DICTIONARY OF DATING

ATTRACTION : the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT : what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING : the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL : avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
EASY : a term used to describe a woman who had the sexual morals of a man.
EYE CONTACT : a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND : a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE : a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get".
INTERESTING : a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT : what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY : how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC : a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
SOBER : condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love