The Campout I

This is not your normal campout do not try this outside!!! Now on with the story!

Chapter 1

‘I can’t believe that they talked me into coming to this’ Mimi thought to herself. She was the first one to reach the camping grounds. ‘I knew I was driving to fast. That cop didn’t have a chance.’ She chuckled. ‘I love that Porsche.’ She swatted at a fly and walked over to a flower patch. As she picked one a bee stung her in the finger. “S---!!!” she yelled in surprise. She heard laughing behind her and turned to see who it was. Izzy was leaning on a tree laughing as Joe was unloading his stuff from Izzy’s Four Runner. “ That was real smart.” He exclaimed. Walking toward her. “ That wasn’t funny!” Mimi yelled back, sucking on her finger. “ Ready for a weekend of ‘hard’ activities?” Izzy inquired. “ Maybe” Mimi said with a smile. She looked over Izzy’s shoulder and saw a rather ‘large’ bag fall on Joe. She burst out laughing. Izzy walked over to help dig Joe out. Then a loud rumble started to get louder and louder. “ Hey Mimi is that your stomach?” Joe joked. “ No it’s your-“ she was cut off by the sound of breaking of brush and a hummer coming out of the woods. ‘That’s a car’ Mimi thought. A dark green hummer sat gleaming in the sun with some small branches on top of it. The door swung open and out jumped Matt. “Hello” he comely stated. Everyone greeted him. That left two Destin not there. “This is it?” Tai said. Everyone whirled around. He was seated on a Honda Motorcycle with Sora behind him. “Looks like it.” Sora replied. Izzy walked over. “That things silent.” He said. “Yep, sure is” Tai replied. “ How much for it?” “ 4,500” “Good deal” They continued into their conversation. Mimi and Sora began to discuss clothes they brought. Matt observed the scene and thought ‘this will be one hell of a camp out. They don’t even know what were doing tomorrow.’ He began to set his tent up. Joe did likewise. Soon dusk was upon them. Then the problems began.

Chapter 2

“ These D--- poles wont- fit- together” Sora grumbled. Then the poles snapped and down went the little of a resemblance of a tent that was there. “ I Hate Tents!!!!” She yelled out. Matt who was half asleep mumbled, “shut the hell up.” No one herd him. Izzy decided not to fool with a tent and camped with Joe. Mimi was half way finishing her tent when Tai tripped on a root and broke the poles to her tent. Mimi just stared at the tent. “oops” Tai let out. “ yes” Mimi said to herself. “ Matt can I camp with you?” Mimi asked. “ if you can be quiet you can come.” Came a sleepy reply. She grabbed her stuff and ran to the tent, jumped in and scream came from the tent. “watch where you step!” Matt yelled. “ sorry” Mimi said. Sora hearing this happening commented, “ if you suck it, it will feel better.” Everyone but Mimi and Matt burst out laughing. “ very funny” Mimi retorted. ‘ I wouldn’t mind that’ Matt thought. They fell asleep soon to the sound of tents ripping and Tai and Sora swatting at misquotes.

Chapter 3

Joe awoke the earliest. Stepping outside the tent he looked at the campout. Two complete tents, one ripped. Clothes spued out over the ground and a dead squirrel next to a bottle of aspirin. ‘interesting’ he thought to himself as he walked into the woods to “mark his territory”. When he returned Matt was already up and cooking breakfast. Soon all the others arose from their slumber. “what is this?” Sora questioned, “this is good.” “Squirrel” Matt replied. Everyone spit the food on the ground. “what the hell-“ Tai was cut off by Matt. “just kidding” Everyone glared at Matt then tossed the rest of their breakfast at him. Eggs and sausage was flying left and right. After they ran out of food they tossed their dishes in the tents and headed into them to change. Then the questions came. “Where are we going?” “What are we doing?” “What should I wear.” Then came the answer from Matt and Tai. “ Wear a skirt and white shirts” Matt and Tai both had evil grins on their faces. They packed onto Matt’s hummer and away they went to the river.

