Song "Lick the pavement" Garbage

Mood Bored

Word of the day null

Quote of the Day

null 

I'm feeling incredibly bored and boring today.  At least so far.  I have to go take the newest little monster (er, I mean cat) to the vet in about twelve minutes.  But other than that, and studying Latin, the day holds no promise.

I'M SO BORED.  And I'm starting to sound like Jamie.  It was all so much easier when I actually had sites to go explore on the internet, but now, my interests are limited and I'm lazy.

And a book can only hold you for so long before you have to put it down while fighting off lethargy.  This coming from me, the biggest bookworm in a twenty mile radius.  And the author killed off my favorite character.  She killed practically everybody off.  It holds no meaning to me anymore.  La sigh.

Took some of those inane tests this morning, and found that if I were a Hogwarts student, I would belong in Ravenclaw (what a surprise *sarcasm dully noted*) and my best match of Harry Potter characters is (*shock, gasp*) Hermione Granger.  These tests hold no joy anymore.  I have fully predict the outcome accurately.  Plus they're easy to rig to get what you want.  But really now, I wasn't even trying to for that.  I forgot who my second match was- it was someone very odd.  Dumbledore was my third match, and Ginny was my fourth with Neville rounding out the top five.  And Sirius and Snape got stuck together at the very end of the ranking with Snape placing sixteenth and Sirius in last place as seventeenth.

Began an archive of my poems at my personal site.  Have yet to truly update the website fully yet though.  Maybe I should get around to that sometime soon.

Maybe I should get around to studying Latin sometime soon.

God I'm such a fob.

Next time  Boredom.

Song "13 x forever" Garbage

Mood Dreamy

Word of the day Faustschlag

Quote of the Day

"Charlotte Church will be my queen... right?"

Random thought.  Who is it that reads my blog?  I have an average of about three to five hits each entry, and one is obviously me to make sure I uploaded it correctly, but I really wonder who else is reading this thing.  It's a bit scary.  I would guess Lena and Kim maybe, but that's only two, two I tell you.  Stalker?  Eep.  Scary thought.  Maybe Adam somehow sniffed out my blog.  But I'm mad at him.  He won't go see Lilo & Stitch with me this weekend like he promised.  And wouldn't go with me to see The Bourne Identity.  He is a useless whore in my eyes.  He holds no meaning in my life anymore!  Well, okay, that's a big lie, because he is my best friend and, like, I don't know how I'd handle all the so-called "normal" people without him and our devious plans and weird conversation.  Plus, I would have no one to share my inside jokes with.  It would be devastating.

This started out as an entirely different rant than what it has become.  I've one mushy.  Someone kill me now.

In other news, I made myself a purple and blue Hawaiian print purse.  And you don't have one.  You're a deprived child.  Don't you just feel your soul becoming tarnished and scarred for life?

In also other news, ths is the first time I've ever had three entries in one day.  I need a life.

Which would clash with my quest to find the CoS trailer tomorrow and watch, and rant about it like any other Potterphile should.  I have been neglecting my duties.  And yes I an agent of  Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial and fan-girlish.

Next time CoS rant and the rant of the Daniel Radcliffe website and the poser that took my name.

6:31 p.m.

Which flock do you follow?
this quiz was made by alanna

It's not true I tell you.  I was supposed to get the Grunge Sheep.  Dammit, I didn't try hard enough.

In other news, Curt said he was updating his LiveJournal with a rant of his Charlotte Church obsession.  It's taking him a long time.  And he just told me to DIE.  Eep.  Of course, I'm fairly sure "die" means "the" in German or something other particle.  Not sure though.  And I just made a fool of myself, per usual.

iniqua invidia are you done yet?
schizo02 NO
schizo02 DIE
schizo02 sorry
iniqua invidia uh...
iniqua invidia *sniff* I don't feel loved
schizo02 and...that's MY problem?
iniqua invidia is it awfully long
iniqua invidia that sounded dirty
iniqua invidia the entry I mean
iniqua invidia is the entry awfully long
iniqua invidia EEP
iniqua invidia that sounded even dirtier
iniqua invidia I'll stop now

schizo02 ::falls over laughing::

12:17 p.m.

Plans are being made, and shall be put into effect.  For I shall RULE THE WORLD.  With a rear (heh-dirty) assault by my colleagues upon the ground, all resistance shall be snuffed by air assistance from Curt and his nation of Floating Flan.  Floating in the sky that is.  No one will ever expect it.  Thus ensuring my success as the amassing of troops to such an assault will be futile against our Blitzkrieg.

