Hey everyone!

Uh, keep in mind that this isn't a serious story - it's kind of silly in places. Don't think about it too much - just read it and accept it for what it is: mindless, contrived, nonsensical, light-hearted J/C-fic.

Disclaimer: The Star Trek universe and all therein belongs to Paramount, not me. No infringement of Copyright is intended.

Finally.

Captain Janeway sighed as she lowered herself into the steaming water. She'd been waiting for this all day. It had just been one thing after another throughout the whole of alpha shift. She'd barely sat down for more than ten minutes all day. So right now, all she wanted to do was lie here and do nothing but soak up the heat.

She'd just rested her head against the rim of the tub when she was hailed.

"Neelix to Captain Janeway."

She hesitated, not wanting to move, and wishing with all her heart that if she just stayed quiet, he might go away.

"Neelix to Captain Janeway," the Talaxian's voice came again, this time a little more insistent.

She really would have to answer it. It would never do for a security detail to come crashing in here while she was in her bath. So she would have to answer it. But she was going to move as little as possible to do so.

Her commbadge was in her bedroom - that was annoying, and she certainly wasn't going to go all that way to get it. The wall console in the bathroom was above the bath down by her feet. Deciding that was probably the best way to go, she stretched her foot up and keyed the comm line open with her big toe.

"Yes Neelix, what is it?" she called, hoping her voice didn't sound strange from this far away.

"Captain, I'm sorry to bother you, but I need to speak to you about a matter of utmost importance," he said in all seriousness, then continued without waiting for her to comment, "I believe their may be a potential threat to morale, Captain. Something has happened and I think it may have cause bad feelings among some of the crew."

It was almost enough to make her sit up. Almost.

"What exactly happened, Neelix?"

"Captain, I'd really prefer to speak to you about this in person. It's a delicate situation, I believe."

"Of course," she replied with a sigh, wishing there were more problems that could be solved over the comm line, "Can it wait till tomorrow, though?"

"Well..." she heard him hesitate, "Yes Captain, I suppose it can wait -"

He would have continued but she cut him off. "Good. Thank you for informing me, Mr Neelix. I'll see you at 0800 hours in my ready room. Janeway out."

She smiled as she keyed the connection closed. She'd dealt satisfactorily with the problem, and she'd only had to move her right leg. Feeling rather proud of herself, she breathed in deeply and relaxed as she exhaled, all the way down to her toes.

It was about two minutes later that the panel above her feet chirped again, and Tuvok's voice echoed around her bathroom.

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."

Twisting her mouth in chagrin, she went through the proceedings again with her big toe.

"Janeway here."

"Captain. There has been a minor incident involving two crewmembers that should be brought to your attention. May I come and speak with you about it?"

She cringed. Not now, she pleaded inwardly. But it was no use. It was hardly late in the evening. It certainly wasn't unreasonable for him to want to speak with her in this fashion. She had no plausible excuse to refuse him. Not that she really wanted to. She was well aware that if she did she would be mentally chastising herself for days for her lack of professionalism and dedication to duty.

"Give me half an hour, Tuvok," she said after a moment.

"Of course, Captain. Tuvok out."

Half an hour. She still had plenty of time to soak before she had to get out and make herself decent. She settled back down with what must have been her fiftieth sigh since returning to her quarters after dinner in the mess hall.

This time it was a whole fifteen minutes before her bath was interrupted again. This time, though, it was her door chiming and not the comm system. She hadn't planned on moving for another five minutes at least, so she called out to see if she really had to let this person in.

"Computer, who's outside my quarters?"

"Commander Chakotay," came the sterile reply.

Chakotay. She should have known. No one else would just show up to her quarters unannounced like this. Well, she still wasn't getting up unless she absolutely had to. Employing her big toe to key in a different sequence of commands, she opened a channel to her door.

"Chakotay, what do you want?" She was slightly fed up at this point, and the testiness came across all too clearly in her voice.

"Captain, may I come in? I need to speak with you."

"Chakotay, is this very important? Now isn't a good time," she replied, really not wanting to get out of the warm, soothing water just yet.

"Actually, Captain, it is rather important."

She thought for a moment. "This wouldn't have anything to do with a minor incident between two crewmembers, would it?" she asked. It occurred to her that that's what Neelix's morale crisis probably was as well.

"No..." his voice, sounding slightly strange as he replied, made her pay closer attention to what he was saying. "Actually, Kathryn, I wanted to talk to you about the other evening."

Oh no. The other evening. She'd only just managed to block it out of her thoughts. She should have known he wouldn't be able to leave it alone. She closed her eyes as she thought of what had happened.

Megan and Jenny had been celebrating their birthday on the holodeck. It was a small party, mostly just for their close friends. But both she and Chakotay had wanted to stop by and wish them happy birthday. It had all started so innocently. But as soon as they entered, drinks were pressed into their hands, something which barely registered at first as they were greeted by various people, and they went to pay their respects to the two guests of honour.

