7-18 - Hay Bale Maze
Original Airdate: 17 Apr 2007
Written By Rebecca Rand Kirshner
DRAGONFLY INN
[Sookie and Michel are filling some baskets.]
MICHEL: What are you doing?
SOOKIE: What?
MICHEL: Oh, fine.
SOOKIE: Michel. Michel.
MICHEL: Michel what?
SOOKIE: You can't put your
schedules in the front of the basket. It’s blocking everything.
MICHEL: So?
SOOKIE: So it shouldn't block
everything. It doesn't look good.
MICHEL: [Laughing] Yes, it
does. I am a man of refine and renown. Aesthetic Fabian Baron once
publicly admired the way I decorated my locker at crunch.
SOOKIE: What?
MICHEL: I worked extremely
hard on these schedules, and it looks good.
SOOKIE: Yes, the schedules
look nice, okay. Lovely font choice, lovely use of bullet points, but
give me a break it’s not like you made them on an antique printing
press or something.
MICHEL: Oh! I'm sorry. Did you
make your chocolate-dipped apricots on an antique printing press?
SOOKIE: Ha ha. No, of course
not.
MICHEL: Touché. [Moves the
schedule]
SOOKIE: Ah no, that’s not a
touché. [Moves the schedule back]
MICHEL: Touché. [Moves the
schedule again]
SOOKIE: Touché. [Moves the
schedule back]
MICHEL: Tou—
[They start having a slap
fight like kids]
SOOKIE: Leave it! Leave it!
Leave it!
LORELAI: [Entering room] Hi,
guys. How are the baskets coming?
SOOKIE: Great.
MICHEL: Yeah, just great.
LORELAI: Oh, wow. Looks like
Mr. Crankypants is in his usual spring-fling funk.
MICHEL: I'm not in a funk.
LORELAI: I wasn’t talking
about you, I was talking about Mr. Crankypants. Hey, the schedule looks
good.
SOOKIE: You should see his gym
locker. Touché.
MICHEL: Touché yourself.
LORELAI: [Reading the
schedule] "Dance of the Daffodils, Bingo, sack races, pie-eating...
bird-watching"? We didn’t schedule any bird-watching, did we?
MICHEL: There was a void.
LORELAI: Huh?
MICHEL: On the schedule there
was nothing scheduled on Saturday evening. It looks ridiculous so I
wrote in bird-watching.
LORELAI: Oh, that’s clever.
Except for the fact we didn't schedule any bird-watching.
MICHEL: So?
LORELAI: So what if people
want to do some bird-watch?
MICHEL: Oh, please. No one
will want to go bird-watching.
LORELAI: How do you know?
MICHEL: Who wants to watch
birds? Why on earth would you watch a bird?
LORELAI: Oh you know what
should be on here is Hay Bale Maze.
SOOKIE: I can't believe we're
actually having a hay bale maze.
MICHEL: Oh, what is wrong with
people? Walking in hay? Don't they have lives? Don't they have
televisions and elliptical machines? What kind of weirdo wants to walk
around in a maze of hay?
LORELAI: Taylor Doose and no
one else.
LORELAI: But don't you vote on
these things in your adorable little meetings?
SOOKIE: He hoodwinked us.
LORELAI: Yeah. This year he
gave an impassioned speech about how his childhood dream was to visit a
hay-bale maze. And and he was clutching hay and crying. It was very
disconcerting but oddly moving. So we voted yes. It was a pity vote.
SOOKIE: And a hoodwinked vote.
LORELAI: And it turns out he
wasn't really crying so much as he was allergic to the hay.
MICHEL: Oh! Whatever.
SOOKIE: Michel, people stopped
saying "whatever" like two years ago.
MICHEL: Whatever. I'm outtie
5,000.
OPENING CREDITS
PARIS AND DOYLE’S APARTMENT
[Logan and Doyle having breakfast.]
PARIS: Oh. Great.
DOYLE: What’s the matter,
Babe?
PARIS: Logan, did you just
polish off a carton of milk?
LOGAN: Oh, yeah, I guess I
did. Sorry. There’s plenty more in there, though.
PARIS: Well, actually, no.
LOGAN: Really?
PARIS: Nope. There’s no milk
in here for my cereal. It’s cool. I'll just skip breakfast and suffer
the afternoon mood swings.
LOGAN: I’m sorry I could
have sworn there were like four or five cartons in there.
PARIS: Each of these milks is
here for a reason. I need the 2% for my cereal, whole milk for my tea,
half-and-half for my coffee, skim milk for cooking or baking, plus, I
like to keep lactaid on hand for Doyle.
DOYLE: Which I don't need.
Because I'm not lactose intolerant.
PARIS: You're lactose
resistant. You have a bias against lactose. You're sensitive.
DOYLE: I'm not sensitive. I
have no problem with lactose.
PARIS: There’s nothing wrong
with being sensitive. Jake Gyllenhaal is sensitive. Orlando Bloom is
sensitive.
DOYLE: Me and lactose are
cool. We're down.
LOGAN: I tell you what, I'll
replenish the 2% and keep my paws off the lactaid.
DOYLE: I don't need the
lactaid.
RORY: Good morning.
DOYLE: Me and lactose are
bros.
RORY: Glad to hear it.
PARIS: I wouldn't throw Jake
Gyllenhaal out of bed.
RORY: Also good to know.
LOGAN: Good morning, Ace.
Welcome to the party.
PARIS: FYI, there’s no 2%
milk.
RORY: Ah oh.
LOGAN: Guilty as charged. Man,
you look great. That is one smart-looking suit.
RORY: Well, let’s hope that
it does most of the talking because I keep thinking of questions that
they might ask me, and this lovely little thing keeps happening where my
mind goes completely blank. You know it’s like "Rory, what
journalists do you admire?" ah-um "What journalists do I
admire?" And nothing. It’s a blank. It’s like a snowstorm in
here. It’s all white and empty.
PARIS: Uh-oh.
LOGAN: You're gonna be great.
DOYLE: Absolutely.
PARIS: Or you'll choke. What?
It’s your first big interview. You very well may panic. I'm just
saying, don't panic if you panic.
RORY: Ah that’s so sweet,
Paris.
DOYLE: Which paper is it?
RORY: The Providence Journal
Bulletin.
DOYLE: The Pro Jo -- no
kidding? It’s a good paper. Excellent reputation. Top-notch staff.
RORY: Yeah, it could be a
really good job.
DOYLE: Oh on the downside,
word on the street is they work their cubs hard. Long hours, lots of
working lunches. And they do have a comics section.
LOGAN: What’s wrong with a
comic section?
DOYLE: Let’s just say The
New York Times does not have a comic section. Speaking of the biz, I
should hit the road here. Where the heck is my attaché case?
LOGAN: You are gonna be great.
RORY: Oh, thanks.
PARIS: I got a credit-card
statement addressed to you, Logan. Addressed to you here. No "care
of..." just you.
