Title: The eyes of a child
Author: Morgana (morganalebeau@yahoo.com)
Website: http://www.oocities.org/morganalebeau/
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The eyes of a child 9 - Sinister
By Morgana
I no longer care. I just don' care what's goin' to happen to me. Life lost all meanin' after Belle died. Jean-Luc collected her body and personally escorted her back home. Alt'ough he had to leave shortly after arrivin', I could tell by the look in his eyes dat he didn' want to leave. I miss havin' him close and I felt a similar loneliness in his mind. Jean-Luc wanted me close as well, mais it was his duty to take Belle back to N'Awlins, leavin' me alone 'gain.
Belle died in my arms four weeks ago and I still can' stop mournin' her deat'. I loved her and losin' her broke my heart. I guess I always hoped we would find a way to be toget'er again. I should have known I wouldn' be dat lucky.
How am I goin' to cope alone?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A violent explosion rocked the peaceful landscape and Remy tried to control the kinetic energy that was leaking into the cards through his fingertips. He had returned to the USA a few days ago and the first thing he had done was leave San Antonio. The kinetic energy was getting harder to control and he couldn't endanger people's lives.
For the last few days he had been living like a hermit, seeking refuge in the deserted countryside. Here, he couldn't hurt anyone and it became easier to accept that his powers were out of control. The more miserable he felt, the stronger the kinetic energy became and it needed a way out. He was getting desperate, wondering how much time he had until he blew himself up. The question was, did he want to continue living? He had lost everything and there was nothing left to fight for. Why not let the kinetic energy consume him, let it out and burn him up like a new-born star?
Looking at the crater he had just created, he realized that he couldn't survive much longer. He was already shaking with new energy and it would burn him to cinder if he didn't offer it a way out.
"Gambit?"
Remy's head jerked back, trying to focus on his visitor. Who the hell knew he was here in the first place? Not even Jean-Luc knew his whereabouts! Shaking, he managed to identify the man standing in front of him. "Grey Crow?"
Scalphunter nodded his head. Gambit only knew him by that alias. "Yeah, it's me. You look like shit, Gambit."
Remy shivered; it wouldn't be long until another crater would join the first. "Oui, feelin' sick, mon ami." He had worked with Grey Crow on a few occasions and the man had even watched his back when he had stolen some items for his boss, Sinister. He didn't know much about Sinister, only that the man paid well and the objects that Sinister wanted stolen presented a good challenge.
Scalphunter advanced on the thief, who was clutching the windowsill, trying to stay on his knees on the bed so he could throw a charged object outside. The first explosion hadn't surprised him. The last time he had seen Gambit the thief had seemed volatile at best. "What's going on?" He had to proceed carefully; Sinister would be howling mad if he failed to take the Cajun to the scientist's lab.
"You'd betta leave..." Remy's voice trembled and he reached for another card. The energy flowed into the card and he threw it. It exploded in mid-air, much too close to his shelter. "Out of control." He shouldn't give his weaknesses away, he vividly remembered that lesson from when he had been a hustler on the streets, but he was too far gone to pretend. The empathy and the charging power were draining him, leaving him unable to think rationally.
"I know someone who can help you." Scalphunter took in the thief's appearance. Gambit looked bad; his powers were consuming him.
Remy laughed bitterly. "No one can help me..." Mon Dieu, the energy was building again!
"I'm sure Sinister can help you, if you let him." Scalphunter made his move, offering Remy the bait. "You look like you're burning up inside, Gambit. Let Sinister check on you. He's a scientist and probably the only one who can help you."
"Never trusted your boss," Remy whispered. His fingertips burned and he grabbed the blanket that partly covered him. Releasing his kinetic energy, it flowed into the blanket. When he threw it outside, the explosion almost knocked his guest off his feet. "I don' want his help."
"Doesn't look like you've got a choice, Gambit." Scalphunter moved closer, offering Remy his hand. "Let's get you out of here."
Remy was confused; his empathy reflected his feelings over and over again, until he lost himself in them. He had just released a large quantity of energy and wouldn't need to charge anything for some time. "I ain' sure..." But Scalphunter had grabbed his wrist and was now pulling him to his feet. He swayed, but the other man caught him. You should let me die here... But a part of him was still fighting for survival. It was the same part that had kept him going when he had found Philippe's corpse after Hugo had raped him. His survival instincts were too strong and he accepted the other man's help.
The alien eyes closed and Scalphunter dragged Gambit over to his jeep, sat him down in the passenger's seat and buckled the Cajun up. That last release had exhausted Gambit, who was now asleep. However, the Cajun's fingertips were still glowing and he kept his distance, quickly keying the ignition. Sinister would be pleased that he had successfully accomplished his mission!
///
"Finally." Sinister grinned. "After all these years he's finally in my laboratory." Circling his prey, he wished the red on black eyes would open, but they stayed closed. "Remy LeBeau," he whispered the name, tasting it. "Gambit." That was the name Remy had gone by this last year and the thief was going to give him what he wanted willingly.
The first thing he had done after Remy had arrived at his lab was to put a Genoshan collar on him. He wanted Remy stable and controllable before operating on him. The empathy had gotten too strong to control and he had to neutralize Remy's powers for now. "You're much stronger than I ever thought you would be. Too strong..."
Remy's eyelids fluttered and he opened his eyes. The heavy weight of the collar and the strange surroundings caused him to panic and he tried to sit upright. His head was reeling and he felt weak and dizzy. Finally, he realized that he wasn't alone and at the same time he began clawing the collar, trying to remove it.
"Don't," Sinister advised. "Your powers are out of control. The collar is the only thing that is keeping you from burning up."
Startled, Remy stared at Sinister. He had seen Grey Crow's boss from a distance once, but had never met him one on one. "I don' care. Remove it!"
"No," Sinister said firmly. "I want you alive." Alive and well.
"Why?" Shivers ran down his spine, looking Sinister in the eyes. The man towered over him and radiated a sense of total control that frightened him.
"I can help you, but it involves brain surgery. I'll have to remove some cells from your brain stem. After I do that your powers should be controllable." Naked fear and dread stared back at him from Remy's eyes. The mutant was terrified. Good, he would use that fear to his advantage. "You're a fighter, a survivor, you don't want to die. Think about the grief you will cause your family when you die. They'll be so shocked to hear about your death. You don't want to put them through that, do you?"
Remy shook his head. He was tired, dizzy and Sinister's words made sense. "Why? Why help me?"
"I can always use a Guild master thief, Gambit. You'll be my thief." That was only part of the whole truth. "Work for me, steal for me and I'll give you back control over your powers." Patiently, Sinister waited for Remy's decision.
His heart was beating wildly and he was damned scared that he was making the worst mistake of his life, but Sinister was right. He was a survivor, a fighter and he didn't want Jean-Luc to collect his son's dead body after he had had to take Belle home. "I'll work for you."
"Excellent!" Sinister grinned. "Now I must leave you and prepare for surgery." Taking hold of a syringe, he placed the tip against Remy's skin and pressed the needle beneath the flesh. Seeing Remy's panicked expression, he explained. "It's a sedative and it will help you calm down. Hopefully I can operate on you within the hour." He watched Remy's pupils dilate; the drug was already working its way through Remy's system. "Don't fight it."
But Remy was fighting it, suddenly afraid that he had sold his soul. He didn't know where the fear was coming from, but his whole being urged him to get away from Sinister. Maybe it was the eyes... Red eyes, so much like his own. "Who... are... you?" he stuttered the words while dozing off.
Sinister laughed softly, turned away from his patient and left to prepare for the surgery.
///
An hour later, Sinister returned as promised. The sedative was still keeping Remy immobile, but he managed to open his eyes. Remy flinched, as Sinister's gaze met his and he closed his eyes again. Sinister's red eyes distressed him.
"We can proceed," Sinister announced and walked up to the head of the exam table Remy was lying on. He pushed the exam table toward the doorway, actually looking forward to performing brain surgery after such a long time!
Remy was terrified and wished he could still cry out, but he had lost the ability to produce sounds, let alone words. Paralyzed, he could merely wait as Sinister placed him on the operating table. Warm lights made his skin tingle and he kept his eyes pinched shut.
"Breathe in deeply," Sinister ordered, placing an oxygen mask over Remy's mouth and nose.
Remy obeyed, not having a choice in the matter. He flinched violently as another needle buried itself beneath his skin. The room began to spin and he felt nauseous. Darkness descended on to him and he lost consciousness.