Nobody really knew what it was they were all drinking. It was something Neelix had picked up on their last visit to a trading planet. She'd discovered the next day that it hadn't been stored correctly, and so the potency of the liquid had been marginally increased. And it probably wouldn't have mattered if they'd just had one drink and left. But before they were able to speak to the twins, the cake was brought out, and everyone sang. Then they'd had to wait through a speech and two toasts, during which time they each finished off another drink. Finally they'd made it to where Megan and Jenny were sitting, and finally they were able to say what they'd come to say.

They were promptly urged to stay and have a piece of cake - brackleberry fudge al a Neelix. And what was the harm in doing that? They received a third drink with the cake, and both were soon involved in separate conversations. When she'd eventually emptied her plate and glass, she looked around for him, and spotted him making his way to her side. They'd agreed it was time to go, but suddenly moving about was more difficult than expected, as they both experienced dizziness and a strange sense of euphoria.

She giggled involuntarily. "Those drinks must have been stronger than I thought," she said, pressing one hand to her forehead.

Chakotay frowned. "They didn't taste alcoholic - I thought it was some kind of... um... fruit punch."

They'd made it out the doors by then, and were walking, albeit a bit unsteadily, down the empty corridor. The trip back to their quarters was almost uneventful. Almost. It wasn't until they had almost reached her door that she stumbled over her own feet. Acting automatically, he managed to break her fall, grasping her with one hand at her waist and the other on her upper arm. When she'd regained her balance, she found herself still in his arms, his proximity causing the cloud in her mind to increase tenfold. His own eyes looked back at her intently, as glazed over as her own must have been. In their drunken state, a situation like this was hardly going to be passed up, as their slackened judgement let deep-seated desires surface.

The kiss was hardly perfect. But what they lacked in coordination and finesse, they made up for in enthusiasm as their lips clung together. In the end, though, good sense hadn't been entirely thrown out the airlock. When they drew apart for breath, both seemed to realise what was happening - that they were intoxicated and not thinking clearly - and by an unspoken agreement they released each other abruptly.

One hand raised to her mouth in shock over what had just occurred, she managed to say, "Goodnight Chakotay," before turning and escaping into her quarters.

And that had been two days ago now. She'd been trying to forget it, hoping he would do the same. They hadn't mentioned it the next day, though admittedly she'd done her best to avoid him. Now, however, he was standing outside her quarters wanting to speak to her. This was not a good thing.

"So can I come in?" his voice reached her, beginning to sound just a little bit testy as well.

She began to feel even more irritated. All she'd wanted was an hour or so of peace to relax in her bath. But no. That was too much to ask. First Neelix, then Tuvok, and now Chakotay wanting to barge in here and talk to her about something she really didn't want to talk about. She spoke, not bothering to keep her voice level, as she rose from the water and stormed out of the bathroom.

"Oh for crying out loud. Fine, Chakotay. Fine. I'll be right there."

Not bothering to dry off, she wrapped a robe around her and was still tying it when she keyed the door open. She didn't look at him as the door opened, concentrating on fastening the silk sash of the robe. She stepped back.

"Well? Are you coming in or not?" she asked grumpily.

He stepped cautiously into the room, stunned by her tone and by her wet, dishevelled, appearance.

"I'm sorry if I got you out of the bath," he said carefully, not quite sure what it was she was upset about - being interrupted, or the topic he wanted to speak with her about.

"I told you it wasn't a good time," she replied, then sighed a bit, knowing it wasn't really his fault. I shouldn't take my bad mood out on him, she told herself, then spoke aloud in a much calmer tone. "But alright, Chakotay, now that you're here, what exactly was it that you wanted to say?"

He made a questioning gesture to her couch, and she moved to sit on it, hoping whatever it was wouldn't take too long to deal with. She really would have to change before Tuvok arrived.

"Kathryn, I just wanted to apologise for what happened. It wasn't really anybody's fault - we were both fairly drunk - but I just wanted to make sure you weren't feeling uncomfortable about it. I don't want it to harm our friendship."

She almost heaved a sigh of relief. Thank goodness. She was sure he was going to confront her about her feelings, or declare his own, or something else she simply wasn't prepared to deal with at the moment. But this she could handle easily.

"That's exactly how I feel, Chakotay. We should just pretend it never happened. It was, after all, just the alcohol talking."

He paused in replying. She held her breath, praying he would leave it at that.

"I think we both know that it wasn't just the 'alcohol talking'," he began.

She clenched her teeth as she realised he was going to press the issue after all.

"It just gave us an excuse to act on our feelings," he continued, "At least, I believe that's what I was doing. And I think that's what you were doing too. Now," he held up his hand to silence her as she opened her mouth to interrupt, "I don't want to pressure you, Kathryn, but perhaps it's time we re-examined our relationship. We both know there's more there than we admit to. What happened the other night is proof enough of that."

She took a deep breath. Then another. He was right. They did have to talk about this. Or rather - she had to talk to him. She had to tell him that the whole thing was out of the question, that despite whatever feelings they had for each other, they had to keep their relationship professional for the sake of the ship. In her current state of mind, it only bothered her a little how much she would hurt him with those words, because they would hurt her just as much. And it was his own fault for bringing up the issue and forcing her to say it, anyway.

