bobstory1

It was a year after Galaxia’s attack. Serena and every1 were still in high school. Everything was nice and peaceful, until one day there were reports of a strange comet floating in the outer reaches of space. It had come from a galaxy far, far away, because NASA had sure never seen anything like this bad boy. The same day, health food stores and supermarkets reported the strange disappearance of soybean curd. No one could figure it our. Where had all the curd gone?
The next day, there were 3 new exchange students at Serena’s school. Their names were Communist Bob, Wendy Waters, and Jake Justice. As usual, no one noticed these students had strange names. They also never wondered, (or simply never asked), why Communist Bob wore a girl’s uniform instead of a boy’s uniform.
Far, far away in space, Alan and Anne (yup the doom tree weirdos) were on the strange comet. They were surrounded by packages of curd. They were evil again and said they would never rest until they destroyed the earth and all its gum wrappers. Then they were trying to organize all the curd packages.
Meanwhile, back on earth, Serena and the others were walking home with the new students. All of a sudden, a cardian jumped out to attack them. The sailors transformed, and the new students acted all shocked that they were sailor scouts. Then, the new students transformed into the Communist Senshi, and the others acted all shocked that they were senshi 2. Everyone stood around for awhile and commented on their level of shockedness, until the cardian got sick of it all and blasted at sailor moon. Then all the sailors attacked the cardian and killed it. Then Allan and Anne appeared and talked about how they would destroy the earth and all its gum wrappers. Serena and the others acted all shocked that they were evil again. Then all the senshis, even the communist 1s, teleported to the strange comet. They saw Allan and Anne with all the curd. Sailor Moon asked them what they were doing and they told their story:
(flashback) After they left earth, the good Allen and Anne and the good Doom Tree were floating around space looking for a new planet. They were near a very hot star when out of nowhere a gum wrapper (no doubt discarded by an astronaut at some point in time), flew towards them. It got stuck on one of the Doom Tree’s branches. The rays from the star ignited the gum wrapper, and before you could say pigs in a blanket the whole tree was on fire. Allen and Anne couldn’t save the tree, and they had to run for their lives. As they drifted on, in shock over the loss of their precious tree, they were sucked into the crystal cordon, where Chaos was reforming. Chaos turned Allen and Anne evil again and told them they must plant evil star seeds to make evil scouts. However, there was only one planet on the entire universe that had the substance needed for growing evil seeds: soybean curd. The one planet that had this magical paste was earth. So, Allen and Anne came to steal the curd and grow evil seeds to help Chaos take over. Also, while they were in that neck of the woods they decided to destroy the earth and its gum-wrapper-producing population, and while they were at it, why not get rid of the sailor scouts too, since goodness knows the universe could do with one less fashion emergency.(end flashback)
Sailor Moon tried talking them into being good, and like all the other enemies, they were 2 hypnotized too listen. They got some cardians to attack the senshi, who retreated to a hidden cave. Mercury started tapping away on her mini computer. She said she would find a substance that could chemically alter the soybean curd so that it could not grow the evil seeds. Finally she found it. Only one substance could neutralize the curd: whole milk. If the sailors could spray the curd with milk, they could save everything, but where do you get a lot of milk when you’re in the farthest reaches of space and millions of miles from the nearest farm stores? But, of course the sailors used their communicators to call luna, and as usual she bailed them out. First, Sailor Moon used the luna pen to transform herself into a cow, ( a cow with meatballs on its head), and Sailor Comunist Waters turned her hose to “power suck”. After they had milked the sailor moon cow for a while and they had enough milk, she turned back into herself. Then they confronted Allen and Anne again and all the sailors gave their power to help squirt milk on the curd and while they did some cool motivational battle music played. Allen and Anne screamed as did chaos and they were all destroyed. The sailors were left on the strange comet with a lot of milk-drenched, but otherwise very harmless soybean curd. Then the Communist senshi said they had to go back to earth and they would explain about their past another day. Then sailor moon and the others went to the moon, where they talked to queen serenity’s spirit. They asked if she knew of the Communist senshis and she said there were black sheep in every family, but wouldn’t say anything else. Then she told sailor moon her high-pitched voice was giving her a migrane, so they should go back to earth. So they returned to earth. They had saved the universe again, and more importantly, sailor moon had gotten to be a cow. So, everyone went back to normal, except for the soybean curd buyers of the world, who were not pleased with the new, milk-drenched curd, which the manufacturers tried to pass off as “calcium fortified.” So, basically the fight was over, at least until the next batch of health-food snatching freaks came along.

THE END
(or so you might think……..Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha)