with that, the hell with them. I am not strong anymore, nor do I wish to be...I will lock myself up and hold my being hostage in a land of turmoil...and tragity.

Journal Entry, 13 December, Chastity De`Kartan

*she crawls out of bed, somewhat unwillingly, having been stricken ill several days previously. She manages to make her way over to the desk chair and sits down heavily in it, taking up the quill.*

Gods above, what a time to be ill. I haven't gotten any Yule shopping done yet, and I've noticed that other people have... we received two barrels of wine from Sir Carazzi as a gift, I shall have to remember to thank him for that when I see him next.

I have not been down to the 'dome since my illness, though I have heard the news of the Knights posted there. I may go down there later today, if I am feeling better, although I shy from it somewhat. The last time I got myself involved in anything, my life was threatened; though I had nothing to do with either of the murders, was not even present when they took place, a lust for vengeance can make people view events oddly.

Cal is out on the Rover again, up to no good I am sure. But then, that's what I get for fallin' in love with and marrying a singing pirate. *she chuckles softly to herself, before continuing* Hopefully I will feel well enough to have dinner ready when he gets home.. though he does not mind it, I am sure he has grown tired of waiting on me when I cannot get out of bed.

*she sneezes, and signs the entry hastily before running to find a clean handkerchief*

--Journal Entry, 14 December, Casidhe

Dear Journal;
I have time now to write and it seems I may have a bit of time here in the future. Who knows. They have closed the ports. I can not get off the island. It's all about some investigation of a couple murders. Nemesio and some other person.. Qko, or something. Now, I dont have a clue who killed them. I just want to leave.

Yeah I know. My tune has changed.

Well not really. I would remain here but for one thing. A condition was broken. The only one I ever had.

Let me be specific: long ago I had told Alterio I would take just about anything from him .. anything but one thing. And should he ever raise his hand in anger to me and strike me I would be gone. It is almost inconcievable to me that any one, loving someone else would do such a thing anyway. Well he hit me. I was in shock. I put up no fight, I did not resist. It was all over something I had been trying to arrange for months, something he knew about and yet acted as though he'd never heard word one of it, and that it was a plot to twist against him. Kate showed up and he blew up.

I dont know how he sees so much resemblance between Kate and I. We are not blood, she is adopted. Oh well. Not that it matters at all though because we are sisters, now and always. It just bothers me sometimes. And my motives were also questioned, to put it mildly. I tried to explain, I would have but realization hit me: No one would have believed me anyway. The rest will believe as they see fit and use it as it benefits their own plans. I have come to that revelation. No one here is less than motivated. So I stood silent and took it. It was better that way, I suppose. Ah well.. I am sidetracked.

As I was saying, he hit me. And I love him. But I cant stay here. I just want to go away. As soon as the ports are open I will get out. I have been avoiding everyone and havent really seen anyone other than a few servants and the occaisional passing gaurds for days.

As soon as I can book a passage, I will disburse what's left of my money to lyrias. She can use it for her wedding. I am sorry I will miss it but such is life. I will write notes to everyone, telling them good bye, as I do not wish to see anyone.

I will get off this island.

--Journal Entry, 14 December, Xanthia

~she nods a farewell to her last patient for the morning, and shuts the door behind him. Settling in her study, she draws out her journal, Paul happily mouthing the ear of a little rag bear~

Hung and burned in effigy again, surely. My decision to leave Alterio's home and stay out of his celebration will work against me, surely. Those that don't bother to ask me why I did so will use it as barbs. My name will be blackened again for a decision made out of necessity, responsibility, and my desire to remain sane and have a happy holiday. No matter. I've no respect for those that trounce upon someone when they don't have the whole story. So it has always been, so it always will be. And so I will have a pleasant Yule with my son.

Alterio's scathing words truly hurt. I think his words are the only ones that could do so just now. But then, I can't blame him for being upset. Can he blame me for being upset? What truly bit was what he threw back in my face. How many things I could throw back in faces if I was the sort, especially his! But I wouldn't do that. I didn't even address the fact in my response. What's the point of throwing mistakes and faults back and forth at one another, especially at Yule? I knew if I'd stayed, arguments and unpleasantness would ensue. The Qko issue is a delicate one with me, and one Alterio and I have never been able to agree upon. If I'd stayed with him during this campaign, all hell would have broken loose. Leaving was best for everyone, espcially the children. But who will believe that? Very few, I'm sure.

Ben...dear gods I wish he would contact me so we could talk about what's going on. If he turns himself in, what sort of justice do the Knights have in mind? Why isn't the SSAG taking care of it? But why should they when they didn't take care of Qko. Things were different then, though. A murderess stopped by vigilante justice, the only means anyone had at the time. Vigilante justice called murder itself...fair enough for some, but I would call it defense...self-defense and defense for everyone on the isle. However, I have al3ways believed one should never kill unless necessary. While justice should be wrought, I distrust the sort of justice the knights will want. If Ben runs, I can't blame him for it. He may be running for his life. I just wish he'd let me know.

Even away from the manor, a merry Yule may be an impossible feat with all of this hanging overhead. Maybe it will be done with before the holiday. I can only hope. I'm staying out of it. Just as with the campaign against Mumphra's control of Alterio, none will listen to my logic anyway. And the death of Nemesio is still something I'm unsure of. Yule with friends is out of the question once wicked tongues work their magic, as they've done in past, and surely will again. Despite this, I will stick by my decision as the best and only thing I know is right to do right now.

My only question is, why now? At Yule? I'll never receive an answer for that. I only hope that maybe Alterio will try to see my point of view, and those that are my true friends will respect me enough to ask me what's going on before believing rumours that will surely be spread.

Jane

~she closes her book, shaking her head. She retrieves the drool-soaked rag bear from Paul, holding it between forefinger and thumb, and drops it onto a towel on the desk. She gingerly lifts Paul from the basinet, and heads to the kitchen to get his milk~

--Journal Entry, 14 December, Jane Maichen