She tightened her hands into fists and opened her mouth to speak, but before the words came out the sound of her door chiming interrupted her. She pursed her lips as she crossed to the door. Tuvok shouldn't have come for another five minutes or so. It wasn't like him to be early. When the door slid open, however, it wasn't Tuvok on the other side. It was two crewmen - Ivan Kutosov and Kevin Percy - both of whom were looking extremely uncomfortable about being there. It only took her a second to figure out why they were standing outside her door.

"Crewman Kutosov, Crewman Percy," she stood back from her door to let them in, "What can I do for you?"

They took in her bath robe, clinging to her damp skin in places; then they took in her wet hair, irritated expression, and Commander Chakotay sitting on her couch. They exchanged a look.

"Captain," Kutosov began, "Uh... If this is a bad time, this can probably wait till tomorrow..."

Ivan Kutosov had more experience with the Captain than Percy, having worked with her in Engineering a number of times, and had therefore been forced into doing all the talking. But from the looks of things, this really wasn't a good time, and as far as he was concerned, any talking he was going to do could be done tomorrow.

Unfortunately she had other ideas about that.

"No," she said, trying to keep her tone reasonable, "You're here now. But let me guess. You're the two who were recently involved in a... 'minor incident'?"

They exchanged another glance, both thinking that Tuvok must have gotten to her first just as they'd feared.

"Yes Captain," they both said at the same time. Kutosov continued hesitantly. "Captain, we wanted to come and apologise to you about our behaviour. Commander Tuvok told us he would be informing you, but we wanted to let you know ourselves and... uh... apologise in person."

She nodded, her lips compressed into a thin line. Chakotay looked as if he wanted to say something, trying to inconspicuously catch her eye, but she ignored him.

"Well, thank you for coming to me yourselves. Why don't you start by telling me just exactly what happened? I'm to understand you were fighting?"

More foot shuffling as the two crewmen realised they weren't going to get away with a simple reprimand.

"Captain... uh... Yes Captain. But it didn't come to blows. We were arguing..." He paused, wondering how much she knew, then decided she probably already knew exactly what happened, just wanted to know how truthful they would be. "And I pushed Crewman Percy. It may have gone further but Ensign Kaplan and Lieutenant Ayala intervened."

She gave them a hard stare. She shouldn't have to deal with this sort of thing. Ever. And especially not when she was in such a bad mood.

"What were you fighting about?" she demanded, not hiding the anger from her voice. The young men looked at the floor, their discomfort reaching new heights. She spoke again. "I probably don't want to know. But it doesn't matter what you were fighting about. What does matter is if this is ever going to happen again. So. Is it?" They both scrambled to assure her it would not. She nodded once, sharply, to silence them. "Good. What I'd now like to know is just exactly what you thought you were doing. Is this how you think officers on this ship behave? Both of you -"

The sound of her door chiming cut into her tirade. She just barely kept from screaming in frustration. She held up a finger at the two men standing at attention in the middle of her room.

"Don't move," she warned them, and marched over to her door for the third time in ten minutes.

Tuvok was right on time. She stood back to let him in, thinking she could deal with both him and the two crewmen at the same time. What she didn't expect, however, was the sudden appearance of Neelix, who came hurrying through the door, just before it shut.

"Captain!" he exclaimed, panting as if he'd been running along the corridor, "I heard Mr Tuvok was coming to speak with you and I thought, since this is what I wanted to discuss with you as well, that I should attend this meeting."

"Captain," Tuvok spoke as soon as Neelix finished, though in much calmer tones, "I had indeed intended to speak with you about the incident involving these two crewmen. However, I did not expect to find them here."

She held up her hand to forestall any more talking. She looked around her quarters. The two young crewmen were still standing stiffly at attention, clearly wishing they were anywhere else but where they were. Neelix was standing closer to Tuvok than Tuvok obviously would have liked, and both looked to be trying to figure out just what, exactly was going on. And Chakotay... She frowned. Chakotay had made himself at home on her couch, with one arm casually resting along the back, and was observing the situation with amused interest.

She raised her eyes to the ceiling in pure sufferance. It was a test, she decided. Some superior being was testing her. Either that, or this was some huge joke on behalf of the universe and she was the punchline. She shook her head slightly. Thinking like that wasn't helping.

She just wished that she was a little more substantially dressed...

"Captain," Chakotay spoke up, trying to get her attention again.

"Not now Commander," she snapped, and turned to the others. "Tuvok. Kutosov and Percy came to apologise to me about their behaviour. You were going to inform me of the situation? Right. They've told me they were arguing, and that others intervened before things became violent. I agree this was a minor incident, and they don't need to be formally reprimanded. They've assured me this will not happen again. Was there anything you wanted to add?"

Neelix shook his head, sensing her mood and not wanting to risk it. Tuvok was less affected by her tone.

