Title: Chrysalis

Author: Morgana (morganalebeau@yahoo.com)

Website: http://www.oocities.org/morganalebeau/

Rating: NC-17

Pairing/main characters: Gambit/Chamber

Series/Sequel: Sequel to Damaged, complete.

Summary: Slash. Jono and Remy explore the extent of their love and Jono learns how to control his powers. The team is reunited and Remy has to face Rogue.

Disclaimer: Gambit and X-Men is (c)copyright of Marvel Comics. No copyright infringement is intended.

Date: November 2001

Archive/distribution: Yes, just drop me a note telling me where you're archiving it.

Warning: Slash, alternate universe.

Notes: If you want to see the drawing that inspired me to write this story go to http://rain.surrealm.org/ and click on slash stories where you'll see a great drawing by Vireyda.

________________________________________________

 

Chrysalis 1

By Morgana

 

Chapter One

Logan was pacing Bobby's room, blaming himself from letting things spin out of control. He should have told Bobby 'no' after they'd made love that second time, but once Bobby had realized that he was still hard, his lover had insisted on doing it again... and again. After the fourth time, Bobby had been exhausted and his eyes had turned big, seeing that Logan was still hard! Logan had put an end to it then, again explaining to his drained lover that his healing power renewed his erection constantly.
When Bobby had admitted to feeling sore Logan had offered to walk his lover to Hank's office, but Bobby had declined, feeling more comfortable going alone. Smelling Bobby's scent, he realized that his lover was on his way back and Logan went in to the bathroom, filling the tube with warm water.
"Uh, Logan? You still here?" Opening the door and seeing the empty room, Bobby feared Logan had left.
"I'm in the bathroom. Come and join me." Logan poured some bubblebath in to the water, creating a nice mountain of bubbles.
Hesitantly, Bobby shuffled inside. "Hank knows what happened, man..." He presented the ointment to Logan and then glanced at the bath tub. "Is that for me?"
"Yeah, take yer clothes off. I'm so sorry for not puttin' a stop to it sooner..." Logan unbuttoned Bobby's shirt and slid it from his shoulders. Then he unzipped his lover's jeans and slid them down as well. "Step out of the boxers." Although he'd made sure that Bobby wasn't bleeding after their love making, he knew he'd done some damage. "I should have stopped ya after takin' ya up 'gainst the wall."
"No regrets, Logan. You gave me what I wanted. I just need to keep in mind that I don't have your healing powers." Bobby shivered, standing naked in front of his lover.
Logan waited for Bobby to step in to the bath tub and then sat on its side. Leaning in closer, he began to massage Bobby's shoulders. "It ain't yer fault that I stay hard, darlin'. Ya don't have to get me off 'gain and 'gain."
"Yeah, I know..." Bobby sulked and was surprised when Logan took hold of the shampoo bottle and washed his hair. "This feels nice though, the warm water."
"And later we'll apply some of that ointment Hank gave ya." Logan rinsed Bobby's hair. "Feelin' betta?"
"Stop me the next time I want to act out a fantasy? This one nearly killed me. I so hope that no bad guys are going to launch an attack right now." Logan wrapped a towel around Bobby's head and dried his hair. "You're spoiling me."
"Ya deserve to be spoiled. Four times... If I'd been in my right mind it would never have gotten out of control like that! And what was that role playin' 'bout? Ya got fantasies 'bout...?"
"You pinning me down and taking me, yes, yummie..." Bobby smiled and looked at Logan. "Don't worry... I'll tone it down. I just didn't know it could feel that good! What was your favorite position?" Logan's hands returned to massage his shoulders and Bobby relaxed completely.
"What was yers?" Logan bowed down and pressed a kiss on Bobby's moist hair, loving the scent of his lover pushing through the shampoo.
"I don't know..." Bobby considered the question. "I liked doggy style, man. That was intense... On my back was okay too, got to see your face... On my side was my least favorite position, didn't get to see you and I didn't feel you fully inside me so... I'd be up against the wall." He remembered how Logan had wrapped his legs around his waist, fully supporting him. "Yes, that was... "
Logan didn't give Bobby a chance to finish his sentence. "Don't grow hard on me, kid. Ya ain't up for 'nother round."
"Uhm, Logan, I'm up already, sorry to disappoint you." Bobby grinned and pointed at his erection which was still visible through the bubbles and foam.
"Down, boy!" Logan shook his head. "Nothin' is gonna happen, not until ya healed inside."
"You're still grumpy!" Bobby splashed some water at Logan.
"Stop behavin' like a brat, Drake!" But Bobby's smirk told him that his lover was truly enjoying himself.
"Water's getting cold. I need to get out." Bobby stood and gave Logan a wink when the older man licked his lips at the sight of his naked body. "Down, boy! Behave!"
"Not fair. Yer usin' my words 'gainst me!" Logan grabbed some large towels and wrapped them around Bobby. He rubbed his lover's skin dry and then draped a bath robe across his shoulders. "Get into bed, Drake..."
"Oh yes!" Bobby tried to make a run for the bed, but then realized he still felt sore. He slowed down and laid down on his stomach, cradling his pillow in his arms. "I could sleep forever."
Logan took hold of the tube and opened it. He squeezed a general amount onto his fingertip and sat down on the side of the bed. "How do ya wanna do this? On yer back?"
"Do what?" Bobby looked over his shoulder and found that Logan was rubbing the ointment between his fingertips, warming it. "Oh, I'll just need a pillow..." Bobby pushed a pillow beneath his hips and was about to get on to all fours when Logan stopped him.
"Just relax, Bobby." Logan gently rubbed Bobby's back and waited for his lover's body to relax. When it did, he parted Bobby's buttocks and pushed the ointment inside. His finger followed slowly and he lubricated the irritated passage. "Yer ain't torn..." He didn't smell blood and his fingertip didn't feel any tears. "Out of practice, huh?"
"I'm going to get you for this. You know that, don't you?" Bobby felt relieved when Logan finally removed his finger. "Feels better already."
"Good." Logan wiped the excess ointment off of his finger and kneeled on the bed beside his lover.
"Hey, what's that?" Bobby cocked his head and found that Logan was spreading lotion over his back. "Another massage? Yeah..." Boneless, he surrendered to Logan's talented hands.
"Just enjoy the ride, kid." Logan kneaded the tense muscles. "Any more fantasies ya wanna try?"
"Not right now, wolfie..." Dozing off, Bobby's eyes closed.
"Kids today... got no stamina!" Logan sat down and rested his back against the headboard. After pulling Bobby close to his chest he covered his lover with blankets. Yer a gift, Bobby, a precious gift and I promise I'll never forget just how precious. But ya've got to tone it down, Bobby... fantasies are only fun when they are fantasies...
///
Jono was watching Remy sleep. They lay facing each other and had both wrapped their arms tight around each other's waist. Fascinated, Jono observed the rapid eye movement beneath Remy's eyelids. He was keeping any nightmares at bay so it had to be a pleasant dream the Cajun was experiencing. He almost gave in and peeked at Remy's dreams, but decided that would be rude. Remy was entitled to some privacy.
His right hand snuck up behind Remy's back and tangled in the Cajun's long locks. The silk hair sent a shiver through his body and he wished he still had lips to press a kiss on to a strand. Next were Remy's eyelashes, long and full. Jono could easily lose himself in studying the Cajun's features.
His finger traced Remy's cheekbone and came to rest on a full bottom lip, exploring the soft tissue. Yer beautiful, luv. Luv... they were finally lovers now, at least Jono hoped so. His love had pulled the empath from his coma and Remy had admitted to loving him too. So why did he feel like his problems weren't over yet? Probably because they weren't.
Remy was still in a lot of emotional pain and now that he knew how sadistically Sinister had treated the Cajun, Jono tried to repress the dark rage burning inside his mind. At times like these, it tried to surface, but holding on to Remy's love for him usually made it go away.
Remy moved and his hand slipped a little lower, now resting on the Cajun's hip. Remy's scent had become familiar and drifted up his nostrils. Jono gently caressed Remy's cheek, feeling the fine stubble beneath his fingertips. Remy needed a bath, to wash his hair and a good shave.
How long have you been lookin' at me, cher?
Huh? When did yer wake up? He hadn't felt Remy's mind stir.
Remy opened his eyes and smiled weakly at Jono. Can' believe we're back in my bed... toget'er. Shyly, he raised his right hand and fingered Jono's locks. Jono, you should know... I don' t'ink I've ever been wit' a man 'fore... not dat I can remember. He fought the urge to lower his eyes and maintained eye contact.
Jono felt it was time to confess up. I 'ave been with men... struggled with me sexuality for some time. I liked girls, but then I found I liked blokes even better.
Den at least one of us has some experience. A weak blush settled on Remy's features. I don' t'ink I'm ready... you know... to have sex. He really didn't want to disappoint Jono, but he was still trying to deal with Sinister and Rogue and the trial and... The list didn't seem to end.
I know yer ain't ready, luv and that's okay. I can wait. I love 'oldin' yer, so don't worry about sex. It will 'appen once we're ready. Jono continued to caress Remy's face and his hand froze briefly when Remy leaned in to the touch, rubbing his face against his fingers.
Don't grow 'ard, don't grow 'ard. Jono kept up the mantra and his arousal faded. Wot do yer want ter do? Stay in bed all day or...?
I'd love to take a shower... I'm even hungry, figure dat... Remy felt Jono pull away to get to his feet, but stopped him. Non, stay.
But yer shower...
Can wait. Remy gave Jono a thoughtful look and bit his bottom lip.
Wot is it, luv?
I'd like to try somet'in', mais I don' know if you'll like it.
The hesitance in Remy's tone got to Jono. Wot do yer want ter try?
Kiss you. This time, Remy looked away, feeling uncomfortable.
Why? I don't 'ave lips. Jono mentally kicked himself. Yer stupid dumb ass! Of course 'e knows that yer ain't got lips!
Don' t'ink like dat, cher. Remy gathered his courage and moved a little closer. His fingertips hovered above the bandages, unwilling to touch them without Jono's permission. May I?
Yeah... Jono's eyes followed every move Remy made. He shivered when Remy's fingertips touched the bandages, rubbing the fabric gently.
Foxy... you look foxy, cher. Remy sensed Jono's unease and decided to take the lead. Jono might be his protector, the man who had saved his life and sanity, but at the same time the young man felt incredibly insecure about his looks. Want to kiss you, cher.
Remy, in case yer didn't notice let me spell it out ter yer. I don't 'ave a mouth, lips, or tongue. I can't kiss yer back. Trembling, Jono stared into Remy's eyes, sensing the Cajun's affection for him. Wot are yer gonner do? The tiny tremors worsened, seeing Remy lean in closer. Suddenly Remy's lips pressed against the bandages and the Cajun was kissing him. Jono's toes curled and his hands, which had been clawing the blanket, relaxed. Is that tongue? Blimey... his tongue's movin' against my bandages... Why? 'ow can he stand touchin' me like this? Jono's eyes closed in bliss.
Remy felt Jono relax and moved in closer, straddling Jono's hips. Suddenly he felt terribly insecure. He knew what the ladies liked, but would Jono like those things as well, or did he have to change the way he used to caress his lovers? Placing his hands on either side of Jono's head, he kissed the bandages, lapping, licking and nibbling them.
Jono's tremors changed into violent shaking. No one had ever kissed his bandages before! No one had wanted him like Remy and he couldn't believe this was actually happening. Total acceptance floated from Remy's mind in to his and tears sprang from his eyes.
Jono, cher, what's wron'? Don' you want me to kiss you? Puzzled, Remy tried to pull back, but found himself locked in strong arms, keeping him in place.
Can't believe this is 'appenin', mush. It's been so long... Jono opened his eyes and stared deeply into Remy's. Feeling the other man on top reminded him how much he'd missed being with someone he loved. When me power kicked in I was with me girlfriend... Shocked, Jono listened to his own confession. He was screaming at himself to stop, but something made him confide in Remy. She's in a wheelchair now... I ruined 'er life.
