I have a girlfriend who's leaving the country for a year to study in France. We've been dating 6 months, and I really like her. But I don't know if I can handle a long distance relationship. She's twenty-one years old, and I'm twenty-three. She's my second girlfriend I've ever had. Should we try to stay together, or let each other date around?
Sincerely,
Young and Yearning
Don't let her date around. If she meets another man, you're finished. You see, you're a pathetic moron and she's a slut. Consider yourself lucky to be seeing anybody. I suggest you talk her out of this trip. Convince her that France sucks, or that she is not pretty enough to walk down the streets of Paris. Tell her that a serial killer called "Jacque the Ripper" is killing American woman and leaving them in dumpsters. If she still insists on going, poke her in the eye.
Good luck Y&Y,
Dear Bocca