Chapter 4

“Here we are” Matt said as he drove into the canoe rental place. “Were going canoeing?” Joe asked. “ Yep” Tai replied still smiling. They went onto the shoddy shack to rent the canoes then headed down to the waterfront. Once they got there they split into canoes. Tai and Sora, Matt and Mimi, Joe and Izzy. (Editors note: This is not suitable for younger audiences) They started to paddle out into the river. “When will we finish?” Mimi asked. “I’m estimating three hours” Izzy said. “Uhh.” They were about a half-mile from the starting point when they hit some rapids. Matt and Mimi’s canoe flipped. Both yelled in surprise. Everyone was laughing so hard that the others flipped over into the water too. “ the water’s pretty clear.” Mimi stated “ “not as clear as something else” Matt replied. “ Something is pretty clear too” Tai said, staring at Sora. Joe and Izzy jaw dropped. “Oh and what is so clear?” Sora demanded. Then her and Mimi looked at their shirts. “we have a lace and silk on our hands” Matt said jokingly to Tai. “ You might as well take the shirts off” Joe commented. “What!” Both girls yelled in unison. “ hey I have an idea” Matt said. “Yeah, why don’t you teleport yourselves back to your houses.” Tai said. “Ok, we’ll get our alien chicks and have some fun.” Izzy stated. With that Joe pulled out a metal domajigger and pressed the button. A portal opened and they were sucked into it. “ What the hell?¿?” Tai said staring. “ I’ll never know what those two are up to or into” Mimi said. By now the canoes were floating down the river and nearly out of sight. “Well there goes our transportation,” Matt stated glumly. “Who cares” Sora said “I put our name down as John Deer” “you mean John Doe?” Mimi questioned. “no John Deer. They took a glance at the boys hair and agreed that a bushwhacker clipped their hair last time.” Mimi and Sora burst out laughing. The boys just stared at them. “Hey why don’t we go climb that cliff we say earlier.” Matt suggested. Everyone took in the current situation. All of them were wet, the girls were partially nude, and they had no way to get back to the beginning of the river. “Ok” the rest of them agreed. They climbed out of the river and then assessed the situation again. All of them were wet. Matt’s pants were gone, Tai’s ripped, Mimi’s shirt was ripped, and all of them had mud all over them. They walked toward the cliff, or limping toward the cliff.

Part Two: the rest of the day

Chapter 1

“Well here is the shop to rent the equipment” Matt said. A small homely shop was near the cliff. They walked in and a small bald guy with eyes that were nearly closed and talked in a gruff voice. “ Do we know you from every where?” Tai asked. “No this is my summer job. I work in a parallel universe during the winter.” The man said. “Is your name Jeni?” Mimi asked. “No it’s Bob I work for the IRS in the winter.” He replied. They all looked in opposite directions. Matt and Tai rented the gear as the girls went to the wall. “Now I need an address of where you are the most.” Bob asked. Matt and Tai looked at themselves and looked at Bob. “ Any street corner in Tokyo” they replied. Bob looked at them queerly, then wrote that down. They soon met up with the girls at the cliff. “what took you so long?” Sora asked. “we had to make an address” Matt replied. The girls nodded as the guys laughed. “well let’s get going” Sora said “After you.” Matt said. ‘such a gentleman’ Mimi thought. ‘why can’t Tai be like that’ Sora thought. ‘I am so good’ Matt thought. ‘Matt you’re a genius’ Tai thought, looking at the girls skirts. The girls slipped into their harnesses quickly and the boys looked confused and soon became tangled in it. “need help?” Mimi asked. “sure” they replied. So the girls kneeled down and slipped the harness on the boys. Then a voice came booming through the forest. “ this is a public place!” Bob yelled. Then the girls looked at what this looked like; they quickly stood up. The girls climbed the wall slowly and with complaints about their nails. Sora made it to the top quicker that Mimi. She took her harness off. “what a view from up here” Sora said looking around. Tai paused climbing and looked up. “What a view form down here!” Tai remarked to Matt. “what did you say.” Sora said helping Mimi up the top. “I like the view from here” Matt said. “Whatever” the girls said. Tai and Matt sat hanging from the cliff laughing. Then the girls saw what the guys were laughing at. “Hey Mimi why don’t we cut these cords.” Sora said. “ I think we should” Mimi agreed. “ but I have the knifes” Matt said. “Damn” Mimi muttered. Soon after the guys reached the top and they tossed their gear off the cliff and they left.

