2006 SEASON (JULY ONWARDS)
Before I bring you all the usual action-packed hilarious description of the games we played in, let's for just a second or two think about the sad passing of West End Cricket Club. Thank you all - what a touching (and time-wasting) feature that was...
- - - 2006 MATCH REPORTS & STATS - - -
Sunday 2nd July 2006, Bagshot h) :
DJ Wittzy's match report:
DJ Wittzy and Spenza made their Windlesham debut on (typically) the hottest day of the year – the temperature was about 31 degrees. Luckily, apart from the obvious advantage we had of Notty not being available to play, we batted first meaning we avoided having to field during the hottest part of the day. This was the first proper cricket action we had experienced in 10 months, the end of West End Cricket Club, and hello Windlesham Cricket Club. Gone were the days of turning up with half a team and being bowled out for less than 50 on regular occasions. Well, not exactly… the reason we were playing for Windlesham is that they were short of players (although both teams ended up fielding 12 players – now that’s something you’ll NEVER see at West End, apart from the time we had 12 players and Notty’s guess at a number was furthest away and so he had to be dropped… yeh we all remember that, ha ha). Anyway, the Windlesham openers made a slow but steady start on a very dry wicket, but by the time the DJ was at the crease it was 31 for 3 – just like the good ol’ days at West End… so, making my first appearance in the number five slot, the DJ was off the mark third ball with a nice leg glance, but off the last ball of the first full over I faced I was trapped plum lbw with a ball which apparently kept slightly low, either way it was definitely out. Shame, as I seemed to be getting my eye in as well. So as DJ Wittzy trudged off, Spenza (number 6) entered the action and lasted a few more overs than I did, making a conservative 2 before also falling lbw to the same bowler I did. Despite using up nearly 40 overs, the 11 (yes not 10) wickets just produced 75 runs between them – typical West End style. So, with passionate support being provided by Notty, who had returned from Sainsbury’s after his work shift (it’s nice to see that Sainsbury’s have actually done something good for a change – preventing Notty from being able to play in the game…) Windlesham took the field in pursuit of an unlikely victory. But with 7 overs gone, the first wicket fell with the score only on 14 after good tight bowling from the opening bowlers. After a short while, Spenza was introduced into the attack, and his first delivery in Sunday league cricket ever bamboozled their batsman, coming very close to bowling him. Having bowled a very tidy first over, which although included two boundaries from full tosses, Spenza’s first ball of his second over was misjudged by the batsman, who skied it and saw it fall nicely into the fielder’s arms. And in his next over, Spenza again caused the batsman to spoon his shot into the air. Guess who the fielder was – yes DJ Wittzy. But the ball appeared to be sailing over my head, I was fielding at Mid-Off in my hat, and somehow (with more luck than judgement) jumped up with my left hand, not even looking at what I was doing, and plucked the ball out of the humid air! Oh my god – I actually caught it?!?!?! Only my second catch in a game, having dropped a few (none of which were dollies like the ones Notty has put down in his time), but the Wittzy-Spenza combination had struck again! Absolutely lethal. Even at 40-3 we still had a slim chance. However that was soon extinguished, as the visitors raced to 74-3 (helped by Spenza’s misfield on the boundary, letting the ball roll through his legs!). But we did pick up another wicket before Bagshot reached their target without too much difficulty. Although we received a mild “spanking”, it was just nice to play some competitive cricket again.
Score Summary:
Windlesham 75 all out
Bagshot 77-4
MATCH RESULT: LOSS by 7 wickets (there were 11 batsmen to get out, so I haven't got my maths wrong actually)
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 1
Balls: 9
How out: lbw
Position: No 5
Bowling:
Catches taken: 1 great one (Don’t think I can ever pull one off like that again!)
