"Magus1213: and now here we are... four years later, the curves of your pink font and the deep blue of mine are intertwined again in a destined sort of way"
"He's a little bigger now than from his Fresh Prince days. There's hope for me yet!" -Andy
Andy: Supposedly they're designing little robots like that so if you tear your jeans the
little robots will just fix them.
Me: What?! I don't want little robots in my pants!!
"He didn't record a song for this one." -Andy
"I ate a big red candle."
"Mmm... I just burned my tongue."
"Afternoon delight!"
"Brick, why do you have a hand grenade?" "I don't know."
"Como esta BITCHES!"
"I stabbed a man with a trident."
"I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!!!!"
"Jazz flute is for little fairy boys."
"It was discovered by the Germans. They named it San Diago, which in German means 'a whale's vagina'."
"God does not want her to live."
"Look! The most glorious rainbow!" "DO ME ON IT!"
"You stay classy... PLANET EARTH."
"I hear their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstruation!"
"My name's Kansas and this is my little boy Toto."
"Two dragons..."
"You think dragons ever...?" "DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!!!!"
"Do it."
"You stole my voice!"
Owen: All that chocolate and no whipped cream.
Ben: I don't know what that means.
"Why can't I transmit?!" -Jesse as an STD
"Umm...Shaq?" -Davy
Me: You're a chronic masturbator. I almost said Steve Nota.
Kevin: But then I would have fallen asleep.
Ginger: Why do all these molestings always involve Jesse?
Davy: HAVE YOU SEEN JESSE?!???!!!!
"El Presidente: STEP BACK!" -Random guy at Steak 'N Shake after the AI3 Tour
"Oh, water." -J-Gro
"Thank you. I love this." -J-Gro
"How are you guys in the grass? I wore this orange shirt just for you." -and J-Gro
"Steve I read this article about men being able to have breast cancer and Katie and I are worried about you so we need to give you a breast exam and you have to have your shirt off when we do it." -Bridget leaving Steve a message
Me: So, am I driving?
Bridget: Do you want to drive?
Mike: Duck-billed platypus. It's an amphibian.
Davy: That's not an amphibian, it's a bird!
Mike: A DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUS IS NOT A BIRD.
(massive talk about duck-billed platypusses until...)
Davy: Okay no, I know that's not true. I did a report on it and--
Mike: YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT WAS YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A
BIRD.
Me: A body of water that starts with a W.
Bridget: Water.
"REGINOLD MOUSE!" -Mike
Mike: Magic-Eye books.
Bridget: No, that doesn't count. I Books aren't magic!!!!
Davy: For "girl's name" we had Annabelle.
Me: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.
Bridget: I TOLD YOU we should have gone with Annalese!
Kevin: My brother's got leave.
Davy: Is that deadly?
"He thought I was Bobby." -Bridget
"Dameron! Dameron! Not a drill! Not a drill!" -Davy
"He'd probably take his shirt off for me no problem." -Andy, about Steve and breast cancer (a point for Sean)
"I can't wait until the Republican convention... where none of these voices will be heard." -Steve Colbert
Me: Mike, when are you going to drop off DDR in it's new home at my appartment?
Mike: I dunno, probably the 19th.
Me: Okay I have auditions at 4 but I should be back at 5 and I'm free all day.
Bridget: Are you excited to be the serrogate mother of Mike's DDR Katie?
Me: The serrogate mother? You mean the foster mother?
Bridget: Yeah, I dunno. They're similar.
Me: Yes but I'm not birthing the DDR and giving it away to Mike, I'm taking care of
the DDR for Mike.
(the conversation then went on to me wanting a DDR machine in every room of my
house)
Mike: If there were no rules, it wouldn't be that hard to fly a plane.
Andy: If there were no rules, it wouldn't be that hard to FLY.
"He looks like he's got a harem." -Mike, about Andy
Jesse: Strike three.
Kelly: But he's not out.
"What would Republican ice cream taste like? The blood of a thousand innocent Iraqis?" -Me
"I am depressed. Look how depressing this room is!" "I kinda like how depressing it is. It's like where dreams go to die." -The Big Bounce
"That guy really knows how to handle a ball." -Announcer for Men's Waterpolo, 2004 Summer Olympics (AMERICA BEATS CROATIA!!!!)