LOGAN: Yeah that stuff used to
go to my dad’s business manager. I had them forward it here. Hope
that’s okay.
RORY: That’s okay. Isn't it
okay?
PARIS: Yes. You're right. Of
course it’s okay.
RORY: Okay, I need to pick out
a coat. A trench coat would be too "All The President’s
Men," but my blue coat would be too "His Girl Friday."
PARIS: I'm just gonna cut to
the chase. Why are you here?
LOGAN: You're not talking
metaphysically, are you?
PARIS: Seriously, Huntzberger.
You're used to living in places with doormen and Danish furniture and
refrigerators so fancy, magnets won't stick to them. This craphole’s
smaller than the walk-in closet in your last pad. What’s the deal?
LOGAN: Well, my last pad was
not my pad, technically. My dad’s company was picking up the rent, and
since I'm no longer working with my dad’s company, they weren't so
keen on it.
PARIS: Plus, you're broke.
LOGAN: I'm not broke.
RORY: What about this? Is it
too "That Girl"?
LOGAN: You can never be too
"That Girl."
DOYLE: Man, those corn flakes
really did a number on me.
RORY: Okay, I better go catch
my train. Have a good day.
LOGAN: Good luck, ace. Knock 'em
dead.
RORY: Okay I will.
LOGAN: Call me after.
RORY: Okay, bye.
PARIS: Oh, after you're
finished with all your work, it'd be great if you could…
LOGAN: Pick up some 2%. I'm on
it.
PARIS: "Do the
dishes," I was going to say.
LOGAN: Oh, okay, sure.
PARIS: And, Logan, this
probably goes without saying, but no scrubby sponges on the Teflon pans.
LOGAN: Wouldn't dream of it.
LUKE’S APARTMENT
LUKE: Wow. What'd you do, raid
the New Mexico state library?
APRIL: I know, I know I just
couldn't anticipate what I'd be in the mood for. Would I feel like
reading Melville or McInerney? Or would I be in more of a
Native-American, interconnected short-narratives mood, in which case,
I'd go for the Louise Erdrich and some "love medicine."
LUKE: Yeah you know what I
love about you?
APRIL: My dazzling wit and
generous heart?
LUKE: The fact that you could
be in a Native-American’s interconnective short-narratives mood.
APRIL: It’s fascinating
stuff, and you know what’s funny? Growing up in New England, it’s
like you're told over and over that you live in this old place where
houses are 300 years old and there’s all this history, right?
LUKE: Right,
APRIL: Well, some of these
pueblos, like the Aztec ruins national monument, or the Casamero Pueblo
ruins -- I mean, people were living there in 1100 A.D. It’s like,
"suck it, New England."
LUKE: It’s like what?
APRIL: And actually, one of my
swim-team friends lives on the Jicarilla Apache reservation, which is
pretty fabulous.
LUKE: Fabulous, huh?
APRIL: "Fabulous" is
the new word in school.
LUKE: I see so New Mexico
doesn't seem so terrible after all, huh?
APRIL: Yeah, not so terrible.
LUKE: You know, you look good.
Grown-up. Maybe it’s the new glasses.
APRIL: Thanks. A girl can only
be called Sally Jesse so many times before she has to rethink the red
frames. Plus, I think these go better with earrings.
LUKE: With...
[April pulls her hair away
from her ear]
LUKE: Oh, look at that. You
got pierced ears.
APRIL: I basically had to.
Unadorned ears seem like a total waste when all around where I live, all
this fabulous jewelry making is going on. Oh, speaking of which.…
LUKE: What’s this?
APRIL: Open it.
LUKE: Ah. [opens the box] Oh,
wow, a bracelet.
APRIL: Navaho tradition says
that turquoise is a piece of sky that fell to earth. And the Apache used
to put little pieces of it on their arrows so that they'd aim more true.
LUKE: Well that is very sweet
of you, April. Thank you very much.
APRIL: Well? Put it on.
Let’s see what it looks like.
LUKE: [Chuckles]
APRIL: Fab-u-lous.
LUKE: Yeah, fabulous.
APRIL: Totally.
LUKE: Yeah.
DRAGONFLY INN – RECEPTION DESK
[Michel serves a customer while Lorelai is working on the computer]
MICHEL: Is that a rhetorical
question?
MR SINCLAIR: I beg your
pardon?
MICHEL: You said, "who
doesn't love the spring fling festival?" And I'm asking…
LORELAI: Because we just can't
imagine anyone who doesn't love it. Michel, will you grab their keys?
Mr. And Mrs. Sinclair, it’s so wonderful to have you back. Welcome.
MRS SINCLAIR: We've been
dreaming about the festival since the middle of January.
MR SINCLAIR: Mm-hmm. This
winter was a doozy.
KID: I got my tongue stuck to
the swing set in our backyard.
LORELAI: Wow. Really?
MRS SINCLAIR: He did. I had to
get my hair dryer and an extension cord and melt the poor thing free.
LORELAI: Well, it’s just
pony rides and funnel cakes from now on. Let me show you all our
information. [Goes to answer the phone] Oh, just excuse me one second.
[On the phone] Dragonfly inn.
RORY: [On a Train] Hey.
LORELAI: Hi, how did it go?
RORY: It went great!
LORELAI: Wow, that’s great.
Hold on a second. I’ll be right back. Michel, will you talk to Rory?
[Back to the Sinclair’s] Okay, so here’s your map.
MICHEL: Hello.
RORY: Hey, Michel. How’s it
going?
MICHEL: Middling to poor.
Where are you? I hear noise.
RORY: I'm on a train on my way
back from Providence.
MICHEL: Oh.
RORY: What?
MICHEL: I do not care for
trains.
RORY: Oh, no? I'm sorry.
MICHEL: Trains are dirty.
RORY: Well, this train doesn't
look very dirty.
MICHEL: You know what I find
particularly disgusting?
RORY: What?
MICHEL: Train tracks. They
remind me somehow of trails left behind by slugs. You know there are a
lot of slugs in the spring, you know? Oozing all over the place. Uh, I
think your mother is done now. It was nice talking to you.
LORELAI: [To the Sinclair’s]
Thank you. Have a good time. [To Rory] Hey.
RORY: So it’s spring fling
time again, huh?
LORELAI: Oh, yeah, when a
young man’s fancy turns to being totally rude. So tell me about the
interview. I want to hear everything. You walked in the door. What kind
of door? You sat in a chair. What kind of chair? Go.
RORY: I met the editor, Kate
Hessel, and she invited me in. I sat down, we started talking, and we
just had so much to talk about. It was great. It was an amazing
interview.
LORELAI: Wow! That’s great!
RORY: It was we talked about
Seymour Hersh and how he was comparing Iran to Nicaragua and the Contra
War and everything, from Alexander Haig and Watergate to the Oprah
phenomenon. And the best part was I was just being myself, you know? I
was just talking, and I forgot about impressing her.
