Title: So Dream While Secrets of Darkness Unfold
Author: Morgana (morganalebeau@yahoo.com)
Website: http://www.oocities.org/morganalebeau/
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So Dream While Secrets of Darkness Unfold 5
By Morgana
Remy swayed on his feet, getting up for the first time after being horizontal for two long weeks. He had wanted to try earlier, but Nathaniel had told him no and it hadn't been up for discussion, so Remy had given in. Having someone to fuss over him felt odd. Yes, Jean-Luc and Tante had fussed over him, but this felt different somehow. He had always thought that they had loved him because of his unfortunate childhood. It had always felt like affection mixed in with pity. Things felt different with Nathaniel.
Nathaniel knew nothing about the Antiquary or his time on the streets. Nathaniel only knew that he was a mutant from the future and that Sinister had ruined his life, but there was no pity mixed in with Nathaniel's feelings. At times, he felt something akin to admiration in Nathaniel's feelings for him and that baffled him. He had done nothing to make the man proud of him.
"Careful now, Remy," said Essex and he caught Remy as the younger man threatened to lose his balance. "Maybe it's still too early for you to try." Worry clearly showed on his face.
And Remy wondered about that, the worry. When he had been feverish he had unwillingly voiced his surprise at Essex' character. He had never expected to like the man! "Non, let me try! I don't wanna be confined to bed any longer!" The bed rest was slowly driving him insane. He needed to be up and about.
"We'll give in one try," decreed Nathaniel. He wrapped an arm around the younger man and steadied Remy as they slowly progressed to the opposite corner of the room. Studying Remy's face, he noticed the pain shining from the red on black eyes, but the pain seemed tolerable. "I'll allow you to leave your bed for two hours each day, no longer!"
Remy wanted to object, but Essex' expression told him it would be futile. "What about Apocalypse?"
"I haven't seen him or heard from him," said Essex honestly. "I don't know what his plans are, but we'll be ready for him."
"We can never take him on. Our only option is to escape when he attacks again."
Nathaniel nodded once. "But for now we shall concentrate on your recovery. Let's head back for the bed."
"My two hours ain't up yet."
"You're stubborn!" Nathaniel smiled in spite of Remy's condition. He had no doubt the younger man would make a complete recovery with a determination like that!
"Can't we leave the lab?" The truth was it still reminded him too much of being at Sinister's lab. He would prefer to move upstairs, but wasn't sure Essex was ready yet to face reality; Rebecca and Adam's empty rooms, the dining room where they used to eat... He caught an echo of emotional discomfort from Nathaniel and regretted voicing his request.
"Yes, we can," said Nathaniel unexpectedly. "You would be more comfortable in a proper bed than lying on the exam table..." Moving upstairs had occurred to him before but he feared the ghosts that awaited him.
"Nathaniel..." Remy halted and waited for the older man to look at him. "We don't have to..."
"No," said Nathaniel, forcing himself to smile. "It's time I moved on... I can't hide here for the rest of my life." He guided Remy to the doorway and helped him climb the stairs. Once they had reached the living room Remy was panting softly and sweat covered his brow. "Why don't you lie down on the sofa for a moment? I will check the guest room while you rest."
Remy hated to admit it, but he needed to rest and he lay down slowly. Looking about, his glance was drawn toward a painting of Rebecca, hanging above the fireplace. His expression was calm and gentle and he wished he had been able to save her and Margaret.
Nathaniel fled the living room and practically ran upstairs. He passed by their bedroom and banished all thoughts of Rebecca out of his mind. The losses he had suffered were something he had to live with.
He started a fire in the guestroom and put fresh sheets on the bed. Yes, Remy would be more comfortable here than in the lab now that he was no longer critical. And I could do with a good night's sleep as well. But he refused to sleep in the bed he used to share with Rebecca. He would take the other guestroom, opposite Remy's.
He descended the stairs and returned to the living room where he found Remy dozing. "Don't go to sleep yet. You wanted a bed, remember?"
Remy smiled pleased. "Oui, a bed..."
Nathaniel gently helped Remy sit upright and then folded his arm around the younger man's waist. Climbing the stairs took them long minutes, but in the end he lowered Remy on to the bed and tucked him in.
