Air Canada to layoff 3600 because of war in Iraq
Toronto – Air Canada employees are facing numerous layoffs and the company is suggesting that the war in Iraq is a ‘force majeur’, that’s French for ‘major rectal pain’, in their decision.
“We have to become a leaner and meaner flying machine,” says Chief Executive Officer Robert “Round ‘em up and give ‘em pink slips” Milton.
In other war related news, the Toronto Blue Jays are suggesting that the war in Iraq will keep them from the World Series podium again this year.
The war in Iraq is also the reason that Montreal’s Canadien continue to experience suckage according to a recent press release.
Spokesmen for Premier Ernie Eves have hinted that he is regressing to the image of his predecessor since the war in Iraq has begun saying, “We just can’t focus on imagery at a time like this.”
Saddam Hussein is promoting the excuse that he has lousy look-a-likes because he ‘wasn’t given enough warning before the onslaught of aggression’.
Anheuser Busch is blaming their poor quality beer on the war in Iraq.
In the first case ever recorded of suspense actually killing someone, Joseph Coors death has been blamed on the war in Iraq.
NASA, after careful research and thorough investigation, is almost ready to cite the war in Iraq for all its shuttle disasters and any of the the-moon-landings-were-fake documentaries.
History’s alleged prognosticator, Nostradamus, is quoted as blaming the war on Iraq for everyone believing whatever else he wrote to be a prognostication.
In California, OJ Simpson and Robert Blake are negotiating for the rights to blame the war in Iraq for the murders of their wives.
Michael ‘Freakboy’ Jackson has really gone overboard this time. He is now suggesting that the war in Iraq is the cause of all of his botched facial reconstructions, his poor career moves, including the one glove thing, burning hair and little-boy-buggery, and his own sister, Janet.
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