THE RETURN OF NOTTY, SPENZA, DJ WITTZY & MANISH...
- - - 2008 MATCH REPORTS & STATS - - -
Sunday 8th June 2008, Touring Theatres a) :
Windlesham team news:
Notty makes his first appearance of the 2008 season. DJ Wittzy and Spenza ruled out because neither have returned home in time from University.
Match conditions:
n/a
DJ Wittzy's match report:
Notty's opening game of the season saw him make good progress with the bat, having made double figures for the first time ever last season, the ginger warrior made a "solid" (quote from Notty) 4 before he was unluckily bowled with a delivery which kept a bit low. However, Windlesham's 97 proved insufficient to challenge the Touring Theatres who knocked of the runs in almost no time at all.
Score Summary:
Windlesham: 97 all out
Touring Theatres: 98 for 1
MATCH RESULT: LOSS by 9 wickets
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 4
How out: Bowled
Position: No ?
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Sunday 15th June 2008, Badshot Lea a) :
Windlesham team news:
DJ Wittzy makes his first appearance of the 2008 season, Notty retains his place in the starting XI, whilst Alex captains the side. Spenza again ruled out because of university commitments.
Match conditions:
Pitch - firm, bouncy
Outfield - dry, relatively quick
Overhead - sunny and cloudy spells, warm
DJ Wittzy's match report:
The DJ returned to the Windlesham team for his first appearance of the 2008 campaign, whilst Notty was promoted up the batting order to number 3, after impressing with four runs in the previous game. Both were hoping the match would not finish in such farcical circumstances as last year's game at Badshot Lea, when Notty cost us the game in the most moronic way possible - a suicidal run out when the last pair, himself and Colin, off the last ball of the innings with nothing to play for, both ended up in the middle of the pitch attempting a silly run - not even I could think he was that stupid... Notty again insisted it was Colin's fault before this afternoon's game began. As usual, the visitors made a below-par start; Ray (who top-scored with 25 the previous week) was dismissed in the first over without scoring. Worse was to follow as Andy had to retire hurt after pulling his hamstring, and then Richard was bowled meaning the DJ (number 5) went out to join Notty in the middle with the score still in the teens. The DJ Wittzy-Notty partnership was broken fairly quickly after Notty edged a nippy delivery which was superbly taken in the slips. Notty's rather disappointed and bemused look said it all - it was a very good catch, and Notty's excellent form with the bat (albeit just the one innings) had ended rather abruptly and he walked back to the changing rooms for a duck. Peter came out to join the DJ in the middle, and after grinding out some singles and the occasional extra, the partnership began to flourish. I hit a marvellous straight drive - my best shot of the innings - against their awkward young spinner for my first boundary, before following it up with a couple more 4s, and all of that with a broken bat as well! Peter supplied good support at the other end, but having put on nearly fifty runs for the 4th wicket, both were soon dismissed and another mini-collapse had seen Windlesham, in not unfamiliar fashion, crumble from 66 for 3 to 74-8. Some lusty blows from Nick, provided with useful knocks from Alex (who made 6) and Andy, who had returned with Alex as his runner, saw the score accelerate past 100 and then past 150 as the visitors headed for a competitive total. Nick completed a superb unbeaten half-century (55 not out) before Andy was the last man out in the final over. But 181 was a excellent effort having been really in the shit early on. Nick top-scored, whilst Extras contributed a staggering 51 to our team total. Full of confidence, the Windlesham boys headed out to complete the job after tea. But I undid some of the good work when I was hit for two 4s and two 6s in the first over. In just six balls, Badshot Lea had knocked off more than one ninth of the runs required... fortunately Alex ripped out the home side's top order at the other end, taking all the first four wickets, and the DJ made up for that abysmal first over, judging a skied pull shot and taking a catch which had hung in the air for a long time. Ironically, Notty replaced me but although he didn't concede as many boundaries, he failed to even bowl on the strip for most of the time, conceding an unnecessary large amount of wides and no-balls. The home side found runs incredibly easy to come by, although they found keeping wickets in hand much more difficult - after just seven overs the score was 69 for 4! Luckily, Alex saw sense and replaced Notty after 3 overs of rubbish. That move paid dividends, as Richard came on and took 3 wickets in his spell, whilst Alex completed his 5-fer which he was clearly and understandably delighted with. The game was nicely poised and would go down to the wire - whilst wickets were tumbling, the runs kept flowing to the short boundaries. Notty did not help the cause when the ball was hit straight at him, but for some reason best known to himself, he shrieked and jumped over the ball... had he not done that the end result may have been different, but we will never know. The DJ meanwhile, contributed to a crucial run out, throwing the ball to the non-striker's end where young Harry whipped the bails off. This meant the score was now 138 for 9, but the home side had more than half of their 40 overs in hand to knock off the 44 remaining runs, whilst Windlesham just needed that one wicket to triumph. That chance of victory was spilled, when Richard put down a difficult one-handed attempt in the slips, and unfortunately the home side picked off the boundaries at the short end of the ground to canter home with over 17 overs of their innings remaining. Another incredibly tight and tense game at Badshot Lea had seen Windlesham fall just short of victory, but fortunately this year it was not down to Notty being a pillock, scant consolation for him really. Still, Notty has an impressive (by his standards) batting average of two, whilst I was more than happy hitting 16 in my first game of the season, even if the bowling didn't quite work this time.