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 2
How out: lbw
Position: No 6
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 6-2-27-2 (I think – I didn’t get to see the official scorecard so I’m just using my memory again)
Wickets: 2 caught
Sunday 9th July 2006, Sonning a) :
DJ Wittzy's match report:
After nearly getting lost on the way there, and being driven past the actual ground by Notty before getting stuck in a short traffic jam before we were able to go back to the ground, me, Notty and Spenza played our first match at Sonning. On a mild day with only ten players, we won the toss and chose to field first but didn’t get off to the best start as the Sonning openers punished the slightly wayward and fairly inconsistent Windlesham bowling. Soon it was time for DJ Wittzy to enter the bowling attack. But my bowling began very poorly indeed, bowling a couple of wides and most deliveries strayed down the leg side. After just 13 overs of play, the home side were 110 for no wicket… Not even the DJ could stem the flow of runs. Finally, having seen my first 4 overs cost 45 runs (although that did include a dropped chance from Spenza, who kindly repaid my one-handed catch for his 2nd wicket last week, I’ll say no more…), it was indeed DJ Wittzy who made the breakthrough. Having put on 146 for the first wicket, one of the openers (who had reached his half-century in no time at all) sliced his shot into the air, luckily for him Notty was underneath it – and we all know how many chances he had caught (none). But incredibly, Notty took the catch very well, giving me and the team some welcome relief. By slowing down my bowling and taking the pace of the ball, I took 1-15 in my final 3 overs. Still, 1-60 from 7 overs isn’t particularly outstanding. Spenza replaced me, and was rather unlucky to last just two overs, going for 21 runs – my first two overs had cost 23. By this time the other opener had reached his 150 (Yes that’s 1-5-0, more than we achieve as a team most of the time!!!) and chose to retire out – what was even more humiliating was this guy was only about 16 (as was the other opener who made a fifty), but to be fair they were much too good for the quality of Sunday league cricket. Andy finally took the second actual wicket, but by this time Sonning were on 282 and had only used up about 32 overs. So, having tried several bowlers and failed to keep the runs down, Notty was called into the attack. Yes, we were that desperate. Now remember what happened last time Notty bowled? I do, I won’t forget that day – two overs which cost around 30 runs and lasted more than ten minutes each because of the large number of wides he bowled. Anyway, he had the chance to make up for that. As me and Spenza were pushed out to the boundary on the On-side, we watched Notty’s first delivery, a very loose, but not all that fast, beamer which nearly took the batsman’s head off – needless to say me and Spenza found that extremely funny. So after bowling that horrendous no-ball first up, Notty’s third (second legal) delivery was a wide-ish ball which the batsman dragged onto his off stump. Amazing!! Notty had got a wicket!! It wasn’t a good ball but just the same it was a poor shot, a big slice of luck for Notty and the score was now 327 for 4 in the 37th over. Me and Spenza were both shocked by Notty’s first wicket, but even more incredible was the fact that he actually took a caught and bowled chance later in the same over – yes, I’m not lying, Notty actually took two wickets and two catches!! His figures of 1-0-1-2 looked outstanding after his first over, but we saw the usual Notty return for his second over, conceding about four boundaries, 3 wides, not to mention a couple of boundaries which went down as four byes. Conceding those 23 runs in that second over slightly destroyed those figures, but at least Notty actually has a bowling average now, and a reasonably impressive strike rate too. Having been smashed all around the field for the past 3 hours or so, it was nice to get off the pitch. A final total of 387-6 from the allotted 40 overs wasn’t exactly reachable – only 9.7 runs per over needed for victory – it was nice of Sonning to give us a sniff of victory… Anyway, due to peer pressure from Notty and Spenza I had been forced to bat at number 3 – something I wasn’t really looking forward to, especially if Sonning’s bowling was as deadly as their batting. Notty and Spenza were at number 9 and 10. After just 3 overs, with the score on 9 Windlesham lost their first wicket. DJ Wittzy entered the crease, and looked fairly comfortable as I scored the occasional run or two when I was able to find the gaps in the field. Unfortunately the wickets were falling every so often at the other end. Having managed to hit a couple of nice boundaries (and survive a potential lbw shout rejected by Umpire Notty), the DJ had moved onto 20 before the bowler with the skinhead (who had the cheek to question Umpire Notty’s call of a blatant no-ball when he was bowling) suddenly took a massive long run-up and launched a short and very quick bouncer. I managed to hit his second or third ball, edging it over slip only just, but it was great to get off strike from him. Unfortunately for me, in the next over, the bowler from the other end pitched it short and I misjudged a pull shot which looped up in the air and into his hands. It was disappointing to come so close to a new personal best score with the bat, but I was very happy with the 21 I had made. At 84-6, we were heading for another heavy defeat. Notty came to the middle at 88-7 and actually managed to hit the second ball he faced – what a match he was having! His little cameo didn’t last long though, as he was bowled off the fifth delivery he faced, playing an overly-optomistic ugly cut shot which he missed by a country mile. Spenza came in, by which time me and Notty had become bored and decided to watch the start of the 2006 World Cup final, but the innings soon finished anyway and Spenza was left with an unbeaten nought. So, we lost by almost 300 runs, but against a team which were not Sunday League standard, not exactly a fair contest especially when one of their guys makes a 150 and then decides to retire – a little bit selfish really. Anyway, Notty had an outstanding game by his standards and was delighted that Spenza had failed to outscore him, and I think I might have top-scored for us, although I can’t confirm that. Finally, I scored my 100th run in Sunday League cricket in this game!