"Captain. I believe this situation has the potential to repeat itself. Kutosov and Percy share quarters. Their constant proximity to each other may aggravate their problem."

"Captain," Chakotay said again, a little more insistently this time.

She turned to him. "Yes, Commander," she spat, "What is it?"

He raised his eyebrows at her tone, and she immediately took a breath to calm down. "Captain, I just wanted you to know that I was approached by these two crewmen yesterday about being assigned to different quarters. I refused them, as they didn't seem to be able to come up with a sufficient reason other than not being able to get along."

Suddenly she remembered something she'd overheard a couple of days ago. Something about two crewmen not speaking to each other because of a certain ensign from Science. Since the rest of her crew seemed to be getting along just fine, these must have been the two crewmen referred to.

She turned to the two men in question. "You wanted different quarters?"

"Yes Captain." "Yes Captain."

"Tell me. This argument. It didn't have anything to do with Ensign Simms, would it?" They both stared at her in surprise, and she didn't bother waiting for a reply. She should have known something like this would be over a girl. "I think I'm beginning to understand the situation fully. And here's what we're going to do about it. You want separate quarters? Since you're so fond of fighting, obviously the solution is to let you beat each other until one of you needs to stay the night in sickbay. No?" she feigned surprise at their shocked expressions. "Well, I'm sure Lieutenant Tuvok could find you separate quarters down in the brig... Not too fond of that idea either huh? Alright. How about this. You will not fight about this again. Not even to argue. You will abstain from even mentioning this topic in the other's presence unless it is to discuss the problem like adults. If, after three days, you cannot resolve your differences, you may look for another alternative. If you can find someone willing to swap quarters, I'll approve it. If not, may I suggest talking to Commander Chakotay about switching to shifts where you will spend a minimum amount of time in each other's presence. However, I must say that I will be most disappointed if you cannot find a way to live peaceably together. Dissension is not acceptable on this ship. Is that clear?"

"Yes Ma'am," came the simultaneous reply.

She turned to Neelix and Tuvok. "Gentlemen. I'm sure there won't be any more problems with fighting. Is that -"

"Bridge to Captain Janeway."

She stopped mid-sentence as the voice of Lieutenant Rollins came over the comm system. The five men in the room all held their breaths - literally or figuratively. They all sensed that her barely-held temper could snap at any moment.

It almost did. She almost, almost lost it completely. I am a Starfleet Captain, she reminded herself.

She crossed to her desk console and opened the channel. "Janeway here, Lieutenant, go ahead," she said, her voice perfectly calm and collected.

Even Tuvok seemed to heave a sigh of relief.

"Captain," Rollins spoke, oblivious to the tension in the room, "Operations has detected a problem with the nav-deflectors. Engineering says it's interference from that class 7 nebula we're passing. We need to come to full stop to correct the problem, though the actual effect on ship's systems are minimal."

"Is B'Elanna handling things in Engineering?" she asked.

"Yes Captain, she's on beta shift this week."

"Then proceed, Lieutenant. I'll leave things in your capable hands. Keep me appraised. Janeway out."

She turned back to the group - all of them but Tuvok shifting uncomfortably in their places, even Chakotay. But she'd found some small iota of calm now, and was feeling slightly more able to talk without yelling.

"Right. Now, gentlemen, if there isn't anything el-"

Her door chimed. She couldn't believe it. Her door chimed. That did it. That was it. The very... last... straw. She'd handled everything so far as well as could be expected but even her extensive self control could only be stretched so far. All she'd wanted was a nice relaxing bath...

She stomped to the door and punched the keypad to open it. Hard.

"What?" she demanded without waiting to see who it was.

Ensign Kingsley, from Astrophysics, jumped back in surprise at the reception. She flinched at the expression on her captain's face, and timidly held out a padd to her. "Uh, C-captain, this is the... ah, the data from the probe we sent into the nebula? We... I mean... You wanted them - it by um... by this evening?" she managed finally.

Not caring that she had, in fact, asked the ensign to bring the data to her just this afternoon, she snatched the padd out of the girl's trembling hands. "Thank you," she snapped, not even noticing as Kingsley scurried away before the door had even shut. She spun on the rest of the room. "Right. You're all dismissed. Everyone out. Now."

They all seemed frozen in place for a second, then Kutosov and Percy turned as one and all but sprinted from the room. Neelix and Tuvok moved to follow them, and Chakotay, thinking it probably wasn't a good idea to continue their conversation this evening, made it halfway across the room before she spoke again.

"Not you, Commander. Sit!" she directed without looking at him, pointing at the couch.

He sat, eyeing her warily as he did so. She paced in front of the couch, her hands on her hips, her expression angry.

"Chakotay. You were right. We need to talk about this. And I think now is as good a time as any. What was it you said? We need to 're-examine our relationship'? Was that it?"

"Yes," he began but she continued talking.

