titel [entstehungszeit]
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[1/22] Again (You Never Know) [mai 04]
i was unable to do something
to react to your nasty laugh
you told me with a dirty smile
you fucked my greatest enemy
that was your revenge
against my lonelyness
you never know how it is
to get lost in you
you never feel how it is
to be despised of you
because i'm here
and not there with you
you're alone, i'm too
don't forget my love in heaven
to send the devil back to me
i told and begged but time is running
don't stop, never come back
and don't touch me again
only to be not alone
you never know how it is
to get lost in you
you never feel how it is
to be despised of you
because i'm here
and not there with you
you're alone, i'm too
don't care 'bout my feeling
kiss her again, if you think
it's alright to deceive me
again and again and again
you never know how it is
to get lost in you
you never feel how it is
to be despised of you
because i'm here
and not there with you
you're alone, i'm too
now kill me again [and again]
hurt me again [and again]
kiss her again
[2/22] All I Never Need [25.05.04]
my empty wrap is sitting here
it's cold but i only feel the ice inside
it's rainy but i only feel my lifeless tears
you took everything from me
gave me pain without hurting me
all this pain without wounds
all these kisses without love
all these goodbyes without end
everything i never need
if this is all that i can feel
if this is all that i can give
if all never be the same again
it's all you can see
it's all you want to see
it's all i never need
my farewell is not shame's end
it's a new kind to say hello to you
it's an old way to set my thoughts free
you took everything from me
gave me love without loving me
all this pain without wounds
all these kisses without love
all these goodbyes without end
everything i never need
if this is all that i can feel
if this is all that i can give
if all never be the same again
it's all you can see
it's all you want to see
it's all i never need
[3/22] Creepy Kind [wi/fj 04]
it's an endless fight
the pitch is on my side
and my greatest dreams
nothing is like is seems
i will never be born
i'm a devil with horn
my wish to die is too great
to die not to live
it's the easiest solution
to end all my pain
to end all my shame
none would miss me
because i'm such a creepy kind
i can't turn back the clock
i can't cancel my knock
i can't say, i'm sorry
sometimes i'm so worry
i know, you can't forget
but my decision is set
my wish to die is too great
to die not to live
it's the easiest solution
to end all my pain
to end all my shame
none would miss me
because i'm such a creepy kind
turn away from my friends
wait that my life will ends
it's a new beginning
and i start dying
my love will never die
this pitiful lie
[4/22] Fallen Angels [fj 04]
when you hate me
i'll say, i love you
i'll say, i fell you
when you love me
shut up, i'll hate you
i'll do, i'll kill you
i'm born without a soul
i live in a numb body
the gun is my mother
the death's my father
devils watched my rising
all angels are fallen
when you hate me
i'll say, i love you
i'll say, i fell you
when you love me
shut up, i'll hate you
i'll do, i'll kill you
while the apocalypse
my unimportant life
has an unreal summit
this life - my destiny
the evil is inside me
all angels are fallen
when you hate me
i'll say, i love you
i'll say, i fell you
when you love me
shut up, i'll hate you
i'll do, i'll kill you
never again, please safe
tha flowers os evil
grown inside the hell
only bring disaster
the death is in full bloom
i'm a fallen angel
[5/22] Far Distance [wi/fj 04]
last night i cried
everything was worse
i thought about my friends
the one i have and
the one i want back
but sometimes,
the distances are too far
what has happend?
i ask myself
have i changed?
have they changed?
i don't know what
the problem is
so, i think about
last night i dreamed
my life turned upside down
i left all i have
searched another world
now i want go back
i see that,
the distances are too far
what has happend?
i ask myself
have i changed?
have they changed?
