- Autor:
Glamac
E-Mail Adresse: glamacsg@freenet.de
Titel: The Spark
Altersfreigabe: Keine Beschränkung, jeder der Lesen kann
Teil: 1 und einziger Teil
Spoiler: Season 7
Inhalt: Buffy und Spike unterhalten sich über ihre Seelen
Hauptcharakter(e)/Paar(e): Buffy/Spike
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor
do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".
They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar
Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB
Television Network.
Kommentar: Viel Spaß und Feedback erwünscht
-
- The Spark
-
-
- She did not know what was worse, the days or the nights. She started to
love these times in between. Like now. It would not take long and the sun
will rise. This was an interin, in which everything got slower and everyone
got the chance to rest. To work through the past things and prepare for the
things that may come. She went outside and saw him, lost in his thoughts,
sitting on the stairs. Without saying a word, she sat beside him.
-
- „The sun will rise soon,“ she said after a while of sitting together
in silence.
-
- „I know. And it still wont do it for me,” he
said under his breath.
-
- „How do you mean that? Do you miss daylight more, now that you have a
soul?”
-
- His answer was a short painful laugh. “I don’t think that my soul has
influence in the things I miss or the things I could easily renounce.”
-
- „Everything
all right, Spike?“ she asked nervously.
-
- „Yeah, yeah, everything all right, luv. I´m just sick of being reduced
on the bloody soul with all my thoughts and all my actions. Everything
repeats. First the explanation for everything was my missing soul, now it is
the fact that I have one. And at the same time, I can´t help but think,
that the soul doesn´t make a real difference in who I am.”
-
- „How can you say that, of course it makes a big difference,” she said
while looking at him with big eyes. “The soul made you change. Can´t you
see it!”
-
- He turned around and looked straight in her eyes, for the first time
since she sat beside him. “I do see changes. Different kinds of changes. A
part of it is my regret for the things I´ve done. This is the part which I
ascribe to the soul. But for the other parts, I´m not so sure about it. I
think most parts of them had something to do with you and me, pet.”
Afterwards his gaze went back to the darkness.
-
- „Could you explain this for me?“ she asked him softly, still staring
in his face.
-
- „I don´t know. Your going through a hard time at the moment. And it is
nothing you would like to hear and maybe now it is not the right time
to confront you with all of this.”
-
- He
could feel how her muscles tensed and how she had to force herself to stay
calm. How easy, he thought with a smile on his lips, such little things
could bring her up.
-
- „Maybe I really do not have insight in your changes and I do not see
everything always as clear as you do, but I do know one thing for sure, and
that is, that for me there will never be the right time for anything,
because every moment could be my last, more than other people. Therefore,
what are you talking about,” it came out of her, still a little bit
annoyed.
-
- With a sigh he started: „Now that I have a soul, I have thought a lot
about, if I´m now, what you deserve. What do you deserve? Who am I and who
have I been? Who have you been and who are you now?” He pulled the
cigarettes out of his pocket.
-
- There was a pause; she heard the sound of his lighter and then smelled
cigarette smoke on the breeze.
-
- Suddenly it came to her, how she never lost one thought in this
direction, although it is always her, who talks about the changes. His
British accent brought her back to the present.
-
- „When I think about our lives today, I can see clearly parallels in
them. We both died and still we live. The soul is in us, since the day of
our birth until the day we die. Isn´t that the most spread thought about
it?” He turned his head in her direction to see the small nod of her head
in the darkness.
-
- „When I lost my soul the day I died, what happened to your soul when
you died? We both died, luv, and we are still sitting here together like
birds on a wire. When I remember you last year and your problems with your
life last year, it is a sign, that you also lost something the day you
died.”
-
- „But
you know, you know that I had the feeling, that I lost something. But
I could have not been my soul” she answered with an unintelligible and
questioning glance.
-
- „How can you know that. Maybe we all get a soul on our birthday, that
looks like a white sheet and we fill it up through our lives. Through our
“rebirth” we got blanc pages again. But this time, we had, in contrast
to the babies, our fully developed mind, thought, memories and hearts.”
-
- She looked at him in shock. “White screen, we have to paint first,
after we banished all bright colours out of our painting equipment?”
-
- „Maybe,“ he answered with a small grin on his face and a raised
eyebrow. With this statement, she got the point better, then he had thought
she would. He took an other pull from his cigarette and continued to glance
in the darkness of her garden.
-
- „Or to go a little bit further: The Egyptians had known seven souls,
maybe they hadn´t been so wrong with this theory. And we both didn´t
get all of them back at our “rebirth”. Or we even didn´t lose
all of them when we died. They have been there all the time, but we couldn´t
reach all of them.”
-
- „Seven souls?“, she was getting more and more confused.
-
- He turned his head again a little bit to watch her questioning face out
of the corner of his eyes.
-
- „The most important soul in Egypt was AB, the heart-soul. I think, the
soul responsible for my heart, never left me, was there the whole time. That
is something, I can´t and wont tell about the soul responsible for my
conscience and my understanding. I always thought I live because my heart
was able to love, the music, the world, you. Today I know, that you also
need a soul, to understand what you love. I have to admit now, that I, as
hard as my heart tried to help you last year, I never understood what you
needed, what you searched for. You lived without a heart that loved
unselfish and sacrificing. That was appearantly the soul you lost. But you
understood in return, what couldn´t without my soul. Today I know, that we
both didn´t live back then.”
-
-
-
- „What happened then in Africa? Did you get the missing souls there?”
-
- „I don´t know, but I don´t really think so. They´ve been in me
before. I think about it, like they where in me but I couldn´t feel them
all. Africa has only been the last test. To see if I´m strong enough for
the torment of realisation. After that the veil just fall of the hidden
souls. You have had a similar experience here, I think. You earned yourself
though the last year the insight of all of your souls. Can you follow me, do
you understand what I mean?” he asked her while moving now completely to
face her.
-
- She
could read in his eyes that he truly hoped to see in hers appreciation and
how much it would mean to him.
-
- „Maybe I understand better than you thought,“ she answered softly.
“But I think, that our last test is still in front of us. Or better, we´re
fully in it. We have to survive this fight.”
-
- Yes, the fighter, he comes always back to surface in her, he thought and
in his eyes the respect for her came shining through.
-
- „What will lead us to the next critical point. I don´t know if our new
found wholeness wont be in the way when it comes to this fight. The new
conscience made me week and vulnerable and with you and your heart it is not
very different.
-
- „Maybe we have to see them as our strength and now we have the
possibility for it,” was her determined answer.
-
- He
turned his head a little bit to the side and smiled at her. “Yeah,
maybe.” Afterwards he glanced in the darkness again and continued: „I
just hope, when everything is over, that all the things, that have been,
will come back. And, after the survived grave, with our fresh hearts and
souls in our young bodies, we can use them so, that we can work through
everything and scoop the little bit of luck out of it, that we deserve.”
-
- She moved on the step a little bit closer to him, laid her hand in his
and squeezed it soft. She leaned her head on his shoulder and they sat there
for a while together in silence.
-
- After a few minutes he stood up and pulled her up with him.
-
- „I should go inside now. The sun will rise any moment now. Are you not
tired? you should rest a little bit.”
-
- „Yeah, I´ll go. I just wanted to enjoy the time before the sunrise.
This has become my favourite time of the day.”
-
- „I know what you mean. It is mine to. This is our time, because it is
like us. Neither day nor night.”
-
-
- END
-
-