Remy's eyes sparkled, seeing the fire, which spread a comfortable warmth throughout the room. He watched as Nathaniel drew the curtains, trying to keep the night's cold outside. The scene reminded him of Jean-Luc tucking him in for the night. "Merci..."
Nathaniel smiled and pulled up a chair. He had no desire to leave Remy and seek out the loneliness of the other guestroom. Remy's company provided him with a most welcome distraction. "I never thanked you for giving me the benefit of the doubt. It would have been very easy for you to look the other way when those burglars attacked me while I was following you. Yet, you came to my defense."
Remy shrugged carefully. "I couldn't let you die... Can't let anyone die like that." Pressing deeper in to the comfort of the mattress, he felt oddly safe. "I'm glad I helped you..."
Nathaniel raised his feet, rested them on the side of the bed and watched Remy fall asleep again. This time he followed the younger man in to the land of sleep.
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Remy smiled, waking up after a refreshing sleep. Nathaniel was still asleep in the chair, and couldn't be comfortable like that. Why hadn't Essex gone to his own bed to sleep? Why stay?
Remy focused on his own feelings. What was happening between Essex and he? It almost felt like a bond had formed and the only thing coming close to what he was feeling now was bonding with Jean-Luc and it baffled him that he was starting to trust Nathaniel Essex.
Feeling too warm, he pushed down the blankets and he managed to sit upright. He was hungry and thirsty, but he didn't want to wake Nathaniel; the man deserved some sleep as well. Maybe he could get something to drink on his own. He swung his feet on to the floor and was relieved when no pain stung his chest.
Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet. He managed to hold on to his balance and he made his way in to the adjoining bathroom. He splashed some cool water on to his face and drank a few sips. Against all odds, he made it back in to the bedroom, but only to find Essex awake and glaring at him. "What?"
"You should have woken me! You could have taken a fall!" Essex rose from the chair and helped Remy back to his bed. "If that wounds opens we're in trouble, Remy. Please be careful."
Remy nodded once. "I'll be careful." His heart felt strangely warmed by Nathaniel's concern.
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A week later Remy was finally allowed to go outside for the first time since Apocalypse had injured him. He still felt weak and Nathaniel insisted he accompanied the younger man. Wrapped up in a warm coat and shawl, Remy was led outside by the older man. Nathaniel's hand rested at the small of his back, making sure he wouldn't slip on the wet pavement. It had stopped to rain for the moment and they made their way to a small restaurant.
"I still have to get used to this time and place," mumbled Remy. "Everything's so different in my time."
Nathaniel understood. During the last week Remy had told him a lot about his life in Westchester. He still disliked the X-Men for judging Remy and he secretly hoped that the younger man would stay in this time. There seemed little reason for Remy to want to return to the future. As far as he could tell, everyone Remy had ever trusted in had forsaken him and the young Cajun had been truly lonely at the mansion. "I hope you're hungry."
"Oui, I am..." Remy's nose twitched as Nathaniel opened the door. Smells and scents from the kitchen floated through the restaurant, making his stomach growl. They sat down at a table at the back and Nathaniel ordered tea for the both of them.
"They're looking at you," whispered Remy. The tea had arrived by now and he warmed his cold hands on the hot mug.
"They know about Rebecca. While you were resting these last few weeks I had many visitors. Even the constable dropped by to question me." Nathaniel had lied to the police, telling them that Rebecca had died at his home during childbirth. He had left out her journey to the graveyard and her return home. Fortunately the constable hadn't questioned him further. His excellent reputation had saved him. "I'm a widower, Remy... I see pity and sympathy in their eyes. I'm the doctor who couldn't save his family."
Remy swallowed hard. He knew guilt was eating at Nathaniel, but wasn't sure Essex wanted to talk about it. "You realized your mistakes. Rebecca would be proud of you, knowing you resisted Apocalypse."
"That's probably true, but that doesn't bring her back. Her death was so unnecessary."
Remy moistened his lips, feeling nervous to discuss this in a public place. "Her death made you realize your mistakes." He searched for the right words, but couldn't find them. "She named you Sinister and you took that lesson to heart... Sometimes there are no second chances and you have to make the best of it anyway."
Nathaniel thanked the waiter when he brought their orders, but he merely shoved his food around on the plate. He had lost all appetite. "I'm a lonely man now. A man without a family. Why should I continue to struggle?"