Your power manifested when you were wit' her and caused her injuries? Remy flinched when Jono's subconscious showed him the terrible moment in which Jono's powers had chosen to become active. Wrapping his arms tighter around the trembling young man he held Jono close, then pulled him upright and rocked him gently.
I'm so afraid I'll 'urt yet too, Remy. Jono buried his head against Remy's chest, adjusting to the rocking motion and moving along. The tears that made their way down over his face were tears he should have wept two years ago, but he'd kept the hurt and anger inside until now, until Remy had come along.
Shst, cher, everyt'in' is bien now. I love you and you love me. You'll never hurt me and I'll never let anyone hurt you. It's bien to cry. Let go of de pain, mon amour. Crooning softly in to Jono's mind Remy tried to soothe the young man in his arms. Je t'aime, cher and we'll deal wit' everyt'in' toget'er. You don' have to do dis on your own.
Jono wiped away his tears, still trembling slightly, but feeling in control of his emotions again. Yer amazin', luv. Only hours ago Remy had needed him so badly and now their roles were reversed. Remy was holding him, comforting him. Yer got stronger when yer came back. Strength, which he'd never seen before, shone from Remy's eyes. The scared, hurt Remy LeBeau he'd gotten used to was making place for a much stronger man.
Your love made de difference, Remy whispered in to Jono's mind. De fact dat you still love me means de world to me.
Jono shifted in bed when Remy involuntarily catapulted an image in to his mind. He saw Remy cower on the TV screen and he recalled how coldly the Marauders had laughed. I'm so sorry the scumbag used yer ter entertain 'is goons.
You saw dat? Remy fought the urge to pull away, but this was Jono and the young man wouldn't abandon him because of his past. Jono loved him! I didn' know until Creed told me.
Knowin' that Sinister used yer as entertainment 'urts, mush. Don't deny it, I can feel it. Yer know, this link's somethin' else. It's way more intense than it was.
Remy slowly nodded his head. Dat's 'cause you're now feedin' it too, cher. Remy paused to gather his thoughts. You saw everyt'in' he did to me?
Remy, mush, yer threw everythin' at me when I tried ter pull yer back. Jono's eyes sparkled when Remy leaned in closer to brush his bandages with his lips. Suddenly, Remy tilted his face and rubbed his nose. Wot are yer doin'? Feeling Remy's nose rub against his was an odd sensation.
Dis is how de Inuit kiss, cher. Dey rub deir noses. Dat way you can kiss me too.
Oi, Remy... Remy had found a way they could kiss, an alternative way perhaps, but knowing Remy wanted him like this lessened his pain. I love yer, Remy. Rubbing his nose gently against Remy's, he wondered what he'd done to be given such a chance.
Sensing Jono's relief and happiness caused Remy to smile brilliantly. You want to stay in bed all day?
Hank confined yer ter bed. Just remindin' yer in case yer forgot. Jono shot Remy a sneaky look. Wot are yer up ter?
I was t'inkin' 'bout takin' a shower, cher... I stink! I still smell Creed all over me. But the stench of his sweat was worse. He'd been so terrified that Creed would get to him!
Well, Hank said yer could use the bathroom... go ahead and take that shower. Remy's stomach growled loudly and the Cajun looked up apologetically. While yer shower I'll get yer somethin' ter eat. Jono rubbed his nose one more time against Remy's, released him and got to his feet. Be right back, mush.
Remy nodded and watched Jono leave the room. A deep sigh escaped him as he pushed back the blankets. He really wanted to stay in bed all day and hide from the world, but Jono and the other X-Men wouldn't let him so he'd better clean up his act. Furthermore, he was determined to take good care of Jono. Physically and emotionally he'd been a wreck and hadn't noticed Jono's pain, the hurt in those dark eyes, but now they were tugging wildly at his soul, urging him to soothe the young man.
After struggling with the blankets Remy managed to rise from the bed and he slowly headed for the bathroom. He dreaded looking in the mirror again. His reflection would remind him of what he'd been through and yes, when he stared at himself, he mentally cringed. The man staring back at him wasn't Remy LeBeau, wasn't Gambit. Something profound had changed.
Slowly, he removed his clothes, always resting one hand against the wall for support. He prayed that Jono wouldn't be back until he'd showered and shaved. Disgusted, his eyes traveled down his marred body. Sinister's fingernails had left visible marks. He shook his head, determined not to give in to his self hate. He had to be strong for Jono's sake. Jono had pulled him from his empathic coma, had convinced him their love was real and now he had to shape up and recover.
He turned on the shower and flinched as the water hit him. Although the temperature was pleasant, the sensation reminded him of the times when Sinister had thrown buckets of icy cold water over his shivering body. He pushed the memories back in to a corner of his mind and grabbed the soap, working up a nice lather. After washing his hair, he simply stood under the spray, trying to deal, really deal, with being back at the mansion.
Memories of Rogue slipped through his defences and he fought back anger and hurt. He understood why she'd pushed him away. She'd only seen part of his memories of the Massacre and the deal he'd made with Sinister. She had all the facts, yes, but had never touched his feelings. She didn't know how he'd felt when he'd lain injured in the tunnels. And yet she had judged him.
We're t'rough, Rogue. Even if she came back, he wouldn't try to talk some sense in to her. He would avoid her, make sure he did nothing to aggravate the situation and didn't she have a new boyfriend anyway? Joseph? Hopefully she wouldn't be interested in re-opening old wounds.
The water no longer soothed him, but hurt as it hit his still healing and sensitive skin. He ended the shower and grabbed some towels, drying his hair and his skin. Then he made his way over to the mirror to shave. He still flinched when he stared at his reflection. Feelings of worthlessness were trying to surface, but Jono's love kept them at bay. It almost felt like the young man was at his side right now, pushing them back.
Remy smiled. In a certain way Jono was always close. Due to the link their thoughts and feelings had mingled and he felt Jono hurry back upstairs now that the Brit had picked up on his unease.
Remy quickly shaved, dropped the towel which he'd used to dry his hair on to the floor and searched for a brush or comb to untangle his hair. The door opened and Jono stepped inside, a worried look in his eyes. I'm bien, cher, just t'inkin' 'bout what happened.
Give me the flea rake, mush. Jono had placed his tray, filled with food items, on Remy's desk and planned on getting the Cajun back in bed as quickly as possible.
Flea rake, cher? Remy gave Jono a puzzled look.
The comb, mush. Jono accepted the comb Remy handed him and gently steered Remy back to his room. Remy was naked, except for a towel which he'd slung around his waist. Jono gave in to temptation and let his eyes slide down the Cajun's body. He shivered, seeing the scars that marred Remy's back, chest and arms. He hoped he'd get a chance to get back at Sinister in full.
Sit down on the bed and get beneath the blankets, luv. Jono pulled up the blankets after Remy had snuck in to bed again.
Secretly, Remy enjoyed all the attention and he eagerly let Jono wrap him up in the blankets. Only his hands and head showed now.
Drink this. Jono handed Remy some orange juice and waited patiently for the Cajun to empty it. 'ey, yer can sip slowly! Once again, Remy tried to drown the drink in one go.
Sorry... I forgot... Remy forced himself to slow down and then sipped slowly. Bien?
That's it. Pleased, Jono placed the empty glass back on the tray and poured Remy some tea. Ran in to Hank in the kitchen and he doesn't want ter start yer on caffeine just yet, so I made some herbal tea.
Merci, cher. Remy warmed his hands on the warm mug and closed his eyes, inhaling the chamomile fragrance. Suddenly, something tugged at his hair and the tea almost sloshed over the rim and on to the blankets. What are you doin'? Startled, he looked over his shoulder and saw Jono holding the comb.
Thought it'd untangle this mess yer call 'air, but if yer don't want me ter...
Non, it's bien. I just didn' know what was happening. His heart thundered loudly and Remy felt embarrassed for overreacting like that.
Tell me, luv. Jono stopped combing Remy's hair and moved until he could see the other man's expression.
It's rien...
Was it somethin' I did?
Non, somet'in' Sinister did. Remy sipped his tea, relieved that he'd successfully fought the urge to drown it in one go. He... used to grab my hair and... Sinister had used his hair to drag him around, force him to kneel and he'd hated feeling helpless.
Want me ter stop? Jono gently massaged Remy's shoulders, hoping to relieve some of the tension that inhabited the Cajun's body.
Non, don' stop. I don' want him to win. Remy bowed his head. Just be gentle, cher.
I will, luv. Cautiously, Jono tackled the tangled locks. Now that Remy's hair was wet it easily reached beneath the Cajun's shoulderblades. Yer should eat somethin' too. Jono had suspected Remy was waiting for some sort of permission and now the Cajun dug in, hungrily eating one sandwich and then lunging for another. Remy's hands paused mid-air, above the sandwich. It's okay, luv, yer can eat as much as yer want.
Merci... Remy devoured a second sandwich and then another.
Jono felt relieved Remy's appetite had returned. Almost finished. He placed the comb on the nightstand and watched Remy eat another sandwich. Yer know yer need ter put some weight back on?
Oui, I know. Sinister... Remy paused and allowed the tremors to move through his body. Sinister taunted me wit' de food and when I reached for it, he'd pull back.
I know, luv. When I was in that cell with yer I saw 'im play games with yer. I'll never take away yer food, yer know that, don't yer? Remy pushed away the tray and Jono placed it on the floor. Then he pushed Remy gently in to the pillows and tucked the blankets around the Cajun's form.
Took me some time to understand dat, mais oui, I do. Remy patted the place beside him. Would you come closer, cher?
Sure. Feeling a little shy, Jono sat down beside Remy, stretching his legs and leaning against the headboard as well.
Jono? Can I ask you somet'in'? Remy gave Jono a shy look. His right hand sneaked over in to Jono's lap and curled against the younger man's fingers, twining them.
Sure, luv. Yer can ask me anytin' yer want. Jono stared at their joined fingers and a strange sensation moved through his mind. It felt like Remy wasn't just caressing his fingers, but his mind as well. Well, Remy was an empath, so he would be able to do that.
Are we lovers now, cher? After asking his question, Remy turned quiet, feeling too insecure to sneak a look at Jono. He had to know where they stood; what this relationship was about. He'd kissed Jono and the young man had obviously liked that, but...You want to be wit' me?
Jono pulled Remy closer until the Cajun's head rested against his shoulder. I'd feel honored if yer would want me for a lover, Remy. I love yer so much it sometimes frightens me.
Just you and me, cher? Just de two of us? No one else? Or do you want to keep your options open and date ot'er people as well? Remy hoped Jono wanted them to be exclusive, but he couldn't just assume that.
Would yer like that? Bein' in a committed relationship?
I'd understand if you say non, Jono. You're still very youn' and to be stuck wit' me...
Remy! I want ter be stuck with yer, for as long as we both shall live! Jono sensed insecurity in Remy's mind, which mirrored his own. Yer ain't that old! 'ow old are yer, luv?
You're eighteen, non? Remy gave him a thoughtful look. Feel like I'm robbin' de cradle here.
Yer ain't that much older... are yer? Jono gathered his courage and brought their joined hands to his bandages, pretending to kiss the back of Remy's hand. I'd sell me soul ter 'ave lips again.
Oh, cher. Remy rubbed the back of his hands against the bandages. I love you just de way you are.
Yer still didn't tell me 'ow old yer are.
I t'ink I'm 23... Remy saw Jono's puzzled look and knew he'd have to explain things
Yer think yer 23? Jono tilted Remy's head so he could stare deeply in to the red and black eyes eyes, holding his lover's hand tightly. You think? Care ter explain...?
I was 'bout ten when Jean-Luc LeBeau adopted me. Remy really didn't want to tell Jono about the Antiquary and the Collection; that was in his past now.
Wot about before yer turned ten? Jono suddenly felt Remy's barriers snap into place. 'ey, yer don't 'ave ter tell me if yer don't want ter.
