Title: Lost & Found

Author: RabidX (Rabid_X@yahoo.com)

website

Rating: NC-17

Pairing/main characters: Gambit/Nightcrawler

Series/Sequel: complete

Summary: Remy and Kurt lose hope and find each other.

Disclaimer: *sigh* Characters are so not mine. They're Marvel's. I wish they were mine...'specially when they're naked! :>

Warning: graphic violence, language, rape, and angst

Notes: With all the post-Antartica ones out there, I thought I'd try my hand at it. I dunno about the possesion Gambit got into...so I am ignoreing it for now...(need to catch WAY up on comics.)

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Lost & Found

By Rabid X

 

Chapter One

Screams echoed down the tunnel. The smell of smoke, gunpowder and blood filled it. He ran, trying to get away, but they got louder and stronger, until he thought he would go mad. Suddenly a hole was torn through the ceiling. She was there, reaching down to him, pulling him up. She lifted him high, flying up into a bright sky. They landed on a white ledge and She pulled him close.
"I love you" he said.
She smiled. "I know."
She stroked his face with a gloved hand, smiling all the while. She brought her face close, looking deep into his eyes. Her lips moved closer.
"Would you die for me?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Good" she said and kissed him.
A shock ran through him. He felt as though his mind was being ripped out of his skull. He was getting cold, so cold, and weak.
As he fell to the cold ledge, she whispered "I hate you." as tenderly as he had proclaimed his love.
Remy woke with a start. His eyes cast frantically around the room. Gradually he realized he was in bed, in the boathouse, and in upstate NY. He let out the breath he'd been holding. Another nightmare.
He fumbled for his cigarettes and lit one, sucking the smoke in deep. Grabbing the beer bottle next to them, he took a swig, grimacing at the flat taste. Too many bottles littered the floor around him. Too many cigarettes spilled out of the ashtray.
Things were, all in all, going well he had to admit to himself. He, of all people, had a team and they were doing well. Things had progressed back to what passed for normal around the X-Mansion. Noone tried to kill him this week. Noone tried to call in markers either. But still he had nightmares. Every night.
His mind would not let him forget all that had happened in the past year. He tried and tried to put it all behind him, but dammit, it bit his ass every night. Betrayal, death, hate, fear, they all boiled down to one thing; loss. What he lost. Respect for some of his "family"...lost. Love of Rogue...lost. Respect of both....lost.
"But hey," he mumbled to himself, as he got another beer. "all in a days work for Remy."
He would get over it. He would survived. He always did. Alone.
~~~~~~
The faces of the dead children stared up at him, accusing him for not helping them. He screamed and twisted the struggling bundle in his arms around and slammed it over his knee. The satisfying crack of bone was replaced by shouts in the distance. He looked around and saw torchlight coming towards him. He could hear the frenzied shouts of the people who were coming with them.
"Murderer!" "Demon!" "Devil" "Burn him!" "Kill him!"
He wanted to protest, to show them he had killed the one responsible. He lifted the body to show them and saw his brother's face. He recoiled in horror and was almost impaled on a pitchfork. A man took a swipe at him with a scythe. Tumbling to the ground, his head was clipped by a axe handle. He had to get out of here. He jumped to his feet and ran.
He tried to use his power to get away, but the blow to his head made him dizzy and lightheaded. He ran on, plunging into the woods that loomed in front of him. The shouts grew distant and he soon heard someone calling his name. He turned at the sound.
"Kurt, over here." said the soft female voice.
There She was, standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking the sea. She was smiling and beckoning him closer. When he neared, she pulled him close, kissing his lips. He melted into her arms gratefully. She would love him, take care of him, never leave him.
"Yes," She murmured, "I will stay."
The sky was split by a peel of thunder and lightening. Red clouds boiled overhead and a swirling vortex opened. Fire and the smell of brimstone swept out.
"Amanda!" a voice screamed out of the writing mass.
"I'm coming!" She cried, letting go of Kurt.
"Wait! Don't leave!" he shouted after her as she rose towards the sky.
"I won't leave you." she whispered as she plunged into the vortex.
Kurt moaned and opened his eyes. Rolling over, he glanced at the clock on the nightstand. 3:00 a. m. Midnight of the soul. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. Why did these silly dreams persist? He was over her wasn't he? Frustrated, he got up and threw on some clothes. Bampfing out of his room, he landed on the concrete of the patio out back of the school. Maybe a walk would clear his head.
He let his feet pick their own path while his mind wandered. Amanda had proclaimed her love and devotion and then gone off in search for her mother. He had known it to be a foolish quest and had refused to go with her. Margali's magical meddling had gotten him and Amanda both almost killed many times, even when they were children. He was not so sure Margali wanted saving. Evil came too easy to her now.
So they had parted somewhat bitterly. That should have been the end of it but it wasn't. He had lost. Lost out to the insane mother who had raised them. Sometimes he wondered if being raised by Mystique would've been better. He shook his head at that. She had given him up at birth. He'd lost that one before he even knew about it. So Mystique raised Rogue. A tiny, bitter feeling of jealousy sometimes perked up in his head over that. Irrational to be sure, but there none the less.
He stopped, quivering with long denied anger. Why? Why did all the women he loved, cared about, leave? Why was he constantly denied happiness? Mutant, that's why. The damned blue fur, strange hands and feet, tail, yellow eyes. People were always afraid of him. They thought he was a devil and tried to kill him even as a small child. Those that didn't, taunted him, looked at him like he was a freak, something dangerous. His faith was becoming less and less of a comfort. He was not Job, God didn't need to test him, punish him.
Now wait, said the small rational Kurt in his mind. You have a family that cares about you here. Ah yes, the X-Men. Mutants to be sure, but so normal looking, most of them. Scott and Jean had been almost the picture perfect, All-American couple. Ororo, kind and compassionate and distant. Piotr, so strong and manly. Logan the same, but feral and dark. Kitty made a DOLL of him even! That's what he was, a fuzzy elf, something to be cuddled and put aside when one grew up. Hank and Marrow were monstrous looking as well, but Hank was so infuriatingly well adjusted. Marrow, she showed the hurt and anger that Kurt was not allowed to reveal.
He felt a scream of rage building in his throat. Why was he denied his anger? Why did he have to be above it all? It was starting to eat at him. He was finding himself looking at his "family" with growing bitterness. Things were changing. He was changing. THEY were definately changing. Professor Xavier had lost his mind and gone on a rampage as Onslaught after he had ripped Magneto's mind apart! Something he'd sworn was an evil act before. Then there was his bizarre mental test of them all, pitting them against each other. They had killed each other, all because he wanted to see their loyalty! Rogue put the man she loved in a coma and, after knowing his mind, still judged him wrong. Remy! After the things she had done with the Brotherhood! Remy, they had left him to die. Die a slow death in a cold wasteland, even after they knew they were being manipulated! Remy had not been the only one of them manipulated by Sinister. Lost. They were lost. He was lost.
The scream burst out, growing until it trailed off into a wail of dispare. He fell to his knees on the path and began sobbing. He didn't feel the rain begin to fall.
~~~~~~
"Mon Dieu!"
Remy dropped the fresh bottle of beer he had just gotten out of the refrigerator. It rolled away to be forgotten as he turned around, trying to find the sound that had startled him. It had been a long, screaming wail, like that of a wounded animal. Lightening crashed outside and he jumped. Rain began to fall, hard and furious, against the windows and walls of the boathouse. He remembered that one window in his room was open and he ran to shut it. As he reached to pull it closed, lightening flashed again and another scream ripped through the night. Shilloetted against the night, Remy saw a dark figure in it's knees, shouting to the sky. Another flash of lightening revealed it's glowing yellow eyes. Kurt.
Remy ran outside not caring that he was in only shorts. What was Kurt doing out here, like this? As Remy reached Kurt, he could hear him shouting in German, sobbing and shaking his fists at the sky. Remy had never seen Kurt like this. He was like a mad demon, railing against God and the elements. He did the only thing he knew to do, he dropped to his knees next to Kurt and grabbed him, trying to pull him close. Kurt struggled and they went over in a heap.
Kurt fought against the arms that tried to hold him, his mind racing feverishly. They would not take him again! He would not be locked away in some cage to be poked and prodded. He would not be whipped for evils he did not have! Demon they thought him, then demon he would show them! He clawed and punched, seeking to free himself, to punish, to hurt.
Any other time, mud-wrestling Kurt would be fun. Now it was dangerous. How could he stop him? Remy tried to dodge another wild swing but it caught him on the breastbone, knocking him over. He lay on his back, gasping, trying to breathe as his heart staggered in his chest. Before he could recover, Kurt was on him again, eyes on fire, his strange hands reaching for his throat.
"KURT!" Remy screamed in his face, trying to bring him back around.
Kurt stopped. He blinked his eyes and looked down. Remy's frightened face looked back. What had he been doing? Why was he trying to kill a teammate? He scrambled off Remy, his usual grace lost in his confusion. He shook his head, trying to clear the disturbing images out of his mind. He had lost control and Remy had almost paid for it. He dropped his head into his hands and began to moan.
Remy sat up, rubbing his throat. Kurt was moaning and rocking on his knees now, the blind anger gone. What had driven him to this? Remy had never seen him lose control like that before. Despite the fear that was now in the back of his mind, tears sprang into Remy's eyes. Kurt looked so lost. He reached out a shaking hand to touch Kurt's shoulder.
"Mon ami." he whispered.
Kurt looked up at the sound of Remy's voice. Could the Cajun still be here? Did he really come out in this downpour to stop him? Why had he not run when he could? Kurt moaned again, dropping his eyes.
"Mon ami," Remy whispered again, moving closer, "Look a' me."
Kurt looked up. There was only concern now in Remy's eyes. He drew a shuddering breath.
"I... help me." he pleaded softly.
Remy nodded, tears spilling down his face, all but lost in the rain. He stood, pulling Kurt up with him and walked him over to the boathouse. They were both shivering from wet and water.
"De firs' ting is some dry clothes." Remy said, as he helped Kurt into a chair.
Remy rummaged in his chest and bathroom and came out in sweatpants and a t-shirt, carrying some towels. He knelt next to the chair Kurt was in and began to pull off his shirt. Kurt looked at him, his eyes filled with shame. Remy smiled at him and began to towel him off. When he had finished drying the short, blue fur of Kurt's torso, he tugged at the edge of Kurt's jeans. Kurt slid out of them, not caring anymore, just feeling cold and tired. Remy dried the rest of him and helped him into a t-shirt and sweatpants.
Remy lead Kurt over to the couch and wrapped him in a quilt. He quickly built a fire in the woodstove and brought out a bottle of bourbon. He poured Kurt a small glass and held it out to him. Kurt took it in a shaking hand and drank it down. Remy took the glass back, pouring himself a small bit in it and tossed it back. Setting the glass down, he turned back to Kurt. Kurt was staring at the flames dancing beyond the grate in the stove.
"Mon ami," Remy began, sitting down next to Kurt. "Please tell Remy wha's wrong."
."I had a bad dream," Kurt began, tonelessly, still staring at the flames.
Gradually, haltingly, the story poured out of Kurt. Remy listened, his concern for Kurt growing. All the things that had been done to him and all the things done to Kurt seemed to blend into one. Devil's children, both of them had been called. Hated and hunted, hurt by those that they cared about. They had both been beaten and chased. Both been taken in, Remy by the Thieve's Guild, Kurt by the Circus, only to be chased away again. The women in their lives leaving them behind. The men, fearful and mistrustful. Kurt did not speak of rape, but that was, perhaps, the only difference.
