Friday I had to work from 8pm to midnight. It wasn't a whole lot of fun. I wish I could have gone to church instead. Saturday I planned on going to work but never made it out the door. The pastor of my church called me and I spent a good part of the afternoon working on church stuff. Then I left to go to Delaware Dave's place for Crabfest.
Borrowed this picture from a friend. Look at all the crab shells. The middle of that table literally become buried in crabs parts.

I don't know...small crabs just don't do it for me. Too much work for too little meat. I like king crabs that you find at buffets. MMMmmmmm. After that I was going to go home, but Scott called me out and convinced me to go to AC with a bunch of other people. Boy I'm glad I went because between the 8 of us that went...we won ~$1,000. I played craps and won $100. My friend standing next to me won over $500, and we were playing right next to each other for the same amount of time. My other friend won about $160. Someone else won $125 from slots. Another person about $75 from the slots as well. Everyone more than doubled their money even except me. Even though I won $100 I STILL FELT LIKE A LOSER. I just can't win. My mom is so concerned that I'm going to be addicted to gambling...but I know I just can never be like that...even though I do have an addictive personality. My parents taught me all too well the value of a penny. Heck I still pick pennies off the ground...well as long as it ain't covered in dog poo or something.

Sunday with only like 4 hours of sleep I went to morning service. Had lunch after that and drove to NYC to meet a friend for dinner. I didn't leave as early as I wanted to and even got stuck in traffic...not to mention the sporadic torrential downpours. It was nice to see my friend. We just talked and enjoyed each other's company. We even went to a cafe which we found out was more like a "drinking" place...had the nastiest juice concoction. Can you believe they charged us $20 for two glasses of nasty juice. It wasn't even alcoholic!!! ARgh...anyway...drove back home trying to talk to people on the phone so I didn't fall asleep behind the wheel.

Found out that my friend to day didn't get hit by a car. She ran into another biker head on. It's not as serious as I thought but she did sustain a concusion and skull fracture. She's much better than I thought. Praise God. I went to visit her, and bumped into a few other church people. I was planning on going back to work but it didn't make sense to so I just waited at Mark's place until the web meeting. Ellen made dinner which was pretty good. Didn't end until around 10pm. Also learned that a good part of the Northeast experienced a blackout. Philly wasn't affected.

Found out this morning that my former small group leader, Jenny Kim, is in the hospital. She got hit by a car yesterday while riding her bike. My friend told me she's not seriously hurt, but that she's not doing too well either. I'm not sure what that means. Please pray that Jenny will make a full recovery.

I'm going to hopefully visit her. I remember when people visited me in the hospital, I felt so happy. I didn't realize how important it is to see familiar faces when you are stuck in the hosptial especially for a few days. Ever since then, I've made up my mind to return the favor. I'm so greatful to my friends and family who came to see me in the hospital each day. If you get the chance to visit someone in the hospital, do so, because it really does make the world of difference, something you hopefully won't have to experience, but if you ever do, you'll know what I mean.

Let me clarify about my Monday post about the song lyrics. "I just don't care what you have done in your life" is the part of the lyrics that really got to me. How many of us can really say that about someone else that you really care about? I'm not sure I can say that about myself. The past is the past. People can change...and even if they do...can you really leave behind the past? I would venture to say that other people are the same way as I am, which makes me feel even worse about the things I've done in my life. It's hard to bury the past, whether it's for good or bad. Just today when I went into the bathroom, the thought of that November day haunted me. Why hasn't my life changed more? Should I be a completely different person? Shouldn't my perspective on life be drastically different? I'm not sure that it is. In fact I'd say I'm back to where I was before it happened.

Yesterday I learned how to "record" streaming files. So yestereday I couldn't help but become a download whore. Yesterday had some KFC for dinner too. Mmmmm it was good.