///
His mouth tasted like cotton and swallowing hurt too badly. His head felt heavy and he barely had the strength to move at all, so he tried to remain motionless. What had happened? What was the last thing he remembered?
Sinister... Sinister had performed brain surgery on him! The weight around his neck was gone; did that mean Sinister had finally removed the Genoshan collar? He raised his right hand to determine whether the collar was really gone or still there. Touching his throat, he realized it was gone indeed.
"Gambit, open your eyes. Look at me!"
The loud voice made him cringe and a terrible migraine was building behind his temples.
"Gambit, I know that you're awake and that you can hear me. I need you to open your eyes now!" Sinister was getting worried. Although the surgery had gone according to plan, brain surgery was always risky.
After struggling with his eyelids for a few seconds, Remy managed to half open his eyes. Sinister was hovering above him, checking on IV's and the monitors he was hooked up to.
"Do you remember my name?" Sinister wanted to make sure Remy hadn't suffered any brain damage.
"Si...nis...ter." Whispering the answer took most of Remy's strength and his eyes began to close again.
"Good. What's your name? Answer me!" Remy was falling asleep again and the latest CAT scans indicated that his patient's brain activity was normal.
"Re... my..." Totally exhausted, Remy fell asleep again.
Sinister nodded his head. The surgery had been successful. Remy's strength had been reduced and hopefully the thief's powers would stay that way. But he couldn't dismiss the possibility that they would grow strong again one day. Should that happen, he might have to resort to more drastic measures, but he was content for now. By taking away cells from the brain stem he had obtained a large source of DNA to experiment with. After nineteen years he could finally conduct his tests and if he ever ran out of DNA material again, he would know where to find Remy LeBeau. He would keep an eye on Remy for the rest of his life.
///
The next time Remy woke up, he felt less dizzy. To his embarrassment he discovered that he was hooked up to a catheter, as well as the IV's. He was obviously confined to bed and had to wait for Sinister to make another appearance.
Running a hand through his hair, he froze. His fingertips probed his scalp and found minor scars from the surgery. Sinister had shaved off some of his hair, leaving a bald spot at the back of his neck. He could easily disguise it by letting the top layer of his locks cover up the bald spot, but it felt weird, reminding him the surgery had really happened.
His eyes searched the white ceiling and then he took in the medical equipment he was hooked up. What was that IV feeding him? Was Sinister still administering a sedative to him? Was that why he felt queasy and confused?
Unexpectedly, the door opened and Sinister stepped inside. "Good, you're awake. We need to talk." He came to a halt at the foot end of Remy's bed and studied his patient. "You'll be bedridden for a few more days."
"What... are you... pumpin' into me?" Remy panted softly after finishing his question. He couldn't believe how weak he felt!
"A strong sedative. I don't want you trying to get to your feet and walking about. You need rest and this way I can make sure you'll stay in bed. I can take you off the medication in a few days." Remy was recovering slowly, as was to be expected after having had major surgery.
"De collar... is gone... It worked?" It frustrated Remy that speaking cost him this much energy. He wanted to hide his weakness, but lacked the strength to do that.
"Yes, it worked." Sinister indulged himself and fingered a lock of soft hair. "You'd better rest now. Once you're back on your feet I want you to steal certain items for me."
Remy weakly nodded his head. Oui, Sinister had made it a condition that he would work for the scientist in order to pay him back for his help. Closing his eyes, he listened to Sinister's retreating footsteps. He was tempted to rip the IV's from his arm, but doubted Sinister would let him get away with it. Sinister would probably restrain him if he pulled such a stunt. Non, it was better to cooperate.
Now that he had decided not to fight Sinister for the time being, he released a strangled sigh and allowed himself to fall asleep again.
///
"Here, I brought you something to eat." Sinister handed Remy a bowl filled with soup. "How do you feel today?" Forty-eight hours after surgery Remy was still shaky and even running a slight fever.
Remy's hands shook as he tried to wrap his fingers around the bowl. Merde, he was going to spill it all over the bed! His hands dropped back onto the bed, unable to take hold of the bowl.
Seeing that his patient was still unable to feed himself, Sinister placed the bowl at Remy's lips and encouraged him to swallow some tomato soup. "You need the nutrients and fluids," he reminded the thief. He might have to insert a feeding tube if Remy was unable to keep the soup down.
Remy blushed, feeling utterly embarrassed that Sinister had to feed him. When he had been a kid it had been hard to accept Jean-Luc's help, but he had managed to grow comfortable with the idea that Jean-Luc was taking care of him because the man loved him, but Sinister... the scientist gave him the creeps.
Remy managed to empty the bowl and had to admit he enjoyed the soup, was even hoping there was more. "When can I leave my bed?"
"Patience," Sinister chided him. "You can't even feed yourself; that should tell you something, and you're running a fever, which you didn't have before." There was even a possibility of infection.
"Why are you doin' dis?" Why was Sinister feeding him personally? From what Grey Crow had told him Sinister was powerful and surely had people working for him that could tend to his needs.
"I have a special interest in you... I want you alive and well." Sinister considered how much to tell Remy.
Remy tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. "Why?"
Sinister decided to distract his nosey patient. "Here's a list of objects that I want you to obtain for me after you healed." He placed the sheet of paper on Remy's chest so the thief could study it.
"Dat's mostly medical equipment... a high-tech laser... I can get dose t'ings for you." Thankful for the distraction, he tried to lock out Sinister's presence, but failed. At times, he felt the scientist's mind too close to his own; the man most certainly possessed telepathic abilities and he tried to guard his own thoughts well.
Sinister carefully plotted his next move, knowing Gambit was his for the moment, but the time would come when the thief would try to get away from him. He could worry about that later.
///
Remy cringed from embarrassment when Sinister removed the catheter from his penis. Although Sinister's touches were clinical and bereft of emotion, he couldn't help but flash back to the time when he had been living on the streets. Stop it! Sinister doesn' know you were a whore once! But that thought didn't reassure him.
Finally, the offending catheter was gone and he quickly pulled the sheet back in place. Sinister could have given him a medical gown at least! But no, he was butt naked!
"Maybe I'll let you leave your bed tomorrow," Sinister announced, while studying the results from a brain scan he had run on Remy. "How are you feeling?"
Remy considered lying, but the monitors would tell the scientist the truth. "Weak, mais betta. Can' I try walkin' today?"
"No," Sinister replied firmly. "You'll rest another 24 hours."
Sinister puzzled him. From the things Grey Crow had told him, he had gathered that Sinister was ruthless and incapable of emotion and yet the scientist was almost fussing over him! Why, why me? Why fuss over me?
"Try to sleep some more," Sinister advised. Remy had just eaten breakfast and now that the nausea was gone, the young man was keeping everything down.
Remy shivered as Sinister's cold hands smoothed back his locks to check on the scars, which the surgery had left behind.
"The infection seems gone. The antibiotics are working." Pleased, Sinister brushed the locks back over the bald spot and checked Remy's eyes. They were lucid and clear. "I'll be back in a few hours to bring you lunch, but for now I want you to sleep."
Remy closed his eyes, eager to appear cooperative, knowing Sinister would inject some sleeping meds into the IV port if he objected. Listening to the retreating footsteps, he sighed, releasing some of the tension that had been building during Sinister's visit. He just didn't trust the scientist. He surrendered to a peaceful sleep, letting his mending body rest.
///
Remy was excited; Sinister was finally allowing him to leave the bed! He didn't know where to go, as he was unfamiliar with the layout of Sinister's lab, but just being on his feet seemed like heaven! He was standing at the side of his bed, feet planted firmly on the floor as he tried his first steps. Mon Dieu, he felt as weak as a new born. He swayed and would have fallen, if it hadn't been for Sinister, who caught him.
Embarrassed, he averted his eyes. Sinister's hold was tight and told him that the scientist didn't plan on releasing him.
"Just a few steps. Don't overestimate your strength, Gambit." Sinister helped Remy to cover the distance to the chair in the corner of the room and assisted him as the young man sat down.
Remy was panting softly, terrified at how weak he really was. He wouldn't be able to walk unaided for another few days. Again, it surprised him that Sinister was taking care of him personally. The scientist seemed worried, seemed to care, but that was an illusion. Sinister wasn't capable of feelings any longer. Briefly, he was tempted to reach out empathically, but Sinister would immediately detect the attempt to probe his mind, so he abandoned the idea.
"Can I sit here a li'l longer?" Remy didn't want to return to his bed.