"How has he not broken like this before?" Remy thought as Kurt's voice quavered to a stop.
"Remy, I am sorry." Kurt said, quietly.
Remy looked at him, startled. "Fo' what?"
"For not being here to stop them from leaving you to die. For attacking you." Kurt looked at him, naked shame in his eyes.
"Kurt, mon ami..." Remy began.
"Nien! I do not deserve that name!" Kurt cut him off angrily. "I would haf killed you! I..." He stopped, unable to continue.
Remy pulled him close, hugging him. "Non, you wouldn't, you didn't. Don' blame yo'self fo' dis. I was scared you might hur' yo'self, not me. An' I know you wouldn't have let tings go like de did back den. It's ok."
Remy rocked Kurt in his arms, letting him cry. His own heart was breaking at his friends pain. How could he have not known he was not the only lost soul here? Gradually, Kurt quieted again and Remy looked down at him. Kurt's eyes were closed , his hands clutching the quilt and Remy's shirt. He started to pull away, but stopped as Kurt tightened his grip on him.
"Please, not yet." Kurt said softly. "I don't want to be alone."
"I'm not leaving. I jus' thought...you might tink dis was..." Remy stopped suddenly unable to speak. He didn't want to let go. He was happy to hold Kurt until his hurting had stopped, but he didn't know how Kurt felt about it.
He hugged Kurt tighter. "I will let go when you tell me to." he said.
Kurt buried his face in Remy's chest. He didn't want Remy to let go. Not now and maybe not ever. He had not let any of how he felt out before and it had felt good to do so. He felt cleansed and now he needed the reassurance of contact. Remy had not judged him, had not run, was holding him. It was all he needed right now.
Slowly, they both drifted off to sleep, neither letting go.
~~~~~~
Kurt slowly awoke, hearing the lapping of water. He tried to sit up only to find Remy's arms still around him. He smiled and snuggled back down. Remy mumbled in his sleep and tightened his hold. Kurt sighed contentedly. Suddenly his eyes flew back open as it sank in where he was and who was holding him. He carefully slid his way out of Remy's arms and onto the floor.
He watched Remy's sleeping face, marveling at the fragility of one so normally flippant. Remy's skin looked so soft that he wanted to caress it. He reached over and slowly stroked Remy's face. Remy turned his face into Kurt's touch. Kurt began to regret sliding off the couch. It had been warm and comfortable and it wasn't like he had never slept next to another man before. He had cuddled and kissed with some of the Romany he had traveled with.
Remy's eyes fluttered open. "Mo'nin' chere."
"Guten Morgen Remy." Kurt smiled at him, blushing slightly.
"What choo gettin' flustered fo'?" Remy asked, reaching out to stroke Kurt's blush.
"I am sorry if I awoke you or disturbed you last night." Kurt replied, not wanting Remy to stop touching his face.
"Hey, it's allrigh'. Remy don' mind a'tall. You needed someone las' night an' I was dere."
"Nien. You were more than just 'there' mien friend. You were there for me."
Remy smiled. "Anytime,mon ami."
They looked at each other for a long time, Remy lounged on the couch and Kurt leaning up against it. Kurt noticed the dark circles under Remy's eyes. He furrowed his brow in concern. Had the Cajun been sleeping much lately?
"Remy, is something bother you?" Kurt asked, moving back onto the couch.
"Non, it's not'ing." Remy replied, sitting up.
"Remy, please tell me." Kurt said, taking Remy's hand in his.
Remy sighed. After what Kurt had been through last night, should he really burden him with his problems? Looking at the concern in Kurt's eyes, he decided he should. His story poured out, easier than it ever had. After what Kurt had told him last night, he knew he could trust him. Kurt knew some of it, at least the adult parts. What happened to him when he was younger was a little harder, but he let it out. The beatings, the rapes, the fear. When he stopped, Kurt nodded and pulled him into a hug. Remy felt relief wash over him.
"What a pair we are eh?" Kurt asked, sitting back.
"Oui, a regular pa'r o' Sunny Jims." Remy chuckled.
"So, what do we do now?" Kurt asked.
"I don' know 'bout choo but, Remy could stand to eat some serious food. Wrasslin' give me an appetite."
They walked back to the mansion, each lost in thought. They ate breakfast the same way, surrounded by chatting teammates. Kitty and Piotr exchanged glances over the usually talkative Kurt's silence. Ororo wondered at Remy's lack of playfulness. Logan decided something was up, but both men didn't look down, only thoughtful, so he shrugged and kept eating.
After breakfast, both men volunteered to clean up. Glances were exchanged all around at that. Neither of them were the dish duty type. They usually protested some first.
"Somethin' buggin' you, Swamp Rat?" Rogue asked sarcastically as they started to clear the table.
Kurt bristled at Rogue's question. "Should something be?" he asked coldly.
Rogue looked at Kurt, eyes wide. Why was he answering for Remy?
"Ah was askin' him." she replied.
"Perhaps he does not wish to speak about it." Kurt replied.
More glances were exchanged around the table. Remy was taking dishes to the sink, smiling to himself. He couldn't help but feel good at Kurt's defense of him and had no wish to stop him. Kitty was even more confused than before, but intrigued. Ororo smiled thinking it was time someone besides her did something for Remy. Logan just chuckled.
"Maybe he can answer for himself." Rogue shot back.
"Rogue, if you were really concern for Remy's mental state, perhaps you should have asked him that question long ago. Oh, but wait! " Kurt slapped his forehead dramatically. "You know his mind, ja? That's what you said wasn't it? After you left him to die?"
"Now hold on a minute..." Rogue began.
"Nien!" Kurt spat. "You hold on a minute fraulien. You think that because Remy has said nothing to you, that since he lived, he is going to be ok?"
Kurt moved to stand in front of Rogue. " 'Somethin' botherin' you Swamp rat?' " he mimicked. " Why would anything be bothering him? He only almost froze to death, abandoned by people who he thought were family, by the woman who claimed to love him all this time. You make me sick fraulien."
Kurt wheeled to the rest of the room. "In fact, a good number of you do as well. No one bothered to truly take themselves to task over that. I cannot believe this is the X-Men I came back to."
" Well why don't you leave then." Rogue said, eyes blazing. "Ah'm not gonna make you stay."
"That's enough!" Jean yelled. "Kurt, you weren't there, you don't know..."
"I didn't have to be there to be sickened by it. Turning your backs on one of our own! I am just sorry I haven't said something before." Kurt said bitterly.
"Kurt's right." Kitty said. Everyone looked at her. "Well, Rachel was a mutant hunter and we didn't turn her out to die."
"She was brainwashed...." Jean began.
"So? Remy didn't know what was going to happen! I mean, my god Jean, you tried to kill alot of people when you were Dark Phoenix." Kitty shot back. "Remy, I'm sorry."
Remy shook his head. He couldn't believe what Kurt had started. He began to feel a little afraid. He didn't want Kurt to cut himself off from his friends, he had been an X-Man longer than Remy.
"Kurt..." he began.
"It needed to be said." Kurt stated. He turned back to Rogue. "If I were you I would be a little more careful with my words. The rest of you, try thinking once in awhile." With that, he grabbed Remy's hand and stormed out the back door.
They all stood there, stunned by what had happened. A chuckle broke the silence. Logan was leaning back in his chair, smoking one of his foul cigars.
"What are you laughin' at?" Rogue asked.
"Yer face. I was wonderin' who'd crack and hand you yer ass first. Never thought it'd be Kurt." With that he, got up and walked off whistling a little tune.
~~~~~~
Remy followed Kurt down the back lawn. Kurt was cursing in German and waving his arms about, punctuating points Remy didn't understand. Even his tail was lashing in anger. Remy sped up and got in front of Kurt, turning around to face him. Kurt stopped quickly to keep from knocking him over.
"You gotta slow down. I can' keep up w'it choo if you go dis fast." Remy said, trying to lighten Kurt's angry face.
Kurt nodded and they began to walk at a more normal pace back to the boathouse. Remy stole glances at Kurt as they went along. His jaw was set and his eyes were still burning. Remy still couldn't believe what had happened. Kurt had risen so quickly to his defense that he barely had time to realize Rogue was insulting him again. And now, here they were going back to Remy's place of exile. He couldn't believe it.
As they walked, Kurt's initial anger faded. He was still angry, just not explosive. It had galled him, the way Rogue could be so verdammit casual about it all. And Kitty, backing him up, was so sweet. He recalled the looks on everyone's faces and suddenly he had to laugh. They were so shocked! After all, Kurt didn't explode like that.
Remy looked over, startled. Kurt had stopped and was choking with laughter. He smiled a lopsided smile at the sudden explosion of mirth. Kurt was full of surprises today.
"Oh mien friend! Did you see the faces?" Kurt gasped.
"Oui, de where shocked alrigh'. You really gave it to dem chere."
Kurt straightened up. "Ja, and I will do it again and again until they get it right." His face, suddenly serious, broke again in a grin. "Come, I want to get back to the boathouse."
"Kurt, why you wanna come back w'me?" Remy asked, feeling a bit shy.
"To spend more time with you." Kurt said simply and took Remy's hand. "Is that all right?"
Remy nodded and felt a small thrill run through him. He had expected a pulling away after the confessions of last night and this morning. That's what usually happened. But here he was, hand in hand, and Kurt wasn't running. He resisted the urge to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming.
They sat and talked. They talked about everything they could think of. Remy told tales of jobs he had done, of life in New Orleans, of his love of art and the finer things. Kurt told tales of the Circus, of time with Excalibur, of his love of swashbuckling movies. Tall tales gave way to fears and desires. Each realized that they had more in common than just the tragedies in their lives.
Finally, Remy sat back, wiping tears from his eyes, his stomach hurting from laughing at hearing of the "Kurt Wagner, Warlord of Mars" incident. He looked around and realized it was dark out. They had talked the day away.
"We should get some dinner I t'ink." he said, standing.
"Ja, but I am not eating in that house tonight. Shall we go elsewhere?" Kurt asked.
Remy thought for a moment. "I know someplace, but I t'ink we'd better change clothes. I don' t'ink sweatpants would work."
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "What did you haf in mind?"
"You jus' leave it to Remy and go put on something nice, eh? I'll meet choo at de fron' doo'."
Kurt smiled and nodded. This sounded promising. On impluse, he gave Remy a quick kiss and bampfed back to his room.
Remy stood for a moment, stunned. Kurt's lips had felt so warm. He had wanted to kiss him all day, but the talking had made him forget for awhile. He certainly hadn't expected Kurt to be the one to do it first. Yes, he was full of surprises today.
Kurt took a quick shower and hurried back to his room. His heart felt lighter than it had in a long time. He was trying to decide what to wear when there was a knock at his door. Kitty stood there, smiling shyly.
"Can I come in?" she asked.
"Ja, I need your help Katarina. I cannot decide what to wear." Kurt said, pulling her in a shutting the door.
Kitty sat on the bed and watched Kurt pull out several outfits. He held them out in turn and put one back. Pulling out another, he turned to her.
"What do you think.......what?" he asked, seeing Kitty's bemused expression.
"What do I think of what? The outfits? It would help if you told me what they were for. Or what do I think of this morning? I am impressed and intruigued.Or what do I think of how you're acting? Kinda like someone on a first date." She ticked the points off on her fingers, smiling.
"Um. Well. I am going out to eat. Someplace nice. I don't know where. This morning. This morning I was angry. I do not regret what I said. Perhaps who all I said it too, but not the words. Um. It's not a date, just dinner with Remy...." he stopped. Kitty had cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Just dinner with Remy. Someplace nice. And you're acting like it's a date to me."
Kurt shrugged, blushing. Kitty rose and looked at the outfits he had out. She selected a pair of black baggy pants, with matching jacket, and a white silk shirt. She held them out to Kurt.
"Here, these look good on you. Just don't forget your image inducer."
"Danke. And I won't."
She moved towards the door. "Kurt, it's ok if it's a date you know."
Kurt smiled. "I don't know if it is or not."
"Then it is." she laughed, leaving.

