starring PAUL MERTON, TONY HAWKS, SUE PERKINS and NEIL MULLARKEY, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 29 January 2007)
NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!
THEME MUSIC
NP: Thank you, thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure to welcome our many listeners, not only in this country but throughout the world. But also to welcome to the programme, four exciting, talented, extravagant players of the game. And seated on my right, we have that outstanding comedian, Paul Merton. And seated beside him, a comedy performer and writer, Neil Mullarkey. And seated on my left, representing the distaff side, that lovely entertaining comedian, presenter, Sue Perkins. And beside her another comedy performer and also a comedy writer, that is Tony Hawks. Will you please welcome all four of them! Beside me sits Charlotte Davies, who is going to help me with the score, and blow a whistle when the 60 seconds are up. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the beautiful ancient Theatre Royal in that lovely seaside resort of Brighton.
CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE
NP: And as you can hear we have got a vociferous Sussex audience just waiting for us to start. So we begin the show with Paul Merton. Paul, here's an odd one to start with, all things bright and beautiful. Oh yes you've got it haven't you! Sixty seconds as usual and you start now.
PAUL MERTON: All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small. That hymn was used by James Herriot to write a couple of his books about being a vet in the Yorkshire Dales. Is Brighton a beautiful place? Well of course it is. You only have to walk down the sea front, look up at the architecture, a lot of it is Regency. Breathe in the air that comes from the briny surface, as it rolls in waves against the shore. Walk along the pier perhaps dressed as a woman. It's Friday night, you're...
BUZZ
PM: Who challenged?
NP: Your friend Neil Mullarkey has challenged.
NEIL MULLARKEY: Well I'm sorry, we're talking about things bright and beautiful. And you dressed as a woman is not bright. Or beautiful!
PM: I bet it's...
SUE PERKINS: I beg to differ!
NP: I think though seeing Paul walk along the beach, you know, dressed as a woman would be something really quite beautiful!
PM: You've picked me up there!
NP: And the shock you'd have when you discovered the truth! Anyway Neil, I don't think he was deviating sufficiently from the subject, he...
SP: He was deviating somewhat, but...
NP: He was deviating, no, he was deviating, but it wasn't.... I mean, done in Brighton, it's not devious to do that, is it! No I think you have the benefit of the doubt Paul, and you keep the subject and there are 32 seconds available, all things bright and beautiful starting now.
PM: Max Miller's costume was bright and beautiful. I'm so pleased there's been a statue put up to him at the other theatre that is down the road from here, the Brighton Dome. He was a fantastic comedian, Nicholas no doubt remembers him well. He would come walking on to the stage and he would say...
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
SP: He said walking. He was walking along by the sea.
PM: Yes.
NP: That's right.
PM: Yes.
NP: You were walking along beside the sea and you were breathing in the air, and now you're walking down there. So Sue Perkins listened well and she's got in and she gets a point for a correct challenge of course, takes over all things bright and beautiful, and you have 20 seconds starting now.
SP: While walking beside the sea, I came across a rather strange she-creature, which I approached and noticed it was Paul Merton wearing clogs and a tight aline skirt, which for my money, neither suited the beautiful curvature of his leg which resembled something approaching a upturned bottle of fine champagne. I said "away with you sir, you can't possibly get trade tonight!" But for sure, there was a huge queue of people...
WHISTLE
NP: In this game whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. On this occasion it was Sue Perkins and at the end of that round she has a lead over Paul Merton and Neil and Tony who is yet to speak actually. That's the situation as Neil takes the next round, the fountain of youth. Looking at you, I can see why it's been chosen for you. And there are 60 seconds as usual starting now.
NM: Were the fountain of youth to exist, would it be wise to visit this place. Youth is overrated surely. With age comes experience, nosh-talgia...
BUZZ
NM: I'm 67, you know!
NP: I'm older than that but I don't say nosh-talgia!
NM: Well that's the point.
NP: I say nostalgia, I don't say what you said.
NM: Nosh-talgia is what you get when you're old.
PM: But don't you remember when nostalgia was pronounced nosh-talgia?
SP: Isn't nosh-talgia when you look back wistfully about food?
NP: So your, you're just...
PM: No, it's deviation from language as...
NP: As we understand it, quite yes, we accept that Paul so you have the subject, the fountain of youth, and 47 seconds starting now.
