Title: Return to Innocence

Author: Morgana (morganalebeau@yahoo.com)

Website: http://www.oocities.org/morganalebeau/

Rating: NC-17

Pairing/main characters: Gambit/Cyclops, Angel/Essex

Series/Sequel: sequel to Insanity

Summary: Apocalypse learns that Sinister is capable of having feelings again and feels betrayed. He decides to get back at Sinister through Remy.

Disclaimer: Gambit and X-Men is (c) copyright of Marvel Comics. No copyright infringement is intended.

Date: April 2002

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Return to Innocence 1

By Morgana

Remy opened his eyes, feeling incredibly sleepy and satiated at the same time. His body buzzed with life after making love with Scott. The final act had been sweet and loving, just as he had hoped it would be. And Scott had even worn a modified collar so his eyes were visible. Has to be true l'amour!

But why was he alone in bed? He distinctly remembered falling asleep in Scott's arms. Alarmed, he sat upright in bed. Shivering from the cold, he wrapped the sheet around his body and left the warm bed. Instinctively, he walked over to the window and felt humbled at the sight of the magnificent sunset. In the distance, sitting with his back against a tree, was Scott. His empathy was strong enough to receive Scott's melancholy and worried, he grabbed a shirt and jeans, quickly slipping into them.

Why was Scott feeling down? Was it something he had done? No, he refused to believe that Scott had second thoughts about making love to him. Scott had been ecstatic and it had been Scott's idea to take the final step.

Apprehensively, he started for Scott, hoping the other man would accept his company. No matter how strong Scott's love for him was he still feared rejection. It was impossible to shake lifelong insecurities within a few weeks.

"Scott? Cher?" He remained a few feet away, unwilling to infringe on Scott's privacy.

Scott stared at the red, burning sky and finally acknowledged his lover by nodding his head.

Shyly, Remy sat down beside Scott, not touching yet, still maintaining some distance. "Want me to stay or to leave? I'll understand if you don' wanna talk." He did his best to hide his fear of rejection, but realized that some of it had seeped through the link and into Scott's mind. During these last few intimate hours, their bond had deepened.

"Empaths..." Scott mumbled, resting a hand on Remy's arm, gently stroking his lover's skin.

Remy grew more confident, encouraged by Scott's touch. "Somethin' wrong, cher?"

"Not wrong... not exactly... wrong is the wrong word," Scott mused, dryly. Smiling, he cocked his head and looked at his lover. "Nothing can be wrong after making love to you. Everything's right."

Remy blushed and averted his eyes. He had seldom felt this shy. His empathy told him that Scott was telling him the truth. "Mais you feel sad for some reason, cher."

Scott nodded his head. Lying to a telepath never worked. "I'm thinking, Remy... remembering."

"Rememberin' what?" Why did he fear the answer?

Scott took hold of Remy's icy cold hands and warmed them in his. He read the insecurity in his lover's eyes and mind, and the last thing he wanted was to upset Remy, but he had to be honest with his lover. "I was thinking about Jean." The sudden guilty expression in Remy's eyes made him cringe. "Remy, Jean wants us to be happy, always remember that. But you also have to understand that Jean was such a big part of my life that I can't simply forget about her." He silenced the Cajun with a gentle kiss. "I know you don't want me to forget her, I really do, but at the same time you feel...?"

Realizing Scott wanted him to finish the sentence for him, he cleared his throat and gathered his courage. Speaking about Jean was always hard on him for some elusive reason. "I feel like I stole you from her... If she were still 'live you'd be wit' her, not me... Jean and you belon' toget'er and..."

"Once we get back to the mansion I want you to watch the messages Jean left behind." He gently squeezed Remy's hand. "She knew you loved me and no, you're not second best. I choose to be with you. I want to be with you. We're going to be all right, Remy."

Remy licked his lips. "Cher, why feel sad?" He felt like he still hadn't reached the heart of the matter. Jean was part of it, but...

Now Scott felt uncomfortable. He had hoped that Remy wouldn't pressure him into talking, but at the same time he realized that he didn't want to have secrets from Remy. Folding an arm around his lover, he pulled Remy close and encouraged the younger man to rest his head against his shoulder. Remy accepted.

"Dat bad?" Remy swallowed, nervously.

"No, it's just... Jean and I hoped to have kids some day... A boy and a girl, who we could raise and watch become adults."  Scott smiled, saddened.

You never bonded wit' Rachel... alas, mais... "What 'bout Madeline? What about your fils...?" Remy wasn't sure he should address this, but Scott seemed willing to talk about it, to unburden his soul.

"I was a real mess back then. Jean had died and Maddie... I don't think I ever really loved her and Nate... I didn't spend a whole lot of time with him and later Rachel had to take him with her into the future." Scott shook his head. "Why can't I have a break in life? Why can't I sit back and enjoy watching them grow up? I want to be a real father... someone who's always there for them..."

Remy cringed. What Scott wants is de one t'ing I can't give him...

"Hey!" Alarmed, Scott hugged his lover close. "You make me happy, Remy. Don't make a big fuss over this. We get new kids at the Academy each year and some of them will need a father figure. We can 'adopt' them, plus it will be fun to have all this time to ourselves."

"Mais it ain' de same..." I wish I could give you what you want...

Scott regretted ever mentioning it to Remy. In an effort to distract Remy, he leaned in closer and claimed his lover's lips. I love you, Remy, he told his lover telepathically. Remy's eyes began to burn.

Je t'aime, cher, mais...

"There's no 'mais', Remy." He rubbed Remy's back with long, soothing strokes. Using a minimum of strength, he laid Remy down on the grass and continued to kiss his lover breathlessly. Remy's body heat warmed him and his groin stirred. Growing hard, he moaned his desire.

Oh, cher, je t'aime... Remy cupped the back of Scott's head in his hand and enjoyed his lover's closeness. Spreading his legs, he invited Scott to settle between them; an invitation, which Scott eagerly accepted. Within seconds, Remy was hard and craving release. Trusting himself to Scott, he sighed as his lover unbuttoned his jeans, allowing his throbbing cock to bounce free. Was Scott going to take him again? If he was honest with himself, he had to admit to feeling sore...

Scott read that particular worry in Remy's mind and deepened the kiss. Although making love to Remy had been sweet last night, he didn't plan on taking his lover again this soon, not as long as Remy was suffering from any discomfort. There were other ways to express their love.

Agile thief's hands unzipped him and pulled down his jeans and boxers. Aligning their cocks, Scott started a slow rhythm, reaffirming their love. "I love you..." Remy's empathy flared, setting his mind on fire and united them in a passionate climax.

Coming hard, they clung to each other. "You're amazing, Remy."

Satiated, Remy smiled. He vividly recalled the rapture he had seen in Scott's eyes when his lover had come last night.

"We should head back, take a shower and start dinner... darling..." Scott added the endearment hesitantly, uncertain how Remy would react.

"Darlin'?" Remy smiled lazily, stretching his body like a cat. No lover had ever bothered with an endearment before. "I like it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner, they settled down on the couch. Remy was reading a book, snuggled up to Scott's side. His lover was flipping channels until he found a news broadcast.

"Hey, come here..." Scott firmly pulled his lover down until his knees served as a pillow, supporting Remy's head. "What are you reading?"

It had been months since he'd had the energy and desire to read a good book and he had found this one at the cabin. "Didn' have much choice, cher..." Closing the book, he presented it to Scott.

Curiously, Scott read the title on the cover. "The Vampire Armand?" He chuckled softly. "Remy?"

"Hey, don' look at me like dat! It's a good book!" Muttering softly, he flipped back to the right page and continued reading. "Bah, it's a good book... you should read it... very sensual..."

"Sensual?" Scott provocatively licked his lips.

"Oh, cher... stop distractin' me!" Remy squirmed, pretending annoyance. He lifted his right hand and caressed his lover's face. Suddenly the laughter and the teasing died. "I'm really sorry, cher..."

Scott frowned. "Sorry for what?"

"Dat Jean and you never got to enjoy de chil'ren. You're bon parents... I can tell."

"You can?" The frown on Scott's brown deepened. Ever since he had admitted to Remy that he would have liked to have children, his lover been depressed, like it was his fault that they couldn't have any children. "Remy?"

"Jean-Luc adopted me... you know dat... he's de only real poppa I've ever had...  Sinister only wanted me for his experiments and even Jean-Luc... He stole me from de hospital when I was li'l. Every chile wants someone who loves dem unconditionally. Jean-Luc only tried so hard 'cause he made a mistake..."

"Did you ever talk to Jean-Luc about this? Does he know that... that you know what happened after you were born? He called you a few days ago, didn't he?"

Remy shivered. "Oui, dat was when I found out Sinister was playin' me..."

"Playing you... he did help you, didn't he?" Scott didn't want to play devil's advocate, but had no choice. Sinister's behavior still had him puzzled. "It almost looked like Sinister really cared about what happened to you."

"Cher, he uses my DNA to conduct his experiments wit'... dat wasn' 'bout me..."

Scott couldn't bear seeing the sad expression in Remy's eyes. "Are you sure? I mean, you're the empath... didn't you feel anything else?"

"He has tight shields, cher. I only felt what he wanted me to feel."

"Are you going to talk to them? Both of them? You lost your trust in Jean-Luc when you found out that he stole you from the hospital. Do you want to continue to feel like you can't trust him?"

Remy closed his eyes. "I don' wanna t'ink 'bout dat."

"You have to... and then there's Sinister..." Scott took a deep breath and fingered a silken lock of his lover's hair. "You weren't conscious at the time, Remy, but I don't think he faked his concern. He sat at your bedside the entire time, trying to connect with you. There were real emotions in his eyes, in his face. His body was tense... you can't fake things like that."

"You mean dat?" Remy licked his lips and tried to reconcile the image Scott painted with that of the mad scientist that had sent him into the Morlock tunnels... he failed. "You must be wrong, cher. He acted his part... he don' care."

"I'm not so sure..." But Scott decided not to push Remy and changed their subject instead. "Are you moving into my rooms or am I moving into yours?" They hadn't discussed living arrangements yet.

"I don' know," Remy whispered, cautiously. "What do you want?" He would rather not live in the same quarters where Jean and Scott had lived as a married couple, but he forced himself to let Scott decide.

Scott nodded his head, reading part of Remy's thoughts and wondered if his lover was aware that his mind was wide open. "Your room? That's if you don't mind me moving in with you?" Now that he was thinking it over, he had to agree with Remy. It was best to make a fresh start. Living in his rooms would constantly remind him of Jean and if he wanted this relationship to work, he had to put Remy first.

Remy nodded eagerly. "Would love to have you, cher..."

"Okay, we'll move my stuff to your room." Scott tried to pay more attention to the news broadcast, but Remy's closeness kept distracting him. "I'm really glad things are working out between us."

"Me too," Remy admitted, smiled and picked up reading where he had left off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy tossed and turned, unable to sleep. He was holding Scott close, lying spooned behind his lover, but tonight Scott's presence didn't soothe him. He felt restless and... inadequate, even guilty. He loved Scott and wished he could give his lover what he really wanted; a child of their own, but it would never happen. Maybe they could adopt one?

That idea had him wondering about his own abilities to be a good parent. His youth had shaped him into the person he was today and he doubted he would make a good parent. Yes, Jean-Luc was a good role model, but raising a kid himself was a different matter. He would probably do everything wrong.

Unable to sleep, he untangled himself from Scott and left the bed. He slipped into the bathrobe and descended the stairs. Maybe watching some TV or reading his book would make him fall asleep.

But sixty minutes later he was still awake. His telepathy told him that Scott was still asleep and he switched off the TV. Maybe he needed some fresh air. How cold would it be outside? He detoured to the bathroom, searched the laundry basket and dressed in some sweats. After stepping into his shoes and draping his coat over his shoulders, he finally stepped outside.

