Autumn

by Drakkenfyre

Warning: Rated R

    The sun had set two hours when he heard the engine draw close then stop.  There were a thousand like it, yet he knew it was hers.  Jack McCoy looked up from his scotch for only the brief moment that it took for him to witness her enter the pub with the usual finesse.
     His heart rose at the knowledge that she was well, but he was saddened to see her, since every one of her mysterious visits was marked with pain.
     She approached him, motorcycle helmet in hand, and smiled.  He met her eyes and said, "Hello, Old Man."  It was a reference to the Hemingway novel, "The Old Man and the Sea", in which the old fisherman suffers, but maintains his dignity.  Jack always thought of her when he saw that book on his shelf.
     "You look well, Jack," Anna replied from her full and bright lips; the ones that he recalled tasted so wonderful that autumn.
    He raised his eyebrows and asked, "What are you doing here?  I thought you were in Albany these days, defending some two-bit slime who groped a chambermaid at a convention."
     Her eyes betrayed the hurt at this comment.  She said, "Everyone is entitled to an effective defense.  I know you don't agree with what I do, but we can't all be perfect like you."
     It was Jack's turn to be hurt by her words.  They weren't usually like this.  He thought back to the time at her cabin in Canada.  They sat around the campfire and roasted marshmallows and talked about whatever they felt like until dawn.  It was the nights like that which made him tolerate their disagreements.  He took stock in the fact that their caring ran far deeper than their anger.
     She walked around to the other side of him and sat in the next stool, limping slightly like she had a blister in her riding boots.  She always limped a little, but it was worse when she was either very active or sitting for a long time.
     "Did you just get here from Albany?" he asked.
     She nodded, then added, "I tried your place first, then I thought I'd check here."
     "So why did you come down?"
     "Well, you know the Jenkins kidnapping/rape case?  He used to work for us and... I appropriated his file from HR.  This is only a copy, but you will find this interesting enough to get a subpoena.  And I missed you, Jack."
     He rose to his full height and said, "Let's get out of here, Anna."

     They nimbly darted through the light traffic on the way to his house.  She was the more daring rider; so much so that he worried.  She took a left so hard that, despite the incredible lean angle, she nearly hit the curb.  Her back tire slid slightly and rose a thin powder of dirt from the gutter.  Jack shook his head and remembered that she really had no fear, at least not in the conventional sense.  There was a disturbing history that led to this, but he decided not to replay it this evening.
     When they arrived at his house, he poured them both drinks and returned to his living room.  Though she was sitting on his couch, he took the safe route and fell back into his armchair.  She sighed and asked, "Whatever happened to us, Jack?"
     He lowered his head and answered, "I don't know, Anna; I really don't."
     She stood and walked over to his bookshelf, to the place where he kept the 4x6 that she took at her cabin.  She had set the old SLR camera's timer and run into his arms, just in time to capture these seconds of happiness.
     Jack went to where she stood and put his arms around her shoulders.  She rested her cheek, wet with tears, against his arm.
     "Come to bed, Anna.  It's been a long night."
     He grasped her hand and gently led her to the bedroom.  Once there, he knelt in front of her and, with care, removed her socks.  It seemed that she could not bring herself to look at him.
     "What's the matter?" he asked.
     "I'm afraid that if I look at you, I'll admit to myself that I still love you.  And if I still love you, I'm afraid I won't be able to resist you... and we'll do something we'll regret."
     At that he rose and kissed her gently, first on the cheek, then on the lips, softly, while unbuttoning her shirt.
     "There's nothing we could do that I would ever regret.  You know that, Anna."  He added in a whisper, "My love."
     He felt her breathe deeply in his arms and let so much of the tension slip away.  She tentatively brought her tongue out to play on his lips and he released a desirous moan.  She took this as permission to re-acquaint herself with his body.  With dexterous movements she unbuttoned his shirt, starting from the top and revealing more of his chest with each flick of her fingers.  It had been too long, but she was still pleased with the shape he kept himself in.  When she circumscribed the borders of his ear with nibbles, he pulled her hips close before lowering her onto the bed.

     In the morning, he awoke to find her already gone, the sound of her motorcycle speeding away having blended into a dream.  His heart fell, but he supposed that he expected her to leave him again.  Jack then whispered in a sigh, "Happiness is fleeting, after all..."


 

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