LORELAI: But there you were,
impressing her.
RORY: Yeah and she said she'd
call me by tomorrow to let me know whether or not I got the job.
LORELAI: Wow, tomorrow?
RORY: Yes I feel that
everything’s happening so fast. I can't believe school’s almost
over. I can't believe it’s spring already.
LORELAI: Well, it is, believe
me. We are lousy with spring flingers here.
RORY: How are those spring
flingers?
LORELAI: Well you know, as
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as ever. So you gonna make it this year?
RORY: Oh I do want to come,
but…
LORELAI: Yay! Did I just
"yay" over your "but"?
RORY: But I wanted to check
with you first because I want to make sure it’s cool if I bring Logan,
too.
LORELAI: Oh. Y-yes, of course.
Gosh, I should have thought of that. I'm sorry.
RORY: Oh, no, it’s cool.
LORELAI: You can give him the
grand tour of Stars Hollow, and I'll show embarrassing pictures of you
picking your nose.
RORY: Oh, no. No baby
pictures.
LORELAI: Who said they're baby
pictures? So, um, you're bringing a guy home.
RORY: It’s not like I picked
him up at a truck stop.
LORELAI: No, no, I know.
You're bringing a suitor, a gentleman caller, home to Stars Hollow. I'm
gonna have to get out my pipe and dust off my "what are your
intentions?" cue cards.
ANNOUNCER ON TRAIN: Next stop,
Mystic. Mystic, Connecticut.
LORELAI: Listen to you on the
train.
RORY: I know. I'm in my suit.
I'm reading the paper.
LORELAI: Coming back from your
job interview.
RORY: I know I just went on an
interview for a real job in the real world.
LORELAI: Wow, I am impressed.
RORY: Thanks, Mom.
LORELAI: Seriously. I'm
impressed.
RORY: I'll see you tomorrow.
[They hang up and Rory smiles
while reading the paper]
LORELAI'S HOUSE – FRONT DOOR
[Rory and Logan enter and make their way to the living room]
RORY: Okay, here we are! This
is the entryway, or the foyer, if you're feeling fancy or French.
LOGAN: Wow.
RORY: You can just leave that
stuff here. What do you mean "wow"? When you walk into your
parents' foyer, there is a genuine-article Magritte right there and a
chandelier the size of a Volkswagen. Now, that is a foyer with a capital
"F."
LOGAN: Yeah but this is where
Rory Gilmore grew up -- the Rory Gilmore.
RORY: Hello?
LORELAI: Are you here?
RORY: No, we're really far
away screaming really loudly.
LORELAI: Ha ha ha. Hi, hi!
Welcome, welcome!
LOGAN: How you doing, Lorelai?
LORELAI: Good, good.
Apparently I say everything twice now. It’s charming. Charming.
LOGAN: Well, these are for
you. [Hands Lorelai some flowers]
LORELAI: Oh! Wow. Thank you.
LOGAN: Thank you for having
me.
LORELAI: They're beautiful.
I'll put them in a vase.
LOGAN: They're Cymbidium
orchids. They're native to the foothills of the Himalayas.
LORELAI: Well, that sounds
fancy. And they look fancy, too. Wow.
LOGAN: This is a beautiful
house.
LORELAI: Thank you. I never
know what to say when somebody says that. You don't want to agree, but
on the other hand, it feels weird to disagree and say, "no, it’s
a dump," so thank you.
LOGAN: It’s charming.
Charming.
RORY: Hey, Mom, we still get
cell reception in here, right?
LORELAI: Yeah, of course,
Honey. Why? Ooh, the job.
RORY: Yeah, she said she'd let
me know by today.
LOGAN: Today’s not over.
Today’s just starting.
LORELAI: Oh, Honey, I'm sure
she’s just busy at work, you know? Speaking of which, I should get to
work because Michel’s mental state is very precarious today.
RORY: Yeah, go. We'll be fine.
LORELAI: Okay I circled some
stuff in the paper for you, though. So you'd have stuff to do. There’s
some movies if you feel like going to the movies. And um I noticed that
the Colonial Butter Churners are having an exhibition at the Antiquarian
Society. That could be kind of funny. And um then there will be a lot to
do tomorrow with the festival and everything. There will be games and
face-painting and stuff like that...
RORY: Mom.
LORELAI: What? You've lived
here before?
RORY: Yeah I think I remember
enough to show Logan around. This is the town with the Sistine Chapel,
right?
LORELAI: Oh yeah and don't
forget to show him the Pyramids, Kitty-corner from the Wailing wall.
LOGAN: Thank you.
LORELAI: Thanks. Um so I got
you guys set up in Rory’s room, and um just make yourselves at home. I
made up the bed for you and the trundle bed, so you can do whatever you
want. I mean, bed-wise.
RORY: Okay great, that’s
great.
LORELAI: So I'll see you later
for dinner. Unless you want to have dinner alone, which is total cool.
LOGAN: Don’t be ridiculous.
RORY: We want to have dinner
with you.
LORELAI: Okay, good. Well I
have the town meeting, but I'll be home after. I will wow you with my
takeout-ordering skills.
RORY: She really is amazing.
LORELAI: There’s talk of a
show on the food network.
LOGAN: Sounds great.
LORELAI: And you have some
guest towels there.
RORY: Oh, I didn't know we had
guest towels.
LORELAI: Of course.
"Guest towels." A fancy way of saying "towels that are
clean."
RORY: Oh.
LORELAI: All right, I'll see
you later. Have fun.
RORY: Okay, bye. I'll take
that, then. [Sighing] Oh.
LOGAN: Come here.
RORY: What?
LOGAN: Why don't you come over
here and find out?
RORY: What? Here? Where the
Rory Gilmore used to sleep?
LOGAN: Hi.
RORY: Hi.
[They kiss]
STARS HOLLOW – OUTSIDE MISS PATTYS
MISS PATTY: And 4 and 5. Keep
those toes pointed. Mary, that means you. Extend and reach out. Roots
push into the soil!
[Rory and Logan walking down
the street]
RORY: And this right here --
this is the very curb where I fell off my bicycle the second time.
LOGAN: Wait, is that blood?
RORY: Yeah you joke, but it
was very traumatic, okay? I scraped up my whole face. There was a big
old scab on my nose the first two weeks of fifth grade. Oh, they called
me Bozo.
LOGAN: Bozo.
RORY: And Rudolph and Scab
Nose.
LOGAN: Oh.
RORY: [Giggles] This is the
curb where I fell off my bike the third time.
LOGAN: Oh, poor little Scab
Nose.
RORY: Yes. It’s also the
place where I decided I would never ride a bicycle again in my entire
life, or at least till the end of elementary school.
LOGAN: There should be a
plaque.
RORY: There should be. Oh and
this is Miss Patty’s dance school.
LOGAN: Any injuries incurred
here?