Il fait très froid. Hugging the coat closer to his frame, he headed for the spot where he had found Scott earlier that evening. He sat down on the cold grass and shivered. I'm probably gonna catch a cold... dis is madness. What de hell am I doin' out here at dis hour? I should be in bed... wit' Scott. Suddenly, the hair at the back of his neck grew rigid and goose flesh appeared all over his body. He was no longer alone and it wasn't Scott who had joined him. "Why are you here?" He didn't want to turn around, look his demon in the eyes.

"You're troubled."

Remy shivered violently, realizing that postponing the confrontation wouldn't work. He slowly turned around and flinched, looking into Jean-Luc's eyes. But this wasn't his father; he had learned to see through the disguise. "What do you want, Sinister?" He couldn't help remember being slashed open by Creed in the tunnels. Sinister had lied to him, had manipulated him and the Morlocks had died because he had been stupid enough to work for Sinister. If only his powers hadn't gone berserk! Why had he made so many mistakes in the past?

"You do know that your mind is wide open?" Sinister, who had once more taken Jean-Luc's guise, studied his son. Remy seemed worried, melancholy, even depressed.

"Merde!" No, he didn't know that he had been broadcasting. Gathering his courage, he finally looked Sinister in the eyes and repeated his earlier question. "What do you want from me, Sinister? Why can' you leave me 'lone or do you need my DNA 'gain, is dat it?" His tone was bitter, flavored with a hint of fear. Sinister was stronger than he was and could easily overpower him. Should he try to wake Scott? Would Scott hear his telepathic call?

"What I want?" Sinister observed him, thoughtfully. "The question is what you want."

Remy flinched, staring into Jean-Luc's eyes again. "Stop it! You ain' Jean-Luc! I know betta now." But he didn't want Sinister to morph back to his normal shape either. Confused, he averted his eyes, backing away from Sinister.

Sinister considered his son's words and used his morphing powers to change the color of his eyes.

Shivers ran down Remy's spin, as Jean-Luc's eyes turned red. A red diamond also appeared on the other man's brow, finally revealing his identity. It constantly reminded him of the fact that he was talking to Sinister. "Go 'way..."

"I can't do that... yet." Sinister cocked his head, frustrated because Remy had re-erected his shields. Now his son's thoughts were hidden from him. "Why are you this troubled?"

"Why do you wanna know? So you can use me 'gain? I won' fall for your lies ever 'gain!" Remy was tempted to walk away, but wasn't sure Sinister would let him so he simply stared at the grass. "Didn' you do 'nough damage yet?"

Sinister actually sighed. "Remy..."

Don' pretend you care 'cause you don'!

Remy's thoughts invaded his mind and he heard the pain and anger in the words. "Remy..."

"Don'! Don' say my name! Jus' go 'way!" This man had never wanted to be his father, had used his DNA for his research. "You ruined my life once, I ain' gonna let you do dat 'gain!"

But Sinister wasn't prepared to back down this easily. "I was worried when you were possessed by Creed. I sat with you and I helped Xavier reverse the process." Why was it suddenly so important to him that Remy believed him? He had never really cared about his son, but lately, things had changed. He couldn't even blame the empathy anymore, knowing his paternal instincts were a separate matter. Remy's empathy wasn't affecting him right now and he still felt worried for his son. What had the empathy set in motion? "I didn't want you to find out the truth. I disguised myself as Jean-Luc because I know you trust him unconditionally and that was what we needed to reverse the process, your trust."

Remy remained silent, listening. Sinister's shields were too tight to probe and he felt blind. He only had Sinister's words to base his decisions on.

Sinister's red eyes burned as he addressed his son. "It's true that I only saw you as a source for DNA material for some time... but then things changed."

"When?" Remy looked Sinister in the eyes, trying to make sense of what was going on. Sinister could have hurt him, abducted him, killed him, but instead of doing that, Sinister was talking to him. How bizarre could things get?

"It started in Antarctica... I began to feel protective of you. Do you remember that Creed assaulted you?"

"And you defended me... told him off." Yeah, he clearly remembered that incident.

"That was when it started." Sinister carefully considered his next words, wondering why he was making himself this vulnerable. This wasn't like him! It's tied in with Remy. Something has set this off and I can't help wanting to protect him. "Then you got into trouble again when you absorbed Scott's depression. Xavier contacted me and..."

"What? De professor did what?" Startled, Remy took another step away from Sinister.

"Xavier figured that our bond would allow me to connect with you. You shut out the others and... something compelled me to try."

Remy shook his head. "You're playin' games... you always played games, figurin' out ways to hurt me... Why do you hate me dis much? What did I ever do to you? I was only a baby when..." Why was I born? Nobody wanted me... you even killed my mother.

Sinister received the accusation and couldn't deny it. "I killed her... yes."

But the past was the past and he couldn't change it. It was better to focus on the present. "What do you want from me now? Why are you here?"

Remy failed to shield his fear and Sinister realized that Remy expected to be hurt again, in whatever way. "Why don't you tell me what happened after I left?"

Remy shook his head. "You didn' expect Jean-Luc to call, did you? Why? Why pretend bein' Jean-Luc? Why pretend you wanna help me? What's de price? Rien comes for free in life. I learned dat lesson well!" His tone had turned self-accusatory and bitter. "Learned it de hard way!"

Sinister moved fast and covered the distance between them in mere seconds. Without giving Remy the time or the chance to retreat, he took hold of his son's right arm and held him in place. "You're going to listen to me!"

"Or what? You're gonna call Creed to slash me open 'gain? Or do it yourself dis time?" Remy felt emotionally exhausted and didn't know how to deal with the situation. "I feel like dere's no one I can trust... expect Scott, and you... you... look like poppa and..."

"Remy, I'm new at this as well. I don't know how to be a father!" Well, actually I do, but... my firstborn died and it's been so long since I felt this way!

"You never were my fat'er and you'll never be! You're... you're everythin' I hate!" Remy tried to free himself of Sinister's hold, but failed. He even considered charging something to break loose, but couldn't reach anything.

"Yes, I guess it's too late for me to be a father now, but... what are you doing out here in the dead of night? Why are you broadcasting like this?" He doubted another telepath could receive Remy's thoughts, but he could, thanks to the connection between them. Even when Remy wasn't close he always felt his son's presence at the edges of his mind.

Remy finally caved in. He still didn't believe Sinister cared, but fleeing wasn't an option either. Sinister would never let him go. "Feelin' guilty..."

"What for?" Sinister sensed the surrender, but didn't let go and tightly held on to Remy's arm. He still had a hard time dealing with his newly found protective feelings where Remy was concerned, but something urged him to do his best and to make Remy understand that he was serious.

"Scott wants chil'ren."

Puzzled, Sinister arched an eyebrow. That wasn't what he had been expecting.

"And I... I can'... bein' an homme. Mebbe I should end our relationship... den he can meet a nice femme and have chil'ren wit' her." Remy couldn't believe he was confiding in his arch enemy, but it had something to do with the trust and true concern Sinister radiated; It's probably fake... he don' care... I 'ways wanted to find my real parents, and den I find out that my fat'er killed my mot'er and is de scientist from hell!  

What child didn't want to be loved by his parents? Jean-Luc and Mattie had filled that void in his life, but only because the Patriarch had felt guilty for stealing him in the first place.

Sinister still had a tight hold on his son's arm and tried to catch Remy's elusive gaze. "Remy, I'm a scientist... a male pregnancy isn't impossible. Of course there are risks involved, but I could help you... if you really want to do this."

"Oh non!" Remy finally managed to shake off Sinister's hold and immediately backed away from the other man. "I ain' makin' a pact wit' you! I did dat once 'fore 'cause my powers were out of control and it got de Morlocks killed!" His heart had throbbed loudly when Sinister had assured him that a male pregnancy was possible, but Sinister was only playing him. He couldn't take the bait!

Feeling the distrust, hate and hope in Remy's mind, Sinister backed off. "Why don't you think it over? You can discuss it with Scott if that makes you more comfortable."

"Forget 'bout it! Forget I ever mentioned it. If I had dat baby, you'd want it for your experiments and no one should have to suffer t'rough dat! You 'ways wanted Scott's DNA, Jean's and mine and you ain' gettin' more of it! If I had a chil' wit' Scott you would take it 'way from us and don' you dare deny it!" Remy had grown deadly pale and wondered if he would make it back to the cabin alive.

That didn't even cross my mind! Sinister shook his head, sending his thoughts into his son's mind. Yes, I understand that you think like that and if we'd had this conversation years ago, it might have been the truth. But things have changed. You're my son. I feel like I have a second chance in life. My firstborn never reached your age, Remy, and God damned me for trying to revive them... It was one of the things that made me turn to Apocalypse for support. He gave me my armor, my powers and supplied me with the alien knowledge I needed for my research. I didn't care about losing my feelings back then and I never realized what I had given up until I started to feel again, thanks to you.

Remy was startled, receiving Sinister's thoughts. He had never expected the other man to open up to him and he still wasn't sure why Sinister was trying to convince him. Sinister always had a hidden agenda. He just had to find out what the scientist was after this time. Unwilling to answer telepathically, he spoke aloud. "I don' believe you. I'm goin' back to de cabin now and you'd betta leave me 'lone in de future." Sinister would now show his true colors by stopping him from returning to Scott. He turned his back to Sinister and began walking away from the other man, staring at the cabin. Would he reach it? Would he ever see Scott again? Or would he find himself in Sinister's lab when he regained consciousness?

Sinister felt a stabbing sensation where his heart used to be. He had never thought Remy's rejection would hurt so much, but he couldn't really blame his son. In the past, he had manipulated and hurt Remy; it was only normal for the Cajun to react this way. His only chance was to persevere and to show Remy that he was serious. It might take him a lifetime.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why can' we stay at de boathouse?" Remy didn't want to stay at the mansion and convincing Scott that they should stay at the boathouse hadn't worked. Following Scott inside, he felt Rogue's presence. She quickly dashed into the living room, avoiding him.

Scott had noticed her actions as well and placed his hand at the small of Remy's back, trying to reassure his lover. "I'm team leader, Remy. I have to be here in case of an emergency." Giving up leadership had never been this tempting before and he would probably hand over command if Remy asked him to, but the Cajun would never pressure him into doing that.

"She doesn' want me here," Remy whispered, miserably. He wasn't only receiving Rogue's thoughts, Storm's were invading his mind as well. She walked down the corridor, nodded her head in passing and then left again. "Dey don' want me here."

Scott sighed and led Remy to his room. They would pack his stuff and settle down in Remy's room.

"Hey, you're back!" Bobby smiled, and walked over to them. "Need any help?" Scott was packing and it didn't take him long to figure out that his friend was moving his stuff to Remy's room. He was happy that things were working out for them. "It's been boring without you guys around!"

Remy arched an eyebrow, finding that Scott was also packing a framed picture of Jean, Nate and Rachel. It was the only picture around that featured them as a family. Saddened, he realized that it was a manipulated picture. Scott had never had his family close and complete. Wish I could give you dat, a family, mais... Sinister had offered to help him, but he didn't trust the scientist. Sinister would keep their baby for his experiments. One way or the other, they had to find a way to live with that void in their lives.

"Let's do this." Scott picked up two piles of clothes and deposited them in Remy's arms. "Do you have enough space in your closet?"

"Sure, cher. I'll make space." Remy smiled, momentarily pushing his worried thoughts in to the back of his mind.

"Bobby, you can carry these..." Scott dropped more clothes into Bobby's arms. "Get moving."

"You're a slave driver, Slim!" Bobby protested, but started walking nonetheless. "Hey, Remy, Warren's here as well. He's been helping Hank with his research." Warren had changed these last few weeks and it was for the better. "Betsy's on the reserve list right now and no longer staying at the mansion." Bobby figured he should update Remy. "So Slim is moving in with you?"