 

Chapter Two
Kurt dressed hurriedly, grabbed his image inducer and skipped downstairs. Remy was just opening the front door as Kurt reached the bottom of the steps. Kurt stopped. Remy looked marvelous. He was wearing a deep chocolate colored suit with a lighter brown shirt. His hair was pulled back loosely, with a few strands out around his face. They smiled at each other.
"I see you're ready ta go." Remy said.
"Almost." Kurt touched the button that turned on his image induced 'normalcy'.
Remy cocked his head to one side. "Eh, I t'ink I like to other look better, but den you'd get all de attention."
Kurt sniffed. "What makes you think I won't anyway?" He threw his head back and they went to the car, Remy laughing.
The 'someplace nice' was a small French styled bistro almost out in the middle of nowhere. Remy told Kurt he had stumbled upon it one night while roaming around. It was a place where the city 'well-to-do' came to get away from the New York City feel. It was dark and intimate and they were left alone by other diners. Remy ordered an almost continuous flow of wine with the meal. Kurt was feeling quite tipsy by the time desert was finished.
"If I did not know better, I would think you are trying to get me drunk." Kurt said.
"Moi? Non. Perish de thought." Remy grinned.
Remy paid the check over mild protests from Kurt and they walked back out to the car. The rain of the night before had left a clear sky behind. It was spring warm with a fresh breeze blowing. Remy put the top of his convertible down and they drove slowly back to the mansion. Kurt relished the feel of the wind on his face, letting it clear his mind from the wine. Remy drove in silence, relishing the company of the young German next to him.
As Remy pulled the car into the garage, he made up his mind. Now or never. He reached over and turned Kurt's head towards him.
"Stay with me tonight." he said softly.
Kurt smiled. "Ja." He said, flicking off the image inducer.
They walked slowly back to the boathouse. The wind picked up briefly, swirling leaves around them. Kurt threw his head back and laughed. Remy smiled at him and pulled him into an embrace. It was impossible not to want this man closer. His joy was infectious.
Remy nuzzled Kurt's neck, savoring the soft feel of the fur on his face. Kurt wrapped his arms around Remy and kissed his ear. He felt Remy's smile against his neck. He nudged Remy's head up with his cheek and they kissed softly. Kurt then kissed Remy's cheeks, nose and eyes.
"Who's seducing who cher?" Remy asked softly.
Kurt just smiled and continued walking.
Once inside the boathouse, Kurt grabbed Remy and pushed him up against the door. He kissed him passionately, slicking Remy's tongue with his own. When the kiss broke Remy was left breathless. He looked down at the smaller man. The fire in Kurt's eyes sent a shiver through him. He pushed himself off the door and led Kurt to the bedroom. He silently thanked the gods of chance that he had cleaned it up before dinner.
Grinning slyly, Remy began to undress Kurt. The jacket was thrown over a chair and Remy slowly unbuttoned the silk shirt and pulled it open. He ran his hands over the silky fur of Kurt's chest, feeling the muscles twitch under his caress. He flicked each hard nipple with his fingers and raked his nails down Kurt's stomach. Kurt gasped and flinched. Remy just smiled wickedly.
He unbuttoned the pants and slid down to his knees, pulling them down with him. Kurt was not wearing underwear and his growing erection sprang out quickly. Remy smiled and kissed the top of the darker patch of hair surrounding it. Kurt gasped again. Remy sat back on his heels and looked at the dark cock in front of him. It was thick and long and twitching as Remy's breath blew across it. Remy flicked his tongue across the tip and Kurt thrust forward, wanting more.
Remy slowly slid his mouth down the shaft, licking the underside. Kurt put his head back against the wall and moaned. Remy's mouth felt so good. Remy slid up and down Kurt's cock, teasing and sucking it harder. Kurt knew he would cum if he let it continue. He reached down and pulled Remy up. He fastened his mouth on Remy's and tasted faint traces of himself on Remy's tongue.
Kurt struggled the rest of the way out of his pants and tugged at Remy's clothes. Remy laughed and helped him take them off. He led Kurt over to the bed and they lay down face to face. Hands roamed freely as they explored each other's bodies, finding out what each other liked. Kurt marveled at the smooth feel of Remy's pale skin and the receptivness of him. He was purring and moaning as Kurt's hands stroked over him. Kurt wrapped his tail around Remy's thigh and pulled him close. He hugged him tight.
"I could do this forever." he whispered in Remy's ear.
"Moi aussi, mon amour."
Kurt reached down and stroked Remy's erection lightly. Carefully, he closed his hand over it and moved his hand up and down. Remy buried his face in Kurt's neck and whimpered. Kurt's tail caressed Remy's buttocks and Remy squirmed. Kurt wasn't sure what to do next, but he knew he liked to be caressed and explored. He hoped he was doing this right. He gently fondled Remy's balls and slid a finger along behind them. Remy gasped, throwing his head back as Kurt found the sensitive spot behind them.
"S'il vous plait. Please...oh I need you in me now." Remy moaned as Kurt pressed his finger down.
Kurt sat back a bit and looked down. Remy's swollen lips were parted and his eyes were shut. He looked like a sweaty angel to Kurt. He looked around for something to make penetrating Remy easier. There was a bottle of lotion on the nightstand. Kurt smiled. Typical male place for lotion. He reached over for it and Remy grabbed his arm.
"Non. Jus' what you and I can do." Remy said.
"I don't want to hurt you." Kurt said, furrowing his brow.
Remy ran his hand over Kurt's cock. The pre-cum was heavy and wet.
"You won'. I swear." he whispered in Kurt's ear as he slicked the pre-cum over Kurt's cock.
He pulled Kurt on top of him and spread his legs wide. Kurt stroked Remy's cock, slicking his fingers with Remy's own wetness. He slid his wet fingers over Remy's warm hole and put the tip of his cock against it. Remy wrapped his legs around Kurt's waist, raising his hips up to meet the delicious hardness. Slowly, trying not to hurt him, Kurt slid into Remy. Remy pulled his knees up close along Kurt's sides and pushed down, trying to sink himself deep onto Kurt. His own cock was throbbing against the soft hair of Kurt's stomach.
Remy looked up. Kurt had stopped, his eyes closed, biting his lip to control himself. Remy caressed his cheek. Kurt looked into Remy's red and black eyes and saw trust and desire.
"Take me." Remy said huskily.
Kurt began to move in and out of the wet, hot flesh of Remy's body. Remy pressed up to meet every stroke, moaning and keening. Kurt reached down and stroked Remy's cock in time to his movements. Remy began to whisper his name over and over. Kurt didn't know how much longer he could last and began to thrust harder and harder. Remy came, throwing his head back, screaming Kurt's name. Kurt bit down on the white, exposed flesh and slammed into Remy on last time, growling his pleasure as he exploded into Remy.
Kurt collapsed on top of Remy, shaking at the intensity of what had happened. Remy kissed his face and head, murmuring in French. Kurt slid off and wrapped himself around Remy's back, spooning up against him. He buried his face in the auburn hair and sighed. Remy snuggled in close and kissed the hands that wrapped around him.
A long moment later, Kurt sat up and stretched. Remy looked at him quizzically. Kurt smiled and got out of bed.
"I haf to pee." Kurt said and Remy laughed.
"De bathroom's dat way." he waved a hand and sat up, reaching for his cigarettes.
Kurt looked in the mirror as he cleaned himself off. He saw one very rumpled, happy, fuzzy, blue elf. He smiled at himself and wet the washcloth he was using in warm water. Grabbing a towel, he strolled back to the bedroom. Remy was sitting up in bed smoking. Kurt saw that, he too, looked rumpled and happy.
"Wha'choo gonna do wit' de washcloth?" Remy asked, stubbing out his cigarette.
Kurt sat on the ege of the bed and began to clean Remy's stomach and chest. Remy smiled and laid back. Kurt motioned for him to roll over. When he did, Kurt cleaned his stickyness off Remy's behind. Remy giggled.
"Well, Amanda used to do this for me. I remember how much I liked it." Kurt said, giving Remy's ass a flick with the towel.
Remy yelped and flipped over. Grabbing Kurt, he pulled him quickly back into bed. They tumbled together and ended up face to face. Remy placed both his hands on the sides of Kurt's face and kissed him.
"Amanda never did tha' to your ass cher." he giggled.
Kurt had to agree.

 