RORY: Only psychological ones.
LOGAN: That’s cute. Those
are some pretty avant-garde costumes there?
RORY: They are. They're bold.
It’s for the Dance of the Daffodils. There are three acts, you see. In
the first one, the bulbs dance, then they grow stalks, and then they
bloom into daffodils by the third.
LOGAN: Oh, that’s cute.
RORY: Mm-hmm.
LOGAN: And this Hay-Bale Maze
-- this is all Taylor’s idea?
RORY: Yep.
LOGAN: This is the same Taylor
who is Town Selectman and owns two businesses.
RORY: Yeah, he’s basically
the Mayor of Stars Hollow and Don Corleone all wrapped up into one.
LOGAN: That’s fascinating.
RORY: That’s fascinating?
LOGAN: I find Stars Hollow
fascinating.
RORY: You're out of your
gourd.
LOGAN: No, I'm very much in my
gourd. It’s like colonial Williamsburg with fewer knickers and tricorn
hats.
RORY: And more hay? This is
Luke’s diner.
LOGAN: Oh. When you were
younger, were you in the Dance of the Daffodils?
RORY: Maybe.
LOGAN: You were, weren't you?
RORY: Well, therein lies the
psychological injury.
LOGAN: What happened?
RORY: I didn't bloom. My
headpiece malfunctioned.
LOGAN: Poor little Scab Nose.
RORY: Yeah.
[They enter Luke’s]
LOGAN: Wow, the famous
Luke’s.
ZACH: Rory!
RORY: Oh, hey, Zach! You know
Logan.
ZACH: Sure, sure. How’s it
going, man?
LOGAN: Great I'm having a
great time.
RORY: Hey, we just saw Kwan
and Steve.
ZACH: Oh, yeah? Wait, Lane was
there, too, right?
RORY: Yeah.
LOGAN: She was there. She
looks great.
RORY: Yeah and the babies are
already growing so big.
ZACH: I know, huh? Especially
Kwan. Well, at least in the torso. He’s got this super long torso, but
Steve’s growing in the arms and legs department.
RORY: I noticed he has long
legs.
ZACH: Dude, Steve’s an
octopus, man, but Kwan’s got the torso. When it comes to torso, he’s
so on it.
[They laugh]
ZACH: Well, I got to get back
to work. You guys sit anywhere you like.
RORY: Thanks, Zach.
LOGAN: So, is this your table?
RORY: Oh, I guess they're all
kind of mine. They're each my own little kitchen table.
[Rory checks her cell phone]
LOGAN: No call?
RORY: No call.
LOGAN: Don't worry.
LUKE: Rory, hey!
RORY: Hey.
LUKE: Hey, Logan.
LOGAN: How’s it going, man?
LUKE: Good, good. So what
brings you to this neck of the woods?
RORY: Ah the Spring Fling, and
it’s my neck -- of the woods, I mean. I wanted to show Logan around.
LUKE: Well, it’s good to see
you.
RORY: Yeah you, too.
LUKE: You know April’s here
for the festival, too. She’s hanging out with her swim buddies, but I
know she'd love to see you.
RORY: Oh, great.
LUKE: You guys know what you
want, do you need a minute?
RORY: Do you want to peruse
the menu first?
LOGAN: Sure.
RORY: We'll peruse.
LUKE: Peruse away.
RORY: [Sighs and checks the
cell phone again]
LOGAN: She'll call you. Now,
put it away.
RORY: But...
LOGAN: Put it away.
RORY: Hmm. You know, it’s so
not a big deal.
LOGAN: What isn't?
RORY: Not getting this job. I
mean It’s not even my first choice. What I really want is the Reston
Fellowship. And not getting this job is just so not a big deal.
LOGAN: Okay.
RORY: Yeah, I mean, and
Providence? It’s no Manhattan.
LOGAN: That’s true, because
it’s Providence.
RORY: Right.
LUKE: [bringing water to the
table, then looks outside] What the hell?
RORY: Whoa.
LUKE: Taylor, you cannot...
[Luke rushes outside] Taylor, what the hell are you doing?
TAYLOR: Now, take it easy,
Luke.
LUKE: I am taking it easy,
Taylor.
TAYLOR: No, you're not. The
veins in your neck are starting to pop out at me.
LUKE: Why is there a giant
wall of hay right in front of my diner?!
TAYLOR: The entire town voted.
I'm just executing what the town wants.
LUKE: This is not what the
town wants. This is what you want!
[Logan and Rory watching from
their table]
LOGAN: Oh, Stars Hollow is
better than Colonial Williamsburg.
RORY: Mm-hmm.
STARS HOLLOW – TOWN SQUARE
[Lorelai and Sookie walking]
SOOKIE: So they're staying in
the trundle bed, huh?
LORELAI: Yep.
SOOKIE: So if they're all cozy
and trundly, I guess that means Logan’s out of the doghouse, huh?
LORELAI: Out of the doghouse.
Back to roaming the neighborhood.
SOOKIE: What is that tone?
LORELAI: Oh, no tone. He’s
lovely. I'm glad that they're doing well and they're back together and
that he stopped gallivanting.
SOOKIE: Gallivanting?
LORELAI: You know, gambling in
Vegas, jumping off buildings, whatever it was he was doing. Of course, I
don't love that he was doing it so recently.
SOOKIE: Sounds like Logan’s
still in somebody’s doghouse.
LORELAI: No, no, no. Logan’s
a lovely young man. He’s nice and polite and funny. He’s got that
hair, you know? The hair that could sell shampoo to a bald man.
SOOKIE: Mm-hmm.
LORELAI: Logan is a very
charming young man.
SOOKIE: I know that tone.
LORELAI: What tone?
SOOKIE: That. The sound of
repressed judgment.
LORELAI: I don't know what
you're talking about.
SOOKIE: I am talking about
last month at the book-shop bake sale when Winsen Brown came up and told
us that her daughter Maude was just signed by Ford, you know, as a baby
model, and you were like, "oh, Winsen, that’s wonderful. What a
great way for a 9-month-old to see the world." That’s the exact
same tone.
LORELAI: I don't mean to be
judgmental.
SOOKIE: I know that’s why
you're talking like you've had your jaw wired shut. [laughs]
LORELAI: No, I just... I mean,
Rory is an adult now, you know? She’s riding trains and wearing suits.
Made sense for me to have an opinion when we were talking about Jess or
Dean, but with Logan, I don't know. It’s just really not my place
anymore.
SOOKIE: I see.
LORELAI: I mean sure, I don't
love that he just did a business deal behind his father’s back and
lost millions of dollars. And I don't love that after that, he quit his
job and moved in with Rory. These are not things I love. And I'm not
crazy about the fact that, apparently, in the name of getting on his
feet, he’s writing in some sort of idea book, which is, as far as I
can tell, is just a notebook in which he writes ideas.
SOOKIE: Wait, what?