Chapter 2

They walked into the camp partially dry but still cut ripped and covered with mud. Once more they surveyed the scene. Tai’s tent collapsed, the coons ate all the food and there was a fire burning where the propane tanks were. “home sweet home” Mimi muttered. The sun was setting fast so they decided to gather around the fire. “ I feel like I’m camping now.” Sora said. “not yet” Tai said, “we have to sing” “NO” Sora, Mimi and matt yelled unison “ok ok” “ I have a little something that might add to this party.” Matt said. He left the fire and went into his tent. “Hey one is missing!” Matt yelled. He looked outside and saw a opossum swaying back and forth. He chuckled to himself as he was walking back to the fire. “Now that’s what we need” Tai said. “Yep” Matt said, not noticing a tree root sticking out of the ground. He tripped and four of the remaining went flying into the fire. The fire got bigger and caught Tai’s hair on fire. “My Hair!!!” Tai yelled. “The Drinks!!!” Matt yelled. “ The two morons!!!” Mimi and Sora said. “I’m not a moron” Matt protested. Tai grabbed the last bottle opened it up and dumped it on his hair, infighting it more. “yeah, but he is” Mimi said. They looked at Tai as he was running toward his tent to get some water from his canteen. “ Watch out those things are flammable!” Sora yelled, but it was too late. Tai dived into the tent and a second later the tent burst into flame. Then every curse word known to man came flying out of the burning tent, knocking Matt, Mimi and Sora over on the ground. All the wind from Tai’s mouth put the tent out. He was sitting in the center of the charred tent, bald except for some burnt clumps, and had singed clothes. “ow” he meekly let out. Everyone just laughed. Tai stood up, walked out of the remains, and stepped on a half empty bottle of beer. He picked it up and slowly walked over to the group. “Hey that’s the bottle the Opossum must have drank out of” Matt said. “I’m not drinking out of that!” Mimi exclaimed, looking at it. “Me neither” Sora agreed. A hour later the bottle was spinning in a circle, and it was empty. “ I get to kiss you” Mimi pointed at Sora, who pushed her hand toward Tai, who pushed her hand toward Matt who bit her finger. “Oww that hurt!’ Mimi yelled. “Can I kiss it to make it feel better?” Matt questioned. “Yes” Mimi switched places with Sora so she was sitting next to Matt. He delicately kissed her finger. “Anything else hurt?” “yes” Mimi said leaning closer, “I bit my tongue earlie-“ She didn’t finish her sentence before Matt’s lips closed in on her. He leaned her down and kissed her pationatly. “Hey get a tent!” Tai joked. Matt leaned up “Actually Tai I think you need to get a tent.” Mimi and Sora laughed. “Hey that reminded me” Sora said, “I have no where two sleep, so can I sleep in your tent with you and Mimi?” “Two things, One: you can sleep on Tai, Second: There are no threesomes in my tent while I own it.” This made Tai and Mimi break out laughing, causing Sora to get red in the face. “Hey I have an idea” Tai said, “let’s play truth and dare for the tent.” “ I’m liking that” Matt said. “Truth or Dare?” Sora asked Mimi. “Dare” “I dare you to strip, run through the woods, while yelling ricci-ticci-ticci. Matt and Tai laughed, but stopped when Mimi got into her birthday suit. Then she ran out into the woods. “Ricci-ticci-ticci, Ricci-ticci-ticci, Ricci-ticci-ticci, Ricc- what the hell do you think your doing! Can’t you see I’m streaking through the woods yelling Ricci-ticci-ticci?!¿ You can?! Well good then get lost buster!” “What was that?” Tai asked. Mimi walked back into camp “ A hunter was staring at me like I was some psycho.” She said. She sat back down took her shirt and covered herself with it. “Next is you Tai” “Ok, ok.” He said. “I dare you to stick up your ass” Matt cringed at the thought. ‘I’m getting that tent’ Tai thought. The stood up and dropped his pants, walked over to a log, and (Editors note: I can’t write this it is to painful to think about!) Tai walked back to the fire like a coy boy. Matt still had a painful look in his face. “That’s got to hurt.” He said. “ Ok Matt your turn.” “dare” “I dare you to strip, walk to the rangers office, hug him and walk back.” “What!?, ok, ok” The tossed his clothes in a pile. The girls stared at him. ‘damn’ Sora said, ‘Mimi got the better man’ ‘I’m getting some of that tonight’ Mimi thought. ‘ show off’ Tai thought. Well Matt walked out of the camp they waited patiently for him to return. Then they heard someone yell, “Get off me!,” followed by the sound of a rifle firing. Then they saw Matt’s body burst through the trees and fell on top of Sora. “Holy ----!” Matt panted, “oh sorry” He got up of Sora. “No problem, anytime you have the urge to fling your naked body onto a person come to me.” Sora replied. “ok” Matt said with a chuckle. ‘Whore’ Mimi thought. ‘How does he get everything’ Tai thought ‘I hope Tai’s like that’ Sora thought. ‘Quick give me some bacterial cleaner! My body touched hers, I might become boring or mature!’ Matt frantically thought. Then the girls had an idea. Sora spoke up. “ok it’s between you guys” She paused. “whoever shaves their heads gets the tent” Mimi said. ‘ha ha Matt won’t do that’ Sora thought. ‘oh s---! Sora tricked me’ Mimi thought. The guys looked at each other then Tai spoke up. “I’ll do that” “I wont” Matt said. “Then we won!” Sora said with a jump Mimi looked at Matt but he winked at her. The pow-wow was broken up and the victors went into the tent and the losers went to get the hatchet. (The hatchet?) Yes the hatchet.

Chapter 3:

Tai sat up and swatted at a mosquito. He had slept on a tree leg all night, Sora bit his –(um)- and had half of his blood supply now flying through the tent. Why did it sound like it was raining? He pulled his boxers on and stepped outside. “What the hell?” Tai muttered. He was standing near a grass hut with smoke coming out form the chimney. It looked like Tarzan’s hideout. Then he heard some one yelling. “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” Then he sees Matt swinging from a vine coming toward the house. “Matt watch out for that tr-“ Tai was yelling. But Matt missed the tree, missed the hut, missed the staggering coon but hit Tai. They went flying. Mimi came out of the hut looking like the Little Mermaid®. Sora peeped her head out and looked like Nala®, and Mickey Mouse® stepped out from a tree and said “Man when you gotta go you gotta go.” He walked away. The girls walked out and looked at the guys. “This is like the supermarket, grab and go” Sora said. “Yep” Mimi agreed. Sora picked up Tai, and Mimi picked up Matt. They walked toward the cars, got in them and drove away to my next story……………