This is yet another 'song story', and yet another 'they get home story' too. The plot just seemed to flow from the lyrics. Sap factor ten. You have been warned!

Disclaimer: The Star Trek universe and all therein belongs to Paramount, not me. No infringement of Copyright is intended. 'Throw Your Arms Around Me' belongs to Hunters & Collectors. Just borrowing it, guys, m'kay?

*****
~ Chakotay ~

"Did you say what I think you just said, Harry?" I asked, my voice surprisingly calm and level, all things considered.

"Yes Sir!" he replied, not bothering to mask his own elation.

There was a moment of silence before I spoke again.

"I'll get the Captain."

*****

I will come for you at night time
And I will raise you from your sleep
I will kiss you in four places
As I go running up your stream

*****
~ Janeway ~

God I'll never forget that night. I was woken from a deep sleep by the sound of my name, and the feel of a hand on my shoulder.

"Kathryn," his voice was just so unbelievably urgent, that I was awake in an instant.

I sat straight up in bed, and registered the fact that he was sitting next to me, and that he was still touching me, even as I spoke. "Chakotay? What is it?"

He didn't reply. He kissed me. Just cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. First my mouth, then both my eyes, and then just a whisper of his lips against my temple. I was so shocked I didn't have time to pull away, or protest, or kiss him back...

But then he returned his hands to my shoulders and looked at me with an expression of... so many things. I can see it so clearly in my mind, even now.

"You need to come to the bridge," he said.

*****

And I will squeeze the life out of you
And you will make me laugh and make me cry
And we may never forget it...

*****
~ Chakotay ~

"...cleared of all charges...free to go..."

Those two phrases were really the only words I heard. Then suddenly I was outside in the sunshine, surrounded by what felt like thousands of bodies. The noise was incredible. People were hugging me, but I was in a daze, and I hardly knew what was happening.

Then suddenly she was in front of me. The sight of her put everything into place. We just stared at each other for a moment or two while around us the chaos continued unabated. She had tears running down her face, and though I couldn't hear it, I could tell she was sniffling. She was more beautiful than I'd ever seen her. At that moment, she was - though I'd thought it before, and knowing me I would think it again. The notion made me laugh, and she smiled in return.

Then something snapped, and she was in my arms in an instance. Her arms were around my neck, and I lifted her off her feet as I held her so tightly it occurred to me later that I must have been hurting her. But her face was buried in the hollow of my throat, and my own was resting against her hair, and we just stood there. Around us, the crew of Voyager celebrated with loud, joyful voices, and we just stood there in the middle of them all, hanging onto each other for dear life.

*****

You will make me call your name
And I will shout it to the blue summer sky

****
~ Chakotay ~

"She's out in her tree," her mother told me, and gestured vaguely with one hand, "It's over that way."

She gave me a knowing smile as I thanked her, and I could tell she watched me go as I started off 'that way' in search of her daughter. I knew about this tree, of course. After living in close quarters with people for six years, you learned a lot about them - like the tree that they spent hours in as a child. So I knew about it, but I'd certainly never seen it.

It wasn't hard to spot - it was the only tree in the middle of a large field of corn. It rose tall and green from its flat, uniform surroundings, and when I finally reached it, I realised the foliage was so thick I couldn't see her anywhere. I'd realised by then that when her mother said 'she's in her tree', she really meant she was in it - not just visiting.

I stood looking up at the tree for a while, hoping that if she was up there at all, that she would say something. After a few more moments of silence, I sighed. "Kathryn," I called. Then, after further silence, "Kathryn!" a little louder than before. Still nothing. I cupped my hands around my mouth, and this time it was a yell, "Kathryn!" And then I began to feel really stupid, standing alone in a field, hollering at a tree.

I stopped shouting, and instead walked in closer to the trunk, making a circuit around it and looking more carefully than I had before. It took me a while to spot her reclined against the trunk about six or seven metres up. She had her arms crossed over one knee, with her other leg dangling off the wide branch she was perched on. And she was grinning down at me.