"Well, I'm sorry but that's not going to happen - there will be no re-assessing our feelings. We probably should have had this discussion a long time ago - and I know I'm to blame for that. I ignored the situation when it would have been far easier to deal with it in the beginning. But I'll say now what I should have years ago. This," she stopped her pacing to stand before him, and gestured between them, "Our relationship, can never move beyond this point. It wouldn't work - we both know that. Whatever our feelings may be for one another, anything more is out of the question." She resumed her pacing, his eyes following her across the room. Her temper was building again, she knew, but after the day she'd had, she didn't give a damn. "You know I really don't need this Chakotay. You're aware of our situation. You've had command experience so you know how these things work. But you come in here and push the issue, so I'm terribly sorry if I've hurt your feelings. But I shouldn't have to deal with this. You saw what happened before. That's who I am, Chakotay. I'm the Captain - on hand twenty-four hours a day. I don't have time for a relationship."

Chakotay, who'd been listening to her tirade silently up till this point decided he'd better intervene before she started throwing things. He stood up and moved to her side, taking her arm gently.

"Kathryn," he spoke firmly before she could say another word, "It's alright. Calm down. Why don't you come and sit over here."

She jerked her arm away. "Why should I calm down? What, I'm not allowed to lose my temper just because I'm Captain?"

This time he took her hand in his, and didn't let go when she tried to pull it from his grasp. "You know that's not what I think. I just don't like seeing you so upset. Why don't you tell me what's wrong? Maybe I can help?" he asked in a gentle, soothing tone.

She managed to extricate her hand from his, and moved over to stare out the window, her arms crossed defensively over her chest.

"Fine. You want to know what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. All I wanted was a nice, relaxing bath. I've been on my feet since I woke up this morning. Engineering, Astrometrics, the Science lab, the Doctor, the shuttlebay, Environmental, - they all wanted a piece of me today. And that's fine. That's what I do. But I'd finally gotten back here, was just getting into a nice hot bath, and Neelix contacts me. Then Tuvok. Then you arrive. Then Kutosov and Percy. Then Tuvok and Neelix. Then the bridge calls me, and finally Ensign Kingsley turns up at my door. I'd just like to ask you, Chakotay," she finished hotly, feeling a strong urge to burst into tears, "How else you expected me to react?"

He'd approached her carefully while she finished her list of complaints, and now he reached up and squeezed her shoulders in a comforting fashion.

"It's alright," he soothed, pulling backwards and directing her to the couch when she began to move. "I don't blame you for losing your temper. No one would. You've had a terrible day."

He sat beside her on the couch and reached behind her. He began to gently massage her shoulders. She sighed softly, beginning to calm down.

With her head tilted forward and to the side to allow his hands more room, she spoke. "Chakotay I'm sorry for yelling at you. I had no right to take my irritation out on you like that."

"Don't apologise. You said yourself that just because you're Captain, doesn't mean you can't lose your temper every once in a while. You have the emotional control of a Vulcan most of the time. I certainly don't begrudge you the few times you do let your emotions loose. And besides. You know you don't have to hide what you're feeling from me. You don't have to keep everything in check. You can be whatever you need to be. Always."

She closed her eyes at his words. She was filled with shame, thinking of how she'd spoken to him before. All he ever did was care for her, and be there for her when she needed him. And when he did finally ask for something in return - clarification about their relationship - she completely lost it, and attempted to hurt him as much as possible. And yet even after all that he was still here with her, comforting her, and lending her strength.

What had she ever done to deserve him?

"I'm sorry for what I said before," she said quietly, "Or rather, how I said it. I was angry and I lashed out." She turned to face him on the couch, and his hands dropped away from her. "The truth is, Chakotay, that I do wish things could be different for us. I wish there was no need for us to have this conversation, no need for discussion. That we were free to explore our feelings. But we aren't. You know that. In our situation, commanding Voyager takes up so much of us that there isn't enough left for anything else." She fell silent, afraid to look at him. Afraid of the hurt she would see in his eyes.

"Kathryn," he said, taking her hand.

She did look at him then, and was surprised. None of the hurt and disappointment she expected to see was there. Instead his expression was one of almost amused tolerance.

"Kathryn, do you really think it would be that difficult to be together?" he asked, and when he received a sceptical look in reply he amended, "Well, alright. Say we did have to work a bit to get things right - don't you think it would be worth the effort?" The look on her face said he might be getting through to her, so he persisted. "Haven't you ever thought about what it would be like?"

"Yes," she all but whispered. She had thought about it. Sometimes it was all she could do not to think about it.

"Couldn't you give us a chance? Maybe even just a... a trial run?"

She gave him confused look. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, not quite over her bad mood to such an extent that she would put up with his odd sense of humour. They were having a serious discussion and he should act like it.

He smiled at her tone. "I meant that we could just... take things one step at a time. See how things work out. If we can't handle it, then we'll stop. It can't hurt. I think we're good enough friends that we can afford to take this kind of risk."

"Like an experiment?" she asked, trying not to smile.

He smiled back at her. "Exactly."

"An experiment..." she mused, intrigued by the idea, as he must have known her scientific mind would be. She'd never actually considered carrying out tests on her own emotions before... The smile she'd been trying to hold back turned into a crooked grin. "So just how exactly would you propose we carry out this 'experiment', Chakotay?" she asked, still under the impression that he was just joking - trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, I thought we could start like this," he answered her with an innocent expression, and then pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss.

