He got out of bed, went to the bathroom, relieved himself and splashed two handfuls of water on his face.

            Back in the bedroom he quickly dressed and was leaving his apartment before 5.

            As Matt drove to the Waffle House, a new restaurant, the Pancake Palace, caught his eye.

            For the past year he'd eaten breakfast at the Waffle House, but what the hell?  Why not try some place different?

            As he pulled into the  parking lot he noticed that they were just opening. Apparently they weren't open all night as the Waffle House was.

            He was the first customer of the day, and had his choice of tables, but went straight to the counter, where a waitress was waiting, and smiling at him.

            What a gorgeous smile!  Matt found himself smiling back. He normally wasn't all that sociable, but this woman changed that.

            They made small talk about the weather until Matt ordered.  And she stayed within conversation range until more customers started coming in.

            By the time Matt was finished eating and ready to go, Gina, according to her name tag, only had time to take his money and to remind him to come again - soon.

            It seemed to Matt that the way she said it had a more personal tone to it.  He knew he had found a new place to eat breakfast.

            After work he stopped for a cup of coffee, just to see if Gina was still working, but the morning shift left at 2 pm.

            So Matt started every day at the Pancake Palace, even on the weekends.

            He was off Saturdays and Sundays, and usually just drank coffee and didn't get around to breakfast until 9 or 10.

            Gina was off Saturdays, but she showed up anyway for the same reason Matt did.

            After breakfast they would spend the day together.  And after a few weeks, would spend Saturday nights together. Sometimes at her house, sometimes as Matt's apartment.

            Matt would pick her up after work Sunday afternoon.  And soon they were spending almost every evening together.

            At the end of the second month Matt moved into Gina's house. It was a small two bedroom bungalow, but was bigger than Matt's one bedroom apartment.

            By the time 6 months had gone by they were, occasionally, mentioning marriage, sometime in the distant future.

             Neither of them kept any real secrets from each other, although there were things that neither wanted to bring up. Some memories were too unpleasant.

            For Matt, it was his three years in Viet Nam.  He told her he was there, but never went into any detail.

            And Matt knew Gina's last couple of boyfriends had been abusive. One had slapped her around whenever he was drinking. And the other was even worse.

            But all that was in the past and they only looked forward to a wonderful future together.

            All that came to an end  on the first anniversary of their meeting.

            In celebration they decided to go into Winter Park to find a really nice restaurant and then maybe to spend the rest of the evening at a lounge.

            The dinner went fine, although Matt spent more than he expected, but it was worth it. Gina was the best thing that had ever happened to him.  And as far as he could tell, she felt about the same.

            They both felt that no two people could be more suitable for each other.  Everything worked.  They never argued.  They both made enough money so they could buy for each other.  The sex was outstanding.  Neither was jealous, nor had reason to be.

             After dinner they decided to stop at an ABC Liquors lounge. There weren't too many cars in the parking lot, so it should be just right: not too many people, but not dead inside.

            There was a 3 piece band playing, and couples dancing.  They stayed until 11 pm. and decided since both had to work the next day  that it was time to go.

            Just before they got to Matt's car, four men approached them. One asked for a light,  and when Matt told him that neither of them smoked, another of the men grabbed at Gina. Then the others grabbed Matt, punching and knocking him to the ground.

            Matt heard Gina screaming, and suddenly without warning, he was back in Viet Nam, the Viet Cong were back, and he was the VC Killer.

            All Matt's hand-to-hand training came back.

            He kicked and punched his way back to his feet.  He broke noses, dislocated shoulders, and knocked out teeth.

            But the more he fought, the more his old ways returned.

            He began to kill his attackers.  The first had his neck broken, the second, who had pulled a knife, and had it taken away from him, was stabbed in the heart.

            Matt used the same knife to cut the throat of the third.

            The fourth, who had grabbed Gina, tried to run away.  Matt threw the knife and buried it in the back of his left thigh. As he fell to the pavement, Matt landed on top of him and jerked the man's head back hard enough to break his neck also.

            Matt spun around, looking for more attackers. When he saw Gina he started for her as though she was an enemy as well.

            But as he got close to her, the fight went out of him when he recognized her.

             The police arrived a few minutes later, and were shocked at the carnage. Matt was handcuffed and put in a police car.

            They took statements from witnesses, not believing that Matt had single-handed killed the four muggers. 

            Gina, who was on the verge of hysteria, was given a sedative by one of the ambulance drivers and was taken home by the police.