PM: Nicholas washes his underpants in the fountain of youth, that's why they look absolutely pristine and wonderful as if he had bought them yesterday. In fact they're Army issue, they're demob pants, he's been wearing them...
BUZZ
NP: Tony challenged.
TONY HAWKS: Ah repetition of pants.
NP: There were too many pants.
PM: I thought I had underpants first time. I had underpants, then pants.
NP: You did.
PM: Yeah.
TH: Yes.
NP: How right you are.
PM: Yeah.
NP: How clever you are.
PM: It's like I'd played the game before, isn't it!
NP: So and thank goodness I listened as well.
PM: Yes, thank goodness you're here. Best chairman we've got, best chairman we've got!
NP: You couldn't get half your laughs if I wasn't here, could you.
PM: I'd buy a budgie!
NP: Thirty-seven seconds are still available, incorrect challenge Paul, a point to you and you keep the subject, the fountain of youth starting now.
PM: He is an extraordinary figure, our esteemed chairman. When you see him walking down the promenade with a glint in his eye, and ladies of a certain age, those born about 1697, give him a look as if to say if I was to perhaps, to fall in love...
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
SP: I withdraw, I think there was about to be a hesitation, but there wasn't.
NP: No he was teetering on it but didn't quite get there.
SP: No but a teeter isn't one.
NP: No.
SP: So I apologise...
NP: So Sue...
SP: Good-bye!
NP: Paul you still have the subject.
PM: Yes.
NP: Another point and 23 seconds on the fountain of youth starting now.
PM: One way to stay young is to enjoy what you do. That's a recipe for success but it's not always easy for us to be employed in the job that we particularly like. I worked for the civil service for three years from 1977 through to round about...
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
SP: Ah hesitation.
NP: Yes there was, because he realised his mistake then. Sue you have 10 seconds available and a point of course, the fountain of youth is with you starting now.
SP: The fountain of youth is in Saltdean and therefore the residents have decided to keep an ultimate secret. No tourists must venture there and partake of the healthy waters which bestow on those who drink...
WHISTLE
NP: So Sue Perkins was speaking then as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so, and she's taken the lead, one ahead of Paul Merton and three ahead of Neil Mullarkey and Tony Hawks. Tony we'd like you to take the next round, the subject is there's nothing like a dame. And of course it is, while we record this, the pantomime season. So it's very apt. Can you tell us something about the subject in this game starting now.
TH: There is nothing like a dame. It was a song taken from South Pacific, written by Hodgers and... Rodgers...
BUZZ
SP: Hodgers and Rodgers!
TH: What's in this water?
SP: Stop him taking absinthe!
NP: I do remember Hodgers and Rammerstein! They were... Deviation from...
PM: Rodgers and Hammerstein, was it?
NP: It was Rodgers and Hammerstein, yes.
NM: It was Hodgers and Rodgers.
PM: Hodgers and Rodgers.
TH: He was known as Hodgers to his mates. Hodgers Hammerstein, they called him.
NP: No you can't get out of it that way.
TH: No I can't, can I.
NP: Paul you have the subject, you have a point, you have 54 seconds, there is nothing like a dame starting now.
PM: It's one of those songs that you expect to hear in musical theatre. Gyles Brandreth, who sometimes does this show, was in a... show...
BUZZ
NP: Tony you got back in again.
TH: Yes repetition of show.
NP: Yes indeed there was, so you've got nothing like a dame back with you, 48 seconds starting now.
TH: And Hammerstein of course. And what we all know about this particular piece of work...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Well I don't know, he said "and Hammerstein" as if to indicate that Hodgers, Rodgers and Hammerstein wrote South Pacific, which of course is deviation, because Hodgers had nothing to do with it.
SP: Where was Rodgers?
NP: I think you're struggling a little bit on that one.
PM: I thought it was brilliant!
NP: What I think we, we should give you a point because the audience enjoyed what you said, but we knew what he wanted to say.
PM: Yes.
NP: He slipped up, he did an alliteration there on the words and so we give you the benefit of the doubt Tony, you keep the subject, you have a point, you have there is nothing like a dame, you have 42 seconds starting now.
TH: It was written in a period when they were not politically correct. It includes the lyrics nothing looks like a dame, nothing cooks like a dame...
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
SP: Um...
NP: Two nothings but it's on the card.