Chapter Three
Sunlight streamed down on the sleeping lovers. Pale limbs were tangled with blue furred ones and one tail wrapped around both forms. Sheets completed the picture, making them look like an ill wrapped present. The intruder smiled a cold smile as he took in the scene.
"How sweet." he said in the early morning silence.
Sweet, but it must end. Sinister had come to reclaim what was his, and no one was going to stand, or more precisely lay, in his way.
Waving his hand, he made the sheet sweep to the floor. The fuzzy mutant, Nightcrawler, he remembered, stirred in his sleep and rolled over. Sinister regarded him for a moment. Perhaps he would take them both. He could always stand to have new material on hand. With a nod of decision, he waved his hand again and the portal from which he came moved to envelope the young men. A sudden collapsing movement and the three of them where gone, leaving the room behind.
Remy stirred. He was cold and stiff. He tried to move his hands to pull the covers over himself, but they wouldn't move for some reason. He opened his eyes and fear clutched his heart. This was not his room. He was still in bed, but it wasn't his bed. And he *knew* Kurt had not handcuffed him to the bedpost last night.
*Ok, a little charge and I'll be outta dis.* he thought.
Instead of the warm flow of his power filling his head, a blinding flash of pain filled it. Tears ran down his cheeks as he fought for consciousness. A low chuckle made him snap them open again. He knew that chuckle all to well. He began to shake.
"Good morning LeBeau. I hope you slept well." Sinister said as his face appeared over Remy's. "You certainly looked comfortable."
"Non non non." Remy whispered over and over.
"Ah but yes. So good to have you back." Sinister patted Remy's shoulder. "And I must complement you on your choice of lovers. So much nicer that the girl you were with."
Remy moaned. How could this be happening? Sinister was through with him, wasn't he?
"Oh not by a longshot, my dear." Sinister smiled, showing his pointed teeth. "How could I be through with such a delicious morsel as you?"
Sinister's hands began to roam over Remy's body. Shudders ran through him as those cold hands hit every sensitive spot. They kneaded his buttocks, pinched his nipples, ran themselves through his hair. Suddenly they were gone. Remy opened his eyes, now realizing he had shut them. Sinister was moving to the door.
"Not now, my dear, I have work to do. Oh and Remy," he turned, red eyes glinting. "Don't try your powers too often. The power restraint I planted in your head still has a tendency to overheat. I'd hate your head to explode." With that, he was gone.
~~~~~~
Kurt couldn't move. He couldn't scream. And, as much as he felt like doing it, he couldn't die. He was spread-eagle, limbs stretched to the limits, on a metal slab. Metal restraints were clamped tight on his wrists and ankles. Metal arms moved around him, poking, prodding, injecting needles into him. Pain shot through every nerve, flooding his mind with fire. He prayed over and over that this was a dream, that he'd wake in his lover's arms, that it would just stop.
It did. The arms moved away and the slab began to raise up, tilting him upright. He sagged in his restraints, muscles creaking. He began to sob in relief. He stopped as the pale, dark clad figure strode into view.
"Guten Morgen, Herr Nightcrawler." Sinister said, moving next to him. "I trust you are feeling terrible this morning?"
Kurt bared his fangs. "Where is Remy?" he hissed.
Sinister raised his eyebrows. "Concerned about your lover? He is much more comfortable that you, well at least physically, right now. But don't worry too much, you'll be seeing him soon."
Kurt gathered his will and tried to bamph away. He gagged on the new pain that pierced his brain. Sinister tutted at him .
"Don't damage the goods just yet, it does take a little time to clone a new one."
Sinister moved away and Kurt heard various noises as he worked around his lab. Occasionally, Sinister hummed to himself, other times, he chuckled. Once or twice he even made noises of surprise and interest. Kurt railed silently. Where was Remy? Was he allright? What did the monster want with them? His tail lashed impatiently. He stopped.
His tail was not clamped down. He cast his eyes about. There was nothing he could grab with it. He prodded the clamp on one of his ankles. Smooth. No release button there. He cursed aloud. Sinister turned and saw the frustration on his face. He chuckled at Kurt.
"Oh dear. I seem to have left your tail free. Not that it will do you any good." He smiled a shark toothed grin and went back to his work.
Hours later, Sinister turned. "Well, I believe that is enough work for today. I really shouldn't keep my other guest waiting. He must be so lonely by now. Sleep well."
Sinister left and the lab went dark.
~~~~~~
Remy had been dozing fitfully when the door opened. He jerked awake as Sinister entered. The room, Remy had noted, was Sinister's bedroom. Victorian style mixed with well hidden state of the art accouterments. The bed Remy had been cuffed to was a large four poster with lots of pillows. Remy knew this bed too well.
Waving a hand, Sinister let the cuffs fall. Remy rubbed his wrists and waited. Sinister looked at him for a long moment.
"Go shower. You smell like a harlot." Sinister said.
Remy knew better than to refuse. He didn't know where Sinister's base was, nor where Kurt was. With Sinister's powers and none of his own, he knew he couldn't get away. Not yet. And maybe, just maybe, if he did what he was told, Sinister wouldn't hurt him too badly. He showered quickly and returned to the adjoining bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.
Sinister was sprawled on the bed, naked. His white body seemed to glow in the dimly lit room. He smiled a wicked smile at Remy. Rising off the bed in a fluid motion, he crossed the room and stood in front of Remy. He tipped Remy's head up with one finger and bent to kiss him. Remy turned his head away, unable to bear the thought of it.
Sinister frowned. "You used to enjoy my kisses, my dear."
"I learned betta'." Remy said, fighting to keep fear out of his voice.
Sinister raised an eyebrow. "I see. Well then. Perhaps I can reteach you."
Before Remy could react, Sinister backhanded him. He flew across the room and slammed into the side of the bed. He tried to scramble to his feet, but Sinister grabbed his hair and hauled him up by it. Remy struggled and was backhanded again. Sinister dropped him on the bed. Remy tried to scoot across but was grabbed by the ankle and fell forward on his face. Sinister ripped the towel off him and, in a flash, wrapped it around his neck. Hauling back, he pulled a struggling Remy up on his knees. Remy dug at the towel to no avail. Sinister pulled it tighter and Remy saw spots in front of his eyes.
"Yes, struggle pretty one. I do love it." Sinister hissed in his ear and loosened his grip, letting Remy fall face down on the bed.
Remy gasped, trying to catch his breath. He tried to get up, but Sinister still held the towel. Sinister moved onto the bed behind him. Pushing his knee between Remy's legs, he slammed his cock into him. Remy screamed. Sinister pulled up on the towel as he slammed over and over into Remy. Remy's scream choked off into a gurgle. He was being ripped apart by the huge cock. He couldn't breathe. He was going to die, he knew it.
~~~~~~
Kurt's eyes flew open. He had been dozing in a feverish sleep. Now his mind was being assaulted by terrible visions. He was being raped. No, wait, Remy was being raped, he was just feeling it. He was in Remy's mind, feeling the pain and terror. He gasped. He couldn't breathe. He was choking. His body was being ripped open. He was dieing. Remy was dieing. He tried to scream, but nothing came out.
Suddenly, with a disorienting wrench, his mind was ripped out of Remy's and slammed into Sinister's. He felt the writhing, twisting body under him and liked it. He was slamming over and over into Remy's body. Choking him, taking him. The voice in his mind laughed at his revulsion as his own cock grew hard. With a roar, he and Sinister both came.
As suddenly as his mind had been invaded, it was set free. He screamed then. Screamed loud and long, finally breaking down into tears of shame and fear.
~~~~~~
