| Chapter Sixteen That was six months ago. I still hadn’t come to any decisions about telling him; although I did call the phone number he had given when he registered at the ranch. I had made my mind up to tell him only to get his answering machine. Part of me had felt relieved, but the other part of me filled with dread. I knew I was just dragging out the inevitable, but I couldn’t bring myself to track him down and tell him. Leaving a personal message like that one on an answering machine just felt wrong. Besides, what was I going to say? ‘Hi Kevin, remember me? I’m the one you slept with on your vacation and now I’m pregnant.’ I don’t think so. If I ever told him it would be face to face. I owed him that much at least. And it didn't help that I still worried over his reaction. Would he want custody? Would he seek an active part in our child’s life? Or would he totally blow me and our child off? I didn't know. I knew nothing about him except for the little information he'd shared with me on his vacation and the little bit of information I had gleaned from the media. Honestly, it wasn't enough information to base any decisions on, and not knowing left me in a constant quandary about what to do or what not to do. My sister's kept at me to track him down and tell him, but as the months went by without a word from him it just became easier to put the decision off. It's not that I didn't want our child to know it's father's love, because I did. But up until this point, the baby was mine and mine alone. I didn't need financial support, nor did I want it. Between the ranch and helping the area businessmen and ranchers with their businesses I made good money. I had everything I needed to raise a well-adjusted child. And yet, there was still a small part of my heart that I had been unable to reclaim after Kevin left, which yearned for him. His calm presence, his strong arms. Just him. I thought about our time together constantly. Mentally replaying that week over and over and over again. Remembering the feel of his arms around me, the scrape of his goatee on my skin, the feel of his lips on mine and the indescribable pleasure that we had shared. Those memories were on constant replay and I didn't even have the luxury of work to take my mind off of him. I'd had a few complications and from the time I was four months along until I was almost eight months along, the doctor had put me on light duty. I wasn't allowed to ride, work with animals or be on my feet for long stretches of time. All that left was manning the desk, answering phones and confirming reservations along with the occasional help in the kitchen. But even then, my sister's hovered over me and more often than not, I found myself sitting at the kitchen table, my feet propped up on another chair and a pillow at my back. No other soon-to-be mom could have been more pampered, but it was driving me absolutely crazy. Then yesterday at my doctor's appointment, the doctor decreed that I wasn't to work at all until after the baby was born. No answering the phones, no taking care of guest complaints. Nothing. He wanted me to stay as calm as possible and avoid all stressful situations. The earlier minor complications of my pregnancy had blown into a big problem. My blood pressure was way to high and the swelling of my body wasn't healthy. Not only was he worried about my baby, but he was concerned with my health also. So it was no surprise when I saw both my sisters coming toward me with worried looks on their faces. I knew instinctively that they were trying to find the gentlest way possible to tell me whatever news they had. "I know you don't want to talk about this, but are you ever going to tell Kevin about the baby?" Callie asked gently, as they both sat down next to me. "You're right, I don't want to talk about this, so why are we?" I asked, my aggravation with the topic clearly showing in my tone of voice. "Because he's here," Carly stated flatly. "He? He who?" I asked, already knowing and dreading what they were trying to tell me. "It looks like the choice has been taken out of your hands, Cassie. Kevin's here and he's booked for the next month," Callie stated evenly as she reached for my hand. Everything in me stilled. This was the absolute last thing I wanted or needed to hear. He was here, he was going to know the first time he looked at me that the baby was his and there was nothing I could do about it. CCC Index Chapter Seventeen Main Page |