"Oui..." Remy opened the door to his room and cringed at the mess he had left behind. He hadn't bothered to clean up before moving into the boathouse. "Drop everyt'in' on de chair, Bobby. I need to clean up first."

Bobby opened the curtains and Remy hissed softly as the bright sunlight hit his sensitive eyes. "Dere's a reason why I keep dem closed!"

"You're grumpy today." Bobby leaned against the wall and watched Remy put everything into its rightful place. He wanted to help, but had no idea where everything went. He would only create a bigger mess.

Going through the pile of Scott's clothes, he encountered the manipulated picture again and froze. He hoped that Scott wouldn't want it on the nightstand. He loved Jean, would always cherish her memory, but she was also competition and how could he compete with a ghost?

"It's sad really... Scott's a great parent, but he never got the chance to raise his kids. Rachel was already an adult when he met her and he never got to know Nate that well."

Bobby's words drove a knife through his heart. What if I make a pact wit' de devil and outsmart him? I could play Sinister like he played me. Non, I can' do dat. Sinister would win in de end. I'm only foolin' myself. I can' outsmart him, mais... Scott wants dis so bad and... I wanna give dis to him.

"Remy? What's going on?" He had been talking to Remy, but the Cajun wasn't responding,. The distant expression in Remy's eyes had him worried. "Was it something I said?"

"Non," Remy lied and began putting Scott's clothes away. "It's jus'... A lot has happened lately and I'm still tryin' to accept dat."

"I was scared when Creed had that hold on you. You attacked us. Scott and your father were so worried and they never left your side. We even had to force them to rest and eat occasionally. It surprised the hell out of me when Scott tried to get through to you by kissing you. I never suspected he liked men in that way." And he should have known, being gay himself. Seeing the discomfort in Remy's eyes, he switched topics again. "Warren, Hank and I are going to play some pool later... Maybe Scott and you will join us?"

"Mebbe," Remy said evasively. "Bobby, would you..."

"Leave you alone? Yeah, I guess you have a lot to do. Call me if you need any help!" Bobby's smile was partly faked, seeing the struggle in Remy's eyes. What was haunting the Cajun?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Remy? Don't take too long? I want to get some decent sleep tonight... Argh, why did I schedule a training session at seven in the morning?" Scott groaned, trying to lift Remy's dark mood. His lover had been brooding since they had returned to the mansion. At first he had blamed Storm and Rogue, because they were still avoiding Remy and their thoughts and emotions must be hurting the empath, but now he had the feeling that it was something that he had done. But he had no idea what he had done to upset the Cajun.

Remy stood in the doorway and was about to leave his room. Scott had already settled down in his bed, tucked beneath the comforter and he really wanted to join his lover, but he had to talk to Henri first. "I'll be back ASAP," he promised. "Go to sleep, cher." The confused expression on Scott's face warned him. "I'm just gonna get some fresh air..."

Scott allowed the lie, feeling Remy's restlessness in his mind. He doubted Remy fully realized that lying wasn't an option anymore. "Okay," he mumbled in the end, closing his eyes and trying to appear sleepy. Remy closed the door behind him and Scott was tempted to follow his lover to find out what Remy was hiding, but that implied he didn't fully trust Remy. Eventually, he decided to wait for his lover's return and if Remy was still restless then, he would address this issue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Henri? Got a moment to talk?" Remy hesitated to enter the lab without permission; he didn't want to disturb precious research.

Hank looked up from his files, smiled and nodded his head invitingly. "Of course you can come inside. Have a seat, Remy. Would you like some coffee or tea?"

"Non, t'anks, I jus' wanna ask you somet'in'." Remy sat down opposite the Beast and averted his eyes. Confiding in Hank was a big step, and it scared him.

"What would you like to know?" Hank sipped his Earl Grey and waited for Remy to continue.

"Male pregnancy... is it possible?" Remy quickly looked up and captured Hank's gaze. Seeing the surprise in the other man's eyes, he shivered.

"And you want to know because...?"

"Scott wants chil'ren..." Remy bit his bottom lip.

"I never expected that question," Hank admitted, considering their subject matter. "To my knowledge it hasn't been done before. Well, there were experiments, but the fetus had to be aborted in all cases in the first four months. The male body isn't equipped to carry a child. Giving birth presents another problem. The child could only be born when the surgeon performs a caesarian section. There are too many risks involved."

Remy sighed, feeling disappointed. "So it's impossible?"

"I'm afraid so," Hank admitted. "Remy, did you discuss this with Scott?"

"Non." Remy felt shy all of a sudden. "Mais he told me he wanted chil'ren..."

"And he looks to you to give birth to them?" Hank frowned.

"He didn' say dat, mais... mebbe dis is all wrong..."

"What's wrong?" Growing worried, Hank leaned forward in his chair.

"Mebbe I should end dis relationship so he can date a femme. Dat way he can have chil'ren. I can' give him what he wants."

Hank proceeded cautiously. "I suggest you talk to Scott about your feelings. Don't shut him out, Remy. Scott won't see it the way you do. He's happy with you and if you really want children, I'm sure Scott wouldn't mind adopting them."

Remy rose to his feet. He considered this conversation over with now that Hank couldn't help him. "T'anks for your time, Henri. Won' bot'er you 'gain."

"Remy, it's not a bother. We all need someone to talk to about our most private problems."

"Merci." Remy walked to the doorway and stepped into the corridor. Henri can' help me... Sinister can...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy softly closed the door behind him, but one mental sweep told him that Scott was still awake, merde!

"Remy, come to bed? I don't want to spend my first night alone in here." Scott switched on the Jugendstill lamp on the nightstand. He had to admit that Remy had an excellent taste when it came to decorating his room.

Remy remained quiet, but took off his clothes. Naked, he slipped between the covers. Facing Scott, he allowed the other man to cover him with the comforter.

"Huh, you're cold, Remy. Come here." Scott pulled his lover close and used his own body heat to warm him. "Where have you been?" Remy had been away for nearly an hour.

"Jus' went for a walk, cher." He hoped that Scott wouldn't pressure him, but his lover's next words crushed that hope.

"Remy, you do realize that your empathy works both ways? I know you're lying. I don't know what you've been up to, but it wasn't just taking a walk." Scott held his breath as Remy tensed in his arms.

"Non, didn' realize dat..." Remy licked his lips, feeling guilty for lying to Scott in the first place. "Talked to Henri."

"Why? Aren't you feeling well? Are you hurting or...?" Concerned, Scott quickly checked on his lover, but couldn't find any injuries and Remy wasn't having a fever either.

"Jus' needed to talk to him, please, cher... let it be."

The pleading tone convinced Scott that this wasn't the right time to address this. "You'll tell me when you feel up to it?"

Remy nodded his head against Scott's shoulder. "I will."

"Okay..." Scott gave in, but reluctantly. His fingers roamed Remy's back, caressing the cold skin.

"Cher, I don' t'ink... I ain'..."

"I'm not thinking about sex," Scott chided his lover gently. He knew that Remy wasn't in the mood to make love; the link told him so. "But I can still touch and hold you, can't I?" Please say I can, Remy, because I need you close.

Remy received Scott's thoughts and nodded his head. "Mais oui, you can touch and hold me. It'll take me some time to get used to dis... knowin' you're in my head, knowin' what I want and don' want."

Scott gently brushed Remy's lips, succeeding in shutting him up. You know what your problem is? You worry too much, Remy. I love you...

Je t'aime... Remy confirmed. Rolling onto his other side, he encouraged Scott to spoon closely behind him.

"Stop wiggling..." Scott chuckled as Remy ground his ass against his groin. "You're making me hard..."

Remy smiled against the pillow. "Don' mind fallin' asleep like dat..." But his mood darkened, seeing the framed picture of Scott and his family in a distant corner of his room, almost hidden by his books and he was once more reminded of Scott's desire to have children.

"Try to get some sleep, darling. We got an early training session. Close your eyes and go to sleep." Remy's mood had darkened for no apparent reason and that worried Scott.

Remy closed his eyes, shutting the framed picture from his mind. Mebbe I need to talk to Sinister 'gain, mais Scott can' find out. He'd never want a chil' Sinister helped create. I got to keep dis a secret. A part of him couldn't believe he was actually considering asking Sinister for help, but what options did he have?

None.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sinister was surprised when Remy hesitantly called out to him. He hadn't expected his son to contact him this quickly. Abandoning his research for now, he opened a tesseract and took on Jean-Luc's appearance, but this time his eyes remained red and the diamond stayed on his brow. For some time now he had wondered in what appearance he should present himself to his son, but so far all he had come up with was Jean-Luc's form. His usual appearance upset Remy and reminded his son of the time when he had manipulated him.

After stepping into the tesseract he used his powers to locate his son. Finding Remy alone, he opened another tesseract and stepped onto the grass. They were no longer on the mansion's premises, just outside the gates and as he looked into his son's eyes, he found them dull and haunted. He had to stop himself from reaching out to Remy and fold an arm around him. This reaction was so unlike him that it actually shocked him. When he had still been Nathaniel Essex, he had loved his wife and son, but Adam had died and his wife... No, he stopped himself, unwilling to relive the pain that had consumed him back then. Making a pact with Apocalypse had been his way to deal with the pain. Apocalypse had taken the pain away, but with it he had also taken the last bit of his humanity. And Remy had given it back to him. Unintended, he compared Remy to Adam, realized what he was doing and stopped. Adam had died as a child and he had no way of knowing what kind of man Adam would have become. But Remy was here, alive and healthy and for some reason his son had initiated this contact. "Remy?"

Remy flinched, hearing his name. What had possessed him to make contact with Sinister? The scientist had used him before and wouldn't hesitate to use him again. But Sinister was his only chance! "Is your offer still valid?"

Sinister arched an eyebrow, momentarily confused. "What offer?"

Maybe he should reconsider and hurry back to the mansion. It wasn't too late to stop this. "De male pregnancy t'ing."

Sinister watched his son closely and saw the discomfort in the red on black eyes, his legacy. Remy's shields weren't at maximum and he felt his son's fear of being manipulated again, being lured into a trap. This was his chance to show Remy that he was sincere, that he had changed and could be trusted. "You really want to go through with this?"

"Oui, havin' a chil' means a lot to Scott and I love him too much to deny him." Remy peeked at Sinister's eyes, but they were impossible to read. It still took a lot of getting used to, seeing Sinister's red eyes and the diamond on Jean-Luc's brow.

Sinister wanted to talk this over in depth. "We should return to my laboratory, where I can show you the procedure. It involves a number of risks you should be aware of. Also, I need to do a physical exam on you to determine your present condition."

Getting cold feet, Remy backed away from Sinister. "Ain' goin' back to your lab!" Once he was in Sinister's lab, he would be at the scientist's mercy!

Sinister stared into Remy's eyes. "Listen to me, Remy. If you really want to do this you'll have to trust me. You're putting yourself at great risk by getting pregnant. I'll need to monitor you closely and you would have to see me every fourteen days so I can check on the progress you're making. If you can't do that, don't follow up on the idea. It could get you killed."

"I don' trust you..." Remy took another step away from Sinister. "You hurt me before... you 'ways betray me."

"Things have changed," Sinister started, reassuringly. "I have changed. You're an empath, Remy. Don't you feel it?"

"I can'... your shields are too strong. I can' tell what you're feelin'."

Sinister hadn't realized Remy couldn't sense his feelings. He had assumed their connection worked both ways. "Then I'll lower my shields."

Remy's breath caught. "I can' believe you said dat!" What game was Sinister playing this time?

Sinister nodded his head and lowered his shields to let Remy in. "See for yourself. I'll allow you to probe my feelings and I'll even open part of my memories for you. You'll be able to see for yourself that I changed and what brought on the change. Do you accept?"
Remy wasn't sure he should venture into Sinister's mind. It could be a trap!