Score Summary:
Windlesham: 181 all out (39.3 overs)
Badshot Lea: 182 for 9 (22 overs)
MATCH RESULT: LOSS by 1 wicket
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 16
Balls faced: 47
How out: lbw
Position: No 5
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 1-0-20-0
Catches taken: 1
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 0
How out: caught
Position: No 3
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 3-0-35-0
Sunday 22nd June 2008, Club/Invitational XI h) :
Windlesham team news:
Manish finally makes his Windlesham debut, whilst DJ Wittzy and Notty retain their places in the starting XI. Spenza again misses out due to university commitments, whilst Andy captains the side as Alex misses out. Ajoy and Vijay return to the side.
Match conditions:
Pitch - dry and dusty, slow
Outfield - slow (because of long grass)
Overhead - sunny, warm
DJ Wittzy's match report:
Manish made his long-awaited debut to bolster the Windlesham batting on another gorgeous day in Surrey. Today's opponents were a mixture of ex-Windlesham players and friends of the club. Their line-up included current Windlesham players Ray and Harry, whose hard work for the club was acknowledged before the game with a special presentation, and a rather less welcome return for former captain Steve and his brother and his two sons... We fielded first in a 30-overs-a-side game, and a after a slightly wayward opening over from Sam, Vijay got the ball rolling, bowling Steve with a pacey delivery. He took the second wicket in his next over, when Notty decided for once he would catch the ball rather than jumping out the way of it or leaving it for someone else to fetch. And Notty's day got even better when he came on and took a wicket - removing the other Steve brother - in his first over! That was after two awful leg-side deliveries which were easily swept behind square for consecutive fours. Meanwhile the DJ came on at the other end hoping to improve on last week's terrible solitary over which cost 20. My bowling was certainly a lot better, and although I was hit for a six in my first over and ended wicketless, figures of 0-10 off my 3 overs was much more respectable. At the other end, Notty took another scalp, mainly thanks to the safe hands of DJ Wittzy who took a regulation catch in the covers, and ended with 2-23 from his 3 overs. New boy Manish contributed well in the field also, taking a good catch diving forward as the Club XI slipped to 42-6 from 14 overs after their bright start. They then lost their seventh wicket having just passed fifty, and then struggled to 76 for 8 after 19 overs. Jack came on and mopped up the tail in his first over, taking the final two wickets in 3 balls. Well... I thought he had mopped up the tail, but a twelfth batter came out! Jack removed him as well, still in his first over, but that wasn't the end of the batting - no there was more to come! Martin got in amongst the wickets, before Ray (at number 14, yes FOURTEEN) in the batting order came out. Thankfully he was the last batter, and captain Andy took the thirteenth and last wicket of the innings with a pea-roller that disturbed the timber. Before that, though, Notty had almost taken a blinder of a catch - I couldn't believe my eyes as I saw him fly through the air one-handed and almost grab a brilliant catch; unfortunately, this being Notty, the ball rolled out of his hand as he hit the surface, but full marks for the effort. 99 was our target, having removed 13 batsmen for just 98 runs in under 30 overs - normally it's the other way round and 13 Windlesham batsmen can't put 100 together, but not today! I opened the innings at the number 1 slot for the first-ever time, although I had previously opened at 2 on a couple of occasions, with Jack my partner at the other end. We got off to a solid, if unspectacular start, as we ran some quick singles and picked up the odd extra. Notty, who was umpiring at the time, was asked to consider an appeal for caught behind against Jack. Being the clueless moron he is, Notty just shrugged his shoulders, looked at me, then just stuck his index finger up in the air and said "I don't know? Out??". Fortunately, one of the fielders sportingly pointed out that Jack hadn't nicked it behind and Notty's silly call was overruled. Having put on twenty for the 1st wicket, Jack then departed, mistiming a drive and was easily caught. Manish came in at three and immediately the lagging run-rate accelerated with his presence, as he hit a nice on-drive to the boundary for four. Infact he had overtaken me and had advanced to 7, before another mistimed drive brought his downfall. Young Harry joined me, with the run-rate at just over 2 an over - we still needed 60 with half our overs remaining. Harry played a useful knock before he was brilliantly caught, whilst the gritty DJ remained stubborn at the other end, having finally entered double figures with the "Cement King" bat which had proved so effective, if not particularly powerful (probably because it was broken as it had a deep crack down the back of it), the previous week. Ajoy came in and promptly set about finishing the game. 25 were needed off the final 7 overs, but that wasn't an issue once Ajoy had found the boundary a few times with some powerful strokeplay. I meanwhile had hit only two boundaries as I passed my previous highest score of 23, and was absolutely knackered as a result of running almost all of my runs individually. Fortunately Ajoy sealed the game, with the DJ carrying his bat through the innings - nearly 2 hours of batting! - and Windlesham had won in convincing fashion. A good result, and I was delighted to have made a new personal best score, whilst Notty impressed in the field with a couple of wickets and a catch, and Manish had a decent debut, taking a catch and scoring his first runs for the club.
