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It had started normally enough. He'd entered her Ready Room, handed her a padd and sat so they could discuss the report. And they had discussed it. But somehow the topic of conversation had shifted from energy consumption to the nature of their relationship - a precarious subject at the best of times - and now they were standing facing each other only an arms-length apart. She wasn't sure how that had happened either. But there they were, and he was speaking to her. Words that pulled at her heart.

"I love you. More than life itself," he said in an intense whisper and brushed her cheek gently with one hand.

"I know," she replied softly, "I've always known. I love you too."

She smiled up at him as he bent his head towards hers. He ran his hands through her hair as their lips met in an explosion of sensation, and everything except the here and now flew from her mind. The fervour of their embrace increased and she revelled in the loss of control as he lowered her gently back onto her desk. They clung to each other, bodies pressed firmly together, his mouth moving from her lips to her...

"Captain Janeway. It is now oh-six-hundred-hours. Captain Janeway. It is now oh-six-hundred hours."

She snapped awake, jerking into an almost upright position as she was hurled back into the conscious world. A few ragged breaths later, and her head sank back down onto the pillow. She stared, wide eyed, at the ceiling for a few minutes, trying to shake the disorientation she was experiencing. Trying to shake the images the dream had left her with. She licked her lips, which were strangely dry all of a sudden, and finally got up.

Where the hell did that come from? she thought as she made her way rather unsteadily into the bathroom. It had been such a vivid dream. Too vivid. She tried not to think about the way it felt to have him touch her... She shivered involuntarily, then mentally berated herself for doing so. Starfleet captains do NOT shiver, she told herself sternly. Especially not for such a pitiful reason. She attempted to laugh it off. It was only a dream after all, granted it contained some very interesting imagery, but a dream all the same. She wasn't a teenager. She was a Starfleet captain.

That's right, Kathryn, you just keep telling yourself that, she told herself mockingly.

Stripping off her nightgown, she started to step into the shower but changed her mind, moving back into the bedroom and pulling on her exercise clothes instead. She left her quarters and headed for the turbolift at a fast pace, hoping she wouldn't run into anyone before she could jog off some of this nervous energy on the holodeck.

It was pure chance, of course. She'd worked herself vigorously, pushing herself much further and harder than usual, and so she left the holodeck still breathing rapidly, sweaty, and red in the face. It was pure chance that she stepped onto the turbolift to come face to face with the very last person she wanted to see at that moment.

"Good morning, Captain," Chakotay said with a smile.

Suddenly the red in her face had absolutely nothing to do with half an hour's jogging. She was, however, awfully glad for the excuse.

"Morning, Commander," she managed, pleased that her voice sounded normal. "Deck four."

"Been for a run?" he inquired, with a pointed look at her sweaty face and hair.

"How did you guess?" she answered with a wry grin. Then the lift doors opened and she exited with a breezy, "See you on the Bridge, Commander."

Once she was back inside her quarters she collapsed back against the door as it slid shut behind her. She rubbed one hand over her face and shook her head slightly in disbelief. It was a real tribute to her years as a captain that she had made it through that turbolift ride without letting him know that anything was wrong.

Not that anything was, exactly. Just that the entire two minutes she'd stood beside him in the lift, images of him kissing her and holding her had been running rampage through her mind. Knowing him, though, he'd probably picked up on it anyway. Thankfully, he hadn't really had time to address the topic. She thought for a moment, as she stepped away from the door, what that conversation might be like.

"Is there anything wrong Kathryn?"

"Not really, Chakotay. It's just that I was in the middle of an erotic dream about you when my alarm went off this morning, and I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable about it."

Trying not to imagine what he might say in reply, she proceeded with her morning ritual of showering and dressing. She took the time to convince herself that all she needed was to get the dream out of her head, and she would be fine. It would be completely unprofessional to allow a dream to affect either her actions as Captain of Voyager, or her relationship with her first officer.

Focused on the task ahead, she strode out the door, determined to behave according to Starfleet's, and more importantly her own, standards.

Commander Chakotay stared pensively at the stars streaming by on the viewscreen. He had only reached the bridge ten minutes ago; usually this far into his shift he would still be reviewing ship's operations logs and department reports from the previous beta and gamma shifts. Today, however, there had been only a few things to go over, and so he didn't have anything to keep him occupied until the captain arrived.

