| My Bio: |
| This, as you can tell by the title of the page, is a little bit of an autobiography. I'm going to give you an idea of my life leading up to the present day, then update it as things happen. Therefore it's going to be in past tense up to a point, then in little chunks of present tense when I update it, so it might confuse some people. I'm going to try and do this chronologically, so some storylines may be interrupted by other bits and pieces... I was born on one fine day in October of '86, and registered as Caitlin 4 days afterwards. 17 years later.. just kidding! I had a relatively happy childhood- my only major trauma was living with Ian (my brother) and constantly being tickled and teased. No biggie. I grew up in a rather large house in a quiet rural neighbourhood, with a trampoline in the backyard. I spent hours on that thing... and only once nearly killed myself while trying a back layout full (A back flip with a straight body and a full twist). I hit the tramp oddly and bounced off, landed rolling (out of sheer luck), and only received a few bumps. I started doing gymnastics recreationally when I was about 5 years old. I got hooked and right away started competing. I was training 15 hours a week by the age of 11, and to put modesty aside for a moment, I was pretty good. I have boxes of medals and ribbons from all the competitions I was in over the years. Gymnastics was my passion, my life. Everyone who knew me, knew me as a talented gymnast. I found out that my dad smoked at around 11. I was appalled. How could my father, a kind, generous, strong, loving man, do such a vile thing as smoking? Didn't he know how bad it was for him? How could he have lied to me? He was perfect... and now, not. After many, many tears, I gradually matured and realised that, though smoking was vile, my father was not betraying me by doing so. During the summer before grade 8 and shortly after we bought a townhouse about 15 minutes away from our house, my parents announced their separation. The news hit me like a load of bricks... my parents had previously been quite happy, or so it seemed to me. I may have been simply naive, because Ian later told me he wasn't really surprised. Mom and I moved into the townhouse, and dad got a small basement suite for him and Ian, with a guest room for me. I found out that dad loved another woman "the way he should love my mom". I hated and resented Ruth for years. SHE broke my family up. SHE was the reason I had all this pain. I refused to meet her, or talk to dad about her. Dad sensed my resentment, and didn't mention her. He'd go on 'walks' for hours to visit her, or go out with 'friends' when I knew he was with HER. Somewhere around this time, Ian gave me his Diablo cd (a computer game which you can play online) and I stumbled into a chatroom on it called 'Rogues Gallery', or RG. I made many close friends on there... and so many people who changed my view on life and helped shape me as a person. They were there for me through the time in my life when I was moving from child to adult and defining myself. For a period of time many of my RG friends were closer than my real-time friends. Then one day, at the age of 12 and at the beginning of my highschool career, I quit gymnastics. I just didn't want to do it anymore- I had lost the passion for it. I knew I couldn't go long without a sport, so I took an introductory course at the local climbing gym. Climbing instantly appealed to me, so I joined the week-end junior climbing group. After a few months, I was asked to join the competitive junior team. I started training 9 hours a week right away. A few months after that, I had my first climbing competition. I don't even remember what I placed, but once again I was hooked. Somewhere around May of 2000, I placed 4th at Nationals. That summer, I went to Amsterdam for the World Junior Climbing Competition, and placed somewhere very near last. It didn't matter... I had made it to the Worlds! In July, I took a summer improv course at a youth theatre. It was really fun and I learned a few things to take to acting class. At the beginning of grade 9 in September 2000, there was a meeting for anyone who wanted to be in the school play. I went and it sounded really interesting, but I decided to opt out because I felt that rehearsals would conflict with my climbing training. I started going out with my first boyfriend, Ted, in December of that year. He was my first kiss- there were no fireworks, I didn't turn into jelly or any other less solid substance... It was rather awkward actually, since we were on his bed and I was lying crossways, so his lips were perpendicular to mine. We went out for around three months, but I broke up with him just after the school play ('Dance: Through a Glass Darkly', end of March 2001). I felt he was too clingy. If we were anywhere at the same time, he had to be right there. In hindsight, I don't know why I didn't simply talk to him about it, but we also had lost the chemistry we had had at the beginning of the relationship. Back to the play... I wasn't a very big part in the whole. I was only in one dance. That year, the play had a grade 8 dance and a grade 9 dance. We were taught a dance and required to perform it in one of the shows as part of our final grade. I, however, chose to be in all four- three evening showings and one matinee for elementary schools. Hanging around backstage waiting for my one dance during the rehearsals and shows, I saw how close the cast was. Everyone was laughing and fooling around the whole time. I wanted to be a part of it so much, and I regretted quitting way back at the beginning of the year. I felt that I had really missed out on something great. I