            Matt spent the next day in jail.

            The following day Matt's boss bailed him out and took him home.

            Gina was at work.  As Matt waited for her to get home he was trying to think of reasons why she hadn't bailed him out the previous day.  They had enough money in their bank account.

             By the time 6 o'clock rolled around and Gina still wasn't home, Matt was starting to get worried.  She usually got off about 2, but it wasn't unusual for her to work a little longer if the lunch crowd didn't slack off. But 6 was too late.

            Matt was just about to call the restaurant when he heard Gina's car pull up.

            He couldn't tell if she was surprised to see him there, or not.  She looked at him, but didn't say anything, and walked into the kitchen and started making cooking noises.

            Matt followed her into the kitchen after a minute.  He tried to get her to explain why she didn't try to bail him out, or at least, come to see about him.

            But Gina wouldn't give him any real answers. Mostly she just said "I don't know."

            After a few minutes Matt gave up and went back into the living room and turned on the TV.

            They spent the rest of the evening not speaking, he in the living room and she at the dining room table, reading.

            After the 11 pm. news Matt went to bed.  The next morning he found Gina asleep on the couch. 

            He thought she was awake, but didn't try to talk to her.

            After he left she got up and dressed for work.

             They spent the next four days walking around each other.  Whenever he would try to talk to her she would either ignore him, or only answer by shrugging her shoulders or with a quiet yes or no.

             When Matt got home the next Friday evening Gina was there, with a deputy sheriff. She had packed his things and the deputy had a restraining order for him.

            He wasn't allowed to come within 100 yards of her, her house, or her workplace.

            Try as he might he could not get her to explain why she was doing this. And the deputy wasn't about to let him stay to try.

            Matt knew he could take out the deputy easily, but he was in enough trouble as it was, so he took his clothes and left.

             The following Monday Matt had his first court appearance. It wasn't a trial, but just a hearing to get to the bottom of the events.  Gina was also required to appear, as were several witnesses.

             After almost 6 hours of testimony, the judge determined that Matt had only defended himself, but was concerned about Matt killing the four men when it was obvious that Matt had them beaten. 

            The testimony of Matt's Veteran Representative that Matt was only doing what his country had trained him to do helped a little, but the judge wasn't entirely convinced.

            Matt was put on 5 years' probation and wasn't allowed to leave the central Florida area unless permission was given by the court. He was restricted to the counties that his truck driving job took him.  And he had to apprise the court of his address should he move.

            And he had to check in with a court appointed probationary officer once a week.

            All in all, Matt got off, he thought, fairly.

            The families of his "victims" were understandably upset, but the fact that all were wanted men, and were killed in the commission of a crime left them without much recourse.

             As they were leaving the courthouse Matt had his lawyer take a letter to Gina, asking her why she had turned on him like she did.

            After she read the letter, she went over to Matt and told him exactly why she could no longer stand to be around him.

            She was scared as Hell.  She had seen her two abusive boyfriends in the same rage she thought Matt was in. And she could no longer trust him to keep his temper; she no longer felt safe around him.  And she didn't want to take the chance that he might turn on her.

            It took almost a year, but Matt finally got over Gina. Not completely, but enough that he didn't think about her constantly, only when something would remind him of her: a song, a restaurant, one of her favorite TV shows.

            After about a year, Matt's case was reviewed, and this five-year probation was lifted, and he was, once again, a "free" man.  And Matt decided that is was time for a move, away from the Orlando area, and away from the memories. He decided to move north, but only as far as Jacksonville. It was far enough away from Gina, but still in the state. 

            He was lucky  that he was able to transfer his job. The company he drove for, Sunset Trucking Co., had a terminal on the west side of Jacksonville.  And Matt rented a small mobile home not too far from the company.

            He wasn't too unhappy about moving, although he wasn't real crazy about the city. He, basically, was a small town boy, and Jacksonville was just too spread out.  He was put on local deliveries, and he had a hard time for the first couple of months finding his way around.         

             Eventually he fell into a comfortable routine:  get up and go to work, come home and watch TV. Groceries and laundry on Saturday; more TV on Sunday.  Matt really wasn't too anxious to get out into society. And he really didn't want to get involved with another woman - there was just  too much pain and aggravation.

            Of course, it was impossible to completely stay away from women, and he met a few who worked for the company - secretaries, the dispatcher, and a couple of drivers. But he wasn't interested in any of them, and the feeling was pretty much mutual; they were friends, but that was all.