Some asshole took the bulb off my keychain light, and yes I use the word asshole. I'm sure it was just one of my friends trying to be funny. Well I'm laughing you nimwit. har har har. Now give it back. I noticed it missing on Sunday when I needed to use it. I just can't stand for stupid jokes like that...especially when the person doesn't immediately let you know it's a joke. Stuff like that just isn't funny. Stupid shit like that really really bugs me. Like when this one girl was going to hide the stylus on my $500 pda/phone in her purse. She forgot about it until I had to "remind" her. Anyway she thought I over reacted, but to me that's like stealing the hub caps off your brand spanking new car. It just really irks me when I see something "missing" that's not supposed to. It devalues it's worth. I just looks stupid. Like when those poor people buy luxury cars but are too damn cheap to fix the car after it's been damaged. It just isn't right. It doesn't fit. It doesn't make sense. Need I say more? Am I over reacting?

The other day I had a long debate with my mom about prayer. She seems to subscribe to the school of thought that if you pray for something and truly believe, it will eventually come true. For example, if you are sick, and you pray like you've never prayed before and believe God will heal you, eventually God will answer your prayer and make you better. To me that didn't make any sense because that's kind of like expecting your will and not God's. Then I told her, if that's true, why am I not healed yet? I pray for my health every day, every prayer almost without exception. She said she wasn't sure how hard or sincere I prayed, so that's why she didn't know. Then I asked her...well if you are praying for me, then why hasn't God answered your prayer (i.e.-for me to get better)? Aren't you praying hard for me? I thought I had her stumped, but she replied with a question. If mom were to pray for you to be saved, does that mean God will save you just because mom prayed for it? But I still don't think her arguement makes any sense. I think prayer is a way for us to understand things...not a medium for us to expect things.

So today I wake up, but my roommate is in the bathroom getting ready to go to work. I'm able to quickly get ready and run out the door, minutes after him. I get to CSC for a Detailed Design Review. Basically there wasn't any other system engineers to do the job, and since a representative from Lockheed has to be there, I went. Basically I had no idea what the DDR was about and basically agreed to whatever the programmers said. The only bad thing is that I had to sign the package, so this could come back to haunt me if those programmers did something wrong.

Also while at work I was reading the local newspaper. It seems like for the past few weeks, at least a few fatal car accidents have been occuring. Today involved a 26 year old girl that died, and 26 year old guy that survived. When I read stuff like that, I just feel...well sad. People that should be in the prime of their life getting snuffed out at such a young age. Dying in a car accident just doesn't seem right.

Anyway I read this Dear Abby column a few days ago and I kept it. I'll share it with you.

Dear Abby: Like "smiling Through the Pain," I, too, suffer from chronic pain. When my doctor told me there were no medications at this time that would make the pain go away, I asked, "How am I going to endure this?" She replied, "Live one day at a time. Live each day to the fullest. Laugh heartily, love deeply, pray daily - and let the rest roll off."
I then asked, "How am I going to live with the pain?" She said, "Surround yourself with positive things - positive people, sunshine, rainbows, roses, puppies and kittens."
After reflecting upon what she had said, I realized this is a great prescription for anyone's life. That doctor probably saved mine. Not only did she give my monstrous disease a name, she helped me to make my life worth living again. I have good days and bad. I curse the bad ones and praise God for the good ones. The "good" pain comes when I have accomplished what I wanted to do that day. The "bad" pain comes when I refrain from doing what I want to do - and hurt anyway. Every day I get up, get dressed and have something planned to do. And, Abby, I try to perform at least one act of kindness for someone each day. Regardless of my pain, it makes each day seem fuller. - Trying to Smile Through the Pain, Park Hills, MO.

A favorite song of mine is "I'll Fly With You" by Gigi D'Agostino. For some reason this part of the lyrics didn't hit me until recently. I still believe in your eyes, I just don't care what you have done in your life. Baby I'll always be here by your side. Don't leave me waiting too long. Please come by.

Saturday's canoeing trip was a lot of fun. It seemed like the weather was going to hold up, but a few minutes after we launched we could see downstream the rain beginning to pour, and all we could do was brace for the momentary downpour. It didn't last too long but the rest of the trip was a lot of fun. A few things that happened on the trip that was funny. Ed was wearing a hat, and I told him I had a hat just like that, but I didn't know where it went. That I had probably lost it when I moved into this apartment. Ed told me he had extra hats, and so both of us go back to his car and he hands me this hat that looked a lot like my hat. I examined it a little bit and then realized IT WAS MY HAT. There was a beach tag that I had attached to it a year ago when we went to the shore. So now I have my hat back...the one I got when I was in Turkey.