"It's a day spa, you fuck." -William H. Macy in Cellular
"...I've got a hair in my mouth. I hate that." -Patrick O'Gara
"Oh, there it is. It's white. *pause* I guess it doesn't matter what color it is." -Patrick O'Gara (At this, I sobbed uncontrollably with laughter.)
"Speaking of soulmates." -Ginger, upon hearing neighbor boy making a ruckus with a giggly skank-ho on cue during a discussion about sex and relationships.
"There is this EXTREMELY good-looking guy, who, if I had no morals whatsoever, I would wear a shirt that says 'Please, just take me now' and I would walk up to him while wearing it." -Melissa, on her man candy (not literally)
"That's so awesome! I wish I knew what a congigal visit means... HOWEVER, I'll just look it up while I'm in the library!" -Melissa, again
"Last year, one of the events was a coloring contest, but we made it more difficult by turning out the lights. This year we're gonna do the same thing, but without telling people, we are going to try and scare them while they are coloring, haunted-house style. And then, since every episode of Fear Factor usually involves people eating insects or something nasty and we don't really want to do that, we are going to have a gummy worm eating contest. And then we are going to round it off with Musical Chairs of Doom. Which is basically just musical chairs with a different name." -Matt, on Novemberfest
"I'm eating Tums. I have a little stomach problem. It's called a conscience." -Caitlin Scheib
"Did he just call Andy 'bro'?" "What?" "Did he just call Andy 'bro'?" "I can't hear you." "Did he just call Andy 'bro'?" "I still can't hear you. The answer to your question will most likely be 'yes' or 'no'." "DID HE JUST CALL ANDY 'BRO'??" "Yeah. He did."
Andy: You know Mandy Moore is dating Zach Braff.
Bridget: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Andy: I KNOW.
Bridget: Wh-why? No! This can't be!
Me: (in my idiot voice) What's the big deal about that?
Andy: I LOVE MANDY MOORE.
Bridget: AND I LOVE ZACH BRAFF.
Andy: I AM GOING TO MARRY HER.
Bridget: I AM GOING TO MARRY HIM.
Me: You two should break them up.
Chai: Samson, think SLEEZEBALL. Your character is a total sleezeball.
Me: Yeah, shouldn't be much of a stretch for you Samson.
Samson: WHAT DID YOU SAY?????!!!!!!
Me: Nothing Samson. YOU KNOW ME.
Samson: Yeah, *laughs his Samson laugh* I sure do.
Maddie: *annoying Brian with a wrapper* Lookit! Look at your face!
Brian: *in a completely "Brian Birch" sort of way* I can't see my face.
"The meercat was buried at midnight."-Sean
"You know how a load of bricks falls..."-My Dad
Me: He can get away with it because he uses metaphores and similies!!!!
Dad: I don't know what those are.
Me: Uh... fiefdom?
Dad: Fiefdom?! Is that a rap group?
Me: You would always use "firetruck" and dad and I would pull our hair out trying to
get it.
Dad: I WON.
Mom: Brian is getting married. In June. They're going to live in Milwalkee.
Dad: There was a lot of voter fraud in Milwalkee.
"I could have used a little more shark." -Maddie, during The Day After Tomorrow
"I've got the magic pick." -Me, TDAT
"Only your semen can save her now!" -Me, TDAT
"I'm sorry, I had to sodomize you to keep you warm." -Me, TDAT
"Glad to have your back... I mean... glad to have you back." -ME, TDAT
"Look out for the KILLER CHEETAHS! *pause* You never know at this point." -Maddie, TDAT
"And... can you guess? A ghost ship... in Manhattan..." -Me
"Whaaaaaaaaaat." -Maddie
"WHERE ARE THE WOLVES?!?!?!" -Maddie
"You got Quaided!" -Me
Maddie: It's so cute how Jake is with his sister.
KT: Who's his sister?
Maddie: Maggie Gyllenhall.
KT: Who's that?
Maddie: She was in Secretary... 40 Days and 40 Nights...
KT: Oh okay she was the--
Maddie: No, she was the girl's roommate. She was also in Mona Lisa Smile.
KT: I never saw Mona Lisa Smile.
Maddie: I'm sure you've seen her in something.
KT: Oh, wait, so she was the girl who hooked up with Jason Biggs.
