Feb 25 2001

As the warriors rushed her from two directions, Xena launched herself into the air, her legs shooting out to the side, her feet catching both men in the face, propelling them backward through the air to land several feet away.

As she landed catlike on her feet, the singing of her Chakram told her it had served its purpose and was returning to her. But as she reached up to catch it, she heard from far away someone's voice. A child was insistently calling to her.

"Wake up! Wake up! It's time to eat."

As Xena slowly opened her eyes, she was looking into the face of a small, dark haired child, a girl of perhaps 4 years of age.

"Come on, Grandma! Aunt Gabby says it's time to eat."

"Yeah, come on! Mama says we can't eat until you come to the table."

Xena shifted her gaze to the child standing impatiently next to the young girl, and saw a very blond five-year old little boy.

"Yes, children, I'm coming." Xena said to them patiently. "Just give these old bones a little time to get moving."

As the two young children ran off to the thatched house some distance away, Xena slowly rose from the chair she had been dozing in, enjoying the April sun.

As she walked towards the house, flickers of pain crossed her face. The years of battle had caught up to her. Her back was a constant source of agony. How many times had it taken the brunt of her being thrown to the ground, or against some tree?

Her left knee didn't always want to take her weight, sometimes giving way, sometimes locking up.

Her right shoulder ached with arthritis -- too many years of swinging her sword, clanging against other swords, the shock traveling up her arm and settling in her shoulder.

As Xena approached the house, the door opened for her.

"Come on!" She heard Eve say, much the way Xena used to say that very thing to Gabrielle. "You spend more and more time in that old chair." Eve said, smiling at her mother.

"Yeah, I suppose I do. But it's better than doing chores." Xena answered with a smile of her own.

As they all sat around the long table and began to pass the food around, Xena watched them; loving them all.

Her eyes rested on Gabrielle, now 45 years old. Her reddish blond hair, longer now, as it was when they met, had more gray than Xena remembered, and there seemed to be more wrinkles around her eyes. Gabrielle had gotten heavier. A few pounds were left over from the weight she had gained while pregnant with her son, Perdicus. And since her legs were also giving her problems, she wasn't as active in the daily workings of the small farm they lived on.

Xena's eyes move to Perdicus, as blond as Gabrielle once was. But it was obvious he was going to be much taller than Gabrielle, taking after his father. Even at 5 years old he was as tall as boys who were 8 or 9. Watching Perdicus, Xena's memory traveled back to when he was only 6 months old. That was when he lost his father, Zaron, Gabrielle's second husband.

Gabrielle had met Zaron in Pylomus, the small town a half-day's walk from their farm. She was looking for temporary farm hands to help out with the fall harvest. Zaron was one. He ended up staying through the winter. By mid summer, he and Gabrielle were lovers. The next spring they had married. And the following spring, when Gabrielle was 40 years old, their son was born. Not wanting to hurt Zaron, she could never bring herself to tell him why she had to name her son Perdicus.

Xena's eyes next moved to Eve, who looked up and said, "Mother, you're not eating." As Xena put the piece of meat to her lips, her memory took her back 4 years, to the night Eve came home, pregnant, and ready to give birth any day.

Xena's gaze went lovingly to Cyrene, tall and dark like Eve, and Xena. As much as she loved Perdicus, Cyrene was her own granddaughter, blood of her blood.

Cyrene was fussing at Perdicus over who should get the last bit of lamb. Watching the two children together, Xena knew she was seeing the future. Perdicus and Cyrene were destined to be together, Soul Mates.

Xena glanced over to see Gabrielle looking at her. Gabrielle's eyes went to the two children and then back to Xena. She knew as well as Xena did. Soul Mates.

As the midmorning sun warmed her, Xena was roused from her nap by the sounds of the two small children running and playing and laughing. As she watched them, still half asleep, something didn't look right. But what was it?

As she looked closer, she realized what was wrong -- The little girl was blond, and the boy had dark hair. That wasn't right! Perdicus was the blond, and Cyrene was dark. Confusion ran rampant in Xena's mind. What's going on? She thought.

"No fair, Lila!" The little boy yelled at the girl. But she just laughed at him and ran on. "You can't catch me, Herodotus!"

Lila? Herodotus? Lila is Gabrielle's sister! And Herodotus was Gabrielle's father!

Then slowly it came to her, again.

Of course! Lila and Herodotus were Perdicus' and Cyrene's twins. How could she forget?

Then another thought came to Xena. How old are they? Four, five, six? Then that would make me -- what? As Xena struggled with the numbers she came up with the figure "seventy-five."

No, Xena thought. That can't be right. Can it?

As she was trying to make sense of her thoughts, Xena looked up to see Gabrielle walking toward her, leaning on Cyrene as she came.

"I thought you might like some company." Gabrielle said as they neared. "That sun just looks so inviting and warm."