i don't know what
the problem is
so, i think about
last night i awoke
this nightmare should ends
i felt so badly
to repeat the years
would be important
for me, but
the distances are too far
[6/22] Forever [fj 04]
i stopped thinking
i stopped feeling
i begin to dream
to ask what it mean
i stopped dreaming
i stopped asking
i begin to lie
never say why
now i know what you meant
when you say goodbye
i thought you would come back
but it was a beautiful lie
it was a stupid mistake
to believe in my childish thought
i close my eyes
and everything will stop
i stopped hoping
i stopped crying
i wish i had never
want to love you forever
i stopped believing
i stopped breathing
wish i had told the true
the leasti could do
now i know what you meant
when you say goodbye
i thought you would come back
but it was a beautiful lie
it was a stupid mistake
to believe in my childish thought
i close my eyes
and everything will stop
[7/22] Heartless [fj 04]
there's no reason to laugh
there's no reason to cry
i feel insensible
and i'm heartless
the blood isn't
running in my veins
they say,
the time wouldn't come back
and i should enjoy
they say,
there would be happiness
i shouldn't ask
they say,
that everything is fine
i know, they lie
the time is standing still
but everything's working
i'm so empty
i know, i'm guilty
everything is
my fault, all know it
they say,
the time wouldn't come back
and i should enjoy
they say,
there would be happiness
i shouldn't ask
they say,
that everything is fine
i know, they lie
i'm so scared of living
i would feel safer in death
i feel horrible
i become numb
the clouds are
hiding the lucky days
[8/22] Her Way [wi 03/04]
her way,
to be different,
her way,
to be so nasty,
it's her way of living,
to live not to die
does she live without a soul?
running down on others
is her way to feel good,
when she's the best
everything is okay,
it's difficult
to be her friend,
it's easy
to be her enemy
her way,
to be different,
her way,
to be so nasty,
it's her way of living,
to live not to die
does she live without a soul?
taking advantage of boys
is her way of loving,
if she can decide
everything is okay,
it's difficult
to love her
it's easy
to hate her
her way,
to be different,
her way,
to be so nasty,
it's her way of living,
to live not to die
does she live without a soul?
spit her in the face!
beat her to the ground!
that's her way
she's hurt like her victims
[9/22] Hidden Secret [fj 04]
sitting here next to you
is so agonizing to do
maybe, it's something you haven't expect
but, please don't forget to accept
but what should i do?
i'm here with you
you don't see the tears run down my face
in my eyes is a secret glance
in my head is a damned chaos
you don't see the blood run down my heart
in my soul is an open wound
in my heart is a hidden secret
lying here without you
is so cruel to do
maybe, my soul is dying
i should start crying
but what should i do?
i'm without you
you don't see the tears run down my face
in my eyes is a secret glance
in my head is a damned chaos
you don't see the blood run down my heart
in my soul is an open wound
in my heart is a hidden secret
walking here without you
is so normal to do
maybe, my wound will never close
but that's the way i chose
and what would i do?
the world is without you
[10/22] Hurt Me [april/mai 04]
hurt me
and don't take away my pain
break me
and don't tell me that you feel the same
leave me
or say that i have to go
now, hurt me now
i love to kill myself
in wasted tears i find the nowhere i belong to
i love to hurt myself
in lonely fears i'm the one who breaks off with you
hurt me
and don't take away my pain
break me
and don't tell me that you feel the same
leave me
or say that i have to go
now, hurt me now
when i lay by your side
i fight against my own coldness
now i walk alone through the night
i just drown in tears of sadness
hurt me
and don't take away my pain
break me
and don't tell me that you feel the same
leave me
or say that i have to go
now, hurt me now
hurt me
[make me scream]
break me
[let me dream]
leave me
[i want to go]
hurt me now
[11/22] Let Me Love You [27.05.04]
painting hearts an the border of my writing pad
can't concentrate on the things i'd have to
writing your name on the paper of my frenchtest
i should answer these questions but i can't
you make me dream of your beautiful eyes
you make me smile only 'cause you're here
you make me dream of your beautiful eyes
sweet honey, i need to hear
you're in my dreams at night
i wish to have you by my side
i can't even longer oppress my feelings for you
please let me love you
sitting beside my friends, don't know what they're talking 'bout
am irritate when they laugh, but smile
sleeping unrestivly 'cause you're in my sweetest dreams
wake up in the morning with a smile
you make me dream of your beautiful eyes
you make me smile only 'cause you're here
you make me dream of your beautiful eyes
sweet honey, i need to hear
