--Routers

Invincible American armies arrived today at Fallujah where terrible atrocities were forcefully ended. Dozens of Marines, having heard that the insurgents were squashing mice and having been told in which building this cruelty was taking place, arrived on the scene. Finding insurgents squashing mice one by one and laughing at their squeaking death-knells, the Americans proceeded to waste dozens of insurgents with their automatic weapons. Many rescued mice were set free in the desert, and the victims were given a decent burial.

One Lieutenant Jenkins was quoted as having said, “We are glad to have been able to rescue the poor mice. No living creature should be tortured or killed for pleasure, and the American government is prepared to protect animal rights. I personally feel privileged and honored to have helped stop the terrorists. God bless America.”

Apparently there was some controversy when one Sergeant Clark suggested that the Marines move over into one of the other buildings of Fallujah and do something about Al Zarquarwi who was beheading reporters and civilian contractors. Although a majority of the Marines professed in a CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll that this was not quite right, proponents of stopping Al Zarquarwi were unable to achieve a majority when the issue was put to a vote.

Lieutenant Jenkins said, “Many of these civilian contractors had poor mothers who couldn’t afford to feed them. Are we going to put them through the pain and suffering of having to care for more children when they can’t even care for themselves? And what about the reporters who were born with birth defects? No one should have to go through life defective. Heck, a few of them were born because their mothers were raped. It’s just not right to force those women to care for unwanted children in circumstances like that.”

But Sergeant Clark said, “You know, something about all this just doesn’t make much sense.”

(Email dbusnipe@yahoo.com for comments, complaints, anything but spam or death threats).