Score Summary:
Sonning 387-6* (40 overs)
Windlesham 90-9 (all out)
MATCH RESULT: LOSS by 297 runs
*One of their guys “retired out”, i.e we didn’t actually get him out, so technically we only got five wickets not six…
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 21
Balls: 61
How out: caught & bowled
Position: No 3
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 7-0-60-1
Wickets: 1 caught
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 0
How out: bowled
Position: No 9
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 2-0-24-2 (No, seriously I'm NOT making this up...)
Catches taken: 2 (Yes really!)
Wickets: 1 bowled, 1 caught & bowled
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 0
How out: NOT OUT
Position: No 10
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 2-0-21-0
Sunday 16th July 2006, Oakley h) :
DJ Wittzy's match report:
On another baking hot July afternoon, DJ Wittzy, Notty and Spenza took on the Oakley crew, hoping that we wouldn’t get smashed about the park for nearly 400 again. Fortunately we won the toss, and we chose to bat first meaning we didn’t have to field in the hottest part of the day. The Windlesham captain – Steve – was first man out, lbw with the score on just 9 after about 7 overs (another slow start), and clearly wasn’t too chuffed with the decision he received from one of his team-mates who gave him out lbw. I was preparing to pad up, having been put in at number 4, when captain Steve slammed his bat down against the wall in the changing room cursing his luck. Luckily for me and Notty (who was at number 5), the Windlesham partnership added 70 for the 2nd wicket, but 79-1 after 22 overs soon became 105-6 as the familiar and rather inevitable middle-order collapse happened again. Having been struck on strike against some OAP bowling spin to an attacking field, the DJ was out lbw for another disappointing duck having failed to get the chance to play an attacking stroke at all – I was eventually given out by Umpire Spenza having gone back to a delivery and being pegged right on the stumps, 12 balls and no runs – shocking! The only positive thing I can say about that innings is that at least Ray at the other end was able to hit a couple of boundaries, and we actually put on about 14 runs in 4 overs. Anyway my downfall brought Mr. Nott to the crease, and having given him a thorough workout beforehand trying to improve his batting and being given a pep-talk on the basics of batting by me and Spenza, we were hoping Notty wouldn’t do anything too silly. Notty was facing the same old git I was, but the field was even more attacking – virtually the whole team was crowding round him. After being unable to hit anything for a while, Notty decided to take a huge swipe at one of the deliveries, and amazingly it actually paid off – he managed to slice the ball over the close infield and it ran away to the cover boundary for Notty’s first-ever boundary. After that impressive (but not overly-impressive) effort, we saw the same old Notty the very next ball. He played his traditional ugly, over-aggressive (and ultimately useless) cut shot and was bowled. However, four was Notty’s second highest score and brought his batting average up to 1.25… which is terrible. DJ Wittzy took over umpiring duties from Spenza, who came out to the middle with the score on 117-7. Having played two very juicy cover drives which merited a couple each, Spenza raced along quite comfortably against the spinners and hit a couple of nice boundaries too. Although he escaped when he sliced a cut shot just away from the slip cordon, generally I was very impressed with Spenza’s solid batting. At the end of the allotted time, he had made a personal best unbeaten 19, and the Windlesham total of 144 for 8 from the 38 overs was a decent effort, and at last a competitive total. Although it wasn’t a huge total, it was a better performance than we were used to at West End, and some tight bowling would give us a chance at victory. Although one of our opening bowlers took a couple of wickets in his opening spell, Oakley