Sinister released the towel, letting Remy's unconscious body fall across the bed. He felt better than he had in a long while. He smiled at the traces of fear and pain lingering in his mind. Sweeter than honey. He lay back, idly stroking Remy's body. He was content enough that he didn't notice the dark shape forming in the corner at first.
"Sinister." a deep voice said.
Sinister started. He looked at the shape and sighed. He wondered when HE would come back.
"What do you want?" he snapped testily. "Can't you see I am busy?"
The voice chuckled. "I see you have your playboy back. An unwelcome distraction I think. You should get rid of it. You can reclaim it later."
Sinister frowned. He didn't want to give LeBeau up just yet. And these constant interruptions where distracting him more than anything. Still, when HE had come to him this time, Sinister had been amazed at the change. Perhaps he shouldn't anger HIM now. HE was growing more and more unstable.
"Better yet" the voice continued, " put them both back. Their condition will serve as a reminder to their friends. They may think I am gone, but this will tell them that the work will continue."
Sinister nodded. It had clumsy merit. He wasn't normally so crude, but it would work for now. He had, however, hoped to spend more time with his new toys. Oh well, can't have everything.
"It shall be done." He said, rising.
"Good." said the shape. A gleam of red shone out briefly and then it was gone. The corner was empty.
~~~~~~
The setting sun gave a feeble light into the room. Kurt stirred and looked around. He was back in Remy's bedroom. Remy was beside him, asleep, perhaps. Maybe it had all been a dream. The aches and pain of his body slowly sank in. It was no dream. He shook Remy gently. Remy didn't move. He shook Remy harder. Still nothing. He rolled Remy over and saw the bruises around his long neck. His lips were blue.
Kurt snatched him up into his arms and bampfed to the medical lab. The sudden burst of his power staggered him and he almost dropped Remy. Hank jumped at the sound and ran over.
"My stars and garters! What happened?" Hank cried as he went to work on Remy.
"Sinister. He took us. He....choked him....oh Hank!" Kurt sat down hard and began to cry. The memories of what Sinister had made him watch and feel flooded him.
Hank hit the intercom. "Jean, Ororo, I need you down in the lab now."
As soon as the women entered the lab, Hank motioned them over to Kurt. They helped him up and found him a robe to put on.
"Kurt," Jean said. "What happened?"
Kurt looked into Jean's eyes. What she saw on his face alone brought tears to her eyes. He shook his head mutely. He didn't know where to begin.
"Would you let me in Kurt?" Jean asked quietly. "We need to know."
Kurt nodded. Jean sat down next to him and held his hand. While they were busy, Ororo moved over to where Hank was working on Remy.
"By the Goddess!" she exclaimed. "Henry is he alive?"
"Yes, barely. Kurt got him here just in time, I believe." Hank replied as he worked. "His throat is almost crushed and he's got a broken cheekbone. I am worried about internal bleeding as well. I don't know how long he has been unconscious, nor how long he hasn't been breathing. We will have to see."
Ororo looked down at her friend. His face was a mass of bruises. He was breathing again, but raggedly. Blood was seeping from his split lip and both his eyes were black. She held his hand. It was cold.
"I'm going to have to call Cecilia." Hank said. "I can't do this alone." He lopped quickly over to the phone and placed the call.
"Tell her I am on my way to get her." Ororo said as she hurried out. "Flying will be quicker."
Hank turned to Jean and Kurt. She was holding him, rocking back and forth. She looked at Hank, her face stricken. He moved over and placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt looked up, tears running down his face.
"I need to look at you too." Hank said quietly. "Remy is fine for now. Let's make sure you are sound."
"Hank, Kurt said they had some sort of inhibitor placed in their heads. You may want to check them." Jean said.
"I think Kurt's is gone considering he teleported them in here, but I will check Remy. Where should I look Kurt?" Hank asked.
Kurt rubbed the back of his head at the base. "It hurts here."
Hank nodded and proceeded to check Kurt out. *Hank* , he heard in his head. He looked at Jean.
*Sinister raped Remy and made Kurt experience it from both sides. I thought you should know.*
Hank shuddered. *Thank you* he thought back. *I believe I will sedate my nave hirsute companion when I am done checking him.*
~~~~~~
"Well," said Cecilia, pulling off her gloves. "He's going to be sore and hoarse but he will recover."
The other X-Men sighed in relief. They had been waiting to hear some good news. Jean had related the bare bones of the story to they rest of them, leaving out the rape for now. The reaction had been angry to say the least.
"Kurt is fine as well. Only bruised for the most part. Some lacerations, but they were minor." Hank said.
"So now what?" Logan asked.
"Now, we wait for them to recover." Charles said.
"I ment what about Sinister? How do we stop him from doing this again?" Logan growled.
Charles sighed. How could they ever stop Sinister coming and going when he wanted to?
"I suggest we put better security measures on the boathouse for one." Kitty said. "I don't even show a blip on the security map for it anymore."
"That's a good start." Charles said. "I also want to go take a look around down there myself. Sinister may have left some trace. We may also be able to learn something from the device he implanted in Remy's head."
The other X-Men nodded. They dispersed to various chores, moving upstairs. Kitty and Ororo stayed behind. They both wanted to see their friends.
"They're both heavily sedated and only Kurt could be considered to be conscious." Hank warned as he led them in.
The beds were side to side. Remy was prone, breathing with a respirator. Kurt was partially propped up and holding Remy's hand. His eyes were half lidded, heavy with drugs. He nodded to Ororo and squeezed Kitty's hand.
"Hey Fearless Leader." Kitty said softly.
Kurt smiled weakly at the joke. "Nien. Not leader any more Katarina."
"Yeah, but you're still one of the best." she replied. "Glad you're ok."
"And I as well." said Ororo, holding Remy's other hand. "You saved his life."
Kurt grimaced. "We were lucky. I still don't know why he just let us go like that."
"I don't think we will ever understand Sinister. I don't think I would want to even try to know what he thinks." Ororo said.
Kurt shuddered. He knew all to well what Sinister thought about some things. He wondered if he would ever sleep without drugs again.
Kitty kissed his cheek. "Get some rest ok? I'll be back in the morning."
He nodded and both women left. He looked over at Remy's still form. His heart ached as he watched him sleep. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the visions that haunted him. Sleep swam up to meet him and he drifted off.
Sometime later, he thought he heard a voice talking. Slowly he opened his eyes and saw Rogue sitting next to Remy. She had tears running down her face.
"Ah don't understand what happened back there. Ah wish I knew why I left ya behind. Ah'm sorry Remy. Everyone thinks Ah really wanted ya to die. Maybe Ah did once. But Ah was wrong. Ah cain't love ya like ya wanted me to. You know that. Ah don't want cha t' die either. Ah was just so confused...."
She wiped her face. Talking to an unconscious man. Maybe one day she wouldn't be afraid to talk face to face with him anymore. She jumped as Kurt cleared his throat.
"Rogue..."
"Ah'm sorry. Didn't mean ta wake ya." she said, getting up and moving to the door.
"Wait." Kurt said. "Please."
She stopped and turned to him. "Ah wouldn't think ya'd want me around right now."
Kurt shook his head. "I spoke out of turn yesterday. I was not there, not in your head and I had no right...."
She cut him off. "No...Ah'm glad you said what you did. It hurt, but Ah guess Ah needed to hear it. Ah did him wrong. You jus' take care of him ok? He needs you."
"I need him as well." Kurt said.
Rogue moved over and hugged Kurt carefully. He blinked, surprised.
"Ah think ya'll may just be good together. Get better so we can take care of Sinister for this." she said and ran out of the room.
*Don't worry, fraulien. I will.* he thought and drifted back to sleep.