Cher, I don' wanna hurt yer... It's just, you wouldn' understand what happened in de first ten years of my life. Let's say I stayed with an older man, who collected 'special' children.
Jono's eyes shone with suspicion. Who collected children? Remy, yer ain't tellin' me that...
He didn't abuse us, cher. He wanted us close 'cause of our mutant powers. We were treated bien. Was glad t'ough when I managed to get 'way from him. We didn' have any freedom. We were his prisoners.
Jono tightened his hold on Remy's hand. And this lasted ten years?
Learned a lot in dose ten years, mais I loved stayin' wit' poppa and tante Mattie.
Tante? Jono suddenly realized how little he knew of his new lover.
Jean-Luc and tante Mattie raised me. Were de parents I never had. Dey took care of me...
Do yer know wot 'appened ter yer real parents? Remy's revelations threw him off balance. And I thought I 'ad a rotten childhood!
Non, I don' know who my real parents are, never found out. Then Jono's second remark registered. Cher? What about your yout'?
Now it was Jono's turn to become uncomfortable. Me old folks and I never got along. Me old man was an alcoholic and when he was in a bad mood he tried ter beat up me mum. I wouldn't let 'im and tried ter fight 'im off. Was about 5 the first time 'e beat me up. 'e's a bastard, Remy.
And your mère? What did she do to stop him? Horrified, Remy listened closely. He wrapped an arm around Jono and pulled him in. He reversed their roles and this time it was Jono's head that rested against his chest. Remy began to caress the young man's face, never avoiding touching the bandages and stroking the material with even more tenderness.
She didn't 'ave a choice. At the beginnin' she tried ter 'elp me, but then she'd get beat up instead. She just looked the other way.
I'm so sorry, cher. Remy tried to use his empathy to comfort his new lover.
Jono released a mental sigh when Remy's empathy washed over him, enfolding him in warm feelings. Now that he'd told his lover about his childhood he felt even closer to Remy. I never thought we'd 'ave so much in common. Yer childhood sucked and so did mine.
It got betta when I stayed wit' Jean-Luc and tante. Dey really tried to make me feel welcome and to convince me dat I was part of de family, mais dere's still dat little voice tellin' me I ain'.
Yer want ter know who yer real parents are? Did yer ever try ter find out?
Remy nodded his head. I tried, cher, mais it was impossible to track dem down. I don' even know when and where I was born. De Antiquary never volunteered much information and poppa, I know he tried, mais he didn' wanna lose me to some strangers...
We've got each other now, luv. Can we please stop talkin' about this? It's dredgin' up all kind of memories I can do without.
Let's snuggle, cher... I love feelin' you so close. Remy placed a kiss on top of Jono's locks. Oui, we've got each ot'er now... His thoughts began to drift in a completely different direction.
Luv? Wot are yer worried about?
I never 'ad a male lover 'fore, at least I can find none in my memories. Remy blushed slightly. I don' usually feel shy holdin' a new lover.
Does it really bother yer that I'm a bloke or...? Jono resisted the temptation to glance at Remy's thoughts. The Cajun would share them once he felt ready.
It doesn' bot'er me, cher, mais I t'ink I'll need some time to get used to havin' a male lover... I never made love dat way...
Jono chuckled in to Remy's mind. Movin' way too fast, luv. I ain't jumpin' yer bones 'ere, now am I?
Non, you ain', mais... wit' de femmes I knew what dey wanted from me, mais wit' you I don'.
Jono made a decision and raised his head to lock eyes with Remy's. We'll figure things out, luv. Right now I just want ter kiss yer.
Remy smiled affectionately when Jono's nose rubbed his. Je t'aime, cher. Please be patient wit' me... I ain' de man I used to be.
Jono sensed the pain in Remy's words. Oi, luv. I love yer even better this way.
Merci, cher... Remy fought back the tears that were threatening to erupt from his eyes. The time for crying was over; now it he had to work on his recovery.
///
"Scott?" Hank looked up from his research as Scott entered his lab. "Is something wrong with my patient?"
Scott absently shook his head. "No, Remy's fine... I think." Scott sat down opposite Hank and finally looked up to meet his friend's gaze. "Jean sent me a message. Their mission was successful and they'll be back on New Year's Day."
"That's good news, isn't it?" Hank removed his glasses and tried to gauge Scott's mood. "Something's bothering you."
"Rogue and Joseph are coming back as well. How do you think Remy will react seeing her again after what she did to him?" Scott rubbed his brow; he couldn't deny this whole situation was wearing him down. "You think I should tell Rogue and Joseph not to come back to the mansion until Remy feels stronger?"
Hank considered the question. "They won't be home for at least a few more days?"
"That's right. They'll stay a little longer at Muir Island." When Jean had contacted him, Scott didn't have the time to shield his thoughts from her. Her call had taken him by surprise and she'd seen images of Remy's rescue in his mind. In the end, he'd just told her what had happened. Jean had offered to make sure the team stayed at Muir Island until New Year's Day to give Remy a chance to grow stronger.
"If I were you I'd let Remy decide. Wait a few days and tell him after we celebrated Christmas. Hopefully he will be comfortable enough by then to tell us if he feels up to seeing Rogue. And I'm sure Jono will tell us the truth in case Remy's lying about being ready to face Rogue."
Scott liked Hank's idea, but still felt hesitant. "You don't think it's too early for Remy to make such a decision?"
"He's got Jono to help him deal with everything... I think Remy can make his own decisions." Hank checked the time. "Speaking of our Cajun friend, I should make sure he's doing fine." Hank got to his feet and walked over to the doorway. Scott followed him. "Remy's been to Hell and back," Hank started, "but our Acadian's strong, even stronger now that Jono's at his side. Have faith in him."
Scott sighed. "It's hard. I vividly remember finding him in that hellhole. Who knows what Sinister did to him."
"Jono will help Remy deal with that. Our Acadian friend doesn't trust us completely and won't let us in, but he accepts Jono close and that young man will pull him through."
Their paths separated; Hank headed for Remy's room and Scott for the professor's office. He had some thinking to do and needed some peace and quiet.
///
Remy sneaked out of bed and covered Jono, who was still asleep, with some warm blankets. Because of the link, he knew that Jono was having a pleasant dream in which he'd mastered his powers. He was soaring through the sky, his powers pushing him on. Remy decided not to wake the younger man and walked towards the window. One glance outside made him shiver violently; it had started to snow. It was only a matter of time before the mansion would be covered in cold, white snow and ice. Mon Dieu, he hated seeing that snow. It reminded him of his ordeal at Antarctica.
Looking at Jono, Remy found that his new lover was pushing deeper in to the mattress. Jono was hugging a pillow and seemed completely at ease. Remy envied him for his peace of mind right now. His own mind was in turmoil. He could still barely believe that he'd been rescued.
Only days ago he'd been Sinister's prisoner and life had consisted of endless torture. Now he was with people who cared about him, who'd been his friends in another lifetime; he honestly couldn't understand why they still wanted to be his friends. He'd nothing left to offer in return.
And then there was Jono. Why and how he'd reached out to Jono while he'd still been in Sinister's lab mystified Remy. He hadn't known Jonothan Starsmore, but the young man had somehow sensed his presence and the most amazing thing was that Jono had confessed his love for him.
He loves me. Jono really loves me. I'm scared to believe he loves me, mais I feel his love for me in his mind. De first time I felt it I t'ought I was deludin' myself, mais now I know his love is true... why? How? How can he love me?
Remy looked over his shoulder and his gaze settled on the sleeping man's features. He's suffered so much. I can feel it in his mind. His powers scare him and he's 'fraid he'll end up hurtin' ot'ers. His fear's his greatest enemy and yet... somehow he found de strengt' to love me... a nutcase...
He'd fought back his tears these last few minutes and the gates finally opened. I can' believe how lucky I am! I found someone who loves me, wants to be wit' me and... Merde, all I can do is cry like a bébé! Mais only two ot'er people ever told me dey really loved me. Poppa and tante... I miss dem! If it weren' for Jono I'd give poppa a call and... and what? Dere's rien he can do for me. He can' leave N'awlins and I can no longer go dere. Non, I'd betta not contact poppa...
Tears continued to flow down his cheeks and he didn't bother to wipe them away, knowing more would follow. Since his rescue, he'd tried to keep everything inside and now it had to get out. Merci, Jono, for comin' after me. Don' know why you went after dis crazy Cajun, mais... I owe you my life and my sanity. I'll 'ways love you...
Remy startled, sensing that Jono was waking up. Non, please stay 'sleep. Don' let my worries bot'er you. It's rien...
Remy? Luv? Puzzled, Jono opened his eyes. Remy was no longer in his arms and he missed feeling the Cajun's warm body pressed against his. Seeing Remy's tears, he pushed back the blankets and leaped to his feet. 'ey mush, why the 'ell are yer cryin? And why didn't yer wake me? I don't want yer to feel alone.
Jono quickly covered the distance between them and now stood in front of the Cajun. He wanted to reach out and pull Remy in to his arms, but refrained from doing that, uncertain Remy would welcome his touch right now. Wot's goin' on, luv? Bad dream?
Non, everyt'in' came crashin' in to me, Remy admitted and hesitantly raised one hand to rest it on Jono's chest, covering the other man's heart. I still can' believe you love me. Do you know how amazin' dat is, considerin' what Sinister did to me?
Oi, Rem luv. Don't do this ter yerself. Yer know I love yer, don't question that. Jono slowly wrapped one arm around Remy's waist, giving his lover the time to pull away, but Remy leaned into the touch and Jono didn't waste any time pulling him close to his chest. Resting his brow against Remy's, Jono looked deeply into the alien eyes. It's okay, luv. Sinister's gone and I'm here. I won't let the scumbag close ter yer. I love yer, Remy.
Remy could only nod his head, feeling Jono's sincere love. Je t'aime, cher. I'll never let you down, I promise to 'ways love you.
An unexpected knock on the door interrupted Remy's confession. "Oui?" Relieved, he noticed that his jaw wasn't throbbing that badly any more. He still preferred to communicate telepathically though as long as his jaw caused him discomfort... but he'd promised Hank to talk aloud.
The door opened and Hank stepped inside. "Young man, what are you doing out of bed? Hop back in to bed right now. That's an order!"
Remy flinched as Jono unexpectedly raised his right hand to wipe away the tears on his face. Seeing the shock in Jono's eyes he tried to apologize. For one horrible moment he'd been back in his cell and Sinister's fist had been descending down on him. Cher... sorry... I...
Yer really thought I'd 'it yer? Dazed, Jono stared at Remy, reading the apology in the Cajun's mind. But he still couldn't believe that Remy had actually flinched away from him. I'd never 'it yer!
I know dat, cher, mais... Remy failed to find the right words and lowered his eyes, staring at the floor. He'd betrayed the trust between them by flinching away from Jono, at least he felt like that Cher, sorry, please forgive me?
Hank had heard the telepathic exchange and hoped Jono would understand Remy's reaction. After all, Sinister had had Remy for a year and it took time to undo the conditioning.
Luv, I just wasn't prepared ter see that reaction, but I do understand. There's nothin' ter forgive. To stress his words, he folded his arms around Remy and guided him back to his bed. Yer 'eard Hank, lie down and get comfortable.
Remy obeyed wordlessly, still feeling uncertain if he'd offended Jono by flinching away.
Jono found Remy's sudden silence unsettling and sat down on the side of the bed. I'm serious, luv. It's okay. I understand.
"Jono, why don't you step outside for a moment? I need to talk to Remy privately." Hank approached the bed and watched their interaction, pleased to see the concern on Jono's face. "I need to examine our Acadian friend and to make sure that he's recuperating. You could keep Scott company."
