[#77. This story takes place right after the episode So...Good Talk. Lorelai and Luke are upstairs in Lorelai's bed after making love and they discuss the issues that broke them apart. Rated PG ]

12 Mar 2005

I Want It All


Lorelai was comfortable, lying snugly in Luke's arms. She was just drifting up from that delicious semi-sleep dozing state that comes after making love.

As she fully woke up, it all came back to her. Rory had gone back toYale to spend time with Logan during what was left of Spring Break, and she was sitting in front of the TV, bored, lonely, and a little depressed. Then there was the knock on the door. She had no idea of who it could be, but really didn't want any company.

She opened the door and saw Luke standing there, and before she had time to react, she was in his arms and he was kissing her.

Her arms immediately went around him, and she was was kissing him as passionately as he was her.

She vaguely remembered them going upstairs, pulling at each others' clothes as they did.

But once they had fallen into her bed, everything came back with crystal clarity.

It was as if it was the first time all over again . . . the passion, the caresses, the kisses, The Magic . . . it was all there.

"What's so funny?" Luke asked.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I might have been, but you were laughing. Care to share?"

"I'm just happy . . . deliriously, wonderously happy."

"Well, that makes two of us."

"You know, as incredibly wonderful this making up is, our breaking up was just too incredibly painful. I know we've both had our share of it, but for me, this was the absolute worst it's ever been. I don't know if I could stand losing you a second time. So, how about it if we don't do it again? Ever."

"You'll get no argument from me."

They lay there together for a while.

"Luke, just so you'll know, I want it all."

"All, as in . . . ?"

"As in the Beginning, the Middle, and the End."

"Of . . . ?"

"Us. You and me. I knew things might get a little difficult sometimes. As even long as we've known each other I realized there were still going to be little problems and aggravations as things went along, but I had NO idea it would get so bad so soon."

"It WAS bad, wasn't it?"

"It was worst than bad, it was indescribably bad."

"Well, maybe . . . maybe it had to happen. Maybe it was necessary for us to find out if we were really commited to this relationship."

"But what a horrible way to find out!"

"Yes, it was. But we made it. We weathered the storm and we're together. That has to say something."

"You're right, it does. It's telling me that we can have a Middle. And I want it to last for years and years and years. And someday, maybe, there might even be a kid, or kids . . . you think? Someday?"

"I don't see why not."

"And I want us to have great Ending. I want us to be sitting side by side on the Dragonfly's porch in matching rocking chairs and holding hands as we spend our final years together."

"That sounds nice. I'd like that."

"You would?"

"Sure."

Then something came to mind.

"Say, you wouldn't be . . . proposing, would you?" He asked

Lorelai gave a small laugh.

"No, of course not. Well, not officially. Just call me an old fashioned girl, but when the time is right, when we know . . . when we feel it's right, I want to be asked, not asking."

"When the time is right, I can do that. But you realize there won't be thousands of daisies."

"Oh no! Oh God no! I don't want that! That was Max's thing, Max's Way. I don't want Max's Way. I want it Luke's Way. Whenever and wherever it happens, I want it all Luke's Way."

"Well, maybe I can do some kind of romantic something that'll make you happy."

"However you do it, I'll be happy. Trust me."

There was another pause.

"You realize we still have some serious issues facing us."

"I know we do. And will involve Rory."

"You're talking about her dad."

"Yes I am. He finally emailed her, after two weeks. He didn't even have the courage to call. And according to her, he kept saying it was all a big mistake. And the more she told me, the madder about it I got. It was unbelievable how he was trying to weasel out of what he did."

"Is she going see him?"

"She wouldn't say. I would imagine, eventually."

"What about you?"

"Never. There is no reason I can think of to ever see or talk to him again."

Luke didn't answer.

"Luke, there's something I desperately need you to know. When I went over to Christopher's that night, absolutely nothing happened. We drank and we talked, and that's all. I would never, NEVER do that to you! I swear to you on Rory's LIFE, not a single thing happened. Please, please believe me."

"I believe you."

"Thank you."

"I believed it when you told me just as he walked up. But I was mad that you kept it from me."

"I know. And you don't know how sorry I am that I did. I should have had more faith in us."

"Yes, you should have."

"But it won't happen again. I'll never keep anything like that from you."

"But we still have the Gilmores to deal with."

"Well, only one of them."

"One of them?"

"Yeah, only one. I've seen Dad. He called me about the way Rory talked to Mom last Friday night. She was still angry at her and had some not-so-nice things to say to her. Anyway, my insurance guy raised the rates on the Dragonfly again, and I asked Dad about it. So he and an insurance inspector came by and looked things over."

"Find anything?"

"Actually, it turned out very good. Dad couldn't say enough good things about the inn, and about what a good job I've done."

Luke could hear the emotion creeping into Lorelai's voice.

"He was proud of me, Luke, and he respected how hard I've worked to make it finally happen! I could just tell. Long ago I gave up the hope that he and I would have a normal father-daughter relationship. But it's almost like we're becoming friends, you know? And it feels really good."

"I'm glad to hear it. That's the way it should be."

Then Lorelai's voice got cold and hard.

"Emily Gilmore, on the other hand, can go straight to Hell as far as I'm concerned!"

"You don't mean that."

"Oh, yes I do! She is a mean, vindictive, manipulating woman. I have nothing but contempt for her."

"And if anything happened to her, you would be completely devastated."

Lorelai didn't answer for a few seconds, but when she did, her voice was low and without the hardness.

"I know."

"How about if we change the subject?"

"Oh, God, yes! Please let's do that!"

"So, what about Rory? When are you going to tell her about us?"

"Oh, man! I wish the phone was up here, I'd call her right now."

"Don't do that, it's late. She's probably asleep. Doesn't she have early classes sometimes?"

"Yale's having its spring break right now."

"So, if she's not here, then where IS she?"

"She's at Yale."

"You mean she didn't even come home? That doesn't sound like Rory."

"Oh, no, she was here. But she left this afternoon. She found out that Logan was there and off she went."
"Logan? Is that the little piss ant she was with at the wedding?"

"The very same."

"And you let her go?"

"There wasn't much I could do. Oh, sure I could have played the Broken-hearted Depressed Mom Card, and it wouldn't have been much of a stretch, but she wanted to go to be with him, so I told her it was okay."

"What do you know about this guy, anyway?"

"Not much. The first time I really saw him was at the wedding."

"I can't believe you just let her go like that."

"Luke, we both know you think that there is no one good enough for Rory. . . ."

"Damn straight there isn't!"

"But I can't be Emily. I don't want to be the kind of mother who is so controlling that she has to make sure her daughter is only with the guys she approves of. Rory has to make those decisions for herself. So I have to be supportive, and I have to let her do it all on her own, and just hope she has the good sense choose a decent guy, someone she can be happy with. It took me a long time, but I finally did. I just hope it doesn't take her as long."

"Besides," Lorelai continued, grinning seductively. "Aren't you awfully glad she ISN'T here?"

"Well, I have to admit, you do have a point there."

"I guess we should get some sleep. You've got a diner to run and I have an inn."

"I think maybe I'll let Caesar open up tomorrow. The way I've been acting lately, I'm sure the few customers I have left would prefer I wasn't there."

"So I've heard. See what happens when I'm not around to keep you happy?"

"Well, it'll never happen again . . . that 'you not being around' part."

"Good night." Lorelai said warmly as she crawled on top of him to give him a good-night kiss.

But the one kiss turned into a second as Luke put his arms around her, holding her tightly against his chest, which led to a third kiss, and a then a fourth.

Sleep would be a little while longer in coming.