SP: Yes it is.
NP: So you can't have it.
SP: So what I've done there is another spectacular own goal! I'm going to keep on whacking them in my own net until we finish here, and then I shall leave under a blanket!
NP: You don't need to, we love having you.
TH: Yes.
NP: Your contribution is immeasurable.
SP: He's started again, help me!
NP: Another point to you Tony, 33 seconds, there is nothing like a dame starting now.
TH: As we perform on this stage at the Theatre Royal, Brighton, the set behind us reveals that Aladdin, a pantomime is here. Dame of course is a crucial figure in this particular form of entertainment of which I have no doubt most of the audience have come and supported in their loyal way that they are likely to do, even though they'll find it dreadfully...
BUZZ
NP: Neil challenged.
NM: He just looks like he is going to expire!
PM: He does! He does look like that! He does!
NP: I must say the audience...
NM: I don't want his blood on my hands, that's all I care...
NP: I must say, that is the joy of watching Just A Minute recorded, he did look as if he was going to expire. He was keeping going with tremendous nervous energy expressed on his face and Neil, thank you for drawing our attention to that. We all saw it actually but you got a laugh...
PM: I think it was a medical intervention!
NM: Yes.
NP: But you got a very good laugh for your interruption so we'll give you a bonus point...
NM: Oh I say.
NP: ... because the audience enjoyed what you said. But Tony gets a point because he was interrupted, he keeps the subject with 15 seconds to go on there’s nothing like a dame starting now.
TH: I do voiceovers like Dame Judi Dench or Dame Peggy Ashcroft...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: He's too slow!
TH: (laughs) You changed that one, didn't you! You were going to go, it's repetition of Dame, to it's too slow.
PM: No he's going too slow...
TH: Ahhhhhh!
PM: He's drawing out his words.
NP: Is that your challenge?
PM: Yeah.
NP: No he did repeat Dame but it's too late now.
PM: No that's on the card.
NP: Oh it's on the card, of course it is, yes! It gets to you sometimes right...
PM: It's, it's, daaaaaaaame Judi daaaaaaaame Peggy, you know.
TH: Oh...
NP: He didn't actually come to a halt so I think he was illustrating something and I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, he keeps the subject, nine seconds, there's nothing like a dame Tony starting now.
TH: Dame of course is another word for women....
BUZZ
NP: Sue Perkins challenged.
SP: Repetition of of course.
NP: You did say of course before.
NM: Yeah he says it all the time.
NP: Mmmm, so Sue you've got in this time with seven seconds on there is nothing like a dame starting now.
SP: I do enjoy pantomime. But I find of late the whole genre has changed. Whereupon once upon a time you would it...
BUZZ
NP: Tony challenged.
TH: Well I was going to say repetition of upon, but whereupon is one word, isn't it.
NP: Whereupon is one word.
TH: Was it grammatically faulty?
NP: No it wasn't!
SP: We'd be here all night!
NP: It was...
TH: It wasn't stylish, but we'll let it go, we'll let it go.
NP: The keen sharp challenge was incorrect so she's given you another point and you only have one second to go on there is nothing like a dame Sue starting now.
SP: I like a horse...
WHISTLE
NP: So Sue Perkins was again speaking as the whistle went and with other points in that round, she has moved forward, she is now three ahead of Paul Merton and she is four ahead of Tony Hawks, who has leapt forward. And Neil is just behind him. And Paul I think it is your turn to begin, so the subject now is the end of my tether, 60 seconds as usual starting now.
PM: I find it very difficult to reach the end of my tether. I have an extremely long tether, it's one of the longest tethers in this part of England. And as I walk down towards the end of my tether, I think to myself, I'm going to need a packed lunch for this one! Because it's a hell of a hike! Put your big sturdy boots on, 10 miles, you're still only half way up the tether. Then you think to yourself I'll have myself a nice sandwich...
BUZZ
NP: Neil challenged.
NM: Did you say yourself more than once?
PM: I'm not answering questions at this stage, until I've seen my lawyer!
NP: He repeated another word, but not yourself.
NM: Yeah, that one, he repeated, that was repetition.
NP: No he didn't repeat that one, he repeated another one that I can't tell you about, unless you...
PM: Why, have you forgotten what it was?
NP: No, I know what it was.
PM: Yeah.