you're in my dreams at night
i wish to have you by my side
i can't even longer oppress my feelings for you
please let me love you
[12/22] Little Girl [25.05.04]
why don't you see
this little girl
she's begging to you
she loves you
don't be one of these runaways
she dreams almost every night
of love but the reality is not the same
she feels love in her heart
but it's still a small light
she speaks to god to hope
to end all her shame
why don't you see
this little girl
she's begging to you
she loves you
don't be one of these runaways
she cries almost every night
of pain 'cause the reality is hard to her
she feels cold in her soul
it's short before the souldeath
she speaks to god to hope
to end all her blame
why don't you see
this little girl
she's begging to you
she loves you
don't be one of these runaways
she wants to be free
she wants to be loved
but now it's too late
she cried, her soul died
the small light is extincted
why don't you see
this little girl
she's begging to you
she loves you
why don't you see
this little girl in me
[13/22] Love's Ending [hb/wi 03]
you say i'm not like yesterday
and i'll be tomorrow not the same as today
you'll always find a fault
but it doesn't make any difference
i do everything to impress you
i say everything that you believe me
but it doesn't make any sence
i don't wanna hear the screams in my head
stop the pain
believe myself
finnish the game
bury the lies
bury the thoughts
a better time comes
you say, i would come home too late
and i would drink too much
you say, i would get dressed too unusual
and the others say that too
but i know they don't
my friends would never sentence me
and if i oppose
you make me pliable
you make me believe your opinions
you make me believe your words
but i don't want
stop the pain
believe myself
finnish the game
bury the lies
bury the thoughts
a better time comes
and if i rebel
you make me suppress myself
at least you try
you can't forbid my thoughts,
you can't forbid them
and if i rebel
i rebel in my mind
but you don't know that
if you could hear how i call you
you would kill me
because i rage, cry, hate you,
put you down, run down you in my mind
but you don't notice that i
stop the pain
believe myself
finnish the game
bury the lies
bury the thoughts
have end this love
and wait that a better time comes
[14/22] Love Of My Life [21./22.05.04]
everytime when i look at you
you seem so far away
everytime when i'm missing you
you seem so far away
don't you feel that i adore you
don't you feel that i need you
my unknown love is killing me
my unknown love is healing me
please safe me, please kill me
please safe me, please love me
love, nothing more
love, nothing less
the love of my life is you
the love of my life
nothing more
nothing less
the pain of my love
nothing more
nothing less
all love and pain
is you, my love
everytime when you look at me
you poison my mind
everytime when you look through me
you poison my mind
i know, you don't need me
i know, you don't love me
my damned pain is killing me
my damned pain is healing me
please safe me, please love me
please safe me, please kill me
pain, nothing more
pain, nothing less
the pain of my life is love
why don't you love me
love me like i do
why don't you feel me
feel my like i do
why don't you heal me
heal me like love do
why don't you kill me
kill me like love do
[15/22] Make Me Bad [mai 04]
looking at you
do you see my eyes?
begging to you
do hear my voice?
smiling at you
do you see my pain?
kissing you
do you hear my scream?
sweet dreams of lovely pain
everything seems so far away
sweet dreams of lovely pain
and i know you won't be mine
you make me forget
you turn my head
you strike me down
you make me bad
feeling you
i feel so ashamed
holing you
i feel no blame
loving you
i'm drifting away
fucking you
my will is vanished
sweet dreams of lovely pain
everything seems so far away
sweet dreams of lovely pain
and i know you won't be mine
you make me forget
you turn my head
you strike me down
you make me bad
[16/22] Nothing [hb 03 / 23.05.04]
i don't think that you could love me
i don't think that you could know me
i'm to small that you would see me
i'm to quiet that you would hear me
'cause you are popular
and i'm a nothing
you've got affairs and girlfriends
i dream about a you and me
how it will never happens
maybe i'm stupid
and maybe i'm crazy
but a you and me, maybe
i don't want that you cry about me
i don't want that you die for me
i don't know why i feel this way
i don't know what i should say
'cause you are popular
and i'm a nothing
you've got affairs and girlfriends
i dream about a you and me
how it will never happens
maybe i'm stupid
and maybe i'm crazy
but a you and me, maybe
i'll be yours forever
i'll be yours come what may
i'll love you
i would come around if you ask me
i would comfort you when you need someone
[17/22] Prison [wi 03/04]
everyday you call me
to make sure
that i'm at home,
that i'm alone.
