"A problem shared is a problem halved"
(Previous post "Getting Started")
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Stardate: 60330.0600
Susan rolled out of bed reluctantly and opened her eyes slowly. Of course she knew who the strange woman standing in front of her was but that didn't make her any less strange. Susan yawned, "what is it Lindsey?"
The short brown-haired woman was beaming. How could she be so wide awake so early in the morning? "You got a message luv. Your computer was very insistent about it so I thought it was a good idea to wake you up…"
Susan's heart gave a leap and she was immediately awake.
"Did it say who the message was from or what the priority was?"
Lindsey gave her a blank look as Susan grabbed her dressing gown and wrapped it around her and made her way out of her room.
"No luv, it just beeped rather loudly. Woke me right up it did."
Susan allowed her eyes to survey the make-shift bed that Lindsey had made out of the ensign’s sofa as she strode past on the way to the computer. Lindsey Donavan had moved in when the crew of the MERCURY had and for some reason had decided to stay. Susan would have kicked her out – if the woman hadn't been a kind sweet middle-aged lady who's husband Susan had witnessed pass away. Susan had the feeling that Lindsey didn't have anyone else and so saw it as her duty to accept the woman into her quarters and try and help her through her grief – which she didn't seem to be handling as well as Captain Rikar. Indeed, it seemed the woman was stuck fast in the denial stage of grief. Susan suspected that this, more than anything else, was responsible for Lindsey's determination to move quarters.
Susan stifled a large yawn as she sat down infront of her computer and tried to prepare herself for the worst. The last message she had received had been from her father. He had acted very strangely in the message – nothing so obvious that a stranger would notice, but to Susan who had grown up alone with him he had seemed odd. For one thing, he had apologized for an argument they had had – not something the admiral was known to do. She had been concerned from that day that something was wrong, that he knew something she didn't – about his health, some danger he'd be facing or some plot against him. She had never known what sector of Starfleet he worked for, just that he had tones of paperwork to do. As a result, it was never far from her mind that he could be in some imminent danger that she knew just as much about.
Tentatively she requested the message and filled in her access code. The face that came up, however, put Susan's mind at ease. It was merely the face of Captain Rikar.
[/\] Good Morning, I know it's early but I was wondering if you would care to join Talia and me for breakfast at seven, [/\] she glanced at something off screen, looking slightly concerned for a second before returning her attention to Susan – or her monitor and continuing softly, [/\] There's something I want to… discuss with you. [/\] She brightened slightly and then continued normally, [/\] It's not urgent. Only if you have the time. [/\]
If it wasn’t urgent, Susan wondered as the screen went blank, why did she have to call so early? She wondered if her concern was something about the party or something more serious. There was only one way to find out.
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"Ah Susan." Sabrina smiled as she opened the door, "We were just about to give up on you."
She stood aside to let the counselor into the quarters that she had shared with Enaii and her daughter. Now the daughter in question was sitting at the table with a bowl of strawberries and cream in front of her and a rather envious-looking monkey on her shoulder.
"That looks good." Susan said as she came into the room. Talia smiled and Rikar explained, "She wanted to have it with chocolate in your honour, but I told her it was too early in the morning for that."
Susan couldn't help but laugh as she remembered the first time she'd met the small child and how they – along with many other members of the crew – had enjoyed a feast of almost every chocolate concoction imaginable.
"I tell Bina it never too early for choclate." The girl protested, as if Sabrina Rikar was the child and Talia was the CO of the ANUBIS.
Susan smiled as she sat down next to her, "Usually I’d agree with you, but usually I wouldn’t be having breakfast so early."
"So what *can* I get you?" The readheaded woman asked.
Susan had never had breakfast with a captain before and found the request quite disconcerting, "Um… a cup of tea would be nice."
"That not breakfast!" Talia protested.
Sabrina shrugged, "Technically she's right."
Susan eyed Talia's bowl, "Okay, then I suppose I'll have the same as Talia."
The girl looked thrilled and Sabrina smiled. "I'll be right back" and disappeared into the kitchen.
"So" Susan said to the room's only other remaining human occupant. "How are you Talia?"
Talia seemed to consider this carefully, "Talia okay. Bina not good."
Susan's brow furrowed, "Why do you say that?"
Talia shrugged and concentrated on digging into her meal, "She have bad dream. She cry."
Susan nodded sympathetically, "You're worried about her?"