Sinister nodded his head. "I'll leave you for a short time and then I'll help you back to your bed. You're still recovering from surgery."
Remy rested his head against the soft fabric of the chair and closed his eyes. "Merci." He sighed relieved after Sinister had left the room. The scientist's presence made him uncomfortable and he was always relieved to be alone again.
What did I get myself into dis time? Oui, I can control my powers 'gain, mais now I owe him. I can steal de t'ings on dat list, mais will it stop after dat? What if he'll never let me go? Sinister had a terrible hold over him.
///
"I brought you some clothes. Your armor is in the suitcase under the bed, as well as your other personal belongings, which Scalphunter found when he searched your shelter." Sinister placed underwear, jeans, shirt, sweater and socks on the side of Remy's bed.
"Scalphunter?" Remy searched his memory. "I don' know anyone by dat name."
"Grey Crow..." Sinister felt pleased today. The first experiments he had performed on Remy's DNA were coming along nicely and he could finally continue manipulating the gene pool.
Remy stared at the clothes, determined to wait for Sinister to leave before changing into them. "What's gonna happen next?" Sinister was in control right now and calling the shots. He didn't mind stealing for Sinister, feeling terribly relieved that the scientist wasn't forcing him to perform any sexual favors. The reason why Sinister was taking care of him still eluded him, but the man obviously didn't want his ass, which had been his greatest fear.
"You'll stay here until you're able to return to your normal routine. I suggest you start working out in the gymnasium downstairs. Certain sections are off limits to you. I asked Scalphunter to show you around and he'll join you for the workouts. Within the week you should be able to venture out for the first time. Again, Scalphunter will accompany you outside."
I'm his prisoner... he's keepin' me on a leash and Scalphunter will be watchin' every move I make. I should never have agreed to let him operate on me. I'd rat'er be dead dan his possession. But it was too late now. He had made his decision and he had said yes to this deal. I'll steal everyt'in' on dat list and den I'm outta here.
///
The next few days were hard on him. He started to work out, finding that he was quickly running out of breath, but after a week he was ready to go outside and prepare for his first mission, just as Sinister had promised. Scalphunter was constantly at his side and he was beginning to loathe the man, seeing a sadistic side to him he had never witnessed before.
The first theft had gone smoothly and Sinister had praised him. Remy crossed the first thing off of his list and worked methodically until he had reached the last item, the high-tech laser. He had needed Scalphunter to watch his back on that one, but he managed to pull it off and presented the laser to Sinister, who was almost purring with pleasure. "Dat's de last t'ing on your list."
"Very true," Sinister acknowledged. Now it was time to bait Remy again, offering the thief the one thing he couldn't decline. "I want you to perform one last service for me."
Remy shook his head. "Non, we had a deal and I lived up to my part of de bargain. I'm outta here." Playing with his cards, ready to charge them in case Sinister tried blocking his path, he moved toward the doorway. He hated the fact that Sinister always wanted to meet in a church; each time he was reminded of the fact that he didn't belong here, that people on the streets had called him the devil's son or Le Diable Blanc.
"One last assignment," Sinister whispered from the shadows. "I know your price."
Remy halted in his tracks. "What are you talkin' about?"
"Do this for me and I'll tell you about your parents... I'll tell you about your mother, about the man that stole you from the hospital when you were only one hour old... I know everything. You want to know the truth, don't you, Gambit?" Sinister grinned, while playing his trump. Remy turned around and looked him in the eyes. "It's the truth, Gambit. I know who you really are. Don't you want to know? Yes, you're dying to know the truth."
Remy knew Sinister was playing him, but... "You really know what happened?"
"Yes, I do and I will tell you." Sinister's red eyes flashed dangerously in the shadows. "One more assignment and you'll know the truth."
"What do you want me to do?" He hated the fact that his voice was trembling, but he couldn't hide his desire to know the truth, he was desperate to know his parents.
"Here's a list." Sinister handed Remy a sheet of paper. "I want you to gather these men and lead the Marauders into the Morlock tunnels."
Remy sucked in his breath. He had heard about the Morlocks. "What do you want from dem?" Studying the names on the paper, he flinched. Dey're killers... Sabretoot's probably de worst!
"I need their DNA for my experiments," Sinister lied. "You'll capture certain individuals and take them to my laboratory. I'll release them again after I've completed my tests."
Mais if dat's de trut' why do you need dese killers? A sinking sensation in his stomach told him to decline, but his need to know the truth about his parents was stronger. "Nobody will be hurt?"
Sinister shook his head, lying again. He wanted to eradicate the Morlocks, wipe them off the face of the Earth.
Remy wasn't sure what to do and flipped a card... The ace of spades... a bad omen. "I'll do it. Now tell me 'bout my parents!"
"Oh no," Sinister whispered. "I'll tell you after you completed the mission."
Goosebumps formed on Remy's skin, but he was in no position to argue. Turning his back on Sinister, he left the church to gather the Marauders.
///
Creed gave him the creeps. The man was stalking behind him, never letting him out of sight as he led the Marauders through the Morlocks' tunnels.
"Ya know yer way around, boy," Creed sneered, enjoying smelling the fear on the thief. He had been present when Sinister had briefed Gambit, but the thief didn't know that Sinister had given him a different set of instructions and he was looking forward to finally starting the slaughter.
"I came to New York a few weeks ago and befriended de Morlocks. Dey trust me." Remy's voice was a mere whisper and yet still it carried through the tunnels. He loathed himself for doing this to the Morlocks. As far as he could tell the Morlocks were a peaceful people, scared of being killed the moment they ventured onto the surface.
Creed laughed, amused. "They trust you? Dumb fools."
The words stung. "Keep dose claws to yourself, Creed. Sinister wants dem alive for his experiments. Nobody will be harmed!" He was in charge of this operation and he had better use that to his advantage.
Creed's eyes danced with mirth, letting Gambit believe he was in charge.
"We're approachin' de main hall. Dis is where dey gather at night." Remy sneaked through the darkness; his eyes providing him with excellent night vision. Looking over his shoulder, he stared at the Marauders... the killers. "Remember, Sinister wants dem alive!" His self-hatred was growing and he almost felt nauseous, now that he was betraying the Morlocks who trusted him.
Creed sniffed the air. "They're close all right." It was time to assume command. "Scalphunter, grab the boy and make sure he doesn't get in our way."
Remy stared at Creed in disbelief. "What?" Suddenly Scalphunter's arms folded around him, immobilizing him.
Scalphunter placed a gun against Gambit's temple, tightening his hold on the thief. "Try anything and you're dead."
Remy's eyes had grown big, trying to understand what was happening. "What are you doin', Creed?"
"Sinister gave me different instructions, Cajun. You led the lambs to the slaughter..." Creed purred, taking in his preys' scents and moved forward. "Sinister wants them dead!" The Marauders followed Creed as he flung himself at the crowd. The shocked Morlocks were utterly defenseless and went down one by one.
Horrified, Remy stared at Creed and the Marauders, who were slitting throats and slaughtering the Morlocks. "Lemme go!" Helplessly, he tried to shake off Scalphunter, but the other man held on tight. "I've got to help dem!"
Scalphunter understood perfectly. "You're staying here. Sinister wants them dead and you're not crossing him." If he let Remy go, the Cajun would fight the Marauders, try to stop them. "Sinister knew you wouldn't go along with the killing, so he didn't tell you, let you believe he just wanted them for their DNA. He hates these degenerated creatures and wants them terminated. They're weak and contaminating his gene pool."
The cries of the dying Morlocks echoed in his ears and their pain was getting harder to block. "Spare de chil'ren! Don' kill de bébés! Dey're innocents!" He hardly noticed the tears that were flowing down his cheeks as their pain mingled with his. Unable to stay on his feet any longer, he went down on to his knees, swaying dangerously.
Scalphunter didn't expect Gambit to collapse and lost his hold on the Cajun. A glowing card exploded in front of his face, blinding him. A series of punches delivered to his mid-section knocked him off his feet and he was unable to stop Gambit as the thief ran toward the dying Morlocks to protect them.
"Creed, leave dem 'lone! You fuckin' bastard!" Remy extended his bo staff and it impacted with Creed's skull, hard and unyielding. Delivering another blow to Creed's head, Remy moved out of reach of the lethal claws. "Stop it! Marauders, listen to me, stop!" But no one listened and the slaughter continued.
