Title: Destiny
Author: Dearlylovedaimee
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Catherine and Sara
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters; all rights go to
those who do. I am just using them.
Series: Unrequited Love Series
Notes: Any feedback would be greatly appreciated
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She left! She just left me! How could she do that? I, mean this is
Catherine we are talking about, she wouldn't just leave me. At
least,
not unless she had a good reason to, right?
Something must have happened to Lindsey or maybe she had to be
somewhere important. But if that were true, why didn't she just
wake
me up to let me know? Or if she didn't want to wake me up, she
could
have at least left me a note. Okay, Sara just breathe! Just breathe.
You're not going to panic. You'll just give her a call. Like
I said
before, I'm sure she has a perfectly good explanation as to why
she
left.
Oh, who am I kidding? There is no reason why she left, she just left.
You scared her off, you idiot! You fucked her and now she is fucking
you right back. God, how could you be so stupid Sidle? How could you
screw someone you work with? You know the rules! Don't get
personal!
They are people you work with. You aren't friends with these
people.
You aren't supposed to care. I mean... you don't care!
That's right
you don't care! Especially not about Catherine Willows! She was
nothing but a mistake! She's trouble with a capital T! She could
ruin
everything you have worked so hard for these past three years.
She's
evil! She is satin! Don't fool yourself into thinking you could
ever
be good enough for her! Stay away, just stay away from her! Remember
she doesn't mean anything. You love her! No, I mean you don't
love
her! I mean... oh God I don't know what I mean! Somebody help me!
I'm crying now, that's great! What a fucking baby! It's
not like it
hasn't happened before. You've been screwed over many times.
Why is
this any different? Did you really think she was actually looking for
someone like you? Did you really believe you two were going to have a
world win romance with out any rules or regulations? And did you
really think she wasn't just looking for a quick fix? Well, did
you
Sidle?
I need professional help! That's all I can say. I need to just
take
some Tylenol and go back to bed for a while. I need to just fall
asleep and forget my problems, forget her! I need to just... oh shit
its 7:30! I need to get ready for work!
***********************************************************
I just barely made it on time. Two minutes later and it
would have officially been the first times I was late. I'm never
late! Then again, I also never sleep with my co-workers. Guess
there's a first time for everything! Oh God, I just hope that I
don't
run into her here. I don't know what I would do. I am perfectly
calm
right now, and if I see her I could lash out irrationally! Better
yet, I could kiss her! Oh, no...out of my head you evil, evil
thoughts. Remember Catherine beautiful...ahhhhh, I mean bad, yeah
that's right bad!
Here comes Grissom! Oh, shit just act natural! Remember you
didn't do
anything. Deny it all, he has no evidence!
I'm gonna die!
Oh, great he is in a good mood tonight. I like when he's in a
good
mood. But, he is looking at me funny, why is he looking at me like
that? He has never had that twinkle in his eyes before. Oh, great!
Now what do I do? Of course he wants to talk to me! I can't ever
just
get off easy, can I? He is trying to be funny; okay Sara, just laugh
when he laughs and you'll be fine. Alright, here we go with the
funny
behavior again. He is touching my arm. And don't even tell me he
is
staring at my breasts! Grissom I am flattered, but unless you want
your eyes torn out of their sockets, you had best re-direct them to
my face! Your just asking for a beating, aren't you buddy?
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Saved by the beeper! Thank the Lord for technology.
***********************************************************
We have a new lead on our stabbing victim. Finally, work! I like
work. I like it even more when I get to do it alone. Lucky for me
Grissom has a revolver to meditate over. That means I am safe for a
couple of hours. I don't think I could take on more minute of his
flirting. He is sweet and all, but I have made up my mind. I am going
to become a nun. I don't ever want to hear the words sex and
Catherine in the same sentence. That just spells disaster. Actually,
it spells fun, but we'll just pretend that I don't think that!
Ohhhhh, gunshot residue on the victims clothing. Maybe he was the one
who fired to shots. Only one way to find out, I had better track down
Grissom.
Let's see, do I have everything here? Ballistics findings on the
bullet, trace on the gun, and ...SMACK!
Could I be any clumsier? I know better, never read when I walk. I am
too damn speedy as it is.
"Jesus Christ, I'm sorry! I didn't see you..."
"No it's completely my fault I should watch where I am going.
I ..."
Well, at least it was my fault, until I looked up and realized who it
was I just ran into.