The canoe trip was a lot of fun. I shared canoes with Dana. I don't think this girl really likes me to begin with me. A while back she got her hair permed, and I made a comment to which she sharply snapped back at me. After that I made it a point to NOT TALK to her. Even if she said Hi or something I would completely ignore her...not even acknowledge her. Then one time I think she got upset and asked me why I was being so mean. I felt like a jerk after that and so from that point on I tried to be nice to her. So here we are sharing a canoe and you know how it is with people and water...you got to get someone else wet. To make a long story short, since she was sitting up front, she basically got drenched, and I remained relatively dry. Even though she got soaked, I'm hoping she had a lot of fun...but I don't know, I just can't tell with her. I hope she's a good sport and doesn't hold grudges.

The whole group

Dana and me

Shao and Nancy's boat didn't flip...it just sank.

Doug thought it'd be funny to rock the boat.

On saturday night a bunch of people come over the apartment and we had dinner. Shao and Nancy cooked some stuff, and we also ordered some stuff from Buca di Beppo.

Anyway today after church I went to Tae and Clara's wedding at a country club. It was a nice wedding. Most memorable part I think is when the dance floor was opened up. At first some old Korean songs were played. Almost all the old Korean married couples who hadn't just eat and run actually came out onto the dance floor. That in itself was shocking. And then even more surprising...they were all dancing pretty well...almost like they had all rehearsed it or something. It basically looked like ballroom dancing. The whole dance floor was filled with couples swinging each other around and everything. Usually when us younger single folk dance we congregate in circles...but man this was really a site to see. And if that wasn't bad enough. The DJ started playing relatively newer fast tempo songs. I was expecting all the old fogies to clear the floor, but NO...they stayed and danced some more. Seriously they put us younger people to SHAME. And then I found out most of the older married couples were friends of the groom's parents...and that they had all taken the same dance class together before. Either way I was VERY impressed.

So it's a saturday evening and I'm at work. Oh Joy. Actually I just got back from a canoeing trip. It was a lot of fun. I'm having photos developed right now, and in the mean time I'm just putting in a little more time at work. Hopefully I'll have the pics up by tonight...that's if the stinking scanner on my computer works. I also have to finish up Tae and Clara's wedding slide presentation. I'm not even sure I know how I'm going to get this all to work. I was not able to test any of this out during the wedding rehearsal on Thursday.

Yesterday I just worked and went to Phileo fellowship meeting at church. Had to make sure the computers will be able to handle video for tomorrow's services. After that we went to eat at Philly Diner. Went home and watched "How to lose a guy in 10 days" until like 3 in the morning. The movie wasn't all that bad, but I didn't like how the guy basically took all the heat for "betting" even though the girl was just as guilty.

The last couple of days I've gotten average to little sleep...but unlike before I'm so sleepy at work. The constant hum of the computers, and the frigid air blowing from the vents, makes it so easy to doze off in front of the computer. Occassionally I have to go take a walk around, even outside to defrost a bit. I'm getting to know some of the people that I constantly see that the test shots though. We have friendly conversation now and again. It certainly makes work much more interesting.

After work today I went to a wedding rehearsal. After the rehearsal, we had dinner at Buca di Beppo. I can't believe we ate all the food that we ordered. The drive back was terrible though. It's dark, and it's raining, and I can't see squat, and I'm growing sleepy. I'm kind of surprised I made it home. Now that NJ passed that Drowsy Driving law, I gotta be more careful. If I get into an accident I can be charged with a felony account.

Nothing too exciting happened today. After work I went to the grocery store where I bumped into Yujin and Lynnette. We went home and I made curry for dinner. I ate so much for dinner. I actually felt very full. After dinner I met up with a friend at the golfing range to hit a few balls and to pick something up. That's about it. Exiciting huh?

Can you believe someone stole my bike. Why would anyone steal a ten-speed, mind you a "sky blue" ten-speed...not baby blue as some might believe. I never locked that puppy up because I never thought anyone would steal it. I guess someone must have needed that bike pretty bad. ha ha ha. I'm more perplexed than I am upset at the whole incident. Well I hope whoever took it is putting it to good use...and if I should happen to stumble into the person that took my bike...oh man...