Score Summary:
Club XI: 98 all out (30 overs) (Yes we took all 13 wickets!)
Windlesham: 99 for 3
MATCH RESULT: WIN by 7 wickets
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 26
Balls faced: 72
How out: NOT OUT
Position: No 1
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 3-0-10-0
Catches taken: 1
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: DID NOT BAT (that's a first, unless it's DID NOT BAT PROPERLY LIKE ONE SHOULD...)
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 3-0-23-2
Wickets: 1 bowled, 1 caught
Catches taken: 1
Manish's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 7
How out: caught
Position: No 3
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Catches taken: 1
Sunday 29th June 2008, Bagshot a) :
Windlesham team news:
Spenza finally makes his first appearance of 2008, having warmed up for the season by playing cricket in his student house garden, coming into the side for Manish. Alex returns to the side to captain the XI. Jack misses out also.
Match conditions:
Pitch - Hard, dry
Outfield - fairly quick
Overhead - Cloudy, some warm and sunny spells, mild
DJ Wittzy's match report:
The terrible trio made their first appearances together (as a trio that is) as Spenza returned to the XI for the first time in more than nine months. Terrible trio is probably the wrong expression, as it is only Notty who can live up to that tag as "terrible" frequently. Anyway, we travelled up to face a strong Bagshot team with a poor recent record against our opponents. The team message before we went out to field was to be competent in the field and not give away any silly extras or unnecessary runs. That message, as Spenza clearly and correctly pointed out, was really aimed at Notty. Still, the message seemed to have been ignored by both Spenza and Notty who both each let the ball slip through their legs and go for a silly boundary. Aside from that solitary slip-up both fielded pretty well, but neither were required to bowl. Nor was the DJ, as I spent most of my time fielding in the covers/ midwicket. Maybe Windlesham could have done with some DJ (or Spenza, but not Notty) magic with the ball as the home side made a very comfortable start, putting on a century stand for the opening wicket, at more than six an over. After a brief mid-innings break, Sam removed one of their openers with the first ball after the pause. That, however, did not stop the flow of runs as the run-rate increased to 7 per over, with the visitors unable to make a further breakthrough with the ball. Our torture in the fielded was suddenly ended by the home side, as they "declared" on 241 for just the one loss when one of their guys brought up his century. Had they batted their full allotment of time I suspect they could have got near to 350 the way things seemed to be going. So after that slightly lethargic performance in the field, the Windlesham openers entered the crease with a big task ahead of them. Spenza was given the job of opening the innings, causing the DJ (who opened the previous week) to bat down the order at number 8. Notty was asked to bat at either 9 or 11, either way he wasn't going to contribute much. Any remote chance of Windlesham even competing were blown away after the visitors slipped to 12 for 3, Andy and Ajoy having been removed in successive balls in identical fashion. Fortunately Spenza remained, and he was joined by Sam. They made steady progress, taking the score into the forties, before another really inconvenient collapse derailed the innings. Sam (16) spooned a simple catch into the air whilst Spenza (13) missed a straight one, and the score was suddenly 56 for 7. With probably over 30 overs remaining, it was time for the DJ to dig in. And that's what I do best. I dug in so much that I broke my own record for the highest number of balls needed to get off the mark - nearly forty. It was painstakingly slow progress, but we all knew we couldn't rely on people like Notty to keep the Bagshot bowlers out. And so it proved when he was bowled by a lovely off-break. Still, had Notty decided to keep his bat and pad close together it would have been a different story. He then moaned I didn't warn him that would spin. So Notty's dismissal was again the result of someone or something else's incompetence. Anyway the game was beyond saving now, but I finally managed to pass Spenza's effort, although my over-cautious approach once again drew unnecessary criticism from Spenza who was umpiring at the time; one of the young Bagshot fielders (who had castled Notty) agreed with him, claiming he "had seen more shots in a cocktail bar" and that he had "seen better driving from his mum" (after I loosely drove at something outside off stump). Funny, but true. Alex was the last man in and passed my score in no time at all with a succession of fours, meaning Windlesham had scraped past 100. The next ball I lofted an easy catch down mid-on's throat and the game drew to its inevitable conclusion. Despite the heavy loss, I had continued my decent batting (although much slower than I would have liked) and Spenza got off to a solid start too, with his first time in the opening slot. He was also relieved to see his car had not been clamped outside the pub. Notty, well Notty had an average game, making his customary short stay at the wicket, continuing his batting average of two. I also passed 100 runs for Windlesham, whilst Spenza passed 100 career runs. Notty, meanwhile, has only scored 37 career runs in 22 innings... I suspect it will be another few seasons - maybe decades - before he can reach the century milestone.
