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| Chrétien firing on all cylinders Toronto – Prime Minister Jean Chrétien has had a busy couple of weeks on the firing range and many observers are surprised by his latest attempt. It all began a while ago with the apparent release of Herb Gray, an aging and cancer-ridden, although who could tell, parliamentarian. For Chrétien this was only the beginning. “Hi ’ad to let ‘erb goes because I could no longer struggle with the pronunciation d’of his nom,” the Right, although leaning to the left, Honourable Prime Minister said. (I had to let Herb go because I couldn’t tolerate the struggle of trying to say ‘Herb’) Next, two weeks ago, Art Eggleton, at the time Minister of Defence, was released of his obligations as a Cabinet member. H’i ‘ave h’always ‘ad problems avec the term defence. Where is de’ fence? Why do I needs a Minister for de fence?” (Minister of the fence? Where is the fence? Why am I paying some h’anglo to watch a fence?) Recently and suddenly, Chrétien gave Paul Martin, long time Cabinet member and heir apparent, his walking papers. It is felt that Martin was spending too much time campaigning for Chrétien’s job. “Oui, d’ere were h’always balloon coming from de ceiling and de band were toujours playing songs of joy and jubilation,” Chrétien recalled. (Yes, the atmosphere was always off the track of governing and always on to replacing my sorry h’ass.) Most recently, it is felt that Chrétien, overcome with firing-euphoria, actually had Buck Martinez, former coach of the Toronto Blue Jays, released from his post, too. “We are not certain but a call did come from outside the organization that suggested that ‘Buck was fini, too,’” an anonymous spokesman for the Jays confirmed. |
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