I thought my heart was going to stop beating the minute I looked into
those magnetic blue eyes. I had never been so nervous in my entire
life. I quickly looked for anyway to keep my attention diverted. Then
I remembered the file folder that I had just dropped all over the
floor. I began to nervously fiddle with the contents of the folder,
until there wasn't anything left to organize in it. Then came the
stare. I couldn't help it. I mean I kept trying to fool myself
into
thinking that I wasn't feeling hurt or angry. The fact of the
matter
was, I had never hurt so much in my life.
Everything that happened next is still kind of a blur to me.
Catherine must have known that I was going to loose it because before
I could push past her to escape, she grabbed me by the arm and swung
me into her office so fast I almost dropped my folder again.
Then came the attempt at apologies and I wasn't in the mood for
it. I
lunged for the door but damn, it was locked. That little trickster!
But I wasn't going to let that stop me, I was bound and
determined to
break the door down if needs be. I didn't want to hear whatever
lame
ass excuses she had. I had already made up my mind. I wasn't
going to
be bothered by her .I wasn't going to allow myself to feel for
her or
let her feel for me. I was done! No more!
"Sara, wait! Stop, please can we talk? Just hear me out. We
really
need to talk."
Oh now she wants to talk! Well, try this on for size!
"I never want to hear or see you again. I don't want you to
even
attempt to speak to me again. If you see me in the halls just act
like I'm not there. I hate you, I hate you Catherine Willows. How
could you, of all people do that to me? After, I just got done
pouring my heart out to you; you go and do that to me. Call me crazy
to expect more from you, you of all people. I thought that with a
woman it would be different, but you're just like Hank. All you
wanted was to fuck me over. Now unlock this god damn door and get the
hell out of my way."
Was that good enough for your princess? You hurt me, you selfish
bitch. How could you? How could you? I have wanted you for so long.
All the time I was with Hank, I wanted you! Every time I saw you
walking around the building, I wanted you! And even when you broke my
heart, I wanted you! But not any more! I don't want you any more!
I
can never forgive you after what you did! You blew it babe! I'm
not
going to give in!
Great I'm crying now! Good job Sara, just let her see how much
she
means to you. Stop it right now you big baby. STOP THOSE TEARS!
But I can't stop them; they just keep coming and coming. One
after
another they fall, rolling down my cheeks and onto her office floor.
I try to wipe them away but they manage to reappear every time. And
worst of all she is giving me that pity look. She is feeling sorry
for what she did to me, but why now? She is pulling me towards her,
probably to try and comfort me. She is raising her hands up to my
face, probably to wipe my tears away. Her lips are nearing mine,
probably to kiss me! Wait! What her lips? Kiss me!
And here it comes. The softest, most gentle feeling I have ever felt,
and on my mouth of all places. I didn't want to respond back, I
was
sure I wasn't going to respond back, but it didn't quite work
out
that way. I tried, believe me, I tried. It just felt so right. Her
mouth on my mouth, it was meant to be.
There goes my hands wrapping around her waist, and yes, those are my
fingers tugging at her shirt. My tongue has invaded her mouth, and I
feel myself being pulled into her as she collides with something. But
naturally it doesn't faze her, not one bit. She swings me around
tightly and how she did this next part, I'll never know. She
lifts me
up onto the desk and with one straddle she was on top of me, ready
for action!
Her kisses move from my lips, to my neck, and then my chest. She is
nipping at every inch of my flesh savoring the taste as she goes. Her
fingers work like magic, wasting no time with trivial details. She
removes each button of my blouse, careful as not to break contact
with my skin. Once she has my shirt off, she begins to feel her way
around my body, exploring all of the hidden regions she discovered
last night. She can't stop massaging my breasts or grinding her
body
into my left leg. She is enjoying this! Every last bit of it! What
would she do if I decided to stop? Decided to suddenly take it all
away from her. What would she think about that?
Unfortunately, that would also mean I'd loose something. I
couldn't
bare living without her touch for a moment longer. I say I am strong,
but deep down when it comes to her, I'm as weak as the next. I
need
her, I love her! And from the looks of it, she feels the same way.
For in my moment of pondering, she has managed to work fingers inside
of me.
She has found my center and wastes no time. Slowly she moves them,
rubbing my center. Back and forth slow and steady. She darts her
tongue slightly over my right ear lobe, sinking her teeth into my
delicate flesh. The feel of her hot breath near my face is enough to
send goose bumps across my body. She has no idea what she does to me.
She has no idea that in my mind, this moment, has always been my one
true fantasy. I can hardly contain it anymore.