Anyway lately I've turned into an overnight Friendster whore. I must say it's a great way to keep in touch with those you've lost touch with. I'm amazed at how well connected my college friends are. I just remember one or two of them, and all of a sudden I'm finding them all. I've even found my ex.

This picture is from Sunday. Dave and I playing DDR.

You know what bugs me. Reading other people's weblogs and seeing how they have a loooooooooooooong list of friends. I feel two things. Dang I wish I had that many friend that blogged as well. Well it'd be nice to have that many friend at all I suppose. This person had 132 people on her friends list. 132 people!!! I don't think I know that many people I could call friends. That brings me to my next thought I suppose. Would I want to be that person's "friend" if I was Friend #133. I know I don't have a lot of people on my "friends" list, but I hope those of you that are on it, feel special. Because being a number on my list actually MEANS something...ha ha ha.

Last night I had some pretty cool dreams, although I can't remember what they are now though. I remember one part of the dream where I was accused of hoarding sand or something to build sand castles in the sky. This is just after I've been listening to Ian Van Dahl's - Castles In The Sky.

I'm up to episode 6 on Fall Story. I feel like Tae-suk in some regards...minus the nice BMW and money up the wah-zoo.

On a more serious note, I read this article about prayer. Is God Saying No?

Saturday I didn't do a whole lot. Basically slept in until noon. Man it felt good to just wake up, go back to sleep, wake up, go back to sleep, so on and so forth. Then I watched TV for a little while before going to work for like 2 hours. Then got back home slept some more, made some dinner, and then hung out for Tae's bachelor party. Not really a bachelors party, but I guess he didn't want anything too big either. I had the priviledge to meet some of Tae's dong-sengs. I met this guy I've been calling "The Incredible Hulk". He wasn't all that intimidating, until I found out it was the same guy that got into a fight I witnessed a while back. He was ferocious...thus the name Hulk. During the dinner, I thought I did something that he might have considered disrespectful, and then a little while later he asks me my age. I'm a little scared at that point because now I think he just wants to know if it's okay to kick my ass or not...but he was very nice during the whole dinner. These guys are like hard-core Korean guys. One got pissed at me once because I called my older friend Tae, and not by the respectful form "Tae-hyoung".

This morning I slept in. I didn't have to run the slide projector today. Billy is going to fill in for me for the month of August. It's was nice to finally just enjoy the service for once. I got up to go to church and I heard my roommate Paul leave the apartment before me. I should have asked him if I could have just rode with him...but he left before I could ask. I left about 5 or 10 minutes after him. But on my way to church I passed him. Dang that boy drives slow. I honked as I passed him. I think he was surprised to see me driving my brother's car. At a light he pulls up and asks me where I got the car. I told him I got a new car, and he retorts "Yeah right, Massachusetts plates?!?!". Maybe I should say I stole the car. That might seem more believable. ;)

After church me and 3 other guys from my small group went to Great Adventures - Six Flags. We rode on Great American Scream Machine, Superman, Batman & Robin: The Chiller, Batman The Ride, and Nitro. The Great American Scream Machine was our first ride and essentially there was no wait. It was a great, fast, fun ride. Definitely not worth waiting for though. The next ride was Superman. Boy was the wait LONG. At the half way point, we decided to place bets as to how many more rides would have to go before we'd get on. I bet 15 more rides (~30 people per ride). We were actually 16th. Superman was fun though. Then the batman rides were next. The first half of The Chiller was cool...but not the second half which you do completely backward. I seriously got off the ride feeling very light-headed and woozy. I thought I was going to faint getting off. The other Batman ride was okay. It was a good ride but I'd prefer not to do any of the twisting rides again. The last ride was Nitro. The wait wasn't too bad, but that is seriouslly a fun ride. I didn't want to go back on it because of all the G-forces you pull, I thought my head was about to burst from all the ups and down force (I had a slight headache). I bought the picture after we got off Nitro. It seemed like a fun...ny picture. The ride was too much for me thus the grimace, but everyone else seems to enjoy it a lot.

