1 Apr 2005

"So, you're playing hooky?" Rory asked.

"Yes, I am," Lorelai answered. "Michel was being more impossible than usual, so I decided to leave the inn with him. And Sookie and Jackson were having one of their little 'play spats' and that just got tiring, so I told them I was going to take the rest of the day off."

"So, what's the plan of the day?"

"Well, first I'm going to stop at Doose's and resupply myself with popcorn and ice cream and whatever else I see that looks good. Then I'm going to rent a few DVDs, and then go straight home and veg on the couch."

"Well, sounds like a good plan to me. Too bad Luke's out of town, you two could hang together. Have you heard from him at all?"

"Nope. But that's okay. I have a feeling he's planning something really, really special for my birthday."

"And what kind of excuse did he give you for going to New Haven?"

"Well, I know he's not happy with his meat man and wants to find a new one. . . ."

"You do know how dirty that sounds, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know, but what can you do? Besides, he's right, those cheeseburgers were getting just plain crappy."

"He'll be gone the whole week?"

"Just about. I know it won't take him but a day or two to find a new supplier, so I figure he's really setting up something extra-special. I had thought about going over there and surprising him, but if I did that, then I'd spoil the surprise for me, so I decided not to."

"Well, I've got a paper to write, so I'll let you go. Call me tomorrow and let me know how the movie marathon went."

"I'll do that. Talk to you later. Love you, Hon."

"Love you too, Mom. 'Bye."

Lorelai folded up her cell phone and put it into her purse just as she arrived at Doose's Market.

She walked in and passed by Taylor, ignoring him, still a little peeved at him for dividing up the town with his stupid ribbons.

Lorelai walked up and down the aisles, looking for just the right junk food. Then she heard someone's cell phone ringing an aisle or two over.

"Hello," she heard Miss Patty say. "Oh, hello! What? You don't say?"

Lorelai smiled. If there was gossip afoot, Miss Patty was the first to hear about it.

As she continued to shop, Lorelai tuned out the one-sided conversation until she heard, "Yes, I know he is. Lorelai said he wouldn't be back until the end of the week."

Lorelai listened more intently. Obviously, whoever Miss Patty was talking to had seen Luke.

"What? Are you sure? Really? You're positive?"

Now Lorelai was very interested.

"Are you sure it was her? Oh my! You're one hundred per cent certain it was Rachel?"

Lorelai's breath caught in her throat.

"Well, you would expect they would hug, after all, they were quite the item."

Lorelai's stomach began to knot up.

"They did? Oh, my goodness. Well, did he kiss her, or did she kiss him?"

Lorelai felt as if her heart had stopped, such was the tightness in her chest.

"To the elevator? Do you think they were going up to his room?"

Lorelai had to grab onto the shelf in front of her. She felt nauseous and it was all she could do to keep from throwing up.

"And that's all you know? Well if you see or hear anything else, you be sure to call me right away. . . . Oh, yes, I'm headed that way right now. This is too good to tell over the phone. Babette'll want the whole story, in person. . . . Okay. You be sure to call me now. 'Bye."

Lorelai had no idea of how long she stood there. Her mind was in complete chaos. But something told her she had to get out of there. And looking through blurry, tear-filled eyes she ran from the market.

As she rushed out of the door, she heard someone, maybe Taylor, yelling after her about being rude and pushy.

Lorelai rounded the corner to get away from everything and everybody. She leaned against the wall trying to catch her breath. And it seemed as if her heart had gone from not beating at all to beating hard enough to burst out of her chest. She was completely panic-stricken.

Gradually, as her breathing slowed and she began to calm down a little, she was able to think again.

The first thing she did was to get out her cell phone, but she couldn't remember Luke's cell number or his speed dial number. She had to scroll down to find it, blinking away the tears that kept her from reading the names.

Impatiently, she waited for him to answer, hoping there was nothing going on. But after four rings, her call was transferred to his voice mail. When she tried to leave a message, her throat was still to constricted to speak.