"Nathaniel, I have no family left either... Jean-Luc and Tante are out of my reach and... and I'm alone as well. The only one I have is you."
Nathaniel suddenly smiled triumphantly. "We could be each other's family..."
Remy's eyes widened. "Did you really say...?"
"I had a son once. Adam was a smart boy and I envisioned a brilliant future for him; a career as a accomplished scientist... But he was lacking in the area of social skills. Due to his mutation he mostly stayed inside while Rebecca and I taught him. Now I seem to have been given a second chance... Remy, I need a family; someone who I can look after and it seems to me you need a family as well."
Remy stared at Nathaniel in disbelief. "Are you saying what I think you're saying? You wanna 'adopt' me?"
"Having a son like you would make me a proud man." Nathaniel finally took his first bite; his appetite was returning. "At least until you return to your own time. Give me the pleasure of having you for a son."
Remy felt completely speechless. He had never expected anything like this! "I don't know..." Jean-Luc had accepted him as his flesh and blood, but all the others that had shown interest in him, had only been interested in his looks and had eventually manipulated him in to their beds. But Nathaniel wasn't like them; his empathy told him Essex was sincere.
"Give me a chance to prove to you that I'm not the evil monster you thought I was. I realize Sinister hurt you, but I'm not like him." Nathaniel waited for Remy's decision, hoping the young man would give him a second chance.
Being honest with himself Remy couldn't deny needing someone just as Essex needed someone. He hated solitude and his empathy craved human contact, which was what Nathaniel was offering him. Looking at the man opposite him, he realized that Nathaniel was old enough to be his father. In a strange way, Nathaniel's suggestion made sense.
"The Manor is too big for one man alone," said Essex, trying to convince Remy. "You could help out at the hospital, help the sick and wounded. I could teach you all I know about medicine. We could make a difference."
"I ain't no good as a nurse..." said Remy with a faint smile on his face.
"I'm sure we can find more suitable work for you." Nathaniel held his breath. "What is your answer, Remy?"
"I guess we can try..." Remy shrugged. "I never saw this coming..."
"You made the right decision," said Nathaniel relieved. "I'll contact my solicitor and change my will. I don't want you to be forced to leave the Manor should Apocalypse get to me."
"I can take care of myself," said Remy quickly. "I'm a trained thief, remember?" It still surprised him that he had confined his history to Nathaniel.
"I don't want you to get in to trouble with the police." Nathaniel signaled Remy to start eating as well. "Leave the details of our arrangement to me."
Remy nodded once. "I hope you know what you're doing. I'm a lot of trouble."
Nathaniel grinned. "And I don't attract trouble?"
"Oui, you're even worse than me. You defied Apocalypse... You know he will never leave you alone?" Apocalypse's shadow hung over their heads like the sword of Damocles.
"Remy, I refuse to let Apocalypse ruin our lives. Maybe he got distracted, maybe he doesn't think we're important enough to deal with right now. Who knows, maybe we'll find out in the future..."
"You're right..." admitted Remy. He took hold of his fork and began to eat. Knowing he had found companionship in this time was encouraging.
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Hours became days, days turned into weeks and weeks made up months. Time passed by, almost unnoticed, as Remy and Nathaniel became friends, more than friends, companions. Nathaniel continued to work at the hospital, and his reputation as a well skilled doctor grew, and his patients now called him compassionate as well.
Accompanied by Remy, Nathaniel ventured in to the slums of London, treating the poor who had no money to seek help at the hospital. Remy acted as his bodyguard during those times, keeping the thugs at a distance and giving Nathaniel a chance to see the sick.
Their companionship and friendship grew over the years and they felt comfortable with each other, and for the first Remy experienced what a true bond was all about. When he was ill, Nathaniel took care of him and when Nathaniel caught a cold, Remy was there to nurse him back to health. They became well known all around London and were always welcome at parties.
Remy, sitting in a rocking chair near the fire, looked up from the London Times and met Nathaniel's eyes. "You're restless tonight. Is anything wrong?"
Nathaniel paced the living room, ignoring Remy's question for now.
Remy placed aside the newspaper and rose to his feet. "Nathaniel?" He rested a reassuring hand on the older man's shoulder. During the last few years Nathaniel had become an open book to him. Something deeply troubled Nathaniel.