Maddie: What? No, that wasn't him. He wasn't in that movie.
KT: Yes he was.
Maddie: No---that was Boys and Girls with Freddie Prinze Jr.
KT: *utterly confused*
Maddie: The guy in 40 Days and 40 Nights was the guy from Road Trip. The guy
with the Kramer Hair.
KT: But Biggs... he's from American Pie, right?
Maddie: Yeah, no, he wasn't in that movie.
KT: Okay, so, wait... *still confused*
Maddie: Man that Freddie Prinze Jr. What a crappy actor.
KT: She was in Boys and Girls. I remember Freddie in--
Maddie: She's All That?
KT: Um, yeah, I saw that, but in another one with what's her face...
Maddie: Um...
KT: The blonde chick... 10 Things I Hate About You. Um...
Maddie: Oh! Uh...dancer girl. Julia Stiles.
KT: Yeah! I don't remember what it was called. The only part I remember is when he
got drunk and talked to a spider in his apartment.
Maddie: Oh yeah...
KT: And that other one with Monica Potter where she lives with the four super
models and lives across the street and thinks he's a serial killer.
Maddie: Head Over Heels.
KT: *brain explodes* All these fucking movies are the same! They have the same
damn people in it and similar plots! I hate them, they can all die! THEY CAN ALL BURN
IN EFFIGY FOR ALL I CARE. They aren't original at all-- *slight pause* --not like
The Day After Tomorrow!!!!
"Maybe she'll paint a clown on her vagina." -Maddie? Me? IDK
Ginger: *ecstatic* Who we going to talk about next?!
KT: We don't have to talk about people.
Ginger: Let's talk about *~ideas~*!!!!
"HOLD ON A SEC, DOUG." -Samson
"You know..." -Samson
"No... I mean, live and... let live! *snort*" -Samson
"You all ready for the weekend?" -Samson
"Well I love Jamaica." -Nick
"In lay terms Lar--" -Samson
"Doug... Lar... FELLAS." -Samson
"We'll say 'yes' to that." -Samson
"Trolly!" -and, who else? Samson
When Maddie and I watched Soul Plane
"The only way you got sticky fingers is if you sat next to Ms. Potato Head."
"Oh my God. Did she just say balogna?"
"Testicles 1,2... Testicles 1,2." -Snoop Dogg
"This is a big one."
"I've got the perfect song."
**Ah, Push it**
"Everyone's going to be pregnant at the end of this flight." -7 Up Guy
"African crabs are very aggressive. They're hunters." -7 Up Guy
"I wanna get up in the club." -Tom Arnold
"Did you just grind on me?"
"A little."
"Ugghhh!! Uuugghhh!! LOOK-A-MAH WATCH."
"She's like 200 years old."
"Please don't pack my fudge."
Meanwhile, at Beloit...
J.Lo: Hollywood Video... I've been here--
KT: Once.
J.Lo:--once.
"See you in a half-hour." -J.Lo
Bridget: I think that's Jesse's roommate.
KT: Who?
Bridget: Him. In the gray sweatshirt.
KT: Oh.
Bridget: I think his name is...
KT: *to Andy* That's Jesse's roommate.
Andy: Who? *points in a completely obvious manner* Him?
KT: Haha, yes.
*Roommate sits in front of KT*
Bridget: You should randomly say the name "Justin".
KT: Why?
Bridget: I think that's his name.
KT: I don't want to. *pause* I'll make Andy do it. *pokes Andy* Andy, say the name
"Justin" randomly.
Andy: Why?
KT: It's Jesse's roommate's name but we're not sure if it's him and Bridget is too
afraid to ask him.
Andy: Oh. Okay.
*A good 5 minutes passes*
Andy: *loudly* You should get a new cat and name it Justin.
KT: *blinks* Why?
Andy: Because it'd be a weird name for a cat.
*listening to Guys and Dolls soundtrack*
Andy: It sounds like Timon.
KT: Um..it's Nathan Lane. Same voice.
Andy: Oh...
Bridget: Don't worry, we don't think you're stupid.
"I want soup!"-Me
"I beat up a down syndrome kid."-Dameron
"Uh oh, Dameron's by the base button."-Melissa
"You are what you eat."-Kelly
ANDY: You should get married!
KT: What?
ANDY: You should get married, and then invite me.
KT: What? Why?