Such an assault shall be named Faustschlag and loyalists shall be rewarded when I rule the world.  With strategic placement of my colleagues around the world (and in the sky) resistance is futile (*maniacal laughter*).  But I shall be a benevolent ruler and shall not tax heavily, except if you're rich, then you're going down you snobby, privileged bastards (and we'll burn your country clubs and golf courses-ha! Just try me you mewling rich scum!).

Oh yes, and a mandatory message from your local, flan-dominating dictator.  Curt says:  "Sign up to the cause at your local grocery store, or ask me very nicely."  Or well, that's what his away message said last night, so dammit, it's an official message.  

He is also taking Charlotte Church as his Queen of the Flandom.  I'm making a clone of Matt Damon if he does not willingly submit to the cause and become my king/love(sex) slave (oh, but he will, he will *maniacal laughter*.  C'mon Matt, think it over, almost absolute power next to me and all the "Project: Greenlight" s you want.).  Then Daniel Radcliffe will be my stable boy.  Elijah Wood ditched me for Lola (Franka Portente), but that's okay, she's cool (and he smokes- big turnoff that).  And Tom Welling, well, I haven't figured him into the scheme of things yet, but dammit, he be something involving sex.  Maybe my aerobics instructor (heh).  Yeah, that makes sense.  Orlando Bloom smokes as well, so alas, he no longer holds any meaning in my life.  Maybe if you break the habit Orlando, we'll talk.  And John Hensley?  My actor lover.  See, I have it all planned out perfectly.

I also have a dominatrix, kinky-fetish girl as the General of my army.  So, if you're young, beautiful, and of age, you're joining the army and going to the "special" dormitories.  Don't worry, I'll make sure she doesn't go too wonton on you poor dears.

Adam has been bequeathed the Polynesian islands and the African country of Jabooti (I swear, it's actually a really country- not sure if I spelled it right though.).  Kaylee has the whole of Europe.  Curt has Wales (something to do with Charlotte being from there or something- he's a pathetic boy), and I gave my general (Miaka you shall call her) the whole of Asia.  Dallas has Sydney, Australia, and if you're nice enough to me, I'll give you something too.  Of course, it's all mine in the end, but I can only stretch myself so far.

I need to incessantly bother Curt to update his LiveJournal.  So we can BOTH talk of Faustschlag.  And the word shall spread, and sweet victory shall be ours.  MWAHAHAHA!  Ahem.

Next time  Faustshlag.

Song "Lick the Pavement" Garbage

Mood Tired/sick

Word of the day Latin

Quote of the Day

null

Got a D+ on my second semester Latin final, and a C+ for my final grade.  I'm taking it a lot better than if it had been a regular academic class that I didn't have to virtually teach myself during a very hectic school year.  I never wanted to do it anyway.  Mother just signed me up when I wasn't looking.  It's okay, I think I'm done being angsty now.

This is probably all a side-affect of the massive wave of tiredness I've been experiencing this summer though I get an average of ten to eleven hours of sleep spread out over the twenty-four hours of each day.  They say exercising is supposed to make you more energetic.  Yeah well, I exercise for an hour each morning and I'm not seeing no new fangled "energy boost" these people keep talking about.  Well, I was never a particularly energetic person, even as a child I always wanted to take a nap instead of going outside and running around in circles till I was nauseous.

Even now I've taken two naps today, one two and a half hours long, the other about an hour and a half long, and I'm ready to go back to sleep?  What is with this?  Maybe I need some of those energy tablets they advertise on the tele.  But then, I'm fairly sure what they put in those things aren't entirely made for the human digestive system.

On a random note, I like to stick my finger in my cats mouth when he yawns.

Next time The Daniel-Radcliffe-website-chick-wth-my-name Conspiracy, I promise.

(Time lost)

Watched the Harry Potter CoS trailer like a good fangirl.  Rupert Grint's a cute kid.  Considering he's British.  And the British make me look like Cindy Crawford.  In-bred little island really.  But he has tremendous acting ability, and it makes me squeal when he does that pathetic little voice at the end of the trailer.  It's almost liek he's the cute, red-haired little brother I never had.

Daniel Radcliffe, on the other hand, is disturbingly appealing.  However, it shall not matter.  When he's my stable-boy, he'll be of a fine age.  Be in his sexual prime (rowr).