She hadn't been expecting it. But in the few seconds they were actually in contact with each other, the whole situation took on a very real meaning where before it had been a game. She couldn't help but think, as he sat there watching her uncertainly, just how long it had been since she was last kissed. She kept her expression neutral, but raised her eyebrows at him, making him wonder if perhaps he shouldn't have done that. She had to hide her smile.

"You know, Chakotay..." she paused and she watched him wince slightly in preparation for the reprimand he seemed sure would follow. "An experiment isn't considered valid until it's been repeated with the same result."

By the time he registered what she'd said, she was already kissing him. This time it was his turn to be surprised. When she pulled back, she was smiling openly. She sighed, though, and closed her eyes again as he reached up and stroked his thumb over her cheek with his fingers in her hair.

Reality forced its way back in from somewhere, and she took his hand into both of hers, simply asking, "What are we going to do now?"

"We wait," he replied confidently, as if he'd already prepared an answer to the question he knew she'd ask. "We wait and see if anything changes. If we can't concentrate on duty, or if you suddenly lose the ability to command the ship, then I guess we'll know that wasn't such a good idea."

He spoke with practiced sincerity, and she fought hard not to laugh. Trying to glare at him instead, and forcing down the notion that they were both acting foolishly in a ridiculous situation, she told him of her very real concerns.

"Chakotay, I know what you're trying to do. But it's not... It's never been the... physical intimacy that I've shied away from. That has never been the potential danger of a relationship between us."

He sighed before replying. "I know. But I figure the rest will follow on its own. You worry too much," he said, stroking her cheek again, "It will all sort itself out. It will be alright, I promise."

With the feel of his touch still lingering on her skin, he rose from the couch. She didn't answer, deep in thought, and so didn't notice as he whispered goodnight, and left her alone to think.

Captain Janeway lay in bed dosing the next day. It was early morning, and though she was not aware of the exact time, she sensed that her alarm was about to go off any minute now. Stretching where she lay, she decided against getting up till she was supposed to, and stayed exactly where she was.

A smile crossed her lips as she thought of last night. She was slightly ashamed of her behaviour, but it had felt extremely good to vent a little. The crew knew all too well that she had the occasional bad mood, and though she was sure Kutosov and Percy would regal their friends with tales of how lucky they were to get out of the situation alive, it would all blow over once the crew observed her in her usual calm state.

The smile grew to a grin, and then an outright laugh as she remembered Chakotay's 'experiment' proposal. His audacity surprised her, not to mention that first kiss... Though now she thought of it, she'd probably shocked him just as much by kissing him back.

She sobered at that particular memory.

What in God's name was she going to do about him? He'd blown off all her reasons why nothing could happen between them. And then in the blink of an eye she was kissing him, and agreeing with him when he told her they could make it work. And right now, she found herself thinking how nice it would be to kiss him again... And how it would be even nicer to wake up in the morning with him beside her...

She was glad that her alarm went off at that moment, before her thoughts drifted even further into places they really shouldn't go. At least not yet, she amended, and then immediately berated herself for doing so. She spoke firmly to herself as she got out of bed and made her way into the bathroom.

Just because he kisses you, and you kiss him, doesn't mean you can just go and jump into bed with him. You're the Captain, damn it! What about Voyager? Your command??

Which brought her back to Chakotay's 'experiment'. She considered it as she went through her morning routine. Could he have the right idea, however ludicrous it sounded? Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to test the impact a relationship between her and Chakotay would have on the smooth running of Voyager. The thought that it might turn out that it wouldn't have any negative effects on her ability to be completely objective, terrified and excited her at the same time. Her heart leapt at the thought of being with him - really being with him, the way two people in love should be. She couldn't help but remember the way he'd made her feel last night. She'd only known a few people in her whole life who could make her feel so calm and unsettled at the same time.

But regardless of the way he made her feel, there was still the matter of all the problems a relationship with him could cause. But in truth, she didn't exactly feel any different this morning, aside from a slightly distracting desire to get him alone in her quarters again... Seriously though, she knew that should a crisis arise, she would have no trouble handling it. She wasn't that distracted by thoughts of him. And of course, she'd been plagued by fleeting thoughts of her first officer invading her mind for a long time now. It was just that now, the nature of those thoughts had become a bit more... She grinned to herself as the word 'lecherous' came to mind.

She'd finished dressing by that time, and emerged from her bedroom feeling confident about the day. She was in a good mood, she realised, a nice change from her decidedly ill temper of the previous evening. And despite the questionable origins of her good mood, she was going to make the most of it - starting with an early-morning visit to engineering to see if they had dealt sufficiently with the problems the nebula had caused last night. Though judging by the fact they'd returned to warp, it was safe to assume they had.