Reluctantly Jono got back to his feet again, but he didn't release Remy's hand yet, clutching it tightly. Are yer okay with this, luv?
Oui, I'll be bien. Hank's a friend, non?
But Jono heard the doubt in Remy's voice, and it almost convinced him to stay. Hank's words however made him leave.
Hank whispered the words into Jono's ear. "Jono, leave us alone for 20 twenty minutes and then you can spend the rest of the day with him. I want to see how Remy reacts without you close."
Okay... Jono glanced one more time at Remy and then turned away to leave the room. I'll be back.
"I know you will," Hank teased.
I hope you'll come back, Remy thought privately, ashamed he doubted Jono's love for him.
Jono sensed Remy's fears, but didn't turn back. Instead he left the room and headed for the kitchen.
"Now, how are you doing, Remy?" Hank took Jono's former place on the bed and studied the red and black eyes. "You do know I'm a friend, don't you?"
Remy nodded his head, slowly. "I... t'ink so..." A wave of pain moved through his jaw. "I remember... you." Uttering those few words caused his jaw to radiate waves of even more intense pain.
"You haven't been talking, Remy. I know you can communicate telepathically, but I strongly advise you try talking aloud." Slowly, giving Remy time to adjust, Hank took hold of the Cajun's wrist and measured his pulse. "A little elevated, but nothing to worry about." Hank gave Remy a thoughtful look. "Is there something you want to talk about? Like that little panic attack you had when Jono wanted to wipe away your tears?"
"I... t'ought it was... Sinister's hand..." Remy stuttered, cursing his still aching jaw. "Didn' want to hurt him..."
"I'm sure Jono knows that." Hank carefully formulated his next question. "Do you often react like that when Jono touches you unexpectedly?"
"Non," Remy replied truthfully. He wanted to add more but his throbbing jaw made it impossible. I know Jono loves me and would never hurt me... it were just de memories. Dey're so strong at times...
Hank allowed Remy to use his newly discovered telepathy to communicate with him, realizing the Cajun's jaw had to hurt. "Is there something that hurts especially bad?"
Remy bit his lip. Bein' weak... bein' helpless. I still can' understand how I could forget 'bout you. I didn' remember bein' part of de X-Men...
"We should never have left you at Antarctica. I don't know what demon possessed us to desert you like that." The understanding and forgiveness that shone from Remy's eyes made Hank swallow hard. "You seem better," he said, trying to cover for his embarrassment. "Is there something...anything you need?"
Can I ask you a question?
Surprised, Hank nodded his head.
It's 'most Christmas, non? Remy avoided Hank's eyes. Jono said somet'in' 'bout attendin' Christmas dinner?
"Yes, that's true. Bobby, Logan and I are cooking dinner." Hank wondered what was troubling Remy, but waited patiently for the Cajun to continue.
Am I really... wanted dere? I mean, I know what I did was wron' and I'd understand if none of you wanted me dere...
Hank stopped Remy's rambling by placing a hand on the Cajun's shoulder. Remy calmed slightly and big, swimming eyes, met his. "You're not merely wanted, Remy, you're needed. We need you present to remind us that you're still alive." Had Remy been worried about that? He still doesn't believe we care and want him here, Hank thought privately. "And don't worry about the Christmas gifts. I'm sure no one had the time to shop." They'd been a little too busy caring for Remy.
I'd love to give Jono somet'in', mais... Hank, would you do me a favor? He lacked the courage to look Hank in the eyes, amazed at his boldness to actually phrase that request.
"What is it?" Hank smiled invitingly.
I keep a sketchbook in my desk... would you get if for me? Please?
Hank rose from the bed and walked over to the antique desk. Opening the drawer, he found the sketchbook and pencils lying on top of some magazines. He carried the items back to Remy and placed them beside the Cajun on the bed. "What are you going to do?"
Remy stared at his trembling hands. Mon Dieu, I ain' sure I can draw like dis...
"What would you like to draw?" Hank opened the sketchbook and presented Remy with a blank page.
Mebbe a portrait?
"A self-portrait?" Hank liked that idea.
Mais non! I wanna draw Jono! Confused, he stared at the patient paper. What would Jono want wit' a drawin' of me?
"He might cherish it," Hank said softly. "What about drawing the two of you, standing close together?"
But that meant putting himself in to the drawing and he didn't want that. He didn't deserve to be in it. Mebbe.
"Why don't you think about it? I'm sure Jono would be delighted to receive such a drawing for Christmas." Hank smiled reassuringly and then headed for the doorway. "Do you want to be alone for some minutes or do you want me to fetch Jono and send him back right away?"
Remy placed the tip of his pencil on the paper. A few minutes 'lone...? I should be able to do dat. Mebbe I can get started on Jono's present.
Hank's smile grew brighter, seeing the focused expression in Remy's eyes. The Cajun had found something, someone to hold on to.
///
"Yes..." Scott felt tired and wondered who wanted to talk to him. He'd hidden inside the professor's study for a reason; he'd wanted to be alone. "Jono? What are you doing here?"
Jono stepped inside and took in Scott's haggard expression. Yer look like shit. He came to a halt in front of the desk, waiting for Scott to invite him to sit down.
"Take a seat, Jono." Scott waited for the young man to settle down in the chair opposite him and then searched Jono's eyes, which seemed extremely concerned. "Is something wrong with Remy?"
'e thought I was gonner 'it 'im! I wanted ter wipe away 'is tears and 'e flinched away. Jono sounded melancholy and hurt.
"Why does that surprise you?" Scott sat up straight and rested his elbows on the desk. "Imagine being Sinister's prisoner for one year, never knowing what will happen next. Will the bastard bring you food and water? Beat you up? Ignore you for days? I'm surprised Remy's doing this well, considering Sinister humiliated him constantly."
Ashamed, Jono realized that Scott was right. Yeah, 'e's doin' well, considerin' everythin' e's been through, but it still 'urt ter see 'im flinch away from me.
Scott looked deeply in to Jono's eyes. "Remy trusts you, and you've got to understand how much it's costing him to maintain that trust in you. If you let him down, he might never trust anyone else again."
I understand that... Jono felt the emotional turmoil in Scott's mind, wondering what had caused it. This wasn't just about Remy. Wot's goin' on?
Scott sighed, leaned back in his chair and decided to confide in Jono, who was going to find out in a few days anyway. "The rest of the team will be back on New Year's Day."
A grim expression appeared on Jono's face when he realized what Scott was really trying to tell him. That includes Rogue comin' back?
"I'm afraid so. Do you think Remy's up to facing her?"
No, mate, no way. Jono was growing restless and got to his feet to pace the office. Yer ain't inside Remy's mind constantly, yer don't know 'ow terribly scared and fragile 'e is.
"I can order Rogue to stay at Muir Island," Scott offered, "but I'm not sure she'll stay there without a good reason and once she knows Remy's still alive... I don't know how she'll react. She's always been unpredictable and it's become worse these last few months."
Why is she on the team anyways? Jono loved looking through the window and seeing the white blanket that was covering the mansion.
"She came to us for help and the professor felt she deserved a fair chance." Scott leaned back his head and stared at the ceiling. "I sometimes wonder if we made a mistake by making her part of the team, but her strength... she saved the team a few times, maybe even saved the world..."
Yer afraid yer will 'ave ter make a choice, Jono observed. There's a chance that things won't work out with Remy and Rogue on the team, so one of them will 'ave to go. Question is, which one will yer ask ter leave...
Scott licked his dry lips. "You've got to understand, Jono. I'm teamleader. I've got to do what's best for the team and Remy's...
Remy's useless right now. He couldn't repress his bitter tone. And Rogue's powers are still strong. Maybe yer think 'er evil character and vile deeds ain't that important because she can 'elp the team in ways Remy's can't... Jono's anger was growing and he knew his temper would get the better of him any moment now. He didn't want to throw a tantrum; he had to keep a clear head because Remy needed him to watch out for him. If yer kick Remy off the team, I'll be leavin' with 'im. No way I'm stayin' when that bitch Rogue's allowed ter stay.
Scott startled at Jono's poisonous tone. Defensively, he said, "I never said I'd choose Rogue over Remy."
But yer thinkin' about it. Maybe yer even made yer decision. It makes me sick ter think yer would kick Remy out after everythin' 'e's been through. Maybe I should take 'im away before yer can 'urt 'im like that. He didn't know where they could go, but they would find their own place.
"Jono, calm down." Scott got to his feet and walked toward Jono. "I want Remy to decide..."
Jono didn't let Scott finish. Stop bollockin' me, mate. Do yer really think Remy will stand up for 'imself after wot 'e's been through? Do yer 'ave any idea 'ow low 'is self-esteem's right now? 'e would leave the mansion immediately, if that meant not facin' Rogue. Remy blames 'imself for everythin' that 'appened and yer think 'e can make a decision like that? 'e'll see it as an request ter leave the mansion and make room for Rogue! Jono's good intentions to keep his temper under control were fading, overwhelmed by the injustice about to be done to Remy.
Scott saw the blazing anger in Jono's eyes and his psi-energy was burning strongly beneath the bandages. "I don't have the answers to this situation, but you've got to trust me on this. I'll make the best decision for everyone involved."
Yeah right, trust yer and then see yer kick Remy out? Do yer know wot that will do ter 'is self-worth? Yer will be doin' Sinister a favor by finishin' the job for 'im. Bugger, I need ter get out of 'ere! Jono marched out of the office, ignoring Scott. Once he'd reached the corridor he tried to compose himself again. He knew he felt strongly protective of Remy, but he'd surprised himself by lashing out like that.
Scott watched Jono leave and wished this conversation hadn't gone so wrong. He should have started things off differently. Maybe it was time to...
Time to listen to your heart...
That thought wasn't his and it took Scott a moment to recognize the telepathic touch. It weren't Jono's thoughts either. It was Remy... damn, does that mean he overheard our conversation?
///
Remy had bowed his head while listening to Jono and Scott. Hearing Jono defend him like that filled his eyes with unshed tears and when Jono told Scott that they'd move out before Scott could tell them to leave, Remy began to tremble violently. It wasn't fair. Jono wasn't supposed to give up his life here. The young man needed to learn how to control his powers and the professor knew ways to help Jono.
But then Scott's doubts flowed in to his mind and Remy knew the other man was struggling with the situation as well. Scott's rational mind was telling him it was best to let Remy go and hold on to Rogue because the team would benefit from her staying. However, Scott's heart was urging him to keep Remy close and to let Rogue go. Mebbe it's time to listen to your heart...
Ashamed that he'd listened in on such a private conversation he erected barriers, making sure he was no longer touching Scott's mind. Reading Scott's thoughts had been unsettling, but feeling the man's emotions was even more disconcerting; he'd never wanted to pry.
Reaching out to Jono, he located the younger man outside where he was trying to get his rage back under control. It would never stop to amaze him how worked up Jono got when someone threatened him. He barely refrained from calling Jono back to him; he wanted Jono close, but realized his lover needed some time alone.
Remy picked up his sketchbook and looked at the drawing. Jono's face stared back at him. He'd tried to pay extra attention to the beautiful brown eyes, making them as intense as they were in real life. Then he remembered Hank's suggestion, to put himself in to the drawing as well, but he couldn't stand drawing his own face next to Jono's for that meant either studying his face in mirror, adding the scars and black circles beneath his eyes or drawing his face the way he remembered he'd looked before Sinister had gotten his hands on him. In the first case he had to face reality, in the second he'd be hiding from the truth so Remy decided that the drawing was perfect the way it was.

