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HOW CAN I HELP |
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IT IS NOT ALWAYS EASY TO APPROACH SOMEONE WHO HAS LOST A CHILD. YOU MAY FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY. YOU YOURSELF MAY FEEL EMPTY AND HELPLESS. THERE ARE NO MAGICAL WORDS THAT WLL MAKE A BEREVED PARENTS PAIN GO AWAY. IT IS NATURAL TO FEEL HELPLESS WHEN A CHILD OF A FRIENDS OR RELATIVES DIES. SHOWING YOUR CONCERN AND LOVE IS MOST COMFORTING TO A GRIEVING FAMILY. DON'T AVOID THEM. IT IS MORE EASIER FOR A FAMILY TO GRIEVE POSITIVELY IF THEY GET SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING. LISTED BELOW ARE A FEW THINGS I EITHER READ ABOUT OR I MYSELF EXPERIENCED DURING MY GRIEF. AGAIN, THEY ARE NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVISE OR OPTIONS IN ANY MANNER, THEY ARE JUST TIPS, I MYSELF THINK HELPS. IF YOU HAVE ANY YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADD, PLEASE EMAIL ME. |
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THINGS THAT MAY HELP |
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THINGS NOT TO DO OR SAY |
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*OFFER REAL COMFORT AND SUPPORT..."I'M SORRY" AND A HUG.
*LISTEN...LISTEN...LISTEN PARENTS OFTEN FEEL THE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE CHILD.
*BE THERE FOR THEM, RUN ERRANDS, HELP WITH THE HOUSE OR OTHER CHILDREN.
*MENTION THE NAME OF THE CHILD WHEN TALKING ABOUT HE OR SHE.
*BE PATIENT, GRIEF HAS NO TIME LIMIT.
*ENCOURAGE RETURN TO OUTSIDE WORLD.
*BE SENSITIVE TO EXPERIENCES...THEY MAY ADOPT NEW BEHAVIORS.
*CONTINUE CONTACT WITH THE FAMILY
*REMEMBER THE FAMILY ON IMPORTANT DAY'S.(CHILDS BIRTHDAY, ANNIVERSARY OF DEATH).
*MOST OF ALL JUST BE THERE WHEN THEY NEED YOU. |
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*TRY NOT TO FIND MAGICAL WORDS, THAT WILL TRY TO TAKE THE PAIN AWAY.
*DON'T BE AFRAID TO CRY..YOUR TEARS ARE TRIBUTE TO BOTH THE CHILD AND THE PARENTS.
*AVOID USING "I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL"
*AVOID"IT WAS GOD'S WILL"
*DON'T TRY TO FIND SOMETHING POSITIVE IN THE CHILDS DEATH.
*AVOID JUDGEMENTS "YOU SHOULD OR YOU SHOULDN'T".
*DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE NOT HURTING BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS.
*AVOID USING "YOUR STILL YOUNG"
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I HAVE FOUND THAT MANY TIMES WHEN PEOPLE SAY THINGS THAT HURT US, THEY USUALLY DON'T INTEND TOO. MOST OF THEM JUST DON'T USE THEIR HEADS WHEN THEY DO AND SAY THINGS. I REMEMBER WHEN I WENT BACK TO WORK, SOMONE SAID, "SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR BABY; BUT IT HAPPENS A LOT THE FIRST TIME...I LOST MY FIRST ONE TOO. I DON'T KNOW IF SHE MEANT THAT TO BE COMFORTING TO ME OR NOT. I JUST WANTED TO CRY. I HAVE FOUND THAT JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS GONE THROUGH THE SAME THING AS YOU, THEY MAY HAVE GRIEVED DIFFERENTLY AND FEEL TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN YOU DO. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT, YOU MAY KNOW MY PAIN; BUT YOU DON'T KNOW MY EXPERIENCE. IF THAT MAKES ANY SINCE AT ALL. THERE ARE MORE STORIES TO TELL OF WHAT PEOPLE DID AND SAID AFTER I LOST MICHAEL....READ LIVING WITHOUT MICHAEL TO HEAR MY EXPERIENCES. |
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| ANGEL BABY'S |
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