"There's only one way to find out if I'm being sincere." Sinister raised his right hand and offered it to his son, trying to establish some physical contact.

Remy's hand trembled as he placed it in Sinister's, realizing he didn't really have a choice. As they made contact, the world around him faded to black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Nathaniel! Adam is dead! You have to accept that. You can't go against God's wish.  He's dead. I want him back as well, but this goes against Nature. You can't do this, please, Nathaniel!"

"Be quiet, woman!" Enraged, Nathaniel Essex glared at his wife, Rebecca. "Our son just died! Adam was much too young to die; he was only a child! My research can give him back his life!" He cradled Adam's lifeless body in his arms. The doctors had been unable to save Adam and he had arrived too late, finding Adam dead. Rebecca was crying her eyes out, shaking, and barely keeping herself together. He had to be strong for both of them. "I'm taking him with me to my laboratory. Don't try to stop me!"

Determinedly, he descended the stairs to the basement and entered his laboratory. Many colleagues envied him because of his modern equipment and some thought he was collaborating with the devil. Their opinion mattered little to him. His knowledge, his research, would give Adam life. His son would live again and become a man, helping him unravel life's mysteries.

He placed Adam on an exam table and examined his son. This had to work! Frantically, he searched his desk for the formula, which he had developed these last few months. It was supposed to stimulate the heart and brains, bringing new life to Adam's dead body. He sat down on the exam table, rested his son's body against his, and parted the stiff lips. Slowly, he let a few drops of the elixir drip onto Adam's tongue. He believed in his research, this would work! His son wasn't supposed to die at this early age!

"Adam? Breathe for me... open your eyes. Breathe for your father... come back to us. Your mother wants you back in her arms!" He monitored his son closely and felt ecstatic when Adam shivered, drawing in oxygen. "Yes, son, you're doing excellently."

Adam shuddered. His eyes flashed open and he released one strangled scream. His eyes stared accusingly at his father who had brought him back from the dead. Tremors racked his body as his heart tried to pump cold blood through his veins.

"No!" Nathaniel screamed in pain as Adam's heart stopped beating once more. The young boy collapsed against him and he released another angry scream. "You can't take him away from me! You can't!" He was angry at creation, at God, the Devil; he blamed everyone and everything for taking his son away from him. His formula had only worked for a few seconds, and Adam had died a second time, this time in his arms. "No! No..." His screams weakened and became sobs. He should be upstairs, comforting Rebecca, but he couldn't pull away from his firstborn. Adam had been the light of his life.

"You don't possess the necessary knowledge to bring him back."

Startled, Nathaniel laid down his son and jumped to his feet. An abomination had appeared in his laboratory and he stared at the creature, whose skin was metallic. He had never seen anything like it before and shivered, staring into the cold eyes. "What are you? Leave me!"

"My name's Apocalypse and I can help you... In return you'll help me."

"Apocalypse?" Nathaniel's skin turned to gooseflesh in the presence of evil. "I won't do business with you. You're a demon!"

"A demon? No,  I'm a mutant like you."

"A mutant?" Nathaniel shielded Adam's body from Apocalypse's view. He didn't know how this creature had entered his laboratory, but he wasn't taking any risks.

Apocalypse played his trump. "You know what other people think... what they feel. That makes you a mutant. Join me, join my cause and I'll give you power you can only dream of. You'll hold life and death in the palm of your hand. I need a man with your ambition, with your intelligence and slyness. Don't throw it all away for these puny humans. You may be a doctor, but both of us know you could be so much more!"

Shocked, Nathaniel stared at the incarnation of evil. "You're the devil, tempting me so that I will forsake my faith."

"What faith? Your precious God just took away your son and you still believe in Him? I'm more powerful than He is! I can give you the power over life and death!"

Nathaniel stared at his son's corpse. This creature was right. His God had forsaken him; had taken away his only son.

"What do you have to lose?" Apocalypse took one step closer to Nathaniel. "Accept my offer and you can stop death in its tracks. I'll fill your mind with knowledge you only dreamt of! I know the secrets of the universe. Don't be a fool, accept my offer." Apocalypse extended his hand. "Accept my offer, Essex."

Nathaniel rocked Adam one last time, making his decision. Apocalypse was right. God had forsaken him and why should he believe in such a cruel god? Apocalypse offered him knowledge, the power to stop death! And wasn't that what he had always wanted? To conquer death?

Nathaniel's hand trembled as he placed it in Apocalypse's, realizing he didn't really have a choice. As they made contact, the world around him faded to black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, mon Dieu, why did you do it? I understand your pain, I felt it, mais to make a pact wit' him? Didn' you know what...

No, Remy, I didn't know what I was getting myself in to. I accepted his offer because I wanted to revive Adam. I didn't know he was playing with me...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why? What are you doing to me?" Nathaniel screamed as a sharp pain crawled across his skin. It burned infernally and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Apocalypse's powers flowed around him, cocooned him and his agony grew worse. His skin! His skin was burning, leaving metal in its place. Shocked, he stared at Apocalypse, who was laughing loudly. "Stop it!"

"No, you accepted my offer and this is the price you have to pay for your knowledge. I can't take any risks."

Nathaniel whimpered as the metal stretched out over his body, covering every inch of skin, replacing it. His eyes burned as well and he tried to close them, but Apocalypse yanked him back to his feet.

"Look at your reflection!" Apocalypse pushed him closer to a mirror, holding his prey in place. "Look!"

Shaking, he stared at his reflection. His eyes had turned red and a red diamond had appeared on his brow. "What did you do to me?"

"We're not finished yet!" Apocalypse grinned and raised his right hand.

Nathaniel yelped as Apocalypse's fingers settled on his head, reaching inside his mind, his soul, ripping it apart. "No..."

"I can't allow you to betray me. Your feelings make you unreliable... I'll take them away... You won't be an empath any longer... I'll leave your telepathy intact..."

Apocalypse probed Essex's mind deeper, until he found what he was looking for, then brutally tore his mind apart. Nathaniel screamed, collapsed on the floor and remained motionless. Satisfied, Apocalypse waited for his new ally to rise to his feet. The transformation was complete. While ripping the empathy from Essex's mind he had filled the scientist's mind with unspeakable knowledge. "Rise..."

Adroitly, he rose from the floor, pushing himself to his feet. Stretching his body, he tasted the power and his eyes glowed intensely, mentally reviewing all the knowledge he had gained. Respectfully, he bowed his head. "Master..."

Pleased, Apocalypse studied him. "You need a new name... You're no longer Nathaniel Essex... You're Mister Sinister..."

"Yes, Sinister..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The next decades I spent plotting against Apocalypse, trying to free myself of his reign... It's the strangest thing... was I really an empath? Why didn't I remember that?

Mebbe Apocalypse erased dat particular memory?

That's possible. Remy, have you seen enough? I lost Adam and later I lost Rebecca. You're my second chance. I'm serious when I say that I want to help you.

I've seen everyt'in' t'rough your eyes, mais I still remember de Massacre...

Can you give me this one chance, Remy? I won't let you down.

I don' know...

Please?

Mebbe... now take us back to de present?

Of course.

 

Chapter Two

Remy glanced at Essex, standing opposite him. "Would you... would you... You ain' Jean-Luc and I don' wanna see you as Sinister eit'er. Could you, would you... show yourself as Nat'aniel Essex?" It was his way of reaching out to the other man. He didn't get a verbal answer, but the form in front of him faded, then grew solid again. Cocking his head, he studied Nathaniel Essex. "Dis is you?"

"Yes, this is who I used to be, before I made my unholy pact with Apocalypse."

Remy suddenly realized that their hands were still clasped. I've got to trust my instincts, even if dey're misguidin' me.

Do you trust me enough to do this for you? I'd like to have a grandchild...

Remy hesitated, but then set aside his doubt and fear. "Oui, I trust you..." He might get hurt in the end, but at least he was making this decision of his own free will.

"Then we'll continue this at my lab." He opened a tesseract and waited for Remy to make up his mind.

Remy nodded his head firmly and followed his father into the tesseract.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy almost regretted trusting Essex when he found himself at his father's laboratory. It had only taken a few selected memories for him to change his mind and here he was, in the lion's den. One of the things that had made him decide to trust Essex was the fact that the other man had been an empath before Apocalypse had gotten his hands on him. It had strengthened their fragile bond and he hoped his father understood how hard it was to trust again.

Sinister, still in the guise of Nathaniel Essex, walked toward the exam table. "Please sit down," he said, pointing at the exam table. "I need to run some tests on you before I can tell how successful a male pregnancy will be. I also want to stress the risks you're running when you proceed with this."

In spite of everything, Remy smiled. Essex seemed determined to explain these risks to him. Did his father really care about him? Until a few days ago he would have thought it impossible. Suddenly, his smile died. A terrible pain sliced his mind in two and he clutched his head between his hands. "What's dat?" His voice shook with pain and he fortified his defenses. Slowly, the pain faded.

"It's nothing," Essex said, dismissing it. "Don't pay it any attention. Now lie down and try to relax."

Remy flinched as Essex attached several electrodes to his brow.

"Remove your shirt."

His hands trembled, obeying that order, but he unbuttoned his shirt. Essex proceeded to attach more electrodes to his chest.

"You must realize that every pregnancy, male or female, carries great risks. When the time of birth comes I'll have to perform a Caesarian section and that brings with it its own risks."

"What do I do?" He was determined to see this through and held still when Essex took several blood samples.

"You won't notice any changes the first two weeks, then morning sickness might hit. Expect all normal conditions that accompany pregnancy."

"Like what?"

"Like food cravings, mood swings and nausea. You'll need to rest regularly and I'll prescribe you hormone pills, which will aid the fetus' development." Essex wiped away the few droplets of blood on Remy's arm after taking a blood sample and checked the monitor. "You're in a good shape..."

"How will you do it? Do you need anyt'in'? My DNA or...?" Remy grew silent, suddenly realizing what he was doing. Could he trust Essex? Could he?

Essex looked at him thoughtfully. Was his old empathy stirring? Impossible. Apocalypse had ripped his empathy from him, but... he certainly felt something. "I have everything I need."

"So when are you gonna do it? Now?" Remy wasn't sure he wanted to do this right now. Maybe he needed to think everything over and then reach a well-balanced decision, but would Essex give him that time?

Essex eyed his son closely. "Not now. I want you to think this over very carefully. This is an important decision. Talk it over with Scott. You don't have to mention me, but tell him what you want to do. You'll need his support if you're going to follow through and maybe... maybe Scott doesn't want you to risk your life to have his child. This involves two people, Remy."

Remy blinked his eyes. Did he really say dat? Mon Dieu, I can' tell Scott. Once Scott knows Henri doesn' t'ink it possible, he'll wanna know who's guidin' me and he won' want anyt'in' to do wit' me or de chile. His shields were still strong and Essex hadn't received those thoughts. "I'll t'ink 'bout it."

"Good. I need to study your DNA and Scott's to make sure the baby will be healthy." Essex removed the electrodes. Remy looked tired, exhausted.

Remy had momentarily dropped his shields and the agony assaulted him once more. Someone close was in a terrible pain. Following his instincts, he got up from the exam table and started for the corridor.

"Remy, where are you going?" Essex followed his son.

"Who's in pain?" Remy locked eyes with his father and flinched. Nathaniel Essex's eyes stared back at him, not Sinister's red ones. Maybe he should stop referring to him as Sinister and use Essex instead? Or would he be deluding himself?

Essex shrugged his shoulders, knowing whose pain Remy was picking up. "It's only Creed."

"Creed?" Shocked, Remy halted in his tracks. "Why is he hurtin'?" Suddenly, he felt less safe than he had felt a minute ago. Too vividly he remembered how he had felt when Creed's instincts had ruled him. "What's he doin' here?" Suspiciously, he looked about.