Tears were now running freely down his face, blurring his vision as the Morlocks' pain and terror battered down his defenses. The dark stench of death invaded his mind and he froze, sharing the pain of their deaths and horror. A terrible pain swept through him as Creed's claws buried themselves in his chest. Blood flowed from the wounds and he collapsed, almost losing consciousness in the process, but the Morlocks' misery was keeping him conscious, forcing him to share their pain.
"Yer damn lucky Sinister wants ya alive, boy," Creed sneered, licking Remy's blood from his claws. "Enjoy the rest of the show!"
Remy was fighting for his breath, as the pressure on his chest increased. All around him Morlocks were dying and there was nothing he could do to stop the massacre! This was his fault! He had led the Marauders here when his instincts had warned him against it!
A soft moan coming from his right alerted him and he managed to roll onto his side to check on the source of the sound. He stared into a girl's eyes, bones sticking out her body. The poor child was paralyzed with fear, staring at the corpse that had fallen on top of her.
I have to help her... Summoning his last strength, he managed to crawl toward her. Using his empathy to reassure her, he extended his hand, which she accepted. Seeing that Creed and the Marauders were busy slaughtering the remaining Morlocks, he pulled the girl to him and nearly fainted from the pain that radiated through his chest.
"Hold on," he whispered, hoping the girl knew he was trying to help her. Carrying her, he headed for one of the tunnels that would take them to the surface. "Don' let go, petite." He could literally see the light at the end of the tunnel; they were so close to the surface! Staggering, he managed a few more steps, before collapsing again. "You have to run, petite, make it to safety." But the girl was clinging to him. "Go, petite. I can' go any furt'er."
"Where do ya think yer going, Cajun?"
Creed! "Get movin', petite!" Remy pried her hands loose from his clothes and pushed her toward the exit. She finally seemed to understand and started running. "Bien... at least I saved one..." He screamed his pain when the claws slashed open his back. Creed turned him onto his back, straddling his hips. There was nothing remotely human left in the madman's face and Remy hoped Creed would end it quickly. He deserved to die for what he had done to the Morlocks!
"They're all dead now," Creed purred, while running a claw down Remy's face. "You did a great job, boy."
Remy was paralyzed and unable to respond. Jus' end it!
"Creed, back off!"
Remy recognized the voice at once. Sinister! The scientist revealed himself, leaving the shadows behind him. Staring into the burning red eyes, Remy shivered uncontrollably. Sinister had set him up! Had manipulated him! How he hated the man!
Creed growled. "I wanna finish him off!"
"No, leave us, Creed! Join the Marauders... now!" Sinister's voice took on a dangerous tone. "Don't challenge me!"
Creed slowly backed off, got to his feet and glared at Sinister. "You'd betta finish him off, or I will the next time I meet the rat." Turning his back on them, he marched down the tunnel to join the others.
"Why?" Remy's body still refused to move and he was grateful he could form the word. "Why?"
Sinister advanced on him and cocked his head. Looking down at the fallen man, he said, "I killed your mother after she gave birth to you. Her blood was still warm when I held you in my arms."
Non... non! Shocked, Remy stared at Sinister. You killed my mère? He could barely understand what Sinister had just revealed to him. You killed my mère? Unable to speak the words, he concentrated on his thoughts, knowing that Sinister could read his mind. Why? Why kill her? Tears were swimming in his eyes, but he refused to cry in Sinister's presence.
"I didn't need her anymore." Sinister's tone was cold and emotionless. "And then the damned thief stole you from the hospital! I only left you alone for five minutes!"
A horrible realization was making Remy nauseous again. Stole me? Non, you can' be sayin' what I t'ink you're sayin'!
"Yes, Jean-Luc LeBeau stole you from the hospital and delivered you into the Antiquary's hands. I studied your life extensively, but I never had the chance to get my hands on you."
Remy was shaking, being driven to the edge of what he could endure. Non, not Jean-Luc! He saved me!
"He never told you, did he?" Sinister grinned.
Non! Remy tried to hide behind his hair, but Sinister bend forward and swept the locks out of his face.
"But there's more..."
Non, don' wanna hear more! Leave me 'lone! Briefly, he wished his powers were strong enough to take Sinister down with him.
Sinister was about to speak again, but then strange voices drifted down the tunnel. "Normals... we'll have to continue this another time." He walked away from Remy, grinned and disappeared into the shadows again, not eager to be discovered. After gathering his Marauders, he would open a tesserect and take them to his lab where he would plot his next move. If only he had had time to tell Remy about his father!
///
"We found a live one! Pete, get the stretcher! The kid looks bad... is the ambulance already on its way?" Detective MacAfee kneeled and started to examine the wounded young man. "Hey, can you hear me? Do you know what happened?" He froze, staring into the red on black eyes, remembering looking into them before. Ten years ago he had worked on Bourbon Street in New Orleans and had run into a scared boy, who had had the very same alien eyes. Could this be the same boy?
"Don't be scared. An ambulance is already on its way to take you to the hospital. Everything's going to be fine, kid."
Dazedly, Remy returned the gaze, wondering why the man that was hovering above him seemed familiar. Too drained and too emotionally messed up, he gave in to exhaustion.
"It's okay, kid, just relax." MacAfee watched helplessly as the young man lost consciousness. This time he would stay close and make sure the boy didn't give him the slip again.
Chapter Ten - Lovers
He was slowly drifting back to the surface, clawing his way to consciousness. If it had been up to him he would have stayed in the darkness, but a voice was talking to him, urging him to open his eyes and look at him. Involuntarily, he obeyed and forced his eyes open.
"Hey, I knew you were awake. How are you doing, kid?" MacAfee smiled reassuringly and studied the alien eyes, which he remembered so clearly. He had seen them in his dreams after the boy had given him the slip. Later, he had been angry with himself for letting the boy get away.
Remy's lips moved but no sound left them. Blinking his eyes, he felt thankful for the dimmed light. Merde, he was hooked up to IV's and monitors again and the catheter was back. What had happened? Creed happened, his brain supplied. The mad man had slashed his chest open and had then buried his claws in his back. Only now, he realized his chest and back were bandaged and he was resting on his left side.
"The doctor is confident that you'll make a full recovery," MacAfee informed him.
Remy nodded his head weakly. He always survived, didn't he? Why couldn't he simply give up and die? He managed to focus on the brown eyes, once again wondering why the man looked familiar. Why did he feel like the man should be wearing a police uniform? Had he finally lost his sanity?
"My name's MacAfee, Dave MacAfee. I found you in that tunnel and you were more dead than alive. Can you tell me your name, kid?" During the last hour he had sat at the young man's bed, studying his features and he was sure that this young man and the boy he remembered were one and the same person. This was the boy who had run away before he could get him to the hospital.
His name? "Re...my," he whispered softly. His reply was barely audible and his eyes were closing again.
"It's okay, kid, go back to sleep. They're feeding you morphine against the pain. Whoever did this number on you must have been a raving lunatic."
Dave MacAfee watched his charge fall asleep again and he was determined to track down the mad man who had cut the kid open like this. Thankfully, his captain had assigned him to Remy's case, but he needed more information if he wanted to solve it. For now, he decided to sit here and wait for Remy to wake up again.
///
An hour later, Remy startled awake. Pain slashed through his body and his eyes flashed open.
"Sorry, Remy, but I needed to check for infection. My name's Benjamin Jones and I'm your doctor. You needed stitches and now we have to look out for infection." Benjamin smiled, grateful that Dave had given him his patient's first name.
Dave MacAfee was in the room as well and exchanged a glance with Benjamin. "How long before he will be coherent again?"
"A few more days," Benjamin informed him. "I can't take him off the morphine yet."
Benjamin got to his feet and walked over to the bed. "Remy, I've got to return to the police station, but I'll be back when you feel better. Maybe then you can tell me what you remember of your attacker?"
Remy' eyes remained emotionless. His walls had never been higher or stronger, and he was determined to keep their concern out and his feelings suppressed. Sinister had finally pushed him over the edge by admitting he had killed his mother and then the other revelation... that one had shocked him even more. Jean-Luc had delivered him into the Antiquary's hands!
Depressed and listlessly, he averted his eyes and stared at the window. It was raining and the sun hid behind a blanket of dark clouds.
"Are you in pain? Remy, are you in pain?" Worried, Benjamin wondered about his patient's reaction. "Can you hear me?"
Remy refused to answer and closed his eyes. Listening closely he realized that his doctor was injecting something into the IV port, probably more morphine.
"I hope that takes care of the pain," Benjamin said, worried. "Go back to sleep, Remy."
This time he obeyed and let himself drift off into sleep.