 

Chapter Two

Bobby rolled away from Logan's warm body. His bladder was killing him and he desperately needed to take a leak. However, he didn't want to leave their warm bed and had tried to postpone the inevitable.
"Whadda ya doin', Drake?" Logan grunted the words disapprovingly. His lover had been right where he was supposed to be and now he grew frustrated by the unexpected lack of Bobby's body warmth in front of him.
"Sorry, bathroom, really need to go!" Bobby mumbled apologetically. "Go back to sleep, Wolfie... I'll be back before you know it!" He saw Logan's nose twitch disapprovingly, hearing that nickname.
"Don't take too long, Drake! Bed's growing cold!" Logan pulled up the comforter and allowed himself to drift off into sleep again, but subconsciously he stayed aware of his lover's every move and location. Bobby being abducted by Creed had shown him how vulnerable they were, even at home, and he wasn't taking anymore chances.
Bobby walked into the bathroom and relieved himself. It felt odd, not wearing his jammies. He'd never slept naked before and it would take him some time to get used to the sensation of sleeping skin on skin. He loved that sensation though.
As he flushed the toilet, he leaned over to look outside of the window, wondering if it was still snowing. He felt less sore and was glad that Hank had given him that ointment. Tomorrow the soreness would probably be gone completely.
But what was this bright light doing outside, cutting through the darkness, melting the snowy blanket? "Jono?"
Jono was standing outside in the gardens and his psi fire surrounded him, making him look taller. I wonder what happened that upset him? Looking closer, he saw the furious expression on Jono's face.
He shouldn't be alone right now. Bobby made his decision to talk to Jono in a split second and dashed back into his bedroom, where Logan stirred beneath the blankets. He really wanted to move back into Logan's arms, but Jono needed someone to talk to. Quickly he slipped into some jeans, socks and a sweater. Last he put on his shoes and coat.
"What the hell are ya doin', Drake?" Bobby wasn't coming back to bed; instead he was putting on clothes! Logan wanted his lover back in his arms and not Bobby heading outside!
"Jono's outside and he looks pretty pissed off. I gotta talk to him." Bobby put on some warm gloves and headed for the doorway.
Logan studied his lover, wondering why Bobby was bothering to put on clothes when he could simply ice up. "Want me to tag 'long?"
Bobby shook his head. "That won't be necessary. I think I can handle this on my own. You betta made sure the bed's still warm when I get back." Bobby moved back to the bed, leaned in close and pressed a passionate kiss on Logan's lips. "I love you, wolfie," he whispered and hurried out of the room, hearing Logan curse softly behind him. Hearing that nickname always pushed Logan's buttons!
Logan allowed a grin to break through. Yeah, his lover had a good heart, another reason why he felt grateful for having Bobby as his lover. Hopefully Bobby could help Jono work things out. Having the utmost confidence in Bobby, Logan rolled onto his side and returned to his favorite erotic dream, which featured Bobby and metal handcuffs.
///
The rage was getting out of control. How could Scott even consider sending Remy away just so Rogue could stay? That was so unfair! Had Scott lost his mind? Didn't the man know that Remy belonged here? Deserved to stay here? If anyone had to go it was Rogue who had abandoned Remy at Antarctica!
His bandages had slipped down and his psi fire leaked, roaming free, radiating warm and cocooning him. His rage needed a way out and a bolt of psi fire raced towards the dark heavens. Letting go of part of his rage made him feel a little better... but just a little.
"Jono?" Bobby had backed a few steps away when Jono's step fire escaped, surprised that he suddenly felt intimidated. "What's going on, man?"
Jono turned around, annoyed at the unwanted interruption. He'd headed outside because he didn't want to talk and now Bobby had found him. Wot?
Bobby cringed, seeing the intense anger in Jono's eyes. He'd seen Jono angry before, but the intensity frightened him and he wondered what had happened to piss Jono off. Jono was truly a terrifying sight and Bobby wondered about the extent of Jono's powers. He'd always thought that Scott's optic blast was one of the most destructive forces in the universe, but now he wasn't that sure anymore. "What got you so riled up, Jono?"
Jono managed to compose himself again. He was mad with Scott and Bobby didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of his rage. Bobby had done nothing wrong. His psi fire weakened as he got his emotions back under control and it returned to the confines of his body. Jono put the bandages back in place and tried to hold on to his newly found calm. I'm thinking about leaving this place.
"Why?" Bobby felt relieved now that Jono had calmed down, but the remark confused him. Why did Jono want to leave the mansion? Hesitantly, hoping Jono wouldn't take the gesture the wrong way, he rested his right hand on Jono's shoulder. "What happened?"
Scott told me that Rogue'll be back soon and 'e doesn't want any conflicts at the mansion. So either Remy leaves or Rogue can't come back. The mansion doesn't seem ter be big enough ter 'ouse them both. 'e's gonner kick Remy off the team so Rogue can stay. 'e needs 'er powers ter strengthen the team and Remy's pretty useless ter the team right now so Scott quickly made 'is decision.
Shocked, Bobby stared deeply into Jono's eyes. "I can't believe that Scott would choose Rogue's side. That isn't like Slim."
'e's teamleader, mate. Scott wants ter do wot's best for the team. Jono returned the stare. I rather take Remy away from 'ere before Scott can 'urt Remy like that. I won't allow it! Remy's been through enough!
Bobby shook his head. Scott might sometimes make the wrong decisions, but he couldn't believe this was going to be one of them, not now Remy was back at the mansion and the truth finally in the open. "Did Scott actually say that he was kicking Remy out? I simply can't believe he would do that!" Bobby reassuringly squeezed Jono's shoulder. "Did he say that?"
'e 'inted at it. Jono's gaze darkened. Apparently Bobby still believed that Scott would reach the right decision and let Remy stay. Bobby had too much confidence in Scott. Jono hoped Bobby wouldn't be hurt too badly when Scott told the team Remy had to go.
"But he didn't actually say it!" Bobby said triumphantly. Shaking his head, he continued, "Jono, you feel really protective of Remy and that's okay, he needs that right now. He's extremely lucky to have you, but you're overreacting where Scott's concerned. Give him the benefit of the doubt, man, and what the hell are you doing out here when Remy's in his room, probably missing you?" Bobby grinned as Jono's expression turned guilty.
"Did you already get Remy a Christmas present?" Bobby decided that a distraction was in order. "Hank told me that Remy got you something."
A present? Jono's brown eyes grew big. A painful memory cut through his mind.
"What?" Bobby had seen the sudden distress in Jono's eyes before the other man had managed to hide it.
While I still lived at the Academy I thought I was in love with Paige and I got 'er a Christmas present last year...
"What happened? Didn't she like your present?" Bobby waited patiently for Jono to continue, sensing a painful revelation would follow.
All she could think and talk about was that she couldn't go 'ome this year and I never got the chance ter give 'er me present. I dumped it in the garbage can.
"But Remy's different," Bobby reminded Jono and then swallowed hard, realizing that Remy wasn't the man he'd known either. "Remy will love your present no matter what it is. It will touch his heart that you actually got him something. He'll never take you for granted, you know that, don't you, Jono?"
Bloody 'ell, yer right... I need ter get 'im a present. Remy would never expect to get a Christmas present and actually getting one would show him who much he was loved. But wot do I get 'im? I 'ate shopping, people always stare at me and tomorrow's Christmas Eve!
Bobby laughed, seeing Jono start to panic.
Wot can I get 'im? Fuck, why did yer 'ave ter tell me? Now I don't 'ave a thing ter give 'im and 'e'll be disappointed that I didn't get 'im something...
"Come on, Jono. Let's find a computer and do some surfing. There are some pretty amazing sites out there that deliver the goods at home within 24 hours. You don't even have to leave the house!" A relieved sigh drifted into his mind and Bobby smiled. "Let's so some shopping!"
///
Remy tossed and turned in bed, wondering what was keeping Jono this long. He'd finished his drawing, his Christmas present for Jono, but wasn't sure he should go ahead and give it to his lover. The drawing sucked and he knew he could do much better. Maybe he would just pretend he'd never made it.
Soft footfalls sounded on the stairs and Remy automatically reached out, using the link. Jono?
Yeah, luv, it's me...
Reassured, Remy elbowed himself into a sitting position. He couldn't help flinching when the door opened. Although he knew it was Jono entering the room his subconscious fooled him into believing it was Sinister, coming to get him.
Jono felt Remy's fear and quickly approached the bed, eager to convince Remy it was he and not Sinister that had entered the room. Luv, it's only me. It's okay. Sinister's image faded in Remy's mind and Jono sat down, slowly folding his arms around Remy's trembling frame.
Remy released a strangled sigh. I don' wanna be dis emotional all de time. He felt guilty for making Jono uncomfortable. I can' get Sinister out of my head.
I know that, luv. I also know yer need time and I 'ope the day will come that Sinister won't frighten yer anymore but until that day comes I'll be at yer side and 'elp yer cope with it. Jono tenderly caressed Remy's face, relieved that his lover didn't flinch or pull away from him. Remy's eyes drifted off to the clock and Jono read the question beneath the look.
Jono, I overheard your conversation wit' Scott. Remy whispered the words into Jono's mind, signaling his lover that it was okay to discuss this now. You got mad wit' him, non?
Luv, I can't believe he'd want yer ter leave. Jono moved slightly until his back rested against the headboard. He smiled as Remy moved into his arms, seeking his warmth. I'd rather take yer away from 'ere. I won't let 'im 'urt yer like that!
Remy swallowed hard, recalling how Jono had defended him earlier. You want to leave de mansion, cher?"
Maybe it would be best if we did. If Scott doesn't really want us 'ere... Jono relished feeling Remy this close and buried his face in the long locks. Wot do yer want, mush?
Remy smiled, pleased that Jono wanted to hear his opinion. You really want to discuss dis now?
Yeah, luv, this is yer life we're talking about.
It's your life as well... I wanna be wit' you and it doesn' matter to me where we are as long as we are toget'er. Just never leave me, Jono.