"It took you long enough," she called down to me.

I just glared up at her.

"Well, are you coming up?" she asked, as if wondering why I hadn't started climbing already. But then, she was always like that.

"Why don't you come down here?" I called back.

*****

And we may never meet again
So shed your skin and lets get started
And you may throw your arms around me

*****
~ Janeway ~

He took my hands when I reached the ground. I almost sighed at the contact. It had been so long since I'd last seen him. Well, it had really only been two weeks since the debriefings had finally come to an end, but it seemed like a lifetime.

We smiled at each other for a moment, and I wondered whether I should kiss him. I think I wanted to, but he spoke before I had a chance to make the decision.

"Starfleet's sending me on a mission."

It didn't take him long to explain - there wasn't all that much he was allowed to tell me anyway. It was just such a shock. The entire crew had been granted a month's leave to spend with our families, which was to be followed by light duty only for a time - to be spent working with scientists to pull apart every scrap of data we'd brought back with us. Not me, of course, I knew all too well that I'd be sitting in front of a review board for weeks - months even. And I'd just assumed that Chakotay would be there with me for most of it.

He tried to make it sound less dangerous than it was - but I'm not stupid, and I'm far less naive than I was before being thrown into the delta quadrant. He rationalised it as being a way for Starfleet to maintain it's control over him - he thought they wanted to put him in a situation where it wouldn't really matter if he turned out to be less than completely loyal. In other words, a suicide mission.

As he spoke, it seemed as if he were pulling further and further away from me. It took me a while to figure out it was actually me who was moving. I don't remember dropping his hands, but suddenly I found myself a few steps away from him, with my arms wrapped around my middle as if to ward off a chill.

"When do you leave?" I asked as soon as he stopped talking.

He looked away in a gesture I knew well. "Tomorrow. They didn't want me to come here... But I couldn't leave without seeing you." He made as if to take a step towards me, but something stopped him. "I had to say goodbye, and tell you what was happening. But I also wanted to... It's just been such a long time since we talked - even during the debriefing we barely had any time together at all. I thought we should... I think we need to talk," he finished.

I didn't bother trying to pretend I didn't know what he meant. I knew he was right. It was a subject we'd been avoiding for a ridiculously long time. And it was all there on his face, as he waited for me to say something.

But the truth was I really didn't have anything to say. All I could think of was that he was leaving the next day, and that we might never see each other again. I took two steps and threw my arms around him. I held him for a long time.

Then I took him back to my mothers house to meet my family.

*****

Well I came for you at night time
And I watched you in your sleep
Oh I left you in high places
I kissed your head and kissed your feet

*****
~ Chakotay ~

I couldn't sleep. The sound of the old house settling around me was oddly comforting, and the room was peaceful and cool - there was a breeze blowing the curtains at the open window. So it was my thoughts that kept me awake.

I was in Kathryn's house - her mother's, actually. I hadn't intended to stay at all, but when confronted by three Janeway women I had little chance of holding my own. Kathryn's sister had beamed over just to meet me, the four of us had dinner together, then they bullied me into having my things transported over so I could stay for breakfast in the morning and go directly from there to my transport ship.

I hadn't had a chance to talk to Kathryn. She seemed to be avoiding it, actually, which shouldn't have been surprising. I guess I thought that now, here, at that time and place in our lives, she might at last be willing to face 'us'.

Right in the middle of some dark thoughts - mostly pertaining to the mission ahead - I heard the floorboards creaking in the hall outside my door. I don't know why, but when the door to my room opened, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I knew it was her - I suppose I just wanted to see what she would do.

She tiptoed over to me, and when she reached the side of the bed, she stopped. She was barely making a sound - just standing there. It was perhaps two minutes of listening to her breath later, that finally I felt her weight on the mattress as she sat beside me. Then there was there was a ghost of a touch against my cheek as she ran the fingertips of one hand down my face.