After a dozen seconds, she was barely able to squeak out, ". . . Call me?"

Lorelai walked home with her head down so she wouldn't have to look at anyone, not wanting to talk.

As soon as she got there, she called Luke's number on her house phone. But only got the voice mail again. This time her voice was stronger, but still had an unnatural tightness to it.

"Luke, it's me again. If you would, please call me just as soon as you hear this. It's . . . just call me, okay?"

Lorelai took the cordless phone with her to the couch, in case Luke called. And just sat there, trying hard NOT to imagine, to speculate, to think about what might be, or, hopefully, wasn't, going on in Luke's hotel room. Or was it Rachel's hotel, and her room?

The next thing Lorelai knew it was dark. She turned on several lamps and looked at the clock. It was after eight. She checked her messages just in case Luke had called and somehow she hadn't heard the phone. There were none.

Lorelai got out her cell phone and started to call Rory, but decided that right now, before she had all the facts, there was no reason to get Rory worried and upset over what she hoped might be nothing.

But the longer she sat, the more she knew she had to talk to somebody. Someone who might know, have an inkling of an idea, why Luke was, might be, be cheating on her. Was there something she did, or didn't do, to make him turn to another woman – to an old girlfriend? Or was it just the way men were – was it just sex and had nothing to do with feelings? But he had feelings for Rachel!

Under different, normal, circumstances, she might have called Christopher. But after what he had done, there was no way she would ever have anything to do with him again. She certainly couldn't talk to her dad. And she didn't want Sookie to know anything was wrong, not yet, anyway.

As she mentally ran through the very short list of names, there was only one that kept popping up – Max Medina.

Five times she started to call him on her cell phone, not wanting to tie up her home phone just in case Luke did call.

The sixth time, she got up the nerve and called.

"Hello."

"Max. Hi, it's me."

"Lorelai?"

"In the flesh. This isn't a bad time is it? I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"No. Not at all. Is everything all right? You sound a little strange."

"Actually, things aren't very okay at all."

"It's not Rory, is it?"

"Oh no, Rory's fine. She's at Yale and loving every minute of it."

"That's good to know, I'm glad to hear it. So if it's not Rory, then it must be you that isn't okay."

"Yeah. Look, I know this is something you probably won't be comfortable talking about, or won't want to talk about at all. And I'll totally understand if that's the case, but there was no one else I could think of to call. Are you okay with that?"

"Well, I might have a better answer for you if I actually knew what it was you were talking about."

"Oh, yes of course. I'm sorry, I'm just having a little trouble thinking straight. Okay, here's the thing – you remember Luke."

"Yes, the diner, the coffee. I remember."

"Well, he and I have been seeing each other for the past six or seven months, and it, umm, is pretty serious. Or at least I thought it was until this morning. Still with me?"

"So far, I am."

"Well, Luke is out of town, in New Haven on business. So this morning I accidentally overheard a conversation between Miss Patty -- I'm sure you remember her."

"Yes, I remember her."

"Anyway, there was this phone call between her and someone in New Haven. And apparently whoever it was saw Luke there. And he, apparently, met with this Rachel, an old girlfriend he really had a thing for, both before and after he and I met."

"Okay."

"Well, according to this person, he, or maybe it was a she, saw them kissing and then get into the elevator like they were going up to one of their rooms."

"Well, that does sound damning. And, obviously, I'm sorry this happened, but what do you want from me?"

"I - I just need someone to tell me -- it is my fault? I mean, I know I screwed things up royally with us. And I walked out on Jason when he sued my father. But I thought with Luke it was finally right, it was forever. But now . . . I really need to know -- is there something wrong with me? Is there some something I'm doing or not doing to make him . . . cheat on me?"

"Lorelai, I really wish I could help you, but you're asking the wrong person. My feelings for you are still too strong, and I cannot help you try to win back your latest boyfriend. I'm sorry you're hurting, but I just can't do this."