"He's my prisoner. You don't have to worry about your safety." Remy had started walking again, honing in on Creed's pain and he didn't have a choice but to follow Remy.

"Your prisoner?" Confused, Remy looked up, trying to make sense of this new information. "I t'ought he worked for you."

"He hurt you..."

The simple admission caused Remy's heart to skip a beat. Freezing in his tracks, he locked eyes with his father. "What?"

"He hurt you... I can't allow that. It's partly my fault that he managed to get hold of you. I should have dealt with him when he assaulted you here at my lab." He had only been just in time to stop Creed from molesting Remy.

Remy's eyes grew big. "I don' understand." He didn't. He really didn't understand. "Why is he in pain?"

Essex sighed, resigned. "Walk on." He opened the door to the storage facility where Creed's tank was situated. He guided Remy to the right tank and then watched his son's face.

"Mon Dieu..."

Electricity shook Creed's body and his face contorted in pain. Seeing that he had visitors, Creed placed his hands against the tank and pleadingly stared at them. He didn't expect any mercy from Sinister, but maybe LeBeau would help him. Another bolt of electricity shocked his body and he released a mute scream. Please, please help me... the pain... He had never begged before, but the pain...! The jolt almost killed him time and time again, and then his healing factor kicked in, making sure he survived the next jolt as well... endless torture.

"Please stop it... stop it... de pain..." Remy's watering eyes sought out his father's. "Please, dis is monstrous. I can understand dat you don' want him loose, mais you can' do dis..." Remy flinched every time Creed's body was subjected to another jolt. "Stop dis..."

I've grown soft... I can't deny him. How did this happen? Essex raised his hand and switched off the electricity. "Is this what you want? He deserves to suffer, you know."

Remy slowly shook his head. "No man deserves dis kinda pain, not even Creed."

Creed had listened to their exchange and couldn't believe LeBeau had chosen to help him. Had the torture really stopped? He couldn't remember a time when he had felt this grateful. Thanks...

Remy ignored Creed and looked at Essex. "Promise me you won' turn it on 'gain after I’ve left. You asked me to trust you... Prove to me dat you're serious."

Essex wondered about his eagerness to please his son. When had Remy become the most important person in his life? Was his empathy returning and if it was, how would Apocalypse react to that news? "I won't switch it on again."

"Merci..." Remy nervously licked his lips. "Merci... Essex?" He added the name hesitantly, unsure how Essex would react. To his surprise, the other man smiled.

"Essex... I'd prefer Nathan, that's how Rebecca used to call me... several lifetimes ago." Feeling melancholy, he realized what he had lost when he had turned his back on Rebecca.

"Nat'an... bien..." Remy smiled shyly. Had he really gained a father?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What's going on? You've been preoccupied all day long." Concerned, Scott sat down beside his lover on the couch in the living room. They were alone in here, and he deemed it safe to discuss this matter right now instead of waiting until they had retreated to Remy's room for the night. He still wondered where Remy had gone most of the day. For some hours, Remy had disappeared from the face of the earth. None of the security cameras had been able to locate him. Remy had told him that he had gone for a walk, but Scott didn't buy it. "You're brooding."

"Jus' t'inking, cher," Remy said evasively. All day long he had been thinking about Essex's words. A male pregnancy was possible, but risky. He wish he could discuss this with Scott, but his lover would never agree to this as long as Sinister was involved. Non, not Sinister, Nat'an. I have to stop t'inkin' of him as Sinister. He changed...

"Remy? Can I ask you something personal?" Scott leaned in closer and manhandled Remy until his lover was lying down and Remy's head resting in his lap. Soothingly, he stroked the soft hair, instinctively feeling his lover's emotional turmoil.

"What do you wanna know?" Remy relaxed in spite of his problems. Scott's soothing caresses calmed him down.

"Why are you shielding your thoughts? I haven't been able to read your thoughts all day long. Is something wrong? Did I do something that upset you?" Scott held his breath in fearful anticipation. "I want this relationship to work. Please tell me if it's something I did."

Remy instantly felt guilty. "Sorry, cher. You didn' do anyt'ing wron'," he quickly assured his lover. "I was t'inking 'bout Sinister posin' as Jean-Luc and what to make of it. It's kinda... private." He hated feeding Scott white lies, but he needed the privacy right now.

"I guess that makes sense." Scott didn't feel convinced though. "Are you going to talk to Jean-Luc?"

"The next time he calls, oui. I asked him to gimme some time to t'ink."

"What will you do about Sinister?"

Remy tried hard not to flinch. "Avoid him?" Lying to Scott made him feel guilty. He wanted to confide in his lover, tell him that they were going to have a baby, but he couldn't. "I'm sorry I neglected you." Remy raised his hand and cupped the back of Scott's neck in his palm, slowly pushing his lover's lips closer to his. Claiming them, he tried to forget about Sinister, no Nathan,  the pregnancy and Scott's desire to have children. He had to be more careful in the future; apparently Scott didn't like it when he hid his thoughts from his lover. Mais I made up my mind 'ready anyway... I wanna make Scott happy... I'm followin' t'rough. De next time Sini... Nat'an and I meet I'll tell him to proceed. I wanna have Scott's child... I really do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You discussed this with Scott?" Essex waited for Remy to lie down on the exam table and probed his son's troubled thoughts. It was a pity that Remy's shields were this strong; it almost felt like the young man was trying to hide something from him, but he didn't want to pressure Remy in to telling him what was wrong. He had to move slowly and carefully if he wanted to gain Remy's complete trust.

"Oui, and Scott agrees." Remy avoided his father's eyes. He still had to get used to seeing Essex instead of Sinister. The changed appearance did make things easier though.

Essex studied his son closely and his unease increased. Suddenly, he felt reluctant to follow through. "You did discuss this with Scott, didn't you?"

"Oui." It took every ounce of Remy's courage to look his father in the eyes. "I did."

Essex decided not to push. "I already told you that this involves surgery. The fetus will need space to develop and I have to create an artificial skin fold. I will do that after anaesthetizing you."

Remy gasped; he hadn't known he needed to be anaesthetized. "Can' I stay conscious?"

"I advice against it. Remy. Trust me on this."

We're back to de trust t'ing 'gain. Do I trust him? But he had made that decision when he had agreed to this. "Do it."

Essex nodded his head, but... " You and Scott discussed the risks involved? He knows this can kill you?"

Remy's eyes narrowed. "Jus' do it."

Essex was too eager to make everything up to Remy to question the emotional turmoil in his son's mind. Slowly, he placed the oxygen mask over Remy's mouth and nose, and within seconds the young man was asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sleepily, Remy opened his eyes. His head felt heavy and he wanted to go back to sleep, but a voice was telling him to wake up. Unable to ignore the annoying voice, he tried to focus on his surroundings. At first, he didn't recognize the man standing at his bed, but suddenly he remembered that Sinister took on Essex's form whenever he was close. Thirsty, he licked his lips. "Sin..." Correcting himself, he said, "Nat'an?"

'Everything went perfectly," he assured Remy. "You're pregnant."

Remy blinked his eyes in disbelief. Automatically, his hand moved to his abdomen, looking for a change. But his abdomen was still flat and he didn't feel any different. He didn't know what he had expected, but this wasn't it... feeling normal. "Everyt'in' feels de same."

"Of course it does," Essex said, amused. "What did you expect? To be nine months pregnant upon waking up? You won't notice anything for another few weeks. Then you should prepare for food cravings, mood swings, headaches... everything that accompanies pregnancy." He helped Remy sit upright and watched as his son lifted his shirt to study his abdomen.

"I don' see a t'ing... did you really do it? I still feel de same."

"Trust me, you're pregnant." Essex even chuckled softly. Although he had offered to tell Remy about the procedure that would leave him pregnant, his son had refused to discuss it and he wasn't going to bring it up again. "You have to take good care of yourself for the next nine months." And Summers better keep you safe... "You'll check in with me every fourteen days. If something happens that worries you, contact me right away. We can't rule out a miscarriage, Remy."

Remy swallowed hard, only now realizing he was pregnant. How de hell am I gonna explain dis to Scott? I t'ought dat keepin' everyt'in' a secret was de best way to approach dis, mais what do I do when I start to show? I can' hide dis from Scott! What possessed me to do dis? He'll be mad as hell when he finds out I did dis behind his back. He'll be even more furious when he finds out 'bout Essex's involvement. I should have t'ought dis t'rough before takin' dis step, mais it's too late now. Dere's a new life inside of me.

"Remy?" Worried, Essex sought out his son's eyes. Damn those tight shields! He could probably force himself a way into Remy's mind, but his rediscovered conscience stopped him. He couldn't violate Remy's mind like that! "Do you want to rest a little longer? You still seem rather groggy."

"What's de time?" How much time had past since he had left Scott with some dumb and illogical excuse? Mon Dieu, Scott's gonna figure it out... He'll feel betrayed... Mebbe it's not too late yet to tell him what I've done, mais will he listen? Will he forgive me? Will I lose him?

Essex covered Remy with a blanket and encouraged his son to lie down again. "Surgery only took one hour."

Remy sighed, relieved. In that case he could rest a little longer. "Wake me in t'irty?"

Essex nodded his head; worried, but unable to pin down the source of his unease. Watching Remy sleep, he wished he could reveal himself to Scott and talk to his son's lover, but that wasn't an option right now. He had to trust Remy and hope that his son knew what he was doing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five weeks later

Scott watched his lover sleep and tried to label the worries that haunted him. Whenever Remy looked at him, the red on black eyes were hooded, hiding things from him. Lately, Remy was locking him out and shielding his thoughts. Something had come between them and he had to find out what it was before it tore them apart. Remy was too precious to lose and he couldn't envision a life without the Cajun.

Hey Remy, are you awake? He decided to approach his lover telepathically, trying to recapture their former closeness. Remy stirred, and encouraged, Scott caressed his lover's soft skin. Remy? We need to talk.

Remy finally opened his eyes and locked with Scott's. He had felt Scott's growing concern these last few weeks and he knew what to do to repair this situation, but he lacked the necessary courage. He was five weeks pregnant now and he felt the first stirrings of a new life inside him. He cherished that sensation and he didn't know how to tell Scott the truth. "What's wron', cher?" He chose to respond verbally, ducking the intimacy of telepathic speech.

Remy, why are you shutting me out? We aren't as close any more as we used to be. I miss that closeness.

Remy flinched, realizing Scott was going to push it this time. "Cher, please..." He never managed to end that sentence and quickly covered his mouth with his right hand. His stomach contracted and he gulped, fighting the urge to throw up.

"Remy?" Concerned, Scott rubbed his lover's back.

But the touch brought no relief and Remy jumped up from the bed and ran into the bathroom where he dropped to his knees. Holding onto the porcelain bowl, he emptied his stomach and suffered through an exhausting round of dry heaves. Mon Dieu, it hurts! His throat hurt, his stomach continued to convulse and cold sweat poured from his pores.

Remy, please tell me what's going on. You're scaring me!

I don' wanna scare you, cher... He felt miserable. Essex had warned him about the morning sickness, but he hadn't thought it would be this severe. How was he going to explain this to Scott?

Scott helped his lover to his feet and put some toothpaste onto Remy's toothbrush before handing it to the younger man. Here. you'll feel better after you got rid of that awful taste!

Merci. Remy brushed his teeth and rinsed with mouthwash. Would this happen every morning? He wasn't sure he could handle this. How did he get himself in these situations?

"Come on, let's get you back in to bed." Scott led Remy back to the bed and made sure his lover was resting comfortably. After tucking the comforter around Remy's form, he closely studied his lover. Something was wrong, very wrong.

"You scheduled a trainin' session dis mornin'." He wasn't sure he could participate, but he would try, for Scott.

"You're staying in bed, Remy, and I'll ask Hank to check on you. I want to make sure there's nothing seriously wrong with you." Remy started to protest, but Scott firmly shook his head. You're too important to me. Don't you dare say that nothing is wrong with you!