 

Chapter Four
Remy was dreaming again. His body thrashed weakly in the bed. His hands had become claws digging into the sheets. Kurt pushed the button that would call Hank and tried to wake him. Just as Hank rushed in, Remy's eyes flew open and he reached for his throat, gagging.
"No no Remy don't pull on that!" Hank admonished as he pulled Remy's hands back down. "You are safe. Calm down. You mustn't try to breathe on your own yet, let the respirator do it's work."
Remy finally calmed down and his eyes looked around. He was back in the mansion. Sinister wasn't the one leering over him anymore. Hank was looking at him, the same calm expression he always had on his face. Kurt was holding his hand and looking worried. He was safe for now. A shudder passed through him and tears rolled down his face.
Hank patted his shoulder. "Let me make sure you haven't undone any of Dr. Reese's or my work. Then I think you should sleep some more. Are you in any pain?"
Remy shook his head. The pain he felt was dull and far away for now. He wished he could talk, and motioned to his throat.
"Just let me look and we'll see about taking it out." Hank said and went about his work.
Remy rolled his eyes to look at Kurt. Kurt smiled at him and kissed the hand he was holding. Remy gave his hand a squeeze. He was glad Kurt looked to be allright. He had vague memories of Rogue talking to him, of Kurt saying quiet prayers in German over him, of Ororo holding his hand. He closed his eyes and waited.
"Well, all looks to be in order. Let's take this contraption out. On the exhale Remy." Hank said as he grasped the tube.
With a scraping, wet slither, the tube was out of Remy's throat. He winced and tried to swallow. His throat felt raw and throbbed.
"Wata..." he croaked.
"Ice chips." Hank corrected. " And nutrition through IV for now. We will try soft things tomorrow. I will fetch the ice and perhaps Kurt will oblige you with some."
Kurt nodded. Hank moved off to retrieve the ice. Remy fumbled for the button that would raise the bed. With it raised, he turned to look at Kurt more fully. Kurt was also in a bed, side pressed against his.
"You ok cher?" Remy whispered. It was as loud as he could get.
Kurt laughed softly. "You are the one on the tubes and you worry about me? I am fine. Bruised and bumped but fine. Herr Macoy wanted me to stay for observation last night. Now, I shall stay until you can go."
"T'ank you." Remy said. " I would like dat." he coughed. It felt like his throat was on fire.
"Here here," said Hank, bringing a glass and spoon. "Not too much chatter you magpie. You're lucky your throat wasn't crushed completely. What were you choked with?" Hank knew, but he was curious to see what Remy could remember. Had to make sure the mind was as sound as the Cajun's got.
Remy's face screwed up. "A towel." he murmured.
Hank nodded. " How much do you....."
"All of it." Remy interrupted. "Remy remembers all of it."
*Third person again. Distancing behavior. To be expected.* Hank thought.
"Remy, " Kurt said quietly. "I know what happened. He ... he told me what he did." *Can't tell him everything yet. Let him ...let me...recover first* "Jean knows, she had to read my mind when we got back."
Remy nodded. His face turned red with shame and he closed his eyes. Kurt knew. Jean knew and probably told Hank. That he could live with, but not Kurt knowing. Knowing it had happened again, that he was dirty again. That he was weak. He was lost again.
*Happy* he thought. *Never allowed to be happy. Never be free again.* Tears threatened to start again. He had to regain control.
Hank coughed and excused himself, leaving the two alone. Remy barely noticed. He felt arms wrap around him and opened his eyes. Kurt was pulling him close, holding him, stroking his hair gently. He wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, not believing he was staying. The tears came.
They sat there like that for a long while. Tears were flowing down both faces as they held each other. Remy finally sat back and looked at Kurt. Kurt had a lost look on his face as well. Remy furrowed his brow.
"Wha's wrong? Where you at?" he asked.
"Oh Remy...I can't..." Kurt began. How could he tell him now? Tell him that he felt it all, that he liked part of it? He felt like he had been the one to rape Remy.
Remy nodded. He understood. He had been right. Kurt would be careful and circumspect. He wouldn't just throw Remy down, wouldn't hurt a teammate. He had manners after all. The closeness, however, would fade as soon as Remy was on his feet. As soon as Remy was out of the medical lab, he would again be alone.
"It's ok. Remy will be allrigh'." He said, trying to let Kurt off the hook. He didn't want him to stick around if he was uncomfortable.
Kurt looked at him. Something was wrong. Remy had closed off. Kurt shook his head. What was going on? Why was he shutting him out? Why were they shutting each other out?
"Wait....leibchien. We should talk, but I don't think ...." he began, taking Remy's hand.
"No, Kurt, it's ok. You don' have ta stay. Vaize...go on." Remy said, trying to pull away.
"Un Globlict. Remy, I want to stay. I need to stay. Stay with you. I ....I had hoped you would want me to." He pulled Remy close again. "I don't want to hurt you more, but I had better tell you everything. Just promise me you will listen before you speak."
Remy nodded. Here it came.
Kurt took a deep breath. "Sinister....he did not tell me what happened. He showed me. He put me in your head. I felt it." He swallowed dryly. " He ... he made me see it from him too. What he did to you."
Remy looked horrified. It was bad enough he had made Kurt feel the rape, but to make Kurt feel he was *doing* the rape, that was too much. Remy had been raped before, he at least knew what was going on. It was never easy, but he could always fool himself about it. Kurt, however, had never had it happen to him and certainly never done it to someone. Kurt couldn't even shut his mind off, distance himself from the pain while it happened, like Remy did. Remy began to shake.
"I will kill him." he said, gritting his teeth. "He has used me befo', but to do dat to you...."
Kurt was shocked. Remy wasn't mad at him, he was mad for him. After all that happened to him, he was still worried about Kurt. He felt a great weight fall off his heart.
"Oh leibchien. I thought you would ...I thought I may lose you there. You will stay with me?" he asked carefully touching Remy's bruised cheek.
It hurt to smile, but Remy did. " You ain't gonna lose me. I though' you may go...but I guess I was wrong, as usual."
"Ja, wrong again. I found you. I refuse to lose you now." Kurt said and kissed his swollen lips lightly. "Sleep, leibchien, I will stay with you."
Remy snuggled back down. He could sleep now.