cruised to 72-2 before Spenza was introduced into the attack. He bowled very tidily, and bowled one of their guys in taking 1-18 off 4 overs. Notty, strangely enough, was his replacement. His over was economical enough, and there wasn’t anything near the horrendous no-ball he bowled first up last week (ha ha!). But after respectable figures of 0-4 from his six deliveries – and I quote from Spenza – Notty “was replaced by a 5-year old!” Ha ha, yes it was true, but the 5-year old’s bowling was actually pretty damn good. Anyway, a bit belatedly, captain Steve – who had pissed me off by placing me in various and rather strange fielding positions by pointing to me having still not bothered to learn my name, which I consider to be pure bloody ignorance and rudeness – brought DJ Wittzy on, with the score 136 for 3, so I wasn’t able to alter the result with just 9 runs needed for victory. Anyway, I took a wicket with my seventh delivery – a terrible ball which pea-rolled onto middle and off stump and bowled their batsman. Terrible the ball was, but it was gun-barrel straight so I wasn’t complaining. I also had the winning run hit off me in my third over, condemning us to a six-wicket defeat, but another personal milestone for DJ Wittzy – I had bowled my 100th over in Sunday League cricket! So, I had a rather disappointing game (there’s nothing more deflating in my opinion than being out for nought having being unable to play any sort of attacking stroke), but Spenza played splendidly and Notty, well Notty scored some runs for a change before being replaced by a 5-year old (how humiliating!). I wasn’t too impressed with captain Steve, though, as his tactics when we were fielding were odd at times – he brought his young son into the attack at a crucial time, and unfortunately he had a lot of boundaries hit off him. Also moving the field out to the boundary showed the negativity, and there was no positive atmosphere or encouragement from him when we were fielding – an important part of the captain’s job. That was mystifying for me, as we were defending a reasonable target. Anyway, I don’t think I should comment too much as I am not the captain, but I don’t think earlier being given out by a debatable lbw decision put Steve in a good mood for the rest of the game. Maybe he can actually bother to learn my name for next time (having actually spoken to me on the phone 3 times previously!!!!).
Score Summary:
Windlesham 144-8 (38 overs)
Oakley 145-4
MATCH RESULT: LOSS by 6 wickets
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 0
Balls: 12
How out: lbw
Position: No 4
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 2.1-0-5-1
Wickets: 1 bowled
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 4
How out: bowled
Position: No 5
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 1-0-4-0
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 19
How out: NOT OUT
Position: No 9
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 4-0-18-1
Wickets: 1 bowled
Sunday 6th August 2006, Badshot Lea a) :
DJ Wittzy's match report:
After Spenza had woken up very late (and I mean an hour before play was to start), it was left to Notty to take us to the Windlesham ground and then onto Badshot Lea. On a very dry and bouncy pitch, we lost the toss and were put into bat. Batting conditions were not ideal – quite the opposite – and the fact that it was overcast and humid was only going to assist their bowlers. DJ Wittzy returned to the number 4 slot, with Spenza and Notty at 7 and 8 respectively. Stupidly, I was wearing the wrong type of underwear (no not a thong) so when I put my box in, it loosely jiggled around and fell out. As a result I had to borrow one of the (many) other Richard’s dirty jock-strap – it was actually quite comfy. Anyway, in typical fashion, the Windlesham openers got off to another slow start; 7 for 1 after six overs. Captain Steve hit a few boundaries before he was next man out - succumbing to a short ball which got up high and took the glove through to the keeper. The DJ entered the crease at 30 for 2. And before I knew