///
He slept most of the time during the next three days. Sometimes he would wake briefly because Benjamin was changing the bandages, but then he would pretend to be asleep. He just didn't know how to deal with Sinister's revelations and fled into oblivion.
"Remy?" Benjamin was now growing truly worried about his patient. He had stopped administering the morphine and Remy should be responding by now. "Remy? You've got a visitor."
Startled, Remy's eyes fluttered open and focused on the doorway. Don' let it be Jean-Luc or Sinister... please, mon Dieu! But to his surprise it was Dave MacAfee who entered the room. The detective pulled up a chair and straddled it. Remy allowed himself a moment to take in the cop's appearance. Dave MacAfee was tall, almost 6 foot nine, muscular and had short blond hair, a brush cut. The brown eyes revealed concern, mixed in with curiosity.
"Hello, kid, hope you don't mind me dropping by, but Benjamin told me you were up for visitors. I need information if I want to catch the one who slashed you open." Dave noticed the tremors that washed over the young man's body. Benjamin had told him that Remy had been unresponsive and maybe he could jostle the young man enough to lure him into talking. "I wish you hadn't run away on Bourbon Street ten years ago. I really wanted to help you. I remembered your eyes when I found you in that tunnel."
Remy sucked in his breath. That was why the man seemed so familiar and now he recalled that the cop had introduced himself as MacAfee ten years ago.
"So you see, we go back a long time, you and me," Dave continued, trying to reassure the younger man. "What happened in that tunnel, Remy?"
Remy considered telling the detective what had happened, but realized he couldn't. The cop would never believe him and was in no position to go after Creed, who would kill MacAfee without giving him a second thought. "Don'... remember..."
Dave shook his head, indicating he didn't believe Remy. "I think you do, but for some reason you're too scared to tell me."
Remy averted his eyes, only to find Benjamin at his other side. Now that he was off the morphine, he studied the doctor. Benjamin Jones had blond hair that reached past his shoulders, wore glasses and had sparkling green eyes.
Benjamin used the silence to update his patient on his condition. "There are no signs of infection, Remy, and the wounds are healing nicely. You can go home in a few days."
Go home... I don' have a home... He would have to check into a hotel and lick his wounds there. He decided not to tell Dave anything about Creed, Sinister or the Marauders. Maybe some of the Morlocks had survived and he didn't want them discovered. De Morlocks... it's my fault dey're dead...
"Remy, you do have a place to stay, don't you?" Dave frowned; he had to admit that Remy's behavior worried him as well."I'll find one," Remy whispered, listlessly. Merde, he had to pee and the catheter was still in place. No way could he talk his doctor into letting him use the bathroom. Feeling embarrassed and ashamed, he relieved himself.
Benjamin and Dave exchanged a worried glance. "You can stay at our place," Dave said eventually.
That got Remy's attention. "Our?"
"Benjamin and I are lovers, life partners... or are you homophobic, kid?" Dave didn't know what to make of the look of stark fear that appeared in Remy's eyes. "What? Are you scared we're gonna abuse the situation? Don't worry, we won't touch you." It was obvious that Remy didn't know what to make of the fact that they were a gay couple.
"Merci, mais non... will check into un hôtel." He shuddered at the thought of staying with them.
Benjamin moved a little closer. "Why are you scared, Remy?" He had treated abuse victims before and Remy's reactions were alarmingly similar. Testing his theory, he rested a hand on Remy's naked arm. Remy flinched violently and Benjamin took that as a confirmation of his suspicions. "Remy, were you sexually abused?"
Dave gave Benjamin a startled look "Damn, Bourbon Street... you ended up prostituting yourself, didn't you?" His look shifted from Benjamin to Remy, reading the truth in the young man's eyes. "I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to find you, kid."
"The offer still stands," Benjamin said, firmly. "You'll need someone to look after you. You'll be confined to bed for at least another week. I'd really feel uncomfortable letting you go, knowing you'd have to check into a hotel with no one to take care of you."
Remy felt cornered and reacted on instinct, releasing part of his empathy to test their intentions.
"Wow," Benjamin whispered, impressed, feeling Remy touch his mind. "I never felt anything like it before. I heard about telepaths, but..."
"Ain' a telepat'..." Remy admitted. "I'm an empat'."
Dave smiled, feeling the gentle touch as well. "You're making sure we're being honest, huh?"
"Ain' readin' your minds," Remy assured them.
"It's okay," Dave reassured him. "So what are you picking up? Are we telling the truth?"
Oui, you're tellin' de trut'. He only felt concern and curiosity in their minds, no evil intentions. But he didn't know them, didn't trust them. Don' t'ink I'll ever be able to trust 'gain, not after learni' dat my poppa stole me... mais what if he hadn'? Den Sinister would have made my life miserable. Does it matter who hurt me; de Antiquary or Sinister? What's de difference?
"Why don't you think it over?" Dave got to his feet again; he had to return to the police station. "You can tell Benjamin what you decide. It's okay if you don't want to stay with us, but I think it would be the best thing for you right now. You don't strike me as someone who wants to be alone."
You don' know me at all. Feeling embittered and abandoned, Remy tried to shift in the bed to gain a more comfortable position, but waves of pain rolled through his chest and he froze.
"Without the morphine you'll feel the pain more clearly." Benjamin gestured Dave to leave the room and then tried to capture Remy's elusive gaze. "I don't know exactly what happened to you on Bourbon Street, but I know there are men out there who would abuse your situation. We're not like that, Remy. We aren't johns. Just consider our suggestion? We've got a guest room and you wouldn't have to climb any stairs, which would take its toll in your weakened condition. Just sleep on it, okay?"
Remy nodded once, uncertain why they were inviting him into their home. The only thing he could think of was that they wanted his ass, but when he had touched their minds, he hadn't felt any lust aimed at him. They just wanted to help, but why?
"Remy? Is there something you want to ask me?" Benjamin watched Remy struggle.
"Why? Why help me?" Sinister had hurt him so deeply that he couldn't trust any more. Dave and Benjamin had to have a secret agenda! Locking eyes with Benjamin, he once again felt real concern. The young doctor didn't have any hidden motives, didn't intend to hurt him.
Benjamin shrugged his shoulders. "You don't have a place to stay and Dave really wants to help you. I've known him for five years now and every now and then he dreams about the boy he couldn't help, the boy that he let slip away. I don't want him to feel guilty."
His empathy told him that every word was true and he didn't know what to do. Checking into an empty hotel room wasn't appealing either, but his fear was holding him back from accepting Benjamin and Dave's invitation and he appreciated that Benjamin didn't pressure him. The doctor left his room after urging him again to rest.
///
"So, did you make up your mind?" Dave was back to pick up Benjamin whose shift had ended. Expectantly, he looked Remy in the eyes. The fear that still lurked there made him cautious. "If you don't want to stay with us, we'll drive you to a nice hotel. It's up to you."
Remy had had two days to think everything over and Benjamin had discharged him a few minutes ago. He was wearing clothes, which he had borrowed from Benjamin. His own clothes had been covered in blood. "I ain' sure," he admitted softly. "I wanna accept your invitation, mais..."
"We won't hurt you," Benjamin assured him again. He hoped that Remy would say yes. This was an incredible opportunity for Remy to grow, to learn that he didn't have to fear gay people. He damned the men to hell who had abused Remy in the past. If only he could show Remy that he didn't have to be afraid!
Remy knew he had lost the inner struggle when he involuntarily nodded his head. "Oui, I'm acceptin' your invitation." He couldn't believe he had said yes. It was another impulsive decision that would get him into trouble. One bad decision followed another in his life. The only good decision he had ever made was trusting Jean-Luc and even his father had hurt him by banishing him from New Orleans. He was only setting himself up for more heartache.
"You won't regret saying yes, Remy." It must have been hard for Remy to accept the invitation. Benjamin looked at Dave and hoped they could heal a little bit of Remy's hurt.
///
"This is it," Dave announced. He had folded an arm around Remy's waist and guided him to the guest room, which was small, but cozy. "You can stay as long as you want to." He led Remy inside and after piling some pillows, he helped his guest lie down. Remy's eyes were closing; the short trip from the hospital to the apartment had drained him. "Why don't you take a short nap and I'll wake you once dinner is ready?"
"Sounds bien," Remy whispered sleepily. In the back of his mind a child's voice was screaming at him, telling him to get away from Dave and Benjamin as quickly possible. They couldn't be any better than the johns who had paid him for sexual favors. Those johns had liked boys, had fucked Philippe who had only been a few years older. He felt like he was still in danger, like the danger had never left.
