October 18, 1997

THE TRINK PAGE

Times are hard

The current economic downturn (read: recession) has affected the local nitery entertainment scene in more ways than one. Customers with businesses into which they poured millions of baht over the years are going bankrupt. Money is tight and the rate of interest banks charge has soared, discouraging those in need of loans from applying for them.

They are reduced to literally begging friends and relatives to let them borrow ("As much as you can afford; I'd appreciate it"), but without offering collateral or a date when the money will be returned. Cutting costs, they are selling what they can and moving to less expensive accommodations. Unable to keep up payments, their new cars are being repossessed.

Many working for others are being laid off, those with contracts told that they won't be renewed. Projects are being killed or postponed until the situation improves in the unforeseeable future. The cadre being kept on are the lucky ones, more so if they are paid in foreign currency. The general feeling is that the economy is braking to a halt, pessimists and optimists disagreeing only on for how long.

I meet them while making my rounds and observe them crying in their beer. "As soon as my income dried up, my wife walked out on me," one told me the other night. "There was no big fight. I came home and found that she'd cleared out, taking the TV. We've been married five years and she didn't even write a goodbye note. At least she left the furniture."

"I'm a little short of cash right now. You wouldn't have a couple of thousand baht to tide me over until I get to the bank, would you? Don't worry, I'm good for it," another said to me. I shook my head and he shrugged his shoulders. Taking a sip from his suds, he said: "Not to worry, things'll get better. I still have faith in this country." I had the feeling that he was talking to himself.

A Thai publican in the Patpong area told me that he sold one his two watering holes. "I was losing money with both. My regulars were still coming, but instead of their usual three or four beers they bought only one and nursed it all night. They couldn't afford any more and my savings were gone. Maybe I should have sold the two, but I like this life. Times are hard."

A Thai restaurateur was frustrated and kept shaking his head. "I can't understand how it happened," he said. "Thailand was going up and up, but now down and down. I've lost faith in the government. We need General Prem or Anand to restore confidence. The trouble is the people upcountry. In the next election they might vote in the same politicians we have now. Then we'll never get back on our feet."

Amazing Thailand '98-'99 is taking on the aura of a panacea for the Realm's troubles. Envisioned are millions of wealthy tourists flocking to our shores with the sole purpose of throwing money around, more than enough to repay IMF and foreign loans. Wishful thinking because quite a lot will be charter flights on tight budgets and backpackers lacking the wherewithal to splurge.

They won't like it, but the bar girls/Go-Go dancers will have to face the prospect of reducing their asking fees for extra-curricular activities to attract punters, shortime. Figure 500 baht in Pattaya and Soi Cowboy, 750 baht at Nana Entertainment Plaza and 1,000 baht in the Patpong area. Perhaps less. Like the man said: "Times are hard."

A tip o' the hat to Ital-Thai for taking over construction of the skytrain. The work is being done with the company's notable efficiency and they just might get it finished in time for the Asian Games. Let's cross our fingers and wish them godspeed.

THE fuzz turned up in force in the Patpong area, without sniffer dogs, to search for drugs Friday last. And as in earlier raids the oases were clean, but it won't stop them from coming back. That the war against crime would be successful against more nefarious targets is worth considering. Cases of "TIT" (This Is Thailand).

INTIRA wants it known that there has been no increase in the price of suds and firewater at Peppermint Bistro (Patpong Road). Come by.

A reader's definition. Keyboard plaque - the buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.

NEP publicans are steamed-up by tourists entering their boites carrying bottles of beer bought in a supermarket, sitting on bar stools and refusing to order because they already have their drinks. When told that they must order or leave, they head for the door shouting: "Clip-joint! Scam!" Do they do the same in their homelands, I wonder?

THE outdoor Thai kitchen between Voodoo Bar and the Arcade has caught on with the demimondaines at NEP. It ought to be around for a long time to come.

TOMORROW, Stable Lodge (Sukhumvit Soi 8) celebrates its fifth anniversary as well as the sixth anniversary of Stable Restaurant. A reception between 6 and 7 p.m. Live music. The all-you-can-eat barbecue from 7 p.m. is priced at six baht (no mistake). Erik and Stephan bid all well-wishers welcome.

CALLED crayfish by some and crawfish by others, they look like miniature lobsters and are very famous in New Orleans. A Thai variety is at least as tasty and only Bourbon St Restaurant & Bar (Washington Square), run by Doug and Darrell, offers it. Served with corn-on-the-cob and potato, they are boiled in a secret spice recipe. Breaking them open, you eat the tail meat and suck the heads. 300 baht for 1/2 kilo, 550 baht for one kilo. A visit is in order.

