Title: Can't Run Forever
Author: Chris (teufelce@aol.co)
Website: none
_________________________________________________________________
Can't Run Forever 4
By Chris
Okay, so finding you wasn't really that hard, Logan. I simply triangulated your position down to a couple hundred miles from the postmark on your letter. After that, I calculated the time it took your letter to reach me along with a rough estimate of how long I figured you'd stay in one place, and what your next destination would likely be. Guess my math wasn't too far off, huh? Yeah well, I don't usually get much mail myself. Besides, it isn't polite not to reply to correspondence. Jesus, did I just write that? You're
not weak, Logan. There is NOTHING weak about you. We all have our weak moments and that's all it was, just a moment. There's still time to fix it.
Well I'm not on my bike either and I know ALL about staring at your letter trying to determine what to say. Can't say as I've been in many flea bitten motels though. I hope you've had your flea bath for the month. Damn, I'm sorry, reflex, you know?
That's good. I'm glad you get the point.
There isn't much to see, Logan, just my eyelids. It's the dimples. I smiled when you flipped me off with your claw. Hell, I smiled when you called me a 'dick'. It's a long list but it's not important. It's kind of a long story, Logan. We were engaged but Jean gave me back the ring when we decided we were better off as just friends. It was all make-believe, all just an illusion.
No, it's impossible to deny. I never have either, Logan. Not by a long shot. I didn't think that I could ever feel anything more powerful than what I felt for Jean but ... I was so wrong.
Well then, I guess we're even because I didn't expect it from you in the first place. I still don't know what to say, Logan.
Yes I did but only because I was talking about you. You know I don't drink though I'm tempted to grab a beer at the very least to help me get through this letter. You don't have to respond to it, Logan, just ... know it's how I feel, what I think. Diplomacy. A leader is often times called upon as a diplomat. That may be so but it's not like you're not good at getting yourself out of trouble. I wish there were something I could do to help. Oh shit, did I say that? Well I guess if you're lucky you'll see for yourself what I like, Wolvie. Too late, already responded to it so I can't take it back. Why are you drinking? I know you care about her, Logan, and you're right, I shouldn't have but I'm sorry to say that I did. I mean it takes a
big man to admit that he's wrong, right? Well ... that seems to be a common enough occurrence.
Yeah ... I guess it is... That may be true but isn't that better than hiding in a hole? Better than living a measured, predicable life surrounded by people who think they know you but don't? Isn't it better than feeling trapped or caged with no hope of escape? Christ, where is this shit coming from? Like? No, I don't like your chest, Logan, I LOVE IT!! I mean, my GOD, your chest is a work of art! Anyway, yeah you guessed it; I'm stalling. Uh .... you have a great ass, Logan. Phew, glad that's out...
Hell, Logan, if you hadn't ... left, I wouldn't have realized... I wouldn't have analyzed it. I would have continued on in my "perfect" little world of delusions, fighting what I was feeling harder than I fought Magneto and the Brotherhood. I mean do you really think any of this would have happened if you hadn't left? Oh I looked at you a lot, Logan, and I'd take that prize any day of the week! Yes, I do know what you mean and it is nice to know I wasn't alone. So what did YOU do in the shower? I did not just write that... I don't suppose I'd get away with scribbling that out? What DID I want? The same thing I want now, Logan... YOU!
You're wanted... Hey, what can I say? You know ... I almost left a note on her for you but I wasn't sure you'd appreciate it... More ... more of me there? Damn... I wish all of me were there, Logan... Putting the bottle down is good.
That I want you. That I've NEVER wanted anything more than I want you. That's .... that's nice to know. Looking forward to sleep, huh? Does that mean that you haven't been so plagued with those nightmares? I don't mean to bring it up if it's a touchy subject, I'm just ... concerned.
It's nothing major or serious, it's just... Well since Jean and I broke up, it's like someone died around here. I don't know what it is but the kids .... hell everyone is taking it harder than we did. I don't know... I meant I don't know why everyone's taking it so hard. Didn't want you to think that I didn't know what you would "come home" to... You'd come home to Rogue ... Marie. She misses you a lot, Logan, and you did promise her you'd be back, didn't you? You'd be coming home to the team; we need you there... Uh, there are a lot of people here that care about you, Logan, not the least of which would be ... me. Don't worry, Logan, I'm hoping to live a long life and I know getting Rogue hurt isn't the way to accomplish that! Really though, she's doing great and she hasn't really gone on any "real" missions yet.
Chances are she'll go on the next one however, Storm and I both agree that she's ready, and I will watch her like she's my own! I ... I need... I need ... damn, I didn't think it would be so hard ... hell there's a lot of things hard right now. Holy shit, I did NOT just write that. Well, guess that pretty much answers your last question, huh? I will, Logan, don't worry. She's a great ... YOUNG LADY, she's not a kid anymore. There are a lot of people here waiting to be your family, Logan. I take care of myself ... if
only so I'm here to take care of everyone else. Oh right, I guess you did repay that little life debt I had on you. Guess our lives belong to each other now... Shit, I just need to go to bed before I make a complete ASS of myself.
Thanks for going on the record and as you can see, I've babbled my way through another couple of pages. So ... I'll just get this ready for the mail and. Take care, Logan, okay? I'd like to see you in one piece again ... soon. Don't feel like you have to respond to this if you don't want to. I'll see you.
Scott