The captain. He couldn't get past the feeling that something had been amiss when he'd seen her in the turbolift that morning. It was nothing, really. Just an instinct that something hadn't been quite right. He wasn't aware of anything that might be worrying or disturbing her. His mind gave a mental shrug. Maybe he'd been mistaken. But, then again, he thought he knew her better than that.

It was natural for a crew to become attuned to the moods of its commanding officer. Voyager's crew certainly was. And it was even more common, almost expected, that first officers would reach such a level of familiarity with their captains as to be able to read their mood, and anticipate their actions. Chakotay believed he had attained such a standing with Janeway, even gone beyond it. So experiencing the impression that something was wrong with her was enough to inspire further thought. Still, he would wait and see.

It appeared he wouldn't have to wait long. The turbolift doors slid open and Captain Janeway stepped out onto the bridge, the aura of command settled firmly over her like a cloak. She was seldom without it.

"Report," came her usual opening line as she stepped down to take her chair.

The Conn report was given by Tom, followed by Harry at Ops and finally Chakotay himself, filling her in on the few things reported since their last shift. She acknowledged them all, then proceeded to read through the reports and logs for herself anyway, as she always did.

While she was reading, Chakotay took the opportunity to reassess whether or not there was something going on with the captain. After less than a minute observing her from the corner of his eye, he decided there definitely was something on her mind besides the usual concerns of command. For one thing she kept shifting in her seat; something she never did unless feeling uncomfortable about something. As well as that, her eyes flickered away from the terminal screen between them every now and then. Usually she was more focused.

They were only minor things. Things only he would notice. Tuvok might have noticed them as well, but then, Tuvok noticed everything. Minor things, then, that indicated Janeway was bothered about something. He would have to keep alert and see if he could determine what it was. Perhaps she would even tell him herself. Though if it didn't involve ships business there wasn't much chance of it unless he asked her directly, and usually not even then.

As he'd half expected, a few moments after finishing the reports she rose.

"I'll be in my ready room. You have the bridge, Commander," she said, the words coming automatically.

She let out a sigh as she carried her freshly replicated coffee over to her desk. She'd suspected all her finely honed acting skills would be wasted on Chakotay. The few minutes she'd been on the bridge he had spent pretending not to be looking at her, a thoughtful expression on his face the whole time. Whether it was a passing irritation at the Doctor for badgering her about her eating habits, concern over a crew member's lagging performance, or consternation at Tom's latest holoprogram, her first officer always seemed to pick up on it.

The only concession to having him know her so well was that at least she could read him just as easily.

She sighed again. She couldn't seem to distance herself from the dream. No wonder, really, considering the subject matter. You'd think I'd never had a dream like that before, she thought grimly. Though of course the fact that it had been about Chakotay changed matters. Usually she made sure never to let herself think of him in that way. She couldn't afford to. She'd decided long ago she could never pursue a relationship of that kind with him. Even though in the deep recesses of her mind she sometimes admitted that she wished she could.

If wishes were horses... she admonished herself. Getting distracted from her work was exactly what she'd wanted to avoid . Even when things were quiet on Voyager, there were still always a hundred things that needed her attention. Taking a large gulp of coffee, she turned to her computer screen and called up the first item on her agenda.

It was an hour or so after she had left the bridge for her ready room, and she was deeply immersed in her work. She had finally managed to start concentrating and was now making up for her earlier lapse. It was unfortunate, then, that her first officer chose to bring her an engineering update in person, rather than sending in the ensign who'd brought it to the bridge.

"Come," she spoke automatically in response to the chime.

She looked up when he held the padd out to her. That was her first mistake.

"Captain, here's the engineering update. It looks like B'Elanna's got things well under way down there," Chakotay said.

"Uh - thankyou Commander," she stammered and took the padd from him. The stammer was her second mistake.

Her third mistake was when she realised that this was exactly how the dream had started. A brilliant flush spread across her face. Chakotay had been about to go when he noticed how red she was.

"Captain... Kathryn. Is everything alright?"

Her final mistake was letting her eyes meet his. Like as not, Chakotay was her closest friend, and the only person on Voyager who she felt she could confide in. She trusted him. She had grown used to discussing things with him - even personal things - and habits were hard to break. Especially when he looked at her like that.

She turned her head away and relaxed her posture slightly, unconsciously indicating to him that she was willing to talk. He sat across from her and waited for her to begin.

A hint of a smile crossed her lips as she spoke. "Tell me, Chakotay, what do you think about dreams?"