The size and speed connection of the trailer sucked though.  Watched it first in Windows Media and only got still images for the whole thing and found it better in RealPlayer.

I think too many Harry Potter fans are anal retentive about it all.  It's a movie for chrissake that's trying to take an insanely detailed and deep (well, no so much as, let's say a Robert Ludlum novel, but you get the point) and making it into a movie that should really be under two hours for the wandering attention spans of children.

Ahem, I'm done with that rant now.

Dobby sounds a lot older than I thought he did.  I thought he would sound rather squeaky and high-toned voice.

And, la sigh, no shots of Tom Riddle.  I feel cheated.  I want my money back.  Or uh, pay me the money I never gave you?  Whatever.  I wonder, are we only going to get to see Tom at the end of the movie and in the small flashback scene with Hagrid and the big spider?  I feel cheated already.  I want my money back.

Oh yeah, Tom Felton.  Who the blimey thinks he's adorable?  Someone needs to go a better bleach job on his hair, and at least try to make his eyebrows match.  The insanity of it all.  And it looks like he has something stuck up his butt.  But then again, canon Malfoy does I suppose.  But couldnt they at least do a good job on his hair?  The hair *choke, sob*, it's so horrible.

Ahem.

Next time  The conspiracy of the Daniel Radcliffe website and the chick that stole my name.

Song "13 x forever" Garbage

Mood painful

Word of the day null

Quote of the Day

null

Curt and I had a rather revealing and at the same time depressing conversation about my alter-ego.  I'm sure all of you have wondering what's up with that little entry to the left that says something about a dude named Heremon being a libra-bastard.  And if you've read my earlier entries you know him as "the dark" (I need to do more entries like that- it's therapy really).  Now here's even more thanyou ever wanted to know:

iniqua invidia boy shorts. BOY SHORTS!
schizo02 not pants
iniqua invidia boy shorts I tell you
schizo02 not man pants
schizo02 boy shorts
iniqua invidia no, MAN PANTS, and BOY SHORTS
iniqua invidia exactly
iniqua invidia good to see you're catching on
schizo02 are those like boyfriend shorts?
iniqua invidia it'll be easier when I have to kidnap you and run away from the CIA when in all actuality I'm running away from the secret organizations of assassins I used to work for
iniqua invidia kinda, I bought them for my imaginary boyfriend
schizo02 ooooooh
iniqua invidia which in all actuality is just my male alter-ego
iniqua invidia alter-ego= exact opposite of me
iniqua invidia which means he's more feminine than I'll ever be
schizo02 heh
iniqua invidia and bitchier
schizo02 and pro'lly has a boyfriend
iniqua invidia he's such a prima donna
iniqua invidia yes
schizo02 AND a girlfriend
iniqua invidia it's so, very, very wrong
iniqua invidia yes!
iniqua invidia he's such a slut
iniqua invidia and he's a lot cuter
iniqua invidia especially in a skirt
iniqua invidia la sigh
iniqua invidia how can he wear a skirt and look better than me?
iniqua invidia I'm a girl for chrissake
iniqua invidia and he can actually walk in high heels
iniqua invidia he got all the feminine talent
schizo02 I bet he's a size 4
iniqua invidia size 2
schizo02 dayumn
iniqua invidia he models in his spare time
iniqua invidia and he has rock star lovers

I had to put the whole of it in though, because the shorts tie into the whole boyfriend then alter-ego thing.  And I satiated my cross-dressing tendencies today by buying those boy shorts I spoke of earlier.  Am proud of me and my cross-dressing tendencies.

The back-ache I've been having for the past few days has become decidedly worse and spread up my back.  It's especially painful when I lay on my side in bed, and makes sleeping a frustrating experience for someone like me that fidgets in a great  many positions.

Maybe some bengay will help.  Or icy hot.  SOMETHING, PLEASE!  There's always holy water or I could get drunk on sacramental wine.  That might be something worth doing.

10:43 a.m.

I'm going out later to get boy shorts and a Robert Ludlum book.  It's good to have a mission in life.  Or well, a mission on the weekends.  In my stalker-ish habit of reading the blogs of people I've never even had a conversation with and don't know who I am, but I sure know who they are, I realized I'm a lazy, naughty, lazy girl.  I need to write more.

Which I guess I could do, since I resolved my conflict in my current D/Hr fic.  Kinda, sorta.  Uh, well, yeah.  And then I started another fic on impulse about Blaise because he's (she's) one of the most neglected characters of the fandom and I thought it would be interesting to explore new territory.  Of course, a great many fan girls shall be yelling at me for making him hetero, and a great many others for making him a boy.  Dammit.  Just can't win with those crazed fan girls can you?