I opened my eyes slowly, and the moonlight coming in at the window was enough to see her looking at me with a solemn expression.

"I knew you were awake," she said softly with just a hint of a smile.

I didn't deny it, just reached up and took hold of the hand that was still resting against my jaw.

"I couldn't sleep either," she continued, "And I could hear you tossing and turning over here. The walls in this house are even thinner than the ones on Voyager. Caused me no amount of trouble when I was a teenager."

"I can imagine," I grinned, speaking for the first time. "So may I ask what has prompted this visit?"

She looked down at our entwined fingers, just visible in the darkness. "You wanted to talk. I didn't have anything to say before, but I think I do, now."

I didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue in her own time, as I always had. Finally she raised her head to give me the steady look I knew so well.

"I won't apologise about our time on Voyager, Chakotay. I did what I had to do, and I did it the only way I knew how. Who knows what would have happened if we'd been out there much longer... But it doesn't matter, because we're back now."

She stopped then and looked at me, as if daring me to dispute the fact. I still wasn't sure where this was going, so I merely nodded, and she took that as a cue to keep talking.

"I didn't expect us to be... separated so soon, though I knew we would be eventually. But I... thought we'd at least have more time..."

She was speaking so softly, and the words were coming out as if they were painful to say. I squeezed her hand gently, lending her what strength I could. She smiled at me, yet at the same time I could see her eyes glistening with unshed tears through the shadows.

"This is just like all those times when I had to send you into danger, when I had no control over the situation, and all I could do was appeal to whatever higher being was listening that you would come back safely. You almost made a spiritual person out of me, Chakotay." I could hear her grinning, but her voice quickly became sombre again.

"Do you know what the worst thing about those situations was?" It was a rhetorical question, but I knew the answer anyway, I knew it all too well. "All those times when it might have been the last time I ever saw you... And I never got to say goodbye the way I wanted to - never got to say the things I wanted to say to you. Because you might have come back. Isn't that awful, Chakotay? I couldn't tell you how I felt because you might not have died and then I would have had to deal with it. Why don't you hate me, Chakotay? I'm not entirely sure I don't hate myself..."

There was nothing else for me to do then, but sit up and encircle her in my arms. She didn't resist, laying her head on my shoulder with a sigh. "I don't hate you, Kathryn," I told her, "I could never hate you. Our situation was so... Well, you know as well as I do what it was. We both dealt with the situation the best we could." I stroked her back as I spoke, revelling in this closeness - something we'd never shared on Voyager. "But none of that matters now. You said it yourself - we're back now. What's done is done and there's no point in dwelling on the past. What does matter is that we're here now. Why don't you..." I hesitated, then ploughed on before I lost my nerve, "Why don't you tell me now, what you never could then?"

She drew back from me then and regarded me silently for a few moments. When she spoke, she said something entirely unexpected.

"Why don't I show you, instead?" she said, and kissed me.

The moment was so similar to that night an eternity ago on Voyager, when I kissed her for the first time, that at the time I thought she must have intended it that way. That didn't stop me from reciprocating, however...

However, when she began to push me back onto the pillows, and her kisses became more insistent, there was at least a tiny part of my self control left - enough for me to pull away slightly.

"Wait, Kathryn... Is this a good idea? Don't you think we should talk about this?"

She placed her fingers over my mouth in a way that drove me crazy. "Shh, Chakotay. We only have this night, and I'm saying goodbye to you. Whatever else we have to say can wait until you get back."

Then she kissed me again, and the last of my self control was discarded. I wanted her as much then as I ever had in the past. And if it was the only way she would let me tell her I loved her... Well, I could certainly think of worse ways...

*****

Now if you disappear out of you
You know that I will never say goodbye
And though I'll try to forget it...