He considered for a moment before answering. "Dreams... Well, as you know the vision quest is a major part of my culture - my people think of it as a kind of conscious dream where we can receive guidance from the spirits. But we also acknowledge the value of normal, everyday dreams. I assume that's what you're referring to?" At her affirmative nod he continued. "We believe dreams and vision quests are both simply a reflection of what we hold inside us. Hidden thoughts and emotions can be allowed to surface in a dream - things we are barely aware of or refuse to acknowledge." He paused for a moment, wondering if that was the answer she'd been looking for. But she only looked thoughtful. What was all this about? And what was with her blushing before? Kathryn Janeway was not usually the blushing type. "Have you had a dream you're worried about Kathryn?" he asked finally, hoping she wouldn't think he was prying.

"I'm not worried," she evaded the question, hoping he didn't notice. "But surely you can't attribute all that to dreams?" she continued, "They're unintelligible more often than not."

"Yes," he conceded, "Dreams can seem rather... frivolous. Henry David Thoreau said 'Dreams are the touchstones of our imagination'. I tend to agree him. We see nothing in our dreams that we didn't put there ourselves. Whether consciously or unconsciously."

At that a slight frown marred her features. After a few moments when she showed no signs of speaking, Chakotay decided to plough ahead.

"Kathryn, are you going to tell me what this is all about?"

She seemed to hesitate in replying. What the hell was wrong with her? She must be worried about a dream she'd had. But why wouldn't she tell him about it? And what could she be dreaming about that would make her act like this? She'd had no qualms discussing the dream she'd had when Voyager had nearly been taken over by... Suddenly it hit him.

"It was a dream about us, wasn't it?" he blurted out, and instantly wished he hadn't.

He felt like kicking himself. She'd been avoiding telling him about it, and forcing her to would only make her mad. But it was too late. Her jaw dropped and she immediately snapped it shut again. Her eyes hardened.

"I beg your pardon?"

He'd stuck his foot in it, and now the only thing for it was to press on. "Your dream. It was about us. That's why your embarrassed and won't tell me about it."

He only just refrained from wincing. You're a real glutton for punishment, he told himself wryly. She would probably throw him out of her ready room after dressing him down like a wet-eared ensign, and never talk to him about anything even slightly personal ever again. And that's if he was lucky. But to his surprise she looked more amused than anything else. Leaning back in her chair, she appeared to evaluate him with her gaze.

"You seem very sure of yourself, Chakotay," she said finally, a half-smile on her lips.

For all that Captain Janeway conveyed a calm, cool exterior; inside she was anything but. Truth be told, she was feeling extremely flustered. Had she really been that obvious? And what would she say if he pressed her on the subject? No matter how embarrassing, she wouldn't lie to him. She respected him too much for that. Still, she would just as soon not have to say anything at all.

But Chakotay knew his captain well. He knew how good an actor she was. The very fact that she hadn't gotten mad served to convince him that he had been correct in his assumption. Now she was going to try and brush past the topic, distract him with some casual flirting, steer him away from the topic and then dismiss him before he knew what was happening. A year ago it would have worked, too.

"I have every reason to be sure of myself, Kathryn," he replied calmly, "I was right, wasn't I?"

The hardness returned to her eyes, and he wondered for a moment whether he was about to receive that dressing-down. But instead she sighed and looked away.

"You know, Chakotay, sometimes I think you're rather too perceptive for your own good."

"Stop evading the question," he said with a smile, hoping to keep the mood light.

It didn't work. So far in the conversation she'd been so busy covering up her embarrassment that she hadn't had time to get annoyed. Now it bubbled to the surface.

"I'm not evading the question. You want an answer? Fine. I had a dream about you. I really don't think I should have to elaborate. It's none of your business, anyway."

He looked slightly incredulous, and more than a bit annoyed.

"None of my business? You were the one who brought it up, Kathryn. You're the one who is getting all worked up about it."

He was right. She was getting worked up. She hated the fact that he could affect her so much. She tried to settle her rising temper, and didn't answer him until she was calm again, or relatively so anyway.

"You're right. I'm sorry, Commander. Perhaps we should just forget the subject came up."

"Oh no, I don't think so. I think we should talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about," she dismissed his suggestion immediately.

"If there was nothing to talk about, you wouldn't have brought it up to start with," he shot back at her. "And if it was just any old dream you'd had, then you wouldn't be so unsettled by it." By this point her eyes were shooting daggers at him. But he ignored them. He was sensing an opportunity in the situation. He was determined to take advantage of it. He spoke again before she had a chance to interrupt. "The very fact that you are so unsettled leads me to think that -"

"Stop right there Commander," she broke in, in her most commanding tone. She'd had enough of this, and she wouldn't put with it any longer. She continued, her voice cold and level. "You are way out of line. I suggest you return to the bridge."