LORELAI: Yeah, right. I mean I
have a dream journal, but I don't use it as evidence of my
responsibility. Look, he’s an over coiffed, over privileged young man,
but it’s not my place.
SOOKIE: To judge.
LORELAI: Exactly.
SOOKIE: Mm-hmm.
LORELAI: Wait a minute. Where
are the booths?
SOOKIE: Where are the booths?
LORELAI: I mean, the
festival’s tomorrow. All I see is hay.
SOOKIE: A ridiculous amount of
hay.
MISS PATTYS – TOWN MEETING
[Lorelai and Sookie enter as people start to gather]
LORELAI: Huh!
SOOKIE: Wow! It’s crowded.
LORELAI: Yeah full house, huh?
APRIL: Lorelai!
LORELAI: Hey.
SOOKIE: Hey I'm gonna go find
Jackson. I'll save you a seat.
LORELAI: Okay. April, hi!
[They hug as Luke and April come over] How you guys doing?
APRIL: Oh, I'm fabulous.
LORELAI: Fabulous. So how is
New Mexico treating you? You had any interesting encounters with UFOs
lately?
APRIL: Oh, tons, but you know
what they say – “What happens in Roswell stays in Roswell.”
LORELAI: Hmm. Do they say
that?
LUKE: Well, she does.
LORELAI: Wow, someone got
their ears pierced. Glamorous.
APRIL: Thank you.
LUKE: Someone’s growing up
fast, huh?
LORELAI: No kidding.
APRIL: I can hear you guys,
you know. I'm getting our seat.
LUKE: All right I'll be right
there.
APRIL: See you later, Lorelai.
LORELAI: Bye, hon. Oh. So.…
LUKE: So, how’s the inn?
LORELAI: Good. It’s, uh,
full of spring flingers.
LUKE: Oh, I bet.
LORELAI: How’s the diner?
LUKE: Uh, same as ever. You
know.
LORELAI: Yeah.
[Gavel bangs]
TAYLOR: If everybody would
please take their seats, I'll call this meeting to order.
LORELAI: Well, I guess we
better…
LUKE: See you later.
LORELAI: Okay.
TAYLOR: Now, I am aware that a
small but vocal minority of you have expressed concern about the
progress of this year’s spring fling festival. I would like to take
this time to assure you that everything is going as planned.
[Crowd murmuring, Taylor
continues to talk.]
SOOKIE: So, how was it with
Luke?
LORELAI: Um... polite,
succinct, fine.
SOOKIE: Good.
LORELAI: Yeah.
TAYLOR: …well it is Babette, I assure you there’s nothing to worry
about.
BABETTE: But what about our
booths? We don't have our booths!
TAYLOR: Everything is under
control. Take, for instance, the hay-bale maze. It’s coming along
wonderfully.
LUKE: It’s taking over the
whole town.
TAYLOR: What do you mean?
JACKSON: There’s hay
everywhere. I haven't seen so much hay since... I have never in my life
seen so much hay.
[Crowed agrees]
TAYLOR: Would everyone please
take a handful of chill pills?
GYPSY: Where the hell is my
damn lemonade booth?
TAYLOR: You don't need to
worry about your lemonade booth.
GYPSY: Why not? The festival
is tomorrow, and I have to start squeezing my lemons, and I don't have
my equipment or my booth.
TAYLOR: You don't have to
worry about that, gypsy, because you don't need to squeeze lemons
because you don't need lemonade. Because there isn't going to be a
lemonade booth this year.
[Crowed mumbling again]
GYPSY: What?!
TAYLOR: The budget for the
lemonade booth has been reallocated to the hay-bale maze.
BABETTE: What about Morey’s
salty nuts?! How’s he supposed to have his salty nuts booth if we
don't have a lemonade booth? If people start eating salty nuts and they
don't have easy access to lemonade, their mouths will fall off.
TAYLOR: Well you don't have to
worry about that, Babette, because there’s not going to be a salty
nuts booth because the budget for the salty nuts booth has been
reallocated to the hay-bale maze.
BABETTE: What?!
[Crowd murmuring]
LORELAI: He spent the entire
budget on the hay-bale maze.
SOOKIE: No.
TAYLOR: I put the entire
budget into the hay-bale maze.
SOOKIE: No!
LORELAI: Taylor, you can't do
that. I have an inn full of guests who've come here, traveled miles,
withstood winter, who blow-dried their tongues off their swing sets so
they could get to the spring fling.
TAYLOR: Yes.
LORELAI: They expect certain
things, the traditional events -- pie-eating contests, pony rides. They
don't want just a hay-bale maze and nothing else.
TAYLOR: Feast your eyes on
this bad boy.
MICHEL: Taylor!
LUKE: That goes right up to my
diner. It’s blocking my entire diner.
BABETTE: I don't get it. Is it
a race?
TAYLOR: You people clearly
don't understand the long and rich history of mazes. Ladies and
gentlemen of stars hollow, perhaps this will help.
[Taylor uncovers someone
standing in a costume with a cow’s head]
LORELAI: Oh, my god.
GYPSY: What the hell is that?
KIRK: I am the Minotaur!
LORELAI: The weird thing is
he’s been in that head under that velvet cloth this whole time.
KIRK: Although the word
"labyrinth" is used interchangeably with "maze,"
maze scholars insist upon a distinction.
BABETTE: Hey, Kirk! What’s
with the cow’s head?
TAYLOR: Where are you people
going?
KIRK: A labyrinth is a
universal maze, a maze without branches, without choices...
LUKE: You ready?
TAYLOR: This is important. The
Minotaur is speaking.
KIRK: ...Blind alleys down
which to proceed. Now, the first maze in recorded history...
STARS HOLLOW – TOWN SQUARE
BABETTE: People are gonna miss
your salty nuts, baby. They are.
MOREY: Yeah.
[Babette, Morey, Lorelai and Sookie, stop to see a crane lifting the
gazebo.]
LORELAI: Insane.
SOOKIE: Insane.
LORELAI: Insane.
LORELAI'S HOUSE – FRONT DOOR
LORELAI: Hi, I'm home!
RORY: We're in here!
LORELAI: We got a new Thai
menu that looks kind of promising. I don't know where Jessington way is,
though… or never mind. I am -- I am shocked. I-I'm shocked to find
there’s cooking going on in here.
RORY: It is shocking, isn't
it?
LOGAN: We're making paella.
LORELAI: Paella? Who can even
spell paella, let alone make it? That smells good.
LOGAN: Can I get you wine? We
have red and white.
RORY: Yeah and in paella,
there’s chicken, sausage, and shrimp. So anything goes.
LORELAI: Uh, red, please.
RORY: How was the town
meeting?
LOGAN: Oh yeah, how was
Taylor?
RORY: Logan’s fascinated
with Taylor.
LOGAN: He’s fascinating.
LORELAI: He’s insane. He is
ripping out the gazebo with a crane.