            After he had worked there for 8 or 9 months, he came home to find his trailer had been broken into. There was some vandalism, a big mess and several items taken -- his TV, the mini-stereo, some beer, and $600 he thought he had well hidden in the freezer.

            The detective sent to investigate was Lt. Monica Frazier. And despite himself, Matt found himself very attracted to her -- tall,   5'9", about Matt's height; short blond hair, slender, but with a very powerful and confident way about her.  Almost instinctively Matt knew she had had martial arts training above and beyond whatever she received at the police academy.

            And Matt thought she seemed to take more than a professional interest in him.  Even after all her questions had been asked, and all the investigating was done, she still stayed, making small talk.

            As she was finally leaving, even before he realized it, he asked her if she would like to  have dinner with him, sometime. And to his surprise, she said she would like to, gave him her home number, and told him to call her the next evening so they could finalize the details.

            Matt was not surprised that she told him she would meet him at the restaurant, Pizza Hut. Even though she was a police officer, and could probably take care of herself, it only made good sense not to let him know where she lived until she got to know him better. And Matt suspected she probably knew all about him, seeing that he had a police record.  

            If she did, she never mentioned it. Mostly Matt let her talk about herself: how she got into law enforcement, her family (father was a cop), her likes and dislikes in movies, music, books. And she touched on her black belt in Tae Kwan Do.

             After they had finished the second pitcher of beer, Matt was relaxed enough to mention that he thought she probably knew he'd had some trouble with the law. She said she didn't. She had thought about checking up on him, but didn't want to prejudge him on his past.

             He told about the parking lot fight, and the self-defense killings. But he didn't tell her how many died, nor how he was able to do it. And he mentioned the probation being lifted after a year.  She seem satisfied that he was a victim, and was harmless, but didn't understand why he'd been the one to be put on probation; it didn't seem fair. And Matt agreed.

             Monica made a mental note to look it up sometime the next week, just to see. But she never did; there was just too much other paperwork to do.

             Matt and Monica went out at least once a week. Sometimes they would manage twice, and occasionally even three times during the week, but that was rare.  They dated for almost 4 months before they slept together. 

             But neither one suggested they move in together. Each wanted their own space, both had been bitten badly, and neither was willing to make the commitment.

            Things went along pretty smoothly for another 6 months. Sometimes they would argue, but always made up. They tried to spend as much time together as they could, but Monica's job always made it harder for them. But Matt was satisfied with the few days, and nights, they had together.  

             "So what do you want to do now?" Matt was asking Monica as she finished off her second piece of peach pie,  dessert after one of their few nights of eating out.

             "I dunno know. What do you want to do?" she replied. "A movie or something?"

             "Sure, sounds okay to me.  Anything in particular you want to see?"

            "I dunno, something funny, I guess. I get kind of tired of those action/adventure movies.  Not in the mood for cops and robbers."

            "Well,  we can head over to the Mall Cineplex.  With five screens we're bound to find something to see."

            About half way to the movie theater Monica's pager went off;  she had to call in.   Matt pulled over to a phone booth so Monica could make the  call.

            "Looks like the movie's out."  She said. "There's some kind of hostage situation at Bubba's Liquors over on 45th.  You don't mind running me over there do you?  I'd just as soon not have to wait for a cruiser."

            "Sure, no problem." Matt answered.

            "When we get there, I want you to drop me off and then leave." Monica told Matt. When he started to protest, she told him, "This is a serious police matter, and you don't need to be there. You can't do anyone any good, and you could get hurt.  I'd just as soon you didn't . . . get hurt, that is."

            When she got out of the car, Monica told him again to leave, just go home until he heard from her. Of course he didn't. He drove around the corner, parked the car, and  decided to assess the situation for himself. He didn't want Monica in danger any more than she wanted him in it.

            It turned out that there were four men who had botched a hold up, and they were inside Bubba's Liquors with an unknown number of hostages. Shots had been fired, and the police were waiting for the SWAT team. 

            But Monica didn't want to wait.  She decided to go in posing as a customer.  She put her service pistol in the waistband of her jeans, behind her back.   And before any officers could stop her, she  was  already  going into the front door of Bubba's.  

