| Oh my God! Today is September 29, 2003 I went to my first class at church about being an Episcopalian and Christianity. It was interesting. It was basically a history of Christianity in general and then a history of the Episcopal church. I'm going to take a few more over the next month or two. A journey to the dark side shall we say? Or the light perhaps? Take your pick. Birthdays! Birthdays! Everywhere! I have decided to put up my email address on this site because it will no longer be my general email, but only the one for this site. "Why, David?" you all ask. Well, because I said so, little ones. Well, it's been a short journal entry month this time. I suppose that's okay, it shows that I don't spend all my time here. Though I don't think that is a bad thing. Everyone have a good week this week and do well in your classes and everything. *vomit* Oh my God! Today is September 25, 2003 I would like to send out some mojo to my brother. My brother was born with a heart condition called Pro-Longed QT syndrome. This syndrome is an "abnormality in electrical activity that leads to irregulaties in heart muscle contraction", and is something my brother had to get an artificial pacemaker for. My mother just called me and now he has a new problem with his heart. It's called Atrial Fibrillation, and is pretty much something where the heart does not beat right and the blood can clot and all sorts of other bad things. Combined with the other heart condition this doesn't make things good. To make things worse, the medication they would give him for his Atrial Fibrillation would interfere with the medication he already takes for his Pro-Longed QT syndrome, so they'll have to try alternative methods. Whatever that means. Now that I've described it, this entry is basically to say that I love my brother and I don't want anything bad to happen to him. And though I don't think he comes to this site often, if you're reading this, Bobby, I know that you'll be okay. Anyway, just wanted to say that. Oh my God! Today is September 22, 2003 I think it is officially autumn now, I'm not sure. But if it is, thank the Lord. I didn't enjoy summer this year, I think it was because it was hot, eh? Canadian? I recently went on a an astounding journey. A journey with unprecedented life changes that burned deep within my soul. A journey that not only I went on, but included a friend of mine, Andrew Buck. The terrors we saw shocked us, but afterwards we went away changed men. What we saw would cause a mother to cringe and a lion to run. We cleaned out the gunk that was causing Andrew's shower drain to stop-up. It was horrifying. I opened up the drain by unscrewing the drain-stop, and Andrew picked out the yuckiness. What he pulled out of there I wish upon no other human to see. At first, I thought we were pulling out a small kitten, but to my disgusted surprise, it was not. As I heard Andrew plop it on the floor of the tub, and I looked at it, I almost hurled. And I'm not kidding. Other objects, such as pieces of wood (WTF!) were pulled out as well. I began to think that he would soon be pulling out an entire tree, but thankfully, it was not to be. Thus ended our journey. Did I learn anything? Yes. Never try to stuff a tree down the drain. Oh my God! Today is September 18, 2003 My good friend Michael Watson is coming down right at this moment and should be here within the hour. I miss Sarah Squire and him, though my new roommates are cool. I called my mother last night and I know she is lonely. All my dad does is work and she's at home during the night by herself. I'm glad I got to talk with her. I miss my parents very much and I wish they would come home. Oh, the irony. Anyway! I would like to send some mojo out to my friends. Tonight several people I know are performing in a Broadway Revue. I know they will do stupendously. *pushing up glasses* There will also be more philosophical and religious propaganda coming soon in The Journal of Destiny...so stay tuned. Oh my God! Today is September 14, 2003 I just saw a deodorant today that had the weirdest name. It was called, "Dry Idea". Now, I don't know about anyone else, but the "idea" of being dry seems contrary to the point don't you think? Why have the "idea" of being dry when you can have the total outcome? They might as well make up a deodorant that's called, "Thinking About Being Dry" or maybe "The Essence of Being Dry" or "Tap into your Inner Mentality to Drive the Stinky Away Dry". I put some new things up on the "Do" page. Oh my God! Today is September 11, 2003 I recently picked up the phone, turned it on and just left it like that. I waited for "her" to come on and tell me to hang up or dial the operator and then I waited for that annoying little alarm that lets you know the phone is off the hook. Everytime I hear those things, it evokes a sort of