it, this ugly 30-something-year-old was tearing up to the wicket at lightning pace and unleashed a rocket which almost took my head off. That scared the shit out of me. I managed to get an inside edge onto one of the deliveries before the over finished but I’m not used to facing anything that quick. Unfortunately, my batting partner Richard (the third Richard in the team) managed to strike a four in his next over, so I had to face the quick bloke again the following over. Again I failed to hit the ball at all, and received a large slice of luck off my fifth ball when the ball bounced down off my pad and trickled onto the middle stump, knocking it back slightly but fortunately the bails remained on top. After surviving an lbw shout and ducking out of the way of more short-pitched deliveries at the last minute, I was bowled with the eighth delivery I faced. Apparently, it was a good ball. Good ball or not, my weekend had been ruined. Another shameful nought – bloody hell. And I didn’t even play an attacking shot, not to mention the tiny boundary on the off-side of the wicket where I could have hit a six if I had received a bad ball, o well. Luckily, the fourth wicket pair put on about 40 to get the innings back on track. Spenza came to the crease at something like 90 for 5. Luckily for him, he was facing a 10-year old spinner and not a fast bowler like me. Anyway after hitting a solitary boundary, Spenza was out after playing and missing a full delivery to a medium-pacer. Yet somehow he was awarded with 5 runs instead of four – the scorer must have given him a leg-bye or something like that. How fortunate – the cheeky grin on Spenza’s face suggested he knew he shouldn’t have been given that. Now it was Notty’s turn to bat. He managed to get off the mark with a reasonably well-played leg glance, before the traditional take-two-steps-away-from-the-wicket-and-play-an-ugly-cut-shot. O dear, after just a couple of deliveries Notty had let his impatience get the better of him – moron. Notty blamed the pitch for his needless dismissal. The score soon slipped to 99 for 8, before some aggressive hitting from the 9th-wicket pair brought the score to 120 all out. After just two balls of the home side’s reply, we took a wicket. And we could have been right on top, but I think about three catchable chances were shelled in the opening four overs. Colin managed to take two more wickets, bringing his tally to three, and the score to 68 for 3. Despite two wickets from captain Steve’s son Matthew and one for Richard, which saw a brilliant catch from young William, the home side eased to their target of 121. Seeing as I (along with Spenza and Notty) was not required to bowl, the only thing I did in the field was give myself a nasty cut on the knee after sliding over the dry, rough surface. Again, captain Steve’s approach was not to my liking. Spenza also complained about him on the way home. There was no enthusiasm in the field, no encouragement, no support or praise, just constant and ultimately useless field placements, and he still doesn’t know my name for fuck’s sake!! As before, Steve decided to bring son Matthew on to bowl, and whilst he took two good wickets, his bowling was a little wayward at times – nothing wrong with that, but we still had a chance to win the game and then Steve chose to move the field right out to the boundary and criticise his son every ball – “Matthew! Matthew!” It was quite bloody annoying after a while. Jonno (our captain at West End), whilst he was a bit lazy at times was a much, much better captain, and certainly didn’t piss me off like captain Steve does. I can also see where his son Matthew gets his anger and bad language from, too…
Score Summary:
Windlesham 120 all out (34 overs)
Badshot Lea 122-6 (21 overs)
MATCH RESULT: LOSS by 4 wickets
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 0
Balls: 8
How out: bowled
Position: No 4
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 1
How out: bowled
Position: No 8
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 5 (yeh a boundary plus a leg-bye...)