Saw Matt Damon on "Rank" yesterday night.  Almost erupted into a fit of squeals of fan girl delight.  But, #19?  Please, he's like, #1 here people.  He's an under appreciated fellow.

No longer feeling very nauseous.  However, am feeling tired, even after a nine hour night.  I just don't understand why I feel such a need to sleep.  But my eyes are having that annoying ache and keep trying to lodge themselves shut.  While neglecting such an urge it brining on a headache in the frontal lobes of my brain.  Lovely, just lovely.

I think I need some medication.  No, not for what you're thinking (I'm sane I tell you, sane!).  Or maybe I can act depressed so Adam and I can go crash Angie's therapy sessions.  That'd be fun.

I had intended for this entry to be short, but I seem to have let my fingers run away with themselves (and they shall eventually end up in divorce and then my left and right hand won't be able to do anything together without their lawyers present, and it'll all be ferklempt).

I think I'm going to go find something to keep me awake.  Because frankly, typing is far too rhythmic and soft for me to keep myself awake.  Though, it would be a bit funny to see what I type while I'm asleep.  Maybe I'll try that sometime.  Or maybe I'll conduct that as a psycho-therapy tactic in a future medical practice of mine.

Whatever.  *Clonk!  Snore.*

8:21 a.m.

I get this strange head-ache/nauseous feeling whenever I'm in a vertical position.  And my nose is stuffy.  But don't worry about me, it's not as bad as you would think.

I'm starting to think I'll never get to the Daniel-Radcliffe-Websites-Chick-That-Stole-My-Name conspiracy.  But hey, I have nothing to do now, so let's give it a whirl before I feel the need to regurgitate my spaghetti-o's.

At some nameless, faceless (not, really but I don't really care what it's called or looks like) Daniel Radcliffe website (shut up, I had to fee dot need before I exploded), there's a section for "Confessions" of the great many fan-girls' hearts' desires.  And some fourteen-year-old girl with my name, (MY NAME FOR CHRISSAKE!  She had to take away my originality) left a confession that totally lacked any sort of wit and originality.  Tegans are supposed to be witty and sarcastic and have a way with words.  She has made me lose faith in the name.  Names are very special to me you see.  Names define a person.  Like how all Ashleys are even the slightest bit bitchy, no matter what.  And all Adams are just a bit weird.  And all Tegans are supposed to be witty, sarcastic and have a way with words dammit!

So, I left my own little confession that made me feel a little bit better about the state of my name in the next generation.  Something along the lines of:  "I feel like a pedophile for liking a boy blank years young than me.  However, when he turns of legal age, I'm going to England and tracking the little bugger down.  (Rowr)."  However, now that I look back on it, that wasn't terribly witty.  Dammit.

Next time  Regurgitation of the meat-loaf surprise.

Song "Satellite" Natalie Imbuglia

Mood content

Word of the day assassin

Quote of the Day

null

Well, well, well, look who's come crawling back after all this time.  The darkness swirled around me in an agitated frenzy at my entrance.  The whiny voice of Heremon seemed a bit smug.

"First of all," I held up one finger petulantly.  "I'm not crawling."  Holding up another finger I continued.  "Secondly, it hasn't been 'all this time.'  You're my subconscious.  Every time I take a nap you're there.  hell, you wreak plenty of havoc during my awake hours."

The darkness heaved a disgruntled sigh.  I almost had to the urge to pat the nonexistent shoulder.  However, besides that fact that there wasn't one, I wasn't wasting any pity on my subconscious.  Because it was technically self-pity.  And I don't have a habit of pitying myself (no matter what form of myself it is).

You've found a new best friend.  Came the tearful statement out of the darkness.

My brow furrowed and then I gallantly rolled my eyes.  "Of course I did you silly little bint.  And you were never my best friend in the first place."

What was I then?  Now he was being bitchy.  Wait, eh was always bitchy.  Nevermind.

"A bitchy alter-ego that seems to have more luck than I ever did."

They always say you are your own best friend.

"And 'they' needs to be smacked more often than not."  I sighed once again, and examined my pink-painted finger nails in dire need of a new coat of polish.  "Look, I just was never really in the mood to write my blog in narrative form.  It's much easier to get one's thoughts out in simple paragraphs."