TH: You keep out of it Nicholas, you let us deal with it! Trying to get in on our act here!
NP: Paul you have 40 seconds on the end of my tether starting now.
PM: While working for Barnum's circus, I was tied up next to the lion cage and it was awful! I had enough... rope...
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
SP: Slight hesitation, either that or mime was being invented.
NP: No no I will give you hesitation on that one and give you 34 seconds, the end of my tether starting now.
SP: It was while Interrailing in Europe I came across the end of Paul's tether. It had stretched some 300 miles across the Channel and through the incredible wastes of northern France and onwards to the other bit of geography I never studied in Europe, next to France, the one of the right...
BUZZ
NP: Neil challenged.
NM: I think, try as she might, she did say Europe twice.
NP: Yes, 18 seconds Neil, the end of my tether starting now.
NM: At the end of my tether is a small chipmunk called Phil. Such fun we have together, his tether pulling as he goes to a small place called... Pole...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Was it hesitation?
NP: Yes I'm afraid it was.
PM: Yeah.
NP: So Paul you're back in on the tether.
PM: Yep.
NP: With seven seconds to go, at the end of my tether starting now.
PM: My tether is made of leather, and I think that is how it should be. If it was made of felt...
BUZZ
NP: Tony challenged.
TH: Ah re...
NP: Yes.
SP: No!
TH: Repetition of made.
NP: Yes, made of, quite right. Two seconds, you got in with two seconds to go, Tony at the end of my tether starting now.
TH: My tether is so enormous...
WHISTLE
NP: So Tony Hawks was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. He's moving forward very rapidly. He's now equal with Paul Merton in second place, two behind Sue Perkins and just ahead of Neil Mullarkey. That is the sequence, that is the order. And Neil we'd like you to take the next round, the subject is all mod cons, 60 seconds starting now.
NM: All mod cons is a wonderful album by The Jam. Those boys from Woking led by Paul Weller sang their hearts out, what crable... bah!
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
NM: I was, I was about to list the tracks on the album! What Crablebar.... it's a place in Woking!
SP: Um...
NP: Sue what is your challenge?
SP: That he was imitating the mating cry of the bull chaffinch, which isn't part of the English language.
NP: Right, no, it actually isn't the mating cry of the bull chaffinch, because I have heard it.
SP: I bet you have, you old...
NP: So within the rules of Just A Minute, what was your challenge?
SP: Ah hesitation. It was...
NP: No...
SP: Well it was sort of deviation from the English language, it was a deviation from sense.
NP: I think he was trying to reproduce, I think he was trying to produce the sound that they did make, that particular pop group. So I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.
NM: Thank you!
SP: Nicholas have you ever listened to an album by The Jam? Do they ever do this.... craaayyy ohh wah!
NM: It was Crablebar!
TH: When you play it backwards, it sounds exactly like that!
NP: And my gramophone was running down at the time so... no, listen Neil hasn't played the game as often as the rest of you.
TH: Yeah.
NP: So give him the benefit of the doubt.
NM: And English, English, ahole, English, English isn't my first language.
NP: Really? Right, 49 seconds, all mod cons, with you Neil Mullarkey starting now.
NM: Other Jam records...
BUZZ
NP: Tony challenged.
TH: Repetition of Jam.
NP: Jam, 47 seconds, all mod cons starting now Tony.
TH: Brighton is famous for its mods and rockers, certainly during the 60s. Now if one of the mods was to be offending...
BUZZ
NP: Neil challenged.
NM: Well he looks uncomfortable again.
PM: Repetition of mods.
NM: But mods is on the thing, he repeated mods.
PM: Mods, repetition of mods.
NM: Mods, plural, thanks very much, yeah. He said mods plural and mod cons is the thing. I knew that!
PM: Yes, repetition of mods, that's very good Neil, you've got the subject, time starts now.
NP: This is how I run the show, I let then have their head...
PM: Thanks very much!
NP: .. so we get as many laughs as possible and Paul we give you a bonus point for that because we enjoyed it. You have the subject Neil, because you got the correct challenge via Paul. And 39 seconds, all mod cons starting now.
NM: Cons of course means convicts, those who are modern are mod cons. They use Ipods, mobile phones, grilled chicken. This is the way...
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
SP: It's not really a challenge, more a question. How would modern convicts use grilled chicken?
NM: Well...