How out: bowled
Position: No 7
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Sunday 10th September 2006, Touring Theatres h) :
DJ Wittzy's match report:
After a 5-week break from playing competitive cricket, Notty, Spenza and myself were raring to go for our final match of the 2006 season for Windlesham. On another splendid Sunday afternoon, which was warm but not unbearably hot, we (or rather captain Steve) lost the toss and were asked to field first by the visitors. Opening bowler Colin bowled 8 consistent, solid overs without any luck, whilst Alex at the other end wasn’t quite so economical. The Touring Theatres openers put on a stand of 70 in less than 15 overs before Richard broke the partnership when he was edged behind to the ‘keeper. Spenza was introduced into the attack, but after a tidy first over, he was hit for two sixes in his second over. However, Spenza did manage to pick up the second wicket of the innings when a half-volley was smashed at a fair velocity straight down my throat (I don’t mean I ate it), but fortunately for me it was at a nice height and I didn’t have any time to think about it before the ball reached me. Anyway, it felt like a very good catch, and the score moved onto 130 for 2. After five overs, Spenza was rested from the attack with figures of 1-42. His replacement was the DJ. After a tight first over, conceding just a couple of runs, I managed to pick up the third wicket on 174, when one of the batsman (who appeared to require a runner, after picking up an injury) took an audacious swipe at a fairly slow but gun-barrel straight delivery, hitting his middle stump. I was pretty happy with the way I bowled, and only conceded my first boundary in my third over when a sweep shot was top-edged to the short boundary for six. Having had their allotted two and a quarter hours batting time, it was agreed that we could squeeze one more over in for one of the Touring Theatres openers (who was on 98 not out) to get his century. So, it was up to me to prevent him from doing so. However, he managed to achieve the feat from the fifth ball of my over. They allowed me to finish my over, and from the final ball of the innings, I picked up a caught and bowled chance, which gave me figures of 2-27 from my 5 overs. So, Windlesham required 215 from 35 overs to record our first win of the season. Due to the fact we had 12 fielders (and still managed to concede runs at more than 6 an over) one of our team had to field for Touring Theatres. Steve’s son Matthew did this for 20 overs of the innings, whilst I decided to do the other fifteen (as I was batting at number nine on this occasion). For once, the Windlesham openers batted very impressively, putting on 61 in just 13 overs, before captain Steve lost one of his stumps when he was bowled by a very high full toss. However, the home side continued their good batting form by cruising to 148 for 2 after more than 20 overs. However, after the third wicket had fallen, it was time for Notty (who fielded very well to his credit) to enter the crease. O dear. I told him not to continue the collapse, but it was opener Ray at the other end who was next out. So in came Spenza, and naturally I expected a comical run-out to happen. Fortunately, Notty was able to score some runs for a change, getting off the mark by edging a cut shot for four and getting his all-time highest score of six, before he had his stumps rearranged. Spenza, meanwhile, had been dropped off a very simple chance, but departed for a duck, meaning the DJ came to the wicket. 148-2 had now become 161-7...... And after seemingly being set for an unlikely victory at the mid-point of our innings, we were now heading for a defeat, unless we could bat out the final few overs. We managed to escape with a well-earned draw, after I had scored my first runs in 3 innings with a nice on-drive for four off a full-toss. So only the third game in 21 appearances in which I haven’t ended up on the losing side – what a lovely way to end the season! Incredibly enough, Notty actually tops the bowling figures, with a stunning average of 14, whilst Spenza is king of the batting averages, having made a career best 19 not out in one of the matches. Just think, next time we play cricket could be for our University...obviously not the first XI......
Score Summary:
Touring Theatres 214-4 (35 overs)
Windlesham 177-7 (35 overs)
MATCH RESULT: Match DRAWN
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 4
Balls: 11
How out: NOT OUT
Position: No 9
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 5-0-27-2
Wickets: 1 bowled, 1 caught & bowled
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 6
How out: bowled
Position: No 5
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 0
How out: caught
Position: No 6
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 5-0-42-1
Wickets: 1 caught
- - - 2006 BATTING & BOWLING AVERAGES - - -
BATTING AVERAGES
Player Matches Innings Runs Highest Score 0's Not Outs Average
Spenza 5 5 26 19* 0 2 8.67
DJ Wittzy 5 5 26 21 2 1 6.50
Notty 4 4 11 6 1 0 2.75
BOWLING AVERAGES
Player Overs Maidens Runs Wickets Economy Best Bowling Average Catches
Notty 3.0 0 28 2 9.33 2-24 14.00 2
DJ Wittzy 14.1 0 92 4 6.49 2-27 23.00 3
Spenza 17.0 2 108 4 6.35 2-27 27.00 0