His thoughts raced in circles until finally he fell asleep.
///
"How's Remy doing?" Benjamin was preparing dinner when Dave joined him in the kitchen. Turning around, he wrapped his arms around his life partner and pulled him close for a passionate kiss. "We actually scare him..."
"What did he tell you?" Dave released Benjamin and peeled the potatoes.
"Not much, but from what I gathered he was abused at a very young age." Benjamin got the steaks from the fridge and a frown appeared on his brow. "I once walked in on him when he was having a nightmare. He was fighting off someone called Hugo. Remy was struggling with the blankets, entangling himself and begging this Huge not to touch him. That's all I know."
"You think he was raped?" Dave got out the utensils and plates and set the table for three.
Benjamin nodded once. "And if that's the case it's understandable that he's afraid. We prefer men and he was assaulted by a man... we've got to be careful, love."
"He's asleep right now..." Dave sat down at the table and chewed on a breadstick. "What do we do now he's here?"
"Act normally and do the things we always do. Maybe if he realizes we're not a threat he'll feel more comfortable."
"Did you see his medical records?" Dave knew Benjamin wouldn't tell him any details, but he had to ask.
"No," Benjamin said thoughtfully. "Remy never told us his last name... did you have more luck?"
"Nothing, it's like he doesn't exist. I even ran a check on his fingerprints, but nothing came up."
"So we have to find out his last name. Damn, I really want those medical records. What if there's more?" Benjamin placed the boiled potatoes, steak and greens on the table. "You'd better wake Remy. Dinner is ready."
Dave rose from his chair and walked over to the guest room, finding Remy already awake. "Hi there, I hope you're hungry. Ben made enough food to feed a starving family."
Remy managed to push himself into a sitting position .When he had woken up he had been terribly confused, briefly fearing he was back in Sinister's lab. Then he had seen the books, CD's and plants in the room, remembering he was staying with Dave and Benjamin.
"Dinner is served. Come on, we don't want the food to grow cold." Dave was tempted to pull Remy to his feet, but refrained from doing so. He wasn't sure Remy would welcome his help.
"Mais oui, I'm comin'..." Remy pushed himself to his feet and swayed. Leaning against the wall for support he waited until the dizzy spell was over. Following Dave, he slowly made his way into the kitchen where he sat down at the dinner table. "Smells bon," he complimented them.
"Hope you're hungry, Remy." Benjamin placed a full plate in front of his guest. "Bon appetite."
Remy kept one arm wrapped around his chest, trying to ignore the pain. He even managed a few bites, before the pain became worse and made him drop his fork because he was shaking so badly.
"Remy, what's wrong?" Benjamin rose from his chair and walked over to Remy. Seeing the cold sweat on the young man's brow, he grew worried. The last time he had checked on the wounds they had been free of infection. "You have been too much on your feet today and the pain is back, isn't it?"
Remy managed a weak nod. All he wanted was to lie down and sleep.
"I'll give you something against the pain." Benjamin walked out of the kitchen and returned carrying a vial filled with white pills. "Take two of them." He placed the glass of water in Remy's hand and watched him swallow the painkillers. "Try to eat a little more? Otherwise you'll never regain your strength."
Remy ate another few bites, but then stopped. His stomach was protesting. "Sorry, mais can I lie down...?"
Dave helped Remy to his feet and steered him toward the living room. Remy raised a puzzled eyebrow, but Dave laughed softly. "We're going to watch a game and talk a little. You can return to your room later." They had decided to let Remy be part of their life, as it was most likely that Remy would try to isolate himself by staying in his room. "Comfortable?"
Remy was lying on the couch on his left side to take the pressure off his back and chest. "Oui, comfortable."
"I'm going to help Benjamin do the dishes and then we'll join you, okay?" Dave smiled, seeing Remy's eyes close. "That's it. Rest is the best remedy... at least that's what Ben says."
After joining his life partner in the kitchen, they did the dishes and made some tea. Thirty minutes later, they installed themselves on the loveseat and switched on the TV. They couldn't find a game and settled for a movie.
Dave opened his arms and Benjamin sat between his lover's legs, enjoying the feel of Dave's arms tightly wrapped around him. Leaning back against Dave's chest, he felt Remy's eyes on him. "Awake again?" The stunned expression in the alien eyes briefly baffled him, wondering why it was there.
Remy felt the love they shared, but had never seen two men in love before. Seeing the tenderness, with which Dave held Benjamin close, was a revelation. These two men really cared deeply about each other. Their love was strong and he felt humble that they wanted to include him in their lives.
Dave had studied Remy's expression as well and said, "Yeah, I love Ben. We met five years ago and have been together ever since. I can't imagine a life without him."
Remy swallowed hard. Suddenly he felt the overwhelming need to tell them about his fears. He was probably making a mistake, but the pain needed a way out. "When I was nine I was prostitutin' m'self to stay 'live. I sucked dem off mais refused to let dem fuck me, mais den my pimp sold my ass for five hundred dollars and de john raped me. I don' trust men... don' trust men who like ot'er men..." He had blurted out his fears and now he flushed crimson, avoiding their eyes and trying hard to block their feelings.
Dave felt Benjamin tremble, realizing his lover had drawn the right conclusions after walking in on Remy while Remy was having that nightmare. "This happened after we met?"
"Oui, I sucked my first john off de night after I ran 'way from you. You wanted to take me to a hospital and I was scared dey'd lock me up. I'd been pretty much a prisoner for de first nine years of my life and I couldn' bear de t'ought of losin' my freedom 'gain." Remy noticed Benjamin's swimming eyes, but didn't say anything about it. "Dat's why I'm scared... bein' here wit' you. Rien comes for free and everyt'in' has a price."
Benjamin shook his head in disbelief. "You were only nine years old?"
"I had to survive..." Remy shivered.
Benjamin left the couch to collect a blanket from the guest room and covered Remy with it. Sitting down on the floor, he watched Remy closely. "Give us a chance to prove to you that not all men are evil? Yes, Dave and I like men, but we would never force you to do anything against your will."
"It's hard," Remy admitted, struggling to keep his walls up. Benjamin was close and the man radiated compassion. "Gimme time?"
"Sure," Dave said, sitting on his heels behind Benjamin and folding an arm around his partner. "You can have all the time you want."
///
The next morning Remy felt a bit more comfortable being around Benjamin and Dave. After breakfast, Dave left to go to the police station and Remy expected Benjamin to leave as well, but the doctor announced that he had taken a day off from work to look after him. Remy felt guilty, hearing that. He didn't want to be a burden.
"Nonsense, you're not a burden!" Benjamin shook his head at Remy's objections.
Remy grew silent after that and watched Benjamin do the dishes. "Can I help?"
Benjamin arched his eyebrow. "Can you stand on your own?"
"Non," Remy whispered.
"The painkillers are making you sleepy and you'd probably drop the dishes. You can help when you feel better, okay?" Benjamin said, seeing the draped expression in the alien eyes.
"'kay..." Remy sat in silence, watching Benjamin move about. He didn't know what to say.
"So Remy, how old are you? You look like you're sixteen."
"I'm nineteen," Remy corrected Benjamin.
"And when's your birthday?" Benjamin helped Remy to the couch where they sat down, drinking some herbal tea.
Remy realized Benjamin was trying to lure him into talking but he didn't mind. He was glad that the terrible silence was gone. "I ain' sure, mais I t'ink May first."
"You aren't sure?" Benjamin's brow grew knitted.
"I don' know my parents," he explained hesitantly. He didn't want to talk about the Antiquary or the Guild. "De man who adopted me, Jean-Luc, always gave me a present on dat day so I assume it's my birt'day."
"That reminds me... Dave retrieved this from your pockets."
Remy smiled. "It's my bo staff."
"Your what?"
Remy extended the staff and smiled, hearing Benjamin's surprised gasp. "It comes in handy."
"I've never seen anything like it." Remy closed the staff again and Benjamin blinked his eyes. May first... Remy had said May first... that was in two weeks. Maybe they could organize something in order to celebrate Remy's birthday. When he looked at Remy again, he found that the young man was clinging to the small metal tube and that his eyes had closed again. Benjamin tucked a blanket around Remy's form and decided to do some paperwork, which he had brought home a few days ago. In the meantime he would keep an eye on Remy.
///
"Non, leave me 'lone... Don' fuckin' touch me!" The last word turned into a helpless yelp and Benjamin hurried to Remy's side. The young man was trembling and his hands opened and closed frantically.
