THE X FILES
It has come to my attention, that I have neglected one side of our story. The side regarding my X. So, I thought I would give this a little bit of attention, and set the story straight.
My X and I were married in 86, and had 3 children. In 1993, we were having many difficulties, and he even admitted to me that he had been having an affair off an on for years with his x girlfriend. I was more pissed, than hurt…but at the same time, I decided that I had enough, and wanted out. In the fall/winter of that year, I started dating…yes, we were still living together, but I didn’t really care. I ended up leaving one night in January, after having called the police to my home, because we had a horrible argument, and he hit me, and tore my clothes up. That was enough for me. I packed up what I had, the 3 kids, and left for my Dad’s in Colorado.
I spent Jan. and Feb. there, but had to drive back in Feb, due to the court date regarding an incident before. I missed the court date, as I was basically snowed in, on my way thru West Virginia, on my way back. I left almost immediately for Colorado again.
The kids and I spent the rest of Feb. and March in Colorado, and then the X decided to take off from his job (absent without leave) and come get us from my Dad’s place in Colorado. My Dad (against his better judgment) welcomed him into his home, because he was my husband. To make a long story short, I came back to Virginia with him and the kids in one car, as my other car blew up (motor went in Kansas).
When I arrived in Virginia, I stayed with a close friend of mine, and then moved into a “boarding house” of sorts. While I was at that house, I had started seeing the same person I had before I left for Colorado. Well, I became pregnant, and didn’t know it yet. X and I decided to work it out, and I moved back in with him. Shortly after moving in, I learned I was pg, and of course, I was thoroughly convinced that it wasn’t X’s child. So was he. He however, told me that if I aborted, that we would not work things out. So, I went on to give birth to a daughter in April of 1995. I named her Bethany Jean (after my mother who passed in 1992) Things were going good, unless the X got a wild hair up his butt and decided to call the birth father (hereby referred to as BF) to come and get her, to piss me off, or otherwise try to prove some kind of point.
Eventually, X bought a home, not including me on the purchase of the home, and we all moved to Dale City, Virginia from Manassas, Virginia where we were living. Almost immediately upon moving in, the X started to try to get me to move out . He even tried blackmail. He would tape me on the phone with everyone, trying to catch me cheating on him. I wasn’t, so there wasn’t anything to catch. It ended up, that he did tape me on a call with my best friend, and the friend was cheating on their spouse, so….X decided to use this as leverage. He told me that if I really cared for my best bud, that I would move or he would call their spouse, and tell them everything, the only way I could stop this was to leave. Well, I called my friend, and told them what was going on, and my friend said to call him at his bluff. I did, I refused to move, and true to his word, X called the spouse of my friend, and told them everything. My best bud is now divorced, and paying an ungodly amount of spousal support, and child support.
I’m not going to go into details on how many, or what occurred each time, but suffice it to say that my X was arrested numerous times for domestic assault and battery on me, and also for child abuse, and was convicted of child abuse on my oldest child.
In 1997, I was working a part time job at an electronics store, and also at a tanning booth. This incident actually occurred at Easter, 1997, when I arrived home from the tanning place, X had refused to do anything for my kids for Easter. No eggs, no baskets, etc…..even though I had purchased all of it, it just needed to be put together, he flat out refused. So, I was a bit upset, and an argument ensued. Basically, I ended up on the phone with the bud, venting. Well, X decided he wanted me out, since I didn’t fall for his threat on my friend, and he went to the magistrate’s office, and told them I had a gun, and threatened to kill him. TOTALLY FALSE! I have never even touched a gun in my life, much less threatened with one, or owned one, or had one in my possession. Well, the magistrate issued a restraining order against me. I wasn’t allowed in my home, or any contact with my children, based all upon a lie from my X!
The order was good for 2 weeks, and then would be dropped if my X didn’t peruse it further, which he didn’t. During that time I stayed with a friend, and X continued his antics.
Shortly after that, I got a full time job as an Administrative Assistant, continued to work at the tanning place, and then went for a waitress job part time nights. This waitress job was at a local strip club, and I made pretty good money. Eventually, I quit the other jobs, and stuck with the waitressing job, as I was working 5 days a week there, and doing really good.
January 1998 rolls around, and X starts up again, spouting some crap about how I have a gun, and am going to kill him, but again the magistrate takes this liar at his word, and issues the order. I go to stay with a high school friend, closer to my job, and am there for about 6 weeks. From there I moved to a townhouse in Centerville, and have 2 other roomies, one of which I worked with. During this time, X has violated the restraining order, by coming by my work, harassing me, asking them to fire me, demanding money from me (which I gave him) and then whining about me not giving him any. After all of his harassment, I contacted an attorney, who knows X, and basically she tells me, that I’m only gonna get peace from this situation if I move back in with him. SO …like a retard, I did. (BIG MISTEAK)
The following year, has many ups and downs, but basically, I have to put up with his verbal abuse, accusations, and his dropping of my daughter at the BF’s when he is pixxed at me, which sometimes occurred daily, and I had to leave work to go retrieve her.
Eventually, we were in separate bedrooms. I had purchased a queen size bed when I was living in Centerville, and I was on that in one room, and he on his bed, in another room.
Well, April 1999 rolls around, and I met Brian (THANK GOD) and he and I get together, and X goes nuts. He stalks Brian, calls Brian’s X (Moo Cow) and me as well. I get a restraining order on him, and he still drives by my work, threatening me, and Brian, etc…even with witnesses. When Brian and I were living together, X refused to see my girls, and wanted the boys with him, so they lived with him for a few months (they would later move in with me and Brian) So, they spent every weekend with us, so all the kids could be together. He continued to play these games until Brian and I moved to Dale City.
TO BE CONTINUED......