Remy stayed silent, safely nestled in a warm cocoon and he didn't feel like arguing. Mais Henri doesn' need to examine me, cher. It's probably jus' de stomach flu.

Remy, humor me. Even if this is the stomach flu, I want Hank to confirm it.

You worry too much, cher. It's rien...

Then let me worry, Remy...

Realizing that Scott wouldn't give in, Remy reluctantly nodded his head. He didn't know yet what he was going to tell Henri; the truth or white lies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Remy? Can I come inside? Scott wants me to talk to you." Hank couldn't label his unease. When Scott had told him about Remy's nausea this morning he had been inclined to dismiss it as a bad reaction to something Remy had eaten the night before, but the unease had only increased during the day. So now he found himself knocking on Remy's door, hoping the Cajun would let him in.

"Henri? Is dat you? I'm bien..." Remy struggled into a sitting position. He had been peacefully asleep until Hank had woken him. Merde, he had hoped Scott wouldn't mention this morning's incident to Hank. Wishful t'inkin'!

"I'm coming inside," Hank announced and he opened the door to Remy's room.

"Merde!" Remy wondered about his game plan. It was best if he appeared fit and lying in bed wasn't helping. He was in the midst of getting to his feet when a large blue hand settled on his shoulder. Instinctively, he tightened his shields and avoided locking eyes with Hank. During these last few hours he had grown accustomed to the sensation of new life in his body.

"Remy?" Hank studied the Cajun, wondering why Remy wouldn't meet his eyes. "How are you feeling right now?"

"I'm bien," Remy repeated. He still refused to make eye contact, trying to figure out his next move. He wasn't ready yet to tell the truth and Scott deserved to be the first one to hear it. And den Scott can decide if he wants dis chile... if he wants de ot'ers to know. Tellin' Henri now ain' right.

"Scott said you're feeling nauseous."

"I did, mais not any more. Must be somet'in' I ate last night. Mebbe it's de stomach flu. On de news dey said dat it was goin' 'round." He forced himself to meet Hank's eyes while tightly locking his thoughts and feelings away. Although he desperately wanted to tell someone that a new life was blossoming inside him, he couldn't tell Hank.

"I would like to run some tests on you, Remy. Why don't you accompany me to the lab?"

"Non, don' t'ink so, Henri. I'm stayin' here, gonna ride it out until I feel betta."

"Remy..."

He heard the warning in Hank's voice, but Remy shook his head. "Non, Henri, I ain' gonna submit to your li'l tests. It's jus' de flu."

Hank sighed. "You're too stubborn for your own good." He hoped the Cajun wouldn't get worse, but if Remy did, Scott and he would drag Remy to the lab kicking and screaming if necessary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merci mon Dieu, for lettin' Scott have monitor duty in de mornin' dis week. Dat way he doesn' see me t'row up every mornin'. He was really lucky that Scott left the bed at five and the morning sickness never hit before nine. That gave him sufficient time to drag himself into the bathroom and empty his stomach. It was becoming a pattern now, waking up, throw up and then crawl into bed again, and the pattern had been repeating itself for the last five days. Two more days and Scott would find out that 'the stomach flu' had never gone away.

He had kept his appointment with Essex yesterday and his father had assured him that everything was perfectly normal, including the morning sickness, headaches and backaches. Fortunately, Essex had given him some pills that should deal with the nausea. The meds needed a few days to take effect, but then the morning sickness would hopefully be gone. Essex however, had also told him that he had to suffer through the little body aches and pains.

Curling onto his side, he wrapped his arms around his waist, subconsciously trying to protect the new life inside him. Essex hadn't told him the gender of the child and he didn't want to know. All life was precious to him, especially now that it was flourishing inside him.

Hank had left him alone and had stopped pushing him for tests. Remy usually managed to hide his nausea until he had reached a bathroom and Hank had no idea what was really going on.

"Li'l one, I'll keep you safe, I promise. I'll love you, be dere for you every step of de way." Something inside him stirred, as if responding to his promise, but that was impossible. It was way too early for the fetus to understand. He was imagining things, hoping the fetus was developing correctly. Essex had warned him that he might have a miscarriage, but he refused to consider that possibility. The child would be strong and healthy.

I've got to tell Scott de trut'. You can' see a t'ing yet, mais I'll start to show soon and den it'll be too late. I hate doin' dis to him, mais I can' stay on de active list. What if I hurt de li'l one durin' a fight? I have to consider de chile's needs first. Mais how do I tell him? How do I tell Scott? He'll turn away when he finds out 'bout Nat'an's involvement. Why did I do dis behind his back? Don' I ever learn? Keepin' secrets put me into danger time and time 'gain and now I'm doin' it 'gain!

I'll tell him tomorrow night. I'll make dinner at de boathouse where we can have some privacy. I'll tell him everyt'in' and den I'll see what happens next. I know he loves me, mais will he love our chile as well? Oui, he'll love de chile, mais he'll be mad at me for goin' to Essex to help me. He'll accept de chile... mais will he still want me? Mon Dieu, why did I do dis?

Hush, li'l one, Remy will take care of you... He dismissed the sensation that he wasn't alone. Somehow it felt like another presence was making itself comfortable in his mind. Can' be de chile... I'm only six weeks... can' be de chile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scott was feeling nervous. Remy had asked him to spend the night at the boathouse instead of the mansion and in his book, that meant trouble. During the last few days he had noticed that Remy was trying harder to recapture the former closeness between them, but something kept the Cajun back and he hoped that everything would come into the open. Remy probably didn't think he knew that his lover was still throwing up in the morning, but he knew what had happened when he entered the bathroom and found that Remy had cleaned it. He cleaned it to eradicate the evidence; that he threw up after I left for monitor duty. He had been hesitant to bring it up, because Remy didn't like being fussed over, but it greatly worried him. Then there were the headaches Remy was complaining about, which only added to his concern. Yes, they were going to discuss this tonight and he hoped Remy was ready to talk about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Salut, cher...

Scott smiled, pleasantly surprised that Remy was using telepathy to greet him. His lover was dressed in a warm woolen sweater, jeans and yet he still shivered.

Come inside, cher. Dinner's almost ready. He felt far more nervous than he wanted Scott to know. So much depended on their conversation tonight! Scott went into the kitchen and sat down at the kitchen table while Remy gave the Gumbo one more last stir. Hungry, cher?

Scott nodded his head. Remy had made Gumbo once or twice since they were together and he liked the dish. "So why did you want to meet me here?"

Remy placed the bowls on the kitchen table and sat down opposite Scott. Dis is it. Mon Dieu, I'm so nervous, mais I'm doin' de right t'ing. Dis is Scott's chile as well. He needs to know. In  retrospect, I should never have done dis wit'out Scott's okay...  He carefully shielded this thoughts; he didn't want Scott to find out accidentally.

"Remy, the Gumbo is excellent, but I don't think that's why you asked me to come here." He placed his utensils on the table and captured one of Remy's hands in his. Lately, his love and affection for the Cajun had grown to new levels. I didn't know it was possible to love you more, but I do. Now tell me what's worrying you.

Remy fidgeted with the fabric of his sweater. Scott gently squeezed his right hand and Remy sighed, placing his other hand on Scott's, confirming their connection. "I did somet'in' stupid, cher."

Scott's heart skipped a beat. Shit, what's this about? Remy... "What did you do?" He rubbed the knuckles of Remy's hand, trying to reassure his lover that they could deal with everything.

"Mon Dieu, it's harder dan I t'ought..." Remy licked his lips, averted his eyes and stared at their hands. "Do you remember talkin' 'bout havin' chil'ren?"

Scott nodded his head. Hank had hinted that Remy had asked him about the possibility of a male pregnancy, and Hank had also mentioned the disappointment in Remy's eyes when he had told him it was impossible. "Remy, yeah, it's true. I want children, but we can adopt. We're men, we can't get pregnant and that's one aspect of being in a gay relationship that I fully accept..."

"Mais I couldn' accept it..." Remy trembled, nervously. "I'm pregnant, cher."

"What?" Scott frowned. "What did you say?" Remy couldn't be saying what he thought he was saying!

"I'm carryin' our chile, cher..." Remy peeked at Scott's face. Reaching out empathically, he quickly retreated, feeling Scott's shock.

"You're serious, aren't you? My God, Remy, what did you do?" Scott stared at his lover in complete disbelief. Now certain things made sense. "That wasn't the stomach flu... It was morning sickness and the headaches... But I still don't understand. How can you be pregnant? It's impossible!"

"I had some help," Remy admitted in a tiny tone. Scott hadn't pushed him away yet and he was growing hopeful that his lover would accept this situation.

"Help? From Hank?"

"Non..." Remy cringed. He didn't want to tell Scott the truth, but he had no choice. "I wanted to make you happy, cher, and Henri told me a male pregnancy was impossible, so I turned to someone else..."

"Who?" Scott held his breath. Remy's tension was obvious and his lover seemed ready to bolt any moment now.

"I went to see... Essex." Remy whispered the words, freed his hand and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Essex?" Briefly, Scott felt confused. "Who's..." Then he realized the truth and jumped from the chair. "You went to see Sinister? You went behind my back? I can't believe you would do that! You of all people should know better than to trust Sinister!" Shocked, he turned away from Remy and paced the kitchen, raving softly. "Sinister created..." He lacked the words to voice his shock.

"I don' know exactly how he did it," Remy admitted. "I only know dat he used your DNA and mine. De chile is ours..." Remy softly rubbed his abdomen in an effort to reassure himself. Scott wouldn't abandon them. "Please, cher, you must understand. You wanted a family so badly and Nat'an said..."

"Nathan?" Scott turned around, stared at Remy and shook his head. "What the hell is going on here?" It was quite a shock to find out that his lover, his male lover, was pregnant courtesy of his old nemesis. Yes, Sinister had helped Remy to rid himself of Creed, but he didn't trust the scientist that much. "You know what he wants the child for? He wants it because he can add the child's DNA to his gene pool! And Nathan? What's that about? It's Sinister! One of our enemies!"

"He's also my fat'er, cher..." Remy's words were barely audible. He had suffered through Scott's raving, knowing he deserved it. "He's changed, cher. His empat'y is back and..."

"His empathy?" Suddenly reality hit Scott hard. They are father and son! I can't believe Remy did this behind my back! "Why didn't you tell me? Ask me if I was okay with it?"

"I wanted to make you happy," Remy mumbled, feeling guilty. "I acted on impulse and den it was too late..."

"Pregnant, you're pregnant with our child and Sinister...?"

"Nat'an is monitorin' me closely. So far everyt'in' is goin' jus' bien. I hoped you'd be happy..." Tears hid in his red on black eyes, but he managed to keep them back. "Cher, did I lose you?"

"Remy, I need some time to process this..." It was too much in too little time. Scott headed for the doorway, opened the door and stepped outside. Remy got to his feet to follow him, but he raised his right hand, stopping the Cajun. "Don't. I need time alone to work through this." He gave Remy a stern look. "Stay here and don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. I'll be back." He closed the door behind him and marched away from the boathouse. He's pregnant... Remy's pregnant with our child and Sinister... The bastard played him again! Fuck! Furious, he headed for the mansion. Maybe demolishing some training robots would help him see things more clearly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In shock, Remy settled down on the couch. Scott had left, was that a good or a bad sign? He said he'd be back. I jus' have to wait. Dis is my fault anyway... He gently rubbed his abdomen, knowing the fetus was growing stronger every day. Also, the presence in his mind felt strong and expanding. So far he had successfully avoided thinking about the child's possible mutant powers. He couldn't rule out that he felt the first stirrings of telepathic, maybe even empathic life.