ANDY: Because two of my friends have gotten married and I wasn't invited to either
of the weddings.
KT: I don't want to get married. WHO would I marry?
ANDY: Find Recycling Boy and say "Hey..."
KT: The odds of me finding the guy I'm going to marry by next summer are highly
unlikely, Dameron.
ANDY: No! It's possible! You could do it and it'd be so cool!
KT: Why don't YOU get married, since you're so animated about the subject.
ANDY: Oh. No one would want to marry me.
*Everyone at the table laughs*
KT: Dameron, there are hundreds of girls who want to marry you.
ANDY: No there aren't!
KT: *imitating Andy* Oh boo no one wants to marry me. Meanwhile at the Andy
Dameron Fanclub HQ: *high-pitched voice* Who do we love? *in a trance*
Dam...er...on... *high-pitched voice* Why do we love him? *pause, confused look* Why
do we love him? *pause, then:* ASIAN!!!!
"I once ate a whole napkin!"-Dameron
"They're talking about sex under the Christmas tree!"-Me
*Dameron starts humping the air*
"I hate them. No, I don't hate th--I hate them."-Davy
"Nothing ever happens on Mars!"-Waiting for Guffman
Joseph: (in a queer British voice) Oh Elephante! How I wish to sponge-bathe with you
underneath the moonlight!
Elephante: (cartoonish British voice) Oh but Joseph, we are located near the city, and
will surely be seen!
Joseph: We will sponge-bathe underneath the moonlight by the jungle's edge.
Elephante: Ah yes, the jungle's edge! But dear Joseph, what will we do for privacy's
sake?
Joseph: We will hang curtains, Elephante!
Elephante: Curtains! Yes! Curtains! Oh Joseph, where will we acquire such curtains?
Joseph: From my father's curtain factory in the city! Elephante, we will hang them
from the branches of the trees!
Elephante: At the jungle's edge!
"I promise, no more dancing. This is a classy place. I have to remember: no burping, no scratching myself, no farting, no tripping. *to the front row* If I trip and fall, you're prepared to catch me, right?" -Clay Aiken
"So snuggle up with the one you're here with, unless you came with a Claymate, and in that case, you're on your own." -Clay Aiken
"She heard a song she liked by her favorite singer, *pause, then points to self with a sarcastic look on his face* and she turned it up as loud as she could, because she just can't get enough of me. So she's driving around, jamming to 'O Holy Night' and she's pulled over for having her music too loud. She got a ticket." -Clay Aiken
"Thank you five." -Clay Aiken
"You've had, what like 8,000?" -Cody to Dameron, about how many girlfriends he's had
"I've held it, through his clothes." -Andy, on Steve's wang
"I can't think of a single person you went out with. Not one person." -Cody to Dameron
"Speaking of goodness, let's talk about the exact opposite of your dad -death- I mean Beth! Haha, that's funny." -Cody
"She was beautiful. Your dog was beautiful." -Cody
Don't eat it! It's made out of people!" -Davy
KT: I hurt inside
Kelly: Me too!
Davy: It's the people trying to get out!
"What are you and your blinky lights doing?" -Kelly
"I think we're stuck." -Kelly
"But you didn't open the door--" -My Dad
Kelly: Where is all this moisture coming from?
KT: Maybe Illinois is the secret libido of the Earth.
KT: Plenty of time. Unless we watch The Pianist
Melissa (aka People): THE WHAT??!!?!
"Yeah, that Harry Derchee, he's a good man." -Dad
"Hey! Welcome to Hypoglycemia. Eat in the morning or be sad." -Carly
Kelly: That tsunami caused the Earth's rotation to speed up.
Ann: Does that mean we're aging faster?
"Get a midget in a gimp suit..." -Ben
"That was passive aggressive!!!!!" -Julie
"Jeff, the God of biscuits..." -Eddie Izzard
Ann: Hey... I'm going to call you Los Angeles, or maybe L.A.
KT: I can tell you my name is Katie...??
"Oh look at the time. *TWITCH*" -Davy
"Her time is coming." -Davy
KT: We'll watch Dodgeball at my house, but I have to set up the DVD player first.
Kelly: Mmmtay.
KT: Okie dokie.
Davy: De ja vu.
*long pause*
KT: And I have fudge.
HeavensGirl929: hahaha could you imagine our mom's duking it out over dameron? hahaha "he's a creative genius!" "no, he's a tool!" "genius!" "tool!" "genius!" "tool!"
CarBeatle: thanks for your care and concern with my moulinrouge viewing
CarBeatle: ;-)
CarBeatle: i loved it like i was watching it for teh first time and i cried like i was
watching it the first time
CarBeatle: yay for me!!
CarBeatle: ha
heybutterfly3: aww how adorable
heybutterfly3: you should marry my friend Andy Dameron. he creams his pants for
MR.
CarBeatle: ha
CarBeatle: right
CarBeatle: oh great
CarBeatle: yeah i should
CarBeatle: ha
heybutterfly3: you should
CarBeatle: mmhmm
CarBeatle: ok
CarBeatle: i don't know if i can marry someone who beat up a kid with downs
syndrome
heybutterfly3: ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
heybutterfly3: omg--- my friend margot just told me she saw Saw
RMADDIE5: haha, sweet
RMADDIE5: my weird ass step sister was telling me how much she liked that movie
and i pretty much just started laughing at her
RMADDIE5: and then when i walked out of the room and i said "game over" and
shut the door in a dramatic burst!
heybutterfly3: ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RMADDIE5: it was awesome cuz i'm hilarious like that
RMADDIE5: ahhh, SAW
heybutterfly3: roflrofl
"3. Write a letter to Bush telling him the WMD's are hidden in Ginger's closet and that there's a massive tsunami headed towards Normal so he'd better hurry up and bomb the joint before seemingly harmless sea creatures get ahold of the precious weapons and succeed in their long awaited plot to take over all landmass in order to later evolve into amphibians with opposable thumbs and thus rule the world and then we'd declare war on the sea and eventually everyone would get sea creatures confused with land creatures until it was an all out war of Man vs. Beast and then our national security system would change from color codes to food chain codes such as JUNE 16th, 2007--LEVEL MARSUPIAL: HIGH RISK OF MARSUPIAL MISCHIEF and of course we'd still be sitting here in LJ land all like "FLIPPING AMERICA--IT WAS THE SEA CREATURES! THE SEEEAAA CREATUUURES!!!!" but alas W. Bush will have the last laugh when it is discovered that Osama Bin Laden was a merman all along." -My answer to a random survey question.
"Orville Stamm invented the cotton gin in 1647." -Cody (during Balderdash)
The Case of the Lucky Legs, is what?:
"Perry Mason goes after a beauty pageant promoter who leaves town with the prize money." -Correct Balderdash Answer
"A man finds a treasure map to an unknown island on which the natives have no legs until they open the treasure with the golden legs in it." -Sean's Answer
"A dark comedy following the journey of a parapelegic detective in search of his stolen legs." -My Answer
"About a chicken who gets saved from being KFC's Famous Chicken Legs." -John's Answer
"I can distract him, I'm taking an Indian Philosophy class this semester." -Amy Silver, on Periera and our sonnets
Samson: How did you know that?
Kim: *points to page* It's... bold.
Steve: Where's your bike?
Maddie: I don't have a bike.
Yes you do. Oh, I know where it is... it's down by the docks.
KT: Have you seen Mystic River?
Maddie: Is that the hockey one?
ANACONDAS!!!!!
"Are we talking about the pharmecutical equivalent of the fountain of youth??"
"It'll be bigger than Viagra."
"Why don't you two just get a room?"
"Everything gets eaten out here. It's the jungle."
"One big mating ball."
"You're tellin' me there's some kind of snake orgy out in the jungle?!"
KT: I really wanna buy Strangers with Candy season 3 on DVD.
Maddie: Let's do it!
KT: Okay, right now!
Maddie: Oh... but I really want it too. I have no money.
KT: You can borrow it from me.
Maddie: Yeah.
KT: Or... I could buy it for myself and let you borrow it for a really long time, and
then on your birthday I'll give it to you and buy one for myself.
"Stay, you imperfect creature." -Kim Pereira, to the clock
"You can interpret it also..." -Samson
"Actually I broke up with him because of the distance. And he was balding." -Amy
"Who would want breasts that don't move? Ugliest sight I've ever seen." -Kim, on Pamela Anderson
"Who rocked Moline? I DID." -Josh Groban
"Friend with benefits?" -Josh Groban
"Spotlight down please..." -Josh Groban, holding a tiny glow stick!!!!