Score Summary:
Bagshot: 241 for 1 declared (34 overs)
Windlesham: 101 all out
MATCH RESULT: LOSS by 140 runs
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 15
Balls faced: 94
How out: caught
Position: No 8
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Catches taken: 0
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 2
How Out: Bowled
Position: No 9
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Catches taken: 0
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 13
How out: lbw
Position: No 2
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Catches taken: 0
Sunday 13th July 2008, ? a) :
Windlesham team news:
DJ Wittzy ruled out after just returning from holiday. Spenza retains his place in the starting XI.
Match conditions:
n/a
DJ Wittzy's match report:
Will appear here when/if Spenza can be bothered to write it...
Score Summary:
Opponents: ?
Windlesham: ?
MATCH RESULT: Match DRAWN
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 2
How out: NOT OUT
Position: No ?
Bowling:
Bowling figures: ?
Catches taken: ?
Sunday 27th July 2008, Wisley a) :
Windlesham team news:
DJ Wittzy makes his return to the side, as does Notty after a few weeks absence. Spenza plays also, along with Jack and Sam. Alex captains the side.
Match conditions:
Pitch - Firm, slightly green, dry
Outfield - Fairly quick
Overhead - Very warm, sunny with a few clouds
DJ Wittzy's match report:
On a baking hot July afternoon the crew travelled to Wisley having not played much cricket in the lead-up to the game due to various fixture cancellations and other what-nots. Due to the warm conditions we all hoped Alex would opt to bat first, unfortunately he lost the toss and we were invited to field. Spenza and Sam were the new ball pair, and the former nearly made early inroads with his very first delivery, inducing an edge from the Wisley opener. He should have had a wicket with the final ball of his first over, when the batsman clearly nicked it behind, but the umpire gave it not out despite hearing a noise - the quite blatant noise of willow flicking leather, it could not possibly have been anything else as the batter was playing an ambitious cut shot miles away from his body. Still, Spenza did manage to make the breakthrough when wicketkeeper Nick took a catch to a legside delivery which took a faint edge. The clever, yet unintended legside trap had paid off and Spenza finished off a tidy spell with figures of 1-25. Sam also bowled tidily at the other end and was eventually rewarded with a caught and bowled chance. Captain Alex replaced him, and despite incredibly bowling four beamers in his first over, also managed to pitch one perfectly on the off stump and bowl the Wisley batsman. He also got a wicket in his next over when Andrew took a good slip catch as the visitors pulled themselves back into the game with Wisley now 99-4. Unfortunately that brought one of their best batsmen to the crease, and he duly smashed a few sixes before retiring out towards the end of the innings. Notty and Spenza did not help matters in the field when a mistimed shot was skied and both made a complete hash of taking the catch; neither really got near enough to the ball as it dropped and it was left to Notty to inevitably look like a pillock as he dived forward and spurned the chance. Oh dear. Notty later reminded us again what a shit fielder he is when gifted Wisley another four runs when he let the ball somehow go through him on the boundary. After that important partnership had given the home side the upper hand, Peter came on and took a wicket with his first ball, Andrew taking another good slip catch, and Alex took his third wicket as the hosts made a competitive 183 for 7. Spenza also had time to try and upstage Notty's sub-standard fielding effort when he spilled a chance towards the end of the innings. Alex decided that the DJ and Notty should open the innings, neither having been required to bowl. Notty reluctantly put on the pads fearing the worst - his teammates had little confidence in him either; Sam, Jack and Spenza were betting on how short Notty's stay at the crease would be - Sam thought about 2 overs, Spenza 3 and Jack 5. However against the quick opening bowler Notty acquitted himself well, managing to keep him out for the first over, despite being beaten for pace on a couple of occasions. I managed to open Windlesham's account with a single next over before the really quick guy ousted me when I edged a short-pitched delivery to slip. Having demanded Notty stay at the crease and not do anything silly for at least the first five overs, I had departed before him after lasting just four balls, ending my good batting streak. Jack came in but was next to go when he was bowled by the same guy, and Spenza and Peter (who both made ducks) followed in identical fashion to the same bowler. Alex had set a target for each batter to contribute 15 runs each - unfortunately that was all the first four wickets could muster between them as another alarming slide to defeat seemed on the cards already... unless Notty could stay there - no-one was holding their breath. But having got settled at the crease, Notty did something incredible - he blasted the really good bowler down the ground for a stylish boundary in arrogant fashion to get off the mark. He must have suprised himself there, certainly the Windlesham boys watching on from the sidelines were astonished as they all let up a load roar! For once Notty was actually batting properly, and ably assisted by Nick who joined him at the crease, the two moved the score onto 29 for 4 after 20 overs at the drinks interval. Unfortunately Nick departed almost immediately after the pause when he was well caught. Notty should have gone next ball but an easier catch was spilled at mid-on as his good fortune continued - he was also bowled by the same spinner to a superbly flighted delivery which flicked his off stump, but was recalled to the crease as the fielding side thought the 'keeper had knocked the bails off with his gloves. Notty was just lucky I - umpire at the time - didn't raise my finger; I thought it unnecessary to do so as it appeared pretty obvious it had bowled him. But fortune favoured the ginger one as he soldiered on, making double figures and in the process a new personal best - about fucking time. Andy, who had looked fairly solid at the other end, ran himself out with the score now 53 for 6 and the draw (which had looked unlikely early on at 15-4) still a few overs away, it was going to be a tense finish. Notty even had the audacity to hit a couple more boundaries as he reached uncharted territory in the twenties and yet his luck still held as he was dropped for a third time, not to mention the numerous swings and misses. But he and Alex batted out for a fighting draw, an exhausted Notty incredibly unbeaten for over two hours with a superb battling 30 not out - doubling his career runs (accumulated in a mammoth 30 or so innings) in the process. So no doubt who the Windlesham man of the match was - never thought I'd say this - but Notty actually saved Windlesham from defeat with a resilient batting display. Notty was so pleased with his efforts he decided to change his surname to Boycott. Well you can't quite do that yet Notty, you still need to score over 100 first class centuries and play for England so you've still got some work to do... quite a lot of work to do infact, but today was a good start. Just a couple of questions - why the hell can you not play like that every week? And what the hell took you so long to finally score some runs? I still find it amazing that he played like that today considering he's managed a paltry 37 career runs in over 4 years of cricket... maybe you should open more often Notty. I'm still confident we'll see the old useless Notty return again soon for some more ridicule, until then enjoy the unusual feeling of being successful and of having accomplished something spectacular Notty!