loneliness in me that is unexplainable yet so real. I think to myself, "There's gotta be a meaning to this," but then it quickly fades as I switch the phone to off; and then it haunts me. Perhaps it is the fact that no one can call when it is off the hook. And the possibility of the phone being off the hook forever. And then no one calling ever again. It is so surreal sitting in a quiet room when it is dark outside and just listening to "her" and then listening to that annoying alarm. I hate loneliness, and that little alarm just begs the notion that no one is there to put the phone in it's rightful place or turn it off so that it may ring again; so that some sort of life can be brought back into a room. With a freakin' phone. It also brings up the fact that we rely so much on this tiny technological device to communicate with others. A device we use sometimes to alleviate that loneliness. One that connects us with so many other people. With that the way it is, it may be impossible to think that someone could ever get lonely at all. I recently watched the movie, Requiem for a Dream. I loved it; thought it was a work of art. But I could never watch it again. Why? There's no hope. And though it makes you think, the end of the movie leaves you empty, and feeling lonely. I had an urge to call my grandfather or my mom and dad afterwards. I wanted to tell them how much I loved them and that I wish I could see them. I didn't though. Because I had hope that they would be there. I think true loneliness comes when there is no hope. An emptiness that stabs you like a knife. I hate it, and would never want anybody to experience it. It is a horrible feeling, and one I wish I could correct among all the lonely people in the world. But, personally, I have hope. A hope that is grounded and really isn't hope at all, but a realization that if I need someone, all I have to do is ask. That's why I turned the phone off. Not because I was waiting for a call, mind you. But because I know someone will, at some point, call me. Oh my God! Today is September 6, 2003 I went to a party last nighty, and it was goody. In fact I really enjoyed myself. We played some drinking games, but of course I didn't drink very much or very hard stuff. But I still had fun. Joshua Taylor gave me a tarot card reading and it was interesting. I've always been skeptical and objective about things like that, but the reading was so incredibly accurate perhaps I should start studying it. By studying I mean learn a little more about it so I can understand it more. "Blasphemous Christian!" No, I don't think so. It was actually incredibly uplifting and made me feel very good about myself. Perhaps that's what they're designed for, but considering the reading was dead-on, and two other readings were performed and they were dead-on as well, it makes me think. And everyone knows I like to think. Perhaps there will be more on this later. At the moment I'm going to go to Wal-Mart and then maybe go out to eat. Oh my God! Today is September 4, 2003 I just finished destroying my alarm-clock. It did not go off, again, and therefore I missed another day of choir. Well, last time I missed half of choir. The clock is laying in my floor, seeming to call to me. Asking me, "Why?" and at the same time snickering because it did not do it's duty. It's death will make me happy and I will replace it with a more reliable inanimate object. I liked this clock, and the only unreliable thing about it was the fact that it had a terrible alarm setting system. You know, it sort of erks me that I put so much of my faith into this one little thing that is suppose to start my day. And now it has betrayed me. Another of life's technological ironies it seems. Just looked at the opera that I'm in. It sucks and really makes no sense. There's weeping, there's wailing, there's lovey dovey scenes, and of course, there's death. My character dies. Does he get a death scene? No, it just sort of happens. Ugh. I am so angry and frustrated and confused right now. These past two weeks have sucked royally and I'm starting to wonder if it is some sort of omen. I mean, the school year has just started and already things are not going well. What the fuck... Oh my God! Today is September 2, 2003 Thus ends the era of "Hey, today is...", and thus a new era begins. I just want to say that I'm so stupid. I am stupid with cherries on top and poopy in the middle. Why? Because I am. My motivation was misplaced and I stayed up all night composing. Thus, I missed counterpoint and my voice lesson. Which really sucks cause I was really looking forward to my first voice lesson. I love Dr. Oeste so much and not just because he is a good voice teacher. I really hate it when it seems as though I've let him down. Hopefully, he will accept groveling as an adequate apology. |
| September 2003 |