"Remy, wake up. You're having a nightmare."
Remy reached instinctively, feeling the bo staff in his right hand and hearing a strange voice this close. He opened the staff, ready to defend himself.
Benjamin backed away, fell onto his butt and stared at his guest. "Remy, it's me, remember me?"
Remy blinked once. "Benjamin..." Oui, he was staying with Benjamin and Dave. "Am sorry," he apologized. His chest was throbbing with pain and tears appeared in his eyes. He shouldn't have moved so abruptly.
Benjamin quickly composed himself again and collected the pain medication from the kitchen. "Here, swallow two of them." He helped Remy drink the water. "Feeling better? That must have been one hell of a nightmare."
Suddenly Remy realized how close Benjamin was. The other man sat beside him on the couch, close... too close and another flash back overwhelmed him. Hugo was back, hurting him. Whimpering, he waited for the memory to pass.
"Remy? It'll help when you open your eyes and look at me. I'm not Hugo. Come on, look at me."
The voice penetrated his foggy mind and he locked eyes with Benjamin. "Not Hugo... You ain' Hugo..."
"You had nightmares about him before. That's the man who raped you..." Benjamin wanted to take Remy in his arms and hug him tight, but couldn't do that; Remy might freak out again.
"Oui," Remy admitted shyly.
"Remy?" Benjamin licked his lips. "I'd really like to hold you..."
"Non." Remy's tone bordered on sheer panic. The only man allowed to hold him was Jean-Luc LeBeau!
"Give me a chance, Remy. I just want to comfort you. My heart belongs to Dave and he's the only man I want. You don't have to feel threatened."
"Non..." But this time the protest had lost its conviction.
"You want me to hold you, don't you? Deep down there's this boy who wants to be reassured."
Mon Dieu, how does he know? Remy wanted to protest again, but Benjamin was right. He wanted to be hugged, held and rocked. He didn't struggle when Benjamin wrapped one arm around him, carefully stroking his back, staying clear of the healing wounds.
"You see, there's nothing scary about being held... I'm not hurting you..." He knew he had achieved an important victory when Remy rested his head on his shoulder. "It's nice, isn't it? Being held?"
"Oui," Remy almost choked on the word. It wasn't supposed to feel this good. He didn't hear the front door open and close, and didn't see Dave step into the room.
Benjamin however noticed his lover and smiled gently. "Why don't you start dinner?"
The question confused Remy at first, but then he realized that Benjamin wasn't addressing him at all. When had Dave gotten home? "Salut..." Suddenly he was afraid that Dave might get jealous and mad at him because his lover was holding him and he freed himself of Benjamin's embrace.
"Hey, kid, it's okay." Dave walked over to them and rested his hand on Remy's shoulder. "I know Benjamin loves me... I'm not that insecure."
Remy sighed, relieved. "Merci." Merde, he hadn't even noticed that he was crying and quickly wiped away his tears. Damn pain pills were making him emotional.
"Why don't you stay here on the couch and watch some TV? Dave and I will prepare something to eat and then we'll join you again." Benjamin wanted Remy to grow accustomed to their presence. After Remy nodded his head, he got up from the couch and joined Dave in the kitchen.
Remy stared at the TV screen, not really registering what was on. It baffled him that he had been able to endure Benjamin's touch without panicking. Maybe he was starting to feel safe?
///
In the middle of the night, Remy woke up, feeling incredibly thirsty. Merde, now he had to walk to the kitchen to get himself a drink. He pushed back the comforter and carefully got to his feet. Although the vertigo was gone, he still felt weak.
Slowly, he opened the door and stepped into the living room. Dave and Benjamin's room was on the other side of the living room and they appeared to be still awake, judging from the noises coming from their room. Soft mews of approval echoed through the apartment and Remy involuntarily started for their room. The door was ajar and...
Mon Dieu... He couldn't move, transfixed by the erotic scene in front of him. Dave and Benjamin were making out! Get out of here! You ain' supposed to watch! Move it! But he was paralyzed and continued to watch.
Benjamin was on his back and moaning softly as Dave licked his way down his lover's belly. "I love you..." Dave mumbled affectionately and then...
Remy suddenly bolted from the room, ran into the bathroom and began throwing up. Non, non, non! Dave had taken Benjamin's erection into his mouth and seeing that had triggered his own memories, memories which he had repressed for so long. Suddenly, he was back on Bourbon Street, sucking off a john and dry heaves tormented his body.
"Remy? Remy, what? Are you all right, kid?" Dave was the first to reach the bathroom and kneeled next to Remy, smoothing back the locks while Remy continued to vomit. "It's okay, just ride it out, don't fight it."
Remy shook off Dave's hand and spilled the rest of dinner into the porcelain bowl. Finally, he calmed down and pushed himself away from Dave. Huddling in the corner of the bathroom, he eyed them suspiciously.
"Remy, what's going on?" Benjamin kept his distance, reading Remy's body language correctly. He had quickly stepped into some boxers and Dave was wearing a robe. They had been in the middle of making love when Remy had startled them. Was that it? Damn, the door had been ajar when they had stormed into the living room. "You saw us make love, is that it?"
Remy shook violently and averted his eyes. Trying to make himself as small as possible, he wrapped his arms around his knees and rocked slightly. "Sorry, didn' wanna watch, mais..."
"What did you see, Remy? What triggered this?" Benjamin moved a little closer, but the bathroom was getting crowded. "Dave, why don't you make some tea?"
"Sure." Dave realized Benjamin wanted to talk to Remy and left the bathroom, trusting his lover to handle this situation.
Remy shook his head. "Don' wanna remember."
"What was it?"
"Did he hurt you?"
Remy's question puzzled Benjamin. "Why are you asking?"
"He was on top, non? Know how much it hurts to be de bottom... Did it only once, mais Hugo... Did Dave..."
"Dave didn't hurt me, Remy," Benjamin reassured him, suddenly realizing that he was dealing with a frightened nine year old boy that had been hiding all these years. "Dave was making love to me."
Remy peeked at Benjamin, feeling like a nine year old again. "Has to hurt... De johns 'ways hurt Philippe when dey fucked him."
"Oh, Remy." Benjamin sat down cross-legged and managed to catch Remy's gaze. "That wasn't making love. That was rape. No matter how much they paid, neither Philippe nor you wanted to have sex with them. You needed the money to survive, remember? The men who abused you were perverted bastards."
Remy's eyes glowed. "Don' believe you... 'ways hurts."
Benjamin licked his lips, ready to make a suggestion that could easily backfire. "Did I look like I was in pain when Dave was touching me?"
"Non..."
"Listen, the next time Dave and I make love... would you want to watch?"
Remy's eyes grew big. "Watch?"
"That way we might convince you that making love isn't about pain or control. It's about love and passion."
Remy shook his head. "Don' t'ink dat's a bon idea."
"Just think about it, okay?"
"Tea's ready!" Dave announced, startling them.
"Let's move this to the living room, okay? We'll drink some tea, talk some more and then we'll try to go back to sleep."
Remy allowed Benjamin to help him to his feet. Benjamin guided him to the couch, where they sat down. Dave handed him a cup of tea and he sipped the hot liquid. Surprised, he found that he wasn't that scared anymore. Maybe it was because Dave was holding Benjamin close again and briefly, he felt envious of the love they had... which he would never find.
///
The next few days passed quickly and Remy found himself settling down into a routine of sleeping, eating, walking about a bit, waiting for them to come home, eating dinner and watching TV. He felt at peace and that was aiding his recovery. He knew he should be moving out again now that he was feeling better, but he liked being part of... a family, was that it?
"You know," Dave started while munching on some potato chips, "you never told us your last name."
"LeBeau," Remy replied without hesitation. It showed how much he had come to trust them. "Why do you want to know?"
Dave shrugged his shoulders. "Curious." Tomorrow was Remy's birthday and they were trying to contact his family, which hopefully lived in New Orleans, because that was where he was concentrating his search.
Remy got to his feet. "I t'ink I'll go for a walk." Yesterday he had gone outside for the first time and it was the perfect way to give them some privacy. He noticed Benjamin's concerned look and tried to reassure his friend. "I'm bien, I really am."
"Don't overdo it." Benjamin nodded his head once. "Be careful. You're still healing."
"I'll be careful," Remy promised and collected his coat. "Be back in one hour, mes amis!"
Dave and Benjamin looked at each other once the door had closed behind Remy. "We've got one hour," they said simultaneously.