Score Summary:
Wisley: 183 for 7* (one of their guys retired out, so technically we only got six wickets)
Windlesham: 73-6 (approximately...)
MATCH RESULT: Match DRAWN
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 1
Balls faced: 4
How out: caught
Position: No 2
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Catches taken: 0
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 30 (it's a fucking miracle!)
How Out: NOT OUT
Position: No 1
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Catches taken: 0 (1 dropped - oh dear)
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 0
How out: Bowled
Position: No 4
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 6-0-25-1
Catches taken: 0 (1 dropped - oh dear)
Sunday 3rd August 2008, Badshot Lea h) :
Windlesham team news:
Alex and Sam are unavailable so Nick captains an otherwise unchanged Windlesham side. DJ Wittzy, Notty and Spenza all retain their places.
Match conditions:
Pitch - Very green, very damp
Outfield - Very slow, wet
Overhead - Grey/overcast, showers
DJ Wittzy's match report:
On a very miserable Sunday afternoon, and despite a shower before the start, the 35-over-a-side game got underway at about 2.30pm with Badshot Lea winning the toss and choosing to bat first. Spenza, having bowled impressively in the drawn game at Wisley the previous week, was again given the privilege of opening the bowling for Windlesham. His partner this time was Jack, as Sam wasn't playing. Both bowled very tidy spells and although they troubled the Badshot Lea openers on occasions, the visitors got off to a solid start in difficult batting conditions on a slow wicket which offered variable bounce. Despite their consistent bowling, neither Spenza (0-23) or Jack (0-26) could make the crucial breakthrough in their 7-over stints. The DJ came on to replace Jack, with Andy taking over from Spenza at the "Pavilion end" (as Spenza had christened it before hand). By drinks, the visitors had set a solid platform in reaching 63 without loss after 18 overs. Although my bowling was reasonably tight and fairly consistent, the Wittzy Express (on time as ever) was slightly more expensive than the opening pair and on the odd occasion tossed up a full toss. However, I do consider myself rather unlucky not to have taken a wicket or two, as Dom put down two difficult half-chances in the long-on region and I thought I had a very good case for a caught behind when their batsman got a clear inside edge and was caught by Ray, however it probably bounced before it got to him, which saved their batsman. Although he was not out, he had clearly been bamboozled by the infamous DJ Wittzy mystery ball. I should definitely have had a wicket when a skied shot hung around in the air for a while, but I was far too casual in getting underneath the ball and I had to dive forward to reach it, missing it as it fell a few feet infront of me. Ooops. But the opportunity of taking a wicket that ball had not passed, as both their batsman had arrived up at the same end, leaving Notty to make a complete and utter hash of the run-out attempt when his unnecessarily aggressive, over-ambitious overarm shy at the stumps went towards the slip cordon...... I still believe if Notty had picked the ball up and ran at the stumps he would have run their guy out. Or an underarm attempt would have been more sensible. This being Notty, though, everything had to go wrong in the most calamitous way possible. I still should have taken the catch in the first place, but Notty's thoughtlessness had once again let the opposition off the hook with that ridiculously wayward throw. Finally, Andy made the breakthrough and Peter came on to take three wickets in an impressive late spell, with Dom chipping in with two of his own. The final Badshot Lea total of 147 for 6 was a decent effort by the Windlesham bowlers to restrict the visitors to a run-rate of 4.2 per over, and a good comeback after the opening partnership had been worth more than 100. So we had a reasonable chance of victory after a good effort in the field, Notty aside. But, after his batting heroics last week, Notty had the chance to do something useful for the team as he was again given the responsibility of opening the innings. Spenza set Notty a 25-run minimum target and even claimed he would give away all his possessions if he repeated last week's miraculous effort. As if that wasn't pressure enough, Wellman then arrived to watch Notty bat. But Notty's batting practice warm-up did not bode well for the team as he missed pretty much everything thrown to him... and after just 3 balls of the innings, he was back in the pavilion. Notty claimed the short-pitched ball he received had kept low after bouncing, but for some reason he didn't really play a stroke, instead just leaving his bat hanging out to dry and watching it knock back his leg stump. Useless, incompetent Notty was back and the miracle of Wisley was gone, probably forever. The Windlesham innings faltered further when Richard was bowled, and my batting partner Andy was run out (he said it was his call so it wasn't my fault in that case). This left Raver and Spenza at the crease. Unfortunately Badshot Lea brought on their awkward 11-year old spinner and in my second over of facing him I top-edged a sweep, after missing out on two full tosses the previous deliveries, and was caught behind the 'keeper. Our chances of victory had decreased ever further with the score an unimpressive 27 for 4 after about 11 overs. Peter came in but departed soon after, fortunately