"That's okay, I understand. It wasn't fair to ask you something like that. I just didn't know who else to turn to. But thank you anyway. It was good to hear your voice again."

"Goodbye Lorelai."

"Goodbye."

Lorelai suddenly felt completely drained, she was both physically and mentally exhausted. She got up from the couch, went into Rory's bedroom, closed the door, fell onto the bed, and was instantly asleep. Both phones were still on the sofa.

An hour later, the house phone rang, and after four rings, the machine picked it up.

"Lorelai, are you there? If you are, pick up." There was a short pause. "I guess you're out, or busy, whatever. This is Max. Look, I'm sorry I cut you off like I did. If you still want to, give me a call, or we can meet somewhere if you'd rather. Maybe between the two of us we can figure this out, and maybe find a way to fix it. I'm not promising anything, but we can give it a shot. Just call me and let me know. 'Bye."

With the door closed, and sleeping as soundly as she was, Lorelai never heard anything.

Two hours later, the phone rang again. Again, Lorelai never heard it. And again the answering machine clicked on.

"Lorelai? This is Luke. Are you okay? Pick up if you're there." A pause. " I just got your messages and I'm leaving New Haven right now. I should be there in a few hours. If you get this, call me."

Two hours later Luke drove up in Lorelai's driveway. When he tried the front door, it was unlocked.

Walking into the living room, he yelled out for her but there was no answer. He walked into the kitchen, then climbed the stairs to check her bedroom. She was nowhere to be found.

Going back downstairs, Luke decided that she must have walked wherever she went since her Jeep was parked outside. Maybe she was at Sookie's, even though it was after one a.m. She might be spending the night there.

He started to leave when he saw the indicator light on her answering machine blinking. And deciding there was no reason to leave his message on it since he was already home, he pressed the button to start the message so it could be deleted.

Thirty seconds later, Luke was stunned at what he'd heard. He replayed it a second, and then a third time, just to be sure he actually heard what he thought he had. By now he was furious; more than furious, he was enraged!

"Son of a BITCH!" He yelled out. "DAMMIT!"

Luke picked up the answering machine and threw it across the room, breaking a lamp.

Lorelai ran out of the bedroom, startled, and a little frightened, at the yelling and the crashing sounds that woke her up.

"What's going on?" She shouted at him.

"Funny thing! I was just going to ask you the same thing!" He yelled back.

"What are you talking about? What did you do? What broke?"

"Your damned machine, that's what!"

"But why? What did it do to you?"

" 'This is Max!" " Luke mimicked. " 'Maybe we can figure this out! Maybe we can find a way to fix it! We can give it a shot!' "

"Max called?" Lorelai was stunned.

"What the Hell's going on, Lorelai? Just as soon as I leave town you're calling your old boyfriends?"

Lorelai was now getting angry.

"ME? I'm not the one meeting Rachel in some hotel!"

Now it was Luke's turn to be stunned, but only momentarily.

"You're spying on me?"

"No! Patty got a call . . . ."

"Oh, right, Miss PATTY! Like you can believe anything SHE says!"

Disgusted, Luke stormed out of the house with Lorelai right behind him.

"It wasn't her," Lorelai continued, looking down from the porch at Luke, who was at the bottom of the steps. "She got a call from some – one, who said they saw you with Rachel. And you two were hugging and kissing, and then you went up in the elevator. So what was I supposed to think?"

"You could have called me! Did THAT ever occur to you?"

"I did call! Twice! All I got was your damned voice mail."

"My phone was charging up. I left my charger here and had to buy another one."

"And I'm supposed to know that?"

There was a momentary pause in the argument.

"Are you getting all this?" Babette whispered into her her phone, standing on her own porch.

"Oh, yes," Miss Patty answered. "It's all coming in loud and clear."

"And you couldn't wait to call Max, could you?" Luke wasn't yelling quite as loud anymore, but there was still anger in his voice.