"Do you know what day it is today?" Nathaniel felt old today. Looking in to red on black eyes he accepted Remy's support. "It's been five years since Rebecca and Margaret died... on this very day."
Remy's eyes grew watered. They had talked a lot about Nathaniel's feelings of guilt and regret and although he reassured the older man that Rebecca would be proud of him, Nathaniel still allowed guilt to eat at him. "I didn't realize it was today..." He gently squeezed Nathaniel's shoulder. To his surprise he had grown fond of Nathaniel and felt thankful that the older man had taken a parental role. He wasn't sure he could have coped with Essex making sexual advances. "Would you like to visit the graveyard? Maybe you will find comfort in being close to them."
Nathaniel wiped away the single tear that escaped from his eyes. "Yes, I would like that. Will you accompany me? I don't want to be alone tonight."
Remy nodded. "Oui, I wouldn't let you go alone anyway. I'll fetch our coats. It's cold outside." His empathy no longer blocked Essex' emotions, almost seeing them as a part of him. He handed Nathaniel his coat and slipped in to his own. They had made this trip every year, always on the same day, but this year it had slipped his mind. He should have known, should have remembered!
Eager to make up for his mistake, he wrapped an arm around the older man's shoulder and together they faced the chilly wind. As they made their way to the graveyard, the wind gained in strength and rain beat down on them and the weather brought back the memories of Rebecca entering the Manor, drenched and cold.
He felt a similar realization from Nathaniel and gently probed Nathaniel's feelings. The other man was drowning in memories. "Don't do this to yourself, mon ami. You were played by En Sabah Nur and he lured you away from Rebecca by promising you knowledge and power. You only wanted to bring back Adam..."
"I made terrible mistakes and no matter how many years I'll spend atoning for it, it will never be enough." Nathaniel put up the collar of his coat and struggled against the fierce wind. They passed the gate and headed for the marble tomb.
Remy stayed at Nathaniel's side, even trying to soothe him empathically. The bond that had formed between them helped, but still there was a part of Nathaniel that was private, that he couldn't reach. He suspected Nathaniel was hiding his worst pain from him, trying to spare the empath his terrible inner torment.
Nathaniel uncovered the key and unlocked the tomb's door. They quickly fled inside when lightning pierced the sky. Remy remained standing at the doorway, giving Nathaniel the privacy he needed in order to mourn his loved ones. He tried to hide in the cocoon of shawls wrapped around his face, but suddenly the older man reached for him. Remy took Nathaniel's hand in his and gave the older man all the support he needed.
"I regret my mistakes, Rebecca. I regret trying to bring back Adam. I regret driving you and Margaret in to Death's hands. It was never my intention. I bettered my life, at least I am trying to make a positive impact on people's life and Remy's been a great support. You liked him as well... You would be proud of us."
Remy swallowed past the lump in his throat. He hadn't fully realized how deep the connection ran between them. Nathaniel's feelings were mixed with his and he clung to the other man's hand with a vengeance, not letting Nathaniel drown in his guilt once more. "We should leave now..."
Nathaniel nodded once. "You're right, but a part of my heart will always remain here."
"You have a lot left to live for..."
Nathaniel looked Remy in the eyes. "I know that. You pulled me through the worst pain and I couldn't care more for you if you truly were my flesh and blood. You showed me companionship, friendship, and comfort. You supported me when I ventured out in to the slums to help the poor. I love you like a son, Remy."
Remy actually blushed. Jean-Luc had made him feel special as well, but back then he had been a child. Now he was being praised for being a man.
Nathaniel felt some of Remy's confusion through the connection and steered him outside. At first the tomb had presented him with some comfort, knowing his loved ones rested here, but now he desired the open space and looking toward the future.
The night had darkened; heavy clouds covered the moon and the few stars that lit the sky had little strength to illuminate their surroundings.
"Are we heading back home?" asked Remy, eager to leave the dead to their peace.
"Yes, home..." Nathaniel enjoyed the prospect of spending the rest of the evening discussing arts, politics and philosophy with Remy. He had been delighted when he had realized that Remy had received an excellent education as a youngster.
The wind nearly knocked them off their feet and Remy hissed. Something felt wrong. His instincts, almost lured in to sleep after five years of peace, kicked in, warning him. "Stop..." He pulled at Nathaniel's sleeve.