this brought Nick to the crease and he steadied the ship slightly. Spenza was next to go for 5, but Andy came in and played a good supporting role for Nick, who blasted a succession of boundaries to haul us back into contention with the run-rate approaching 8 an over. I replaced a shivering, cold and very wet umpire Notty towards the end of the innings as the rain came down more heavily. Unfortunately I was umpiring at the time when Nick (42) played across the line to a straight ball, and although I naturally didn't want to give him out I had to - as it was plumb lbw, hitting his back leg, and knocking out leg stump. This pretty much ended hope of a Windlesham win, as Andy and Jack fell short of the required rate at the end. So another close game against Badshot Lea but we again finish up on the losing side in treacherous conditions. Notty had returned to his old spectacularly pathetic self and we finished up losing because of it, so his brief flirtation with a batting average in double figures is at an end as he records yet another duck. Notty said I had been very complementary about him the previous week, well he certainly doesn't deserve it this week.
Score Summary:
Badshot Lea: 147 for 6 (35 overs)
Windlesham: 132 for 7 (35 overs)
MATCH RESULT: LOSS by 15 runs
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 3
Balls faced: 20
How out: caught
Position: No 4
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 6-0-27-0
Catches taken: 0
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 0 (same old Notty...)
How Out: Bowled
Position: No 1
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Catches taken: 0
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 5
How out: Bowled
Position: No 5
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 7-0-23-0
Catches taken: 0
Sunday 10th August 2008, Touring Theatres h) :
Windlesham team news:
Alex misses out again, as does last week's captain Nick so Andy leads the side in their absence. Sam returns to the side with DJ Wittzy, Notty and Spenza all present too.
Match conditions:
Pitch - Very green, soft, damp, variable bounce
Outfield - Slow, wet
Overhead - Grey, sunny spells, showers
DJ Wittzy's match report:
On another fairly miserable day (in terms of weather), Andy - our third captain in three weeks - lost the toss and we were asked to field first in a 10-a-side match. Well, Touring Theatres had nine players and, rather bizarrely, a girl playing for them! The impressive and reliable new ball pair of Spenza and Jack got the proceedings underway on another bowler-friendly surface (obviously bowler-friendly if Notty ISN'T the bowler...). Anyway, having bowled consistently well last week but without any reward against a century opening stand, Spenza got the ball rolling early on with a wicket off just the fourth ball of the innings. Having been driven for four the previous delivery, Spenza's slow-medium pacers fooled the batsman who drove uppishly to Andy who took a magnificent catch in the cover region. But Jack at the other end was not to be outdone, when he bowled one of their batsmen beating him for pace. The visitors were on the back foot already and the home side took full advantage when Spenza notched a caught and bowled, leaving the Touring Theatres in turmoil on 24 for 3 after nine overs. And things just got better and better for Windlesham - an all too rare occurence - when Peter took a well-judged catch racing forward off Jack's bowling, before capturing a wicket of his own in his first over. 39 for 5 and the 'Sham were on fire! Andy replaced Jack (2-18) at the other end and ripped through their lower order with three wickets in just a couple of overs to reduce the visitors to 50 for 8. Incredible! Now it was time for the Raver Express to come on. Notty had been waiting excitedly for this moment since the start of the innings but was left disappointed as I only lasted a single over as 17 (including two sixes) was smashed off my six deliveries by their number 7 batsman in an attempt to boost the below-par team total. Although I didn't think I bowled badly, the DJ still remains wicketless this season, but I should have run out the girl (who came in as last "man" at number 10) off the last ball of my over when they scrambled a single but both ended up at the same end (she didn't run). This not being my day so far, I fumbled the ball and despite hitting the stumps with an underarm throw she was home comfortably. She was eventually run out for a duck, but only after the other batter had blasted 31 not out, meaning the visitors ended on 81 all out. So after that all-round superb performance in the field (even Notty didn't do anything silly to disgrace himself this time, so well done for that), Windlesham were left with a very reachable target of 82. As this was a time game, we gained an extra hour from bowling out the Touring Theatres early, meaning we were in the unusual position of starting our innings before the tea break. Peter and Richard batted cautiously and carefully, advancing to 22 without loss after 14 overs. But on the first ball of the final over before tea, Richard was out, leaving DJ Wittzy to negotiate the remaining five balls before the break. And negotiate them I did as myself and Peter went into the interval unbeaten with a further 60 runs to get with approximately 35 overs left. We added a few runs post-tea before the heavens opened and we all gathered under the tree whilst rain stopped play. That shower had made the pitch even more difficult to play on, and having struggled all innings