Dave licked his lips. "One hour to make hot, wild passionate love to you."
"What are we waiting for?" Benjamin jumped to his feet and dragged Dave into the bedroom with him.
///
Remy got back a little early. It had started to rain and he didn't want to catch a cold while he was still recovering from Creed's attack. He used the key Dave had given him to open the door and let himself in. The TV was off and he assumed they had gone to bed early, which he should do as well.
"Oh, Dave, yes, harder, please... oh, you make me feel so good... love you..."
Oops... Remy blushed, realizing he had managed to walk in on them again! He was about to hurry to his room when Benjamin's moans grew louder.
"Oh, yes, yes, yes... so close, so fucking close... come on, Dave..." Soft yelps and demanding whimpers floated from the bedroom into the living room.
Benjamin said it was bien if I watched, mais... His feet were already carrying him to their bedroom. Non, can' do dis! I ain' a voyeur... But he found himself standing in the doorway again. Why had they left the door open?
His mouth turned dry, watching Dave and Benjamin make love. It should have shocked the hell out of him, seeing Dave thrust and Benjamin wrapping his legs around his lover's waist, but... he sensed their love and it was beautiful. Dave was kissing his lover, claiming Benjamin's lips and suckling them. His thrusts were gentle and he was pumping Benjamin's erection at the same time. This was nothing like his experience with Hugo. This was different, this was making love...
"Remy?" Benjamin smiled, seeing the startled expression in Remy's eyes. "It's okay, Remy... it's okay..."
Dave ignored Remy, concentrating on his lover instead. They had discussed the fact that Remy might turn up and watch them and although he wasn't thrilled to have an audience he understood why Benjamin had told Remy that it was okay to watch.
Remy fought the urge to run away, but his eyes devoured the scene in front of him.
Dave's tongue slithered into Benjamin's mouth and his thrusts grew wilder. Releasing Benjamin's lips briefly, he panted a declaration of love. "Love you, Bennie... always love you... we belong together... love you, sweetheart."
Remy swallowed hard, feeling Benjamin's impending orgasm and growing hard himself. He should retreat now that he knew the difference between fucking and making love, but he needed to see the rest as well.
Dave suckled an erect nipple, making Benjamin squirm beneath him. Pumping his lover's cock, he aimed for Benjamin's sweet spot. "Come for me, love, come for me... I want to taste you, feel you, smell you..."
Benjamin trembled as he climaxed, shooting his come across Dave's hand and belly. "Oh, fuck, Dave..."
Dave smiled, kissed his lover again and loosed his own orgasm. Holding onto Benjamin, he rode out the waves of ecstasy.
Remy's heart missed a beat, seeing Dave pull out and spoon up behind Benjamin. He had feared that Dave would ignore Benjamin's needs, forgetting about making him come, but seeing them snuggled up like this, he realized his mistake. Benjamin's tired eyes met his and he smiled. "I t'ink I understand now... merci for lettin' me be part of dis."
Benjamin smiled sleepily.
Remy closed the door and returned to his room. He undressed and slipped between the sheets, feeling ashamed that he was still hard. Seeing them make love had opened his eyes. Fucking was just fucking and johns had paid Philippe and him to fuck them... What Dave and Benjamin had was different and he wanted that... wanted that love badly.
Although he was trembling, he curled his fingers around his erection, enjoying the friction that made him even harder. Love, dey made love... it's different... it's so much betta. Wish I had someone to love... All it took was a few more strokes and he was coming hard; white cream pooled on his belly and cooled quickly. Mais rien changed... I'm still alone...
Fighting back his tears, he stared at the ceiling. He desperately wanted what Dave and Benjamin had... mais I'll never find someone who loves me back... never...
///
"You're doing really well, Remy, aren't you?" Benjamin smiled. Remy had gained weight and his chest and back hardly bothered him anymore.
"T'anks to you and Dave." Benjamin was right; he had seldom known such peace. The only time that came close was when he had allowed himself to trust Jean-Luc and Mattie.
"Dave and I will be late tonight. We're going to catch a movie, want to join us?"
"Non," Remy declined, making sure they got enough privacy. "I might be going out myself tonight."
Benjamin raised an eyebrow.
"Don' worry. I'm only goin' to de museum." Remy collected his coat and walked toward the door. "Mebbe I'll even meet someone."
"I hope so, Remy," Benjamin mumbled after Remy had closed the door behind him. "You deserve someone who loves you."
///
On his way back home, Remy stopped to have some coffee. He had enjoyed touring the museum and was even thinking about plying his thieving skills again, but he was hesitant to get back into the criminal circuit. Creed and Sinister were still out there.
And what 'bout de Morlocks? I deserted dem. I didn' even go back to see if anyone survived. What happened to de girl? He had tried so hard to make peace with what had happened, but the guilt never left him, clouding his happiness.
Leaving the coffee shop, the guilt became oppressive and he began to pant, desperately trying to draw oxygen into his lungs. Was this a panic attack? Looking up, he saw that the lights were on in Dave and Benjamin's room. Maybe it would help if he talked to them? Finally told them what a fool he had been?
After he calmed down a bit, he uncovered his key and let himself in. "Dave? Benjamin?" After shedding his coat, he headed for their bedroom. "Mes amis? Am I interruptin' l'amour?"
Why weren't they answering him? He knocked on the door, but the silence remained. No moans, no whimpers... Suddenly a sense of dread overwhelmed him and he opened the door.
Non, mon Dieu.. non, not dem! Dey never hurt anyone! Tears flowed down his face as he approached them. Benjamin was lying on his side, curled around Dave. A dagger was buried in his left shoulder. It had been aimed at the heart. Dave was next to his lover. An arrow had pierced his heart.
"NON!" Remy collapsed on to his knees. "NON! Why? Why did you kill dem?" The dagger and arrow were trademarks of the Assassins Guild and he recognized this particular dagger. It belonged to Julien.
"Non..." Sobbing softly, he rested one hand on either body, finding that they were still warm. Why had he stopped on his way home? Maybe he could have stopped Julien if he had gotten home earlier! "Why did you take me in? You'd still be 'live now if you hadn' taken me in... I want you 'live... please mon Dieu, don' be dis cruel. Lemme wake up from dis horrible dream..."
The floodgates opened and he cried softly, releasing his pain. Mon Dieu, dey didn' deserve to die... dey were bon people... I should have known I was makin' de wrong choice. Everyone who cares 'bout me, dies. I killed dem, killed Benjamin and Dave. Oh, mes amis, je vous aime, please don' leave me 'lone... don' wanna be 'lone...
"Don't despair, I'm here."
Remy jumped to his feet, extended his bo staff and faced Sinister. "What! Didn' you do enough damage? You took 'way de trust I had in Jean-Luc! You killed my mère. I should kill you in return!"
"You can't kill me," Sinister said calmly, not even glancing at the two bodies. "You might have stood a chance when your powers were out of control, but not anymore."
"What do you want from me?" Remy charged the staff and was ready to throw it at Sinister, hoping to pierce his heart.
"I didn't get a chance to finish in the tunnels. I told you about your mother... but not about your father."
Remy froze. The malice in Sinster's eyes was getting to him and the scientist stunk of evil.
"Don't despair about the death of your friends... I'm here for you... son."
"NON!" Remy couldn't take it any longer. "Dat's a lie! I ain' your son, non!" He threw the bo staff, but Sinister managed to step away. An explosion rocked the apartment and the curtains caught fire.
"It's the truth, Remy. You are my son. Damn Jean-Luc LeBeau for stealing you. I didn't even get the chance to name you." Sinister grinned. "Just look at our eyes, son... my legacy."
"Non..." Remy was sobbing hysterically. He managed to retrieve his bo staff and stared in disbelief at the bed that was burning as well. "Can' let dem burn!" Turning his back on Sinister, he lifted Benjamin in his arms and carried him outside, placing his dead friend on the pavement. Then he went back into the burning house to collect Dave. Sinister stood amidst the flames, laughing loudly. Remy ignored him and carried Dave onto the street as well.
"I'm so sorry, mes amis. I'd gladly die if it would bring you back to life..." A crowd was forming and he had to leave this place before the police moved in and wanted to question him. Dave had been a cop and they would want to catch the killer.
Looking up at the sea of flames, he saw Sinister's silhouette and shuddered. Sinister couldn't be his father. The man was playing games with him!
As he ran into the night, he realized he was truly alone again. I'll never forget you, mes amis... never.