SP: As an assault weapon?
NM: Well... not an assault weapon...
PM: While they escape.
NM: They want to get away, they don't want to use a sandwich, because they've got weight issues, they want a low-cost diet...
NP: Will you stop going on, listen, listen, you want another point, you've got it and you have 28 seconds on all mod cons starting now.
NM: Should you meet a mod con, don't say hello. Maybe wink in a...
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
SP: Hesitation.
NP: That's hesitation yes Sue, you've got all mod cons and you have 22 seconds starting now.
SP: I was once conned by a mod who said "jump on the back of my moped, wear a parka, you'll look cool". So I did and then people started spitting at me and there was an enormous target on my back which people used to fire targets in Croydon...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Repetition of people.
NP: People yes, there were too many people there I'm afraid. Ten seconds still available Paul, tell us something about all mod cons starting now.
PM: Well the album that Mister Mullarkey refers to by The Jam features much wonderful tracks like Down In The Tube Station At Midnight or A-Bomb In Wardour Street. Oh how we danced...
WHISTLE
NP: So Paul Merton was speaking then as the whistle went, gained that extra point. He's moved forward, he's still three points behind Sue Perkins, he is just ahead of Tony Hawks, a few points ahead of Neil Mullarkey. And Tony I think it's about time you started again. The subject now is, oh a lovely one, hot potato. Sixty seconds starting now.
TH: When I was at school, we had a PE teacher who told us to treat the basketball like a hot potato. He meant that he wanted us to pass it quickly. Unfortunately we ate it. But that is his particular tragic thing that happened in his life. He went on to become something else, I won't tell you about that now...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Well he's just descended into drivel, isn't he. Lots of hes, repetition of he, he did this...
NP: Yeah you did have so many hes, we let one or two go, but I mean four, all right yes Paul, benefit of the doubt and there are 41 seconds available, hot potato starting now.
PM: I read in the paper the other day you're more likely to have a heart attack in a hospital than a snack bar. So now I ah...
BUZZ
SP: Oh no!
NP: Tony you challenged.
TH: Yes I think there was a slight hesitation.
NP: I think it was and 36 seconds available Tony, a hot potato starting now.
TH: A hot potato is a potato that is extremely attractive to other potatoes. Perhaps brussel sprouts also in the greengrocers might lean across and say wow, that's a hot potato baby. Look at the way it's winking at me. Perhaps after the shop closes we can get together and make a salad or something like that. This...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Sorry, is this a brussel sprout saying all this? You don't get brussel sprouts in salads!
NP: Oh I eat them all the time.
PM: Brussel sprouts in salads?
NP: I love raw brussel sprouts, they're...
PM: In a salad?
NP: On a salad yes.
PM: Really?
NP: This one was leaning over as well.
SP: Yeah, and winking!
PM: Well I've no evidence for the right or wrongness of that, I just know you don't find them in salads.
NP: Well yes you do, you can put them in a salad...
PM: Brussel sprouts?
NP: You cut off the end, you can cut them up and put them in the salad.
PM: Really?
SP: With a hot potato.
NP: Yes. It's like...
TH: I must say I like the way this is going!
NP: Anyway...
TH: I'm winning on this, Nicholas.
NP: Anyway you can use them, and I've definitely used them, I love my raw brussel sprouts.
PM: Yeah.
NP: I don't know what it says about me but there are the facts that I've revealed for a whole nation to know.
PM: It says you're barely civilised!
NP: It means that Tony has another point and 14 seconds, hot potato starting now.
TH: I haven't revealed this thus far in the show, but I was brought up in Brighton. And I used to walk home from a night out on the tiles, pass spudgey like, and have a hot potato when completely arseholed! That's how much I...
WHISTLE
NP: Right so Tony was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. We have an interesting situation because we're moving into the final round actually. So I'll give you the situation as we do that. Neil is lagging just a little in fourth place, but he hasn't been quite as regular a player as the others. But we have one point separating Paul Merton, Tony Hawks and Sue Perkins in that order as we go into the final round. And Paul we're going to ask you to take it, the subject is the icing on the cake, 60 seconds as usual starting now.
PM: The icing on the cake when I come to record Just A Minute is to be able to sit and chat with all the competitors afterwards, as we lie around the hotel discussing how the programme may have gent...
BUZZ
TH: I think he's ready to lie around the hotel already!