everyday you pursue my ways
to make sure
that none stands
too close to me
everytime you reproach me
i would have no time for you
everytime you reproach me
i would be too selfish
everyday you shout at me
you teach me,
you're the only
one in my life
everyday i answer
hypnotized,
it will never
happens again
everytime you reproach me
i would have no time for you
everytime you reproach me
i would be too selfish
you say,
i would only think of me
and you say,
i wouldn't take care of you
[18/22] Systematical Mobbing [fj 04]
it's nothing special
it's just the way you look at me
it's just your laugh, what makes me bad?
it's just a word, what makes me sad?
i'm not very striking
don't be surprised when i fight back
none can hold me back, you'll see
because i just want to be me
i'm the avoided person
i'm the numb one
you, seeming victoring heros
your own defeat
you can do everything
but stop that
systematical mobbing
am i so different?
it's just the way i want to live
it'e just my fault to say a word
it's just my life, fly like a bird
why are you so nasty?
but don't you see, you'll kill yourselves?
none knows how i, what i feel
i hope the wounds you made won't heal
i'm the avoided person
i'm the numb one
you, seeming victoring heros
your own defeat
you can do everything
but stop that
systematical mobbing
[19/22] Tears [wi 03/04]
begging glances, none sees
helpless signs, none knows
days without laugh
nights without sleep
it isn't easy to be normal
don't open my heart
tears, go away
tears, let me stay
tears, please stop them
and leave me alone
heart of stone, destroyed by
a shadow sword, hopeless fight
i'm lost, broken
and full of pain
own sorrow, don't understand me
don't open my heart
tears, go away
tears, let me stay
tears, please stop them
and leave me alone
everything is falling down on me
someday i will go down
and everything will stop
tears, go away
tears, let me stay
tears, please stop them
and leave me alone
so close my heart
[20/22] This Melody [27.05.04]
hey boy, look up to the dark sky
do you see this little star?
it shines only for you
i've set it there to say you
how much you mean to me
hey boy, listen to the music
do you hear this melody?
i've written it for you
it's just a hello,
just a small massage from me
now listen what i want to say
i love you
please keep my words alive
listen to me and believe
answer me how you feel
when you hear this melody
yes, it's for you
hey boy, don't open your eyes now
do you feel my touch?
i'm only here to make you happy
now breathe out and enjoy
hey boy, give me your hand and love
do you taste my sweet kisses?
i hope you don't push me away
when i say, i love you
now listen what i want to say
i love you
please keep my words alive
listen to me and believe
answer me how you feel
when you hear this melody
yes, it's for you
[21/22] [Un-]Decided [sm/hb 03]
can't lie to you
can't say the true
tell me, what should i do?
feel like i would shot with a weapon
can't sleep, must think about
i must say to you
no idea how
i must say to you
don't want to hurt you
see no tears, but
write letters
don't send them up
call you
but hang up the phone
pass your home
don't ring the bell
am in a jam, could we be friends?
i must say to you
no idea how
i must say to you
don't want to hurt you
see no tears, but
one day i will meet you
one day i will see you
and then i say it
definitely
[22/22] Worsen Situation [wi 03/04]
welcome to my world
i let you see the thing from my side
it's no happiness after all
it's just a worsen situation
there's no time for laughing
let me be myself
please
safe me
help me
before i fall to the ground
please
hold me
take me
before the darkness gets me
welcome to my mind
say, you're not one of these ignorant
i'm not that funny girl, you're knowing
i'm taking things to seriously
maybe, but don't be so slimy
let me be myself
please
safe me
help me
before i fall to the ground
please
hold me
take me
before the darkness gets me