BUTTERFLY BAR (Soi Cowboy) is being gutted and the wall between it and Country Road will be torn down. When completed, the enlarged premises'll be called Country Road. It won't be a disco, but will feature a live band. I'll keep you Posted.

FYI (for your information). Beer at Tilac bar (Soi Cowboy) is 40 baht until 8:30 p.m. 'Nuff said.

"YOU must come again when you have less time" (Walter Sickert to Denton Welch).

THE fourth annual T.Q. Masters will be held on Friday, October 24, at Phoenix Golf Course. The 1,200 baht entry fee includes green/caddy fees, commemorative polo shift, buffet lunch and trophies. The award ceremony will take place during the 5 p.m. Happy Hour back at T.Q. 1 (Beach Road), where the coveted green jacket will be passed on to the '97 winner. Interested parties should see Woody at T.Q. 1.

JIAB is having a birthday party today at Offshore Bar & Restaurant (Ban Chang, Rayong). Free food from 8 p.m. Come one, come all.

MARINE DISCO (on the Golden Mile) charges 95 baht for a small bottle of local beer. Don't expect change...

MESSAGE on a tourist's T-shirt: I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

DATES you may be interested in - Halloween (October 31); Loy Krathong (November 14); Thanksgiving (November 25).

DOWN Phuket way, The Bounty Bar, formerly moored in Soi Bangla, has been re-fitted and re-launched along Kata Beach (opposite the Boat House Hotel). Skippered by Ta and Bill "the Whiz" Hartman, it features free snacks instead of a Happy Hour.

A reader (Internet) asks if I'm the same Nite Owl whose column appeared in the Bangkok World when he was stationed here umpteen years ago. Oui.

I don't often get to plug greener pastures/the key to paradise, but Matthias E. Froelich requests that I do just that. "Santi Thani is a hillside housing estate on Ko Samui of 150 rai facing Pha-Ngan and Tao Island to the north. The development is well on the way and there are land plots and house models to suit anybody's taste and budget." For details, phone 01 956 52 64.

WHERE did the yuppies go after leaving Royal City Avenue? How about Soi Thanon Tanao (off Rajdamnern Avenue)? Many bistro-type restaurants/wine bars have opened there of late and the cars parked all around, driven by young Thais, are upmarket. Curiously it is near Khao San Road, the backpackers haven. Cases of "MANURE" (huMAN natURE).

THE Bolshoi Ballet from Tashkent will perform at the Thailand Cultural Centre. Swan Lake on October 23 and 24 at 8 p.m., Cinderella on the 25th at 8 p.m. and on the 26th at 2:30 p.m. Tix at 1,800, 1,500 1,300, 1,100 and 700 baht are available at Asia Books: Peninsula Plaza (Tel 253-9786-8).

ACCORDING to L.M. Boyd, Enrico Caruso, still thought by many to have been the world's greatest tenor, smoked two packs of Egyptian cigarettes a day.

A reader's oxymoron. Evaporated milk.

IN English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's."

A woman reader's aphorism. Whenever I want to break off with my boyfriends, I say: "We need to talk about our relationship" and they can't get away fast enough. One even left skid marks. It never fails.

IT'S IN The Official Explanations by Paul Dickson: "No matter what you do to instant coffee, it always tastes like instant coffee (Thomas H. Dial).

If a thing isn't worth doing, it isn't worth doing well (Sydney J. Harris).

No matter what you believe, you always find some people on your side that you wish were on the other side (Jascha Heifetz).

Man is planned obsolescence (Alan Hinds).

The next war can't start until the generals from the previous one have had time to write their memoirs (Michael Jackson).

Fans don't boo nobodies (Reggie Jackson).

Never buy what you don't want because it is cheap (Thomas Jefferson).

It is better to ask for forgiveness than permission (Richard Molony).

Non-smokers create a vacuum and draw the smoke towards themselves (Gary Joachim).

People will do to you what you let them (Juliet Awon-Uibopuu).

The only thing alike in all cultures is the police (Donald Kaul).

Where there's a will, there's a lawsuit (Oliver Herford).

Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people (James Russell Lowell).

The only thing that saves us from bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty (Eugene McCarthy).

It doesn't matter what you do: it only matters what you say you've done (Nancy Manske).

Anything based on greed and malice is on a firm foundation and will prevail (R.L. Meller, MD).

The smaller the country, the greater the passport formalities (Margaret K. Omar).

You don't win wars by dying for your country; you win wars by making the other poor bastard die for his country (General George Patton).

The thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble is sex (John Barrymore).