NP: So Tony, your challenge, I must know for the rules.
TH: Yes I think a deviation.
NP: Deviation or hesitation, 49 seconds, Tony the icing on the cake starting now.
TH: The icing on the cake in this show is when you are interrupted but Nicholas gives you a bonus point! Such a lift of the morale that is! Almost like having icing...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Well if you're interrupted, Nicholas doesn't give you a bonus point. He gives a bonus point to the person who interrupted...
TH: He's going to now, you watch!
PM: No, if you yourself have been talking you keep the subject, that's a point you get because you keep the subject, it's not a bonus point.
NP: Paul you made your point. Very clever.
PM: Yeah.
NP: And very shrewd. And absolutely true actually. So you have a point for that...
PM: Thank you.
NP: Correct challenge and you have 38 seconds, you tell us something more...
BOOS AND JEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE
NP: He is correct and you're not running the show!
SP: Hello! Nicholas, Nicholas there is one of you and there's about 700 of them! And some of them are from Saltdean!
PM: One of them's got a rope!
NP: Paul it was a correct challenge, a very clever one too so you have 38 seconds, you take over the icing on the cake starting now.
PM: This show is represented by 40 years of appearing on the...
BUZZ
NP: Neil challenged.
SP: Repetition of...
NP: No no, Neil's light came on first so Neil it's your challenge.
NM: Actually I don't know that I did, but I was thinking of saying, he repeated show, didn't he?
SP: He did it before.
NM: He said show in the previous bit.
NP: That's right he did, he talked about show before. Whoever presses their buzzer first, a light comes on in front of me. It was yours Neil so correct challenge, you have the subject...
NM: Calm down, all right, you know, we've all had a drink, let's just have a laugh together! We'll go back and lie down in the hotel later, all right?
NP: Not with you if you don't mind!
NM: Oh you've changed your tune!
SP: Yes!
NP: Thirty-five seconds for you Neil, the icing on the cake starting now.
NM: The icing on the cake refers to the piece de resistance, that final detail without which nothing would be complete. It's the final... thing...
BUZZ
NP: Tony challenged.
TH: Did he say final before? Repetition of final.
NP: Yes he did.
TH: Yes.
NP: There we are, but it was the way he was doing it, his animated delivery...
TH: That's his business, I keep out of that.
NP: So Tony you have a point, the subject, 23 seconds, the icing on the cake starting now.
TH: Children sometimes eat the icing on the cake and then leave the sponge bit. Very cruel thing to do to the mother who spent the time making that particular delicacy for them to...
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
SP: Sorry he stumbled over delicacy. Deviation from the word delicacy?
PM: I think, I don't think it's cruel to eat only part of a cake.
SP: Yeah.
PM: I don't call that cruel.
NP: No, it was cruel to the mother who made the cake. I accept Tony’s premise.
PM: Do you?
NP: Yes I do, I think it was very unkind of that child not to eat the cake.
SP: Is this something, is this something you want to talk about Nicholas? Something that happened to you maybe when you were much younger...
TH: Such tension for knowing which way this adjudication will go!
NP: Benefit of the doubt to Tony, the icing on the cake, 12 seconds starting now.
TH: I haven't made any cakes for years. It's very tiring. You've got to put them in the oven and watch the time and make sure everything's all right. Icing them afterwards is also particularly difficult. I don't get involved in that sort of thing, leave it to...
WHISTLE
NP: Well they all got points in that round. And the final situation was, Neil Mullarkey, who hasn't played as often as the others finished up in a very fine fourth place. Did very very well. He was a few points behind Paul Merton who was in third place. He was only one point behind Sue Perkins with her second place. And she was four points behind Tony Hawks so we say Tony this week you are our winner! It only remains to say thank you to these four delightful players of this game, Paul Merton, Sue Perkins, Tony Hawks and Neil Mullarkey. I also thank Charlotte Davies, who has helped me keep the score, blown her whistle very well. And also we are indebted our producer Tilusha Ghelani. And we are very indebted to Ian Messiter who thought of this amazing game. And we are very grateful to this lovely audience at the Theatre Royal in Brighton who seem to have enjoyed themselves, we have enjoyed ourselves. So from the audience, from me Nicholas Parsons, tune in the next time we play Just A Minute! Yes!
THEME MUSIC