"It got really quiet." -J*Gro
"I LOVE YOU!!!!!!" -J*Gro
"You guys like tractors? I know I do." -J*Gro
"Pray for the thief who stole them." -MY MOM (about the person who stole Christmas!!)
"If you're saying it at, you know, Walmart..." -David Odell Harmon, on admitting you're a pet psychologist
"I'd like to see Matt dead today, if possible." -Kim
"Denys say what?" -Me
KT: What time is it?!
Connie: Z TIME.
"DROP KA-BOOM!!!!!" -Kathleen
"I QUIT." -Courtney/Me
Cody: What's bigger than Australia but smaller than a restaurant?
Everyone: Cody, don't you mean the other way arou--
Cody: JUST FUCKING GO WITH IT!
"Chances are 5 out of 8 you're looking for lip gloss." -I really am dumb, you guys.
"What do you call having sex with someone who's asleep?" "Uh...rape."
"Hell wants him. Heaven won't take him. Earth needs him" -CONSTANTINE
"That makes me happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow!" -Clay on SCRUBS!
"It's the best day ev-er! Best day ev-er!" -Spongebob song
"Hey Kelly! You hate me, I know, but I guess you can have this picture :) Stay cool! -Andy Dameron" -What Andy wrote on the back of his senior pic to Kelly. Heh, well, AT LEAST KELLY GOT ONE, UNLIKE *SOME* PEOPLE.
Andy, on the elderly:
"*whispers* I do want to go out, just not with the old people. I hoped you'd come. I
was like 'please be there, please be there'!"
"I thought if they sneezed, they would die."
"This one guy had a little head. It was crazy! It was like from Men in Black or something--*alien noises*"
Me: Andy, you're ageist.
Andy: Huh?
Me: You're ageist.
Andy: WHAT?!! Oh. Yeah.
"It's funny because they're old and like, totally going to die soon. It's hilarious."
"I'd like an order of *deformed face* with a side of *deformed face* but hold the *deformed face*." -Our Future Restaurant!
"YOU LOOK LIKE JOHN CUSACK!!!!!" -The Mint Green Suit Lady to Dameron (I laughed so hard.)
"I'm a little fetus
Short and stout.
Here is my cord and--
HERE IS MY SNOUT." -DAMERON!!!!!
"OH MY GOD, you are my best friend EVER, holy CRAP!!!! I got home, at like, I've been busy all weekend-- I've been having some like, retreat thing whatever for Forensics-- so I get home, it's like 11 o'clock, I just got done with my show, and, you know, there is a package and I see it's from you and I'm like 'oh sweet'. So I open it up----HOW COOL IS THAT?!?! You rock, I'm good, yeah, definately rock. Thank you so much. I'm indebted to you. Uh, yeah, you wanna-- I'll, I'll make you a compilation CD of her stuff, definately. Um, but yeah I just wanted to say thank youuu. And, uh, yeah, I'll talk to you later. Byyye." -The Best Voicemail Message Ever
Kim: His name is Harry Belafonte.
Amy: I just kept thinking, Joey Buttafucco.
"Just woo your knee." -David Odell Harmon
"I learned that when people are bored, they'll throw programs at you. And one learns how to dodge." -John Malkovich
"I can't be accused...of ever doing the same...what-they-call 'blocking'... twas." -John Malkovich
"I'll tell you what I look for... Someone who is okay with who they are, does their best, and leaves. That's what I like." -John Malkovich
"Let me give you the number of my ex-psychiatrist. *reveals tiny purse*" -John Malkovich
"Where will we get a napkin holder? *pause* We just couldn't figure it out. *pause* Well, should we do the play? *pause* Does your mom have one?" -John Malkovich
"Her roommate likes to call the cops." -The ex-bastard neighbor at 2am, apparently talking about ME ROFL.
Amy: Like a Quickie Mart?
Kim: Yes. What the hell is that?
"Rocker-Constantine confronts Theatre-Constantine, which is like Alien Vs. Predator in that no matter who wins there, we all lose." -Jacob from Television Without Pity
"I'm Ashton Kutcher! I'm awesome! *punches the air crazily*" -Justin Timberlake on SNL
"Smoke is having the Best Week Ever." -VH1
KT: What should I call my play? Andy's Room?