RORY: What? What do you mean?
LORELAI: He’s ripping out
the gazebo with a crane. He thinks that it defeats the purpose of the
maze if we can still see a town landmark.
RORY: Wait. I cannot believe
that he is doing that. That gazebo has been there since Paul Revere was
a baby boy.
LORELAI: I know. So what can I
do? How can I help?
LOGAN: You can chop peppers.
LORELAI: Peppers. Those are
the -- oh, right. Hey, how do you know how to make paella?
LOGAN: Well, when I was a
junior at Exeter or -- no, sorry, Andover -- I did a semester abroad in
Spain.
LORELAI: Spain -- wow.
[Cell phone rings]
RORY: Oh! I think that’s me.
[on the phone from the living room] Hello?…
LORELAI: Um so, I heard you
had a really tough business deal. I'm sorry about that.
LOGAN: Oh, yeah, that’s the
way it goes. You know these things happen. A business is like an ocean.
You just got to surf it.
LORELAI: [Chuckles] Right. Um,
but Rory said you're working on some new ideas. How’s that going?
LOGAN: Great. Really great.
It’s an exciting time. This is the real dot-com renaissance.
Everything’s changing from the way media is sourced to the way we buy
things to what we buy. All the restrictions of the brick-and-mortar
retail mall are gonna be a thing of the past.
LORELAI: Hmm.
LOGAN: Oh, yeah, it’s way
beyond Amazon and eBay now. It’s kind of like what’s going on with
these simulation games, like "Second Life" or "World of
Warcraft." Actual currency is being exchanged for virtual goods.
LORELAI: Oh, yeah?
LOGAN: I mean theoretically, I
could make a fortune selling virtual Lightsabers or something on "Everquest
2"
LORELAI: Whatever happened to
selling encyclopedias? Not virtual enough, I guess.
LOGAN: Ideas are really my
commodity. With the experience I have and the contacts I've gained, I
really feel with the right idea, boom, I could be right back on top.
LORELAI: Hmm.
RORY: Oh, my god. I got it! I
got the job!
LORELAI: Oh, my god, Honey! I
can't believe it!
LOGAN: I can.
LORELAI: I knew you were gonna
get it.
RORY: It’s a real writing
job!
LORELAI: A real writing job!
RORY: I mean I'd have a salary
and a desk and maybe even an office. Well, not an office, but she did
say something about a desk and a salary and a 401k, and I have to tell
her yes or no by Monday. Oh my God.
LOGAN: Oh, I'm so proud of
you, Ace.
LORELAI: Oh, honey!
RORY: Someone actually wants
to pay me to write.
LORELAI: We need to celebrate.
[They each get a drink]
LOGAN: Absolutely.
LORELAI: All right, to you.
RORY: Cheers.
LORELAI: You know what this
calls for.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: Paella.
LOGAN: [Laughs]
RORY: Yes.
STARS HOLLOW – NIGHT TIME
[Lorelai, Rory and Logan walk past the hay-bale maze]
RORY: It’s a good job.
LORELAI: It is.
LOGAN: Absolutely.
RORY: It’s a really good
job. I can't really imagine living in Providence, Rhode Island. I mean I
don't think there’s a lot going on there.
LOGAN: Well, there’s Brown.
It’s a pretty cool college town.
RORY: Yeah which would be
great if I hadn't just spent the last four years in college at a college
town. It is a great paper, though. I guess that’s the part to focus
on.
LOGAN: It’s an excellent
paper.
RORY: But it’s kind of
small.
LORELAI: Well you could be the
big fish in the small pond.
RORY: Yeah which means I would
actually get to write some articles, which would be great. But I don't
know. Is it better to be a small fish in a pond where I'm gonna learn
more and have career-advancement opportunities?
LORELAI: You don't have to
decide until Monday, and between now and then, you can eat a lot of pie.
RORY: Yes, if we ever make it
to Weston’s.
LORELAI: Seriously.
LOGAN: Yeah, where is this
Weston’s of yours?
RORY: Normally, it’s not far
away, but all this hay’s blocking all the parking spots. It’s too
much hay.
LORELAI: Yeah well, we're
burning off a lot of calories, so thank goodness you ordered an extra
pie.
RORY: Two extra pies,
actually.
LORELAI: Nice!
RORY: To be quite honest, this
is one of the best jobs I could imagine getting.
LORELAI: That’s really
great.
RORY: I know, but it’s just
one of, you know? It’s not the best. It’s just... [Sighs] I don't
know. I mean, if I take this job, I'm giving up the chance at the Reston
Fellowship.
LOGAN: Which you really,
really want.
RORY: I'd be giving up The New
York Times, you know? But then, is it idiotic to give up a great job for
this chance at another job? Not even a job. The Fellowship’s only a
six-week paid internship.
LOGAN: Yeah but if the
fellowship is your dream, I don’t know I guess people should go for
their dreams.
LORELAI: Yes, Honey, I want
all your dreams to come true.
LOGAN: You got to go for it
sometimes. Screw the 401k.
LORELAI: Oh, well, not
everyone can live in that dream world.
LOGAN: It’s not in a dream
world, necessarily.
LORELAI: Yes, it is, if you're
talking about following your whims and neglecting financial security.
LOGAN: I'm not saying to
neglect financial security.
LORELAI: Okay.
LOGAN: Not at all. When you're
22, I don't think a 401k needs to be your top priority. That’s all
I’m saying.
LORELAI: Right, well, all I'm
saying is food costs money and rent costs money and a salary gives you
money, so that can be a good thing.
LOGAN: I agree. I'm aware of
the reality of money.
LORELAI: Okay.
RORY: All right you guys
figure out my future. I'm gonna go pick up these pies.
LORELAI: Okay.
LOGAN: I just got my first
credit-card statement. I'm very much aware of the reality of money.
LORELAI: You just got your
first credit-card statement?
LOGAN: Earning money is great.
It’s just not everything.
LORELAI: No, I agree.
LOGAN: And I think in this
particular situation, Rory should take the gamble.
LORELAI: The gamble? Rory’s
not a gambler, you know? She’s a thoughtful, deliberate decision
maker.
LOGAN: I know that.
LORELAI: You're a gambler, but
that’s not her.
RORY: Okay, cherry pie,
banana-cream pie, and strawberry-rhubarb pie.
LORELAI: Great!
RORY: I just figured, if we're
gonna do pie, we might as well do pie.
LOGAN: Let’s do pie.
LORELAI: Let’s do pie.
LORELAI'S HOUSE – RORY'S BEDROOM
[Late night Logan is wakes up.]
LOGAN: What you doing awake,
Ace?
RORY: Oh, I'm sorry.
LOGAN: Oh, a pro/con list.
Classic Rory Gilmore pro/con list.
RORY: There’s so many
factors!
LOGAN: Yeah.
