Can't write my customary essay-length greetings, today,
alas, since I am about to go down the pub (the World's End in Camden,
if anyone cares to join me... then to Monkeychews in Chalk Farm, if you're
interested - yummy cocktails..! Only £4 a pop..!), but... here, m'dears,
are a few new oddments for you to wang in your ganderbag prior to the
start of term - particularly if you're doing AS Language or Media (the links are at the bottom, too).
There'll be more to come when I get the time - and do e-mail in
anything you reckon might be useful to anyone else. Right. Off boozing,
now. Shall try m'best not end the evening butt nekkid in a pond on
Hampstead Heath. But can't promise anything. Hee hee..!
Chin chin, sweeties..!
Huw, sah... x x x
* * * Recent Additions - 11th October 2001 * * *
Just tiny wee filler-ettes, these, but it occurred to me
that one of the things you can never have enough of is
"keep the little sods quiet"-type worksheets for nasty, unexpected
cover lessons... so I wrote a few up... you might need the odd
Mini Mars bar as a prize, but these have kept even the most
saucy-tongued Y9 Woodwork classes silent for about 40 minutes...
...bliss. Oh, and you might want to remove the 'Mr Bucknell' bit
from the sheets before you use them... unless you wish to promote
me as an International Figure Of Intrigue And Mystery among your
wide-eyed brood. Mmmmmm. Broooood. Enjoy..! Salut..!
I don't know about you lot, but I'm personally thinking about
going back to my old job as a Bangkok ladyboy - as my diet now seems
to consist of nothing other than Pot Noodles and oven chips, the
breasts seem to be coming back of their own accord, so why waste them,
that's what I say. To my "clients", mostly. Brrr..!
Hey, hey, anyway, anyway, I'll probably stick with the teaching lark
for the next 30 years or so - y'know, just to see how it goes and all -
and on the assumption that you, too, have been heavily blackmailed by
your head of department (over an 'incident' with a gym mistress and a
rolled-up copy of the TES, in my case - damn that in-school CCTV..!),
please find herein a few more lousy lesson plans to ease you
on your passage to early retirement (due to a stress-related disorder
of the bladder, I expect, knowing you lot...).
I've also recently posted some stuff of my own... various bits and bobs,
currently residing at the top of the Englishstuff... page, basically
a bunch of stuff that I whizzed together for an extremely low ability
Y10 English group, trying to get them ready to do some personal writing
for their NEAB GCSE folders... tho' these could be adapted for anything
down to Y8, I reckon, or just printed off as fillers/emergency back-ups
for when you have to do an unexpected cover or haven't been arsed to
plan anything. You indolent gits.
Remember, you can still send lavish cash gifts for the Huw Bucknell
Memorial Bladder Disorder Support Fund to...
...or, if you're desperate for academic recognition, you could always send your lesson plans instead.
You sick, sick, beautiful, pert young people, you. Mmmmm.