Chakotay merely shook his head. "I'm not out of line, Kathryn, because this isn't about our command relationship. It isn't about Voyager, or the crew, or anything involving the captain or the first officer. This is between you and me."

She didn't want this to get out of hand, so she decided to ignore the fact that what he was bordering on insubordination.

"I told you before. There is nothing to talk about."

He seized upon her words as if he'd been waiting for them.

"Are you saying that our relationship... our friendship... means nothing to you? Does it even exist?" He reached across the desk and grasped her hand, staring at her intently. "Does this -" he twined his fingers with hers "- mean nothing? Is that what you're saying Kathryn?"

She recoiled as if he'd slapped her. She felt slightly sickened by his outburst. When had this conversation gone wrong? How could he think that...? Had she really implied that...? Her thought's were in a turmoil. She stood, feeling bewildered and disturbed.

"No. Of course not. You're very important to me. But don't you see?" she all but whispered, "This is exactly what I've been trying to avoid. Look at us - arguing about our relationship when we are supposed to be commanding this ship. Chakotay... I'm happy with our relationship. You're my friend. The closest friend I have out here. But anything to do with us... moving further in that relationship - it's a distraction. Just like this."

He rose from his chair and moved over to her. She was facing away from him, and he put a hand to her shoulder to turn her around.

"You're right, it is a distraction. But it's a distraction because you let it become one. You're so busy making sure it doesn't happen that it's affecting your behaviour more than our being together ever could." She opened her mouth to speak in protest but he didn't allow her the chance. "You can protest all you want, but you said it yourself. It's a distraction. Now, we can deal with it in one of two ways as I see it. We could ignore it, and hope it will go away; but it's been almost four years since this began, Kathryn. I don't see it happening, do you? Alternatively, we could deal with it. Face it. You're the kind of person who always faces their problems, Kathryn. What makes this situation different?"

She'd been avoiding his eyes the whole time he was speaking, refusing to meet his gaze. But he could see the emotions playing across her face, could see the indecision their - the temptation. He seized the moment, placing his hand at the side of her throat and pulling her to him before she had a chance to move away.

Their lips met. It was as if a dam had broken, and pressures that had been four years building were finally released. It was passionate and wild and gentle all at once. When they finally pulled away from each other, emotion clouding their eyes, they were both breathing rapidly. Still holding onto one another, they stared at each other, both apparently surprised that it had actually happened.

"I... I can't believe we actually waited four years to do that," she said finally, a smile appearing on her lips.

"Don't look at me," he replied lightly, brushing her hair back behind one ear, "I was all for this relationship from the beginning."

She was about to reply, but changed what she intended to say at the last moment.

"This changes everything, though, doesn't it?" she moved away slightly, and he let her, reluctantly.

"Not everything. And it will turn out alright. I know it will. But this is up to you. What do you want to do?"

She looked him straight in the eye, determination written plainly on her features.

"When I find a working solution to a problem, Commander, I stick with it. Don't worry, I won't back down. I can be as stubborn as I have to be."

"I hadn't noticed," he said dryly, and earned himself a chastising look. He wondered for a moment when this had turned into another challenge for her to face, and why it suddenly made him just a tiny bit nervous.

"As for what I want to do... I am going to be captain of this ship, and you are going to be my first officer. And exactly one hour after alpha shift ends, I am going to come to your quarters for dinner."

"That sounds like a good idea, Captain," he replied with a smile.

It was still sinking in that this was actually happening. After four years of knowing her, he was finally getting what he'd always wanted. It was really quite astonishing. What was also astonishing, though it really shouldn't have been, was the way she had embraced the idea fully once she'd made up her mind. But that shouldn't have surprised him at all. Kathryn Janeway never did anything by half. And the more he thought about it, the more right it all seemed. He hoped she was experiencing the same feelings of certainty.

But at any rate, he should be heading back to the bridge, and she would be wanting to return to her work. Reaching out his hand and grasping hers for a moment, they kissed once more, saying much and promising even more.

They parted, he to the bridge, she to her desk, both trying not the smile foolishly, and both failing miserably. And if the way Commander Chakotay kept looking over at the ready room door and smiling some more was noticed by anyone, those people studiously held their tongues. Though, for the most part, most of them couldn't keep the smiles from their own faces as well.

THE END

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