RORY: What about all the other
newspapers that have my résumé, you know? Taking this job means
rejecting all those other possibilities. I should factor that in.
LOGAN: Yeah.
RORY: Or what about the very
real possibility that print journalism is a dying animal? I should
factor that in as a pro, because newspaper jobs might become
increasingly rare, and I should snap up what I can get, but also as a
con, because I should be careful about getting too entrenched in what
could become an anachronistic medium.
LOGAN: Mm-hmm. [Reading the
list on the laptop.] “Pro -- air quality in Providence as compared to
air quality in Manhattan. Con -- Chinese-food quality in Providence as
compared to Chinese-food quality in Manhattan.” You need to go to
sleep. [Closing the laptop]
RORY: Oh, no, but these are
pivotal hours. I mean these are the hours when I'm gonna make my
decision.
LOGAN: You need sleep, haven't
you ever heard of the expression "sleep on it"?
RORY: But…
LOGAN: We can do a pro/con
list about you doing a pro/con list, but I say we do it in the morning.
RORY: I guess I am kind of
tired.
LOGAN: I bet.
RORY: [Yawns] What are you
doing there, babe?
LOGAN: [Grunts] Just trying to
get my pants on and get some water.
RORY: Oh, yeah? Some water?
With your pants?
LOGAN: Yeah, I don't want to
go out there without pants.
RORY: You need to put a shirt
on to get water?
LOGAN: Yeah what if your
mom’s out there? I don't want her thinking I'm David Hasselhoff or
something.
RORY: She’s not gonna think
you're David Hasselhoff. Socks? Logan, she’s not gonna think anything
weird. I promise.
LOGAN: Socks without shoes
looks ridiculous. I'll be right back, sweetie.
RORY: All right, good night,
David Hasselhoff.
[Rory turns out the light,
Logan gets a glass and makes his way to the sink as Lorelai turns on the
light.]
LORELAI: Oh.
LOGAN: Oh, hey.
LORELAI: Hi.
LOGAN: I'm sorry. I didn't
wake you, did I?
LORELAI: No, I was... craving
some pie, but you know what? I'm not -- I'm not hungry.
LOGAN: I just needed some
water.
LORELAI: That’s okay.
I'll...see you in the morning.
LOGAN: Lorelai?
LORELAI: Yeah?
LOGAN: I want you to know I'm
not a gambler.
LORELAI: Okay.
LOGAN: Look, I know that Rory
tells you stuff, and you know all these things about me, like I know you
know I went to Vegas and all that, and I just I want you to know
that’s not who I am. I don't want you to be worried.
LORELAI: Well... I am worried.
I'm a mom. That’s what we do.
LOGAN: Okay well, what exactly
are you worried about?
LORELAI: Okay. I'm worried
that you're not worried enough. You take things lightly. This whole
"you got to surf the waves" attitude. "Cowabunga,
dude." I mean, you just lost millions of dollars.
LOGAN: I know. I know I did,
believe me. And I don't feel "Cowabunga, dude" inside. Believe
me, I know I made a big mistake.
LORELAI: You do?
LOGAN: Yeah. But I don't want
to act like that in front of you. I mean, for one thing, the whole
self-flagellation thing -- it’s kind of embarrassing, and I just I
want you to think well of me.
LORELAI: All right, well...
it’s good for me to know. It’s good for me to know that you know you
made a mistake.
LOGAN: I made a mistake. I
messed up. I really messed up.
LORELAI: Okay. I think
401k’s are important. I think responsibility and paying your bills and
dealing with reality is important.
LOGAN: Ah well, I'm beginning
to learn about reality. I grew up with a lot of privilege.
LORELAI: Right you had that
whole silver-spoon-in-the-mouth thing, and that’s not how I raised
Rory.
LOGAN: I know that.
LORELAI: This was not a
silver-spoon household. This was Spork City all the way.
LOGAN: I get that, and I
respect that because I just spat out a whole place setting of sterling
silver royal Danish. I left my dad’s company, I left that world
because I have my own values.
LORELAI: I understand that.
LOGAN: I thought you would
because that’s what you did. You left the world of privilege to do
things your way.
LORELAI: I guess I never
thought of it that way.
LOGAN: And you did it when you
were younger and had a baby to take care of. It was really impressive.
LORELAI: I don't need you to
be impressed by me. I just need you to know it wasn't easy.
LOGAN: I know that.
LORELAI: I didn't get anything
like "boom," you know? I worked hard for everything I got.
LOGAN: I want to work. I'm
ready to work. And I want to work hard.
LORELAI: All right, then.
LOGAN: All right, then.
LORELAI: Since we're up, do
you think we should have some pie?
LOGAN: Yeah.
LORELAI: Really?
LOGAN: Yeah.
LORELAI: You think we should
have some vanilla ice cream on it?
LOGAN: That’s my favorite. I
love vanilla ice cream.
STARS HOLLOW – TOWN SQUARE
[Piano playing upbeat tune as people run through the hay-bale maze,. A
group from the Dragonfly Inn get off a bus.]
KID: Are there any people
chasing you?
MS SINCLAIR: No, it’s just a
maze -- a maze made out of hay.
KID: And there’s no people
jumping out at you with, like, squirt guns?
MRS SINCLAIR: I don’t think
so sweetie it’s just a maze, but it’s made out of hay!
KID: So, wait a minute.
There’s no lights or fireworks? It’s really just a maze made out of
hay? What a drag.
MICHEL: You're preaching to
the choir.
LOGAN: Well, I can't believe
we're finally here at the maze.
RORY: It’s all I've dreamed
since I could dream.
LOGAN: Oh man there is just
something about being in a maze of hay. It’s so much fun!
RORY: Totally.
LOGAN: Oh man, am I glad I got
out of that waterslide park so I could come to the hay-bale maze!
LORELAI: Take it down,
Olivier.
LOGAN: Not buying the
waterslide thing?
LORELAI: Well, just keep it
real. Well, the hay-bale maze is gonna be really fun, and then
afterwards, Sookie has prepared hot dogs and funnel cakes and salty nuts
-- all the festival classics.
KID: You like hay-bale mazes?
LOGAN: Oh, yeah, I'm crazy
about them.
KID: That’s cool.
MRS SINCLAIR: Come on, let’s
go!
LORELAI: Hey, thanks.
LOGAN: No problem.
LORELAI: Wow, look at that.
You think maybe Taylor was right?
RORY: Bite your tongue.
LOGAN: That man is a genius.
BABETTE: Whoa!
LORELAI: Hi, guys.
BABETTE: That was,
"whoa!" Right, babe?
MOREY: Whoa.
LORELAI: Oh, you okay?
MOREY: The maze. Just high on
the maze.
BABETTE: [Laughs as they
leave.]
[Taylor at the entrance of the
maze.]
TAYLOR: Let’s go, people.
Keep it moving. [Sneezes] Damn allergies. [Sniffles] All right, next ten
can go. [Sniffling] Uh, no gum, no matches, no pushing, no shoving.