Chapter Five
Remy awoke with a jerk. He had been dreaming that Sinister still had him and was using him the root out his teammates. That they were dieing like the Morlocks. He shuddered and looked to his left. Kurt was not in the chair he had occupied for the last 3 days. Remy frowned. Well the man probably was getting something to eat or in the bathroom. Remy smiled a little.
*Greedy, selfish boy* he thought to himself.
He yawned, wincing at the stiffness and pain in his throat and cheek. Hank had told him he could get up today. He couldn't wait. He hated this place. Too many bad memories of sterile walls and equipment.
The door opened and Kurt walked in carrying a tray. He smiled when he saw that Remy was awake. He had two black eyes, and a terrible bruises on his left cheek and throat, but to Kurt he looked wonderful. He was awake and alive.
"Guten Morgen liebchien!" Kurt said, setting the tray down next to the bed. "I haf brought you breakfast."
He bent and kissed Remy gently. Remy smiled, despite the pain in his face. Kurt was looking better. The haunted look he had 3 days ago had faded. He still moved a bit stiffly, but to Remy, he was glorious.
"What poison have you brought me?" Remy asked as Kurt began to arrange the tray for him.
"Ach, you wound me. I haf cooked for you myself! Nice soft, careful foods like the doctor ordered." Kurt said.
"Means bland ta me." Remy murmured. Then his stomach growled. "Ok, so maybe bland won' be so bad."
Scrambled eggs, toast and tea awaited Remy. He pouted.
"No hot sauce? No sausages?"
"Nien, just nice bland eggs and toast. I could get some oatmeal perhaps." Kurt said, smiling.
"Mon Dieu, non. Too much o' dat from Tainte Marie t'ank you." Remy said.
Kurt sat and watched his lover eat. When he got out of there today, Kurt would sweep him up to his room and hold him. Just hold him. The Professor had advised going back to the boathouse to stay, at least until they could get it more secured. Kurt shook his head at that. Security would not do much for Sinister, but whatever made them all feel better. He just wanted Remy out of medical and in his arms.
Kurt had thought allot in the 3 days he waited for Remy to recover. He had wondered over his feelings about the Cajun and him. He didn't want this to turn into a 'rebound' for either of them. He had examined himself from all angles. He had prayed. And everytime he looked at Remy, his heart lept, he felt lighter, and God had not struck him down for it. He hadn't thought God would, God was not needlessly cruel all the time.
Remy ate, basking in the warm feelings coming from his lover. He was constantly amazed to find Kurt by his side everyday. He still couldn't believe that Kurt didn't blame him for what had happened. But the warm smiles and loving looks erased Remy's fears. It seemed Kurt was going to stay and Remy wanted to revel in the feelings of safety and caring.
He smiled at Kurt and Kurt smiled back. They were still sitting that way, looking deeply into each others strange eyes, when Hank came in. Hank stopped and took in the scene. Young love, it seemed was running rampant in his tidy labs. He chuckled.
"Good morning my fine young patient!" He boomed, laughing as they both jumped.
"Breakfast, good. Now let's have a look at you." Hank said as he swept the tray away.
Remy sighed. *Jus' a bit more and you're outta here.* he thought.
"Now now, it's not that bad." Hank said. "You should get out in oh say, 5 minutes."
Kurt smiled. "Really? He is ok to go then?"
Hank nodded. "I want you back down for a checkup tomorrow, and nothing too exerting but yes, the Cajun is free to run from my labs once again."
Remy flung back the covers. "I am outta here den."
"Well, unless you want everyone to get a view of your posterior, I suggest you wait until we get you some clothes hmmm?" Hank said.
Remy sat back. "Ok ok, as much as my derriere may brighten de day, you right."
"I will fetch some things," Kurt said rising. "You will be staying in my room for now ja?"
Remy nodded and Kurt bamphed away. Hank coughed.
"I don't know if I will ever get used to that smell." he muttered.
Remy smiled. "I will."
~~~~~~
Remy looked around Kurt's room appreciatively. Captain Blood posters, swords and other signs of swashbuckling decorated it. Even the large bed seemed to scream 'pirate'. Remy nodded his approval and Kurt breathed a sigh of relief.
"Worried cher?" Remy asked.
"A bit perhaps. One is never sure how a lover will react to the way you live." Kurt said.
Remy smiled. Lover. What a satisfying word. "Well mon amour, it's neater than mine tha's fo' sure."
Kurt sat the duffel bag of Remy's stuff down and closed the door. The rest of the X-Men could wait. He wanted Remy alone for now. Alone and awake really for the first time in days. They hadn't had time together after the night in the boathouse and Kurt wanted it. He hoped Remy did too.
Remy flopped down on the bed. It was as comfortable as it looked. Thick pillows and comforters and lots of room. Remy had been living like a monk for too long. He missed his big bed in New Orleans. He sighed and pushed his back deeper in the softness.
Kurt smiled, watching Remy revel in the luxury of the bed. He looked content. He sat on the edge of the bed. Remy's unruly hair had fallen over his face and Kurt lightly brushed it back for his forehead. Remy's eyes opened and he smiled. Kurt smiled back as Remy kissed his hand.
"I know we can' do nothin' too energetic, but would you lay wit' me?" Remy asked.
"Of course liebchien." Kurt replied.
Kurt stripped down to his pants and slid under the covers as Remy stripped down to boxers. Kurt sat back up at the sight of Remy's pale body decorated with bruises. He had seen the neck and cheek, but not the ones along Remy's sides and inside of his legs. He frowned, remembering the images Sinister had shown him. He reached up and pulled Remy gently into bed. He lightly traced the bruise on Remy's cheek and kissed it.
"I will make him pay for this." Kurt said.
Remy shook his head but smiled. "So fierce ain't choo?"
"Ja, sometimes." Kurt smiled.
Remy laid his head down on Kurt's chest. The fur felt so warm and soft. He breathed in the musky scent of it. It was intoxicating. Kurt wrapped his arms around him and held him close. Remy listened to the heartbeat pulsing under his ear. It began to lull him to sleep. He sighed and let himself drift off.
Kurt listened as Remy's breathing grew deeper. He nuzzled his cheek against the soft auburn hair. The past few days were catching up to him and he let himself drift off to sleep as well.
~~~~~~
A knock on the door awoke Kurt. He looked at the clock. 4:30pm. He blinked not believing. They had slept the day away. The knock repeated itself.
"Ja...coming." Kurt mumbled as he slid out from under Remy. Remy stirred, mumbled and pulled the covers over his head.
Kurt ran his hand through his hair and opened the door. Kitty stood there, smiling.
"Good morning sleepy." she perked.
"Mmmf." Kurt managed, leaning against the doorframe.
Kitty giggled. "Nice. Anyways, I was wondering if you 2 were coming to dinner tonight. I'm cooking and wanna make sure I have enough."
Kurt inhaled deeply, trying to will awakedness on himself. "Ja...we will be there."
Kitty kissed his cheek. "How's he doing?" she asked.
Kurt smiled. "We shall see, but I think he is well."
"Good. See you at dinner." she said, moving off down the stairs.
Kurt shut the door and turned, wondering when he should wake Remy. Deciding to wait, he slid back under the covers and snuggled close. Remy rolled over and, to Kurt's surprise, planted a kiss on Kurt's lips.
"Gonna tell me when dinna is?" Remy asked, grinning.
"Nien. I am going to keep you up here, locked away, all for myself. I will feed you and let you out once a day." Kurt replied, biting Remy's nose.
"Only once a day eh? I suppose if I am good, you migh' lemme out more?"
Kurt laughed and hugged Remy close. They lay that way for a long time. Finally, when the smells of food drifted up, Kurt let go and stood.
"We had better get dressed before they eat it all." he said, pulling Remy up.
~~~~~~
Dinner was a happy, hectic affair. Everyone was glad to see Remy up again and sharing a meal in the house. Rogue smiled shyly at the two lovers and asked who was moving in with who. Piotr turned beat red at this and almost choked on his milk. Kitty laughed and told Piotr not to be such a fuddy-duddy. Remy was purely amazed. He hadn't expected such a warm reception.
"Don't look so shocked Gumbo," Logan grumped. "All the world loves a lover an' I guess you two'll do."
"Vell," said Piotr, setting his glass down. "I do not know how much I love this 'lovers' thing..."
"Piotr..." Kitty said.
"Let me finish Katya. But if you two are happy then you are happy. It is hard for any of us to find happiness. My congratulations to you." he said, nodding to Kurt and Remy.
Kitty smiled and hugged Piotr. "Vhat? You think I am going to condemn them? I just don't like the mushy talk." Piotr said.
Remy laughed. Kurt just smiled at his large friend.
Later, after helping to clear the table, Kurt found Remy staring out the back door. He put his arms around him and rested his head on Remy's shoulder. Remy kissed the side of Kurt's head and sighed.
"What is wrong liebchien?"
"I wan' my boathouse back." Remy said, furrowing his brow stubbornly.
Kurt hugged him. "You like it out there don't you?"
"Ouiai. I guess it wasn't so much an exile as I though'. I maybe social, bu' I like to come an' go wit'ou' everyone knowin' eh?" Remy sighed. "Would you consider movin' out dere wit' me?"
Kurt smiled and kissed Remy's neck. "A little cabin all to ourselves? Of course I would consider it. How about as soon as they say we can?"
Remy turned. He smiled down at Kurt and kissed his cheek. "Wasn' sure you'd wanna after..."
"Pffft. Sinister would haf come for you in here, ja? Being out there is as safe as here. Safer now, because I am enraged at him. I will not be so easy to get around again." Kurt said, sticking his chest out.
"Hn. Well I don' know 'bout dat cher, but I know he ain't gonna find it so easy to take dis Cajun again. I let him get away wit' what he do to me, bu' now he done gone and hurt you. You ain't used t' t'ings like I am. He gonna die if he mess wit' you again." Remy growled.