That's not true.  You just wanted to be like all those other blogs.  I know what you're thinking after-all.  I am your subconscious.  "What will they all think if they find me conversing with myself?"  Pft, you're already a loonie, might as well not hide it.

"You're just pissed I pushed you out of the spotlight in my own selfish desire to write about myself and not you."

We both paused.  "This is a stupid entry."

Yeah, basically.

"Now you're starting to sound like Gifford."

Now he was a hottie.  Why'd you ever let him go?

I crossed my arms defensively.  "He has a girlfriend."

And that stopped you why?

"Shut up you slut."

Takes one to know one.

I rolled my eyes once again.  "That's so childish.  And you wonder why I try to avoid this place when at all possible."

That and each of these types of entries take up mondo-space in your blog.

"No you're starting to sound like Adam."

Adam!  Hey, you guys should-

"Shut up, SHUT UP!  No, we do not make a good couple, we'd kill each other, and we are so not getting married by our ten year reunion."

The darkness swirled at the outburst, and backed away carefully. Whatever you say.

"Damn right.  I'm the dominant personality here."

Or so you think.

"Shut up you cheap crack whore."

Slag.

"Tart."

Slut.

"Hooker."

You like fighting with yourself way too much to be healthy.

"And you're a stupid, useless crack whore that needs to be beaten into submission."

Woo-ho, stop getting pissy with me just because you're not getting laid.

My eyes widened at the statement.  "Where di that come into the conversation?  This is so not about my sex life."

Lack there-of.

I rubbed my temples and sighed.  "Shut up bi-yotch."  I could almost hear the palpable laughter of my effeminate other-half.

Oh well, guess some people just aren't meant to have romantic relationships.  You know, some would say you have serious personality problems if your alter-ego has a better time getting dates than you.

"I have serious personality problems for the pure fact that you look better than me in a skirt."  Pause.  "And that I talk to myself in my blog.  The fact that I even have a blog.  That fact that I like hot pink."  Another pause.  "It's all your fault."

Which is really your fault as I'm you.

"You only agree to that statement when it works against me and for you."

La sigh.  You're so difficult Tegan.

"Shut up bizitch. And it's 'le' because you're male."

The darkness laughed.  Only on the weekends.

Next time  The strict avoidance of Heremon.

Music Cherry Lips single Garbage

Mood sticky

Word of the day exercise

Quote of the Day

"Oh, just shut up Peter," said the Monk (courtesy of The Bourne Identity- no infringement intended- I'll just plead temporary insanity, believe me, no one will doubt it).

Went and saw Scooby Doo yesterday.  Terrible experience full of annoying, whining, sticky children; I have a high phobia and dislike of anything under the age of ten.  Got there a half hour early, but it wans't enough and mother and I had to sit in the second row, scrunched down in our seats craning our necks upwards during the whole movie.  Then some children behind us kept kicking our chairs.  And another child behind us peaked between the chairs and coped a feel on my shoulder.  And yet another child on the end of the aisle kept whining and screaming, and it was so not butter.

And Scooby Doo isn't even little children movie.  Hardly anyone got most of the jokes in that theater and I have a feeling no one in the other showings really did either.  And the same thing happened when I went to see Lilo & Stitch.  These people don't appreciate fine humor.  Actually, "these people" are really the infamous "stupid, retarded people" all of us loathe.

However, it was all worth it in the end because, I saw the Harry Potter trailer.  On a big screen.  And it had more footage than that from the website.  Even my mother managed a slightly fan-girlish squeal of delight at it.  I'm proud of my mother for that.  Me?  I was about ready to have an epileptic fit at the grandness of it all.  Rupert Grint really is a cute kid.  A lot of people say he's repulsive.  But they don't take into account that he's British.  And British more often than not equals in-bred features.

So, I have to call Adam today.  Am dreading the encounter.  Mostly because I fear I have been over-reacting to his unwillingness to go see The Bourne Identity with me, and the fiasco of him coming to see Lilo & Stitch.  I don't like sharing really.  And I really don't like sharing my best friend when I get the feeling he's my best friend but I've never really heard him say I'm his best friend.  Or maybe I'm just being paranoid.  That's a very likely possibility.

This morning when exercising, I put it all in perspective as I noticed The Bitch from Hell coming to walk her dog.  She's my ex best-friend from seventh grade that annoys me greatly, annoyed me greatly, and will annoy me greatly.  Even when we were best friends she annoyed me greatly.