*****
~ Janeway ~

He left in the morning. I went for a walk after he'd gone, and found myself back at my tree. I didn't climb it, just walked in a circle around the wide trunk, running my hand over the bark. My mind was a boiling mass of thoughts. I thought of everything that had happened since we returned. I thought about Voyager, and tried to put the whole experience in perspective - not the easiest thing to do, I can assure you. I thought about Chakotay, and the previous night - our first night together. In fact I thought about anything I could to keep my mind off one thought - that he might not come back.

I couldn't think about it. At least, I tried not to. But as it always happens, the more I tried not to think about it, the more I did.

Throughout the mental turmoil and denial, I did at least manage to sort a few things out. The main thing was that I realised, or rather acknowledged what I knew all along, that if something happened to Chakotay, then that was it. I survived losing Justin, and then Mark, but Chakotay would make it three strikes. Too much.

I didn't think I'd have a breakdown - the Delta Quadrant had toughened me, I knew that for a fact. No, instead I'd work and work, do anything, until I convinced Starfleet to give me another commission. Then I'd take my ship, go to warp nine and not look back.

And I'd make sure I never had to say goodbye to anyone ever again.

*****

You will make me call your name
And I will shout it to the blue summer sky...
And we may never meet again
So shed your skin and lets get started
And you will throw your arms around me

*****
~ Janeway ~ (three months later)

I was sitting at my desk, reading reports, when I got the message. It's funny how some tasks are exactly the same, no matter what part of the galaxy you're in. One hand was propping up my chin, the other was delivering regular doses of black coffee to my mouth.

My assistant's voice came over the comm system. "Captain? There's a personal call for you from B'Elanna Torres? Shall I put it through?"

I immediately sat up straighter. "Yes, Terry, I'll take it."

A few seconds later, my former chief engineer's face appeared on my comm screen. She smiled when she saw me, and I automatically smiled back. It was always good to hear from my crew - they were still 'my crew' of course, and probably always would be.

"Hello Captain."

"B'Elanna, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, we're both fine, actually," she replied, referring to Tom as well. The two had been living together for a year before Voyager made it back, and reaching Earth hadn't altered their relationship in any way that mattered.

Suddenly Tom appeared on the monitor at her side, the two of them squashing together so they'd fit in the picture. "Hey Captain!" he greeted me cheerfully.

"Hello Tom, destroyed any shuttles lately?"

"Actually, the other day," he began, but B'Elanna cut him off.

"Oh, don't get him started, Captain. We'll never shut him up. Besides, we do actually have a reason to be calling you."

"Oh? I hope it's good, whatever it is."

"It's a party invitation, actually," Tom said, "And a party is always good news."

"Yes, it's been a while since the whole crew has been together, and now that Chakotay's back, Tom and I thought we'd throw a reunion celebration... Captain?"

My brain did a complete double take, and I'm sure that I must have gone white as a ghost.

"Captain, are you alright?"

"He's back? Chakotay's back??" I asked in a tone that was about as damn near a squeak as I've ever come in my life.

The couple on the screen exchanged a look. "We assumed you knew. He arrived yesterday. He's been in debriefing, and no one's seen him, but it's no secret that he's back."

I simply gaped at them as I processed the information. How could I not have been informed? Why hadn't he at least sent me a message? Why was I just sitting there?

A few seconds later I had regained at least some semblance at composure. Enough to see the grins Tom and B'Elanna were trying valiantly to hide. I opened my mouth to make an excuse, but they beat me to it.

"Ah, why don't we get back to you, Captain? We can discuss the party anytime," B'Elanna offered.

I sent them a thankful smile, and quickly ended the transmission. Then I jumped to my feet, my temper rising with every step I took away from my desk.

I stormed through the door leading out of my office into the lab/work area where my team was making a pretence at being hard at work. They all jumped when I appeared so suddenly, and they all shrank slightly into their seats once they saw the look on my face. I was incredibly irritated, and didn't really care if I scared the pants off them. I glared at them all, looking for someone to blame. I latched onto Terry.

