Hi, this is my first piece of J/C (or Voyager, for that matter) fan fiction. Please email me and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: The Star Trek universe and all therein belongs to Paramount, not me. No infringement of Copyright is intended.

Setting: After the Hirogen arc and everything has returned to normal.

"But that's not it at all," Q said with a smile, "You see, in this universe, Commander Chakotay is also dead."

She tightened her lips, but otherwise did not respond. Q continued speaking.

"I've taken you a few years into the future as well, so in this universe, you and Chakotay were together for almost six years before he died. Two months ago the Commander was killed on an away mission by some hostile natives. A tragedy... But then, as you said, you aren't exactly in a safe position out here."

She looked over at her alternate self. She could see the truth of his words written plainly on her face. She did look a bit older. There were a few more lines around her eyes. More than that, though, there was a hidden sorrow in her eyes telling clearly of her recent loss. Even with her daughter in her arms, the pain was there, though she obviously covered it well for the sake of those around her. But it was the child sitting on her alternate self's lap that was capturing her attention.

"What's her name?" she asked softly without looking away.

"Phoebe," Q answered, watching her face closely.

She drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. Q guessed that he would never fully understand humans. Oh, he could have if he wanted to, but it was so much more challenging this way - from observing there many quirks and follies. He'd been speculating which scenario would prove the most effective in convincing her, and he hadn't really expected it to be this one. Still, considering her reaction to the sight before her, he was going to take full advantage of it.

A flash of light later, and she found herself once again occupying someone else's body and mind. This time, however, it was even more different than the last time. There was pain there - that all too familiar ache of having lost someone. The grief was still fresh, and she shared the impulse to curl into a ball and simply stop breathing. But above and beyond all the hurt and anguish were two things.

One was the memory of him and their love. Fleeting images: the first time he said "I love you"; him proposing to her on the bridge; the look of wonder on his face when he held their daughter for the first time; the desperation in his voice as he died, telling her he'd always be with her, and that she had to go on... All these things and more she remembered as if they were her own experiences

The other thing that overshadowed his death in her mind was her daughter. The knowledge that her daughter needed her more than anything else was enough to help her keep going - to resist that urge to curl up and die.

Her alternate self looked down at the child in her lap and hugged her tighter, then looked over at Ensign Hickman.

"Thankyou, Ensign, she can stay here for a while - I'll bring her back after lunch," she said, then watched as Phoebe jumped up and ran up to Tom at the helm.

She shared her alternate self's pride as her daughter asked a hundred questions about what all the buttons did, and why they couldn't just go as fast as they wanted to, and other things that had the poor lieutenant turning around in his seat with a pleading expression.

And behind all the emotions of love, pride, happiness and sorrow, there was a single thought. That this was right. That there were no regrets. That there could be no regrets.

And suddenly she was herself again, standing with Q, watching the scene on the bridge as if from a great distance. And she felt a great sense of loss. She missed the feeling of having loved Chakotay, and of having had a daughter. All the memories were fading, the feeling of loving and having been loved were slipping away. And she wanted to hold onto them.

"You understand now, don't you?" Q's voice spoke to her.

"Yes," she replied.

"And so you're ready to go back? You know what you'll do?"

"Yes," she replied with conviction. "But there's something else, Q. Something else I need."

He nodded, knowing what it was.

"Promise me, Q."

"I promise."

She welcomed the flash of light when it came.

She found herself standing in the corridor outside his quarters. She asked the computer for the time. It had only been ten minutes since Chakotay had left her after saying goodnight. It felt like hours. Gathering the strength that had seen her through all her years of command, she reached out and pressed the door chime. She knew what she wanted to do. She just wasn't sure how she was going to go about it. But when the door opened to reveal him standing there, she knew exactly what to do.

Chakotay staggered slightly, partly from shock, but mainly because Kathryn Janeway suddenly flew through the door and flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. He instinctively returned the embrace, stroking her hair, and was about to ask what was wrong when she pulled back slightly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and pulled his head down to hers.

She kissed him desperately, her lips clinging to his, then buried her face against his neck again.

"I'm sorry," she said again, louder this time. "I kept pushing you away. I promise I won't ever do that again."

By this time, Chakotay had recovered enough to talk. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away till he could see her face.

"Kathryn, what happened?" he asked, bewildered.

Her eyes filled with tears, and she laughed slightly as she blinked them away.

"I had a revelation," she announced, sounding rather more like her usual self, "I realised I have to make the most of the present, because now is the only time I'll ever have. And some prices are just too much to pay for the illusion of safety."

His face took on an expression of wonder, as he dared to hope that perhaps, finally, she was ready. She answered the question in his eyes the best way she knew how, as she brought her mouth up to meet his again.

When Chakotay finally broke the kiss, they smiled at each other with new found delight.

"And just how did you reach this "revelation" of yours?" he asked before moving to kiss her neck.

"I had a little help," she confessed, feeling the urge to laugh when he looked up suddenly in confusion.

She lead him over to the couch and they sat beside each other, their fingers entwined. She looked down at their joined hands, and knew that this was right.

"It all started with Q," she blurted out as way of a beginning.

"Q!"

This time she did laugh, then proceeded to tell him the whole story. Though not before a voice floated into her mind.

"Now we're even," it whispered, and was gone.

END PART FIVE

She was on her way down to engineering when it happened. She'd been feeling twinges for a few hours now, but what with the way her back and ankles ached, it had only seemed one more discomfort to add to the list. But as she was walking, wadling more like it, she thought grimly, down the corridor towards the turbolift, a stabbing pain in her abdomen caused her to stop and double over suddenly.

It's started, she thought in surprise, even as she gritted her teeth against the pain.

Jenny Delaney, rounding the corner a few moments later, hurried over to her.

"Captain, are you alright?" she asked worriedly.

"I think I will be," she replied, a smile crossing her face as the pain faded and excitement took it's place, "But you might need to help me down to sickbay."

The ensign's face lit up immediately.

"Of course, Captain. Oh this is wonderful!" she said, and took the older woman's arm. As they stepped onto the turbolift, she asked, "Shouldn't we notify the Commander?"

"No, not just yet, I want to make sure this is the real thing before he comes racing down off the bridge."

They shared nervous smiles as they made their way slowly off the turbolift and into sickbay.

Twenty minutes later, Voyager's first officer sat oblivious to the commotion his wife was causing just a few decks below. Then the comm system chirped.

"Sickbay to the bridge."

"Chakotay here, Doctor."

"Commander, your presence is required in sickbay."

"Is anything wrong?"

The doctor actually hesitated. Then another voice took over.

"There will be something wrong if you don't get here right now Commander! Oh God -" she broke off as another contraction hit.

"As you can hear, the Captain is rather anxious for you to join us, Commander," the Doctor said dryly.

Chakotay blanched, his face went whiter than anyone on the bridge had ever seen it. The doctor continued.

"Mr Paris, I'd ask that you accompany the Commander down here."

Tom, who was already well aware of what his role in the birth would be as Voyager's assistant medic, rose and turned. Just in time to see Chakotay come to his senses, leap to his feet and sprint to the turbolift, leaving him to catch the next one.

Shaking his head in amusement, he turned to Harry and grinned.

"Hey Harry, open a ship wide channel."

Immediately catching onto his idea, and before Tuvok could object, he proceeded to do so.

"All hands, this is Lieutenant Paris speaking. It is with great pleasure that I proclaim sickbay out of bounds, except in an emergency, as we await the arrival of Voyager's newest crew member! Oh yeah, and there'll be a little gathering in holodeck 2 tonight to celebrate this joyous occasion. Everyone's welcome. Paris out."

Then the turbolift arrived and he jumped on, leaving a sheepish Ensign Kim to listen to Tuvok's lecture on unauthorised use of the ship wide comm system. Meanwhile, the excitement level on the ship rose by about two hundred percent.

Five hours later, there was quiet once again in sickbay. The exhausted mother and child lay drowsing, while Chakotay looked on in wonder.

Kathryn Janeway looked down at her sleeping daughter and was filled with a flood of emotion. As she stroked one finger over the wisps of dark hair covering her head, she imagined the little girl she would grow to be - bouncing across the bridge, ponytail bobbing, full of questions. And she smiled, knowing at last that Q had kept his promise - had given her Phoebe - and was sure in the knowledge that this was right.

THE END

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