Parodies written
by David Brager.
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All Material © David I. Brager
Ownership to the anti-Bush parodies were given to ACT on 3 September
2004.
May God Bless our American Pride.
(Sung to the tune of "You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille")
In a hole in the desert, outside Al Fallujah
I last saw a friend by my side
He called out to mama,
here in the darkness,
Held my hand softly, and died.
Alone with his body,
I cried for a while,
Then wiped the sand out of my tears,
I pray for my children,
and hope that I see them
And that this war ends so they never come here.
Night heat, in the eighties,
We crossed the Euphrates
And made our advance towards Bagdad
Without any slumber,
We marched in large numbers,
Not knowing what the enemy had.
We heard they took Bahtra
On the outskirts of Bagdad
The news really gave us a thrill
But the cheer never lasted,
Because we got blasted
Two more of my comrades were killed.
CHORUS:
Another mission so far from our homes.
America's finest, together, alone.
Please keep sending letters
Don't ever forget us
We need to know you're still by our side.
May God Bless our American Pride.
Mission Accomplished, the President said it
But, Brother, it doesn't seem fair.
Iraqi's aren't happy, their poor just aren't healthy,
There's tension so thick in the air.
I know there's a reason,
I'm here Christmas season,
I'm doing all that I can do.
Please give love and trust us,
Please never disown us
As Veterans of Foreign Wars fighting for you.
CHORUS:
© 2003 David I. Brager
Notice: If this is ever recorded and sold, all income from words
as lyricist have been deeded to a 50/50 split between the Disabled
American Vets (through DAV.org) and
the Veterans of Foreign Wars (through VFW.org)
In America
(sung to the tune of "Any man of Mine" by Shania Twain)
(NOTE: * stands for one/quarter beat breath)
In America, we can be so proud,
We've the freedom to speak just a little more loud
(and) In America, we've a lot to say
On our in-Dependence day
In America we may have some stress
After World War Two, * there was a big mess
So our government lent our money away
Now it's in-Flation today
{Chorus:}
No matter what I see
Don't ever tread on me
And as we always say
Hey! Hey! Hey, Stay out of our way....ay...ay
In America
We've got a lot to love
With the blessings of our father from above
Whatever side you choose,
Be sure to spread the news
That the best - place to live - to achieve - what your
heart - might say...ay...ay
(is) In America
In America, we've a lot to feed
Cause our poverty is greater than the foreign need
(and) In America, it's the farmers' strife
Without them, we'd have no life.
In America, it's in God we pray
And we're never gonna give a damn for Tim McVeigh
(and) In America, stick together we must,
For in freedom that we trust.
(chorus)
© 1997 David Brager (from a rewrite
of a piece I wrote in 1996)
What a wonderful
war
(sung to "What a wonderful world.")
I see flashes of bombs, B-1's in flight,
Anti-aircraft tracers, all through the night
and I think to myself, what a wonderful war.
I see a new draft emerging, People with signs
War ration needy standing in lines
and I think to myself, what a wonderful war
The colors of the wounded, the reds and the greens
The sounds of rushing waters from field latrines
Mortar round screaming out as they pass through the sky
What goes up must come down, but we never ask why.
Haliburton and George Bush, working hand in hand,
Pumping out oil from Iraqi sand,
And I think to myself, what a wonderful war.
As George Orwell can see, it's Nineteen Eighty-Four.
© 2003, 2007 David I. Brager
The Ballad of Joe Momma
sung to the tune of “Ghost Riders in the Sky.”
The street was fairly empty when the bus stopped for the train,
The driver, to fulfill the law, opened the door again.
And as the crossroad signals blared, the barricades came down.
And that was when a man got off, and staggered into town.
His stature was five feet or so, his fingernails clean.
The shirt was rather dirty; He was much more stout than lean.
And as he looked into the sky, he saw a raindrop fall.
He said, "I think its raining." From then he knew his call.
CHORUS:
Doin' his job,
best as he can
Joe Momma, The Weatherman
Twenty thousand weathermen had left the job before
But the boss has patience for another thousand more
'Tis then that Joe walked in the station from the parking lot.
He said, "I think its raining." He was hired on the spot.
They sat him in an office with a microphone and chair.
They told him in one minute they would put him on the air.
The light began to flash, and as the microphone came down.
He said, "I think its raining." It was broadcast to the town.
CHORUS:
The boss walked to the window to behold the wondrous day.
A flash flood hit the city; washed the station site away.
And as Joe Momma drifted down and floated out of sight,
The city sank in awe, the weatherman was right.
CHORUS:
CHORUS (repeat):
© 1990/2002 David Brager
Blue Ribbon Winner at Benton-Franklin Country Fair 1990
Published in Writer’s Workshop Review 1994.
Photo Depot Radio Ad (circa mid-1980's)
Sung to the tune of "Chattanooga Choo Choo"
If you hadn’t time to wait for pictures to develop
Well, if you hadn’t a year
Now Photo Depot is here
If you want the choice of size and paper for your pictures
Well, if you hadn’t a clue
Now Photo Depot’s for you
We do Color Disk and one-ten up to one-thirty-five
and three-by-fives to five-by-sevens just isn’t jive
color in an hour
can you feel the power
wouldn’t you know
It’s Photo Depot
It’s all up to you
We do it all in just an hour (Yes Yes)
So when you’re ready to go
Stop in at Photo Depot
Stop in at Photo Depot
Stop in at Photo Depot