            When she got inside she saw three customers on the floor, bleeding, she couldn't tell if they were still alive.  The clerk and one other woman were behind the counter, as were two of the robbers. A third was near the door leading to the back, watching the back door. And the fourth, the leader, was behind the front door. He grabbed Monica by the hair and threw her toward the counter. She acted appropriately surprised, then terrified. 

            The four robbers were trying to figure out how to get out and away.  One wanted to use the hostages as shields was they ran out either the front or back. Another wanted to use them in trade for a fast car. One wanted to kill them all, then shoot it out with the police.

            As they talked about the situation, another customer walked in. Monica heart sank when she saw it was Matt.  He, too, was put with the others.

            "God damn you!" Monica half mouthed and half whispered to Matt. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"   But Matt ignored her.         

            "How . . . Why, the hell are you here?"

            Matt still ignored her. He was taking in everything -- the hostages, the robbers, the weapons they had, the layout of the store.  If it weren't for the hostages, especially Monica, taking out the four men would have been relatively easy.

            As the minutes passed by it became apparent that the gunman who wanted to shoot everyone, and his way out, had convinced another one, and it started a heated stalemate among the four of them started.

            After a few minutes of arguing, the one with the killer intent shouted to the band's leader, "Fuck you, Man! Just Fuck YOU! Fuck Everyone!"  And he turned and shot the clerk, and the man next to him.  

            It was then that Monica drew her pistol to shoot the psycho. At the same time Matt dropped to the floor, rolled and managed to kick the legs out from under the nearest gunman to him, who was about to shoot Monica. The bullet hit high.

            Monica was able to get off three shots, and hit with all three, but they weren't enough to stop the fourth man from shooting her. She fell back with a bullet in her shoulder, and one in her midsection.  In what seemed to be slow motion, she saw Matt jump from the floor and kick another of the robbers in the face. The man's head snapped back, his nose  smashed up into his brain, killing him before he hit the floor. 

            As he landed, Matt dove toward the one he'd taken down with at first, rolled again to dodge bullets from the one who had shot Monica.  He pulled the one down between him and the shooter, and as the shooter shot his own man, Matt scooped up Monica's pistol and fired twice. The first shot went through the left eye of the man who shot Monica. The second bullet went through the throat, and severed the spine of the last man. As he fell, Matt but a bullet through his heart. "Leave No Survivors" had been permanently implanted during his years in Viet Nam.

            Matt went to Monica, and gently lifted her head and shoulders from the floor, holding her to him.

            As she labored for breath, she asked,   "How . . . how did you . . . where did you learn. . . ?"

            "I spent 3 years in Nam killing Gooks, just like that."

            "You were some kind of Green Beret, or SEAL, or something?" she asked.

            "No, neither one.  A . . . covert type of . . . organization."

            "Like Ninjas?" she asked, almost jokingly.

            "Well, almost like that.  There weren't more that a couple hundred of us. We went places we weren't supposed to be -- Cambodia, North Viet Nam. And we did things good American soldiers weren't supposed to do -- assassinations, whatever."

            As Matt was explaining, he noticed a head pop up, then disappear, looking into the store -- the SWAT team had arrived.

            He gently put Monica's pistol in her hand, to make sure her finger prints would be on it, to make sure she would get the credit for the kills. And to make sure he would be out of it except as a hostage / witness.

            As they waited for the rescue, Matt whispered to Monica, "I know I'm not much  on the romantic side, and I don't say things maybe  I should, but I really, really love you."

            "I know you do," Monica managed to say. "I love you, too.  Thanks for coming to a girl's rescue.  Nice to know there's a man she can depend on."

            When the SWAT team entered the store they found Matt cradling Monica's lifeless body. 

            It was hard for them to believe that Monica had taken out all four gunmen, but there was no other explanation.  Matt  couldn't give much of a description, he said he had hidden behind the counter when all the shooting started, and only came out to find Monica shot on the floor.

            Monica's funeral was attended by several hundred police officers from around the country.  Her immediate family  was  tended to and looked out for by the police department. And even though many knew Matt and Monica had been seeing each other, Matt was pretty much left in the back ground, which was fine with him.

            It took a couple of weeks, and several trips to the DA's office for depositions, interviews and such, but eventually the police were satisfied, as much as they could be, concerning the shootout at Bubba's, and  the heroism Monica exhibited, and died while doing it.

            Less than a month after Monica's death, Matt knew he had to go. The memories were just too painful.  

            As he packed his things, Matt kept asking himself, "Why can't I leave it there? Why does Nam keep following me? Why?"