Jono hated the fact that his eyes were filling with tears. He wanted to be strong for Remy and he didn't want to cry right now, but Remy's answer had touched something deep inside him, something he'd locked away for these last few years. We'll always be together, Remy. I just don't know where ter take yer. I don't 'ave a place of me own... where ter go?
Remy smiled reassuringly. I can help wit' dat, cher. Poppa left me enough money to take care of myself and I got some property which I bought through de years. I ain' poor. We'll always have places to go. Actually Jean-Luc had created a trust fund for him and the several millions were his to spend. Just tell me where you want to go.
Yer ain't pulling me leg 'ere? Jono looked at Remy in disbelief and his eyes grew big as his lover's lips reached for his bandages. I love yer, mush.
I love it when you call me dat... Remy smiled and brushed Jono's bandages with his lips.
Yer tired, mush... Jono saw the red and black eyes close every so often. Remy probably hadn't gotten much sleep during his absence. Want ter get some sleep?
Get out of your coat first, cher? Remy felt hesitant. He'd never taken a man to his bed before and although he felt shy, he wanted to take another step in their relationship.
Jono caught an echo of Remy's thoughts and arched an eyebrow. Wot do yer really want? Luv, tell me.
Remy avoided Jono's eyes. Could he really say what he wanted, needed? Could he find the courage to do so?
Just tell me... Jono gently rubbed his nose against Remy's, grateful that his lover had thought of this way to kiss.
Wanna feel your skin 'gainst mine... Remy blurted out into Jono's mind.
Jono couldn't believe Remy really wanted him that close. Didn't the bandages gross the Cajun out? Since his powers had manifested he'd always slept alone and now Remy wanted to feel his skin against his? Are yer sure, mush? Please be sure.
Oui, I'm sure, cher. Remy would gladly shed the sweatshirt and pants he was wearing to make skin on skin contact. Maybe it was his empathic side that needed the close contact. Or don' you wanna? I'd understand, cher. Now that Jono wasn't answering he began to feel increasingly insecure. He knew that Sinister had marred his body and maybe Jono found those scars disgusting?
Mush, I'd love ter feel yer against me! Jono got to his feet and removed his coat. Yer gonna take yer clothes off too?
Remy nodded his head and avoided Jono's eyes. He ignored his sore muscles when he slipped out of his sweatshirt.
Both men were now only wearing their pants and Jono waited for Remy to discard his sweatpants first before removing his own jeans. He wanted to make sure that Remy was comfortable doing this.
Remy blushed as he removed his sweatpants. He was now only wearing his briefs and the cold air assaulted his body. Quickly, he slipped beneath the blankets, growing cold, but not uncomfortable. He felt a little nervous, but wasn't pushing himself. He wanted Jono close with no barriers between them! Join me in bed, cher?
Jono stepped out of his jeans and slipped between the covers.
Black boxers, cher?
Jono was delighted to hear Remy giggle. Yer like, luv? Jono still sat upright in bed, wondering how Remy wanted to settle down for the night. Looking down, he startled at the sight of the black bandages, once again wondering why Remy wanted him for a lover!
Cher? Remy rested his hands on Jono's shoulders, caressing the black bandages. Then he pulled his lover down until they lay facing each other. Hold me?
Jono trembled as Remy's arms closed around him. No one had ever before touched his bandages with so much love, with so much acceptance and it almost made him cry. The trembling changed into minor shakes as Remy draped a leg over his hips. The skin on skin contact made him aware of how cold Remy felt and he wrapped his arms around the Cajun, pulling him close. Remy...
Remy smiled warmly, knowing Jono felt insecure about his appearance. He tucked Jono's head beneath his chin and kissed a strand of his lover's hair. I t'ink I can sleep now, cher.
Jono couldn't believe Remy was holding him this tight. His cock twitched happily, growing erect against Remy's warm body. Stop it, he chastised himself privately. Yer don't want ter scare 'im off!
Cher?
Can't believe yer holding me like this. It'll be the first night since the manifestation of me powers that I don't 'ave ter sleep alone...
Go to sleep, cher... Jono's arousal pressed against his stomach, but Remy decided to ignore it. He wasn't ready to take this particular step yet, but it did reassure him that Jono found him sexually attractive. Merci, mon Dieu, he thought privately. Feeling relaxed and comfortable, he pressed another kiss on Jono's hair.
///
Logan hissed irritated as something cold slithered into his arms. "What the hell!" His eyes flashed open and the scent that drifted up into his nostrils assured him that it was Bobby.
"Jono needed someone to talk to," Bobby explained as he rolled onto his side so Logan could spoon up behind him. "Scott said something that really upset Jono."
Logan growled, realizing that Bobby wanted to talk about this. His nipples hardened as Bobby's icy cold back settled against his chest. Well, he was awake now anyway. "What was it?"
"It seems like the mansion's not big enough for Remy and Rogue. Scott will only let one of them stay." Bobby still felt a hint of anger himself. "Jono was ready to leave with Remy before Scott could reach a decision. I managed to talk him down from his rage and Jono agreed to wait for Scott's decision."
Logan felt the tension in Bobby's body and began to stroke the smooth body gently, concentrating on his lover's chest, legs and arms. "Sounds like something Cyke would do, but... somehow this surprises me."
"What do you mean?" Bobby turned slightly in Logan's arms so he could lock eyes with his lover.
"I'd have thought Cyke finally realized what was really goin' on."
"And that is?" Bobby held his breath. He didn't want to fight Logan over this, but they would fight if his lover chose Rogue's side.
"Rogue's the problem."
Bobby sighed relieved and snuggled back up to Logan. "Yeah, something's wrong with her. I saw the way she acted when she dumped Remy. He wanted to make everything up to her, even offered to let her kiss him again so she would know everything about him and yet she declined. I felt like she never really trusted, never really loved him. I actually pitied Remy for being in love with her."
Logan continued the caresses and now soothingly stroked the hard muscles of Bobby's abdomen. Acting on instinct, he pressed his groin against Bobby's ass, making sure his lover felt his arousal. "Maybe we should talk to Cyke. I won't stay if he kicks the Cajun out."
Bobby sighed blissfully. "I knew I could count on you, but maybe we have to wait and see what happens."
"What if Scott kicks Remy out?" Logan rolled one of Bobby's nipples between his fingers and pinched it gently. He grinned, hearing the moan that followed.
Bobby took a deep breath, wanting to tell Logan to stop touching him like that while they were having such an important conversation, but in the end he didn't want to lose the close contact and allowed Logan to play with his nipples. "I care about Remy and Jono, and don't know if I still want to live here with Rogue around, knowing what I do now about her deserting Remy. We'll both leave."
Logan nodded his head and licked the passion mark he'd left behind while they'd made love the other day. "I doubt Remy and Jono will mind the company. They'll need some friends."
"So, if Remy has to go, we go as well?" Bobby moaned as Logan's right hand descended on his balls, caressing them, rolling them in the sac. He loved Logan's protective streak.
"Yeah, that's pretty much it." Logan stroked Bobby's thighs and chuckled as his lover opened his legs further for his caresses. He was just trying to make his lover feel relaxed and not after some sex. He wanted to let Bobby know that he would always be there for the younger man. "Remy and Jono got each other, darlin'. They'll pull through." Logan felt Bobby chuckle. "What?"
"I told Jono Remy was giving him a present this Christmas and Jono panicked." Bobby laughed, recalling the way he'd dragged Jono off to do some netsurfing.
Logan suddenly realized that he didn't have a present for Bobby and mentally kicked himself. Fuck, now what?
"Jono found this cool site and bought some things. They should be delivered tomorrow. He acted like a real kid trying to pick a nice gift for Remy. That reminded me once again that he's only eighteen years old."
Logan affectionally caressed Bobby's half erect cock while his other hand was located near his lover's nipples, finally returning to pinching them. "Did ya get me a Christmas present, Drake?" he whispered seductively, grinding his groin against Bobby's ass.
"You wish you knew, but I won't tell you!" Bobby giggled. Yawning, he pulled Logan's hand away from his nipples and curled his fingers around it. "Sorry, Logan, but I'm sleepy and I still feel a little sore...maybe tomorrow morning?" He loved feeling Logan's cock thrust against his ass.
"I don't need the sex tonight, darlin'. I was just teasin' ya. Try to get some sleep."
"Thanks, love. I really want you to fuck me, but..." Bobby's eyes closed and he dozed off.
I want to fuck ya, Bobby, but not when ya feel sore... Great, now I've got to find a present for Bobby. Sighing, Logan decided he had to do some netsurfing as well. If that failed he'd have to become creative... not his best character trait.
///
As Scott got out of bed the next morning he felt wasted. He'd witnessed Jono's outburst last night and had wanted to talk to him when Bobby had appeared. He felt really bad about the tone he'd used during that conversation. When he'd found out that Remy had overheard every word he felt even worse.
He should have told Jono that he'd already made his decision, but he'd been curious to find out just how protective Jono felt of Remy. That had been a mistake. Why hadn't he told Jono that he wanted Remy to stay at the mansion? He would send Rogue and Joseph to the Academy to help Emma and Sean train the younger mutants.
The thing that had really upset him was hearing Remy's advice. I'm listening to my heart, Remy.
The only thing left to do was to tell the two parties. He didn't expect any problems when telling Remy and Jono he wanted them to stay, but Rogue and Joseph would give him a hard time and he had to mentally prepare himself for that confrontation. Luckily he still had a few more days to come up with a way of telling them.
But tonight it's Christmas Eve... And he was determined they'd all have a great evening. If necessary he'd add some extra alcohol to the punch.
Oh yeah, Bobby, Logan and Hank had offered to prepare Christmas dinner this year so no one would get in his way when he added some things to the punch and maybe they could talk Remy and Jono into decorating the tree. It would distract Remy and maybe make feel him more comfortable and welcome.
But first he was going to take a long hot shower.
///
"Remy! Jono! Wake up! It's Christmas!" Bobby banged hard on Remy's door.
