Oh Them Golden Years

I'm the life of the party...even when it lasts until 8PM.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.
I'm usually interested in going home before I get where I am going.
I'm good on a trip at least for an hour without my aspirin, beano, and....antacids.
I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.
I'm very good at telling stories.....over and over and over and over.
I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.
I'm well cared for; long term care; eye care; private care; dental care....
I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children and politicians.
I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.
I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy... and that's just my left leg.
I'm having troumle remembering simple words like.......
I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.
I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies....
I'm anti-everything now,anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise,anti-inflammatory.
I'm walking more ....(to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.
I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors.....absolutely nothing!
I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.
I'm in the Initial years: SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP...
I'm wondering if you are only as old as you feel....how could I be 150?
I'm supporting all movements now...by eating bran, prunes, and raisens.
I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!!!
Now if I could only remember why I am writing this....and to WHO?????



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