Either Talia didn't understand the question, or she didn't feel like answering instead she said, "She scream loud. Cappi scared."
"Talia, why don't you fetch your puzzle to show Susan?" Susan looked up and saw Sabrina standing in the doorway, watching them. The little girl jumped up and left to her room.
"Interrogating my daughter?" Sabrina's attitude changed as she came to the table and set down the bowls she'd been carrying.
Susan smiled amiably, "Not intentionally. I just asked how she was. She's worried about you."
Sabrina glared at her and then the former counselor looked away and sighed deeply, "I'm sorry. I'm just overly sensitive where Talia is concerned."
"Is it true?"
"What? The bad dream."
Susan nodded.
Sabrina frowned and dug a spoon into her own strawberry breakfast. "Yes. That's the reason – well one of the reasons – I asked you here."
At that moment Talia re-emerged from her room carrying a three dimensional puzzle and the conversation was dropped until much later when Talia had gone back to her room to amuse herself while the adults talked.
They moved their conversation to the sofa where Susan sat with her customary cup of tea and Sabrina explained quietly the details of her dream.
"That's interesting" the ANUBIS's counselor said.
"Interesting?" Rikar looked at Susan incredulously, after pouring her heart out that was the last thing she had expected, "Is that all you have to say?"
Susan smiled and folded her arms. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to ask you?"
The ex-counselor eyed her coolly before shrugging, "I suppose so. I'm sorry, I'm not used to sitting on this side of the… couch."
Susan laughed, "There's no need to apologize. Just relax. Now I know this sounds incredibly clichéd, but can you tell me how this made you feel?"
"The dream?"
Susan nodded and Rikar appeared to consider her answer carefully, "Helpless." She said eventually.
"Not something the Captain of a starship wants to feel." Susan added
Rikar sighed and turned from her, "It's more than that though. More than an organic dream of losing a loved one or of becoming powerless. I mean, I know that running away and seeing your own reflection are both subconscious signs that you fear losing control," Said the redheaded woman, showing her obvious background in psychology, "But I… I knew I was dreaming, and yet there was this strong sense that everything I was experiencing was somehow real… of course I realize this sounds crazy. Like the textbook example of a paranoid schizophrenic…" she let her sentence trail.
Susan merely shook her head, then said with raised eyebrows, "Which is why you came to me?"
Rikar couldn't help but smile, "Well, not really but since you are a counselor…"
"You aren't paranoid Captain. Its perfectly natural given all that's happened that your subconscious is in a bit of a state."
"I suppose." Sabrina appeared to contemplate this, "It's just that… I suppose what's bothering me is that Talia's mother *is* dead. I never met her, but I'm certain that she was the woman I saw last night. What if it wasn't just a dream? What if she was really…"
"Telling you to let Enaii go?"
Silence hung in the air. The ANUBIS's CO knew as well as Susan did that letting Enaii go was what was required of her. The intelligence operative was dead and she had to accept that. It was the last of the five phases of grieving and she knew that eventually she'd have to reach it. And maybe that was really all that the dream meant. That it was time to let go. Maybe Talia's mother was a figment of her imagination based on what Talia looked like and her words were only a part Sabrina's own subconscious…
"One the other hand," Susan said, throwing this new acceptance of the dream being merely a nightmare out completely, "Many people do claim to have seen ghosts in their dreams."
Sabrina raised her eyebrows, "So it could have been real?"
Susan took a sip of her tea, "I don't know. I'm not the person to judge, only you can do that. However, I am the person to tell you that you are not crazy or schitzo or even strange in any way." She smiled encouragingly, "You're just grieving."
"That's a comfort." The CO stated and Susan wasn't sure whether she was being serious or not. At any rate she stood up and smiled, "Thank you for coming, Susan. Believe it or not I do actually feel better. Maybe I just needed to share it with someone."
Susan also stood and smiled as she followed Sabrina to the door, hoping that she had really helped the CO and that Sabrina wasn't merely being polite. "A problem shared is a problem halved."
--------------- 2005 post #542
Setting: USS ANUBIS, Mei Quarters
Stardate: 60330.0710
Setting: USS ANUBIS, Rikar's Quarters
Tallulah Habib {thabib@eject.co.za}
Ensign Susan Mei
Head Counselor
USS ANUBIS
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"Life is mostly froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone,
Kindness in another's trouble,
Courage in your own." - Adam Lindsay Gordon