She picked up the padd Ensign Kingsley had delivered last night, and went over the data as she exited her quarters and headed for the turbolift. Thinking scientific, captain-like thoughts about nebulas and such, a stray hope echoed fleetingly through the back of her mind - that when she saw Chakotay again, all her confidence and self-assurance wouldn't completely fall apart.

It was a busy time in the mess hall, when most of alpha shift were on their lunch break. Captain Janeway was sitting opposite Tom and B'Elanna, eating Neelix's latest creation. The two lieutenants discussed a recent Parises Squares tournament held on the holodeck, but she didn't make an effort to join the conversation. Instead, she preferred to sit quietly and listen the chatter around her.

Today had been a fairly normal day so far. Except for the numerous speculative looks she'd been receiving from various members of the crew all day. At first she'd thought it was because she'd been in such a vile mood the night before. After all, she didn't normally snap at people so easily. And she hardly ever yelled.

Something had occurred to her, however, a few hours into her shift. She'd realised how the situation must have appeared to Crewmen Kutosov and Percy when they arrived at her quarters last night. She'd been wearing only a silk robe. She'd been wet, with her hair a mess. She'd been very, very irritated. And Chakotay had sat calmly on her couch the entire time.

As soon as she'd thought of it, she'd stopped ignoring the number of eyes on her, and started quelling the looks with a stern, disapproving frown.

The three of them were about halfway through their meal when Chakotay slid into the place next to Janeway. She couldn't help but smile as she greeted him. She hadn't seen him all morning, having missed each other on the bridge as they sometimes did. She couldn't help but feel slightly unsettled as she greeted him, though hopefully she managed to hide it. As he started eating, though, Tom drew him into a conversation about some tactical manoeuvres they'd been trying out on the holodeck the other day, and so at least she didn't have to deal with actually talking to him just yet. To stave off the inevitable, she made a comment to B'Elanna about Seven's latest adjustments to the shields, which immediately prompted a highly technical response from the Chief Engineer.

As she became involved in the discussion, she managed to relax, just a little. When she was speaking of shield resonance frequencies, and fluctuating polarities, it was easy to ignore the fact that he was sitting just a few inches to her right.

Tom and Chakotay stopped talking after a few minutes, though, and Tom soon managed to draw B'Elanna's attention away from her engines with a question about some shuttle modifications he was thinking about.

It was then, while the two lieutenants were focused on each other, that Chakotay turned to her.

"So Captain, how's that experiment coming?"

He'd spoken in such an off hand, nonchalant manner, that it was the last thing anyone expected when she suddenly choked on her mouthful of coffee, only just managing not to spray it over the entire table. Tom and B'Elanna immediately turned to stare, as Chakotay patted her on the back and she coughed and turned bright red in the face. When she'd regained control, she turned to glare at her second in command, who was looking back at her with wide eyed concern. The very face of innocence.

"Are you alright, Captain?" he asked.

She could just make out the hint of a smile on his lips.

"Yes, thankyou. I'm fine," she replied tightly, not shifting the glare.

"What experiment is that, Captain?" B'Elanna asked politely.

Janeway seemed to turn an even brighter shade of red, but managed to say, "It's... just an aspect of... sociology I'm looking into."

At her words, Chakotay laughed out loud, and she looked at him even more threateningly.

Across the table, Tom and B'Elanna shared a look. They'd both heard about what had been going on last night. And if the way their commanding officers were behaving was any indication, there might have been some truth to the rumours. By an unspoken agreement, the two lieutenants rose from their seats as one.

"Oh you know what B'Elanna? We were supposed to meet Vorik in shuttlebay two, remember? We were going to take a look at the plasma injectors on the class two shuttles." Tom said.

"Yes, I just remembered it too... Ah... If you'll excuse us, Captain, Commander..." B'Elanna added as the two of them made a hasty retreat.

There was silence for a few moments. Chakotay turned his attention back to his lunch. She continued to look at him, feeling annoyed at him for a multitude of reasons.

"I'd like to know what you thought you were doing, just then?" she asked quietly, not wanting to draw any more attention to their table.

He kept up his play at innocence. "I was simply wondering how it was going. Wondering if you're handling things? Not too distracted are you? Able to function normally?" he asked in mock seriousness, looking straight ahead and not meeting her eyes.

"I'm handling things just fine!" she hissed at him.

"Really?"

"Yes," she replied testily.

"Well," he said, turning to look at her again, "You know what this means, don't you?"

"What?" she demanded grumpily, too irritated to think about what he might be talking about.

Chakotay leaned towards her, until his shoulder was pressed up against hers, and whispered, "It means that what happened last night wasn't a bad idea at all."

She drew away from him slightly, so she could face him. "Is that so?" she asked, keeping her tone light, now.

"Uh huh," he replied, and the way he looked at her then could only be described as suggestive.

"Commander, do you really think we should be discussing this here?" she asked in her best 'Captain' voice.

It had the desired effect on him. Almost. At least he drew away from her slightly before speaking again.

"Well how about over dinner tonight, in my quarters?"

She pursed her lips. She did want to get him alone again - to speak with him, of course, nothing more.

