 |
| The Chicken Talon Report An Associate Producer's Blog Or, How To Eat Well On A Budget By Flim Flam |
 |
 |
| So I've been an Associate Producer for, like, five years. Which is pretty amazing, since I've only been out of high school for about 16 hours. I'm in community college, so what did you expect? Critical thinking or something? GOSH!!!! All's I know is, my dad knows the station's sales manager from Kiwanis Club meetings. One day, I'm sitting in my usual seat in detention, the next--psych!--I'm running prompter for Your News At Six! So here's my flippin' blog, dude. |
| My Dr. Evil impression kind of missed the mark |
 |
 |
| May 25 ok so you wanted to know about my workday.heer is my typical schedule: 2:36pm arrive 6 minutes late, blame crappy "mirth-mobile"--my ford escort--for not going fast enough 2:37pm hide in break room, read a comic book 4:42pm take a video feed 4:43pm complain about all that hrd work 5:26pm complain about reporters who don't have their packages ready 5:27pm edit some stuff for the 5:30 show 5:28pm see if prompter actually works 5:29pm quick nap 5:30pm newscast starts 5:30:15pm complain about reporters who don't have their earpieces in 6:01pm think up clever excuse for not rolling prompter for reporter in newsroom 6:01:15pm fall down out of my chair 6:03:45pm change script to include extra question mark to see if anchors are paying attention 6:03:46pm ok SORRY gosh 6:11:13pm forget to switch prompter to viddeo for weather guy. what a wuss 6:14pm fall down out of my chair 6:29:59pm head to cafeteria fridge to see what's for dinner 6:42pm read magazine found in someone's desk 9:49pm pack up gear, head out to shoot highlights of high school game that started at 7pm 10:02pm return, blame stupid producer for missing game 10:03pm listen to Linkin Park CD on control room audio board, surf web for deals on eBay, answer emails 10:04pm start editing entire 11pm newscast 10:05:30pm yell bloody murder over crappy, broken down equipment 10:21pm tell 15 people i have a date this weekend 10:22pm quick tri to find date 10:48pm bum a cigarette 10:49pm smoke a cigarette 10:49:30pm chok on cigarette 10:53pm tell reporter he's got an "ID-Ten-T" tech problem with his tape: "ID10T," ha ha! 10:59:37pm check out prompter, pray for no malfunctions 11:08:45pm fall down out of my chair 11:29:59pm scope cafeteria fridge for snack 11:37pm ad up timecard; add eight minutes of overtime 11:38pm fire up mirthmobile, find bar where reporter/anchor babes hang out 11:47pm call it a night well what the hey doe you expect for $5.25 an hour? "Lownbrau" ona "Pabst Blue Ribbon" budget?take a hike. |
| June 6 everybody nos about my studly love manuvers. and they bow down to ME ok ok this time, time, the waitress at Perkins gave me a--at least-- nine extra french fries with my fish sticks. that's about the strongest hint. I've ever had from a girl! So, I went back the last nine nights in a row but for some reason they keep seating me in a different section. IDIOTS!!!! good thing i keep getting hungry almst evry single day |
| June 10 i am so cooooooooool today my dad bouht me like four soots n a tux today--spent almost a hundred bux!!!! which is like so cool cuz i can pimp out in his station wagon anytime i want now. someobdy said i should get sum shirtz and ties but thatll have to wait until after dad's next payday so maybe ill just wear the suit and nothing else, what do u think abou tthat, huh? the chix r gonna luv me now!!! but the chik at i kind of hit on at work tonite didnot seem impressed i dunno maybe she just doesnt get how awesum i am yeahhhhhhhhhh the perkins waitress will have to return my calls now or els she dont no whats she s ,missing |
| June 2 and there was this girl in my Rudimentary Sitting On A Chair class who i sware smiled at me every time i walked into the classroom. i worked hard on my homework for the hole solid semester so i could offer to tutor her for the Final. gosh, i was so worked up about her!!! i told everyone all about her tangled, matted hair; her bloodshot eyes; those long, scarred fingernailz that looked just like my talons. but then my friend danny burst my bubble. he sat me down today to explain she wasn't really smiling at me, she just had some bad dental work. |
| June 9 i didnot get any fryes tonigte AGAIN at Pekrins who nos whatsup with that |
| May30 we wer watchjing that funny movie with chevy chase and it rreminds me about my serious helth problm i was forced to share with everyone at work rpeeatedly today: Chronic Equilibrium Disorder. dr emil faber sajd "knowledj is good:" and for me for for sume reason, chairs seem to slip out from under me,e even when i sware i'm sitting still and minding my own business. they just have cheap chairs at work. |
 |
| MY BLOG May 29 my cell phone rang tudoay!!! whoa good thing i downloded those ton loc ringtones so everyone in line at taco bell could here them. too bad it wuz a wrong number we talked for ten minits anywas what the heck |
| eatnig stole food nobody can see me though haha |
| June 14 okay so the car (the "Mirthmobile", yeahhhhhhh) ran out of gas AGIAN!!! wht kind of crappie cars do they make tha6t cantnot run with out no gas????? Like Ive got time to stop and use dads creditcrd for ruidiculus things like gasoline. Fortunatel I wass at the 7-11 getting a slurpee so it toook only a few dozens people to push the car 18 feet over to the gas pump. so I was late for work for like the 199th time in a row, oh well theycan't live with me they cant live without me |
| June 15 Today is my brother Jason's birthday he's like 23 ancient old man haha To cleebrate I ordered pizza delivered with dad's handy old credit crd. but the chick who broht the pizza was so HOTTTTTTTT I tiped her seems like 20 bucks which was about almost 100 percent tip but she sure earned ti! whatevr! she actually smiled when I opened the door and saw gher and dropped my GI Joe!!! |