vowed to dive into the next year's play as much as I could, and be a part of the togetherness I had seen from the outside. That July, I was part of the team that wrote the following year's play. We had a couple meetings on weekends during school, then during exams we had looooong sessions where we'd be at the school from 10 to 4. We'd order pizza and take breaks to wander the darkened halls... I also did a two-week acting intensive course at the same youth theatre where I took the improv course. It was absolutely fantastic, super fun, and helped me grow alot. One of the guys in the class, Brian, was so cute and nice- I had a crush on him the whole two weeks. Once it ended, he asked me out and we went to the movies the following week. A few days later, he came over and we watched The Lion King, then we had our first kiss. Again, it was an awkward kiss- we had just been eating Fuzzy Peaches so it was rather sticky... Not a pleasant experience. After a week of delaying and working up the nerve, I broke up with him. We just weren't right for each other... He moved to Calgary to go to an arts school for acting. Back to June, I placed 4th at Nationals, and got 2nd place on the team, in my category. We went to Austria end of August/beginning of September for the Worlds and I did better than the year before, although not exceptional. Again, it didn't matter- making it to the Worlds was enough for me. September 2001, beginning of grade 10, I joined 'Eclipsed: Ben's Story'. I balanced rehearsals and training fairly well, improving in my climbing abilities while managing to be in a large part of the play, mostly as a dancer and a random actor. Even though I didn't have a single line (well, I did have lines but they were spoken in chorus) I was so incredibly happy with my role(s). The play was near the end of April, and between September and April I spent countless hours rehearsing. Skipping back to November, I told dad that I was ready to meet Ruth. He countered by telling me that they were moving in together. I countered by telling him that he had to quit smoking, and he said he was working on it. I went to dinner with Dad, Ian, and HER. At first I was quiet, seeing her through hate-filled eyes. Then slowly I saw that she was a funny, open, silly person who meshed perfectly with my personality. In two hours at the most, I shed my hate of her like a snake shedding skin, and grew to love her. Since then I have never hated another person. Dad moved in with Ruth that December. (Although that sounds like an abrupt description of that event, there's not much else to say about it...) I continued climbing through grade 10, until May, when I once again lost the passion and quit. Like gymnastics, there was no real explanation. At the end of that year, I once again was part of the writing team for the play. We did the same thing as the year before- long days at the empty school, pizza, frustration... The following September, 2002, I started dance classes- ballet and jazz. I started off with teen beginner level 3 ballet, and teen beginner jazz, but I couldn't stand the beginner jazz class. The ballet was relatively challenging but the jazz was mind-blowingly simple. I talked to my instructor and she recommended I move up into a higher-level, competitive class. It was much better for me- a fun yet challenging class. Also that September, the writing team finished up the play, and meetings started to figure out how many people were interested in being a part of 'Stardumb'. Auditions were in November, and rehearsals started right away. I was cast as 'Sapphire', a fairy side-kick to Magenta, a dragqueen astrologist in Toronto. (As you may have guessed, the play is a comedy, as well as a musical. =P) I'm also a dancer in six of the seven dances (the seventh one is the grade eight dance...), and I sing in four big song numbers. I'm the main choreographer for one dance, co-main choreographer in another, and I have input in many other dances. On November 25th, Ted asked me out again, and I said yes. I fell in love with him, although I don't really know when. The first part of our relationship was grande, and I was amazed at how much happier I was with Ted than I was before we were going out. Sadly, though, we steadily grew apart, and broke up (mutually, this time!) on January 10th of this year (2003). Mom told me that her and Colin are engaged in January. I like him, but I didn't instantly click with him, as I did with Ruth. I forget when they met but they'd been going out for several months by then. Korey (Colin's son) is a cool kid although he can get annoying at times, as all little (not yet step-)brothers do... Somewhere in all this I had 9 online relationships with 7 guys. I didn't really keep track of when I had each one or how long they were, and I'm not sure of the order in which they occured. The first was Matt, whom I met in an Australian chat room. Then came a guy from RG, and I don't even remember his screen name. Something with thorns, I think... He was followed by Tim, aka Kalopaque. Then I went out with Sam, who was the first guy I loved. We lasted 6 months, then he left me for his friend Kelsey. Then I dated Paul, aka Meta. Then I believe it was Ted, then Sam again, followed by Meta once more. Then I dated Garth, an awesome Kiwi with the sexiest voice ever. Then came Tony, an Australian (who now lives in New Zealand), who's 5 years older than me. Tony made me love once again, which was so hard because he's 18 hours away. We lasted the second longest (next to the first time with Sam) out of any of my o/l relationships, although I don't remember exactly how long. I finally couldn't stand the pain of seperation any longer and broke it off. Afterwards, I