Remy startled awake and felt strong arms wrapped around him, holding him tight. Panicking, he kicked and tugged wildly, but he lacked the strength to free himself. Panting hard, he fought for breath, and growing dizzy, his eyes became impossibly big. Lemme go! Please lemme go! But Sinister continued to hold him in place.
Jono's eyes flashed open, feeling Remy trash in his arms and the pleading in his mind took him back. He immediately released his lover and watched Remy fall off the bed, hard, then crawling over to the corner and cowering there.
"We need to decorate the Christmas tree and..." Bobby flashed a grin, hearing soft groans from inside Remy's room. "See you guys downstairs!" He ran down the stairs, eager to join his lover and Hank in the kitchen, completely unaware of the panic he'd caused.
Jono cringed seeing Remy like this. Bobby's unexpected visit had caused another flashback. Remy, it's me, Jono. It's okay. Bobby was banging on the door. Sinister ain't 'ere. He kept his distance and stayed in bed, seeing Remy bring up his arms to protect his face from the blows he expected. Come on, mush, yer safe.
Remy sobbed softly and finally found the courage to lower his arms. Looking about he realized he wasn't in his cell any longer. This was his room and the man in his bed wasn't Sinister, it was Jono.
Yer safe, luv, please try ter calm down. Slowly, Jono got to his feet and sank down on his knees a few feet away from Remy, gauging his lover's reaction.
Remy weakly nodded his head. Yes, he was safe... slowly his fear began to fade and was replaced by shame. I'm sorry, cher... when I heard dat bangin' and de loud voice...
It catapulted yer back ter yer cell, didn't it?
Oui, sorry cher, I can' seem to shake dese flashbacks... I don' wanna be like dis...
Jono moved closer and slowly wrapped his arms around Remy. Is this okay with yer, luv? Yer were thrashing when I woke up. Yer wanted me ter let go. Jono brushed Remy's forehead with his bandages, wishing he could bestow a real kiss on Remy's skin. He remained quiet, realizing that Remy needed time to compose himself.
Remy realized he was still trembling in Jono's arms and hoped his lover wouldn't take this the wrong way. I ain' scared of you, cher... mais...
Jono's fingers caressed Remy's face and briefly touched his lover's lips. It takes time ter 'eal, luv, but thankfully it's the one thing we 'ave in abandon. We 'ave all the time in the world. Don't push yerself and take the time yer need, mush. Jono wiped away Remy's tears. Let's get dressed, mush. The Christmas tree needs decorating.
Remy smiled through his tears. It seemed like he couldn't stop crying and he hated himself for being this emotional. I want to spend de rest of my life wit' yer, cher.
Uh, Jono gave Remy a curious look, uncertain if he should bring this up right now. I got yer a Christmas present, 'ope yer don't mind, luv.
Actually... Remy blushed. I got you somet'in' as well. Not'in' fancy or expensive, mais... Right now he felt relieved that he hadn't destroyed the drawing. At least now he had something to give Jono in return.
Jono released Remy and immediately mourned the loss. After rising from the floor he pulled Remy to his feet.
Where are we goin', cher?
I need ter get some clean clothes, luv and I left me duffel bag in me room. I'd better 'aul everything over 'ere as this is where I'm staying most of me time. I'll be right back, Remy.
Remy watched Jono leave and dragged his feet as he headed for the bathroom. Without looking at the mirror he turned on the shower. He only needed five minutes to shower and then returned to his bedroom to get dressed. During all the time he spent in the bathroom he avoided looking at his reflection in the mirror. He just couldn't look himself in the eyes, disgusted by what he'd find staring back at him.
Remy slipped into some faded jeans and a red sweater. After putting on some warm socks, he sat on his bed, waiting for Jono to return.
///
Jono knocked first, not wanting to barge into Remy's room like that. He felt Remy's unease and wondered what had caused it. Remy had to get used to being alone as he couldn't be with his lover all the time. Remy, I'm coming inside, okay?
Stepping into the room he found Remy sitting motionless on his bed and he knew what was going on. The flashback Remy had suffered had thrown him back into the behavior Sinister had engraved on him. It's okay ter do things yer want when yer want it. Yer don't need anyone's permission, Remy.
Remy flinched, knowing Jono was right, but he felt like he'd done something terribly wrong.
Jono gently took hold of Remy's right hand and pulled his lover to his feet. It takes time ter 'eal, remember that, luv.
Remy held on tightly and followed Jono downstairs. I remember walkin' here wit' Rogue...
Jono froze in his tracks, startled by the unexpected admission. Remy, why did yer say that?
Cause everyt'in's different now. I don' know if it's cause I'm an empath mais for the very first time I feel really loved. Not even poppa and tante made me feel like you do and Rogue... she never did.
Jono realized what a great compliment Remy had just given him. Pulling his lover close, they walked into the living room, where they met Bobby who had already erected their Christmas tree.
"Right on time! I need to help the guys in the kitchen so that leaves you to decorate our Christmas tree. Lights and ornaments are in the boxes." Bobby smiled, seeing them hold hands, but his smile faded a little, noticing the vulnerable expression in Remy's eyes. He quickly disappeared into the kitchen, sensing Remy and Jono needed some privacy.
Remy's eyes scanned the tree and he loved the fresh pine scent that drifted through the room. It's been nine years since I last decorated a Christmas tree. Tante wasn' home dat year... I always loved Christmas.
Jono handed Remy the lights and gestured him to get busy. We'll put the star on top last.
///
Logan looked up from chopping the potatoes and found that Bobby was eavesdropping. The door was ajar and Bobby was trying to steal some looks inside. "How's it going?"
"The tree will be just fine." Bobby closed the door and walked back to Logan. Hank was preparing the turkey and they had to prepare the side dishes and stuffing.
Hank caught Logan groping Bobby's ass and chuckled softly. Seeing Bobby blush, as Logan cupped his ass in the palms of his hands, amused Hank "You two better behave!"
"Can't keep my hands off of him!" Logan teased in return. "Looks good enough to eat!"
"I do hope you're referring to the turkey, Logan." Hank shoved the turkey into the oven and set the timer. "Robert, what plans did you make for the reminder of the day?"
"First we'll have a big brunch and then we'll veg out in front of the TV. I rented some movies."
"Comedies, I hope?" Hank didn't want Remy to grow upset because of some badly selected movie. "No kidnappings, no torture scenes?
Bobby shot Hank an indignant glance. "I'd never do that! Now let's get Remy and Jono. I'm hungry and Scott promised to prepare brunch in the dinning room!" Today was going to be a blast!
///
Scott had finished adding some alcohol to the punch when the rest of the team entered the dinning room. "The punch's ready." Scott caught Bobby's arched eyebrow.
"Slim, are you okay?" Bobby couldn't remember Scott being that concerned about their punch. Scott's smile baffled him.
"Let's eat. I'm hungry!" Scott served brunch and handed them their already filled plates. He froze, looking into Jono's eyes.
I'll back. I'm waiting for a delivery. Jono turned around and left the dinning room. He didn't want to face Scott, not now his anger was still so close to the surface and he hated watching everyone eat.
Seeing everyone's puzzled expression, Bobby explained. "He's expecting some Christmas presents."
Christmas presents? Remy quickly shielded his thoughts, but it was too late, seeing Bobby nod.
"Yeah, your Christmas presents, Remy." Bobby grinned and sat down next to Logan to eat brunch.
Now that Jono was gone, Remy grew uneasy. He sat down, slightly away from the others and simply stared at the piled up food on his place. Was he supposed to wait until someone gave him permission to start eating? During his time with Sinister he'd never been allowed to eat a single bite without the scientist's explicit permission. But these were his friends and weren't things supposed to be different now?
Bobby was about to say something to Remy, but Scott beat him to it.
"Remy, aren't you hungry?" Scott felt concerned, seeing Remy stare at the food instead of eating it.
"Oui, I'm hungry..." Remy said after remembering that Hank wanted him to talk aloud to exercise his jaw. "Mais...Sinister... he never lemme eat..."
"You can eat all you want." Scott placed his hand on Remy's.
Bobby noticed the gesture, which was very uncharacteristic for his friend, but didn't comment on it.
Remy's eyes widened at the touch, feeling Scott's concern and guilt; guilt for not going back to Antarctica to get him. Encouraged, Remy took a bite out of his sandwich. He never looked up and didn't notice the pleased expression on Scott's face.
///
Jono hurried to the front door after having spotted the delivery van on the security cams. He hoped they were bringing the stuff he'd ordered. Mentally, he prepared himself for the shock that would show on the man's face when he'd answer the door.
Resolutely, he opened the door after the bell rang and took out his notebook and a pen to write everything down.
"Oh fuck..."
Jono flinched, hearing the shocked man's words. It was always the same thing, the same reaction. Quickly he wrote down, 'I'm Jonothan Starsmore. I ordered the goods and will accept the delivery.'
The man nodded his head and handed him three packages, already gift wrapped.
Jono signed for the delivery and paid the man. He felt really thankful that Bobby had lent him the necessary money. He knew his credit card was somewhere in his duffel bag, but he'd been unable to find it. Hopefully he hadn't lost it on his way over here.
'Thanks,' he wrote down and after showing the notebook to the man, he closed the door, glad the encounter had gone rather smoothly. Oi, he hated seeing the pity or shock in their eyes!
Jono's mood improved as he carried the packages into the living room where he placed them beneath the tree. Bobby had assured him that Remy would love the presents and he hoped the other man was right.
Hopefully the others had finished brunch by now and he returned to the dinning room. Reaching out to Remy he felt the last echo of his lover's discomfort. Luckily a blanket of warm feelings covered the Cajun's fear and Jono realized he was feeling Hank, Bobby, Scott and Hank's feelings of friendship and concern for Remy. It takes time, he reminded himself.
///
Remy's eyes immediately sought out Jono's when the other man entered the dinning room. Jono, cher...
Jono sent a chuckle into Remy's mind. Everything's fine, luv. Lowering his shields, he allowed the others to receive his thoughts as well. Yer were really 'ungry, luv! Remy had emptied his plate.
Even sipped de orange juice slowly.
Hank cleared his throat. "Try to talk aloud, Remy."
Remy sighed, but obeyed. "De sandwiches tasted great."
Hank appreciated the effort. "That's it, Remy."