"You were with Rachel!" Lorelai accused him, ignoring the question about Max.

"Yes. We ran into each other, accidentally. I had no idea she was in New Haven. She was just passing through and . . . and we got together a couple of times, that's all."

"So, you didn't hug, and kiss, and get into the elevator?"

"Yes, we hugged. And yes, SHE kissed ME! And, yes, we did go into the elevator, because the damned restaurant was on the top floor! We went up there to eat and to talk."

"Oh."

"And so you thought that since I was cheating on you, then why not call up good old Max and have yourself a fling!" Luke was yelling again.

"NO! No, that's not why I called him. I thought there was something wrong with me! I needed someone to tell me if there was something I did or said that would make you . . . ! That's why I called him. I was trying to fix ME!"

"And it had to be Max, of all people you could have called?"

"I can't understand this fixation you have with Max while all along you were with Rachel."

"Do you want to know why I was seeing Rachel? Do you really want to know?"

Lorelai swallowed hard, afraid to say yes, but equally afraid not to.

"Yes, I want to know."

"Fine!"

Luke went over to the passenger side of his truck and brought out a flat package about eighteen inches wide and fourteen inches tall wrapped in brown paper. He brought it over to the porch into the light.

"THIS is why!"

He tore the paper off to reveal a familiar photograph in a mahogany frame.

Lorelai's hand went to her mouth as she began to sob.

"It . . . it's US!" she managed to get out.

"Yes, it us! It's the picture Rachel took of us sitting on the bench together during that stupid Founder's Day Festival. It's the only picture there is of the two of us, and I thought it might be a nice birthday present. And I was even thinking about hanging it in the diner. But you know what? To Hell with it!"

Luke threw the photograph at Lorelai's feet, shattering the glass, then stormed off to his truck.

Lorelai stooped down to pick it up, then realized Luke was leaving.

"NO!" She yelled out at him. "Oh no you don't!"

Lorelai ran down the steps and across the yard to the truck. Luke was halfway in and Lorelai pulled him back out. She then wrapped her arms around his chest and clasped her hands together.

"Lorelai, what the Hell are you doing?" He asked as he tried to free himself from her.

"I am not losing you again!" She said, her voice muffled against his shoulder.

"Will you let go?"

"NO! I don't care if we have to stand out here all night long, you are not leaving me, Luke Danes! Not again!"

Despite her death grip on him, Luke knew he could easily break free from her, but doing so would probably hurt her, maybe cause some bruising, something he didn't want to do. So they stood there together, her arms tight around his chest and his arms at his side.

Slowly, his anger faded and his arms went around her. Feeling him holding her, Lorelai relaxed her grip just a bit.

"Lorelai . . . ." he started to say, but her arms tightened again.

"NO!"

Luke kissed the top of her head softly.

"I was going to suggest we go inside. It's cold out here, and I know Babette's probably freezing to death."

"You won't leave?"

"No. I guess . . . we need . . . to talk."

Lorelai raise her head up to look at him, smiled, then slowly backed away, her hands going down to his.

"She was listening the whole time?"

"Yep, and whoever she's got on the phone."

"You can bet it's Miss Patty."

They walked back to the house and climbed the steps to go inside, stopping only long enough for Luke to pick up the photograph.

"The frame's still okay, and I can get new glass for it," he said.

Luke followed Lorelai into the kitchen, and set the framed photograph on the table as she fumbled with the coffee pot. He then walked over to her, took the pot out of her hands, set it on the counter, and put his arms around her. Once again, Lorelai's arms encircled his chest as Luke gently stroked her hair.

They stood together, holding onto each other for more than a minute, then Lorelai said, "We can't keep doing this to each other."

"I know."

"So why do we?"

"I guess that's something we need to figure out."

Luke kissed her and then went back to the table and let her continue making the coffee. As it began to brew, Lorelai started making him a cup of peppermint tea.

"Sorry about the lamp," he said.