"Terry! Stop chatting and get over here." He was back behind his desk in no time. I gave the other officers firm looks until they were all attending to their own work. I lowered my voice and addressed my aide. "Commander Chakotay arrived back at Headquarters yesterday. I need to know where he is, what he's doing, and how long he's going to be doing it for. And I need to know it five minutes ago."

"Yes Ma'am," came the prompt reply.

"This is a private matter, Lieutenant. It goes no further, understood?"

"Of course!" he managed to sound indignant.

I didn't blame him - he was a good, trustworthy officer. And I would apologise. Some other time. Right then I simply nodded and returned to my office where I proceeded to pace and seethe until Terry entered with the information I needed.

"Indiana?! What is he doing..." it probably took longer than it should have for me to figure out where he was, but I was in a very unsteady frame of mind. But what on Earth was he doing at my mother's house? I put my hands on my hips, looked at the ceiling and muttered a few expletives that had Terry's eyebrows up in his hairline. But there was nothing for it, really. "Terry, I'm going to my mother's for the rest of the day. I'll most likely be back tomorrow."

He opened his mouth to speak, but whatever he was going to say, I never found out. I was already out the door.

When I materialised on the front lawn of my childhood home, I was moving as soon as I could feel the grass beneath my feet. I burst through the front door and made my way into the kitchen where I confronted my mother with my hands on my hips.

"Where is he?" I demanded.

"Hello, Kathryn. So nice of you to visit. Did you come for lunch?"

"Mother!"

She opened her mouth, and for a moment I thought she was going to admonish me in a sharp tone about my manners, like she did when I was thirteen and obnoxious. But instead she closed her mouth, then sighed and shook her head.

"He went for a walk. I think he's gone to find your tree again," she told me, and then put a hand on my arm to stay me when I would have been out the backdoor already. "Don't be angry with him, Kathryn. He's had a hard time, I can tell."

That made me hesitate. Yes, she would know. Phoebe and I were sheltered from such things when we were growing up, but I know my father went through his share of difficult missions. But she needn't have worried. It had been three months since he left. My anger was for the not knowing - not being in control of the situation. All I really wanted was to see him again. I placed a hand over hers, and smiled. "I won't," I assured her.

And then I really was out the back door. I forced myself not to run. I wasn't going to run a kilometre in the Indiana heat for anyone. It was a fast walk, however, and soon I reached the tree and was stepping within the familiar circle of its shade.

I didn't see him straight away - he must have climbed it as I did on that day he came looking for me three months ago - but then there he was. He was asleep, stretched out on one of the broad, lower branches with his back resting against the trunk. He looked so peaceful I just looked at him for a moment - drinking in the image of the man I'd been missing for so long.

"Chakotay!" I didn't want to startle him and cause him to fall, so I only called his name softly.

He was smiling before his eyes opened. "Took you long enough," he said as he looked down at me.

Suddenly my face crumpled and my eyes filled with tears which I rapidly blinked away. It was just the relief of having him safe again, I know. I'd had a constant knot of fear in my stomach all that time, and then hearing his voice seemed to open a floodgate.

He swung down immediately and approached me, his face full of concern. When he was just a step away, he stopped. "Kathryn?"

It was ridiculous - he'd just returned from a harrowing mission, and he was the one worried about me. I swallowed heavily, and took a deep breath to calm myself. I managed a smile. "I didn't know you were back," I blurted out. "I only found out a little over an hour ago."

He looked confused. "I sent a message to you as soon as I got to San Francisco! There must have been a mix up - it was a verbal message, after all."

"That doesn't matter," I told him with conviction. And it didn't. What before had been enough to make me snap at my entire staff, one transport operator, and my own mother, now wasn't even significant enough to warrant discussion. There were far more important things to talk about. Like 'us'.