Bobby pushed his empty plate away and bounced to his feet. "Come on, it's movie time!"
"Movie time?" Remy had a hard time getting used to talking aloud again, but realized that Hank had made a valid point. He needed to exercise his jaw.
"Yeah!" Bobby grabbed Logan and Remy's hands and pulled them along.
Jono stayed close to Remy, always aware of his lover's discomfort just because Bobby had a hold on his wrist. Bobby's a friend, mush. Yer can trust 'im. 'e's just a bit too enthusiastic.
Hearing Jono's words soothed Remy and his eyes fastened on the three packages beneath the tree. Were they for him?
Yeah, luv.
"Come on, sit down! I rented two movies and a series. Hank should have dinner ready after we finished watching them!"
Hank let the remark slip, realizing that Scott would end up helping him putting the final touches to their dinner. Bobby had a tight hold on Logan and Hank suspected Bobby wouldn't let go for a long time!
Bobby allowed Remy to return to Jono's side and the two men settled down on the sofa. Scott chose the recliner and Hank the loveseat. After Bobby popped the vid into the VCR, he snuggled up to Logan on the other sofa.
"What movie did ya get?" Logan possessively curled an arm around Bobby's shoulders.
"Mister Bean goes to America." Bobby saw the puzzled glances. "Trust me, you'll love it!"
///
Jono looked down and wished he could still smile. Sometime during the movie Remy had lain down and his lover's head now rested in his lap. His fingers tangled gently in Remy's long locks and he felt completely at peace with the world. He couldn't remember ever feeling this complete. In Remy's mind, he felt a similar sense of contentment.
"Do you want something to drink, Remy? I need to check on the turkey and am headed for the kitchen anyway." Hank saw Remy's sleepy eyes and waited for the Cajun to reply.
Remy forced himself to push back memories of Sinister, who had offered food and drinks but never bringing them. "Tea would be nice."
Hank smiled, pleased that Remy had expressed his needs and disappeared into the kitchen.
Logan shook his head as Bobby replaced the video tape. "Now what?"
"Scrooge, with Tom Hanks, gotta stay in the Christmas spirit!" Bobby snuggled back up to Logan and gave Jono a wink, cocking his head toward the three presents.
Jono nodded his head, feeling nervous and hoping that Remy would like his gifts.
///
After watching several episodes from 'Friends', Hank announced that dinner was ready to be served.
Scott helped Hank carry the food into the dinning room and carried the punch over to the table as well. Then he returned to Jono and Remy in the living room. "You should wake him now." Sometime during the Friends episodes Remy had fallen asleep.
Jono exchanged a concerned look with Scott. 'e's always tired.
"He's only been back with us for a week, Jono. You've got to remember that he needs to make up for a lot of sleep. Sinister never let him sleep undisturbed."
Jono's eyes softened as he looked at his lover, who was sound asleep. Pulling Remy's mind closer he wrapped his lover up in warm thoughts, not wanting to scare Remy awake. Remy, dinner's ready, wake up.
What? Jono? Cher? His eyes opened and immediately locked with Jono's. For one terrible moment he hadn't known where he was.
Christmas dinner's ready, he reminded Remy. Can yer get ter yer feet?
Slightly embarrassed, Remy struggled to his feet. Did I sleep t'rough de movies?
Part of them. Jono twined their fingers and followed Scott into the dinning room, dreading the next few hours. He'd have to watch them eat again.
"Please sit down," Hank said invitingly and waited until everyone was seated. He carved the turkey and handed everyone their plates. "We've got mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, peas and corn and ice cream as dessert."
Remy stared again at his plate, realizing just how much he'd been eating these days. When he'd been with Sinister he'd never gotten to eat this much food. "Cher?" His gaze traveled to Jono and his stomach contracted, realizing that Jono couldn't eat any of the foods. Maybe he shouldn't eat anything either?
Don't yer dare doing that! Yer need the calories, luv, dig in! Jono fumbled with the napkin and suddenly found they were all staring at him. Wot?
"Does it make you uncomfortable? I never thought... considered..." Scott gave Jono an apologetic look.
I'll never get used ter watching people eat... Jono shrugged his shoulders.
Bobby jumped up from his chair. "Wait here! I know something that might cheer you up!" Bobby dashed out of the dinning room.
"Don't look at me!" Logan scowled. "I don't know what he's up to!"
"Start eating!" Hank set the example and dug in, followed by Logan and Scott.
It's okay, luv, I know yer 'ungry. Start eating, yer 'eard the man!
Remy sighed, but then ate some of the turkey and mashed potato. For some reason he felt guilty that he could eat and Jono couldn't.
Jono received Remy's thoughts and decided they needed to talk about this later. Empty that plate, luv. Yer need ter gain weight!
Bobby returned and immediately noticed the suffocating atmosphere. "Here, I know it's a bit early..." but it would distract them from Jono's inability to eat.
A present? For me? Surprised, Jono stared at the package Bobby had placed in front of him. Running his fingers over the wrapping, he felt something hard beneath it. Is it a book?
Scott gave Bobby a thankful look. Suddenly the mood had changed for the better. They were eating dinner and Jono was stalling opening the present.
Jono placed the present back on the table and wondered how long ago it had been that someone had given him a present without really knowing him. He'd only known Bobby a few weeks and yet the other man had bought him a Christmas present!
"Open it, cher."
Bobby returned Remy's smile, glad he'd been able to put that smile there. "Yeah, open it, Jono..."
Logan smelled the sudden pheromones on Bobby and wondered what was going on. The look that Bobby gave him convinced Logan that it was going to be a long night! Maybe he'll wanna use my gift then... He chuckled privately.
Jono finally gave in and tore away the paper. It was a book all right! The joys of gay sex? Thanks, mate! I somehow lost it when I moved from Great-Britain ter the US. I'm sure it will come in 'andy!
Bobby felt a little disappointed now that he'd failed to embarrass Jono. The other man wasn't even blushing, but as his gaze traveled to Remy he found the Cajun blushing instead. Jono started flipping some pages, occasionally showing Remy something and Bobby giggled seeing Remy's blush turn to crimson.
Cher, please... I'm tryin' to eat dinner. I t'ought you wanted me to eat dinner! I can' eat lookin' at... can two men really do dat? Remy quickly averted his eyes.
Sure they can, Jono teased his lover, but sensing Remy's growing unease he closed it again. Thanks, Bobby. I'm sorry but I don't 'ave a present for yer.
"Don't worry about it... But maybe I should mention I expect a birthday present?"
"You'll get one, mon ami." Remy didn't really know how to act, so he stared at his plate. He knew Bobby meant well, but the book confronted him with the fact that he was still keeping Jono at a distance.
"It's time for ice cream!" Bobby winked at Hank and together they carried the dessert from the kitchen to the dinning room.
Remy stared at the chocolate ice cream, topped with whipped cream. When he had he last eaten something so sweet?
Jono chuckled mentally, seeing Remy dig in. This time the Cajun didn't wait for permission to start eating and Jono hoped Remy would start taking the initiative more often. Opening the book again he saw two men making love, the one on the bottom had thrown his legs over the other man's shoulders and Jono felt himself grow hard, imaging making love to Remy. Interesting question... who would end up on top?
On top?
Oh, fuck, Remy 'eard that! Fighting down a sudden rush of panic he reached out to his lover. Remy, I didn't mean it like that! I was just wondering... I ain't expecting yer ter 'ave sex with me when yer ain't ready... I'm such a fuckup. Sorry, luv, I...
Jono, cher... calm down... I never t'ought 'bout us 'aving sex like dat. I never had a male lover and I never t'ought 'bout toppin' and bottomin'.
Yer know the terms though...
I lived on the streets, cher... I know a lot...
A chilly feeling crept through Jono's mind and he established eye-contact with his lover. Luckily he'd shielded their thoughts once he'd realized he'd upset Remy. Luv, yer ain't telling me that some creep...
Remy suddenly realized what horrible conclusion Jono had reached and grabbed his lover's hand, ignoring the puzzled stares he was getting. Cher, no one abused me or touched me 'again my wish. Even as I kid I knew how to fight off de perverts. You just surprised me, wonderin' who'd be toppin'. I t'ought I had plenty of time 'fore I'd have to figure dat one out.
"Remy, Jono? Is everything alright?" Bobby hoped his present hadn't caused the sudden change of expression in both men's eyes.
"We're bien," Remy said softly. "Bein' wit' Jono is new and I never..."
Bobby understood what had happened. "You didn't think about having sex yet. I'm sorry, Remy, I don't want to push or pressure you in whatever way."
"Bobby, you meant well. No damage done..." Remy smiled, trying to show Bobby everything was fine.
"The ice cream!" Hank reminded them that the ice was almost melting. He smiled, seeing that Jono and Remy were holding hands now, leaving Remy only his right hand to eat the ice.
Logan leaned back. "That was an awesome dinner, Blue. Ya outdid yerself with the turkey and now I have to haul my ass upstairs to get the presents."
"What presents?" Bobby locked eyes with his lover.
"Ya'll find out soon enough, Drake," Logan said teasingly and excused himself. Just as he wanted to leave the room Remy's voice called him back.
"Wait... I need to get my present for Jono as well..." He didn't want to walk the deserted corridors alone, recalling how Creed had appeared out of nowhere.
Logan smelled the fear on Remy and nodded his head. "Okay, let's do this."
"Why don't we move the punch to the living room and then we'll unwrap some presents." Scott lifted the punch bowl and carried it into the living room. It'd become a tradition to open the present on Christmas Eve. He didn't remember how and when that tradition had started, but they had honored it for years.
///
"Would you mind waitin' here so I can get my present?"
Logan nodded his head. He'd figured that Remy wanted him close. Go get it. I'll wait here in the corridor."
Remy hurried inside and collected the drawing. When he'd been alone earlier that night he'd framed the drawing and wrapped it up with some old wrapping paper. "Ready..." He felt relieved finding Logan in the corridor as he still didn't feel up to walking through the mansion alone.
"I still need to fetch mine. Are ya comin' 'long?"
Remy followed Logan to his room and nervously shuffled his feet while Logan located the presents. He noticed that it was the same wrapping paper Jono had used to wrap his presents.
Together they made their way back to the living room. Remy clutched the drawing tightly, hoping Jono would like his gift.

Go on to Part2

Back to Damaged