to get going, I eventually departed for an "aggressive" 1 from 32 balls lbw to a ball which skidded on to me. Another frustratingly slow innings from the DJ had come to end as my Cement King bat had failed me. Inevitably the run rate soared when the next batsman came in. That batter was Notty. He showed me how to do it with a masterclass in attacking batting with an ariel cut shot first ball, which only went for one due to the drenched outfield, but followed that up with a pull shot all the way for four next ball - astonishing! Having rather carelessly decided to continue that aggressive mindset, Notty then skied another pull shot straight after and was caught. That four had clearly gone to his head and Notty had suddenly become a bit too confident in his very limited batting abilities. So after that brief cameo of 5, Peter soon followed Notty to the pavillion as Windlesham's traditional collapse continued: 41 for 4. Fortunately, Andy came in and steadied the ship with Sam, although another rain break threatened to end Windlesham hopes of victory with just over 20 runs still required. Luckily, the rain relented and we were able to return to the sodden pitch, which was now covered with vast amounts of sawdust at either end. The Windlesham pair batted heroically in the treacherous conditions, but Andy was eventually caught with just a few runs still needed. By now the heavy rain had returned and had we not been chasing such a small target the game would have been abandoned, but captain Andy and Sam scrambled the winning runs as the match finished in similar circumstances to last week's affair with Badshot Lea. But finally Windlesham had won their first match of the season, despite the best efforts of the British weather and DJ Wittzy's incredibly pedestrian batting exploits to sabotage that possibly. But on this particular day, cricket was the winner.
Score Summary:
Touring Theatres: 81 for 9 (all out)
Windlesham: 82 for 5 (14 overs remaining)
MATCH RESULT: WIN by 4 wickets
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 1
Balls faced: 32
How out: lbw
Position: No 3
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 1-0-17-0
Catches taken: 0
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 5
How Out: caught
Position: No 4
Bowling:
Bowling figures: DID NOT BOWL
Catches taken: 0
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: DID NOT BAT
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 6-2-14-2
Wickets: 1 caught, 1 caught & bowled
Catches taken: 0
Sunday 17th August 2008, Richmond Nomads h) :
Windlesham team news:
Captain Alex is unavailable again, so Nick returns to lead the side in Andy's absence. Martin and Aiden come into the side with Sam retaining his role as wicketkeeper/batsman.
Match conditions:
Pitch - Green, slow
Outfield - Slow
Overhead - Cloudy, dry
DJ Wittzy's match report:
For the first time in three weeks the weather did not disrupt a Windlesham game as the hosts looked to continue their impressive one-game winning streak. We batted first on another seamer-friendly wicket, with the two Richards (including everyone's favourite Raver at number 2) opening the innings. As happens so often, the opposition immediately had the 'Sham on the back foot when other Richard was out for a duck early on. Sam, who was umpiring raised his index finger but was not sure whether it was lbw or a catch. Either way, it was 1 for 1 in the 3rd over, as the hosts struggled early on against a very disciplined opening bowling attack from the Richmond Nomads. Having seen my batting fail in the past 3 weeks, I adopted a new tactic. The "Cement King" bat was banished to the bottom of the kit bag, and with Notty's persuasion I picked up a nice new-ish bat from the bag hoping to fare better this time around. Not suprisingly I found it hard to score against the accurate and quick bowling, surviving a near-suicidal run-out with Martin (which was my own fault) and being dropped at short leg from a difficult diving catch. Having finally slashed a wide-ish delivery over the slips for a couple the DJ soon succumbed to a full-ish, straight, swinging delivery which took a faint inside edge onto middle stump - the first time I had been bowled this year. 6 for 2 after 5 overs and things didn't look good. Nick (19) came in and put the Windlesham ship back on track with good support from Martin (15), before the latter lofted a short delivery straight into the air for an absolute dolly of a catch. Notty (otherwise known as Tom Boycott to himself - stupid comparison) came in but edged behind for a single, before Nick was bowled off stump soon after. 41 for 2 was now 48-5. Notty moaned that he didn't like the style of the bowler who got him out because he couldn't cope with the "fast spin". Spenza, who was next in, fared little better, matching Notty's score of a single before Pete went first ball, and the Sam ran himself out for a duck via a direct throw at the stumps, having played a lovely shot but seen it dramatically slowed down by the long outfield grass. 