I think I was finally ready to make a few things clear to him, and to myself. On Voyager I'd ignored it all - pushing it to the back of my mind. Then, when we'd first made it back, I was willing to consider it, even act on it as I had the night before he left. It was safe, because he was leaving. Cowardly, I know.

But now I was feeling brave.

Actually, I was also feeling a little shy. It had been three months, after all. Before that I hadn't been separated from him for more than a few days at a time for the past six years. Acting through my shyness, and reacting to the way he was looking at me, I reached out and took his hand and held it in both of mine.

"Sleeping with you like that was fairly selfish of me," I began and then snapped my mouth shut.

That was not what I meant to say. Chakotay seemed to know this, and was regarding me with that amused expression that always irritated me. It was his 'oh, look, isn't she adorable' face. After reminding myself rather firmly of what I was trying to achieve, I tried again.

"That didn't really come out right. What I meant to say was that I could have handled the situation a little better. I was... just afraid to tell you how I felt. Another of my fail-safes. In case you... didn't come back." I couldn't look at him while I was saying these things. I stared down at his large hand in mine, stroking it absently, tracing the line of his thumb. "But while you were gone I had a lot of time to think.

"There's always going to be another mission, Chakotay. Another dangerous situation to face - for both of us. One more chance that you won't come back to me. Maybe that was enough of a reason not to become involved in the delta quadrant. But I can't pretend it still is, now. So," I took a deep breath and steeled myself, "I'm going to say this now, before I lose my nerve. I love you. I love you, and I want to be with you." Finally I worked up the courage to look up at his face again. "That is, if you want to be with me."

He was watching me calmly. "So... You've decided that we should make the most of every moment we have together?"

I nodded, and he pulled me a little closer with the hand I was holding onto. With his other, he reached up and caressed my cheek.

"That sounds like a good idea," he said as his fingers began to run through my hair.

I'd been growing it out and it was now touching my shoulders. Though I wouldn't admit it, I was letting it grow for him, because I knew he liked my hair. And now his slight touches were sending shivers down my spine, and making my fingertips tingle. I was suddenly extremely aware of how glad I was he was back.

He must have seen it on my face, because he asked me, "What is it?"

I was close to tears again. I fought them, but it was no use. I'd been holding them in for too long. "I... God, Chakotay I missed you" I got out. And with that I threw my arms around his neck, and let my tears fall against his neck.

His arms were around me in an instant, and he cradled me against him so tenderly it only made things worse. "Shh," he soothed, in his beautiful, mellow voice, "I'm here, Kathryn. I love you, too, and I'm not going anywhere."

That did it. The dam broke, and I cried harder than I had in years. And he simply stood there and took it all. And I felt safe in the giving. I felt safer than I had in years - with his arms around me, and mine around him. For that moment, and perhaps for the future too, it was all either of us needed.

*****

Yes, you will throw your arms around me...

*****

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Chakotay has almost confessed his undying love for Janeway times.

THROW YOUR ARMS AROUND ME
-- Hunters & Collectors

I will come for you at night time
And I will raise you from your sleep
I will kiss you in four places
As I go running up your stream
And I will squeeze the life out of you
And you will make me laugh and make me cry
And we may never forget it...
You will make me call your name
And I will shout it to the blue summer sky

And we may never meet again
So shed your skin and lets get started
And you may throw your arms around me
Yeah, you may throw your arms around me

Well I came for you at night time
And I watched you in your sleep
Oh I left you in high places
I kissed your head and kissed your feet
Now if you disappear out of you
You know that I will never say goodbye
And though I try to forget it...
You will make me call your name
And I will shout it to the blue summer sky...

And we may never meet again
So shed your skin and lets get started
And you will throw your arms around me

And we may never meet again
So shed your skin and lets get started
And you will throw your arms around me

and you will throw your arms around me
(repeat...)

Well I came to you at night time
And I watched you in your sleep
Oh I kissed you in four places
I kissed your head and kissed your feet

yes you will throw your arms around me
yes you will throw your arms around me...