Kurt looked a Remy. His face was fierce, eyes on fire and jaw set. Kurt felt his stomach flutter. Remy was furious over what had happened to him. All the pain he had been through and he was *still* more concerned over what had happened to Kurt. Being protective, Kurt knew about, but being *protected* was new. It felt warm and good.
"I love you Remy LeBeau." Kurt said suddenly.
Remy started. Had he really just heard that? Did Kurt really say 'love'? He stared at Kurt, eyes wide. That handsome, blue face was staring back, smiling.
"I love you too, Kurt Wagner." Remy whispered.
"Better not let Piotr hear us. I would hate to damage his tolerance for 'mushy stuff'." Kurt laughed.
"T' hell wit' dat." Remy said and kissed his love.

 

Chapter Six
~~~ A Week Later ~~~
*At last!* Kurt was finding hard to contain himself. Finally, he and Remy were moving into the boathouse together. The security on it had been done almost a week ago, but then Kurt's team had been called away. They returned two days later to find that Remy's team had been called away as well. They had returned a day later, but Remy had been so exhausted that he slept for a day.
*But now, I move in with him!* Kurt did a little dance as he packed the last box . Piotr laughed at him from the doorway. Kurt turned and stuck his tongue out at his friend.
"I am glad to see you so happy again." Piotr said.
Kurt smiled, his dark face beaming. "Danke mein friend. It means much to me."
Kurt picked up the last box and, with a bow, bamphed away. Piotr shook his head and opened the window to let the sulfurous smoke out.
Remy spun as he heard Kurt bamph back. He tossed down the box he had finished emptying and crossed over to take the one out of Kurt's hands. Remy planted a quick kiss on him and looked into the box. Books. He moved over to the bookshelf while Kurt went to hang the clothes he has brought two bamphs ago up. They busied themselves in the domesticity of moving in together, pausing for the occasional kiss or grope.
Remy heard Kurt curse loudly in the bedroom. He hurried in to find Kurt sitting on the floor next to the bed. They had decided on Kurt's bed as it was nicer, and he had been putting it back together. Now he was holding his hand and grimacing.
Remy sat down next to him. "What happened cher?"
Kurt gestured at the bed. "I was putting the footboard on and the verdammit thing bit me!"
Remy pushed his lower lip out in a pout. "Aw, show maman which finger an' I'll kiss de pain away."
Kurt held out his right hand. "That one. It bit my palm."
Remy took Kurt's hand in his own and gently kissed the palm. He then pressed it to his cheek, smiling as the thick fingers caressed his face. "Dat bet'er?"
"Ja. Much. I shall live now I think." and he leaned over and kissed Remy deeply.
Remy pushed him away laughing. "We got t' get de bed t'gether or we be sleepin' on de floor."
Finally the bed was together, the boxes taken to the trash and the last of Kurt's considerable clothes were put away. Jean had brought them boxes of Chinese take-out and a bottle of wine as a 'moving present'. They had eaten the food on the couch and were now drinking the wine, curled up together.
Kurt snuggled deeper into the crook of Remy's arm and sighed with happiness. Remy kissed the tip of one pointy ear. Kurt shivered and Remy smiled wickedly. He nipped lightly at the tip and flicked his tongue into it. Kurt moaned softly.
"You keep that up liebchen and I will be forced to take action." Kurt said, turning his head to look up at Remy.
"Maybe we should move dis to de bedroom den non?" Remy murmured in Kurt's ear.
Kurt sat up and looked into Remy's eyes. "Are you sure? It is not too soon? I want you to be well."
Remy smiled. "I went on a mission already an' Henri told me yest'day dat I am fine."
Kurt nodded his head. He had been worried when he had found that Remy had gone on that mission. The others had assured him that Remy had been very careful and his sleeping was due to staying awake for 24 hours and not too much action. And if Hank had given him the o.k....Kurt frowned again. Remy's body was recovered, but what about his mind? They had not made love since Sinister and he knew that they both had nightmares from the experience.
Remy searched Kurt's yellow eyes. With out pupils, they were hard to read sometimes, but Remy knew what was going through Kurt's mind. Sinister. He took Kurt's head in both his hand and looked deep into his eyes.
"I promise dat if you do anyt'ing to me dat upsets me, I will tell you to stop. An' you will do de same fo' me." he stated.
Kurt looked into Remy's red/black eyes and almost lost himself in their depths. Remy's determination to go on with their lives radiated out of them. Kurt couldn't believe the hidden reserves of strength Remy had. He smiled.
"I promise you as well." He said and stood, taking Remy's hand.
Remy shut the bedroom door and looked around. Kurt had moved in only hours ago and it felt and looked like he had lived there all along. He took Kurt in his arms and kissed him lightly. Kurt smiled against his lips and began to pull Remy's clothes off. Remy worked on Kurt's and soon they were standing there naked.
Remy looked Kurt over. His body was small and compact, but hard lines of muscles rippled under the soft, navy fur. Remy ran his hands up Kurt's chest, loving the velvety feel under his hands. He rolled the hard nubs he found between his fingers, making Kurt moan.
Kurt pulled him close and stroked his hands down Remy's spine. Remy pressed to him and kissed him, parting Kurt's lips with his own, sliding his tongue in and around Kurt's. He sucked Kurt's lower lip into his mouth and bit it softly. Kurt clutched him tighter and pulled him onto the bed.
Remy settled down on Kurt and kissed his face, trailing his tongue along Kurt's jaw and down his neck. He loved the fact that ,even with the fur, Kurt was so sensitive. He bit Kurt's neck at the shoulder and smiled as Kurt gasped. He slid lower and nibbled at one of Kurt's nipples, twirling the other between his fingers. Kurt squirmed and wrapped his legs around Remy's.
Remy felt Kurt's erection throb against his stomach and slid lower. He nuzzled the coarse black hair around Kurt's cock and slid even lower. He sucked gently on the velvet balls and was rewarded with Kurt spreading his legs wider, allowing him better access. He sucked and nibbled and probed behind the balls with his tongue. He breathed in the deep musky smell of his lover and felt his own cock twitch. He slid his arms under Kurt's legs and slicked his tongue deeper down. Kurt gasped as his tongue found the tight opening he'd been searching for.
Kurt made small noises in his throat as Remy's tongue slid into him. Shocks ran through him as Remy thrust it in and out. His hands ran through Remy's hair and he panted harder and harder. He wanted, needed Remy in him. He tried to pull Remy up with his hands, but Remy just raised his head.
"What do you want?" Remy purred. "Tell me what you want me to do."
Kurt looked into those dark eyes, so full of passion. "I want you to take me." He whispered. "Please. Now."
Remy slid back up over Kurt. He reached over to the nightstand and took a small tube out of the drawer. He opened it and slicked lube over his cock. He then slid one lubricated finger into Kurt. Kurt gasped and clenched around the finger. It was less giving that Remy's tongue.
"Gonna take dis slow. You never done dis befo' eh?" Remy whispered in his lover's ear.
He pushed another finger in and slid them slowly in and out. Kurt began to rock his hips after a moment and Remy smiled. He was ready. Remy placed his cock against Kurt and carefully pushed in. Kurt pushed his head back into the pillows and bit his lip. Remy slid slowly into his lover and stopped, letting Kurt adjust to the feeling.
Kurt couldn't believe Remy was all in him. It hurt for only a moment, the pain replaced by a warm fullness. He clenched around Remy's shaft and Remy moaned. With torturing slowness, Remy pulled partway out and slid back in. Kurt couldn't stand it. He wanted more.
"Please Remy. Oh mein gott please! Take me, fuck me!" Kurt said, clutching Remy's shoulders.
"Look at me cher." Remy said, his voice commanding.
Kurt opened his eyes and was caught in Remy's stare. Those red and black eyes pierced his soul. He couldn't look away any more than a small animal could look away from a cobra's eyes. He felt warmth build in his stomach and spread through his entire body.
Remy began to move again, still slowly, in and out. Kurt's whole body quivered under him, but he never took his eyes off Remy's. Remy moved one of his hands and grasped Kurt's erection and stroked it in time with his thrusts.
Kurt's mind reeled. He was aware of nothing but Remy's eyes and the feelings running through his body. Wave after wave of pleasure flowed over him with each push, each stroke.
"Kurt. Cum for me." Remy husked as he stroked Kurt faster, thrust faster.
Kurt was saying Remy's name over and over, still unable to look away.
"Remy... Remy...oh.."
"Yes?"
"I love you Remy!" he cried as he came at last, falling into those eyes.
Remy thrust into Kurt's pulsing body and opened his mind. Kurt's orgasm ripped through him and he pushed in deep and held there as he came, hot and hard. He sent his feelings back to Kurt, sent them deep into those yellow eyes locked on him.
They stayed that way, suddering and shaking as each orgasm rebounded off the other. At last , Remy's arm gave out and he collapsed onto Kurt. Remy moved onto his side and they lay there, panting and gasping, stroking each others faces and bodies.
"What happened?" Kurt whispered.
Remy shook his head. "De charm, tantra, I don' quite know. Bot' I t'ink."
Remy sat up on one elbow and looked down at Kurt. Kurt's eyes were still wide, his face flushed a faint purple. He touched the blush and smiled. Kurt caught his hand and kissed the palm.
"You are my gift from God." he whispered.
Remy stared. He felt tears filling his eyes. Kurt sat up and kissed them as the fell down Remy's cheeks. He stroked the sweaty dark auburn locks and smiled.
Remy couldn't believe what he had heard. He knew Kurt loved him, but this was more. He threw his arms around Kurt and hugged him tight to his chest.
"Je t'aime mon amour. You complete me." he whispered, kissing Kurt's head. "I was lost without you an' I didn' even know it. Please stay wit' me forever."
"I will. You found me and I am yours forever." Kurt sighed and slid his arms around Remy.
Holding each other tight, they fell asleep.

 

END