The headache returned with a vengeance and he lay down, pulling the quilt that covered the back of the couch with him. Fighting down another bout of nausea, he managed to stay calm. Would he spend the rest of his pregnancy like this? Alone and miserable? Non, Scott loves me... loves me... he won' leave me...

Emotionally drained, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Remy? Remy!"

The voice and the loud banging on the door woke him from his slumber. Remy opened his eyes, stretched, and got to his feet. Taking the quilt with him, he opened the door. "Henri?" He was surprised to see McCoy on his doorstep. Merde! Scott probably sent him! I wanted to keep dis between us and now he told Henri!

"Remy, can I come inside?"

"Naturelement." Like he had a choice! He headed back to the couch and collapsed on it. "Scott sent you, didn' he?"

Hank nodded his head. "He's concerned about you and asked me to talk to you." Hank raised an eyebrow. "You don't look very well, my Acadian friend. Maybe a warm drink will help? Hot milk is said to soothe the nerves."

Listlessly, Remy shrugged his shoulders. "Dere's some milk in the fridge." He wasn't thirsty, but maybe the warm drink would help.

Hank entered the kitchen and warmed some milk. He kept a close eye on the Cajun while pouring the milk into the mug. Making sure Remy wasn't watching him, he added some white powder to the milk and then stirred.

Remy was huddled beneath the quilt, doing his best to lock Hank out. His own emotions were upsetting him and he didn't want to deal with Hank's as well. "Merci," he whispered, as Hank handed him the mug. Once it had cooled down, he sipped from it. "Tastes funny." He arched an eyebrow, unable to identify the alien taste.

Hank smiled reassuringly. "There's nothing wrong with it. Maybe your taste buds are still trying to recover from the Gumbo you made?"

"Funny..." Remy sipped again, but the odd taste was still there. "Henri, mon ami..." He froze, seeing the insane gleam in Hank's eyes. His instincts kicked in and alarmed, he reached out. Henri? Henri... Mon Dieu... Hank's mind felt... off. The texture of the mind was different. It was vile and... His eyes grew huge, realizing he wasn't sitting opposite McCoy. "Dark Beast..."

Dark Beast bared his teeth and grinned. "You drank more than enough, LeBeau. It's only a matter of seconds now..."

His eyes almost popped from their sockets, feeling the sedative rush through his veins. "You... you..." Unable to finish the sentence, he dropped to one side. His eyes closed, and his body shivered as he lost consciousness.

Dark Beast moved quickly, placed the mug on the coffee table and picked up his victim, draping him over his shoulder. "Apocalypse will be pleased."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warren frowned, wondering why Scott was fighting the training robots like a possessed man. Okay, Slim, you helped me in the past, looks like it's my turn to help you. He shut down the training program and ignored the furious growl that came from inside the Danger Room. Steeling himself for whatever had upset Scott he entered the Danger Room and walked up to his friend. "Slim? We need those training robots. It's bad enough Logan wreaks havoc here every so often, if you start doing it as well..." He hoped the teasing would work and relax Scott. But the angry expression on Scott's face remained.

"Start the program again," Scott ordered. He still needed to get rid of his remaining anger.

"We might try talking." Warren rested a hand on his friend's shoulder and steered Scott outside. "Let's sit down and talk." His room was closest and would guarantee their privacy. Scott reluctantly allowed it, but crossed his arms defensively and Warren shook his head. "What's this tantrum about, Slim? I don't recognize you like this."

"Remy did something without my knowledge and..." Scott's voice trailed off. "I still have trouble believing he did what he did."

"And what was that?" Warren wasn't sure Scott would entrust his secrets to him, but he had to try. "I'm good at keeping secrets." Hell, he had known about Sinister helping Remy to find a way out of his depression and he hadn't told on the Cajun!

"It's something private," Scott said evasively. 

"Remy has looked bad these last few days. Does this have anything to do with his health?" Warren sat down opposite Scott and rested his feet on the coffee table. "Scott, we go back a long way, you and I. If you can't trust me, you won't be able to talk to anyone else either. Nothing you say will ever leave this room. You look like you desperately need to talk to someone."

Scott considered Warren's words and found them true. "Remy sought out Sinister behind my back."

Warren shrugged his shoulders; he had expected something like that. "And that surprises you? They're father and son. I can understand Remy. I would have wanted to know more about a father I had never known."

"But he plays Remy time and time again and Remy always ends up hurt!"

"Scott, you can't protect Remy from himself... And I doubt Sinister is the same maniac we knew. Yeah, he took Creed with him when he left that last time, but I doubt he faked his concern where Remy was concerned."

Scott released a surprised sigh. "How can you say that? Sinister created the Marauders! You know what they did to the Morlocks and to your wings!"

"I have had a long time to think this over, Slim. I blamed Remy for the loss of my wings and in the end I finally realized I was blaming the wrong person. Hodge took my wings... Scott, I’ve made mistakes myself. When I was Death, I wasn't myself. Apocalypse told me what to do and I followed his orders. I don't know what possessed Sinister to make a deal with Apocalypse, but I'm not condemning anyone anymore before I know the whole story." Warren's frown deepened. "I don't believe you're mad at Remy just because he contacted his father."

"There's more," Scott admitted with a strangled sigh. He had to make his decision now; could he count on Warren to keep this a secret? Yes. And he desperately needed to talk to someone. "Remy's pregnant with my child."

"What?" Warren's eyes widened. Mouth agape, he stared at Scott in disbelief. "He's what?"

"Hank told him that a male pregnancy was impossible so he went to Sinister."

Warren shook his head. "Why would Remy want to carry your child? I mean, we're men! Men don't give birth!"

Frustrated, Scott banged his fist into the coffee table. "I told him I wanted children... I was thinking about adoption, but Remy... He just now told me."

"That's why you were in the Danger Room." Warren considered his next words. "Scott, I can't say I understand why Remy did it, but shouldn't you be with him right now? To talk things through? If you're feeling like this, imagine how confused he must feel!" Warren got to his feet and opened the door. He still didn't understand why Remy was this determined to carry Scott's child, but Scott running away from the facts wasn't helping. "Go to Remy and talk this over. You're going to be a father, Scott..." Remy pregnant? If it wasn't the truth it would be hilarious! He had never heard of a male pregnancy before, but it certainly sounded like something the Cajun could pull off.

Scott got to his feet, but didn't approach the doorway. "I don't think that's a good idea, Warren. I'm still mad and I don't know what I'll do."

"Slim, do you love Remy?" Warren could hardly believe he was having this conversation! "Do you?"

"Yeah, I love him..."

Something in Scott's face softened and Warren smiled approvingly. "Do you think you'll love your child?"

Scott swallowed hard. "Yeah, I think so."

"Then what's the problem? Remy needs you right now. He just told you and you left. Knowing our Cajun he's brooding and feeling damn guilty for what he’s done. Get moving, Slim!"

Scott actually managed a smile. "Kicking me in the ass, huh?"

"If necessary," Warren confirmed. "I'm sure you and Remy can work things out. Now get going!"

This time Scott nodded his head and hurried into the corridor. Warren was right. He and Remy would work things out and, being honest with himself, he already loved the idea of having a child with Remy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy? I'm back. Can I come inside or do you want me to leave again? He stood in the living room of the boathouse, hoping Remy would react to his thoughts. He had told Remy to stay here and to wait for his return, but he couldn't be sure Remy had obeyed. And honestly, he couldn't blame Remy for leaving. The way he had stormed out must have hurt his lover. Remy? Remy? Are you still here? You have every right to be mad at me, but come on, answer me!

Losing patience, he marched into the bedroom they used to share, but found it empty. He searched the boathouse methodically, but the Cajun was nowhere to be found. "Damn it, Remy, what did you do this time? I told you to wait for me."

Frustrated, he collapsed onto the couch. Scanning the room, he noticed the mug on the coffee table. He curled his fingers around the mug; the milk was still warm. Remy couldn't have left long ago if the mug was still warm. Staring at the warm milk, he placed the mug at his lips with the intention to sip. "What's that awful smell?" The milk didn't smell like it should and after taking a tiny sip, he quickly put it down again. Something was wrong with the milk!

This can't be a coincidence. Remy's gone and the milk smells and tastes funny. Argh, Remy, don't tell me you’ve gotten yourself into trouble again! Scott left the couch and picked up the phone, trying to remember which team members were at the mansion. "Hank? I need you at the boathouse, and bring Warren..."

"The boathouse? What are you doing there?"

"Remy and I had dinner here and now he's gone. I have the feeling someone drugged his milk and carried him off."

"Any signs of struggle?"

"None. Hank, hurry up."

"I'm on my way." Hank ended the conversation and left the lab.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cold. He was cold and in pain. A low moan escaped his throat and he tried to move, but found that he was almost completely immobilized. He could move his fingers, but that was about it. He was lying on something hard and cold and leather bonds were keeping him in place. His eyes opened slowly, fearful of the bright light they might encounter, but the lights were dimmed and they flew open. Where de hell am I?

It didn't take him long to identify his surroundings. He was in some sort of lab, but it wasn't Essex's. This one was slightly different. So if Essex hadn't strapped him to this exam table, who had? Dark Beast! The memories returned to him and he shivered. His attempt to fight the straps was useless. Let's charge dem! But when he tried to charge them, nothing happened. Mon Dieu, he collared me! The dreaded weight around his neck was back. Non, I can' give in. I have to fight, have to fight for my chile!

The door opened and Dark Beast entered the lab. Remy didn't have to remind himself that it wasn't Hank; Dark Beast's evil mind was a constant reminder. Huh? I can still sense his emotions, even collared? Dark Beast approached him and Remy trembled, only now noticing the IV he was hooked up to. Dark Beast picked up a syringe and injected a dark fluid into the IV port. The silence was getting on his nerves. Why wasn't the other mutant talking to him? "Non, what are you doin'? Don' you dare hurt my chile!"

Dark Beast laughed. "Don't worry, LeBeau. I want your child alive and well."

Remy's heart missed a beat. "You're after my chile? Why? Ai.... Ai!" A terrible pain rushed through his veins. "What’s dat?"

"I can't wait eight months for your child to be born, LeBeau. This concoction will quicken the fetus' development. What usually takes months will now only take one, maybe two weeks."

Remy screamed and tried to move his bound hands to his abdomen. The tiny presence in his mind whimpered and he wished he knew how to protect his child. Mon Dieu... De pain! Only one, mebbe two weeks? He can' be serious!

Dark Beast leaned in closer and bared his teeth when he smiled. "Nine days from now your child will be born and I'll hand it over to Apocalypse. I don't know why he wants it, but he's paying me a lot of money and I get to keep your dead body to conduct some research on. Oh, didn't I tell you? Unfortunately, you won't survive the birth. Apocalypse gave me strict orders to make sure you die."

Remy's breath came in gasps. Apocalypse is behind dis? Why? Why does he want my chile? Mon Dieu, de pain... It's bad... I never felt anyt'in' like it and de li'l one is hurtin' as well. It's not supposed to grow dis fast... I can feel it grow, become stronger... Ai, de pain... It's burnin' me up!

Satisfied, Dark Beast watched his prisoner squirm on the exam table. "You'd better get used to the pain, LeBeau. It's the only thing you'll feel until you die."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What do we do now? Why isn't the professor here when I need him?" Scott paced the living area of the boathouse, watching Hank analyze the milk. Warren was trying to talk him into sitting down, but he simply ignored his friend. He felt damned guilty for walking out on Remy. If he had stayed, none of this would have happened.

"You're right," Hank said, after evaluating the test results. "I found a strong sedative in the milk."

"Someone abducted Remy! Abducted my lover and my child!" Oops, Hank didn't know that one yet, but he would have found anyway. Scott nodded his head in confirmation. "Remy's pregnant."

Hank stayed calm. "I already suspected as much, but how?"

"I helped him."

