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Dear Bocca,
I have a girlfriend who's leaving the country for a year to study in France. We've been dating 6 months, and I really like her. But I don't know if I can handle a long distance relationship. She's twenty-one years old, and I'm twenty-three. She's my second girlfriend I've ever had. Should we try to stay together, or let each other date around?
Sincerely, Young and Yearning
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Dear Young and Yearning,
Don't let her date around. If she meets another man, you're finished. You see, you're a pathetic moron and she's a slut. Consider yourself lucky to be seeing anybody. I suggest you talk her out of this trip. Convince her that France sucks, or that she is not pretty enough to walk down the streets of Paris. Tell her that a serial killer called "Jacque the Ripper" is killing American woman and leaving them in dumpsters. If she still insists on going, poke her in the eye.
Good luck Y&Y, Dear Bocca |
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