"That's okay. It was old. I think Babette gave it to us right after we moved in here."

"I'll just add it to your birthday list."

"There's a birthday list?"

"Yes, there is."

"Does it include the things that need fixing around here like you do every year?"

"That's your list. I'm talking about my list."

"So there are two birthday lists?"

"Yep."

"Oh, I like the sound of that." She was smiling.

"I thought you might. And I guess I'll add a new answering machine to it also."

Lorelai set the two steaming cups on the table and sat down.

Neither spoke, waiting for the other.

Lorelai reached out and let her fingers brush the picture.

"It's a beautiful frame."

"I thought so."

"The picture looks bigger than I remember."

"It is. The original was 8x10. I had it blown up to 10x14."

"So, was this one of the reasons you went to New Haven?"

"No, this was an afterthought, after I ran into Rachel."

Luke knew she wanted to hear the story.

"It was purely by accident. Rachel was in New Haven about to leave for Iraq or Iran, or somewhere in the Middle East. And when I told her we were together, she remembered she still had the picture of us and asked if I wanted it. After I saw it, I got the idea of having it blown up and framed. And when that busy-body friend of Patty's saw us, Rachel had a couple of hours before her plane left and I was waiting for the framing shop to finish with it, so we went up to the restaurant for supper."

"You told her we were together?"

"Of course. You were the reason she left – because she knew I was in love with you."

"Oh. Wow. You know, come to think of it, I don't think you ever did tell me exactly why she left."

"Well, you and Max were getting pretty cozy. I think she left the same night he asked you to marry him."

"Oh, Luke, I don't know what to say."

"Nothing to say, that's just the way it was."

"Well, just so you'll know, the reason I called Max was because he was the only one I could think of who knows me well enough that maybe he'd be able to tell me what was so wrong with me to make you to turn to another woman. And I hoped he could tell me how I could make things right between us – the 'you and me' us. But, he told me he couldn't do it and he hung up. I guess he changed his mind and called back. And that must have been the message you heard."

"Lorelai, there is nothing wrong with you. You don't need fixing."

"Well, I damned sure need something. And coffee certainly isn't doing it!"

"Look, I realize I don't know everything about how relationships are supposed to work. Hell, I don't know anything! But it seems to me that we need to start thinking like a couple."

"I don't understand. I thought we were."

"No, it feels more like we're two people who are together but not really committed to being a . . . real couple. I mean, we do a lot of things together – we go out to eat, we go to movies, we talk, we argue, we make up, we make love, but we don't think like . . . ."

"Like married folks?"

"Well, kind of."

"Or like we're engaged?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"So, do we want to get engaged? Set a date? Send out invitations?"

"That's what we need to figure out."

"So, you're saying there's a chance we might not . . . make it?"

"No, I'm not saying that at all. When I told you I was all in, I meant it. Even after that crap with Christopher, I would have eventually come to my senses, and I would have come knocking on your door. Or tried to, if you still wanted me."

"Always."

"Then we need to decide just how fast we want things to move."

Lorelai stifled a yawn.

"Luke, I know this is important, but do we have to work it all out tonight? For some reason, I am suddenly very, very tired."

"No, I didn't expect us to get this settled in one night, but it IS something we need to think seriously about."

"I know that. And we will, I promise, but just not tonight. Are you staying here, or are you going back to the diner?"

"Wild horses couldn't DRAG me away!"

Lorelai smiled as she took a deep, tired breath.

"Well, I hope you just want to sleep, because I think that's just about all that's going to happen tonight."

"Just as long as we're sleeping together."

Lorelai touched the photo of them again.

"Do you have the original?"

"It's in the truck."

"Do you think you'd mind hanging that one in the diner? I'd like to put this one up here in the house somewhere."

"It's your birthday present, I'll hang it wherever you want. And I'll clean up the broken glass tomorrow morning."

Lorelai nodded as she yawned again, took Luke's hand, and they went upstairs together.