KIRK: No running in the maze!
TAYLOR: Oh, and if you get
lost in the maze, don't panic, just stand still, wave your hands, and
the, uh, maze guard will find you.
LORELAI: Oh I'm gonna say hi
to Sookie and Jackson. I'll be right back. [Walks over to them] Hey,
kids. Hi, you guys. Did the kids like the maze?
JACKSON: The kids loved the
maze.
SOOKIE: We loved the maze.
LORELAI: Really?
SOOKIE: [Laughs] Yeah, it’s
really fun.
LORELAI: But it has no
fireworks, no lights, no guys with squirt guns. Why is it so fun?
JACKSON: It’s just cool!
[Back to Rory and Logan]
LOGAN: You know when you were
making that pro/con list?
RORY: Yeah?
LOGAN: I kind of noticed there
was something on there about me.
RORY: Oh. Yeah. I didn't know
where to put you.
LOGAN: Yeah, I was that, I saw
you wrote "Logan," and then there were like three question
marks.
RORY: Well, there were just so
many factors. And I wasn't sure to what extent I should factor you in.
LOGAN: Well, I want you to
know I don't want you to factor me in.
RORY: Oh. Okay.
LOGAN: No. I mean... I'm not
sure exactly what I'm gonna be doing next, and I know I want to start
putting my ideas out, and I know I want to start working, but I think
you should do what you want to do, and then -- and then maybe I'll
factor you in.
RORY: Oh. You want to factor
me in.
LOGAN: Yeah. I'd like that. If
you're in Providence, maybe I'll come live in Providence.
RORY: That would be great. But
just, in general, I'd like to factor you in, too.
LOGAN: Okay. But for this one,
you make your decision based on what you want for you. You do what you
want.
RORY: Okay. You know what I
really want?
LOGAN: What’s that?
RORY: I want to go for the
Fellowship. I'm gonna say no to the Pro Jo.
LOGAN: Okay.
RORY: Yeah, I'm gonna go for
it. Okay.
TAYLOR: Okay, next group! No
gum, no matches, no pushing, no shoving. If you get lost in the maze,
wave to the man on stilts. You're good to go.
RORY: Mom, you want to come
with us?
LORELAI: Uh, no, go ahead.
[In the maze Rory and Logan
walk hand in hand, that come to a fork, look at each other, and go
right.]
LUKE'S DINER
LUKE: You got the tuna there?
APRIL: Tuna on rye, tuna on
wheat, mayo, no mayo respectively.
LUKE: [on the phone] Yeah. No.
No, delivery time hasn't changed. Yeah. No, no, no, the maze hasn't
changed anything. Okay, all right. Uh, French dip, ham and Swiss, fries,
fries, onion rings, roast beef, BLT, BLT no "B," BLT no
"T," turkey on rye, burger. Yep. No. No problem. [hangs up
phone]
ZACH: Okay.
LUKE: "Okay" what?
ZACH: Okay I've got something
to tell you.
LUKE: I don't have time for
dramatic pauses Zach.
ZACH: I've mastered the maze.
I have. At first, I thought I had to go around the maze to make the
deliveries, but, dude, it’s easier to go through the maze.
LUKE: Great, Zach.
ZACH: I know. At first, I
wrote it down, you know the path, but I don't need it because it’s all
up here, or in here. Check it out, eyes closed -- it goes left, right,
right, left, left, left, right. Wait. Left, left, right…
APRIL: Don't give it away. I am dying to go through the maze. I bet
it’s fabulous.
ZACH: It so is.
LUKE: Go.
APRIL: Go?
LUKE: GO through the maze.
APRIL: Don't you need help
here?
LUKE: No, no, go ahead. I
don't need you.
APRIL: Bye, dad.
LUKE: Have a fabulous time.
CAESAR: I got a patty-melt
burger well-done, Pastrami on rye, chili dog, and three orders of fries.
ZACH: I'm good to go, man. You
know what I'm gonna do?
LUKE: I can't begin to
imagine.
ZACH: I'm gonna go through the
maze at night, all alone, me, a blindfold. You know how I can do it?
LUKE: How’s that?
ZACH: I can smell the hay.
LUKE: We can all smell the
hay.
ZACH: No, dude. I can smell
the hay.
MAZE
[Lorelai alone finding her way, taking a few wrong turns and back
tracking, looking a little lost.]
LORELAI: Oh, god! Hey.
LUKE: Hey.
LORELAI: "Hey." Hay.
[They both laugh]
LORELAI: Oh, you got snacks.
LUKE: Yeah, well, Zach forgot
these. The hay’s kind of gone to his head. Anyway he gave me these
directions here.
LORELAI: [Gasps]
LUKE: So I just go right,
left…what?
LORELAI: What is that?
LUKE: Oh! April gave it to me.
LORELAI: You have a bracelet
on your wrist.
LUKE: She’s into jewelry.
It’s just a phase. What could I do?
LORELAI: Uh, wow!
LUKE: [Laughs] It’s just one
of these crazy phases. I was just getting used to the fact I had a
daughter. Now all of a sudden, I have a teenager. It’s wild. Time just
goes by.
LORELAI: Luke.
LUKE: Yeah.
LORELAI: I'm sorry.
LUKE: Yeah, I'm, uh -- I'm
sorry, too.
LORELAI: No, no, let me go
first.
LUKE: Okay.
LORELAI: I messed up. That
night I went to Christopher -- I'm sorry.
LUKE: Yeah.
LORELAI: I mean I never
admitted it to you that it was wrong what I did, and it was, and I'm
really sorry.
LUKE: Okay. Thanks.
LORELAI: [Sighs] I don't know
why I didn't say this before.
LUKE: Ah. You know... I'm
sorry, too, 'cause... I don't know, it’s just... now that I've had
April, it’s... I've learned a lot, and I was crazy to think that I had
to fix everything in my relationship with April before I could really be
with you. And that’s just not how you fix things. I mean things just
don't stand still. They're always changing.
LORELAI: Yeah.
LUKE: I guess I was
compartmentalizing? If that’s what you call it. I mean I should have
opened my compartments. I should have gotten your help.
LORELAI: I wanted to help.
LUKE: I know. And I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry, also, because I think I kind of used April to push you
away.
LORELAI: You did, huh?
LUKE: Yeah, I think so. I was
afraid, and... I'm so sorry.
LORELAI: It’s really okay.
LUKE: I'm glad.
LORELAI: Me too.
LUKE: Well, I got some fries
that are getting cold.
LORELAI: Oh, yeah, well, I got
to find my way out of here.
LUKE: By the way, you're
really close. Just go left, two rights, and you're out.
LORELAI: Thanks.
TROUBADOUR: [singing]
Nothing’s gonna break your heart today nothing’s gonna steal your
light away no even when the skies are turning gray…
END OF EPISODE