decided that that would be my last online relationship. I just couldn't handle to be hurt like that again. Around the end of Feburary Britt, my friend Justin's girlfriend of four months, broke up with him. The whole thing was a tad complicated, but basically he got hurt rather badly. A couple weeks later we established that we both liked each other, but that he needed time to sort himself out and heal. I was totally willing to back off and let him do what he felt was right. Then a week ago, (Thursday, March 20th, '03) Justin came over and we watched Ocean's Eleven and 8 Mile. The whole night Justin and I were flirting and lying on each other and such, and finally he kissed me. (WOOHOO!!) Then I, being the dork I am, asked where we were going and he said he really wanted to go out with me. To which I replied "I really wanna go out with you too," and there you have it. We're going out... :D Stardumb was absolutely amazing. We got a standing ovation every night, and I had sooooo much fun. I'm sad it's over, but at the same time I'm so looking forward to next year's play. At the Stardumb cast party, Mr. Beare told Kirsten and I that we're ready for a main role next year. It's supposed to be halfway between the darker Eclipsed and the light comedic Stardumb, and it's a dance play, as opposed to this year's singing play. Justin's going to be in Directing & Performance 12 next year, which is so very exciting. Tri-Service Ball is coming up, and once again, so very exciting. Tri-ball is a fancy ball-type affair for all three Cadet services: Air, Sea, and Army. Everyone dresses up all nice, guys in tuxes, girls in gowns, and have a blast. I'd describe my dress in detail but I know Justin's going to read this and I'm keeping him in the dark on it, except for the fact that it's red. Everything else is going to be a surprise... :D I got my wisdom teeth removed on June 27th, 2003, which was not a fun experience. I was drugged up on anaesthetic for a good day, then hopped up on antibiotics and Tylenol-3 for several days after that, with icepacks on my face for the first two days and heat packs on my face for a couple days after that. I went four and a half days without eating solid food, and now can't be brought to eat yoghurt. I went to a really fun dance workshop from July 2-6. It was really, really good because it was interpretive type dance, which is mainly what next year's play is going to have. I learned a lot of things that I want to use in any choreography I get to make for the play. I also saw a dance performance during that week, and was similarly inspired with many ideas for the play. July 14 to 18 I took a summer dance camp at VanLeena, my dance school. I did roughly 25 hours of dance in five days, which was rather tiring considering before that I had done nothing physical for a good month. I did ballet, jazz, lyrical, hiphop, tap, pointe, and salsa, as well as hair, make-up, and acting workshops. It was really fun and I'm glad I did it. It is currently the summer before grade 12. Justin's gone off on a cadet exchange to fun places without me, so I've had plenty of time to work on my novel and this site, as well as catch up with my friends. Mom and I have just recently decided to move. The place we currently live in is really nice, but the people upstairs (who have hardwood floors...) have two noisy kids who stomp and yell, and the woman walks around in high heels. It's really dark, and there are a couple other little things that have just added up. The place we're moving to is closer to school (and closer to Justin :P) and really nice. We're probably taking possession on August 15, and moving in for September 1st. On August 7th, I'm going down to visit Brit, an online friend I met in the RG roughly five years ago, if I'm not mistaken. Definitely four, although I'm pretty sure it was five. At any rate, we've been good friends for a long time and I've wanted to meet her almost since we met. Finally I have the opportunity and I'm so incredibly excited. I also get to meet another of my online friends, Chris, who is Brit's boyfriend. I met him through Brit when they were just friends (or possibly the first time they went out, I don't really remember exactly) and I've known him for several years as well. The only bad part about me leaving on the 7th is Justin gets back on the 5th, probably in the afternoon. That gives us a day and a half together before I go off for five or six days, then I come back on the 11th or 12th, finish packing my stuff up and move. I'll just have to make him help me... :P Right now (October 2003) we're in the process of teaching the audition pieces for this year's play, with a working title of 'My Utopia' (no one really likes it, but it'll do until we get a better one). I've been choreographing with Mrs. Mayrand (the co-director/ dance director) and other students, and I'm really starting to get excited. I'm going for the role of Dylan, a main acting/dancing role, but I'll be happy with any acting/dancing role I get. Justin and I have been going out for seven months as of two days ago (October 20th), and we're very much in love. :D Oh God, where to begin? It's now August 2005, and so much has happened to me in the last 2 years that I have no idea how to get it all down in words. I guess I'll just start where I left off and see how I do. Justin and I went on a break near the end of February 2004. Said he needed to figure things out. A week before our 1-year anniversary, we got back together. I got the role of Rachel in Utopia, the play I mentioned before. It was a main acting/dancing role, and I also got the privelege to choreograph almost every single dance in the play. Doing Utopia was soooo much fun. It