Colleen: Andy's Closet.
KT: Andy called Bo Bice a tool.
Kelly: That's like the pot calling the kettle black.
"No one knew about that forest..." -Bo/Con Slash
"You are the Preamble to my personal Constitution." -Joe Flowers, All You Can Eat
"Can we sing something not from five minutes ago?" -Colleen
"That's... chairtastic. Or lamptastic." -Kelly
"In 3 1/2 months it'll be happy and giggly with ______, but not like with ______." -Kelly/Me
"Looks like a JPEG to me." -Colleen
"Mmmmkay." -Dameron/Me/Kelly
"Brigadoon 2: Four Days Later." -Sean/Me
Wendy's: He vanished, just like Brigadoon...
Bartender: What's Brigadoon?
Wendy's: The name of my little brother who ran away.
"This little flippy-doo, meow!!" -ANDY!!!!! (omg <3 <3 <3)
"Is that a home-made jacket?" -Davy, to Pete
"I'm going to rape you." -Pete, to Davy
Mike: Hi. I don't like my table. Let's all hold hands and sing "We Are the World". Do
you hate me?
Sean: Yes.
Me: I have to be honest...
Mike: Come on, hold hands.
Sean/Kelly: No, he/she has cooties.
*his friends call him back*
Sean: Bye! We'll have to catch up on old times some time.
"I was born, a baby." -Will Ferrel, Kicking & Screaming
Darth Vader: *heavy breathing* Where's Padme???
Emporer: You killed her in your anger.
Darth Vader: NOOOOOooooOOOOOooooOOOOOOOooo!!!!!!!!
Me: Hehe, I-- nevermind.
Kelly: You can't do that. You have a whole ride home with Dameron and I and then
forever in New York.
"Are we the normal ones in our group?" -Kelly
Me: Wow this tape has a lot of Clay Aiken on it. Must've made it back when I liked
him.
Andy: *turns around while driving and gives me a look*
Me: I still love him.
"Schmaleschmaleschmaleschmaleschmale." -Dameron/Me
The Schmale Rd. Song, "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me" -Dameron/Me
"You can tell us. I just said I'd give my virginity to Bo Bice. That's pretty bad." -Me
Me: Do you know what that lamp is?
Kelly: Bo Bice?
Me: Yes.
"All improvviso amore is the epic adventure song. I picture swinging from ropes and sword fights and The Sahara desert and... race cars. And jungle cats. Rainbows. Do you want me to keep going? Because I will. Tornadoes. Lightning. Arabian ponies. The Rocky mountains. I picture me and Bo Bice on top of one of the Rocky mountains with a rainbow over our heads and giant tornadoes dancing around us as we ride our Arabian ponies..." -Me, not drunk, tired and with a mad stomach ache
Matt: What is your favorite vegetable?
Me: Potatoes.
Matt: Aren't potatoes a starch?
"There are two buttons on Andy. The cat, and the James Brown." -Me
"I'm gonna spoon you." -Kevin, holding up a spoon to Dameron
"You don't last long, do you?" -Andy, to his glass of water
Andy: I dumped my water on the table, can I have a new one?
Waiter: Oh you spilled, sure thing.
Andy: No, you didn't hear me. I said I dumped my water on the table.
(NEVER HAPPENED:0/ )
"My placemat is leaking, can I have another one?" -Andy
Me: You should run for Pope.
Andy: Start campaigning! 'I want to be Pope'. 'What are your qualifications?' 'I like
hats'.
"YEEEEAAAAAYYYYSSSHHHH!!!!!" -Dameron/Kelly/Me
"LEEEAAAFFFFTT!!!" -Dameron/Kelly/Me
Kelly: Where's Davy?
Kevin: He's tired.
Kelly: I worked 14 hours today. Fuck Davy."
"SHUT UP, I'LL KILL YOU." -Summer, to Kevin (yay Summer's first quote!)
"What are you doing?"
"Dancing with my phone, why?" -BRETT!
"Your Mom Wireless." -Me at 4am
"The Kitchen Dance!" -Kelly/Me, again at 4am
"TONTO, JUMP ON IT, JUMP ON IT, JUMP ON IT." -JAMBO, from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
"Dancing in the moonbounce!" -Me at 4:30am