"That it is." Xena replied.

"Well, I'll leave you two for now. I have to help Mother with dinner." Cyrene said as she turned back to the house. In the distance, Xena could see Perdicus, tall and strong, repairing a stone fence.

As they sat, Xena went back to her troubled thoughts. Suddenly she asked Gabrielle, "How old am I?"

Gabrielle looked at her funny for a moment, then smiled, happy that Xena never stopped surprising her. She leaned back against the tree trunk to do her own arithmetic.

"Well, let's see. The twins are almost 4, and Cyrene was about 17 when they were born. I was 40 when Cyrene was born, so I guess that makes me about 60." Gabrielle replied.

"So that makes you about 75." She said.

Xena just grunted, and was silent for a minute. Then she asked the question people have asked for ages, "Where did the time go?"

Gabrielle didn't bother to answer; knowing Xena didn't expect her to.

"Gabrielle, I am so sorry for all the times I hurt you. For all the times I doubted you. For all...."

Gabrielle put her fingers softly on Xena's lips. "Shhhh. There's nothing to be sorry for, Xena. We lived our lives, that's all we could do. We had some bad times, sure. But for all the good times we had, it was worth it, a million times over. Just rest now."

Xena closed her eyes, her breathing was irregular, not coming easily. As she watched her, Gabrielle's eyes filled with tears.

Xena was dying, there was no doubt. At 76, her body had had enough. There had been too many fights, too many injuries, just too much damage. If she had been an ordinary woman, she would have died years ago.

But she was Xena! The Warrior Princess! The Killer of Gods! The Destroyer of Nations! And the Scourge of Evil Warlords everywhere.

And she was Xena -- friend, mentor, protector, and soul mate.

She was Xena. And now she was dying.

For two days and nights Xena hovered at the edge of the Abyss. And for two days and nights Gabrielle stayed at her side, talking to Xena about their lives together, how each had changed the other, had supported the other, and had loved the other.

"Where will she go?" Lila had asked her. And Gabrielle, not really knowing, answered her as best she could.

"Eve! Cyrene! Please hurry!" Gabrielle was crying, again. "She doesn't have much time!"

The women gathered around Xena's bed. Behind them, Perdicus, Lila and Herodotus.

Xena slowly opened her eyes, fighting to focus them, wanting to see her loved ones just one more time. As their faces became clear to her, she chided them, "What's with all the tears? Did someone just die?"

"No, no one died." Gabrielle answered. "We just love you so much we can't hold it all in."

Xena squeezed Gabrielle's hand feebly, loving her. She raised her left hand, and Eve was there to hold it. One by one, Perdicus, Cyrene and the twins held her hand, kissed her lips, and whispered parting words of love.

Xena closed her eyes, knowing they would never open again on this earth.

"One more thing," Xena whispered

"Sure, anything." Gabrielle replied, choking back the tears.

"My chakram, make sure it can never fall into the wrong hands, into evil hands."

"I promise, Xena. I swear to you it will never be seen again."

Xena smiled, and haltingly said, "I...love...you...all...my...family...my...life...." Then she was silent.

While Perdicus and the twins finished Xena's funeral pyre, Gabrielle, Eve and Cyrene prepared Xena's body for her trip to the other side. They gently and lovingly washed her body and hair. They didn't speak as they wrapped her in the linen shroud. They didn't have to. Anything they could say had already been said.

When she was ready, Perdicus lifted Xena's lifeless body and carried it to the pyre, his tears staining the linen as he did. Slowly and gently he placed her on top, making sure she was comfortable.

As he backed away, Gabrielle, Eve and Cyrene took up torches and lit the funeral pyre.

Then Gabrielle heard Eve singing the Death Song she had heard Xena sing so many times. How much like Xena she sounded! Again the tears ran down Gabrielle's face. She knew she would cry forever.

As the flames swirled into the night sky, Gabrielle found herself overcome with an almost unbearable tiredness; she had to sit, if only for a moment or two. She looked around, then walked over to the old stump of a tree, many times used as a small table, or a convenient place to sit and rest.

She closed her heavy eyelids for several minutes, feeling the warmth of the fire on her face, smelling its smoke, mingled with that of Xena's remains as she was devoured by the flames, and hearing the fire's pop and crackle. She slowly opened her eyes and looked skyward, watching the smoke and sparks as they ascended to the stars.

"Goodbye." Gabrielle said softly. "You have been my friend, my sister, and my life. I shall miss you so."

Once again her eyes closed, but only for a moment. They opened again as she took another tired breath. As she searched the heavens, she thought she saw something: A form? A shape?

"Xena? Is that you? Are you there?" She asked, looking desperately for some sign of her soul mate.

Then, as the exhaustion settled over her again, she quietly, and gently said, "Xena, wait for me -- I won't be long."