So anyway, the perspective is,  everyone annoys me.  Just more often than not, you're my friend if you annoy me less than most other people.  Of course there are exceptions (Dalyce, Angie, some others), but you get the point.  I wonder if that's how it is for other people.

I'm not one of those that can like everything about a person and spend every waking hour with a certain person.  I like being solitary.  Tegan-time is good time.

And I guess that's why Adam and I work so well together.  We don't like spending extraneous time together.  I never did understand people that spend all their extra time with people that spent the better part of their school day with.  That's a bit too much time with certain people.

Am reading The Bourne Identity.  I don't usually go for spy, assassin, espionage, intrigue sort of books usually, and it's a bit unusual to be this absorbed in one book.  Marie's a flake in the book though.  I like her better in the movie.  Okay, I really just rather like Franka Portente.  She made the character more believable and real.  But I suppose, having been written in 1980, and the still patriarchal mind-set of many Americans can be understood in the outlook of the author in it.  He was old when it was written, so I guess growing up pre-Women's Lib was a factor.  Though, considering such conditions, he did make her stronger than most women were then.  And I guess a lot of women back then really were flakes.

Pause.  *Shudder.*  Once again I am reminded why I am so fortunate to live in a more gender equal society than even a decade ago.  Though, it is still sad to see that outward depreciation of women, even unconsciously on the television, pop culture, music, the career structures, everything as such.

Laundry, cooking, and other home-minded sort of commercials really piss me off.  Because they always portray women as the house wife, as the one that takes care of the kids, basically as a stereotypical woman.  When today, it's hard to find a stereotypical woman outside of Utah (and the few other states everyone knows I'm talking about).

And wow did I just rant incredibly.  *Shrug*, it's just something I think a lot about I guess.

This is a rather mellow entry.  I would blame it on the fact I have yet to shower after my hour of exercise this morning (and you so needed to know that), my sister's hogging the bathroom, so such a thing won't happen soon, and I won't get my nap any time soon.  La sigh.  I'm very tired.

I'm always very tired.  Maybe I'm anemic.  I guess I should start taking some vitamins and see where that gets me.

YAWN.

Next time  Sleep-deprived hallucinations (ha!).

Music Garbage

Mood tired

Word of the day yawn

Quote of the Day

"Mommy!  I'm a shoe!"

I did this weird thing with Google today where I did a search on my first name, and got all sorts of weird crap.  Like there's a shoe named after me.  As well as a dead ferret, a dog, and an Australian horse for sale.  As well as many sites dedicated to Tegan Jovakana (or however the hell you spell her last name) from Doctor Who and dedicated to the band Tegan and Sara.  Also a great many personal sites of people with the name.  Bit disappointed mine wasn't listed, but I didn't get very far in what the search turned up.

And unless people really didn't know, Tegan is an inherently female name as with the -an suffix of the name that is denoted to female names within the Welsh language.  So why then are guys named an inherently female name?  And WTF are people doing go around with it as their last name?  WTF is going on here?

All I know is I'm a shoe and a dead ferret.  Life is weird like that.

I went and saw Lilo & Stitch again yesterday with Adam.  Saw two cheerleaders I know personally from yearbook.  Was frightening experience being seen together.  But at least I was comfortable in my boy shorts.  That's right, I said BOY SHORTS.  My cross-dressing tendencies shine.

Am tired, tired girl.  I fail to comprehend how the dark circles under my eyes are worse during the summer than the school year.  

Mother is on a campaign to make my skin clear, healthy, acne-free, and smooth.  She's more concerned about it than I am.  And she's going to put me on a detox pill to supposedly "flush out my system."  I swear I'm not on drugs Mom, really.

Oh yeah, and a chubby, ugly baby.  I'm a chubby, ugly baby according to the search.  A chubby, ugly baby.

Next time  Sleep-deprived hallucinations (whee!).

entry 38 June 28, 2002 6:13 p.m.

Music Ultra Chilled 02

Mood antsy

Word of the day ribs

Quote of the Day

"I'll get my very own combat boots."

Am in love with Black Box Recorder.  And my sister is miffed I have not vacated possession of the computer and internet.  Just thought I'd let you know.

Finished fifth chapter of Potter fic.  Am rather proud of the sheer veracity of which I devise romantic quandaries and quagmires with which to meddle the beloved characters in.  Am evil and know it.  However, they are fictional, so it's okay.  Or at least that is what I must tell myself to keep myself from feeling guilty at effing up the emotions of my dear, dear Blaise.

