 |
| Fortune Cookie Fun |
| ____________________________________________________________________________________________ |
| ____________________________________________________________________________________________ |
 |
| Here are some fortunes in some fortune cookies: |
 |
 |
| Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket. I'd strongly suggest you put on a pair of Docker's new Heat-Resistent Cometpants first, though, unless you're into third degree burns. |
 |
|
|
| If you ever decide to make a house out of butter, try building it next to a house of toast. That would make for a hilarious result. |
|
|
|
| It wasn't chicken... |
|
|
|
| You should never cry over spilt milk. Unless, ofcourse, you are stranded on a deserted islandand a magical genie appears and offers you a lifetime of fame and fortune for your last glass of milk and you leap with glee and nearly spill your milk, then after you take a sigh of relief that it hasn't spilled, you slip on a clam shell and drop the glass, causing the genie to disappear forever. |
|
|
|
| Never market a special brand of coffee just for ferrets, cuz man, those things are jumpy enouh already. |
|
|
|
| If you ever go blind, set up your entire house with strobe lights. That would really freak out your neighbors. |
|
|
|
| Always carry a bowl with you, just incase vending machines are upgraded to dispense delicious chocolate pudding. |
|
|
|
| If you ever accidentally enter the wrong room, yell out a big number before you leave. That way, everyone is left with mystery to discuss such as, "What the hell does 402 mean?" |
|
|
|
| A cheetah may be fast, and an elephant may be strong, but none of them have pockets. Thank god for modern technology. |
|
|
|
| I bet it would suck to be a witch that got turned into a lamp by a more powerful witch. Unless ofcourse you got to keep your witch powers, which would make you one kickass lamp. |
|
|
|
| I bet we wouldn't ride horses as much if they had chainsaws for legs. |
|
|
|
| A handy tip: When someone tells you to "lace your shoes", they don't usually mean to fill them with cocaine, unless you work in a drug lab, in which case you should ask for some clarrification. |
|
|
|
| You know what shouldn't scare you? The thought of super intelligent plants. They'd take so long to grow that we'd totally see their plans in advance. |
|
|
|
| A gun that fires a stream of angry raccoons would be quite powerful for home protections. |
|