"Are you cooking?" He nodded. "Alright then. But let's make it my quarters, okay? Say around twenty hundred hours," she didn't bother waiting for a reply, and with a "See you later, Commander," she stood from the table and left him to finish his lunch.

That night...

Dinner was pleasant, as they discussed light, mundane matters for the duration of the meal. They both wanted to put off the real conversation till after they'd eaten. So with the two of them determined to make it so, the dinner Chakotay had prepared and delivered to her door was... pleasant.

Of course, Janeway was still annoyed with him for the stunt he'd pulled at lunch, though she made sure it didn't come across in her demeanour. She couldn't believe he'd said all that with half of alpha shift seated within hearing range. So much for discretion. One thing she was going to make clear when they had tonight's scheduled 'discussion' was that whatever their relationship was, it would remain as private as possible, for as long as possible.

They finished eating with a minimum of fuss, and moved from the table to settle beside each other on the couch. There was a moment of silence as each wondered how to start. And in that moment, the enormity of the situation suddenly struck her. This was it. Last night she'd been too unsettled to deal with this conversation. But there was no escaping it now. She began to panic.

"So..." Chakotay began, not realising what was going on inside her head just then.

She jumped off the couch and moved over to the viewport.

"You know, this isn't going to work," she announced.

"How can you know that?" he countered immediately.

"Because I do. In our situation... I need to be able to trust myself and my actions implicitly."

Out of the corner of her eye, she observed him where he still sat on the couch. He looked... as if he were afraid he might be about to lose everything. The panic dissipated, and she thought of the way she'd felt last night after they'd kissed - the way he'd made her feel.

"But..." she continued, then halted, unsure how to finish.

He looked up with new hope as she turned from the starry backdrop to face him, leaning against the glass.

"But..." he prompted, but still she didn't say anything. He made a suggestion. "But you're willing to at least give it a try?"

A hint of a smile showed itself. "Well, I guess it's like you said. It probably would be worth the effort..."

His eyes lit up as he realised she wasn't joking. He stood and moved over to her.

"Did you mean that?" he asked, his tone slightly incredulous.

She nodded. "Yes," her simple reply came with a heavy out-rush of air. Then she hastily ducked away as he leant down to kiss her. Moving a few steps towards the middle of the room, she spoke again. "But, there are a few conditions. First, you can never call me 'Kathryn' in front of the crew. Second, I want this kept discrete. I want our private lives to be as private as possible. And one more thing. Don't you ever put me one the spot again like you did at lunch today. That wasn't funny."

He smothered a smile before answering. "Deal. No calling you 'Kathryn' in public. No kissing in public. And no making you look silly in public."

She narrowed her eyes at him, but chose to ignore that fact that he was making fun of her. For now. "Sounds like you've got the idea. So..." she added lightly, and moved another couple of steps away from him. "What do we do now?"

He followed after her. "Now we... continue the experiment. With lots of trial and analysis, I'm sure we'll get it right eventually."

She let him get close to her again, and this time when he leaned down she didn't stop him kissing her. She encouraged it. And while the ardour increased between them, she manoeuvred them backwards again until she felt the wall against her back. Just as she'd planned, they'd ended up besides the door to her quarters. Perfect. She smiled wickedly against his lips.

Timing it perfectly, she pushed off from the wall and turned them both around so that their positions were reversed. Except now he was up against the door. The safety protocols were holding, so the door remained shut. She moved her hand surreptitiously over to the key panel to remedy the situation. At the same time, she spoke breathlessly in her ear as he kissed her neck.

"You know, the preliminary results are rather promising. We should definitely proceed with further tests..."

Their mouths met again as she finished overriding the door safeties. She only just managed to keep her feet as suddenly Chakotay stumbled backwards into the corridor. The expression on his face was absolutely priceless.

"Yes, we definitely should proceed with further tests. But maybe some other time, hm?" she said, leaning up against the door frame and trying not to laugh at his bewildered expression. "I think I'm going to go and finish that nice, relaxing bath that was cut short last night. Goodnight, Chakotay. Pleasant dreams."

She just barely managed to stave off laughter until the door had completely closed. Then, she broke into a fit of giggles that lasted for some time. She moved into her bathroom, fully intending to have a bath as she'd just told him.

She wondered if he was still standing out there, with that confused expression on his face... A few more giggles surfaced at that thought. But really, it served him right - thinking he could just embarrass her like that in the middle of the mess hall without any repercussions. He had to learn somehow that she wouldn't let him get away with murder, just because she loved him. Plus, it would most likely ensure their next encounter would be a most... interesting one.

She couldn't wait.

The End

I really love getting feedback. So please, please, please, send any thoughts, comments,
or whatever to s371186@student.uq.edu.au

Hey! How long did it take you to find this story? Wouldn't you have preferred to be notified as soon as it was posted? If so, why not join my mailing list? It's sole function is to inform people of when I add new J/C stories to my page. The sign-up is totally painless, and totally private.

Just go back to Diamond's Voyager Fan Fic Page and click on the button!

Neelix has made leola root casseroles this year.