Myself, Dave, John, and Paul.

I thought this part of the ticket was funny. It's a warning for the Safari Park that the monkeys will cause damage to your personal effects.

I spend a lot of my work time at a miltary test site called CSEDS - Combat System Engineering Development Site. There is this one old yellow sports car that's parked outside. On the hood is this huge, immaculate painting of Bruce Lee. Obviously this person must be a huge Bruce Lee fan. Anyway I'm walking into the building and there's this one Navy guy in his khakis and says to me, "You must be the guy that own that yellow Datsun out there". He thought I'm the huge Bruce Lee fan. Stuff like that doesn't really bother me, but I guess what gets me is how thoughtless that remark was, because it showed a subtle disregard of cultural sensitivity.

Lately I've been having to deal with people who expect me to make them feel better. How do you do that when you're in the same boat. I was talking on the phone with someone yesterday and she was complaining about how blue she felt. I didn't know what to say to her because I was right down there with her in the same situation. Man was that an awkward conversation, not to mention totally bloated with hot air. I couldn't even think of a joke to say, and that's almost a sure fire way to lighten the mood. I need to take some comedy classes or something. I think I can be funny guy but in a very different way. Usually it's at my own expense. I need to learn how to be witty. That's probably something you're born with though. Ah well.

The other day my friend Jone, invited me to her "friends" list on a website called Friendster. It¡¯s basically this networking website that shows you who's friends with who, and how you are connected with other people. It¡¯s actually a pretty cool website, but I think most of my friends would think it¡¯s gay. So anyway I get the invite and as I look at her profile I see that it¡¯s a picture of her and her sister Gathy*. But it was obvious that it was a group picture, and Jone had simply cropped the "other" people out of the picture. Two guys were sitting in front of Gathy and Jone, because you can just see the tops of their heads. Now when I see this I think to myself¡¦are there really no other pictures that that person can find of themselves? Or at the very least if you want to use that picture (with other people), then make an effort to cut them out completely. When I see that, I kind of feel bad for the other people who got "cut out". They weren¡¯t good enough to make the final cut.

So anyway, I¡¯m with my roommate Shoe, and he tells me that our friend Jone has sent us a LARGE picture over email. He opens it up and to my surprise it¡¯s the same picture that Jone used on her Friendster profile. It was a picture of Jone, Gathy, Shoe, and myself!!! Those other people cut out were me and my roommate!!! ARGH!!! They were pictures taken at a friend¡¯s 4th of July BBQ, but I didn¡¯t remember taking those pictures. Anyway I just thought that was interesting, and even more so, surprised that I didn't recognize the picture was with me in it.

Today was another lazy morning. I heard the alarm go off but just slept in. Ahhh it felt good. I finally make it into work at 10:30, but on the way I get stuck behind these really slow grandparents. They were at an intersection and basically passed up so many opportunities to go, even when she had the right of way. I finally honked at them, and they hesitantly crept their way through the intersection. KEEP OFF THE ROAD IF YOU DON¡¯T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!!! I guess they were waiting for traffic to halt before they could cross. ARGH!!! STUPID OLD DRIVERS. They think they are driving safe but actually they create more hazards. So anyway they turn left and so do I, and I¡¯m still stuck behind these slow-pokes. I put pedal to the metal and pass them on a double solid yellow line. Don¡¯t worry I didn¡¯t put anyone¡¯s life in danger, there weren¡¯t other cars coming in the opposite direction nor did I try to run them off the road (Don¡¯t worry Eugene, I didn¡¯t really have to gun it since they were going so stinking slow, I just gave it a little gas that¡¯s all). So anyway these gramps keep following me turn after turn and at that point I¡¯m getting a little paranoid that they are "following" me. Just imagine that the typical Hollywood vigilante gramps following the bad guys around to give the cops the lead. That¡¯s how I felt. So I tried to speed through my turns to lose them. I was even considering parking in the next lot, so that they might think I¡¯m a bad employee of another company, thus protecting the reputation of Lockmeed Hartin.

* Disclaimer: Names of people and places have been altered to conceal their identity.