Nathaniel had learned to trust Remy and halted at once. "What's wrong?"
Remy cocked his head. His empathy was picking up on something... An overwhelming presence, evil and eternally powerful. He gasped, realizing who was close. "Apocalypse..."
Nathaniel looked about. "Are you sure? He left us alone for five years, why return now?"
"Time means nothing to him, mon ami..." Remy cursed. "Merde, why did I leave my bo staff at the Manor? Not that it would make a difference, but the odds are already against us."
"What do we do?" Nathaniel now felt the evil presence as well.
Remy shook his head. "I don't know... Make a run for it!"
Suddenly the trees behind them exploded in a bright red light. "Run, mon ami, he's here!" Remy pushed Nathaniel forward, quickly ripping off leaves and small branches which he could charge with kinetic energy. Who was he trying to fool? Apocalypse could crush them within seconds! They were no match for the ancient mutant!
Apocalypse appeared in front of them, raised a hand and another red explosion shook the earth beneath their feet. Remy's heart contracted with dread. This time there was no escape, no way out.
Nathaniel had realized the same thing. Apocalypse wants me... Maybe I can distract him so Remy can get away... He grabbed Remy's wrist, pulled him close and looked deeply in to the Cajun's eyes. "Run, don't pay any attention to what I am doing. I want you to get away. I want you to live. Now run, damn it!"
Remy was suddenly pushed forward and stared in horror at Nathaniel who turned around and faced Apocalypse. "Non, don't do that!" He couldn't allow Nathaniel to sacrifice himself! "Non!"
Nathaniel glared at him and used his telepathy to get his point across. Run, you fool! Apocalypse might forget about you when he has taken his revenge on me. Don't let me make this sacrifice in vain. Run!
I can't! Forgive me, but I can't leave you to face him alone! Remy's eyes watered. Once you're gone there's nothing left for me. I couldn't turn my back on you five years ago and I can't do it now, mon ami.
Nathaniel cursed angrily, hearing Remy's answer. Pretending to no longer care about the younger man, he glared at Apocalypse who now stood in front of him and he felt like David facing the giant. If only he had some sort of weapon! "What do you want?"
Apocalypse laughed at Essex' boldness. "We have unfinished business, Essex. I offer you one last chance to join me. Support my cause, gain incredible knowledge and become Mister Sinister. It is your destiny."
"Never! I won't give up my emotions! I'd become a monster!" Nathaniel raised a hand, which turned in to a tight fist. "If I could I would fight you with my bare hands."
"You're no match for me, Essex," laughed Apocalypse.
Remy had finally covered the distance between them and now joined Nathaniel, ignoring the anger that radiated from the other man. "Forgive me, but I can't let you die alone."
Nathaniel shook his head. "Your loyalty will get you killed."
Apocalypse watched them closely. "You won't join me then, Essex? Do you realize you chose death?"
"Yes, I know you will kill me..." Apocalypse couldn't afford to let him live now that he had denied the powerful mutant. "But let Remy go. He has nothing do with this."
Apocalypse growled. "Nothing to do with this? He is the one who crossed my plans. He will suffer a horrible death!"
Nathaniel grabbed Remy's arm and pulled the younger man close. "I wish I could have spared you this fate."
"I chose it," reminded Remy Nathaniel. He refused to close his eyes, watching Apocalypse's anger rise until the giant reached for them. Together they stood, facing the ultimate evil, expecting to die any moment now, but instead of being hit by Apocalypse, they were thrown in to darkness.
Remy immediately grabbed Nathaniel's shoulders, holding the older man close. The darkness felt familiar... It had felt like this when he had traveled forward in time...
Remy, what's happening? Are we dead?
Non, Nathaniel, we're traveling in time... Don't know why, mon ami.
Do you think we're heading back to your time?
I hope so. In that case we might have a chance against Apocalypse. The X-Men might be able to distract him long enough for us to get away.
Nathaniel closed his eyes, feeling nauseous as darkness unfolded him. Remy managed to stay conscious, amazed that he had been pulled back at the exact moment when Apocalypse had moved in for the kill. But this time he wasn't traveling through time alone. This time Nathaniel Essex was traveling with him...