was probably one of the most fun experiences of my high school life. It was also one of the most turbulent and emotional experiences, because of something that happened because of our play. Utopia had 5 shows, 3 evening performances on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and 2 matinees on Thursday and Friday. In one scene of our play, a dream sequence, 3 girls chase after one guy, who loves only one of them. After the guy gets the girl he loves, she says she thought he loved the other two. He says, "Who, them? No, they're gay." The other two girls turn to each other and realize it must be true, and kiss. The kiss was no more than two seconds long, and could have been a kiss between two sisters or a mother and daughter it was so platonic. The other girl and guy also kiss, for much longer and with more passion. Our play also dealt with underaged drinking, marital abuse, and had an attempted rape scene as well as fight scenes and dances representing violence between characters. However, after the matinee performance on Friday, Mr. Beare, our director, sat us down and told us that after seeing the show, 3 teachers from our school and 4 parents of kids who had seen it had complained about some of the content of the play. Specifically, some of the swear words, some of the sexual innuendo, and the lesbian kiss. We understood about the innuendo and the swears, and took those out for the Friday evening performance, but were outraged over the protests about the kiss. We couldn't understand it, because the drama program at our school was one of caring, community, and openness. We talked about stopping the show, we talked about leaving the kiss in anyways. We talked for a long time, and many tears were shed. Finally we decided to take the kiss out, because we couldn't change minds that were already set merely by keeping the kiss in. Mr. Beare would get in a lot of trouble for not taking it out, and we just didn't want to go through all that. After the Friday evening performance, we were told we could put some of the swears and innuendos back in. As for the kiss, it was still forbidden. There was a lot of media storm surrounding this. We were on the news a few times, and in the paper. Susan, who played another main acting/dancing role and was the chief editor of our script, got interviewed on the radio. People mentioned us on their websites and blogs. And in the end... well, I'm not sure in the end. But it definitely changed me. I applied to several universities for acting and dancing programs, including the Randolph Academy for Performing Arts (or RAPA) in Toronto. RAPA is a triple threat performing arts school, meaning it teaches acting, singing, and dancing in equal portions to turn out artists with talent in all 3. It's nominally a musical theatre program, but they also teach film acting classes, and students go on to do many things in and out of the arts. To make a long story short, I found out on my last day of highschool classes that I got accepted to RAPA, and needless to say I was pretty damn excited. The thought of moving to Toronto was pretty damn scary, but I knew I could do it. Justin told me he didn't want to do a long-distance relationship, because he had done it before and it hurt too much. I didn't agree with that, but since it takes two to make a relationship, I said my part and kept silent. I decided to make the best of the time we had together, and just hope he changed his mind. Then, it was time for me to leave. I said goodbye to everything. To my family, to the city I was born in and lived in my whole life, to my friends, and to the first love of my life, who I was leaving behind. Toronto was big, smelly, loud and lonely. I couldn't sleep for a long time my first night here, and stood at my window looking at the city, wishing I were home again. Then school started, and WOW! I knew right away that something special was going on there, and that I wanted to do it all. RAPA has changed me so much, in so many ways that I can't even begin to describe. It has matured me, and made me a lot wiser. I feel a hundred times bigger than I was when I left Vancouver a year ago. This is really condensing it, of course, but that's pretty much the gist of it. I went back home for Christmas in December 2004, and Justin and I established that we had missed each other, a lot, and got back together. Then, 10 days later, (for reasons I'm not going to get into now because who knows who's reading this and if I want you to know, I'll tell you) we broke up. In a very, very emotional way. So I spent Christmas putting on smiles and trying not to cry. But seeing my family and friends was amazing. Even though I really wanted to go back to school and keep going... :P So back to school, and I kept going. Same as I said before... it changed me, a lot. I grew, and matured, and got wiser. I formed opinions on life, and love, and a lot of other things. Right now, it's Wednesday August 3rd, 2005. I'm going home for the summer on Friday, and can't wait. I haven't seen Justin since the day we broke up, and the last time we talked was on MSN, back in April. I've had lots of time to think about everything, and I realized that he definitely was my first love. The other guys before him, whom I said I loved... that wasn't love. It was almost like I was in love with the idea of loving them. I was in like with them, and in love with Justin. It was great love, true love, and what some call puppy love. That saga lasted nearly two years, and definitely changed me. A lot. I tried to mention all the important things that went on in my life, but I've surely missed some. Hopefully this gave you an insight into what shaped my beliefs and made me who I am today. |