Moans escape from my mouth, which seems to turn her on even more. She
moves her fingers a little faster, but not to fast. She wants me to
savor the moment. She wants this to count. If she only knew what I
felt, all of her doubts would be stripped away. It wouldn't
matter if
this moment lasted for one minute or a life time. The important thing
is that it's with her.
I don't know if she could sense my mind, but before I knew it she
began to speak softly into my ear.
"Sara don't worry, I'm never leaving you again. Never!
I'm yours for
a lifetime, if you'll have me? Please say you forgive me. Please
say
you love me. Say it Sara! Say you love me!"
To hear me say I forgave her, to hear me say I loved her; that was
all it took. That was all she needed, was the reassurance. She needed
to know that I forgave her and still wanted her. And I did. I have
never wanted any one more. Nor will I ever.
"I love you Catherine! I love you! Please don't stop...keep
going I'm
almost there! Don't stop!"
Her fingers were sending me flying. And before I knew it I was almost
there. My grip tightened on her body and she took that as her cue to
speed up. Our bodies moved in unison, never once breaking. I was
moving so fast, that I thought I was going to break her, but still
she kept rubbing. I felt like I was in heaven. This was getting
better with every thrust.
Up and down, up and down until I couldn't take it any more. I
needed
to cum. So I pulled her face to me and for the first time we made eye
contact. She could tell what I was saying with my eyes. She knew what
I needed and she was the only one to give it to me.
She moved her nose closer to mine, nudging it and then placing a
gentle kiss on my lips. That was her way of letting me know that I
could fall and no matter what, she would be there to catch me. And
then finally, with one last thrust and one last rub, I was released.
Collapsing on the desk the moment we finished was a given. Sensations
of pure joy filled my entire body when I realized what had just
happened, what we had just experienced. In all this time, she never
once broke eye contact with my face. She watched me every moment
leading up to the last second, when I came. I clenched my legs
tightly around her hand letting her know that I wasn't quite
ready to
let go yet. But she understood. She placed a brief kiss on my lips
and pulled me closer to her body.
It's funny how I never really considered myself to be a snuggler
until I started making love to Catherine. It was just a feeling of
wanting to be close to her that brought it out. I secretly hoped that
it would always be like this, each and every time we made love. I
never wanted anything to change. But sadly as do most things, it all
came to an end.
***********************************************************
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"Damn this stupid thing!"
"It looks like Grissom has a match on your revolver."
"Guess I had better go."
It took us less then five minutes to dress, if you count all the
little diversions we encountered on the way. We just couldn't
keep
our hands off of each other. I liked that!
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"Okay, okay Griss. I get it, I get it. I'm coming."
"Correction, you already came."
"Very funny! I mean it I have to go."
Before I exited the room, I turned around and placed a small kiss on
her forehead. She smiled at me with a look of love and admiration in
her eyes. A look I knew, that was only reserved for me. I began to
unlock the door when I felt a small tug on my elbow.
"Um Sara, I was wondering... I know that we have kind of past
this
point, but...ah, maybe if you aren't busy in this morning, you
would...like to accompany me on a breakfast date? My treat of
course."
"Why Catherine Willows, are you asking me out on a date?"
A faint blush came over her face and it took all my might to suppress
a giggle. She was obviously nervous and I wasn't making it any
easier
for her. And you know something; I was loving every minute of it!
"Well...Yes, I guess I am asking you out on a date. So how bout
it?"
"You're so cute when you're nervous. Pick me up at
8:00?"
"You got it! Oh and Sara, you forgot a button."
Those were the last words she said to me before giving me a sly wink
and a short kiss goodbye. I watched her exit her office and head
towards ballistics. I leaned against the door and watched in silence
as she slowly drifted out of sight.
I was soon thrown back in time. Back to when I first arrived in
Vegas. I had known when I started working as a CSI, I would have a
chance to meet some interesting people. But never in my wildest
dreams did I think I would find the "one." Isn't it funny
how fate
can play tricks on you? I use to think there was no one out there who
could ever truly understand me. So I spent a majority of my time
getting lost in my work. It was so much safer that way. Work never
rejected you; work never cheated on you, but work also never filled
the void of emptiness inside. And for once in my life I was starting
to understand life's plan.
It wasn't my fate to be alone, but rather to find Catherine. She
was
the reason I was sent to Vegas. She was the reason I was beginning to
feel good about myself. She was everything I have ever wanted and
more. To put it simply, she was my destiny!
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