And I'm sure no one knows what I'm talking about in that last paragraph unless that are a member of the Potter fandom.  Ha, they suck.

Must go annoy, I mean email, Kim now.  Must devise our plans of future-husband (Gifford) beating.  Well, he's not really my future-husband.  But a girl can dream in denial can't she?

3:58 p.m.

My blog it pretty now.  Pretty, pretty!  All right, that's a lie.  'Tis still ugly.  But now it has fun, fun codes!  And I finally got those ugly borders in between the frames out of the way.  'Tis better in any case.  And the scroll bar is pretty.  Pretty, pretty.

I also broke down, and decided to seek professional help.  No, not that kind.  I mean, I'm going to be taking an actual html instruction class.  I decided, coding can be fun, and if I'm going to minor in computer science, it might help to have some working familiarity with at least one programming language.

It's also necessary to work towards the web design certificate mother seems to be nagging me about getting so I can get a good job in college making web pages for people or web mastering while the other poor, pathetic college students are working at Starbucks.  Ha ha to them.

I feel like drawing, writing, SOMETHING.  I'm so antsy.  I've actually been like this for the past week really.  And guess what.  For once, I did actually go exercising this morning, but I'm not tired!  Whee!

Went to Memphis Barbeque, and ate eight ribs, fries, a roll, and a sweet potato.  Still am not full.  I think I'm going through a growth spurt.  No, like a real one.  Because all of a sudden, my sister and I are the same height when she was two and half inches taller than me before.  'Tis exciting.  I certainly do hope I am getting taller.  I deserve a growth spurt.  I have never had mine.  While everyone else was getting taller in middle school, I sadly lacked my adolescent height growth.  Am happy that I might actually be getting it now after years of taunting in reference to my height.  'Tis a sad, deep, purple and oozy scar upon my emotional bosom.

Kim said her summer hobby involves 99% mice, glue, and people's door knobs.  Am scared of Kim now.  Am not sure if I wish to prolong any contact with her.  However, she did promise to give the smack down upon Gifford.  Reason enough to employ her talents in the name of all around teenage boy beating.  And sadly, she no longer likes Se**.  Now she likes a nameless boy in our former third hour class.  She will not tell me.  She is very mean.  However, I have my suspicions.  I shall find out.  Because Lena is a gossip whore (she just doesn't know it yet).  And Kim flatters me by saying my page is amusing.  It makes me all warm and happy in the aforementioned emotional bosom.

w00t.

Next time  More Google insanity ( I promise- whee!).

entry 39 June 29, 2002 3:51 p.m.

Music Ultra Chilled 02

Mood bored

Word of the day quagmire

Quote of the Day

"Mother says I'm ornery."

Everyone seems so angsty and snarky these days.  Or at least teenagers.  I suppose it's some outward act of aggression from the internalized feelings of inadequacy, hatred, and rampant mood swings that result in the former mentioned two feelings and many, many more.  I'm generally, a happy girl.  Though, PMS is a common occurrence.  And I've never really understood the point of being depressed and angry at the world.

Maybe I'm just too optimistic and bubbly for my own good.  But really, I'm a realistic optimist if anything else.  I do get annoyed easily by people.  Actually, on some level, all people annoy me.  Okay, it's not a level, it's just people annoy me.  Though, those that annoy me less than others can be my friends.

Anyway, I just never understand totally depressed, pessimistic people.  Really, being in such a constant state of angsty snarkism, is way too much energy expense.   And it makes you annoying.  Especially if you don't do it right.  If you are going to be depressed, you might as well do it with style.  Like Daria.  Daria had wit and sarcasm.  Not just borrowed words and phrases, with black clothing, white face powder and a sour expression.  Daria was depressed in a smart sort of way.  Actually, Daria wasn't really depressed at all.  Just meandering to the beat of a different drummer really.

Which is the way to go really.  I like meandering to the beat of a different drummer.  It makes me look lost and maybe someone will find me and take me home and love me.

Sigh.

9:41 a.m.

So, I broke my promise.  I didn't feel very much like searching over Google once again.  Am bored.  And tired.  I didn't even go exercising this morning and am tired.

Am bored.  Think I should write the next chapter to my fic.  Except I have yet to upload my previous chapter to ff.net because it's being a doo doo head.