The three X-Men quickly turned around. "Sinister!" Scott's rage exploded seeing his nemesis in the doorway. At that moment he didn't wonder how Sinister had gotten past the security system. He simply marched forward and landed a right hook on Sinister's ugly visage. "You're to blame for this!" Only then did he realize that Sinister hadn't lashed back at him. The scientist had taken the blow and was now calmly staring at him. "You should have told him no!"

Sinister focused on Scott. "You agreed to this."

"I didn't!" Scott yelled the words. "I never agreed to his! He just told me!" Was it just his imagination or did Sinister's eyes lose some of their usual venomous expression? "You took advantage of him! You want the child for your own experiments."

"No." Sinister shook his head. "This was my way of making things up to him. I would never hurt Remy. I couldn't hurt him, even if I wanted to. There's something that makes me want to protect him. He's my son, my second chance..." Thinking of Remy, he ignored the X-Men. Completely focused on his own worries, his appearance changed involuntarily. Now that he was worried about Remy, he reacted like the man he used to be.

Stunned, Hank watched the transformation from Sinister into Essex. He knew Sinister was a metamorph, but he had seldom seen the scientist use his powers.

Scott realized it was time to take action. "Hank, I want you to return to the mansion. I'll stay in contact and should I need backup you'll have to provide it. Try to locate the professor and Logan, just in case we need help."

"Are you sure? Maybe I should stay and..." Hank recognized the expression on Scott's face and obeyed. "Report in every four hours." Quickly, he left to carry out Scott's instructions.

Scott studied Essex, seeing worry and even fear in the scientist's eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I sensed that Remy was in trouble." He was surprised that Scott and Warren accepted his presence. "Tell me what happened."

"Someone drugged his milk and then carried him off," Warren supplied. His first reaction had been to prepare for a fight, seeing Sinister in their midst, but Scott's calm reassured him and he decided to wait and see what happened next. He had never seen Nathaniel Essex; he only knew Sinister. Essex was dressed in Victorian clothes, had a black moustache and a trimmed beard and looked about forty. So this is who you used to be before Apocalypse got his hands on you? We have more in common than I ever thought. Apocalypse changed you into Mister Sinister and he transformed me into Death. Do you hate Apocalypse as well?

Essex gave Warren a thoughtful look. Had Warren sent him those thoughts on purpose or didn't the X-Man know he was broadcasting? Hate Apocalypse? Maybe. At the time I thought I was making the right decision and Apocalypse didn't force me to accept his proposal, not exactly. He just didn't tell me what price I was supposed to pay. If I had denied Apocalypse, Remy would never have been born...

"We need to find out who kidnapped Remy." Scott continued pacing. "Was it Creed?"

"No," Essex replied softly. "Creed's safely locked away."

"I hate not knowing what's going on!" Scott wanted to formulate a plan of action, but all he could do was wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The pain was always present and constantly shot through his veins. Eventually, it found the fetus and unleashed its effect. It was impossible to grow used to the pain and Remy lost track of time. Only the pain existed, the pain and the presence in his mind, which was frightened and miserable.

Dark Beast grinned after injecting more of his concoction into the IV port. Remy had been his prisoner for twenty-four hours now and he was already immensely pleased with the new data he was gathering. Ignoring his prisoner's pain filled screams, he tightened the straps, making sure the collared Cajun wouldn't escape accidentally. He was so focused on his project that he never noticed the arrival of his employer.

Apocalypse's eyes settled on LeBeau, who released a horrid wail as the pain got the better of him. Displeased, Apocalypse advanced on Dark Beast.

Dark Beast finally grew aware of Apocalypse and turned around with a leering grin on his face.

Apocalypse studied the Cajun, realizing what was going on. "You're going against my orders, Dark Beast."

"I didn't think you'd mind." Dark Beast met Apocalypse's eyes. "You want him dead, so what does it matter if he suffers some pain prior to that?"

Apocalypse walked over to the exam table. It took him several minutes to capture Remy's gaze with his. The empathy was still at work, but he managed to deflect it.

Remy blindly stared at the ceiling, but then something tugged at his mind. Giving in to the pull, he met Apocalypse's eyes. Mon Dieu, now my days are truly numbered... I'm so sorry, li'l one... He knew better than to expect mercy from Apocalypse and didn't plead with the powerful mutant.

"Untie him," Apocalypse commanded.

Dark Beast froze in his tracks. "What?"

"You heard me, untie him. There's an examination room next to your office where he'll be comfortable. I also want you to give him something against the pain."

Remy's eyes widened. Did Apocalypse really say dat? Why help me?

Apocalypse leaned in closer until his face hovered above Remy's. "Yes, you'll die after giving birth to your child, but that doesn't mean you have to suffer unnecessarily."

Remy licked his lips. "Why?" Would he finally get his answer? "Why do dis to me and my chile?"

"You're only a pawn in this game," Apocalypse revealed. "My minion, Mister Sinister, has found a way to undo the restrictions I placed upon him. I took away his feelings and his empathy to make sure he would serve me well. But you woke these feelings inside him again. He needs to know his place and you're going to help me."

"Dis is 'bout my fat'er?" The torturous pain made it hard for him to speak, but he persevered.

"Give him something against the pain," Apocalypse ordered again, undoing the last restraints.

Reluctantly, Dark Beast injected a painkiller into the IV port. "You're making a mistake."

But Apocalypse didn't react to Dark Beast's words. He helped Remy sit upright and watched as the Cajun's right hand settled over his stomach.

Remy gulped, feeling the slight 'bump'. Dark Beast's concoction was working; the fetus' growth had been accelerated. Eight days... if Dark Beast had spoken the truth he would give birth to his child in eight days! It was supposed to be eight months!

"Help him to his room and make sure he's comfortable. I don't have a quarrel with Gambit." Apocalypse watched Dark Beast and saw the mutant's reluctance to help the prisoner. After Dark Beast deposited Gambit on the bed, he grabbed the other mutant by the throat. "I said you could have him after he died. I want that baby for my Horsemen. This child will be the perfect Death and you're not harming Gambit before the child's born. Do you understand?"

Due to Apocalypse's hold, Dark Beast was unable to nod his head. "Under... stand..."

Apocalypse released Dark Beast and checked on the Cajun, who had curled up on the bed, his arms wrapped protectively around his waist. "Make sure he's comfortable. I'll visit again tomorrow to make sure you're following orders." Remy was the perfect tool to get back at Sinister.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Essex sat in a chair at the command center of the X-Men mansion. Scott kept a close eye on him and accompanied him wherever he went. The strain that Scott was suffering was clearly visible. Scott had been unable to sleep since this had started and going nonstop for forty-eight hours was affecting him. "You need to rest," Essex pointed out. "You won't be in any shape to help Remy if you exhaust yourself like this." His words made Warren and Scott look up. "What?"

"I didn't believe Remy when he said you had changed." Scott leaned back in his chair, but his fingers clawed the armrest. His former nemesis hadn't morphed back and Essex sat opposite him. "Remy mentioned you're an empath as well?"

"When I was still Nathaniel Essex I didn't know I was a mutant. I had no idea what empathy was, or telepathy. Looking at it in hindsight I know I built walls that were strong enough to even keep out my wife, Rebecca. The only one who managed to get past them was my firstborn, Adam, but he died when he was still a child."

"And Remy?" Warren crossed his arms, feeling curious.

"Remy changed everything." Essex met Warren's eyes. "I did some terrible things to Remy, and the Massacre was one of them. I doubt you'll ever understand, but Apocalypse took away my feelings and because of Remy they have slowly returned. I fought the return of my empathy at first, but then Remy drew in Scott's depression and your professor contacted me, asking for my help."

"I saw you morph from Jean-Luc back into Sinister when you left," Warren admitted.

Essex's head jerked up. "You what?"

"I promised to keep it a secret. Remy was already upset.” Warren realized he had made the right decision. "So how does it feel now that your empathy's back?"

Essex briefly closed his eyes. "I'm trying to make things up to Remy for my mistakes in the past. Helping him to get pregnant was my way of making it up to him."

Scott shook his head. "I can't believe Remy talked you into it." Oh, he knew Remy had probably wound Essex around his little finger after learning his father was so eager to help him. This had been Remy's game plan all along.

"There's one thing that I don't understand," Essex said, while shifting his gaze from Warren to Scott. "Why didn't he tell you? He assured me you agreed to having a child."

Scott shrugged his shoulder. "I'm still trying to figure Remy out. The one thing I have learned is that he's unpredictable. He might trust me, but deep down in his heart he still fears rejection. He probably felt it was safest to wait until the baby was born before telling me. That way, the baby would already be born and I couldn't do anything else but accept it. Remy's mind works in mysterious ways." A part of him rejoiced at becoming a father, but the other part felt betrayed by his lover's lack of trust in him. Remy, I would have accepted the pregnancy, the child, but things would have been a lot easier if you had told me straight away!

Suddenly, the air shifted, and alarmed, the three men jumped to their feet. "What's that?" Scott had no idea what was manifesting in the control room. It wasn't the professor; he could identify Charles' mind signature easily. This was someone else.

Essex was the first to identify the intruder. "It's Apocalypse." Instinctively, he shifted back to his pervious form and Sinister stalked closer to the moving air. "I had my suspicions, but I wasn't sure."

Scott suddenly felt trapped between Apocalypse and Sinister. His old instincts warned him not to trust Sinister. Essex was a different matter, but Sinister...? Am I going insane or do I trust Essex... uh, Sinister... Essex?

Apocalypse grinned at Sinister. "I thought I'd find you here, traitor."

Sinister's eyes narrowed. "What do you want?"

"Your obedience. You're mine... your soul is mine. You have no right to reclaim it."

"Let Remy go." Sinister gathered his powers, ready to strike out at Apocalypse if necessary.

"No," Apocalypse whispered, amused. "He's mine as well, but... come to me, swear an oath of allegiance and I might let the baby live."

"Never... I'll never serve you again."

Scott cringed. Remy's life was at stake here!

"I'll get him back," Sinister vowed. "And I'll destroy you."

"Destroy me?" Apocalypse laughed, amused. "Feel free to try. You know where to find me and... don't forget, Remy's only got seven days left to live."

"Why?" Scott moved closer, stepping between Apocalypse and Essex. "What did you do to him? He was in perfect health the last time I saw him!"

Apocalypse merely grinned. "Let's just say he'll give birth to one of the most powerful mutants in seven days and he won't survive the birth."

"You bastard!" Scott tried to launch himself at Apocalypse, unable to stand the triumphant grin on the mutant's face any longer, but Warren moved quickly and caught him before he reached Apocalypse.

"Don't do this, Slim! He's doing this to piss you off, hoping you'll lose it. Don't give him that satisfaction." Warren tightened his hold on Scott, who was trying to fight him off. "Remy needs you sane and in one piece."

Warren's words finally penetrated Scott's mind. "I'm going to get Remy back, Remy and our child!"

Sinister nodded his head in approval. "We're coming for Remy. You'd better return him to us now because we won't stop until we have him back."

Apocalypse smirked and then disappeared. Everything was going as planned; they would walk into his trap and then they would be at his mercy. Essex, we're not finished yet.

Scott freed himself from Warren's hold and turned around. "Don't you ever do that again! I was going to blast his arrogant head off!"

"And how would that help Remy?" Warren inquired, calmly.

"Warren's right," Essex said, quickly transforming back. He no longer felt like Sinister and didn't want to look like that monster anymore, but sometimes the armor came in handy. "Apocalypse was playing with you. We need to keep our wits about us and hit him when and where he least expects it."

Scott collapsed onto a chair, feeling drained. "What do you suggest?" The bastard's got Remy and my child! I want them back, both of them!

"I can open a tesseract and it will take us to Apocalypse's base." Essex thought everything over. "But first we need a plan."

Scott bounced back; making plans was something he excelled at. Looking at Warren and Essex, he realized it was up to the three of them to rescue Remy.

 

Go on to Part2

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