Dragon "what if" jokes

What if........

If your whole family tree's straight from A D&D, You're a dragon!

If your mattress was minted in 50 B.C., You're a dragon!

If you have spikes on your tail, and watch where you exhale, You're a dragon!

Breath a little smoke, spout a little fire, make a Knight perspire - you're a dragon!

If your wings put a B-52's to shame, You're a dragon!

If a salesman flees from a fountain of flame, You're a dragon!

If your hide is rock hard and a cave's your back yard, You're a dragon!

Burn a castle down, torch a local town, hiss each time you frown - you're a dragon!

If you're bank account's growing as fast as your fangs, You're a dragon!

If each time you see cattle you get hunger pains, You're a dragon!

If your pupils are slits and no shoe ever fits, You're a dragon!

Hoard a little gold, find volcanoes cold, chomp instead of scold - you're a dragon!

If some slob with a lance thinks that he's got a chance, You're a dragon!

If you can't give a "hickey" without drawing blood, You're a dragon!

If your kids hatch from eggs and have wings and four legs, You're a dragon!

Light comes from your eyes, find they hypnotize, have to wear disguise - you're a dragon!

If you're covered with scales, with talons for toenails, You're a dragon!

If you can shed your skin, and think thirty tons thin, You're a dragon!

If you're scared of St. George and sleep after you gorge, You're a dragon!

Cook without a grill, only what you kill, finding that a thrill - you're a dragon!

If, when angry, you roar, with a voice none ignore, You're a dragon!

If somebody should mug you and wind up your lunch, You're a dragon!

If your best friends are snakes, and your belches, earthquakes, You're a dragon!

Go be a gourmet, eat une vauche flambe, thirty times a day - you're a dragon!

If you're fifty feet long, and your breath's rather strong, You're a dragon!

If the sight of you scares lions, tigers, and bears, You're a dragon!

If your bathtub has wharves, and you pick fights with dwarves, You're a dragon!

Fewmets in the john, sulphur when you've gone, scorches on the lawn - you're a dragon!

If someone is a creep, and he won't let you sleep, Fix his wagon! For he might as well know why your eyes tend to glow -
YOU'RE A DRAGON!









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Written by,Rob Rice
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