Have come to the sad conclusion that I need a domain.  Am very sad by my obvious lack of one.  Have contemplated what to name it though.  Tegan.com would be pretty groovy I think.  But maybe not.  Am not sure.  So then, perhaps some ironic, and weird domain name.  Something like, quagmire.com.  I like the word quagmire.  'Tis a very useful and fun word.  And damn, somebody has already decided to use it as their domain.  Maybe a compound domain name.  Hmm,  girlishquagmire.com.  That's a funny domain if you think about it.  Ha ha *slaps knee*.  Or maybe even sciencenerd.com.  I'm not sure I want to tell the whole world I'm that much of a geek though.

Wish noon would come already so I can escape the house and go shopping.  Particularly for a Black Box Recorder CD.  I need a new CD.  Am bored with all the ones I have.

I have no where to surf on the internet.

My existence is a sad, pathetic one.

Cannot wait til college.  Hopefully then, real life shall begin and I shall leave behind all forms of adolescent social customs that never really benefited me during my adolescence.

Oh, nevermind me.  I'm just bored.

Next time  More useless information and rantings.

entry 40 June 30, 2002 4:41 p.m.

Music Black Box Recorder

Mood moody (mostly bitter though)

Word of the day quagmire

Quote of the Day

null

Curt is still a poser, but at least he admits it.

schizo02 I hope you don't mind, last night I ripped off your style slightly
schizo02 slightly
iniqua invidia I read it
iniqua invidia and ranted about it
iniqua invidia it's all right
iniqua invidia I mean, you can't do something cool like talk to yourself and not have someone try and copy it
schizo02 too true
iniqua invidia at least it was a trusted friend like you and not someone I truly despise
schizo02 but it wasn't intentional
iniqua invidia I understand
schizo02 it was late and while I was doing it I was like "this is sort of like tegan's.....I don't want to make it too similar but....eh fuck it.. steal little steal big"
iniqua invidia heh
iniqua invidia I understand
iniqua invidia and your friend's stoleded my style as well
iniqua invidia they posted conversations they had with you and I've been doing that all along
schizo02 I KNOW!
iniqua invidia *sniff* somebody notice me!
schizo02 they haven't read your site though so...
iniqua invidia I'm feeling under appreciated

That still doesn't make it right. *Sniffles*.

Mother is being a doo doo head and trying ot make me feel guilty for one reason or another.  And she's talking to my cat again.  And my cat is talking back.

I must go email Kim now and bother her once again about Luis.  I'm sure it's Luis.  It must be Luis.  Because if it isn't all my hopes and dreams of becoming a Private Investigator and solving mind-numbing crimes will be shattered to dust and I shall curl up in the fetal position upon my bedroom floor and cry about my loss of cleverness.  I'm okay now.  The PMS shall pass.

11:57 a.m.

Curt did this thing suspiciously like talking to himself (which suspiciously resembles myself and Heremon bickering).  And then all his friends posted conversations they've had with him in their LiveJournals.  They're such posers.  I've been doing it all along.  I'm the cool one here!  Somebody notice me *sniff.*

And Curt has a problem with prepubescent female stalkers that think he's the next Michael Jackson.  Yet again more reason to put some chlorine in the gene pool.

And Kim still won't tell me who the now called Mystery Boy is (well, he bloody isn't a man- believe me, no guy that goes to my school is a man).  I think she is a very very mean and cruel girl that is heartless and dead inside and should really tell me who it is before I burst.  I still think it's Luis.  *Sticks tongue out at Kim whom she knows is reading this because Kim is a big fob*.

And it also bothers me because I'm not the kind of person that's bothered by someone having a secret and not telling me.  I usually don't care enough to want to know badly enough to expend copious amounts of energy on bothering them.  That's way too much effort.  But I suppose it's because she broke down so easily last time under my Chinese Water Torture.  I suppose I should resort to some ancient Druid sacrifice celebrations this time.  Though that would involve going and finding a henge somewhere.  And they just don't make henges in America the same way they do in the Old Country.

By far got some of the funniest reviews for my pitiful excuse for a fanfic today.  I made one happy, then disgusted and aghast, but then happy again and confused.  In only five chapters.  Rather proud about that one.  And others are pleading for a certain romantical outcome, while others are left wondering what the ship of it really is.  *Maniacal laughter*.  So much power!  *Rubs hands together evilly like Mr. Smithers*.

Have further cemented the belief that I listen to Fucking Crazy Music my father and sister, and sometimes my mother seem to believe.  Ha!  Actually, I really kinda do....  Whatever.  At least I don't listen to rap.  That's something for them to be thankful for.

Next time  Oddities of the odd.

T.    spank me silly