60-8, and another embarrassing defeat was on the cards. Jack joined Andy at the crease and hit a couple of good boundaries before a soft dismissal saw him chip the ball back delicately straight into the bowler's hands. Jack departed for 13 with last man Aiden joining the fun out in the middle at 81 for 9. Andy then blasted three consecutive boundaries off the Richmond spinner, taking the total past 100, before he too was caught having made an invaluable 37 to the Windlesham cause. The solid new ball pairing of Spenza and Jack was undone this week as Aiden took Spenza's place as number 1 bowler, but the opening pair proved fairly ineffective, although economical as the visitors made a solid start in pursuit of 106. Aiden (1-26) did manage to make the breakthrough, bowling one of the openers middle stump, but after him and Jack completed their six-over spells, the wheels gradually began to fall off. Spenza, although very accurate with his line, took some harsh treatment from the Richmond number 3 batter who was wasting no time in trying to finish the game, and things got worse for the home side when Martin hobbled off with damaged cruciate knee ligaments, having bowled just nine deliveries. Andy completed the rest of Martin's unfinished over, before Notty was brought on for a rare bowl. And you could evidently see why it was a rare bowl when Notty hurled his first two deliveries smack-bang straight into the middle of the pitch, way short of a good length, requiring at least 3 bounces to get to the batsman. Good pace, (well I say that, but by the time it had reached the batsman all those bounces had reduced the speed considerably) but the length was hopelessly wrong. Notty finally managed to pitch it up a bit, but conceded a couple of wides as his radar was all over the place. I replaced Pete (who bowled a solitary over) at the other end, as the Raver Express returned again, having seemingly been derailed upon its long stopping-service in recent weeks with my failure to take a wicket and keep the runs down. However, the Express service charged in with full steam this week, and I could have had 3 wickets in what turned out to be my only over. Firstly, an inside edge just missed the leg stump, before a poor legside delivery was hooked towards the boundary where Jack was waiting to drop the catch, before I had a reasonable lbw appeal rejected. I probably would have continued my spell had Notty not been kept on, which predictably allowed the visitors to win the game during his second over by a comfortable margin of nine wickets. So after last week's triumph it was back to normal as the Nomads outclassed the 'Sham with a professional performance. The same could not be said of Notty's bowling but it was always going to be difficult defending 105. The Windlesham crew now take a two-week break before the final match of the 2008 season against Odiham, when we all hope Notty won't be asked to bowl.
Score Summary:
Windlesham: 105 all out (31.1 overs)
Richmond Nomads: 106 for 1 (19.5 overs)
MATCH RESULT: LOSS by 9 wickets
DJ WITTZY'S STATS:
Batting:
Runs scored: 2
Balls faced: 20
How out: Bowled
Position: No 2
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 1-0-5-0
Catches taken: 0
Notty's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 1
How Out: caught
Position: No 5
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 1.5-0-18-0
Catches taken: 0
Spenza's stats:
Batting:
Runs scored: 1
How Out: lbw
Position: No 7
Bowling:
Bowling figures: 2-0-21-0
Catches taken: 0
Sunday 31st August 2008, Odiham h) :
DJ Wittzy's match report:
**MATCH CANCELLED BECAUSE OF BAD WEATHER**
So after the disappointment of our final game being called off just before the scheduled start time, the Windlesham season finishes rather abruptly. Although the side only recorded one victory all season (with the exception of the club day), it was by no means a disastrous season as we twice ran Badshot Lea close and earned creditable draws against Wisley amongst others. Individually, it was a decent season - Notty suprised everyone (including himself) by not only reaching double figures, but carrying his bat through the whole innings against Wisley as all sorts of personal records were shattered. Unfortunately, he could not repeat the feat and it was the usual incompetent Notty we are all acustomed to seeing for the rest of the season. The ginger warrior did manage to notch a couple of wickets, as well as a catch (plus several dropped chances and a missed run-out) but generally it was a good season for Notty. Spenza's effective bowling saw him form a lethal new-ball partnership, but despite only taking 3 wickets he was very economical. His batting, however, let him down a little as he only made one score in double digits but he did manage an important not-out score to help Windlesham draw a game. As for the DJ, well I started the season in magnificent nick with the bat, posting three consecutive double-figure scores - including a personal best 26 not out in the victorious club game - but despite a dramatic dip in form with the willow I managed to reach the end of the season with an average in double figures. The Raver Express wasn't so impressive as I failed to take a solitary wicket, only bowling twelve overs which saw some very short, expensive spells with the ball. Manish finally made his Windlesham debut and showed glimpses of his impressive batting talents in the win over the club XI. So overall, a pretty decent season with some records being broken and signs of improvements from the terrible trio. Join me, DJ Wittzy, again in 2009 for yet more fun at Windlesham CC.
- - - 2008 BATTING & BOWLING AVERAGES - - -
BATTING AVERAGES
Player Matches Innings Runs Highest Score 0's Not Outs Average
DJ Wittzy 7 7 64 26* 0 1 10.67
Notty 8 7 42 30* 2 1 7.00
Manish 1 1 7 7 0 0 7.00
Spenza 6 5 21 13 1 1 5.25
BOWLING AVERAGES
Player Overs Maidens Runs Wickets Economy Best Bowling Average Catches
Spenza 21.0 2 83 3 3.95 2-14 27.67 0
Notty 7.5 0 76 2 9.70 2-23 38.00 1
DJ Wittzy 12.0 0 79 0 6.58 0-5 n/a 2
Manish 0.0 0 0 0 n/a n/a n/a 1